Long Road to Ruin

Let It Go

"AAARRRRHHAAA!!" Strongheart's sister Cassidia'n or Moonburst in English screamed and smashed her fist into the thick metal sheet of her current holding cell. She created a crater (one of many) in the four (six if the ceiling and the floor were counted) walls all around her and still the room was able to withstand her immense strength. Robin stood leaning on the control panel watching his monitor with the heated intensity of a predator stalking his prey. I could already see him salivating, wanting to pounce and sink his teeth into his victim and whining in his head because he could do nothing about it. Moonburst was too strong and too pissed off at the moment to even think about putting another Titan in the same room as her.

So for the longest time already we sat monitoring her behavior.

Well, I sat anyway, in the seat behind Robin and back in full uniform with my feet propped up on the consol and my arms crossed over my chest, a bored huff escaped my lips when Moonburst once again took a swing at the wall left adjacent to the wall we were behind. My impatiens was becoming quite noticeable and I was sure Robin was aware of it when he spared me a quick dismissive glance. I rolled my eyes and huffed again, being stuck here in this dark room with the only source of light coming from a blue-light which cast an eerie glow throughout the tiny space was not how I planned to spend what little of my night I had left.

Not to mention I had yet to shower off the grime, sweat, and filth from the fight earlier this afternoon. I wasn't able to rinse off prior to this mind-numbingly interesting sit-and-watch parade Robin was forcing me to participate in because once I returned to the Tower with Speedy and the others in tow I had to run the diagnostics with Aqualad. Providing whatever assistance I could to keep the Tameranian alive long enough for Robin to question, I was beginning to doubt that we'll ever get a crack at interrogating the pent up alien. Thus I sit bored out of my mind, filthy, and annoyed with every ear-shattering shriek that came out of Mooburst's mouth. I was close to my breaking-point and Robin still had yet to take his eyes off of the monitor.

As if her screaming, pouting, and cursing was going to give him any answers.

Feh … good luck with that.

The clock ticked … and it tocked … and the hours grew longer … and the night waned, I sighed heavily and when I deduced that Robin was purposefully ignoring me I finally stood up. I shuffled to the monitor in order to see for myself what the hell was so fascinating about this steroid-induced psychopath that didn't even understand the meaning of the slang chill. With one hand on the console I leaned forward and through the corner of my eye I glared at my obsessed leader and said, "Staring at her all night is not going to help with anything … you might as well get some rest and interrogate her tomorrow. Maybe by then she would have exhausted herself enough to even go anywhere near her."

"…" he didn't say anything, he ignored me and it didn't surprise me. Robin was … Robin, and he'll ignore the entire world if it meant he'd be able to solve a single problem over night. His drive was commendable, but it was also unbearable, I rolled my eyes again and opened my mouth to insist upon my discharge, but he suddenly spoke up, "She didn't finish it …"

I arched a brow, "… Who?"

"Blackfire," his frown turned darker and he finally looked away from the monitor to stare at the darkness in thought, "she didn't even try to finish it … as soon as she saw us she took off … why?"

That thought had crossed my mind, so I gave him my respective answer, "She was smart; she knew she couldn't take on the Titans and Moonburst at once, so she ran."

He shook his head, "No … Starfire told me about these challenges, once it's initiated there's no way to back out, and if Blackfire values her pride as much as I think she does she would have been just as hell-bent as Moonburst is to finish the fight."

I frowned when I knew where he was taking this, "You're thinking this was a set up? Blackfire planned Moonburst's arrest?"

"… I'm saying … it's a possibility."

I nodded and agreed with a shrug, "She's done something like this before … but that still doesn't answer the question of why she didn't just kill Moonburst like you said."

He huffed and bowed his head with his brows furrowed and a scowl on his lips, "The problem is we only have one part of the equation … we're missing our constant variable, X … what does he have to do with all this?" He started to think to himself, and I let him, I wanted to hear what he had to say because to be perfectly honest I was just as curious as he was about Moonburst's sudden appearance and where X fit into it. As far as I can tell he wasn't the type to get involved with personal grudges that dealt with old traditions, honor, and dignity. No, he avoided those like the plague. Robin was on to something, I just wish I was smart enough to spot it before he did, but then again, Robin was the detective, not me.

He shook his head again and said to himself, but aloud so I could hear it, "We're being played like puppets on a goddamn string … what are they thinking …"

"…" I didn't bother to say anymore, neither of us bothered to speak and as if on cue the doors into the Blue Room opened to Aqualad and Speedy, Aqualad with a tray of beverages and Speedy with a bag of donuts.

