A/n: So last chapter I revealed that Sesshoumaru has a secret, what happens when Kagome stumbles about something she's not supposed to know? Will Sesshoumaru let his feelings free?
Chapter Seven: Dark Secrets.
Celene watched her sleeping friend and shuddered again at the thought of her being abused. Sometimes she wondered if she was the only one who loved the girl, but was there not friendship among the taijya and Kagome, and what about the monk and the kitsune? Did they not care what happened to their friend or were they simply unaware of it? The demoness shook her head. It did no good to just think about these things over and over again…it made her head hurt.
Celene's gaze was brought to the young girls face as bright blue eyes fluttered open. Kagome caught sight of her friend and instantly dove forward into her chest, crying. "I thought it was all a dream, meeting you and Sesshoumaru." Kagome sobbed as her friend wrapped her arms about the shaking body. "I was so afraid, he has never done that before." Celene tensed as the words.
"And he never will again." Celene promised. Kagome looked up and gazed into clear blue eyes.
Sesshoumaru watched the duo and something, though he did not know what, welled up in his chest. There was something about that human that made him remember. He did not want to remember. Kiyoko. Sesshoumaru cleared his throat and made himself known to the room. The girls gasped and Kagome inclined her head, watching as Celene stood and bowed low. "Servant, leave us." He commanded in a cold voice.
Kagome tried to grab Celene's hand, but she didn't get a chance. Before she knew it she was in a room all alone with Sesshoumaru, he who reminded her so much of him and how he had hurt her. "Lor…lord Sesshoumaru." Kagome stuttered, moving to stand up.
The feeling in his chest rose again and he looked at her, his golden eyes not as cold and piercing as he wanted them to be. She was just hurt, emotionally and physically. I merely do not want to cause her more pain. He told himself. "Please miko, stay seated, I do not wish to cause you discomfort." He tensed for a fraction of a second as he noticed his voice was soft and smooth.
Kagome looked shocked, but seated herself anyway. "What is it you wish to speak to me about Lord Sesshoumaru? If you do not want me to stay, please be ensured that I do not want to cause you trouble."
Sesshoumaru almost grunted out loud. He wanted to tell her she was already too much trouble, to much a pain in his rear, but the words wouldn't come. He looked into those blue eyes and shuddered inwardly, his mind coming alive. How could I have not seen it before? My Kiyoko.
His gaze unnerved Kagome as she started to play with her blanket, bowing her head so that she did not have to see him stare with that look in his eyes. She wanted Celene back. She wanted to be back home with her mother. The tears came into Kagome's eyes, but they didn't spill over.
It was the scent of salt that stopped his mind. He blinked and his cold exterior was back. He watched as the human before him relaxed, but she did not look up. "What did…he do to you miko?"
He should have been expecting this. The tears, the sobbing noises, but from some reason he was not. Was it just because he wasn't shocked at his brother's actions? Or was it because he didn't think she should waste her tears on his brother. He did not know, but it had to stop. He wanted to stop it.
Before he knew what he was doing his hand reached forward and settled on her head. A motion that was meant to be soothing, but it only seemed to break her more. Unsettled, he sat beside her and grabbed her shaking shoulders, pulling her into his body so that her tears landed on his haori. "I am sorry, miko, for my brothers actions." He whispered softly into her ear. Kagome nodded, wanting to tell him it was not is fault, but the words once again failed her.
He didn't know why he thought about it, and he didn't want to know why he had the sudden urge to kiss her, but as soon as she lifted her head, her eyes red and puffy looking at him apologetically, he gave in. Gently he took her chin and tipped it just slightly, touching his lips to hers.
At first Kagome stilled, but soon relaxed and kissed back with the same softness that he was using. Sesshoumaru released her and smiled to himself. "Kiyoko…"
He didn't realize he said it out loud, but he regretted kissing his brothers wench. He could feel her anger rise up, and then it change into complete surrender. I will never be just me…I always remind them of someone else… Kagome stood and left Sesshoumaru sitting there. She personally didn't mind if she shook when she stood, or how she flinched at every shadow. To her it was natural. Maybe I was just never meant to be liked as Kagome...And who is Kiyoko?
There was silence for several long minutes. Neither of them had the guts to say anything. Sesshoumaru was appalled that he had kissed his brothers woman, Kagome was disgusted that she once again was just a replacement. Kagome took a deep breath. "Sesshoumaru, who is Kiyoko?"
She watched the demon lord tense up. "No one." Quickly he stood and walked to the door. "Get some sleep human." Kagome bowed her head and frowned. I'll always be second, to everyone.
