Long Road to Ruin Chapter 28: It's Complicated, a teen titans fanfic

A/N: Wow, apparently a lot of you have problems with the route I took in 'creating' my version of Azarath, and it seems like I have to defend myself once more. First off, I know what you all are talking about, I myself don't very much like it when something doesn't follow the correct order of things, it irritates the crap out of me. However, I don't very much appreciate being shouted at and corrected when I know the DC version of Azarath is a pacifistic world and they don't like violence and I know of Raven's history. I know all of it okay, and if I sound irritated in anyway, the truth of the matter is, I am.

It's a story of MY imagination and the way I see it is this site allows us to share our imagination with the rest of the world and yes, I do appreciate ALL of your criticism, reviews, comments, and compliments. They all make writing this worth while, but when I'm nagged because of some change that really – to me – seems so minor compared to everything else I've written and everything else I've read. I feeling like I've been attacked for being some kind of ignorant git who hasn't done her homework.

I've done my homework, and I'm sorry if I discouraged any of you because of the decision I've made to alter Azarath's world, but I won't apologize for what I've done.

I'm done talking now, enjoy if you wish to continue …

Long Road to Ruin

It's Complicated

DONG!

The church bells chimed and rang loudly in the empty streets now only occupied by those leaving their weekly mass and I never thought I'd be so happy to hear it too. It's been a long – LONG – day. We walked and didn't stop, not even for food (Arella had one big flaw in her plan: money) we had nothing to trade for in exchange for at least a canteen of water. X (though not without an argument from Speedy) with his devious talent of slight of hand had stolen us a few apples and pick-pocketed a small bottle of water. Both of which we finished not an hour ago before we reached the chapel, so fairly wary with tired feet and short tempers we approached the chapel just as the last church-attendee left the mass after having a word with their Father.

The priest, without having seen us, turned his back and headed into the church, yet just as we came under the streetlight I looked up and saw he was closing the massive doors. I gasped and rushed to stop him, "Wait! Father! Wait!"

X and Speedy were right on my heel as I scampered up the stairs to stop the priest from closing the second door, I all but slammed my body into it to stop it from swinging, X and Speedy came to my aid, but it was too heavy to stop. We pushed back and the priest, as if realizing the sudden resistance peeked around the door to see the blockage and gasped in earnest shock. He grabbed the edge of the heavy doors and with the force of four we pushed and pulled it back open till it slammed against the church wall and locked into place. Exhausted I stayed leaning against the door gasping for air while X sank to the floor, legs sprawled and head bowed looking like a dead puppet on a string panting for breath.

I sympathized with him and even (I think it was the exhaustion's doing) reached a hand down to smooth it over his hair, damp from sweat and warm from walking in the blazing sun, he pushed up against my hand as a weak response to my endearing gesture, but did nothing more. He was too tired to move, and I didn't blame him, all day of traveling to end in a brisk bolt to tackle a heavy door isn't exactly the ideal way to end a long – LONG – day. So I turned away from him when I heard the priest – having safely backed away from the door before it crushed him – shuffle around to look upon us with a gaze of wonderment.

As if we were the bloody miracle of the Virgin Mary (this was a Catholic church after all) herself. I sighed heavily and turned around from leaning cheek-to-door to properly face the priest who donned his traditional all black suit and white collar. He seemed to be as old, if not a decade older than my mother and also looked to have seen a great many miracles and tragedies in his lifetime. He was, to my surprise anyway, cleanly shaven with short neatly kept pitch-black hair and if I squinted my eyes he looked a lot like Lucas if he aged as normally as a human would. I blinked and shook my head, Impossible, this guys a priest … don't they practice celibacy?

He smiled awkwardly (who'd know what to do with themselves when a few young people like us burst through a church with such urgency?) at us, but it was a genuine smile nonetheless that formed in his kind black eyes first than his lips as he bowed politely, "Fahnenrina Azarce –"

He was about to go on with his greeting when X growled, "English, please, I'm way too fuuuuuuhhhhh …" he caught himself, and sighed heavily as he looked up at the priest with droopy amber eyes, "I'm tired, okay … so … yeah …"

The priest bowed again, "Fair enough, you lot look like you've traveled quite a ways to get here …" he eyed us all suspiciously and tilted his head when he finally took in the fact that Speedy and X were Temple Guards and assessed that I must have been escorted from the palace. He looked to me knowing that I must have been the leader of such a small entourage and asked, "What might I do you for your grace?"

I sucked in a deep breath, fixed my persona up and with my head held high (while X picked himself up off the floor to stand beside me like Speedy was doing but struggling to do so without falling flat on his ass) I answered the priest, "We're here in search of a man by the name of Clarence Zarni, the matter is of our own business and the weight of its urgency cannot be put on hold. Do you know of such a man?"