They smiled at us and Aqualad beamed, "Sugar and caffeine, a great way to keep the body functioning beyond its capacity, or so I'm told."

"If it's blackened with no cream or sugar that's the way Robin likes it," I informed him as I stood aside for Speedy to place the donuts on the consol we shared a brief look with one another before he backed away and plopped into the chair I was sitting in not too long ago.

Aqualad then stepped up to me, still with his friendly smile and handed me a warm cup, "Herbal tea, Speedy said you'd like it."

I blinked, then took the cup and nodded my head tentatively quite honestly surprised the archer even remembered me saying I preferred the tea over caffeine, it was … thoughtful of him. I grew a feeling that the archer was watching us out of the corner of his masked eyes, but I pretended not to notice and instead thanked Aqualad, "Thank you."

The Atlantian beamed again but then cringed when he heard Moonburst scream again followed with another loud bang that suggested she punched or kicked another wall. Speedy looked at the monitor and whistled, "Damn is she pissed … has she said anything?"

Robin took the liberty of answering him, "Not a word, other than to remind us that we had no right to interfere with some revenge streak she's on against Blackfire."

"Revenge streak huh …" Speedy took a bite of a donut and I took a sip of my herbal tea, instant content washed over me when the warmth of the liquid ran down my throat and filled the pit of my belly. It felt and taste really good to me, and Speedy, somehow still seemed to notice this despite him putting in his two-cents worth of a suggestion to Robin, "So you mean you haven't interrogated her yet?"

Robin huffed, "She's still too violent to question, I'm surprised she didn't destroy the camera yet."

"Well … that's because she wants to talk." Everyone turned to Speedy; the archer looked at everyone, smirked and shrugged, "What? You didn't think about it? Oh come on, it's obvious; all this noise and she still hasn't put out the camera? People like her want to be heard. She wants to whine, bitch, and complain about her problems much like the next emo-kid no one wants to hang out with on the playground. Just give it a shot and I guarantee you she'll be singing like a canary."

Robin and I shared a similar look, but Aqualad nodded and agreed, he even turned to us and said, "He's right, we had the same problem not too long ago with this other guy that slaughtered his entire family, he nearly destroyed the interrogation room down at the police station, but he kept the windows intact."

I frowned, "That doesn't suggest the suspect wanted to tell his life story …"

Speedy chuckled, "No it doesn't," he then stood up and dusted his hands from the sugary donut as he headed back out the door, "but it won't hurt that much to try."

Before any of us could stop him he was already out the door and undoing the lockdown to allow himself into the same room with Moonburst. Robin growled, "The idiot!"

Aqualad sighed heavily, "And to think, I have to deal with him on a daily basis … should one of us go in there to make sure he stays alive?"

I snorted, "If he is an idiot he shouldn't be allowed to reproduce, Darwin says let him die."

No one moved, no one knew exactly what to do, and we were too late to do anything anyway, the doors hissed open, Speedy stepped in, and then the doors shut and automatically locked him in with a suddenly frozen Moonburst. The Tameranian wild-cat with her frizzed out pitch-black hair and light neon green eyes stood on the far side of the room, tense, and antsy, but much to our great comfort she didn't try to attack him, she just looked frustrated. Robin, Aqualad, and I watched the monitor intently when Speedy took a step closer to Moonburst, and the Tameranian's shoulders went rigid. I put down my tea and chewed on my lower lip nervously when the archer smirked and said coolly, "Hey."

Moonburst hesitated, and then growled, "You're the man that interfered with the challenge."

He shook his head, "No, I'm the man that made sure the two of you didn't destroy the entire city … by the way, what was the fight all about?"

Moonburst held up her head and declared, "To avenge my family's honor from that glofnax of a putka!"

"Oookay, assuming of course I know what you mean, you mind being a little more specific for the record? What did Blackfire –"

"Do not dare say that putka's name in my presences!"

My stomach dropped and a startled gasp nearly escaped my lips when Moonburst's green eyes lit up furiously and she took a step in advance. Speedy in response took one step back to keep the distance and even held up his hands to keep her at bay, "Okay, okay, I get it … but what did she do to upset you exactly? Maybe we can help you."

"Help me? Can you bring that lying whore to my feet so I can burn her alive and spit in her grave?"

