Long Road to Ruin

All or Nothing

It took my friends three Tameranian days to get to Tameran which is four Earthen days to get to Earth. So by the time we finally arrived it was dark, and the full-moon shone down over the brightly lit Jump City and our giant T-shaped Tower blindingly glowing in the dark of the night lit our way home. From then it didn't take us long to land and wait to park the T-ship in the subbasement where we finally off-boarded and discovered that somewhere along the trip X had conked out. Starfire almost immediately went into panic mode and nearly freaked-out falsely thinking that something bad had happened, when really all he did was fall asleep, dead asleep.

It took Beast Boy screaming into his ear for him to wake up with a jolt, yet that jolt earned Beast Boy a good kick in the face when the shock of not knowing where he was jumpstarted his adrenaline and he was on full alert. It took his brain a couple of seconds to catch up with his body's reaction time and he finally recognized the people around him, but he only seemed to catch his breath when he saw me. He then shook his head and grunted then lolled it back against his seat, "Ah … shit …" he sighed tiredly and then sat back up and looked down at Beast Boy with a cringe when he saw the red mark on his lower jaw and the bewildered look on his face, "Oh shit, I'm so sorry man."

Beast Boy picked himself off the floor and shook his head while he rubbed his jaw and chuckled, "Nah, it's okay dude, I should have known better … but hey, at least we know you got fast reflexes."

"You always got a joke for everything?"

"Always dude."

X arched a brow at the response, but otherwise let it be as he sighed heavily and picked himself up off the seat and wobbly stood on his feet, Starfire was at his side a hand on his shoulder her bright green eyes staring at him worriedly, "Are you injured? Do you require medical attention?"

X smiled and chuckled handsomely, "I'll be fine, really, I'm just … just really tired is all."

"You and everybody else," I spoke up, he shot me a curious look and I all but ignored him as I turned my back on the group to head for my room, "I'll be in my room and unless the world is coming to an end right this second, no one disturb me."

I didn't bother to walk, I didn't even bother to look back and make sure X would be okay surrounded by a bunch of Titans. I knew he'd be okay; he's survived for this long by himself I'm sure he can get through one night's worth of bullshitting without blowing his or my cover, I don't think he's that stupid. So I phased into my dark, freezing-cold, uninviting room that was all my own, my sanctuary, my place of peace, and the one last place I called home besides Azarath.

I sighed heavily as I unbuckled the belt that held the dark-blue cloak I was still wearing together and let it slip to the floor as I headed for my private bathroom. I needed this shower sooo bad, and I wasted no time in getting the hot water ready just before I stepped in and let the heat wash over me like a flood of comfort that soothed my muscle pains and body aches away. All in all, it felt really, really good to finally feel soap-suds clean the filth off of my body and the familiar scent of my shampoo and condition lathered into my oily-built-up hair.

Yes, despite the fact I have an extreme distaste for most feminine care products and I may rebel against the ideal look of what a woman should be in America I was still a girl and I cannot deny that fact. Don't get me wrong, I'm not a raging radical-feminist who thinks all men are pigs. No, being a girl is just one of the many list of things I hate about myself because of all the immediate stigmas that follow after being reminded of one's gender. 'Fairer-sex' my ass, whatever person made that stupid term up should be shot in the head and thrown over a cliff, honestly, just because I look weak does not always mean I am.

And anyone who knows me well enough knows I can take care of myself very well thank you very much.

I sucked in another deep breath when I turned the hot water off and slowly, lethargically started to dry myself off and trudge almost in a zombie-like manner to my dresser for some clothes to wear. I didn't even bother to check if anything matched, all I knew was I slipped on a shirt, a comfortable pair of shorts, and just as I levitated off the ground to gently float onto my large silky-smooth bed, my damn door knocked. Well, the person on the other side knocked on the door, but the point is someone was disturbing me after I had just made it painstakingly clear I didn't want any disturbances whatsoever.

I scowled at my door and waited for the person to go away.

Three minutes passed and they didn't, instead the knock returned, but this time more urgently.

Knock! Knock! Knock!