The priest straightened his back, frowned quite a bit, but otherwise said, "I am the man of whom you seek, Father Zarni at your service."

I blinked and tried not to look so taken a back, but I was … did I hear that right?

X, with a bluntly pointed finger stated in disbelief, "You're Lucas's father?!"

Speedy went on to pay tribute to St. Obvious, "You're a priest!"

Father Zarni held up his hands in defense, "No, no, you misunderstand; Prince Lucas is my nephew and the son of my older twin brother King Terrance."

I narrowed my eyes suspiciously, why did that name sound so familiar?

X shook his head, his mind still trying to catch up with the unbelievable, "Prince? Prince of what?"

Father Zarni sighed heavily and responded cryptically, "He is the rightful heir to a throne of a world I shall not speak of due to its exclusive nature of strict no-outside contact … but, if you know of Lucas … than you must be sent here from Lady Arella for young Marcus."

"Rajeer …" I whispered, Father Zarni's composure stiffened when I said the name and his kind black eyes turned to me, pleading for me to say no more, but I had to be sure I was right, "King Terrance of Zarni Rajeer … his arrival on Azarath was celebrated … but the reason for such a visit was never known …" I narrowed my eyes on Father Zarni and he looked away from me when I said, "He came to the monks because Lucas killed his wife didn't he?"

Father Zarni glared, "Lies … Lucas never killed his mother, she died because her life-energy could take no more abuse from the constant spells and rituals she put herself through in order to bear a demonically-gifted child." He closed his eyes as whatever painful memory of the past resurfaced and in good sport he swallowed the pill back down and sighed, "My brother was devastated … he blamed Lucas for her death even though she managed to give him what he wanted.

"Dear Darling never wanted such a fate handed to her child, and poor Lucas did not even know what to think of his own being. He began to distort reality from the cruel lies my brother told him. I couldn't watch him suffer any longer, so I in my brother's place took Lucas to the Temple Azar, but, Lucas was already too far gone. He ran away thinking I kidnapped him from his beloved family … and … I suppose he learned the truth the hard way because the last I heard from Rajeer was Castle Zarni had been burnt to the ground."

Father Zarni shook his head slowly as if the memory of hearing such news still shocked him, "I thought my brother had surely died … but when news of my immediate beheading reached me I knew my brother must have thought I sent Lucas after him in an attempt to usurp his throne. So here I've remained for eight years, estranged from all that I once knew, until Marcus appeared at my doorstep."

Speedy frowned, "Appeared? You mean he just walked up your steps knowing who you were?"

Father Zarni's face contorted into that of uneasiness, his face drifted from the wide open door, down the empty aisle leading straight to the alter where beautifully crafted statues of the divine miracle, saints, and angels stood. Striking, elegant, and beautiful, the structure itself was quaint, simple in its design, but made its point with its dark brown polished pews, white marble floors, and large roman pillars lining the outer-sides of the pews. Yet, one thing was for sure … there was no one around, it was completely empty, and the only reason why our voices weren't bouncing off the walls like ricocheting bullets was because we were closest to the open door.

However, Father Zarni was not going to take that chance and lowered his voice so it was barely above a whisper, "I believe we've discussed quite enough in the open, let us find more suitable shelter."

He quickly shuffled about to again try to close the large church door, but this time Speedy and X were there to help him, and as soon as they placed their hands on the door a young childlike voice echoed throughout the chapel, "That'll be unnecessary," Everyone jumped at attention, everyone excluding Father Zarni who continued on to push the door closed even as Speedy and X searched for the mysterious voice that appeared out of the blue. They didn't have to look far, for in the middle of the aisle dressed in the black and white robes of an alter-boy was a little boy eight years of age with pale white skin and colorless white eyes. His pitch-black silky straight hair in stark contrast to his flesh, and his haunting voice filled the church with a ghost-like wisp that sent a chill down my spine, "The nuns have all gone to their convents for evening vespers; we have the church all to ourselves Father."

I didn't even sense his approach … I frowned at that thought, was I really getting that bad? To test the theory I spread out my aura and found that I could hardly feel X's or Speedy's auras when they stood right beside me, which meant the church itself must have been enchanted. Wonder why?

Father Zarni chuckled as he finally closed the door with a resonating THUNK, but didn't lock it as he turned to smile at the child, "That may be the case, but better safe than sorry."

With a quick glance from the priest to the child I stated what I figured to be correct, "You're Marcus, aren't you …"

The child turned his head to me and with a slow blink he said, "I am milady, and I've been expecting you."

That line … so over used by many a badass villain, a creepy nutter, and an even creepier kid, but this kid owned that line. He took it to a whole 'nutha level that no one I know of as of yet could touch him, Father Zarni snapped me out of my stare when he swept himself in between us to stand behind Marcus as he placed his hands on his shoulders and said with a smile, "Marcus is … somewhat special, he can see into the future."

