A/N: Everyone is so depressed. *pokes everyone* Why are you all so depressed? It's getting hard to write! *deep breaths* Okay, important character development…important character development…can't be rushed…can't be rushed…

At least there's only two more chapters to go before we get on with the plot. (Btw guys, keep your eyes open for Chapters 32-36, that's when stuff is going to get really interesting ^^)

I also need to know something for possible plotting later (maybe much later, don't get excited) *takes deep breath*. Do any of you have severe objections to Ishihime?

Thanks for the reviews all!

I Before A Except After K, thank you! Good job catching that~ Jungetsu is based off Kaguya-hime, so I thought it would be fun to add it in!

HogyokuButterfly, IIRC, Ichigo always kept Hichigo, since Hichigo is actually the true Zangetsu, a combination of his shinigami and Hollow abilities (someone who's more up to date on the manga than I am can help you out on this), while Old Man Zangetsu is actually his Quincy powers. (In this story though, Old Man Zangetsu is Zangetsu, since I'm not changing Ichigo's sword without explanation.) So I don't know how that'll work with your story. Thanks for reading!

Disclaimer: I don't own Bleach. At all.

Chapter 29: Strength in weakness

The Fifth Division was quiet that morning, most of its members having gone with the captain for a training exercise. Masa had been forced to stay behind, on Unohana-taicho's orders that he be kept to desk work for the next week or so. Not that he particularly minded. Kohaku, while awake, had pretty much confined herself to her room in the Third, and if he was away for training, there wouldn't be many people left to look in on her. Not to mention, Ichigo and Hinamori had given him a task that suited his current state—going through Aizen Sosuke's old notes in case there was anything that specifically pertained to Kyoka Suigetsu.

So far, there had been nothing. Even from his notes, Masa could tell that the previous captain had been an extremely guarded man.

He lowered the notebook, looking over at the girl seated next to him. Yuzu sipped at her tea, a distracted frown on her face. There were dark circles under her eyes that told him she hadn't been sleeping, and her face was pale. He wanted to pretend that he didn't know what was upsetting her, but he found that he couldn't do that anymore.

"Yuzu," he said, making her look up. "Are you feeling okay?"

"What?" asked Yuzu. She turned towards him, and he caught the flash of pain in her eyes before an unsteady smile crept onto her face. "Oh, yes, Masa. I'm fine."

"It has to do with Kuchiki-taicho, doesn't it?" he asked.

Yuzu blinked, then the smile slowly faded from her face, her eyes moving down towards her lap. She set down her cup, her fingers curling around the fabric of her hakama. "It's that obvious, isn't it?" she asked, after a while.

"It is to me," said Masa. "Kohaku told me."

He was suddenly glad that the captain wasn't in. He didn't think that Yuzu would talk to him about this if there was a chance Kurosaki Ichigo would overhear. Even as such, he was surprised that Yuzu was talking to him at all. She bit her lip, glancing off to the side and avoiding his gaze.

"How long?" Masa found himself asking.

To her credit, she didn't ask him what she meant, and she didn't lie. Instead, she took a deep breath, probably to settle her nerves. "Ten years," she said, her voice soft. "Maybe more."

Ten years. That meant that Yuzu would have had to have those sort of feelings since their graduation from the Academy—maybe even a little bit before that. He wondered how this had managed to go on so long without any of them noticing. Had he and Karin been so caught up in their own problems that they had completely ignored hers? It hadn't been difficult. Yuzu, he realized, rarely spoke about her own feelings. And she was always smiling…

"Why didn't you tell any of us?" he asked.

"What would you have done if I did?" asked Yuzu.

What would he have done? He would have freaked out, probably, and Karin would have as well. It would have been very loud, and she would have been embarrassed by the end of it. But after he'd calmed down? After he'd had a chance to think about the situation clearly?

"…I would have gone to Ojii-sama," he told Yuzu. "Maybe we could have stopped this whole debacle from happening."