If it's X, I'll kill him myself, I snarled in my head as I floated across my room and slammed the palm of my hand on the manual control panel which slid the door all the way open and revealed – not to my surprise – X. Only, before I could chew him out for bothering me, I noticed he was not only wearing Robin's clothes … but he was wet … his hair was dripping wet at least. I couldn't help it, I stated the obvious with a sneer, "You're wet."

He responded in kind with a dry shrug, "You're not, now let me in."

The urge to slam my door in his face overcame me and I nearly did, but reason stopped me and as I moved out of the way to allow him entrance I said, "Rude much."

"Eh, you know me."

"Not as much as I'd like to," I finally slid my door shut and leaned on it with an arched brow as I crossed my arms over my chest trying to figure out why he wanted to see me. He wasn't eager, nor was he aroused (I still remembered our conversation prior to Blackfire's reentry into Tameran), he seemed to be calm, cool, collected and very sure about something.

With my eyes still narrowed on him he quit glancing around my room to stare at me and scoff, "Quit trying to read my aura, it's getting annoying."

My sneer darkened, "Well you're not getting to the point fast enough … and where are the others, I thought –"

"Sleeping, their biological clocks were ticking and so after General No-Fun showed me to a spare room where I could crash for the night he marched off to Dream Land."

"Alright … so what do you want?"

"To talk," His amber eyes locked on me and held me in their intense gaze, I would say it made me feel like I was interacting with Robin, but I knew how X felt about being compared to him so I kept my mouth shut and let him take the lead. Not every day do X and I have a serious one-on-one, but I knew whatever he had to say would be nothing less than interesting, he started with a simple, "You're right."

I blinked and egged him on, "About …?"

"We know enough about one another to destroy each other …" he paused after he quoted me on the discussion we had before getting abducted by aliens, it actually caught me off guard, I didn't think he'd remember it. I barely remembered it even now, yet he stood there, in the middle of my room with a thoughtful, yet slightly frustrated look on his face while he ran his fingers through his wet and tangled hair. He then had that screw-it look come over his face as he huffed in exasperation and looked to me, almost pleading for me to understand him, "… you have no idea how much I want to make you worth my while."

I titled my head and arched a brow while the corner of my lip turned up ever so slightly in a hidden smirk of amusement that I knew he could see, Blunt, rude, and nasty … typical … I thought without flinching in disgust. Even X cracked a sadistic smile when he actually thought about the words he used and then shook his head to make sure he stayed on track, that was another thing that impressed me about X, he had a good recovery rate, "But anyway … in saying that, I know you'll understand when I tell you we can't go through with it …"

I blinked slowly, but stayed leaning on my door while I asked in an emotionless, leveled, monotonous voice, "Why the sudden change of heart?"

He hissed and shrugged, "Eehh … not so much as a change of heart as a change of mind, a friend of mine I was with, we pretty much struck up the same agreement, but then things got a little too sticky for my tastes," he smirked at the innuendo, and I rolled my eyes, "she got it in her head that we were in love … do not ask me why, because I don't know. The point is our situation is bad enough as it is, we do anything to off-set this tight-rope act we're performing, we'll both be in for more trouble than it's worth."

Again, I titled my head, but this time to the other side, "Wow … you've outdone yourself, you've actually given me a rational argument complete with facts, examples, and warnings, bravo." I mockingly clapped my hands slowly as I pushed of my door and approached him, "I'd give you a kiss, but then that'll be overstepping the boundaries wouldn't it?"

He smirked and shrugged, "A kiss is a kiss, it doesn't mean anything in my book."

I shook my head, "A kiss is foreplay depending on how it's done."

He snorted his smirk growing to his trademark smug grin, "We can sit here all night debating on what's foreplay or not, but I'll just leave that to your imagination …" He watched me saunter pass him towards my bed, and no I was not giving him ideas (although I don't think I need to assist him in whatever ideas he was cooking up in that twisted little head of his) I was getting ready to sleep. Yet, as I pulled my blanket down to slide into the comfort of my bed, X spoke up, but his tone was sullen, and his grin completely gone from his face when I looked up to give him my attention, "Rae … we should also stop seeing each other altogether."

