A/N: Okay people, calm down, I know what you all mean, and trust me when I say I share most of your opinions about Raven, X, etc … and I thank you for giving my story a shot, but I can't just jump straight into the romance and gushiness. I got a thing for non-developing stories like that and I just can't see Raven being the type to fall so head over heels in love as easily as say Starfire. So, allow me to apologize in advance and say that it's gonna be a slow start for her and X, of course there are hints and little snips of "Awww"-inspiring moments, but I just wanted to try something different this time.

So I won't be surprised or hurt if you don't like what turns up in this chapter, but it has to happen for everything else to fall into place.

With that said, I'll shut up now …

--

Long Road to Ruin

Malchior

Six months is a long time.

A lot can happen in six months.

Surprisingly, I became really close to the infamous Red X in six months, despite still not knowing a single thing about each other we still managed to become close. A little too close. Anyone else on the outside looking in observing how we interact with each other one would think we were a couple. In a way we were a couple, just a couple of people looking to find some company in this miserable existence we both live in.

Sad to say, but my increasing dissatisfaction with my teammates and my position as a Titan had grown even worse, from numbly and passively going through the mundane day-by-day routine to outright rebellion. Now I find myself picking fights just for the excuse to get out and away from them … maybe I want to be kicked off the team … maybe I'm tired of being a hero and tired of the responsibility. I don't know … I sighed heavily and closed my eyes, but then snapped them back open when the small crowd around me erupted in cheers, whistles, and hollers.

A crowd that has grown since the start of the street-basketball game concerning X, a few of his street friends, and some other rival team came together to settle a dispute over the black-top in the middle of an abandoned lot that had been turned into a court. Needless to say, the game turned into an all out battle with me stuck in the bleachers watching the sweat glisten off of a good handful of good-looking men in nothing but their shorts and shoes playing hard to win bragging rights. So as a female I will say that I am not above drooling, especially when these guys were making it hard not to watch how their muscles moved and rolled under their flesh.

It was a sight for sore-eyes … and apparently X had won the game, hence the reason for the cheering.

He was lifted onto the shoulders of the crowd who picked him up as I stood up on the bleachers watching everyone cheer him on while the losing team stomped off pouting with a bad taste in their mouths. While they celebrated I walked over to the bench where X dropped his shirt and his towel and I picked up both of them in my hands patiently waiting for him to squeeze through the crowd to finally stand before me. Breathless, but with the biggest, cheekiest smile on his face he opened his arms and shrugged, "What? No hug?"

I rolled my eyes and tossed his towel to his face, "You're sweating, and you stink, I don't think so."

He snorted as he wiped his face, "Like you're miss roses."

I ignored the retort when I noticed his friends on the other side of the court were watching us curiously, I fingered the hem of his shirt and when he pulled the towel from his face to stare at me I discreetly gestured to his friends, "I think they want to celebrate with you."

He blinked then glanced over his shoulder at them, one of the gentlemen shrugged as if asking what the deal was, probably more so wondering who I was than if he was going to join them for a celebratory drink. X just waved them goodbye while he said to me, "Eh, they can get on without me …"

From where I stood watching his friends through my eyelashes I saw them rolling their heads, scoffing, and snickering as if they knew what the deal was between us when they hadn't a clue. I even knew for a fact that they didn't know X was Red X, to them he was just another average guy that was cool to hang with, and in truth X was alright … he wasn't all-bad all the time. Granted he can be a real ass and acted like he knew everything under the sun, but it was still interesting to be around him. To hear what he had to say and slowly come to understand what he was all about. I paid close attention, and in turn I felt his attention was solely fixated on me whenever I spoke.

I don't know what it is about myself that fascinated him so much, but I could feel it every time I spoke to him. His entire aura was focused on me and only me … and though most girls in my position would be flattered at the attention, I was more focused on his motives. Yes, even now, we still haven't exactly established a solid trust between the two of us, we were still wary of the other's intentions, but we still come back to each other.

It was like an addiction.

We know its bad for us, but we can't help it.

Every day we're together, we need just a little more time than the last to ourselves.

I don't know what it is that draws us together, but I'll find out soon enough.

In the meantime, he took his maroonish-brown shirt from my hands and slipped it on, then with a grin and a jerk of his head he gestured for me to follow him out of the court and onto the sidewalk. I did and as we walked down the same street I once walked by myself with no real sense of direction; I still had no direction, but this time I was with my partner in crime. For the pass six months we've never strayed away from this neighborhood … I don't know why, but every time we just felt like walking we'd never pass the crosswalk into the next street.

We were confined to this neighborhood, but we weren't prisoner to it.