"… Um … how 'bout we start small?" I nearly slapped a hand over my forehead and cringed, but kept my composure and continued to monitor the interrogation, "Like, you tell me what's going on, and I'll see if I can get you moved to a nicer location, probably one with a view if you're a good-girl."

Moonburst glared at him skeptically, "You're ways are strange to me … prisoners on my planet are not treated with such kindness …"

"Hey, this is Earth, most places here you're innocent till proven guilty …"

"…"

"…"

"… She has made a mockery of my family by leading the Hexezbrk'fe towards my people's dwelling, my mother and father we taken to that damnable kingdom of hers and executed by those flee bitten dogs! My brother and I were lucky to have escaped with our lives and vowed to avenge our family by killing that putka, but apparently that two faced whore cannot face us by herself. She has enlisted help that badly injured my brother and forced us to spread our separate ways so my brother can heal and I can find some way of finally destroying that good-for-nothing –!"

"What kind of help has she enlisted?"

Moonbeam scowled, "Monsters, beasts from Zofnm itself that spout flames from their maw, and drain life with a single touch … she deserves to suffer for her cowardice ways!"

"… Did one of them happen to be dressed in all black … with a skull face and a red x?"

She growled, "That monster lead my brother into the trap that dealt him his near death!"

"And do you know the names of the other's that were with her?"

"No, but I shall never forget a face. Never."

"…" with that, Speedy left the room and moments later returned to the Blue Room with a heavy sigh and a conclusion, "That chick is out of her effing mind."

I scoffed, "I doubt you'd be sane enough to focus properly when you know the cause of your family's death was not fighting a fair fight …" But why didn't X tell me about the sister? I thought with furrowed brows as Speedy took a post beside me, forcing me to lean against the wall while he peered into the monitor at the somber Tameranian and then looked down at me.

He said with his eyes transfixed on me, "Nevertheless, we now know there are more players in the mix besides Red X and Backfire …"

"…" I didn't say anything, didn't betray anything, but for some strange reason I couldn't take my eyes off Speedy and vise versa, we stared each other down as if waiting for the other to give in to some unknown pressure that was building between us. Perhaps, he wanted me to cave and tell him anything that might lead to the other accomplices Moonburst was talking about. Or perhaps it was nothing at all, maybe I was just looking too deep into it and Speedy was just staring at me to stare at me. Either which the staring surprisingly didn't make me feel uncomfortable in the least, just conscious of it.

So since I felt no competition I blinked away from him to tilt my head and look towards Robin who (with Aqualad) had been watching us both curiously (how long had we been staring at each other exactly?). I pretended to not care and asked, "What do we do from here?"

Robin snapped out of his curiosity and shrugged when a disgruntled frown appeared on his face, "I … hardly know who I am anymore … from her description it sounds like we're looking into metas, something that seems so out of character for X to be dealing with … it's like he's playing a whole new game."

"One that he probably doesn't know the rules to yet no doubt," Aqualad said as he took a bit of a cream filled donut and cringed when the lemon filling didn't go over too well with his taste-buds. I frowned inwardly and looked away from everyone to glare at the monitor, Aqualad and Robin were right, X was playing a whole new game and it showed he didn't exactly know how to play it with how close everyone in this Tower was sniffing. Moonburst looked up at the camera and my glare turned into a dark look of spite, stupid girl … it was all her fault!

If she hadn't gotten caught Robin and everyone else would still be left in the dark about Malchior and Lucas!

Now I knew it wasn't going to take Robin long to put the pieces together.

Stupid, stupid Tameranian, why didn't Blackfire just kill her when she had the chance?!

My demon rose up without warning and before I could stop it my powers blew out the monitor and startled the men in the room. Immediately I felt Robin's concern cloud over me when he heard me sigh in frustration, someone placed their hand on my shoulder, I thought it was Robin, but when I looked up I found it was Speedy. He stared at me with a look of concern as he asked softly, "You alright?"

I gulped and answered quickly with the first thing that came to mind, "Stress … I need sleep."

Robin finally spoke up after he heard my explanation, "Fine, get some rest Raven, I think you've done enough for one day."

I didn't argue and quietly exited the room and trudged on to my floor and my room where I was now operating solely on autopilot to keep my emotions sealed away. I hardly was aware of myself when I grabbed my towel, some change of clothes and headed back down towards the coed shower-room. The doors slid open and I was aware of the wall directly in front of me that forced me to either go left or right, the signs said the right side were the lockers, while the left were the showers. First, I went to the lockers and picked the one that was deepest in the room the furthest away from the door where anyone coming in would have to really try hard to find me as I undressed and then headed for the showers.