Yuzu slowly shook her head. "I didn't want that," she said. "At least, at the time, I thought I didn't want that. I thought I was content…with just admiring from a distance. I thought…to be in the Sixth, well that was enough. I thought we had such long lives…my feelings would eventually fade. It was just a childish crush, but somehow—." Her breath hitched. "—somehow, I ended up falling in love after all…and now I…I don't understand…"

Tears slowly trickled their way down her cheek, one after another. They fell onto the backs of her hands, and she squeezed her eyes shut against them, turning her face away. She raised one of her hands, wiping them away. "…I'm sorry, Masa," she said, a small smile on her face in spite of the tears. He wondered, as he worked through the knot in his throat, whether Yuzu knew how to stop smiling. He looked away. "I guess I'm still a crybaby after all."

"You're not," he said, his eyes fixed on one of the trees in the courtyard instead of on the crying girl. "You've become strong—no, you've always been. Don't undervalue yourself. You're worth more to me than he is."

Silence fell. Masa waited for a few moments, then looked back over his shoulder to see Yuzu staring at him. He watched as she blinked, wiping at her eyes.

"You know, Masa," she said. "You can be sweet when you want to be."

A flush spread its way onto his face, and he looked away sharply, raising the notebook again. "Sh—shut up," he said. "Of course you would be worth more than some annoying Kuchiki—honestly." He flipped the page with a little more force than he should have, freezing as he heard a giggle.

Yuzu laughed softly into her sleeve, a sound that he hadn't heard since before she left for Inuzuri. He looked up at her from over the top of the notebook, watching as the laugh died down, and she began to wipe the remaining tears from her face.

"It'll be okay," he said, lowering the book again. "We'll think of something. When Karin gets back, and Kohaku gets better. All three of us…well, we'll stand with you. So don't worry about it."

"Thanks, Masa…" she said. "I'll try."

He nodded at her, going back to his reading. Yuzu stared at him for a few more moments before looking up.

"By the way," she said. "I've been meaning to ask. When did you start calling Kohaku-chan by her first name?"

He couldn't quite help the flush that spread over his face at that question.

Iwase Kohaku, fourth seat of the Third Division, sat on her bed, her knees pulled up close to her chest and her arms resting on them. Despite the nice spring weather outside, her shutters were closed, the door to her quarters pulled shut as well. Her quarters were just a little bit messier than usual, a handful of clothes strewn on the floor as if she couldn't be bothered with them. Abarai-taicho and Kira-fukutaicho had given her some time off to recover, but she knew that sooner or later, she'd have to go outside and face the music.

She'd have to face what had happened in Inuzuri—the person she had seen.

Kintaro.

Her hand closed into a fist, wrapping tightly around the white shitagi she was wearing. You're supposed to be dead…she thought, remembering the golden eyed man in Inuzuri. You're supposed to be dead.

She sucked in a breath, her shoulders shaking as she pulled her knees closer to herself.

In a few minutes, she told herself, she'd get up, get dressed, go outside. She'd go back to her desk, see what work had been left of her, and go find the third seat to harass. She'd mess with Kira. Then she'd go over to the Fifth and thank Masa for bringing her here, thank him for not asking questions when she said she wanted to be alone for a while. She'd go over to the Sixth, find Yuzu, and cheer her up. She'd do all this in a few minutes, just as she had been telling herself all morning.

But she couldn't bring herself to get out of bed. Every time she tried, she closed her eyes and remembered Hashinezumi, remembered growing up in that place, remembered the wolf-like girl she had been. Remembered never wanting to be that girl again.

Get up, she told herself, trying to will some motion back into her limbs. Come on, you weakling, get up.

In a few minutes, she promised herself.

Just a few more minutes.

I wanted to destroy you…

You tried, Ongetsu said from beside her. She was seated in the corner of her childhood room, her elbows on her thighs and her hands clasped in front of her as she sat on the old toy chest. The spirit stood next to her, shadows swirling around him, but her eyes were fixed on the girl, the one sitting alone on her bed, her hands around her knees as she ignored her sister's attempts to spoon food into her mouth.

"Karin-chan," Yuzu was saying, sitting on her knees on the bed with one hand on a bowl of soup and the other holding a spoon. "You have to eat, Karin-chan. Ne, ne, Karin-chan, please eat. Please eat, Karin-chan…"

Just watching herself made Karin feel sick.