Several times that day Celene had checked up on Kagome but each time she was found just sitting on her window ledge. It did no good for Celene to try to start a conversation because words did not enter into her friends head. Celene had left food and drinks for Kagome but all had gone untouched.
He said he was sorry for his brother's actions, but is his actions any better? What would I do, what would they all do if I could go home and not be here…? I would never want to be here. Kagome opened her mouth and whispered "never". They never change. All the boys are the same, no matter what age. Kagome knew that she was watching her, she was always watching her. "Who is Kiyoko?" Kagome ask directly.
She heard the demoness take a sharp breath. Kagome felt the demoness grief and sorrow, but she paid no heed to that. "Celene answer me, I need to know."
Celene frowned. "Come Lady Kagome, I will show you."
For the second time that day Kagome stood, her muscle screaming as she did, but she ignored the pain. Several hallways they walked down, each one twisting and turning until Kagome was lost completely. When at last the duo stopped they gazed upon a room, on the door was engraved a human woman, dressed in several layers. "We are not supposed to be in here…I cannot go in, I believe I will get killed for it Lady Kagome."
Kagome only nodded before entering the room. When she entered Celene shut the door quickly behind her. Kagome gazed at a room, blue as the sea with pictures aligning every wall. She walked through them slowly, staring at the woman who had long black hair and deep crystal blue eyes. Beside the picture was a mirror scattered with blood. At first Kagome wanted to turn away yet she stayed and looked at herself, gazing into her soul. "We are one, you and I."
No we are not. I will never be anyone other than Kagome Higurashi. I am from a different time, a different life. You fit in here, he loved you. They could never love me.
"They?"
Yes they... The inu brothers.
A hallow laugh filled the room. "I am no longer there, you belong there now Kagome Higurashi for a different time. This is your life now."
As soon as the voice came it was gone. Again Kagome was looking in the mirror, seeing not only herself but the woman in the picture. You are mistaken Kiyoko. I belong no where. Kagome left after that, sad and angry and things she knew no depths to.
She wasn't surprised that Celene was not there when she left the room. Instead Celene found her wandering the halls aimlessly. "We never knew Lady Kiyoko. Sesshoumaru never let us lay eyes on her, and those who were able to, die when Lady Kiyoko passed away."
Kagome frowned. "You never knew what she looked like?"
Celene shook her head. "All we know is that she was to be of a great beauty, and some rumors have it that she was human."
"If she was a human then why would Sesshoumaru hate humans?"
Celene didn't look at her. Her eyes were plastered to the ground as the other servants walked by. "They are weak and fragile. He does not hate them, he hates to love them. It was said that Lady Kiyoko died by sickness, since then he has hated humans. All but Rin and now it seems you."
Kagome stopped and turned around. "He does not care for me Celene…I'll see you at supper." Kagome said, making her way to the gardens. Slowly she walked in the moonlight, but she did not know what time it was. We are a weakness to him. We are fragile and prone to sickness that is why we are lower then them? Then why do only humans live in the future? Or does it only seem that way? Kagome shook her head and stared at the bench where she had sat with Sesshoumaru on earlier on. Slowly she made her way over there and sat on the stone bench, its coolness alerting her. How do you heal a heart of stone? It attracts coolness in even the warmest of nights, and Sesshoumaru, he lives in the darkest night of them all.
She didn't need to be told the answer to the question, but the spirit that was now inside her seemed to feel the need to help. "Show him the warmth of the light, for stones attract heat Kagome." That was all it took before Kagome slammed her fist against the cold stone. Power illuminated from her hand.
I don't want to be a weak defenseless human. I want to be powerful, like Midoriko. Kagome cradled her hand in her other. I want to be strong enough…so someone can love ME. Kagome knew that she didn't need strength for someone to love her. She just needed strength so that he would love her.
Sesshoumaru walked up to the door and pressed his hand against it. Why can't it be you, my sweet Kiyoko?
"I am a memory in her, but you do not see her. No one ever sees her."
Sesshoumaru's eyes widened at the voice of his former love. "No one ever listens to her laugh and no one ever hears her crying, always compared, always a replacement."
Sesshoumaru entered the room and a mixed scent hit him. Kiyoko's surrounded him, but mixed in it was Kagome's own scent. A growl escaped his lips and he turned to leave but the doors shut before him. Behind him an image took place, one that looked almost identical to Kagome's.
"Do not hate her for this Sesshoumaru. She has done nothing wrong. I am glad she and I have met, it is so much easier now that I know why." The images lips did not move but slowly she moved to the mirror, Sesshoumaru followed her. "Why didn't you cover this up, my blood…it is scattered on this piece of glass."
Though he heard her words he did not pay them any attention. In front of him stood his reflection of him, but it was more than just him he had seen. It was him and a black haired, blue eyes woman. Kagome. "Kiyoko."