Not to say we liked this neighborhood either, no, it was pretty much a dump, a place no one in there right mind would want to take a casual stroll in. With the occasional rundown apartment complex, closed down small businesses, small mom n'pop shops, dark alleys, dangerous backstreets, graffiti murals, trash here and there. It was Jump City down to the nitty-gritty, but the best part (and I think this is why we were hesitant to drift away from here) it was far enough away from Titan Tower that there would be no reason for the other Titans to come snooping around.

Perfectly safe for me to cruise without the worry of a friend recognizing me, I could rest easy knowing no one here would bother to ask about my attendance or about my acquaintance. An acquaintance, who, without asking lead me into a café (not the one with the same waitress thank the gods) and gestured for me to sit at a table for two. He took the seat across from me and in a matter of minutes a young waitress came to our table to get our drinks.

He ordered a cherry-cola, I ordered an unsweetened tea.

Perkily she took down our orders and went off to retrieve them, only when she was finally out of earshot did I prop my elbows on the table, and weaved my fingers together to prop my chin on them. I looked at X and said quietly, "You seemed to have enjoyed yourself today …"

He snickered and leaned back on his chair, "Yeah, but I'm easy to entertain, you on the other hand are a little harder to please."

"Watching you play a little contact-sport isn't exactly my idea of a grand ol'time."

"Considering it's you, I wouldn't think so either."

For a split second the corner of my left brow twitched in annoyance at his offhanded-comment. Whether or not he caught the motion didn't matter to me, what did matter to me however was that nasty part of his arrogant personality that gave him the audacity to act like he knew everything under the sun. Everything including me, it was cute when we first started and we would banter back and forth about what makes us the way we are. But now … I inwardly shook my head while I slid off the table to lean against my chair to stare off into space … now I just felt uncomfortable with all his offhanded jibes and witty-remarks about me.

It made me wonder … was I that easy to read?

Even my teammates seem to predict with great accuracy what will and won't set me off, but then I brushed it away as having made ourselves familiar with one another. Yet, sitting here with X made me ponder the thought that maybe I wasn't that hard to understand … maybe … maybe I am easy to read. I closed my eyes and turned away from the waitress when she returned with our drinks.

She asked if we wanted anything else and I shook my head, X dismissed her without ordering either and instead took his cola with his straw and sucked down the carbonated beverage. I didn't bother to touch my iced-tea, and I suppose in seeing this X snapped his fingers at me to gain my attention, I only glared at him at the corner of my eye as he nodded his head in concern, "What's with you? You've been moody since you arrived at the game, what's wrong?"

He didn't care.

I knew he didn't.

He knew he didn't.

He was just curious; we both were when we started to ask what the problem was when the other arrived with long-faces. It was curiosity talking, not concern, and since we knew that was how it would be between us I shrugged and replied drily, "I'm not moody just a little zoned-out, there's a difference … and nothings wrong, just got a lot on my mind."

"You're teammates again?"

"Partially."

"Ah …"

He left it at that knowing that if the topic was my teammates he shouldn't be asking about it. So he took another sip of his soda and I finally reached for my tea, I took a sip and when I put the glass back down I looked up at X to find him staring at me with that sneaky grin of his on his face. I frowned and dared to ask, "What?"

He snickered and shook his head, his amber eyes glinting dangerously and I knew, from the six months we've been seeing each other that that look meant trouble … for me. He leaned on the table his grin getting bigger as he said, "You know … this question has been bugging the hell out of me since I saw that news reel of you and kid-wonder a while back."

I blinked then sneered, "You mean the clip of when Robin tripped on me after Terra stupidly started flinging mud at Overload?"

He almost outright laughed in my face while his eyes light up like fireballs, "Okay, you and me both know that wasn't just any fall, the whole town won't shut the hell up about you and him being a couple, so –"

"No."

"Huh?"

"I'm answering your question, no."

"You don't even know what I was going to ask."

I sighed heavily and rolled my eyes, "You were going to ask if we were seeing each other, weren't you?"

"Uh … no, actually, I wasn't … I know you're not seeing him otherwise you won't be seeing me now, common sense ya know."

There he goes again with that arrogant I-know-everything tone, I scowled, "How is that common sense? What's your basis for that argument?"

He looked me dead in the eyes and answered in one word, "Guilt."

"So if I'm Robin's girlfriend I can't see you because it would make me feel guilty?"

"No, the act of seeing me behind his back won't make you feel guilty – it will make you guilty in law by association, but that's beside the point – however the knowledge of who I really am will drive you crazy."

I scoffed and sat back in my chair, "Yeah … you know me soo well."

He frowned in protest, "What's that suppose to mean?"

"Never mind …" I was getting irritated, but I didn't want to fight with X. Not now at least … I still needed him as my partner for this crazy game I'm playing, so I dropped the subject altogether and returned to his question, "… you were going to ask me something?"

He stared at me for a moment longer as if debating on whether or not it was worth continuing the argument. It didn't take him long to reach a conclusion, in defeat he huffed and shrugged before picking up where he left off, "Well I was gonna ask if you were still a virgin just to get a rise out of you, but seeing as you're not even in the conversing mood, well you just took the fun out of everything."

