Chapter 12 – What Goes Up Must Come Down

The next morning Elmina, Adele, Sara and Titus sat around the breakfast table. The adults and AJ had already cleared out, retreating into Roy's office to discuss something privately. Elmina chewed a mouthful of cereal, staring across the table at her friend with an unenthused expression. Adele had her nose buried in an alchemy book, cereal half eaten and forgotten.

"Do you have to read at the table?" the dark haired girl demanded, slightly exasperated. Adele didn't even twitch, clearly not even hearing the other girl as she was complete absorbed in what she was reading. Elmina rolled her eyes, letting out a resigned sigh. "Great, I've lost her to alchemy yet again. I wonder how many days she'll be gone this time," she muttered.

"She's doing it for you, you little ingrate," Titus commented from the other end of the table, not bothering to look up from the newspaper he was reading. Elmina raised her eyebrows at him.

"Yes, and it's clearly such a chore for her. You can practically see the boredom radiating off her in waves," she retorted dryly. Titus glanced up at the distracted reading girl for a moment, before shifting his gaze to Elmina.

"You should know sarcasm is a terribly unflattering trait," he informed her gravely. She snorted.

"That's rich coming from you," she shot back.

"Yes, but unlike you I possess a charming personality which more than makes up for it," he replied, gaze returning to his article unconcernedly. Elmina's eyes narrowed.

"Ass," she muttered.

"Both of you be civil," Sara ordered from her seat next to Adele.

"It's too early in the morning to be civil," Elmina grumped, "If you were all planning on ignoring me the least you could have done was let me keep sleeping," her tone was reproachful. Even Sara was reading at the table, an alchemy-related periodical sitting in front of her. The older girl snorted.

"It's good for you," she retorted, continuing to read. Elmina rolled her eyes.

"Aren't you going to eat anything?" She demanded. Sara pointed at the mug next to her reading material on the table. Elmina raised an eyebrow. "That's coffee, not food," she pointed out.

"Sara never eats breakfast," Titus said. Elmina frowned.

"That's not healthy. You should get after her about that," she told him disapprovingly. He shot her an unenthused look.

"What am I, her mother?" he demanded.

"Don't flatter yourself. You could never be that scary," Elmina retorted. At this Sara snickered. Even Titus smirked slightly.

"Touché," he murmured, glancing back down at the newspaper. Elmina blinked in surprise. Wow. She'd actually made him smile and say something not insulting. If only that would happen more often… She shook her head at herself. She was hopeless. "Well, you'll all have to excuse me. There's something I need to check," Titus said, rising to his feet and strolling from the room without further explanation. Elmina stared after him for a moment, and then let out a sigh, attention returning to her cereal.

A knock on the front door drew her attention. After a moment it became clear that her remaining companions were too distracted to notice or care. She rolled her eyes, and got to her feet, heading out of the kitchen down the hall to the front door. Pulling it open she let out a gasp of surprise and a grin spread across her face.

"Elior!" she cried, throwing her arms around the young man standing on the porch in an enthusiastic hug, "Save me from my alchemist friends. They're driving me crazy!" she complained vehemently. The young man chuckled, returning the hug.

"What else is new?" he replied, tone amused. She pulled back to look up at him skeptically. He was an inch or two taller than AJ and thin, giving him a somewhat lanky appearance. His dark brown hair framed his face in an unruly mess of curly waves, bangs falling slightly into his warm, brown eyes. His expression was kind, a smile rarely far from his lips.

"What's with you sending Sara off to see us but not coming yourself until now?" she demanded.

"Well I can't just leave at the drop of a hat. I have patients that rely on me. If I go then there needs to be another doctor to take my place," he replied.

"Hmm, guess you have a point. Aren't you working in the military now?" she asked. He nodded.

"I'm assigned to a medical unit at one of the northern outposts. Sara was able to pull some strings and get me a week off. But both Sara and Titus will have to go back with me at the end of it, unless we hear otherwise from our superiors," he explained. Elmina nodded.

"Well I'm sure Sara will be happy to see you. That is, if she'll pull herself away from her alchemy to come say hi," she told him dryly.

"I heard that," Elmina glanced back to see Sara standing in the doorway to the kitchen. The soft smile on the older girl's lips was clearly meant for Elior, not the dark haired girl. Elmina rolled her eyes.

"I'll give you two a minute to catch up," she told them, turning and strolling away down the hall.

She made for the large study that served as the Mustangs' personal library. The odds of finding something there that wasn't alchemy related weren't terribly high, but it was worth a shot. At that moment the door to Roy's office a little farther down the hall opened and AJ stepped out. He appeared deep in thought, a grave expression on his face.

"Hey gear-hermit," she called, "Why the long face?" he glanced up in surprise, then smirked faintly.