"It's miso soup," said the younger version of Yuzu, poking at the girl's mouth with the spoon. "Look. I made it just for you…"

You tried to destroy me, said Ongetsu, as the five-year-old version of herself turned her head away. You didn't want to feel anymore. You hated me, because of what I represented to you. And so…you tried to deny me.

By claiming I couldn't see ghosts, said Karin, her eyes still fixed on the girl. She clasped her hands together tighter. I remember.

But you couldn't destroy me, said Ongetsu. Any more than you could destroy the sky. I am a part of your soul. I am you.

Did it hurt?

Did what hurt?

Did it hurt when I tried to deny you?

Well, who knows? asked Ongetsu with a smile, gripping the rabbit tighter. I don't remember.

Somehow, Karin didn't think she believed that. She spared the boy a glance, before looking back at the girl.

...Weakness, pain, regret…you hated all of those things, said Ongetsu, his voice soft. You became afraid to feel. And because you were afraid to feel, you hated yourself. And because you hated yourself, you hated me. You thought, if you could just ignore all your feelings, all your weaknesses, if you could just be strong, then you would never have to feel hurt again. You would never have to feel powerless again. But hiding weakness is not strength, Karin. It's just a game of make-believe.

That's why you kept taunting me, said Karin, staring at the girl. You wanted to show me this.

I wanted to show you how easy it was, to break you, said Ongetsu. But you refused to understand. You can cut down everything that hurts you, but it doesn't make the hurt go away. It just piles up more and more, inside you, inside me, and when your soul can't take any more, what happens then? What will it do to us, Karin? He took a breath, his hands tightening around the rabbit, his shoulders slumping forward slightly. We are…such a fragile soul.

I wanted to see you be strong. I wanted to see you be brave. I gave you the opportunity, so many times. But being loud doesn't make you strong. Being violent doesn't make you brave.

On the inside, you're still the same scared girl that lost her mother on a rainy day. And until you realize that, you will never be strong. You will never recover. You will always be afraid, just like you are now.

You've never even told that person you love him.

Toshiro. Karin sucked in a breath at Ongetsu's words, her hands gripping each other so tightly that they started to shake. For a moment, she could see him in the room with them, standing on the other side of the bed, staring at her. Those bright green eyes that had brought her back to sanity so many times, those hands that had held her. He knew how weak she was, on the inside. He knew everything about her, everything about herself she hated, and he didn't care.

He knows…she said, working past the knot in her throat to speak.

He believes, said Ongetsu. He accepts, because he knows who you are, and he knew what he was getting into. But he doesn't know. There's a difference, Karin.

You've never opened your heart fully. To him. To anyone. Because you yourself don't want to see what's in there.

You're still…afraid of me.

Karin inhaled deeply, her eyes fixed on the girl. Yuzu's tone only got more pleading, her movements more insistent. She'd seen enough, she decided. She knew how this story ended.

She stood up, turning her back just as the younger version of herself let out a shout of anger, violently sweeping one hand out and knocking the bowl into the wall. The sound of shattering ceramic echoed in the small room.

"Just go away, Yuzu!" she heard herself shout, as if from a distance. The shout stabbed at her heart. "Just leave me alone!"

"Karin-chan…"

I've seen enough here, said Karin, turning her back to the scene. She walked out the door, stepping into the hallway. She turned her eyes to the side, where she knew she would find Ongetsu. Show me the next one.

Ongetsu blinked in surprise, his eyes meeting hers. He stared at her for a long moment, then turned his head away to hide a smile. That face looks good on you, Karin-chan. Maybe there is hope for you after all…

He reached up, his hand tentatively closing around hers. The spirit's touch was cold, but Karin didn't pull away. Instead, she let him lead her down the hallway, her hand closing around his as well.

Come on, said Ongetsu. There aren't many more.

Yuzu sighed, walking through one of the shopping districts of Seiretei. She knew that given the current state of emergency, she needed to be at the Sixth, but after talking to Masa, trying to visit Kohaku and being turned away at the door, and then coming back to see her captain and Nishimori Azami in conversation at the gates to the Division, it had been too much for her. She needed to get away, if only for a minute.