I frowned, 'somewhat' was putting it lightly, that was a rare ability to be born with, "How far?"

"When the decision is final, then I know," Marcus informed and I shuddered, he really was Lucas's brother … er … half-brother, they were both skin-crawling.

Father Zarni elaborated, "What he means to say is he can only see into the future of those who've made a critical decision that could ultimately alter their current lifestyle."

I looked to Marcus, "Can you see into your own future?"

He shook his head, "My blind sight."

Speedy inquired, "So you are blind?"

Marcus's head turned to Speedy and he tilted it, "I can see you as clearly as if you see yourself in the mirror … my mother's eyes are white, and she will stop at nothing to see me returned to her. So I hope you're ready for the coming trials."

Father Zarni patted him on the shoulder and turned him around to push him down the aisle, "Okay Marcus, that's about enough of that, now why don't you set up what rooms we have left and see to it that the tea is nice and hot."

Marcus did so without protest, robotically even, "Yes Father."

As he walked down the aisle X shivered, "That kid has got to play more video-games."

Speedy shot him a dry look while he asked, "What did he mean by trials? Does he know something we don't?"

Father Zarni sighed heavily, "Apparently he has a feeling his mother is searching for him in the city, and I don't take that feeling lightly, he could be right and I fear for his safety if he should remain here, but also if he should venture outside of these walls. It is the only place where he and any other demon aura can be concealed so to protect the identities of those who wish to worship in peace."

Oh, now the enchantment makes sense, I thought in satisfaction, but X arched a confused brow, "Demons worship the very God that damned them to an eternity in Hell?"

I sighed, "It's strange, but then again …" I looked to X, "What was a demon before the fall?"

Father Zarni smiled gently, in understanding as he gestured for us to follow him, "Come, it is far more comfortable underground."

We followed him through the church towards the room Marcus disappeared in, but Father Zarni paused before the alter, did the sign of the cross, bowed and with his hands clasped in prayer before him continued on his way. I just so happened to glance at my right and stopped in mid-step myself when I saw X raise from the floor after bowing on his right knee. He had just finished crossing himself when he looked in my direction and froze as if he'd been caught in the middle of a breaking in. It had never occurred to me what religion X was, or if he even believed in any one or thing besides Lady Luck.

He trailed his eyes to the ground and tried to act like it all didn't matter, but when he reached my side I whispered, "And to think you're a catholic … I never would have guessed."

He huffed in exasperation and ran his left hand down the length of his face as he hissed under his breath trying not to be heard by the smiling priest (who saw it all) and the curious archer (who was actually suspicious), "Ahh … my mother made me into an alter-boy when I was around that kid's age and I attended CCD classes till I was in the eighth grade. It's no big deal."

"No big deal? You don't seem the religious type."

He scoffed, "I'm not …" he then shrugged and looked down at me with his trademark smirk, "but you gotta believe in something."

"… I suppose …"

Clarence Zarni lead us through a small backroom with a simple cot, four white walls, a writing desk propped against a bay-window, and a crucifix nailed to the wall, in conclusion I could only guess the room was his. Plain, boring, no luxury whatsoever, and so his teachings go, neither of us bothered to mention it as he lead us through another door. This one held a set of spiral stone steps that took us down under the church where a long old stone hall lit by paper lanterns cast a warm eerie glow on the walls. It made our shadows stretch and tower over us like dark angels sent from beyond to either look out for our wellbeing or destroy us.

I was leaning more towards the wellbeing part if only to allow myself a little comforting lie.

The priest took us to the second door to our left where lit by numerous candles, lanterns and a toasty warm fireplace made the small eating-area appear almost homely. Speedy sat down on one of the wooden chairs Father Zarni gestured to as he excused himself to check on Marcus's progress with our tea and sleeping arrangements. I sighed and unclipped my cape which had grown heavy and hot in the warmth of the fireplace where I sat closest and waited patiently for Father Zarni's return. Yet, not a minute after his departure did Speedy suddenly say, "I don't trust this place."

X scoffed, "What's not to trust? It's a frickin' church for crying out loud."

We ignored him as I turned to Speedy, "I don't sense any immediate danger Speedy, what are you thinking?"

He ran his hands over his short orange-red hair highlighted by the fire's warm glow, his green eyes darkened by the shadows cast over the walls, on the floors, and at the door … I think I can understand where his paranoia was coming from, "It's what the preacher said … something about the kid being right about his father coming after him."

"It's his mother," I corrected, "Marcus is a half-demon, his mother is the demon and demonic mothers are vicious if they have it in their heads that their child is in any danger."

X added his two senses, "Well, after the story we heard of Sir Kingly Asshole, who's to say he didn't bend the truth here and there and from what I understand that kid came here on his own."

That made sense; I narrowed my eyes and asked Speedy, "So what are you purposing?"