I blinked and just stared at the thief with narrowed eyes while he shrugged dismissively and took another drink of his cola as if the topic of my virginity was nothing more than just another topic of conversation. Sometimes I wondered if X really does have no shame whatsoever in being brutally-honest and often times rudely straightforward … it was refreshing yes, but sometimes he can be downright nasty. Of course, it wasn't something that shocked or disgusted me, not even embarrassed me.

I honestly expected him to ask me this question sooner or later after he inquired about my relationship with Malchior. Apparently, with the brief period he had been in the Brotherhood of Evil along side the dragon the two had hit it off and become each others' ace-in-the-hole if the other should slip into a jam. In fact, it was through X did I learn how Malchior escaped the Herald's Domain. X assured me Malchior was nothing to worry about, that he was helping the dragon stay off the Titans' radar for good … but I knew better … I knew so much better.

X was watching my reaction closely when I finally looked away from him to stare at the table in consideration, should I tell him the truth? He'll be the only person to know … was he the right person to know? What harm will it do me if he knew that I wasn't … will he be shocked? I scoffed inwardly at the thought; of course he'd be shocked! It was just a question to get a rise out of me like he said, he won't expect a straight answer, so I blinked and looked him dead in the eye to give him what he wanted, "No …"

As predicted his eyes slowly widened in shock and the hinges on his lower jaw slackened till he was staring at me agape like a suffocating-fish. He quickly shook the look off his face and glanced around us as if to be sure no one was listening in; I sat up and crossed my legs under the table while he leaned forward and whispered, "You serious?"

I sneered, "When have I ever told a joke?"

He snorted, "It's never too late to start …" he tilted his head and asked, "So who is it?"

"Who's what?"

X smirked, "It's Robin isn't it …"

I rolled my eyes and took out my wallet; I put the money on the table to pay for both of our drinks and stood up. With my hand still on the money I leaned on the table and loomed over X with a bored look on my face I whispered, "Have an original thought."

I headed out of the café with a tiny smirk on my lips when I heard X curse after he stubbed his foot on the booth coming after me. I gently pushed on the glass door and casually strolled down the dark sidewalk waiting for X to catch up; it didn't take him long before he was by my side. With a hand on my arm he stopped me and forced me to turn and look at him, I did with a tired sigh, but since we were under the street-lamp I leaned lazily on the pole and glared at him as he stared at me in fascination, "If it's not Robin than who is it, I always thought you two were close … was I wrong?"

"No, we are close … just not that close."

"Well don't leave me hangin' here sunshine, who is it?"

"Why do you need to know so bad?"

"Because whoever he is you're still not with him, and I always pegged you to be the one-time, one-guy, set for life kind of girl. If you're telling me otherwise, then yeah, I'm kinda curious who the bastard is."

I frowned and tilted my head, "Bastard? Why would you call him that?"

He rolled his eyes and he only does that when he's getting impatient, "Because he has to be if you left him, what did he do? Cheat on you? Use you? What? Come on, this is news I gotta know."

"You don't gotta know anything," I crossed my arms over my chest and made myself comfortable on the lamppost with a heavy sigh, "but if you insist … he was a bastard, probably still is, to him I was a means to an end and I understood that perfectly … but it wasn't because of something he did are we not together, I just knew we didn't have that fairytale romance like Robin and Starfire do. He was attracted me, and I was likewise to him, heat of the moment kind of thing … the next morning I told him to leave … but I regret nothing."

Of course I left out a few minor details, like how he came to my room with the intent on finishing me off and he nearly came close … I could still feel the rage he had against me for twice having sealed him away for life. I was in my private shower at the time when he rushed me and slammed me against the tiled wall with the intent of snapping my neck like a toothpick. I could still see the fire in his blood-red eyes boring holes into my heart, he really wanted me dead … but for one reason or the other … he couldn't do it.

He couldn't kill me … I remember asking him why as he sank to my tub-floor and let my shower drown him in his pathetic despair. I turned off the water and stood naked as the day I was born before him, confused and in a daze, I didn't know what to do when he got on his knees and pulled me into a tight hug. He buried his face into my bare-stomach and it was in that moment did I understand why he couldn't kill me … I was the only woman who had ever stood up to him. Who had dared to fight against him and win, twice. To him, I was the only thing he'll ever get close to an equal in this millennia where he was now truly alone … the only dragon alive … and he couldn't destroy what he considered to be a rare-gem, he was greedy like I that I suppose.

I had tried to pry him off of me, but when I leaned down to tell him to let me go he pulled me into a rough kiss that I remembered had left my lips swollen and red … and had me wanting more.