I froze while something inside me screamed in horror as I narrowed my eyes and shot him a questioning glare, "Why?"

He sucked in a deep breath and sighed heavily, "Because you know we can't keep this up, not with how close your friends are sniffing and Robin is sniffing too close. Better just to end it now, than to end it violently later on …"

I don't believe this … every word … almost every word that came out of his mouth was something I had thought of before the Tameran-fiasco, as a matter of fact that's exactly what I was thinking we should have done the moment X landed in the Titan Med-Bay. So why did I feel like I was losing him … why did I feel like I was betrayed again? Simple, I've become selfish, X, whether he knew it or not had become an essential part of my being. I needed him to help myself get through the months without going completely insane when this mundane heroism business began tearing me apart.

I knew it was my duty, my fate, and my obligation to defend the innocent people of this world, but the things I've seen … the mental challenges I've faced. They had somehow found a hole in my frozen exterior and began eating away at my soul like a cancer. I was drowning in black and white … I needed color … I needed obscurity … I can't live like Robin does. I can't find solace in order … I needed chaos … I needed to know there was more than just stopping the bad-guy.

I needed a lot of things, but to full fill most of those needs I had to have X with me.

He was making me feel desperate; like I had to run across my room to grab a hold of him to be sure he wasn't just a dream all this time. I don't think I can do so well in reality if everything we've been through, and everything we've said was nothing but a figment of my imagination. That thought in and of itself was scary, and I clutched my sheets to get a grip of myself and get myself back together. Now wasn't the time to be pathetic! Sure, I told myself I had enough time to be pathetic when I got back to Earth, but not when losing X was now on the line.

The question in my mind that would not leave me was: Why? Why now was he being so cautious … as far as I've known Red X the criminal, he had never been cautious. He had Robin beat when it came to being reckless, especially when he was after something more valuable than most people's lives. I blinked, Wait a minute … I trailed as a sudden thought hit me after Robin's name chimed in my head and I nearly slapped myself for panicking!

My narrowed eyes turned into a dark look of irritation, "You're not doing this for the benefit of the whole …" I scowled when he straightened up and I saw it in this posture, he knew he was busted, "… You're doing this for yourself. You're scared of being caught."

He frowned and matched my look of irritation with one of his own, "Yeah, so, it's not a crime to protect one's self."

"But you were lying about it," I challenged as I let go of my sheets and took a step closer to him, "Now why bother lie about it when you could have just told me straight to my face?"

"Does it even matter anymore? The facts are facts, you know I'm right."

"I don't care about the facts; I want to know why you bothered to lie …?" I was now only two steps way from getting in his face when I felt his aura fluctuate, shift, change and flashed an emotion he was hiding. It actually shocked me for a second to realize so late in this game that he knew how to mask his emotions from my aura readings! I began to second guess everything I've ever thought about him when Blackfire suddenly popped into my head, was it possible that everything about him was all a front? My eyes narrowed again and I closed the gape between us, but he stepped back to keep the distance and so I demanded, "What are you hiding?"

"Nothing!" He snapped back with fiery amber eyes that sparked with fury when I started to push on a subject he obviously did not want me knowing about. I opened my mouth to protest and to try and squeeze the information from him, but he shook his head and stomped to my door to make his hasty retreat while muttering, "Screw it. I should have never said anything."

I didn't stop him.

Didn't try to … I was still a little too dumbfounded and confused on all different levels to chase him down and force more answers out of him when I didn't even know the proper questions to ask. I growled and then threw myself face first on my bed, with my head buried in one of my pillows I huffed and turned on my side so I was glaring out my window to the bright city, cursing it while my mind raced unable to catch any sleep because of X. I couldn't stop thinking if I tried … I couldn't stop wondering … pondering … guessing … assuming everything and anything, nothing and some things.

Like I said, I didn't get any sleep that night.

And I blame him for it.

--

The next morning came with an interesting surprise …

When I went down to join my friends and X for breakfast, mentally prepared for the day and whatnot I came to discover that X was not with the rest of the group who all gathered around the breakfast table eating their desired meals. Beast Boy and his tofu, Terra sharing whatever disgusting concoction Starfire brewed in her pot, Robin and his well balanced meal, Cyborg and his proteins, but X was not anywhere else in the Ops Room. I decided not to say anything until I gathered my herbal tea and someone else addressed my presence, which just so happened to be Terra, "Mornin' Raven, you look … better than yesterday."