"We leave tonight, while we have darkness on our side and while anyone who might have been watching us least expects it."

I frowned, "Speedy, this isn't Earth, darkness is not on our side here, it's safer to travel in daylight, in the middle of a crowd where we won't be attracting too much attention."

"Have you seen that kid? He'll be attracting attention left and right if we leave in broad daylight."

I glanced at X when I noticed he wasn't protesting, but rather contemplating it, I stared at him slack-jawed in disbelief, "You agree with him?"

He looked up at me and shrugged, "It makes senses, plus we'll have the added bonus of no foot-traffic, so we can run the marathon without anyone the wiser."

Unbelievable!

I should have known they'd agree to do something so stupid!

I shook my head and put my foot down, "No, we're not doing it. I know this place better than either one of you and when I say daylight is safer, trust me on that. I'm not doing it to be precautious I'm doing because it's a necessity!"

Speedy sighed, "What's to be afraid of?"

"For one the Temple Guards find the nighttime prowl more enticing to stalk anyone breaking the law, and another is the inhuman civilians that live here roam the streets at night and they are not as friendly as the ones we've encountered earlier today." I scooted closer to him and repeated his very own words back to him with a little twist of my own, "Azarath isn't as fair as Steel City. If you're human and you're traveling the streets in the middle of the night chances are you're either incredibly stupid, or a suspect in some kind of investigation, which we are. So I am not dragging that kid out there at night, understood?"

"…" Speedy glared at the fire.

"…" X stared blankly at the door.

Neither of them willing to go against my argument and that unsettled me, usually when they don't have anything to say, they're thinking of something to do and I couldn't have that. I placed a hand on Speedy's shoulder to grab his attention he shifted his dark green glare on me when through gritted teeth I growled, "Do I make myself clear?"

He stared down at me, both literally and figuratively before he sighed heavily and gave in, "Crystal."

I let him go and turned to X, "Drake," he glanced at me dryly, and I repeated myself, "Do I make myself clear?"

He blinked and shrugged, "As clear as glass."

I sneered, he knew glass wasn't always so clear seeing as it can be warped and shaped to obscure images and can even made into plexy form, Smartass … but before I could scold him Father Zarni and Marcus came into the small room. A tray of tea in Marcus's hands set in the middle of the table, he disbursed the plain white china and proceeded to pour as Father Zarni took his seat with a tired huff, "Oh dear, excuse what little I can offer, if I had known you'd be coming I would have prepared something a bit more suitable for your long travel."

"It's alright," I reassured the priest as I brought the cup to my lips, smelt the sweetness of the tea and sipped it, it was delicious, "I don't want to overstay our welcome, we'll be leaving at the first sign of dawn tomorrow."

Father Zarni frowned and set a hand on Marcus's shoulder when the boy sat beside him in the only available seat, "Why so soon? I know a few gentlemen, good folks that could help if only you could wait a bit longer."

I shook my head, "Time is not something we have, we're risking a lot already staying overnight."

"If you don't mind my asking, besides the apparent danger of Marcus's mother lurking about, what is your rush?"

"Before we ever heard of Marcus's predicament we were caught up in another matter back on Earth and the longer we stay here the more likely it is for that matter to escalate into something completely out of our control."

Marcus suddenly stood up from the table and bowed low, "I apologize for my inconvenience."

Father Zarni frowned and I suddenly felt bad for wording it the way I had, it did sound cruel, I sighed and put down my tea to hold out my hand to the boy, "Marcus, you have to understand that we don't perceive our business as being more important than you, but just like your life is in peril so are my friends'."

"I was being polite, I did not apologize out of self-pity or hatred, your business is your own and I don't very much care for it."

I blinked, Okay … so I was wrong, Marcus obviously understood the greater picture, I didn't know whether to be impressed for a child of his age, or concerned since no child of his age should be subjected to such an adult-way of looking at things. It's what made me as screwed up as I am today, but that's not to say Marcus would end up the same way or worse, for all I know he could have his head on straighter than myself. I just … didn't like the idea of a child not growing up being a child … I guess it was because of my lacking childhood that gave me this mindset, but the point still stands. Marcus was very old for his age.

Probably even too straightforward for Father Zarni's tastes for he tugged on the boy's arm and scolded, "Don't be rude Marcus, she and her friends are still here out of the kindness of their hearts, show more gratitude."

He bowed as another gesture of apology and then shuffled to the door, "As a show of gratitude I shall show you all to the rooms I have prepared for you, if you'll only follow me."

He left out the door and X shook his head, "Like I said, more video-games, that kid is too tightly wound for my tastes preacher-man."

Father Zarni glanced at X and smiled grimly, "Yes, I must agree, I can only imagine what my brother has put the poor child through in his young years, but never mind that, please, go, you must be exhausted. The robes I had Marcus lay out for you to wear in your short time here might not be to your liking, but it is all I have to offer."