Besides, she thought, a frown on her face as she remembered the way Byakuya had looked up from his conversation to see her standing at the end of the street, his eyes meeting hers briefly before looking away, it wasn't as if she was needed anyway. Really, more and more, she'd gotten the sense that Byakuya was looking at her more like a bother than a vice-captain.

She wondered if that was really all she was to him. Another bother.

Yuzu came to a sudden stop, her words from the battle with Kyoka Suigetsu coming back to her.

"A world…where I am not by your side is not reality!"

She squeezed her eyes shut at the memory, shaking her head. At the time, she'd meant every word, but now she just wished that she had never said it at all.

A voice cut through the marketplace, making her open her eyes.

"Oh, come on, Kiri-san, just this once!"

"No," said a stern female voice, "You've already exceeded your credit limit. I can't allow it."

"Please? Come on, I'm a loyal customer!"

Yuzu turned towards the voice. A man stood in front of a sake vendor's stall, holding up a jug with one hand as he tried to negotiate with a stern-looking clerk. He had dark hair, pulled back to a ponytail and falling almost to his waist, and was dressed in a white gi and set of dark green hakama. He wore a sword at his side.

Her eyes widened. "Furutani-sensei?" she asked.

Furutani turned towards her, grinning. He raised the hand holding the jug in a wave. "Osu, Kurosaki!" he said.

Byakuya turned his attention back towards Azami as Yuzu turned and walked back down the street, forcing himself to not think about her. He had already decided, going into this, that he would have to put any thought of his vice-captain out of his mind. If she wanted to leave the Division on her day off, he supposed, it was her right. She knew the regulations. He knew he could trust her not to leave Seireitei, in case she was needed.

He forced himself to consider Azami. He had been neglecting her lately, and he understood that. It was wrong of him to do so.

That would change, he decided. He would not bring dishonor to his clan a second time.

"As I was saying," he said, as if he hadn't seen Kurosaki Yuzu at all. "I apologize for how I've been treating you. I admit to being…somewhat distracted lately."

Azami hesitated, taking a breath. He saw the biting retort form at the back of her mind, saw her make a conscious effort to fight it back down. Instead, she shook her head, glancing away. "It's possible…" she conceded. "…that I may also have been a touch overbearing."

She was trying as well, that much was obvious. He remembered what she had said that first day, about a fresh start. A fresh start would perhaps be best for all of them. One in which he didn't see a pair of brown eyes whenever he closed his own, or heard a voice calling him whenever he turned.

A fresh start.

"Perhaps," he said, meeting Azami's eyes, "it wasn't entirely unwarranted. I know that you still haven't forgiven me for what happened that time, but believe me when I say this, Azami. I am sorry." Not for Hisana, never for Hisana. But for the embarrassment he had caused, for the shame and dishonor he had brought to her house, he would probably always be sorry. Her expression softened, and she looked back at him.

"I know…" she said, taking a breath. "I know you're sorry. Look we were young. We did stupid things. But everyone could see how much you loved her. So…for what it's worth, I hope she made you happy. For whatever time you had with her."

"She was…" Byakuya trailed off.

Sunlight, he had told Kurosaki Yuzu. But that was not something he could share with Azami. It was as if the walls he had placed around the memory of Hisana had returned—the thought of her only brought a stab of pain that made him want to change the subject. It wasn't like it had been in Inuzuri, that day in the rain. That day, talking about Hisana had hurt, but it had been a good pain, as if he was cherishing her memory, instead of reflecting on her loss. He had, for the first time while talking about Hisana, been able to smile. He had wanted to talk about her, to share more, so that someone else would know about the woman she had been.

He had wanted Yuzu to know about the woman she had been…

He shook his head. "Never mind that," he told Azami. "It occurs to me that perhaps we have started this off on the wrong foot. I would like to remedy that. Would you be at all averse to meeting for dinner?"

"Why, Kuchiki Byakuya," Azami smiled, placing a hand on his arm. "Are you asking me out? I never thought I'd see the day."

"I take that to mean that you accept?"

"Of course," said Azami, removing her hand. She relaxed, and for a moment, she looked like the girl he had met before his feelings for Hisana had come to light. It was, he decided, not a bad change. "What time are you free? Since I believe your schedule is busier than mine."