The ghost figure touched the mirror and the woman's eyes turned two shades darker and her hair shorter. "This is my incarnation. She is not the incarnation of the miko Kikyou. Kikyou is a relation yes, but she is diluted as is her power. Kagome…She is a straight descendant of Midoriko. She is very powerful Sesshoumaru. Her heart is stronger then anything I have ever seen before this. Nurture it, build it and make her love strong, my love. Give her a chance, she is me."
Sesshoumaru grew angry and punched the mirror, hating the image that showed before him. "I refuse. I will not love a human."
The shadow before him fell to her knees, tears streamed down her face. "Did we mean nothing to you? Do you not want that feeling to be yours again? You were once happy…"
"I am happy." Sesshoumaru said out loud to the figure.
"You are hiding yourself. You are a stone. A cold stone who is sinking to the bottom of the ocean and you have given up fighting. Kagome can save you." The figure looked at Sesshoumaru then through Sesshoumaru. "Let us save you."
"I do not need saving by a weak, pathetic human. You died because you are weak, only the strong live. I do not need you and I shall never need Kagome." Sesshoumaru clenched his teeth then turned towards the door, standing in the entrance stood Kagome, shocked but her masked covered her hurt, and her dying hope. "What are you doing here?"
Kagome frowned then shut the door, walking away. Quickly he opened the door and took after her. His hand found its way around her neck. "Why did you come here?"
"Release me Sesshoumaru." Kagome said coldly as she kept her eyes down.
Sesshoumaru pressed harder. "Tell me why you came here."
Kagome's face hardened. "I said release me."
Sesshoumaru blocked off her wind pipe and whispered in her ear. "Why the hell have you come here?"
Kagome's miko energy blasted his back but did not hurt him. When he opened his eyes she could see her finger pointed at him, pink miko powers shining at her finger tips. "I told you to release me." Kagome shot it forward, purposely missing him just slightly before walking away to the springs.
Sesshoumaru pushed forward, forcing himself to take no notice to the human. She was not his first love, she was nothing like her. Once in his own room Sesshoumaru sat on his bed, his hands running through his hair. I was never meant to be with anyone, especially a human. The stressed demon lord lay down and sighed, closing his eyes for just a minute. That woman is nothing more than trouble.
[Dream]
Sesshoumaru entered her room, taking her up in his arms as he let out a small smile that only she was allowed to see. "Kiyoko, how are you feeling today?"
Kiyoko smiled softly, "Better now that you are here, but other than that." The silence was enough to tell Sesshoumaru the truth. Kiyoko moved away from him staring at the ground. "Sesshoumaru why do you love me?"
Sesshoumaru looked at his mate and frowned. "Why wouldn't I love you?"
"That isn't an answer." Kiyoko reminded him as she stood beside her window. "Sesshoumaru just give up on me, I am a human. I can not heal from this sickness."
Sesshoumaru's eyes flashed at the thought of her dying. "You will get better."
Kiyoko turned to him, tears in her eyes as she reached her hand out towards him. "Love, I am dying. I will not make it to next month never mind next week. I am not that strong."
Sesshoumaru walked up to her and took her into his arms, hugging her fiercely but also softly as not to hurt her. "My human, you are so fragile."
"I am fragile." Kiyoko agreed,
That night Kiyoko died in the arms of her love. Sesshoumaru had watched her struggle out of bed to look in the mirror as an unknown blackness raced over her skin. A cough came from her mouth and her blood splattered the mirror. Sesshoumaru watched from his bed but dared not to move. The blackness was complete and Kiyoko was now being strangled and no matter what he did, nothing could help her. Silently Sesshoumaru walked up to her and hugged her, her blood dripping from her mouth onto his haori.
"I love you, Sesshoumaru." Kiyoko said with her last words as she looked up into his eyes. Sesshoumaru lowered his head down to kiss her lips, but her body fell limp and her lips fell away from his. He did not cry that night, he didn't ever cry for her.
[End of dream]
Sesshoumaru woke to find his pillows slightly wet from what he could only guess as tears. His throat went tight as he stood and walked to his window, looking out to a moon lit garden.
He watched her smile to herself and twirl and dance, not knowing anyone was watching her. Kagome…you are nothing to me but a reminder of what I have lost, but, like you did for my brother, can you make me forget what has happened and make me feel…warm again? That's what she did for Inuyasha, he knew it. She showed him acceptance, but…it wasn't just acceptance. Kagome had really loved his brother, and Inuyasha had thrown that away.
He stared down at her one last time before he turned and left he window. My feelings towards her will not change. She is nothing to me but a weak human…and me feelings will stay that way forever…won't they?