I stood up and offered the wary priest a small shadow of a smile cast only in the flicker of the fire in the fireplace, "You've already done enough Zarni, we can take it from here."

He took small comfort in my assurance and like the walking dead Speedy and X followed my graceful stride out the room back into the lantern lit hall where Marcus (still in his alter boy uniform) ushered us further down the hall till we reached one door to our left. He gestured to it, but didn't specify who should take it, so X in his hurry to crash and burn on a bed didn't argue or protest and all but ran through the door to plop face down on the low cot. Marcus then led us a bit further down and to my right he made another gesture to a door and said, "This will be yours Miss Raven."

I thanked him and just before I slipped into the small quaint room I wished Speedy a goodnight and closed the wooden door behind me. Leaning on it as I latched the lock I closed my eyes and sighed tiredly, delighted that I was given a bed to sleep on, but cautious of the fact that I didn't have the luxury to actually relax. What with Marcus's warning, the priest's feelings X and Speedy still lingering about and on ill-terms, I had too much on my plate to leave alone, and … I also forgot my cloak back in the other room. With a light curse that left my lips I turned around, unlatched the lock, and as soon as I flung the door open to leave I stopped dead in my tracks when Speedy stood out in the hall.

He was directly in front of my door with a fist poised for the knocking and his green eyes looked about as shocked as I was to find him at my door, I arched a suspicious brow, "What are you doing here?"

He blinked, took a moment to collect himself and shrugged, "Where were you going?"

I rolled my eyes and tried to push him out of my way, "I am not in the mood for mind games right now Speedy, so why don't you –" His hand shot out to stop me from leaving my own room and he pressed the palm flat on the door frame, I glared at it in irritation then huffed and narrowed my eyes up at him when I saw that he wasn't going to let me go, "What's this about?"

Speedy lowed his face closer to me and whispered, "We need to have a serious talk, right now, while your influence is passed-out on his cot."

I sneered, "You? Having a serious conversation with moi? There's a shocker Bumble Bee will never believe."

He scowled, "I get it, your hilarious, ha, ha, the world bows before your greatness, your grace."

"Coming from you, I could get use to that."

"Raven …"

I growled in defeat and stepped away from the door as I threw my hands up in agitation, "Fine!"

Speedy came in, and shall I note he looked quite pleased with himself.

I never wanted to kick him so badly as I do now, but I resisted temptation like a good little saint and sat down on my bed, the fabric of my dress bellowing out around me, fluttering like weightless paper before it settling in its place. I placed my hands on my lap and waited for Speedy to close my door and come to my bed where he too found a spot to sit across from me, facing me, and still looking smug. I counted to ten in my head to keep myself from slapping it off his face when I realize I was actually being very hostile tonight … I chalked it up to the exhaustion talking and decided to try and calm down.

Speedy needed to have a 'serious' conversation with me, and right off the bat I already knew who it was about before he ever opened his mouth and said, "Robin's gonna have your head when he finds out you've been seeing Red X behind his back …"

I rolled my eyes and held up a finger, "One, you have no proof Drake is who you think he is," I held up another finger, "Two, word of mouth will only get you so far," I held up my third finger, "and three, I'm not seeing him."

The archer's eyes darkened "And I'm not stupid, you can't lie your ass off by saying otherwise this time Raven, not when I can see what's really going on."

I frowned, "This isn't about confirming if whether or not you're really going to put Drake in prison is it?"

He shot me a dry look, "You said so yourself, word of mouth will only get me so far, it'll be stupid to try and purse a case that needs him to confess and he ain't going to confess shit if he knows he can get away with it and I bet you already knew that too."

I tilted my head, totally unfazed, "If this is not about the technicalities of Drake and my future than I don't see the point in this conversation … unless you want to talk about what it is you think that's going on between the two of us, in which case I have to say that's none of your business."

"It became my business when I had to cover your ass for sneaking around."

Low blow, I stood up, he followed my example and I pinned him to the far wall of my small room with one of my infamous cold glares, "I never asked for you to cover my ass, and I don't need you to start looking out for me either, so quit trying to save me from something that you think is a grave mistake that I've made, I can fix it on my own."

"I'm not trying to save you from anything; I'm just trying to understand. If you're willing to defend him, lie to your friends for him, and trust him with your very life … why is it that you're afraid of admitting that you're together when it's so frickin' obvious that the feeling's mutual where he's concerned." He shook his head in confusion, "What are you afraid of?"

"Nothing! I don't …" I huffed in exasperation and plopped back down on my bed in defeat, how do I say it, how can I put it so he can understand that I really, really, don't love him. Words failed me and I ended up just repeating what I've been saying, "I don't love him Speedy …" I looked up at him while he watched me closely and I shrugged, "I don't … I really don't know what this is … I can't call it a friendship because it's deeper than that, and I can't call him my boyfriend (I choked somewhat for saying that word) because then that'll imply some form of ownership and … a guy like him … he can't be owned."