I stepped into the wide open space and discovered much to my great delight that the shower heads each had their own little stalls that shielded the essentials with a single small door that swung open and closed. I gladly jumped into one, hung my towel on the hook outside the door, and immediately turned on the water. W-O-W … I really, really like hot showers, the water felt so good, and I could feel the tenseness in my shoulders loosen and my powers settle collectively and calmly. The water washed over my face and through my hair, I lifted up the soaked tendrils over my head, but froze when I heard Speedy's deep, very masculine voice envelop the shower-room as he said, "He must really be one helluva guy if you're still pining over him."

I scowled and glared over my shoulder expecting the lecherous archer to be grinning at my naked body, but instead I had a view of his side profile as he leaned his back against the wall beside my stall. His eyes fixed ahead staring at nothing and no one, it made me arch a suspicious brow. Especially since: One, I didn't hear him enter, and Two, how much had he actually seen before making his presences known. Bastard, I growled in my head, but otherwise trusted him (feh, right) to keep his eyes in his head as I turned back around to finish my shower, ignoring him while I did so.

But he was persistent.

He went on to ask suddenly, "Makes me wonder, have you guys slept together yet?"

I sputtered and snapped at him, "That is none of your business."

"I'll take that as a no … but it's interesting … I think it's the curiosity and the chase that's keeping you two together. Want to know how it feels, but too scared to initiate it, yeah, I'm sure if you just get it over with it'll eliminate all desire you have of him."

I rolled my eyes and before I stop my mouth from moving, I sarcastically replied, "Or it could strength whatever bond we have."

He snorted, "No, I don't think so … you seem the type to be scared out of her mind by commitment, not even sex can hold you down if you know there's a possibility you might get hurt."

"…" I didn't respond. Instead I slowly, suspiciously, turned my head to glare at him over my shoulder and thought, Where the hell is all this coming from? How much does he actually know? And why does he … care …

Since I didn't respond to his accusations he went on with a shrug, "Being scared isn't really isn't necessarily a bad thing … I mean, those who are scared of commitment know how big of a deal it really is."

"…" Still playing mute I bowed my head to glare at the running water which poured into the drain below me; he did have a point, a good one. I won't deny it, I am scared of commitment, I avoid it like the plague. It was a fact that no one outside of my squad knew was true … yet … for Speedy to pick up on it in a matter of two days was unsettling. I once said I didn't like to be analyzed, and it was this particular reason why I don't like it. I hated to be read like an open book. It felt like … like I was shallow somehow, that there was really nothing for anyone to look forward to in a conversation with me because they could already read who I am on my face.

Like … I wasn't interesting … or intriguing in anyway.

I've already figured that I wasn't physically interesting or intriguing, but to be the same personality wise?

Well, damn, that just made me feel two-dimensional, no depth whatsoever.

I closed my eyes and sighed.

I had to shut him up before he made me feel even more like crap with his crudely truth-filled comments.

"… Hello? You still – " he moved to look into the stall as if to make sure I was still alive, yet caught himself before he did so, but it didn't matter. Once he realized I was pressed up against the door of my stall, my hands holding onto the edge as I hid myself from him and dripped with water. I stared at him with my deep violet eyes and locked him in my raw gaze so he couldn't tear away from me. I only wish I could see beyond his mask into his eyes, to know what his intentions were, what he really wanted from me … why he bothered.

Quietly, in a voice so soft I almost couldn't hear myself above the roaring shower behind me; I asked him, "Why do you care?"

"…" it was his turn to play mute as he took a moment to find the correct words to answer me, "…" he seemed to be giving up, when he finally shrugged one shoulder and responded, "I don't know … you just … you look like you need more than a friend … you need someone that understands what you're going through."

I frowned, "And you think you're that someone?"

"… I could be …"

Could he?

Could he really?

No … he just doesn't get it … I shook my head, and I didn't have to say a word before he caught on to what I was going to say. So he softly said my name in protest, "Raven –"

I cut him off, I had to control the conversation before I made any deals or gave away anything that might incriminate him, everyone I cared about, and me for that matte. So, tiredly, I argued, "My problem, Speedy, is my problem … I don't want to drag you into it … I'm going to hurt a lot of people already, don't add yourself to my body count."

