Car Troubles

Wario sat in his garage underneath his purple 1954 Cadillac Eldorado. Apparently, after crashing through his garage door - he still has to fix that too - his car got beat up pretty badly. Since he's too cheap to call a mechanic, Wario decided that he would fix it himself. With a wrench in his hand and a blowtorch in the other, Wario got to work. He had one of those flat platforms that rolled underneath a car and used one to slide underneath his pride and joy. (Also known as his car, just in case you didn't get the reference. XD) Wario twisted the wrench around, trying to find something - no, anything that actually fitted the circumference of the size. After failing several times, Wario gave up and just dropped the wrench entirely. He put the face shield on and turned on the blowtorch. "Wahaha! Burn baby burn!" he yelled. Wario maneuvered the blowtorch everywhere, not even caring what it did or where it burned. Once he was finished, the whole underside of the car felt hotter than a sauna, and Wario felt stinging hot pieces of metal melt off of his car and drip on his usual attire. He slid out from underneath his car with haste.

Taking off his face shield, Wario wiped some sweat from his forehead and said, "Phew, I think I fixed it." Wario stepped into his car and grabbed his keys. Inserting the keys into the slot, he turned the car on, hearing the beautiful engine purr once again. Except this time, the purr didn't last too long. After a mere five seconds or so, Wario felt the car shake and at the same time, he felt himself fall through the car. Now sitting on the concrete floor surrounded by melted car parts, Wario still held the steering wheel in his hands; his eyes were enlarged and full of bewilderment. "Nothing like a little bit of duct tape and glue can't fix…right?" he chuckled to himself as he stepped out of the gaping hole that used to be the insides of his car. Taking a better look at his car, Wario said, "Okay, maybe that's a little worse than I thought." He sighed and took a seat on a nearby workbench. "To think I have the garage door to fix too," he said, glancing at the large hole ripped through his garage door. He looked back at his car, then back at the garage door again. Waluigi stood there, his mouth wide open and speechless.

"'Wha-? Waluigi? What are you doing here?"

He closed his mouth and walked through the hole in the garage. "Well, seeing that you have a few car problems. I decided that I should help you out, for a reasonable price of course." A smirk slowly formed on his face.

"You? Help me? Not a chance. Go steal someone else's money, loser." Wario crossed his arms and turned away from the thin man before him.

Waluigi frowned. "Come on, Wario, you know you're too cheap to hire a professional."

Wario pondered it for a moment. "How much?"

"10 gold coins every 10 minutes," Waluigi replied.

Wario's eyes bulged bigger than two grapefruits. "What?! That's more than a professional costs!"

He snickered. "I know," he said, "now, take it or leave it."

Wario pouted, forcing a frown and angling his brows downward. "Fine..." he reluctantly agreed.

Waluigi grabbed a small red toolbox in the corner of Wario's garage. He lifted it up, examined it, then blew some dust off that smothered it as if it were frosting on a cake.

Waluigi went into a coughing fit. "Ugh, do you ever use these things?" he said, face full of horror and disgust.

"Too lazy," Wario replied, digging for gold with his pinkie while resting his elbow on the chair he sat in.

"Figures," he muttered as he walked over to the melted mess that used to be Wario's car. "This'll take awhile, you might want to take a nap, or continue looking for gold up in that huge nose of yours." Waluigi picked up several parts and began to organize them into sections. He sighed and mumbled, "I should've asked for more..."

Wario stood up from his chair. "I'm heading inside, have fun," he said, walking back inside his house. (Wario owns a house too, people. Remember Wario Ware and Wario:Master of Disguise?)

Waluigi was left with the task of fixing Wario's car, well, what was left of it anyway. Hours passed while Wario sat in his house watching television. Waluigi came inside and told him that he was finished with Wario's car and made some 'improvements'. Wario thought nothing of it and walked out to his garage again to see his repaired vehicle. His car looked brand new; the gleaming shine on the rims and bumper returned once again, and the bright purple hue glistened in the light that beamed from the hole in the garage. The white, cushioned interior look as if somebody could sleep in it for days. Everything looked brand-new.

"Wow, it looks... great," Wario said, surprised at how Waluigi actually did an amazing job.

Waluigi smirked. "Go on, give it a test run."

Wario stepped in the car. "Alright, but you better not have played any tricks!" he warned, pointing at Waluigi with a scornful disgust in his eyes.

Wario's hand moved on its own; it twisted the keys, igniting the engine. "Its Wario time!" he yelled, pressing his foot down on the gas and speeding through the hole in the garage.

"Hehehe..."

Wario sped through the streets of Diamond City, going as fast as he could. The wind blew his hat up slightly; the breeze flowed through his brown hair. The engine revved when he slammed on the gas, and made a clicking sound and almost coughed when he slowed down. Wait what? The engine clicks and coughs? That's not good...

Wario realized the problem at hand, but it was too late. The clicking noise pursued even when he wasn't accelerating or slowing down. It pierced his ears - tick - tick - tick. As Wario neared his favorite place in the world - not the dentist of course - club sugar, he parked his car in the parking lot and walked inside. Except, once he opened the door to the club, a loud explosion bursted his eardrum. Ducking for cover and holding his hands of his head, Wario dared to even look at the loud blast of fire behind him.

He looked and knew.

He looked and he saw.

His car blew into smithereens.

"Damnit Waluigi..." Wario muttered, walking into Club Sugar.

AN: A little less cheesy humor in this one :) you're welcome.