"Nothing you need to worry about for now," he replied, strolling down the hall towards her. Elmina's expression grew pouty.

"AJ, I don't like being kept in the dark," she complained. He shook his head.

"You'll find out eventually. Just be patient," he replied.

"That's no fair," she grumbled, glowering at him. He chuckled as he came to a stop in front of her, reaching out to ruffle her hair.

"AJ!" She squawked, slapping his hand away. He grinned.

"You really aren't a morning person," he commented amusedly.

"That's because everyone is so bloody annoying first thing in the morning," she retorted irritably. He shook his head.

"I think you just wake up on the wrong side of the bed," he replied, not at all put off by her waspishness, "You need to learn to drink coffee," he advised. At this she stuck out her tongue in disgust.

"Yuck. No way. If your sister would let me sleep till a decent time I'd be just fine. But no, she has to drag me out of bed at an absurdly early time every morning," she grumbled. AJ smirked.

"Seven in the morning isn't early," he commented blandly.

"Shut up. Yes it is," she muttered. He chuckled.

"Alright grump, I'll leave you be. I need to go give mom a call and let her know how things are going," he told her, strolling away down the hall. She watched him go for a moment before turning back towards the library, fingering combing her hair as she went. After a moment she gave up, letting out a disgusted sigh. Boys!

She pushed the door of the large study open, taking in the sight of the numerous books until her gaze landed on a certain black haired alchemist, seated in one of the chairs across the room with a book. She blew her bangs out of her face in exasperation.

"Oh great. You're here," she muttered. He glanced up at her from his book.

"You could at least try to be pleasant," he commented dryly.

"What's the point? It's not like you'd return the favor," she retorted, turning to one of the bookcases and becoming very occupied with its contents.

"You never know unless you try," he pointed out.

"Pigs might fly," her tone was dismissive. She heard him sigh.

"You paint me as quite the ogre," he said blandly.

"I'm just saying it like it is," she replied. Titus rolled his eyes.

"I take it you're in the dark as well then," he commented, an edge to his voice. She glanced over at him, not quite following the subject change.

"You mean about what AJ and our parents are discussing?" she asked. He nodded. She blinked in surprise. "You don't know what they're talking about? I assumed since AJ was included you would be too," she said.

"Nope," he replied.

"Huh…that's weird. It must burn that your dad will share stuff with AJ and not you," she commented offhandedly, turning back to the bookcase and pulling out a random book. Then she grimaced slightly. That statement had come out harsher than she'd intended it to. She could practically feel the glare he turned on her.

"Whatever. He can keep his secrets. It's not like I give a damn," he retorted flippantly. She raised an eyebrow, flipping through the contents of the book without seeing it.

"Yes you do," she murmured dryly. He snorted but refused to dignify her with a response. Silence reigned in the room for a moment. Finally Titus gave in and broke it.

"The only reason Sara and I haven't been included is because we're state alchemists. Whatever is going on dad doesn't want the military involved," he said. Elmina glanced at him with a frown.

"Then why am I being kept in the dark? I'm not in the military," she pointed out. Titus shrugged.

"I don't know; although, if it's something being kept under wraps then it's not really a surprise. After all, if your new friend shows up and takes over you again then you'd become a big liability if you knew too much," he replied. The dark haired girl's jaw tightened as her thoughts turned to the red haired creature from the previous day. Was that really the reason she was being kept in the dark? The thought really rubbed her the wrong way.

"That creature is not my friend," she replied darkly.

"I see. Pardon my poor choice of words," he replied skeptically.

"What do you know about it anyway?" she demanded, feeling unexpectedly defensive. There was silence for a moment, causing her to glance over at him. He was staring at her with an unreadable expression.

"Let's just say that when I stopped by the hotel the night before last you really weren't yourself," he replied guardedly, gaze returning to his book.

"What do you mean?" she asked, feeling a prick of apprehension.

"Well for one, you seemed extremely happy to see me. It was a little scary actually," he started dryly, not bothering to glance up at her. At this Elmina's cheeks flushed with angry embarrassment. Though he probably hadn't intended it his words stung like a slap.

"I see. My apologies," she replied crisply, shoving the book back onto the shelf and turning to leave.

"Hey," he called after her. She hesitated, glancing back at him. "I wasn't trying to offend you," he told her with a puzzled frown. She bit her lip to keep from snapping at him. She didn't particularly care whether he'd meant it or not. The words still hurt.

"Right," she replied stiffly, turning to push the door open and leave.