He pushed off the wall to face me with a determined frown on his lips, he wasn't going to go away quietly that was for sure, "Just ask me to help you Raven, and I will … you gotta at least give me the benefit of the doubt here, I'm not Robin, I won't judge you."

Grinding my teeth I put my foot down and said, "No, Speedy … just … leave it alone, leave me alone … go away …"

"…"

"… Now."

It took a second … but he heeded my plea and left me alone.

And suddenly the warm water didn't feel so warm anymore.

It felt ice-cold … I shivered.

--

I didn't want to deal with life anymore, so I went to sleep.

I went to sleep, and I was dreaming … I had to be, the soft kisses on my bare-shoulder trialing up to the side of my face, the heat of his body against my back warming me as he leaned over to plant a chaste kiss on my lips that I automatically returned. My body moved on its own and rolled on its back while my hands went up to his shoulders and held him in place over me as he planted a harder kiss on my lips and again I responded automatically. When he pulled away, I already knew who he was without opening my eyes, I'd recognize his kiss anywhere at anytime, he whispered, "You awake?"

I mumbled, "Mmm … you …"

He chuckled softly and kissed my shoulder before whispering in my ear, "Me …"

I shuddered and slowly opened my eyes to glare at X's playful amber eyes, tiredly I growled, "You're not suppose to be here …"

"Yeah … but …" he pressed his forehead to mine and said, "here I am, what are you going to do about it?"

"Throw you out the window where you snuck in from …"

He stifled a loud laugh, but pulled away from me and propped himself on his hands as he glared down at me and I was finally aware that this wasn't a dream. X was really here … on my bed … hovering over me … and grinning down at me with a naughty glint in his eyes, he snickered, "You know I actually came here to yell at you for that fucked up thing you said in the city."

I sucked in a deep breath and slowly exhaled as I closed my eyes, by the gods I was so tired … I blame Lucas … damn soul-eater and his sneak-attack, other than that I asked with my voice trailing into silence, "So what changed your mind …?"

"Watching you sleep, you look so exhausted."

I popped open one eye and glared at him for stating the obvious, "I am exhausted, so thank you for waking me."

He chuckled, "You're very much welcome."

He's not going to let me sleep, I concluded and opened both my eyes and waited for them to focus to the darkness of my room save for what little moonlight shone through my window. Well aware that I was only in my leotard with it's off the shoulder style and nothing more than air and a thin blanket keeping X from me, I stared up at him with a tired expression and let my eyes trail from his face to his attire and I frowned; he was still in his suit. He seemed to notice where my eyes went and grinned, "See something you like?"

I shot my eyes back up at his face and sneered, "Well that's the problem isn't it? I like you too much …" with a tired moan I pushed myself up into a sitting position forcing X to crawl enough away from me so I can prop myself up on my elbows and continue glaring at him, "I don't know how you got in here, but couldn't your little lecture wait till I left to go find you? It'll lessen the odds of anyone spotting your stupid-ass."

He scoffed and dismissed my insult with a backhanded reply of his own, "Feh, I love you too."

"…" I cringed; I didn't mind it much when he jokingly said he loved me at the start, but I knew – we both knew – that it meant something more than a joke now a days. Staring into his amber eyes I felt my stomach do flips and tie itself into knots at the mere thought of him loving me anymore than he would love a pet rock. I once said, to me, it felt strange to be the center of anyone's world … it still does, but to be the center of a thief's world. How does anyone react to that? How should I as his friend, and his enemy react to that knowledge?

Let. It. Go. I remembered Speedy tell me in the park, and I gulped. Suddenly I couldn't look X in his eyes anymore and I stared down at the sheets beneath me where I crumbled it into my fist and held onto it so tightly my knuckles turned white. Fully aware of his eyes still watching me, of the sound of his breathing, of the sound of my heart beating, and of the fact that we were still so close to each other it should be considered illegal in some way. I bit down on the inside of my lower lip and began to chew on it when Speedy once again whispered in the back of my head, Let. It. Go.

My chest started to hurt when I felt an odd aching sensation in the pit of my heart begin to grow stronger and stronger. I hated it. So I immediately willed it away and shook Speedy from my head, I don't need a conscious, particular one that looked and sounded like one of the biggest players in the Titan community. Besides, what does he know about me? He had no right to pretend to care about me … he had no right to give me advice when he himself hardly – if ever – followed advice given to him. No, Speedy's words shouldn't be giving me a hard time, but damn him to hell and back for hitting the nail square on the head.