"Meditation, and herbal tea," was all I said as I set my kettle of water on the gas-stove, then turned around, leaned on the counter and asked with an arched brow, "Where's Drayton?"

Robin answered that while he brought his coffee to his lips for a sip, "Cyborg dropped him home earlier."

He left … I blinked at the realization that he didn't just leave the Tower, he left me behind … and I didn't get it till now that everything he said last night was an attempt to say goodbye. Whether or not I wanted him to go, it didn't matter. He planned to leave me even without consulting me … so why bother to consult me to begin with? I didn't know if I was mad, sad, or hurt … all I knew was the fact that I was annoyed. Ever since we were abducted he's been confusing the hell out of me, I really don't get what his problem was, it didn't make sense why he would want to stop seeing me.

In a matter of a few seconds all this raced in my head, but I managed to keep a clear expression to say and shrug, "Good for him."

Robin chuckled, "Don't celebrate just yet; I made sure he'd be back later tonight to showcase his skills."

I frowned, "You're actually considering making him a part of the team?"

"Not really, I'm just curious … unless you have something to add about him, was he any good on the field?"

Oh, Smart-One was putting me on the spot and I saw it coming a mile away, I knew he suspected something else was brewing beneath the surface and he needed to see X and I interact with each other in order to understand our relationship. As a matter of fact, I felt like I had been set up … I never asked where X's room was located, but if he knew where my room was that meant Robin must have walked passed my room to get to his. Meaning Robin was expecting X to come to my room and again I felt panic rise when I realized I never checked my room for bugs … the Titans may all be friends, but trust was still an issue between Robin and myself.

We didn't trust easily to begin with, and we were finding it harder and harder to trust in each other recently.

Who's to say Robin didn't bug my room?

As a matter of fact, with how sketchy things have been, I wouldn't put it passed him.

I sucked in a deep breath and pretended to think over Robin's question, then I tipped my head to the side and shrugged, "He was good enough to not be a nuisance."

"So he can hold his own?"

"I suppose."

With that, Robin dropped the subject and life went on, I made my tea and locked myself up in my room for the rest of the day like I usually did. Within my room I sat on my chair in front of my dresser and set my mug down, the smoky steam emanating from the cup reflected off the large mirror surface beside my face. I stared at my reflection for a bit then sighed heavily and reached for the book I had been reading before I was abducted by aliens, I turned to the page I was on last and distracted myself from a world that would not leave me alone. Before I knew it the Titan alert siren went off and we were all summoned to take care of an out of control joyride courtesy of the idiotic Johnny Rancid.

After that, a bank robbery performance starring the Amazing Mumbo, following Kitten and Fang's not-so-romantic jewelry heist ending in Kitten and Fang fighting each other. So it became a domestic dispute that was even more annoying to deal with than Gizmo's arcade-fit when the irritant went on a rampage simply because the machine cheated him two tokens. Needless to say I was beginning to long for a prison cell thousands of light-years away forced to eat weird foods that could more or less devour me from the inside out. It was basically a three-ring circus with the same act done over and over and over again with no end and no change.

Yet I committed to each and every act with no complaint, only silently, deep within did I feel myself screaming at the top of my lungs, begging myself for a change that I knew would never come. I needed chaos … I did not sit well with routine … I needed something different … I needed … X. I was selfish, I needed him just to have him, to make my life a little more colorful than it had been for the pass years, he helped me keep the balance of good and evil within me, but I knew it would never last.

Despite the fact I knew he was coming back later tonight, I knew the relationship we established had been severed. Now, he was just being the risky-criminal I, as a Titan, knew he was, by coming over and showing off his skills to the other Titans. Specifically to Robin, I knew he would want to challenge Robin just to show him up and beat him down in front of his team; he was a jerk like that. He needed to prove he was better than everyone, he needed to win every game, and if he had to cheat to do so, than he would.