The rest of the day passed slowly. Elior was greeted warmly by the other adults when they finally exited Roy's office. It didn't take long for them to catch the young man up on all the events he'd missed. He had a chance to take a look at Alphonse and came to the same conclusion that the doctors at the hospital had. There didn't appear to be anything wrong with him aside from his state of unconsciousness. There wasn't anything that he could do for the older man. When the initial hubbub over his arrival died down Adele got the chance to broach the subject of Elmina's condition and her thoughts on attempting to fix it. The idea fascinated Elior and he promptly demanded a more thorough explanation of things from Elsie. Her husband and daughter sat in on the discussion, as well as Sara and Adele. Elmina listened to the conversation with a growing feeling of disquiet. The disease her mother was describing didn't sound too terribly pleasant. Was she really going to be stuck with those creatures coming after her for the rest of her life? Her only consolation was that Elior seemed fairly confident that they'd be able to come up with a fix for her.

"Don't worry. We'll do everything in our power to figure something out. We should be able to come up with something before I have to leave at the end of the week," he told her, a reassuring confidence in his gaze. He, Sara and Adele agreed they wanted to get started on researching right away.

"Don't bother waiting up for us. We'll be up late and you look exhausted," Adele told her.

But," Elmina began to protest but was cut off.

"Mina, you need your rest," the blonde replied firmly, leaving no room for argument. With a feeling of bemused resignation the dark haired girl headed off to her room. Her friend did have a point. Her entire body felt sore and tired. On the way out of the living room she was stopped by her father. They hadn't had a chance to talk since the previous night of drama.

"How are you feeling?" Envy asked, looking her over critically. There was a concern in his gaze she wasn't used to seeing.

"I'm alright. Just worn out," she replied. He stared at her thoughtfully for a moment.

"How much do you remember from that night?" he asked finally. She blinked.

"Just scrambled bits and pieces. Why?" she demanded warily. What else had she done to embarrass herself while Mania had taken over? He studied her intently for a moment longer before finally nodding. He actually seemed slightly relieved about something. He slid an arm around her shoulders, pulling her into a sideways hug.

"It's nothing you need to worry about. I'm just relieved you're back to normal," he told her frankly, leaning over to kiss the top of her head. She raised her eyebrows at him. Huh. She must have really had him worried. Not that her dad wasn't affectionate, but he tended to be somewhat reserved on that front. "But Mina," he added.

"Yes?" she asked uncertainly.

"If there's a next time, and you can help it, please try to avoid running through traffic," he sounded a little pained. Her eyes widened.

"I was running through traffic?" her voice came out as a squeak. He grimaced and nodded. She stared at him, a little taken aback. No wonder he'd been worried. What had Mania been trying to do? Kill her? What a friggen nutcase.

"Don't worry about it now though. You need your rest," he advised, "I'll talk to you in the morning alright?"

"Kay. Love you," she replied, slipping out from under his arm. Before she could take more than a step he reached out and tousled her hair rather thoroughly.

"Ditto," he smirked, "More than you'll ever know." At this she shot him a reproachful glare, swatting away his hand and attempting to straighten out her mess of dark locks. Sheesh! Maybe Uncle Wrath was right and she should get it all chopped off. Then again, she doubted that would deter anyone from messing up what remained. Unless she went bald. But that would be a little weird.

"Goodnight," she muttered, strolling away down the hall towards her room.

She walked into the room which she shared with Adele, closing the door behind her. A contented sigh escaped her lips. She was really looking forward to crawling into bed and passing out. Her suitcase had been brought from the hotel the day before and was open beside her bed. She made for it, intending to dig out something to wear to bed, but she never got the chance.

"Finally. I thought I'd never get you alone," the sound of a voice behind her caused her to whirl around with a start. She gasped in alarm as she was frozen in place by a pair of entirely black eyes.

"Despair," she breathed. It was the frail looking girl that had been keeping Adele in the underground ballroom. She was leaning against the wall beside the door, arms crossed. It was difficult to read her expression with her alien eyes, but she appeared bored.

"Mania got to have his fun. It's my turn now," the girl informed her flatly. Elmina wavered, utterly taken off guard. No one had known for sure when the black eyed girl would show up, but she hadn't expected her to arrive so soon. Hell, she hadn't even had a chance to recover from Mania yet. She let out a shaky breath, an overwhelming feeling of dread rising in her as she stared into the girl's terrifying gaze. She wanted to cry for help but her throat had closed up on her.

Despair pushed off the wall and sauntered towards her, well aware that her prey was frozen on the spot, unable to escape. Upon reaching Elmina she abruptly reached out and grabbed her by the neck, ragged fingernails digging into the girls flesh as she slammed her forcefully into the wall. Elmina let out a strangled sound of surprise. Despite her frail appearance the girl was strong. A panicky fright rose up inside her. The girl was making Mania's earlier treatment seem practically gentle. Just what was she in for now? It was so frustratingly unfair! She knew how to fight and was more than capable of defending herself. But like Mania, against this girl she was absolutely helpless. She couldn't even move. All the strength in her limbs had drained away and her thoughts were paralyzed by the girl's unrelenting gaze.