Stupid archer, always having to get the target right, I could have gone on to curse Speedy black and blue, but a tiny gasp escaped my throat when X suddenly grabbed me and yanked me out from under the sheets. Feeling weightless I yelped when I was thrown back down at the foot of my bed with X pinning my arms to my side. I tried to suppress a small shiver that crept up my spine when the cold air of my room invaded my bare legs and chills appeared on my flesh. Annoyed, I scowled at the thief who hovered over me and stated with a finite tone of voice that made my heart sink, "You're so worth it Rae … I mean it too …"

I shook my head and tried to push him off me, but he refused to let up, so I huffed in exasperation and argued, "No, I'm not X. No one is, or should be worth the risk you took today … why didn't you have your mask on anyway?"

He frowned, "Strongheart cracked it, I could barely see out of it, but that's not the point –"

"You made your point X, I get it … I don't like it, but I get it …" I fought against him to let me up and this time he did, I sat up and brought my knees up to my chest to rest my chin on my knees as I stared at my rumbled bed-sheets and sighed, "Why didn't you tell me Strongheart's sister was on Earth as well?"

He suddenly looked away from me and seemed apprehensive about telling me, I waited patiently for the truth, and then he said, "Because then the plan wouldn't have worked out as well as it had … after Carmen's birthday, when I left for Steel City for those three days with Blackfire I thought it was just Strongheart that I had to deal with. We set the bait, Strongheart took it, but when we jumped him his sister appeared out of the blue and rescued his ass." He scowled, "So we had to track them down somewhere here in Steel … Lucas caught wind of the sister's location and we set up the bait, she fell for it, and now you guys have her."

"And what do we have to do with your little plan?"

He shrugged, "Nothing much, just keep her with you while we spread the word of her capture, Strongheart – no matter how fucked up he is – will come looking for his sister. You guys take him down and send them back to Tameran for their people to deal with. That simple."

I pulled my head up and tilted it with narrowed eyes, "That simple huh …"

"Yeah …"

"And how long exactly are we going to have to wait for Strongheart to show up?"

He shrugged again, "With how closely linked those two are, I don't think you'll have to wait very long, but I can't set a date on it."

"Fair enough."

A pregnant pause filled the air, we tried to keep our eyes from meeting, but the temptation was too great, I looked up almost the same time he did and slowly his trademark smirk returned to his lips. I bit down on my lower lip when he sat back on my bed and gestured for me to crawl towards him; I sneered at him and refused to move because he told me so. Instead I rolled over and landed my feet on my floor, but before I could stand up to change into something more fitting than my leotard X tackled me back onto my bed.

"Ahh!" I yelped in annoyance, but gasped when just as soon as my head hit the mattress I was flung up like a rag-doll now straddling X's lap, I grip his shoulders to keep my head from spinning but as soon as he pressed his forehead to mine I growled, "Now is not the time to play grab-ass X …"

He chuckled, "Funny, because the last time I remembered us in this particular position we struck up a little deal … now I'm just curious, can we amend the contract?"

I sat up and slowly pulled my face from his to stare him down with a straight face, wondering if Speedy was right, if I did finally sleep with X would my interest in him fade? It was an interesting inquiry, one that I knew wouldn't hurt me either way … I had already slept with Malchior and that was mind-blowing enough as it was. Hell, I was pretty sure Wonder Woman would have packed up her bags and moved right in with X if she knew how it felt like to lay with a dragon. Sleeping with X won't make me suddenly fall in love with him … but I knew damn well that it would further root me into even deeper shit than I already was in.

I sucked in a deep breath then sighed and licked my lips, slowly, from left to right which humorously mesmerized him and once I got his full attention I replied, "We could have a moment to ourselves I suppose … but I highly doubt you'd want to do anything here …"

He grinned and the hands on my waist slithered to my lower back where he pulled me even closer to him and whispered, "And why is that? I always got the impression that you'd prefer your own bed."

"…" I shoved him on the bed and holding him down with my hands on his shoulder I crept over him and as my hair fell over us I tossed my head back to get it out of the way before I stared down at his still grinning face and whispered even softer so he had to strain to hear me, "The floor could do wonders for your back …" with my eyes I gestured up over his head to the ventilation posted over the head of my bed that poured out the cool air into the room. He arched his neck and his back to get an upside down view of the vent while I explained, "That virtually acts as a megaphone from here to my neighbor's room, any loud noise could be carried and amplified to the next room, see my point."