He paused to glance at his Division. "Seven o'clock," he said. "Barring any unforeseen emergencies."

"Seven o'clock," repeated Azami, nodding. "I'll meet you there."

TO BE CONTINUED

A/N: Hashinezumi (走鼠, running rat), is my name for the 67th District of Northern Rukongai, where Kohaku is from.

Omake

Flashback: A Sixth Division Valentine's

Byakuya walked into his office, frowning at the sight of the many brightly colored packages on his desk. While he routinely encouraged the men and women of his Division to fulfill their obligations, he wished that there was one obligation they could ignore, or that celebrating this holiday hadn't come over from the living world in the first place. He considered sweeping the chocolates into a pile to be dealt with later. Perhaps Kusajishi-fukutaicho could dispose of them discreetly for him at some point in time.

"Here you go, Shiyougi-san, Koyanagi-san, Yamagishi-san," said a voice from outside, making him look up. "And here you go, Rikichi-kun."

Kurosaki Yuzu stood just outside the office, at the center of a crowd of male shinigami. She was smiling, a basket of brightly wrapped packages in her hand as she handed them out to the others.

"The fukutaicho's so sweet," he heard one of the men say as he walked away, clutching his obligation-chocolate.

"Yeah, she really is one of a kind," said his companion. "I hear she made all of these herself…"

Byakuya's eyes drifted from the men to Yuzu as she caught sight of him, her smile brightening. She turned, fishing a larger package out of her basket. "Taicho—," she began, turning towards him.

He raised his hand to stop her as she started walking. "Kurosaki, please do not feel obliged," he said. "I don't—."

"—like sweets," Yuzu finished for him, a smile on her face. She held the package out to him anyway. "It's chili dark chocolate. Since I know you like spicy food, taicho."

Byakuya fell silent, accepting the package. He hesitated for a moment, then slid his fingers under the knot, beginning to unwrap it. It felt oddly shaped in his hand—round, and slightly weighty—

He froze as he finished unwrapping it, still holding the bright-colored cloth between his fingers.

The chocolate face of the Seaweed Ambassador stared up at him, one hand upraised. His eyes moved from the chocolate back to Yuzu.

"Happy Valentine's Day, taicho," she said, giving him another smile before turning away.

A few hours later

"Taicho, I'm back!" said Yuzu, stepping into the office. She looked flustered, as if she had been running, but the basket she carried with her was now empty. "Sorry I'm late. I had to go all the way to the Ankoujin Manor, and Ojii-sama was in a meeting, and—Ah! What happened to all the paperwork?"

Her eyes widened, and she took in the sight of her empty desk, the piles of paperwork that she had set aside for today conspicuously missing. Byakuya looked up at her, over the top of the book he was reading. "I have done it, Kurosaki," he said.

Yuzu's face fell, and she turned towards him. "I'm sorry, taicho," she said. "I didn't think I'd be gone that long!"

"No, you misunderstand," said Byakuya, turning his attention back to his book. "There was very little work to do today. I finished my own tasks relatively quickly."

"Then what should I do now?" asked Yuzu.

Byakuya flipped the page, not looking up. "I suppose you could take the rest of the day off. There is nothing else to do here."

"Really?" asked Yuzu. At his nod, her face brightened. "Thank you, taicho!" She gave him a polite bow, running out of the office.

Byakuya waited until she was gone to lift the pile of his own paperwork out from under his desk, setting it in front of him. He picked up a pen, starting to work.

"I saw that~" said Shiyougi, peering at him from the office window.

"Saw what, Shiyougi?"

Shiyougi gave him a sly smirk. "You're blushing, taicho," he said.

Byakuya's glare sent Shiyougi running for cover as he turned towards the paperwork again. He opened his desk drawer, breaking off a small piece of spicy chocolate from the Seaweed Ambassador's arm. He popped the piece into his mouth, beginning to write.

A/N: A friend of mine got me the Color Bleach Plus for my birthday, and after reading in Byakuya's profile that he loves hot and spicy food and hates sweet food, this omake just wrote itself.