"Mania has to be careful with you because you're the only toy he's got. But I've discovered I have a number of hosts available to me in this world. You might be unique, but don't expect special treatment," Despair's tone was hollow. She didn't give Elmina a chance to formulate a response. She leaned forward, bringing her face close to her captive's, then exhaled slowly. The breath which left her lips was like a black mist, flowing across the dark haired teen's skin leaving a cold numbness wherever it touched. Elmina drew in a breath involuntarily and the black air flowed into her lungs. Then she choked. Despair stepped back, releasing her so she could double over coughing.

A horrible feeling ripped through her core. There weren't words to adequately describe it. To say something was crushing the inside of her would be an understatement. It was like acid had been splashed across her soul. Her knees buckled and she collapsed to the floor, arms wrapped tightly about herself as she scrunched her eyes shut against the pain. A whimper escaped her lips. She could feel her energy draining away, being replaced by a heavy exhaustion that made her entire body feel as if it had turned to lead. She'd been tired to begin with, but it was nothing compared to this. This was a painful sort of absolute fatigue, only adding to the misery washing through her. She could barely manage to breathe past the excruciating weight bearing down on her. She heard the girl standing in front of her let out a sigh.

"It's beautiful how easy you are to manipulate after Mania has had his way with you," there was the faintest hint of cold appreciation in the Despair's voice.

You're pathetic.

The coldly accusing words echoed through Elmina's mind. Was that Despair's voice in her head? Or was it just her own inner voice? In any case, she was far too distracted to care.

"I'm leaving, but I won't be far off. Wouldn't want to waste that oh so appetizing suffering of yours," Despair informed her. Then her form flickered and a moment later she disappeared.

Elmina gasped in a breath, a quiet sob rising up in her throat. The agony was overwhelming. She wanted to scream but the effort of drawing enough air into her lungs was too much for her to manage. Never had she experienced emotion to such a painful degree. To say her heart was breaking was laughable. It was like it was being put through a meat grinder. It was in such miserable opposition to the ecstatic euphoria which Mania had imparted. The overflowing feelings and the sparkling beauty of the world had been sucked away in to an aching vacuum of emptiness inside her. A memory flickered through her mind. Her grandmother on the other side of the gate… she'd committed suicide. It was something she'd never been able to understand. How could someone just give up like that? Why would she do that to her daughter? But she was suddenly coming to a painful understanding as to why the woman might have made that choice. Anything was preferable to this agony; anything at all. It wasn't possible for any other emotion to enter in past the pain. It was all consuming.

After a moment she slowly she managed to scramble to her feet, swaying from the crushing exhaustion weighing down her limbs. What was she supposed to do? Get help? How could anyone possibly help her? They were all still trying to figure out a way of doing that at that very moment. There wouldn't be a damn thing they could do. And the thought of having to walk back down the hall and find someone was too much to bear, not to mention her family's reaction... They were all so relieved she was back to normal. Well, so much for that. She turned towards her bed, willing her legs to move her slowly in its direction. Reaching it, she managed to pull back the covers painfully, crawling in under them and pulling them up to hide under. She let out a shuddering breath. She had to survive this. Somehow she had to stay alive. She just had to keep breathing until morning. Adele and Sara and Elior were a brilliant team when working together. Surely to heavens they would be able to figure something out; preferably before she was crushed to death. She clung to that flickering hope, drawing in another shallow breath past the pulsing agony in her core. She just had to survive the night.

-Author's Note-

Depression is such a cheerful topic to write about. *sarcasm* Sadly the next two chapters center on it. I wish I was blowing it out of proportion and cranking up the drama for the sake of entertainment, but...I'm not. :\ They say truth is stranger than fiction. It's true. Setting aside the obvious fantasy elements (personalities, appearances, etc.), I've just drawn on personal experience when it comes to writing about Mania, and more importantly, Despair. It is my sincere hope that by doing this, other people out there who have to personally deal with this stuff can find some sort of...reassurance that they aren't alone. That all of this mental illness crap is possible to survive. And for those of you without mental illnesses, I'm offering you the opportunity to step inside a slightly broken mind and see through the eyes of that person. I hope you find it interesting and not just plain uncomfortable. x'D But most of all I hope you can treat any depressed people you meet/know with compassion. It's a hard condition to comprehend from the outside if you've never personally experienced it, but it can be indescribably painful for those suffering from it. They need your love and support to get through it.

I find it amusingly ironic that as I begin uploading these depressing chapters, Despair is currently paying me a personal visit because Mania spent the previous month pestering me. It's terribly fitting lol. The joys of being bipolar… *bemused*

Anyway, I'll leave it at that for now since I'll be making more comments in later chapters.

I realize this chapter and the previous one were rather slow. But trust me, later chapters make up for it. That's all I can say lol.