X grumbled, "Why is it every time I'm alone with you the world has to get in the way?"

I scoffed, "Maybe it's just not meant to be," I said offhandedly, but with my empathetic powers I felt X's aura flash depressingly, but I disregarded it and sat up with a sigh, "but other then that, you need to get out of here, so where do you want me to drop you off?"

"Drop me off?"

"Yes, this Tower's walls contain a sheet of led which will interfere with your teleportation-system, the only way out to prevent anyone from knowing of your presence would be through me. So where are we going?"

He propped himself up with his elbows and huffed, "Well, I guess you could drop me off back at the Caribbean … Lucas still needs a place to stay and he needs to talk to you about something."

"… What does he want?"

"Hell if I know … but you might as well get it out of the way."

I don't think I like Lucas one bit at this point, but with a heavy sigh I conceded. I called to my cape which was hanging on the back of my couch and I whirled it on with a clip. Once in place I grabbed the edge of it and with my eyes glowing white I engulfed us both in blackness and shot through the ceiling. While I let my soul-self take shape I allowed my demon blood to boil over my human mind in order to keep from losing anymore precious energy I had left as I traveled the sixteen blocks over the city landscape to the Callie Strip. It wasn't long till I finally reached the Caribbean and dove through the glass sunroof to then take my shape and deposit X on the familiar steel platform.

It was cold to the touch of my bare feet; I figured if I was just going to drop X off, chat with Lucas, I won't be here too long.

Surprisingly (or rather not, it was a week-night) the Caribbean was closed, meaning no music was booming through the thick brick walls and all was still … not to mention dark. As a matter of fact, now that I had a look for myself, the studio looked empty with the exception of all the furniture still in their places. The lights, however, were out, and the stillness unnerved me, but X trudged on as if nothing was the matter. He undid his cape and tossed it over the rail to hang and hopped down the spiral staircase through the darkness, to then blind me when he flicked a switch and the studio suddenly exploded with light I wasn't prepared for. At least, my demon blood wasn't prepared for it, my pupils had already dilated to absorb what little light I had from my room to here so the sudden shine was cause for a little pain.

I immediately shrank away from the light and winced when my pupils dilated to tight slits that left me looking like a stunned cat when I tried to readjust to my surroundings. A couple of blinks later and my human sense of sight took over; the light didn't seem so bright anymore. I finally looked up and cautiously approached the rail. With my hands gripping the steel I looked over in time to spot X buttoning and zipping up a pair of jeans I wasn't aware he had changed into. He was still missing a shirt to go with it, but he didn't seem to care (and neither did I) as I leaned on the steel he looked up at me with a sneaky grin and I propped my chin in my palm, "How convenient …" my voice carried throughout the empty studio, "… Lucas isn't here …"

He snickered and pretended to peer around as if to look for the missing soul-eater, and when he couldn't find the particular person he shrugged and looked back up at me, "He's entitled to his own agenda."

"As are you."

He snickered again and with a slight tilt of his head part of his bangs fell to cover over his left eye, "You saying I set this up?"

"If I say that, it'll be suggesting I wasn't smart enough to figure you were playing me into a trap … so I'll just say it's a coincidence and give you the benefit of the doubt."

"That sounded like an insult, why don't you come down here and say that to my face."

"And I suppose it's another coincidence the bed is right next to you?" I snorted and straightened up from the rail, "If my intelligence is on the line I think I'll take my leave, goodnight X."

He scoffed, "Tease."

I turned my back on him and made my way to the office desk that still had a few sheets of paper on them, one of them caught my eye in particular. It had the red stamp: TOP SECRET on it and I can only assume it was a government file, needless to say I was curious. I thought X had all the evidence of his connection to this place destroyed, so why not snoop around a bit and I casually replied, "Name calling is unbecoming of you X."

I got close enough to the desk to see the top secret file had something to do with some sort of artifact hidden somewhere in the middle-east. His next project perhaps? A tingle in the back of my neck told me X had some how snuck up the stairs without my sensing it and he was coming for me. My demon instincts told me to turn around and attack before I was overtaken, but I reasoned that it was just X, and since I had the mind enough to stop him before anything got too serious, I could do it again.

I should have known my demon wouldn't see it that way.