I brought my face down into my hands to hide my shame when I realized that I was actually opening up to Speedy and it brought a light embarrassed blush on my face. Honestly. Speedy?! Of all the men … why him? I shook my head and muttered only loud enough for him to strain to hear, "I really, really care about him, and I wouldn't know what to do with myself if I was without him … like I said … it's complicated …"

The bed moved, he sat back in his place beside me, facing me, and I was still too embarrassed to look at him, so I stared melancholy at the ground as I took in the words I had just said. They were all true, and once I said it out loud I noticed how crazy it sounded and how ridiculous the confusion of it all was. I should be locked up in a padded room! I almost expected Speedy to say what I was thinking, but when he sighed heavily and chuckled I figured he was just going to berate me. So I braced for it when I glanced at him through the corner of my eye as I sat up straight and pulled the tail of my braid over my shoulder to undo it. The tightness of which my mother tucked it in was beginning to give me a headache (and I was starting to suspect that it had something to do with my sudden outburst).

Speedy scooted closer to me and placed a friendly hand on my shoulder, I stiffened, but didn't shake it off as he said, "It sucks to be you …" I scowled at him, he removed his hand to hold it up in his defense, "But based on what you've told me he sounds like the kinda guy that just grows on you suddenly, like a … like a … like a tumor."

I leaned away from him stare at him dryly which he returned with a shrug while I rolled my eyes, "Well … even though this supposedly benign tumor –"

"I never said he was benign, he could be cancerous and you might need emergency surgery to remove him before he spreads."

I sneered and picked up where I left off, "Might be a good thing … good things don't last forever …"

He scowled playfully and hopped away from me so he could see all of me, "You are a very bleak girl ya know that …"

I rolled my eyes, "I'm a huge fan of this little thing called logic and common sense I live and breathe it. Besides, I'm a Titan … relationships just don't … work …"

"Have you tried telling that to Rob and Star?"

I huffed and shook my head in exasperation, "They're delusional – no, she's delusional, Robin's just going along for the ride and I mean that literally and figuratively."

"Cold." He snickered, "That's very cold Raven, but this guy … he doesn't seem to care who you are …"

I frowned, "Which is the problem; he doesn't get how dangerous I am to him."

"What's to be dangerous if he's on the good side?"

I scowled, "He's not on any one side."

"He may not be, but who's side are you on?"

"Last time I checked this isn't dodge-ball, why do I have to pick sides?"

He shrugged and stood up, "To me, Rae, you don't … but that guy is a different story. He's really into you, and at some point in time he's gonna wanna know where you stand and trust me when I say being friends is the last thing he's gonna wanna hear."

I chewed on my lower lip and furrowed my brows when I remembered X saying almost the exact same thing Speedy was suggesting. I had almost forgotten about it actually, and now I felt bad for not really putting much thought into. I sighed and threw myself on my bed when the thought of how deep I had trekked into this messy vat of chaotic emotions made me wary. My arms sprawled all around me with the sleeves of my gown and my unfinished unbraided hair tossed to the side as I stared up at the small white dome-like ceiling with nothing but the single candle at my bedside lighting the tiny room. I muttered, "Damned if you do … damned if you don't …"

I bounced ever so slightly when Speedy threw himself so he was lying beside me with his hands tucked under his head and a cool smile whipped across his lips. I glared at him while he winked at me with his pretty green eyes, "Damn it all if you can't win either way."

With an arched brow I propped myself up on my elbow so I could stare down at him with narrowed eyes as I shook my head, "I don't get you."

He cocked his head and blinked, "What's not to get? I'm a guy."

I scoffed, "You're a hero –"

"I'm still human."

"With freakishly incredible archery skills –"

"Flattery? From you? Why thank you, that means a lot."

"And an innate talent for attracting whatever girl you want –"

"Well I wouldn't say whatever girl I want –"

"Why would you waste your time trying to impress me and belittle Drake?"

"I don't have to belittle him, he does that well on his own," He snorted condescendingly, but then sighed heavily and closed his eyes so instead of looking impatient or irritated he seemed relaxed and collected. Even when he opened his eyes and scooted away from me so he could see me a little better with his head cocked, "I'm not trying to impress you Raven, I know that doesn't work on you … and why would it be a waste of my time to be with a girl I like?"

"Well that's it …" I growled and sat up, he followed suit while I still glared at him, "That's the part I don't get … why me?"

"Did you ask the other guy why he likes you? Why he bothers to be with you?"

"I'm asking you."

"Well, there's no other way to say it Raven, you're different."

I scowled, "So is every other girl."