Morals, honor, ethics … none of that existed in his dictionary, neither did compromise.

All or nothing …

All … or nothing … I thought about this as I sat on my bed staring out the window to Jump City, and then switched my focus to the faint reflection of myself. The sun had finally gone down … X would be coming back to the Tower soon enough as Dodger Drayton, and I neither anticipated it or felt anxious about it. I just kept thinking … All … or nothing … if X has this mentality … if he lives by this rule … if he is the kind of person that did not believe in compromise, than why did he initiate the idea of severing all ties with me?

That was a compromise … he actually thought about good and bad with the explanation he gave me.

He took the idea of his position as an acquaintance with an enemy … and hesitated.

He was being … cautious.

X was NEVER cautions …

Just then the intercom went off and Robin's voice boomed into my room, "Raven, report to the Gym, Drayton's finally here."

I blinked slowly and took my time getting ready to present myself to my team and 'Drayton' with my eyes narrowed and my mind focused on that one revelation I clipped on my deep blue cape held together by my emblem. I was still in my uniform, the same old leotard with the same old colors only I had the turtleneck portion removed so it was now off my shoulders, but it was still long sleeved. I had gotten rid of my blue cuff-links and so the sleeves were now hooked around my middle-fingers with my emblem sown onto the back of my palms. My ankle boots I swapped out so now I slipped on my new thigh-high boots that were a more comfortable skin-tight fit and then I pulled the hood of my cape up, ready for a show.

I stepped out of my room and again I took my time getting to the gym, still pondering about X's cautious approach, Something has got him spooked … that's the only conclusion I could reach. Something about me spooked him … or was it me at all? Was it just the fact that I was a Titan? Or was it something outside of our little circle … was there an external force repelling him from me? I chewed on my lower lip as the doors to the Gymnasium slid open and I was presented with the smiling faces of all five Titans plus X. As a courtesy to the group I flew to join in and then drawled on monotonously, "Let's get this over with."

X chuckled and shot me a two finger salute, "Nice to see you too."

I narrowed my eyes, but lucky for me the shadow of my hood hid the suspicious glare I pinned X with, "Nice, wouldn't be the exact word I'd use to describe how I'm feeling right now."

"Heh, right," X responded without skipping a beat and turned to Robin with a shrug, "So, uh, how do I do this? Do I just show you my forms or … what?"

"How about a spar?" Robin suggested with a smirk and I watched as X's eyes twinkled dangerous, I couldn't help to roll my eyes and think, Figures. In boredom I stayed in the back of the group and waited for X to make friends with Robin, but Robin didn't give him the chance, "You verses Raven, you two have already been together long enough to learn one another's moves, so this should be easy."

I blinked and arched a brow, "Wait, you want me, a magic-dominated fighter to challenge him?"

Robin looked at me and smiled the most sincerest smile that made me want to punch him in the mouth, "Yeah … but you're not to use your powers … is that alright with you?"

Goddamn it … there were the times where I seriously hate Robin with a passion.

He knew how to pick me apart, and the only reason he knew how to pick me apart was because he knew me better than the other Titans. He knew that if I ever refused something it wouldn't be because I was a complainer like Beast Boy, or confused about concepts like Starfire, nor was I hesitant like Terra, or pouty like Cyborg. When I refused something there was always a legitimate reason behind it, otherwise I'd comply without question … like a good toy-soldier.

I gritted my teeth and as calmly and emotionlessly as I could muster I complied, "Whatever."

Robin nodded, "Alright, then it's settled, call it Drayton hand-to-hand or weapons?"

X chuckled when he looked at me and tilted his head, "Well, I've seen how she works the staff and it's very impressive actually."

Beast Boy, Terra, and Cyborg all broke out in coughs or discreet snickers trying to keep their amusement at X's smart little compliment while he kept a straight honest face. I shot my team a dark look, "Har, har …" I then glared at X as I jerked my head to throw my hood back and crossed my arms over my chest, "Hand-to-hand or weapons, I don't have all night."

"Okay, okay, calm down, what's the matter can't take a joke?"

"…" I shot him a dark look.