His hands weighed heavy on my shoulders as he wrapped his arms around me and pressed his cheek to mine, his scent made my stomach turn into knots, I never knew he smelled so good, so appealing, so male. My lips parted slightly so I could breathe through my mouth to help control the scents that bombarded my senses, but it didn't help, not one bit. I took in his scent through my lips and my mouth salivated when I could almost literally taste him through the traitorous air around me. I licked the tips of my fangs that began to grow, and gritted my teeth when he unclipped my cape and tossed it on some chair I wasn't aware was nearby before now.

Inches from me … just inches from me he hovered without touching and it was driving me crazy, no … no … my demon, it was driving my demon blood crazy. I closed my eyes to get myself under control, I'll let him have a kiss or two, but then I have to go, because if I didn't leave now there was no way I was leaving for the rest of the night. That was a big no-no for me … not when there was early morning training exercise and Moonburst still – "Ahh …"

I sighed and whimpered softly when all he did was place his hands on my waist and dip his nose into my hair. His breath made my skin crawl and I wasn't prepared for the knot in my stomach to twist so much tighter the pain of pleasure made me lean forward to press my palms flat on the desk and over the papers. Instinctually my body pushed back so it was flush against his and low growl/purr rumbled in my chest, it made him chuckle and made me blush hot red when he leaned over me and pulled my hair from my face to whisper into my ear, "Somebody wants attention …"

I bowed my head in embarrassment, but my breathing was still heavy and grew heavier as I felt his finger tips tickle the sides of my body towards my back where the zipper of my leotard was and slowly he began to unzip it. My senses screamed at him to just rip it off, but my mind screamed at me to stop him, I tried so hard to listen to reason and for a moment I broke through the haziness of my lusty demon desires. I stole that chance to reach back and grab his wrist, to stop him from pulling the zipper down any lower than my middle-back, he held perfectly still, as did I and I thanked him for the second he gave me to catch my breath.

Once my head was semi on straight, I carefully stood back up on my feet, still with my hand holding his wrist and looked over my shoulder into his molten hot eyes that held me in place. I gulped and breathily said, "I'm not myself tonight … my demon … could hurt you."

He stared at me for a moment longer, then rolled his eyes and yanked his wrist from me harshly as he mumbled, "Jesus Rae …" I thought he would storm away in frustration because I denied him, but instead he spun me around and forced me to face him. I gulped again when the intensity of his eyes burned my flesh and his masculine scent made my head spin, it didn't help that his hands were still on my waist, holding me in place as he forced me to listen to him, "Why do you gotta do this to yourself? Why do you always worry about me and never consider that maybe, just maybe I don't give a shit."

"Well you should –" I began to argue, but I winced when he suddenly lifted me in the air and plopped me on the desk like a parent trying to level with their child.

I chewed on the inside of my lower lip when, straight to my face, he said the one thing no one else had ever dared say to me, not even Beast Boy when he grew fed up with my cold-hearted bitchy ways. He said, "Shut up. It's my turn to talk, your turn to listen."

"…" I was stunned speechless; no one, but no one tells ME to shut-up.

Yet, he went on as if he didn't notice my stunned silence, "I don't care anymore Raven, I don't. This … whatever it is we have going has got to go somewhere and it's fuckin' driving me insane when I don't know if you feel the same way or not. It's like, one minute you can't live without me and the next you can't stand to be with me. Can you make up your fucking mind? What do you want me to do, Raven, do you want me to stay, or do you want me to go … it's that simple. Otherwise, don't pretend to care about what happens to me if you don't care about what happens to yourself. Can you at least do that for me?"

"…" Let. It. Go.

"…"

"…" Let. It. Go.

"… Any year now, Raven."

Let. It. Go. Just let him go … let him go … I can do that … I've lived without him for most of my life … I think I can go on without him just the same.

I can do that … I can let him go.

I can.

I must … for his own sake.

I can do this … I can … I …

--

Disclaimer: Moonburst/Cassidia'n and Strongheart are mine, everyone else belongs to DC …

A/N: XDDD aahhh!!! Don't you just hate second thoughts? I know I do, I'm wrong half the time I begin to doubt myself … trust me with this folks, go with intuition it's usually right … on good days anyway, on bad days it'll just make you look like an idiot, lol XDD. Whether Raven's having a good day or a bad night is … something to be left for you to ponder for the next chapter, just bare with me here ppl it just keeps getting better and better ;) …

L8er daez