He shook his head, "No, every other girl is every other girl, so put it this way: you hate being treated like a girl. You hate to be cared for, and for some reason can't stand it when a guy tells you you're beautiful, – which you are by the way – and my favorite part of you that I really like is that you can see through the bullshit. You can strip a badass like Red X straight to the core and be able to see him for something I can't believe him to be … a good guy."

Flattering, all of it was flattering, but I still frowned and looked away when he missed one, "That's not all true you know …"

"… Enlighten me."

"I can't see through the bullshit like you think I do … at first glance, that's what you are to me … and I don't care if you're something different so long as you don't get in my way …" that sounded awful now that I said it out loud … was I really that much of a bitch?

"Then why stay with X?"

"Drake."

"Whatever, answer the question."

I rolled my eyes, "If I knew that, Speedy, I wouldn't be in this mess right now …"

Suddenly, an evil smirk played on his lips, "Well, maybe it's like I thought it was, maybe you're just into the bad-boys and you can't get any badder than the infamous Red X."

I scowled and stood up, "Okay, you know what; you overstayed your welcome, time for you to go."

He stayed sitting on my bed chuckling as he shrugged, "Aww, come on, there's gotta be some truth to it right? The danger, the mystery, the intrigue, it turns you on doesn't it."

The arrogant oaf, now he was just being an ass and I didn't feel like dealing with it now, so I reached down and grabbed a fist full of his tight shirt (scratching his hard chest muscles by accident) and tried to yank him off my bed, but he wouldn't budge so I leaned down with a dark scowl, "Fine, so I'm attracted to the danger, I suppose that leaves no room for good-boys like you to remain sitting on my bed, taking up my space, and breathing my air, now get up."

He brought his hands to my hands to try and loosen my grip while he chuckled in my face, "And who says just because I'm a Titan that makes me a good-boy?"

I tightened my hold on his shirt when I felt him try to pry off my fingers, "You take orders, do as you're told, and stand in a neat little line like the rest of the toy-soldiers Robin gets to play with. You're as good as good can get Nancy boy."

He grabbed my wrist and pulled me closer to him, almost pulling me on his lap, but I stood my ground, even if that meant standing bent over him with my legs on either side of his right knee. I scowled at his playful grin, when he mockingly growled, "Take that back."

"Truth hurts?"

"I'm gonna count to three and if you don't take that back this little soldier's gonna break rank."

He's bluffing, I sneered, "I'll have you court marshaled before you can ever lay a hand on me."

"One … try me …"

I let go of his shirt and tried to pull away, but he held onto my wrists and kept me close to him, I growled, "Speedy, this isn't funny anymore."

"Take it back … two …" He was really insisting on playing this game.

"You don't scare me."

"Two and a half … you're asking for trouble Mary."

I jerked my hands to get away from him, but he still wouldn't let me go and I was too stubborn to back down, "Do your worst."

"You asked for it," he lifted me, as weightless as a feather, and all but body slammed me on my own bed, I held my breath and prepared for whatever punishment he had in store for me. Honestly, I actually expected him to kiss me … what with his boldness in his pursuit of me despite now knowing my close relation to X; I thought he'd try to implant the idea that he could be just as worthy of my affection as the thief.

I braced for it, but instead I felt his fingers crawl all along my sides trying to tickle me. I rolled my eyes, and just when he gave me enough room to contort my body in such a way that I could tuck my legs close to my chest. I kicked him off me with enough force that sent him flying across the room landing flat on his ass with a goofy grin on his face.

I sat up and tried to persevere what little modesty I had left by pulling down my dress and fixing my rumbled hair, "You're an idiot."

He sat up and laughed a sad laugh, "Wow, you're not ticklish? You're sad!"

"And you're an idiot."

"You already said that."

"I was emphasizing it."

In one fluid motion he hopped off the ground back on his feet, I got to mine as well and marched to the door, yet halfway there Speedy said, "I can see myself out ya know."

With my hand on the handle I jerked it open and over my shoulder I shot him a dark glare, "I'm not doing it for you, I forgot something in the other room and was going to go retrieve it before you decided to act like a stark raving idiot."

I stepped out in the hall and through the corner of my eye I saw X's door had been closed, but not all the way, it was cracked open and I could see the dim light from his candle shining through. I noted it while I waited for Speedy to get out of my room so I could close my door, but he paused before me and stared at me in disbelief, "Wow, you are just no fun, kinda sucks that I dish out the punishment and in the end I'm the one that leaves here with a bruised ass."

"You're fault." I said with a shrug.

He shook his head, "Doesn't feel right, I might just have to get even with you."

I rolled my eyes for the umpteenth time since this conversation started, "I'll be sure to grow eyes in the back of my head."