His smile never faltered as he nodded to Robin, "Um, why don't you choose for us, I'm good either way man, honestly."

I scoffed silently to myself as I walked passed him, but close enough to him so when I whispered he heard it loud and clear, "Honesty was never one of your better qualities."

I didn't bother to look back as I took my position on the wide open gymnasium and with my power I picked up the place-mats, folded them up, and neatly propped them against the mirrored-wall. I then sucked in a deep breath, closed my eyes, bowed my head, and mentally prepped for the coming challenge while still listening to Robin laying down the rules, "Okay, here's how we're gonna do this. You'll do hand-to-hand first – full contact – and whoever gets pinned two-out-of-three times ends the match, and then we'll see where we go from there. Sound good?"

X faked anxiety, "I guess … but … she has powers, I don't know –"

"Don't worry, she'll be forgoing her powers this time, and we'll be standing-by in case of any serious injuries."

"Serious injuries … right …"

Beast Boy perked up, "Chill dude, you fought against Tameranians! Fighting Raven will be a piece of cake!"

I kept my face from sneering when I thought in annoyance, Yeah, thanks for the vote of confidence Beast Boy.

I slowly cracked my eyes open when I felt X's aura focus solely on me, he stared me down, and I mean with no smile, no smirk, no smug grin, he gave me one helluva stare-down that would have given Robin a run for his money. This was just before he slid his legs slowly apart, shoulder length and then jerked his arms into position and locked his entire body so it looked like he was an unmovable stone. I arched a brow, then looked to Robin as he ushered the rest of the Titans back and away to give us some much needed room. He turned to face us with a deep breath and then nodded at me in confirmation for what I was silently asking.

With that confirmation, I bit down on my tongue, took up my position and tried to remain clear headed, objective, and in control while Robin counted down our fight. Yet, I still couldn't stop myself from feeling that this was all going to end so badly the ending in violence part of the equation X and I tried to avoid seemed to be the only variable Robin was forcing upon us. I just had this gloom-and-doom feeling that as soon as Robin hit one on his count down and gave us the green light things were going to get so much more complicated. A complication that could be easily avoided if I could just hide in my room and forget about X altogether, it would be hard … but I could do it if I had no other choice.

I didn't want to hate him.

I didn't want him to hate me.

But Robin left him no choice.

And I never have choices to make.

"… two … ONE! Fight!" Robin screamed, five seconds passed without movement, and then X rushed in without warning or sign of his planned moves, which was odd, because he always had a plan. Which also meant this was the plan. He wildly came at me with smooth, clean hits that I easily dodged and with one round-house kick sent him spiraling to the ground. With an unceremonious thud that made him grunt in pain he laid there for a moment and massaged his jaw where my heel made the connection. I stood perfectly still as I watched him pick himself back up and chuckle, "Ouch … that hurt, you hit harder than you look."

Terra on the sidelines giggled, "Not everything is as they seem Dodger!"

'Dodger', finally on his feet spared a glance her way and chuckled in response, "Heh, now I know what that truly – whoa!" He suddenly exclaimed when I came at him hard and fast with kicks to his mid, chest, and with a jump-spin kick I nailed the side of his head and again dropped him to the ground.

Only this time I didn't allow him back up, I stomped my foot on his chest, and he wheezed in pain when I applied pressure and bent over to say, "Maybe you don't know enough about me as Robin first suspected …"

His pain filled amber eyes connected with my ice-cold violet orbs and he saw the hidden message beneath the façade, he blinked as if he wasn't sure he saw right, then cringed when I pressed down to emphasis my point and then pushed off altogether. I walked away with my back purposely to him, listening as he struggled back on his feet, and sucked in deep breaths through gritted teeth. Just as I was getting back into position I heard his heavy footsteps charge me, but I knew he was still acting, so when he threw two punches to the back of my head I dodged both then spun around with another kick to his mid-section.

However, he pivoted on his right and side-stepped me, he then ducked down and swiped my leg from under me, I went down, but took the blunt of my fall on my right wrist which I then used to push off of and flip to land in a crouch a good distance from him. I may not be as skilled as he or Robin, but I was nimble enough to run circles around them. Still crouched low to the ground, he approached me, but this time he had a plan and I was in trouble. I went on the defensive and began to do everything in my power to stay away from him, but he managed to grab my arm when I tried to spin away from him.