I could barely delve into the hotter-details of the memory when X shifted his weight from one leg to the other patiently waiting for me to come back from the past. I sighed heavily and pushed off the lamppost to continue walking down the street, "It was the night before my eighteenth birthday about two months after you freed Malchior …"

I let him come to the conclusion on his own, and he did so without skipping a beat, "So … Malchior was your first huh … now that's interesting … why didn't you guys go all the way? You know, little house on the hill with the white picket fence, a dog, a cat, two kids, the whole nine-yards."

"Because it just didn't work out that way. I don't love him."

He stopped to just stare at me, I took a few steps before I turned to face him and I was hit with a strong sense of déjà vu when I could barely make out his features in the shadow of the night, but I could hear him perfectly, "But how do you know he doesn't love you?"

I frowned and shook my head, "He doesn't."

"You don't know that … you don't know what he's feeling if you've never asked … for all you know you could be the only girl for him, the rest of the world can burn in hell if they say otherwise."

"Hold on, so you're saying I passed up a good opportunity and I should have gone the whole nine-yards with him?"

"No, what I'm saying is you shouldn't be so quick to say that things won't work out the way you think they would … despite what you may think life isn't out to get you, no one get's the fairytale ending, no one is that lucky." I made out his figure shrugging in the darkness just before he walked up to me and his face was once again clear to see as well as his infamous cocky smirk that I felt was meant just for me and no one else. It was an odd feeling that I didn't expect, so I brushed it aside as he wrapped his arm around my shoulders and pulled me in close.

He's done it to me before, and I've continually allowed it, why? I don't know, but at least he wasn't groping me, instead he said softly, "And I'm glad you didn't decide to stick with Mal, otherwise it'll mean I'd be … all by my-self, don't wanna be, all by my-self –!"

I smacked his chest to stop him from singing that damn song (even though he did have a pretty good singing voice); he laughed and pulled his arm from me to shrug, "What? It's a nice song."

"I never said it wasn't, I just don't want you singing it."

"Touché."

He chuckled a bit more and I managed to crack a small smile before my communicator went off (I've been taking it with me since I've been purposefully leaving the Tower frequently). X's smirk didn't falter, even when I pushed him away from me to flip open the com-link to see Robin's masked eyes glaring at me through the tiny screen, "Raven here go a head."

Robin's narrowed mask darkened suspiciously, "Where've you been? You just stormed off after I broke you and Terra apart; I wanted to talk to you."

"I needed some air to breath."

"Did you get it?"

"Was that a question, or are you trying to make a point."

"What's with the attitude?"

"I was just asking."

"Raven … come back to the Tower, we really need to talk, just you and me. Meet me at the roof in five, got it?"

"Copy." He winked off the screen and I snapped it shut.

Behind me X whistled long and low, "Wow … I don't know what's going on in that Tower of yours … but damn can I feel the tension from here."

He made a chopping motion with his right hand to signify the butter-knife he'd use to slice through the tension between Robin and me. I scowled and clipped the T-com back on my belt as I hissed, "Shut-up."

He ignored my snappiness and instead chuckled mockingly, "You really need a vacation … but in any case, see ya when I see ya."

"Tomorrow night?"

"Eh …" he rubbed the back of his head in thought, then shook his head, "Judging by the way your boy sounded I say we should lay low for about a week or two … feh, I don't know, like I said I'll see ya when I see ya …"

I frowned and wasn't too happy with his reply, but he had a point … he still had a life to protect, his own, and if Robin started sniffing too close it'll be the abrupt end of our little rendezvous. Better to play it safe and sever all contact for a while … I could survive for two weeks without him to talk to … right? I sighed and refrained from pouting and blaming life for not being fair, being childish wasn't going to do me any good. So I slipped on my big-girl panties, sucked it up and prepared to leave, but closed my eyes and relished in the warm of X's hand when he pressed it against the side of my face.

I looked up at him to find him towering over me effortlessly, he was a foot taller than me after all, and it seemed no matter the occasion his face would always have that permanent smirk on his lips. Lips that pressed against the top of my head in a soft, lingering good-bye kiss he'd give me whenever given the chance. He then pulled away and winked before he turned his back on me with his signature two finger salute he bid me ado.

That was one of the few things I liked about X … he wasn't one for long goodbyes.

He even told me so himself.

--

Disclaimer: (I FORGOT TO PUT THIS IN THE FIRST CHAPTER!!!) I don't own the Teen Titans, never did, never will, so do NOT try to call me on it, cuz the fact of knowing hurts enough as it is, leave me to my fantasies darn you DX!! BTW, the song X was singing isn't mine either, it's "All By Myself" by Eric Carmen, a really nice song I don't own.

A/N: (Bracing for the onslaught), Don't … hurt me … like I said, all will fall into place later, you're just gonna have to trust me on this. Okay, the usual, feedback, questions, I am available so don't be shy …

L8er daez