He moved aside and out into the hall, a graceful move that I thought nothing of as I reached around him to grab at my door. Yet, just as I slipped my fingers around the handle Speedy swept me up in his arms the sudden move made me grip the handle of the door tightly and I didn't let it go until I heard the resonating SLAM that echoed throughout the hall. My hand slipped from the door and didn't know what to do with itself while a gasp was jammed at the back of my throat when I felt his lips against mine and my head went light with sensation, but not shock.

No, this did not shock me, I have been expecting something like this from Speedy, but now that I felt how deliciously inviting his lips were I had to wonder if maybe I secretly wanted this to happen. Maybe if only to see if I would react differently between a hero and a villain, maybe it was just because I was curious, or maybe there was no reason whatsoever, maybe I wanted the kiss just to have it. Despicable of me, yes, but that was the ugly truth, granted this wasn't right on so many different levels I did make an effort to push myself away from him if only out of the fear that someone (X) might see us.

Speedy, however, held me tightly and my mouth moved with his when he slowly opened it.

I braced for him to take what he wanted from me, and even slackened my resistance to ride out the pleasure, but even as he tilted my head back and moved his lips against mine I shuddered when I found myself actually relishing in the anticipation. He wasn't in a rush, he was taking his time – not teasing me – he was enjoying me and he wanted me to enjoy it too. I did, I was, I am enjoying it, and damn me to Hell for wanting him to deepen it. I considered taking the initiative, to go with my instincts and take up the dominant roll, but when our lips came together again, I lost my chance.

He barely pulled away from me; I could still feel the heat of his breath pooling over my neck, his fingers gently dug into my hip not wanting to hold me too tightly, but not wanting to let me go either, probably as a gesture of good-faith. Simply to show me that though he wanted to state a blunt point, he didn't want to scare me by being too blunt, if only he'd known X wasn't as much of a gentleman, and neither was Malchior.

All they wanted from me, they took ruthlessly and without remorse, they weren't afraid to show me pointblank how much they were physically attracted to me and though I liked people when they're straightforward … this … this was … nice. Different, but Speedy still had the (for the lack of a better word) balls to take what he wanted, and he did it still conscious of the fact that he wasn't the only one getting something out of it. My stupid hands that didn't know what to do with themselves not too long ago had found themselves on his forearms.

I held onto him for a little longer as I looked into his longing-filled jade eyes with a glazed over stare myself. I wasn't stupefied, or shocked, or even appalled with what I had done, I was just … confused. I always said I never liked nice, but now I'm beginning to think that's because I never knew what nice was. Still a bit dazed I bowed my head from him to stare distantly at his chest while my mind went into overdrive. I was aware of his grip on my hip loosening so they rested casually on my person, relaxed, comfortable, as if I myself had given him permission to hold me in such a familiar manner.

I gave no such permission, but I still had to think, to sort things out and worrying about where his hands might wonder wasn't the priority right now. What was was the burning question taking the forefront of my brain that I just needed an answer to. So, still staring distantly at nothing I quietly asked, "Are you satisfied with just that …?"

He had to lean down in order to hear me, I waited for his response and damn him for being so honest, he responded by bringing those accursed lips close to my ear to say, "You know I won't be."

Somehow I knew he was going to say that, I guess I stupidly wanted to believe he wouldn't. I closed my eyes and with a heavy sigh I shook my head slowly from side to side and slipped away from the warmth of his arms to stand apart from him, "You're not making things easier for me … Roy …"

He stepped forward in an attempt to console me, but I stepped away from him and he huffed in frustration, "I don't mean to complicate things for you, I –"

"Well you are," I glared at him and as I gathered up my next group of words to produce a sentence, in the dead tense silence of the hall I heard a door creek, immediately my eyes went to the one door I knew was still left open and much to my dismay I saw it close. Nothing … nothing could have been louder or more damning than the silent click of the latch locking from the inside … Drake … I thought in despair. There was no question about it … he saw everything … heard everything … and I suddenly didn't know what to do with myself, other than to dive deep within myself and shut down completely.

Reality couldn't be real right now … I had to think … so quietly, without further argument from Speedy I bid him a final goodnight and went back into my room completely forgetting about my cloak.

Disclaimer: I don't own the Teen Titans, Azarath, or Arella DC owns them, I do own Clarence, Terrance, Marcus, Lucas, and Darling, and the Temple guards … so, yeah, mine …

A/N: Alright, let me predict a 'WTF' line of questions that this chapter has evoked in the lot of you, lol … BE PATIENT, and don't worry I have this all planned out, it's not the end of the world (not that I'm aware of anyway). The Speedy/Raven scene has to happen in order for the story to progress where it has to go and besides for those of you who are somewhat fond of the pairing, it should be a treat =).

In the mean time, let's hope I didn't scare the rest of you away because of what has happened in this chapter (and of what I've done to Azarath), but it won't hurt my feelings either way. Thank you for following me thus far though, I feelz allz warmz and fuzziez insidez, LOVE YOU!!

L8er daez!!