He twisted it, I hissed in pain and he dragged me back around, then shoved me to the ground face first, my arm still twisted so tightly that if he were to apply the right amount of pressure he'd snap it like a twig. I gasped and tried not to squirm as he leaned forward and through gritted teeth, growled, "Not. Here." Then aloud so the rest of my team heard it said, "Not bad for a civilian huh?"

My team cheered, well, Beast Boy did anyway, "Yah! Go Dodger!"

'Dodger' grinned and let me up, but was careful to watch for any sudden movements as I rolled on my back. I glared at him, but then noticed my right leg was in between his feet and I got an idea, I mustered as much strength as I could and kicked my right leg up which forced him to fall on top of me. However, I knew he would correct the problem and instead he rolled over my head, so when he was back on his feet I was back on mine.

We faced off, then at the same time charged one another I swiped at him with a clean diagonal-kick, but he leapt over me. He used my head as leverage and grabbed the hood of my cape so when he landed he had a firm grip of me and flipped me over his shoulder to ruthlessly throw me to the ground. I grunted, but rolled back onto my feet when he rushed me with a downward punch. I blocked it, but the momentum of the punch dropped me back to the ground, so now I was scrambling to get back on my feet while watching out for all his low blows.

Just when I managed to stand up, I saw him coming in for a mid-kick, I braced and blocked for it, but he faked me out and spun around to punch my jaw in an upper-cut then finished me off with a mid-high kick to my chest that threw me across the gym. That, I'm sorry to say, had knocked me clean out of commission earning him the win in the hand-to-hand match. Cyborg and Beast Boy went nuts, Starfire and Terra cringed and gasped in horror as I rolled to my side and held my jaw trying to determine if anything was broken. All the while X did a little victory dance.

Robin was the only referee in this little match and knelt by my side, with a hand on my shoulder he asked, "You alright?"

I nodded and wheezed, "Yeah … but I guess he won right."

He smiled at the dryness of my response while he helped me back on my feet, but nodded, "You up for the weapons round?"

I looked up at him, still grasping his arms to help me stay on my feet I sucked in a deep breath and just as I opened my mouth to respond X had come over with his cold unrealistic smile and held out his hand for me to shake, "Hey, hope I didn't hurt you too bad, nothing personal, still friends?"

I didn't take it, I kept my face passive and my tone completely emotionless in response, "I'll be fine, and we were never friends."

He blinked and stared at me for a moment, fringing awkwardness while he rubbed the back of his neck and chuckled nervously, "Oh … alright then … um … are we still going for the weapons round?"

I didn't give Robin the chance to say anything for I pulled away from him, straightened up my cloak and pulled my hood back over my head, "I don't think so, I think he's proven his point … now if you don't mind I'm leaving the circus, have a good night."

I knew Robin arched a brow at the 'circus' bit, and I could feel X's aura cling to mine in inquiry. He may stick around with the Titans for a bit longer, or he may not, I don't know and I don't frankly care anymore … I can't hold a straight face around him any longer. I can't hold my emotions together while interacting with him, I was still annoyed at the fact he left without saying goodbye, I was confused about his reasons for leaving, and now I was pissed-off. Not because he won the match, but because he was still so much of an ass when it came to protecting himself!

I don't get him anymore!

And I'm getting sick of trying to figure him out!

--

Disclaimer: I don't own the Teen Titans, never did, never will, but DC always will and always has … sadness …

A/N: Ooo-weee!! There is a lot to digest in this chappie, seems as if the one road Rae's been trying to avoid has come to pass … oh well, can't have everything you want right? I'm also sorry if I made it seem as if Robin's the "evil-dude" in the story, but hell if I'm going to be true to his character he's gotta be suspicious of something. He doesn't strike me as the type to write anything off as coincidence, and either is he a dang fool. Lol, but that's my opinion, feel free to tell me what'cha think, whether you like it or don't like it is cool with me either way.

L8er daez!!