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When Amanda was about nine years old her dad left. Just like that. She knew he had problems with her mom, and even though it made her mother angry, Amanda was always on his side.

That morning her parents were fighting, as usual, and he walked out of the door. She ran after him and asked him when he is going to be back. He promised to take her to a movie that day. He's answer was "later".

But later never came. He just didn't come back. A few weeks later her mom told her that he called, just to say he's sanding her divorce papers.

That was the last time she'd ever heard of him. She never went to see that movie, even when a friend's mother offered her to go with them. She told them that she'd wait for her dad, they wanted to see it together.

It took a long time for her to understand he's not coming back. And it upset her. Her mother started dating, and she left her to take care of Kim. She ended up taking care of her mother too, since she had a tendency to date man who only wanted to use her.

Maybe later was now.

Because Amanda walked out of the interrogation room and saw him. She had no doubt it was him. And he walked up to her and she didn't know what to say.

She had enough strength to walk to the bunks. Once there though, she felt like she was that little girl, sitting outside of her house, all dressed up to go to the movies. It was getting darker, and she was getting tired. She was so tired she just fell asleep. Her sister woke her up. Her hair was a mess, and the dress she was wearing got dirty from the dust.

"Mandy" he called her and it brought her back to the reality, to the precinct.

She looked at him for a while before she spoke "I don't like it when people call me Mandy anymore"

He wasn't sure how he should reply, she had the right to say whatever she wanted.

"You are so grown up" he whispered.

She rolled his eyes at him "well I'm not nine anymore" she wanted to tell him he's late, but she figured he won't understand.

"Man…Amanda" he took a deep breath, he wanted to say so many things to her. She was leaning on the wall, her arms crossed, staring at him. He knew she looked a lot like her mother, but her eyes, they were his.

"Whatever I'm going to say, it's not going to fix anything" he saw her looking at the floor for a second, than her eyes were staring at him again "you deserve to know what happened"

"Ok" that's not what she wanted to say, she wanted to ask him if he was kidding, if he thought he could just show up after more than twenty years and just explain. But instead she said "ok", and then added "lets hear it"

"All this time, Amanda" he wasn't sure how to phrase it, and decided to just blurt it out "I've been in witness protection program"

Amanda bit her lip a bit so she wouldn't laugh, because she really wanted to do just that. He couldn't come up with a better excuse?

He could see she wad doubtful "it's true" he said "I know you don't have any reason to believe me, but that's the truth"

"So what are you doing here?" she moved a little, put here hands on her waist, kept on staring at him.

"I came here to find you" he answered.

"How did you know I was here? Mom?"

He shook his head "I don't think she'd be happy to see me" Amanda couldn't help it this time and she let out a little laugh, he ignored it.

"Can we talk about this somewhere else?" he asked "I really want to explain everything"

A couple of minutes passed before she spoke "I'll think about it"

He took out a card and handed it to her "this is where I'm staying" she seemed reluctant, but took it anyway.

"I hope I'll see you later" he said.

"Yeah, later" she replied quietly.

After he left the room Amanda felt a wave of emotions washing over her, but she was not sure how she was feeling. Confused and angry for sure, but there was also a glimpse of joy. She wasn't sure she was happy to feel it about him, it was too late to take that little girl to the movie.

Amanda had the card in her pocket. But she didn't really need it, she took one look at it in the bunks and she couldn't forget the address. It was a little motel. She was standing across the street just looking at it. Did she really want to go in there? Hear him out?

But what if he has a good explanation?

Maybe that's what she was afraid of. What if she'd have to forgive him?

Sometimes she felt like such a cliché, having daddy issues because he left. She knew it was true, in a way she always looked for a father figure. Sometimes these figures ended up wanting more, like her old captain from Atlanta, who was always good to her, but also was attracted to her, and when he came for a visit few years ago he tried to kiss her. She felt so bad about it. But she felt bad about many things. Was that who she was to people? Easy pray? Someone you could use? She always tried to by strong, she didn't want to need anyone, not like her mother needed. But maybe it wasn't enough, Nate sure used her.

She couldn't help herself. "Come on girl" she said and crossed the street towards the motel.

When Tim Rollins was young he was certain that one day he would concur the world. He didn't know how to do it, but he was pretty sure it had to happen. He was already concurring most of the girls in his high school, how could he not with his looks. He had dark blonde hair, blue eyes, he was tall. No girl could say no to him, he didn't even have to try.

Not long before he graduated he met Sarah Marie, and he never felt like that before. They were in love.

For a long time things were good, they were happy and he still believed the world was his. But than Sarah Marie got pregnant and they had to get married. Still, it all seemed very romantic.

Amanda was a cute baby, she was easy too, didn't cry a lot. He got a full time job and they were doing alright, her parents helped them out, they were watching Amanda for hours everyday while their daughter spent time with her friends or at the part time job she got.

When Amanda was two years old Sarah Marie's parents died in a car accident. Suddenly she found herself alone with the baby most of the day and she didn't like it. Tim's dad died when he was a kid and his mom didn't like Sarah Marie so he was afraid to ask her for help. And that's when reality took over.

She slowly started resenting the baby, Tim didn't know, he wouldn't have noticed anyway. Since Sarah Marie couldn't work anymore he had to work harder. He got home tired and they would always argue. He found himself returning home later and later. He started spending a lot of time with his friends from work playing cards. He liked that.

They had some good times too. One lead to her being pregnant again. He hoped this time it would be a boy. But they had another girl. They called her Kimberly after her late grandmother. She wasn't like Amanda though, she was crying all of the time, constantly looking for attention. Now they were both tired all of the time.

Amanda was five and she tried to help, but there wasn't much for her to do except hold her little sister when her parents were screaming at each other so loud they didn't hear her crying.

As time passed things didn't get easier, Tim spent less time at home and more time plying cards. It may have started as friendly games, but it turned into more when it wasn't enough for him. Slowly it was all he wanted, to place another bet, make more money.

He watched games with Amanda, she liked spending time with him, and she shared his joy when he won and stayed away when he lost, he would get so quiet and just stare at the ceiling, it scared her.

He wanted to be rich. He wanted the big win and the games weren't enough. He would disappear for days, one time he got back without his car. He had a huge fight with his wife.

He walked out of the house that day, not sure where he was going to sleep since he no longer had many friends and his mother passed away earlier that year. Amanda ran after him and asked him where he was going. He told her he couldn't sleep in his bed that night and she offered him to stay at her room, she'll sleep on the couch and mom won't know. She was eight years old, she suddenly looked so grown up, and he felt so sorry for her. He agreed with her plan because he knew he had nowhere else to go. But he promised himself he won't let anything happen to her. He'll make all her dreams come true.

He earned enough money for a car and on Christmas he took her and Kim across Florida state lines. He left them in the car since children were not allowed in. He won that night, it was a lot of money. He showed it to her, promised that her dreams will come true, she looked so happy.

But something inside him knew he could make more, more money for more dreams. It couldn't be that hard.

But it was, and he lost everything.

Her reaction surprised him, she just said it was ok, she was too young for dreams anyway. Even though her words hurt him he couldn't stop. He didn't really try, between the job he hated and the wife who was arguing with him all of the time, it was his outlet. He told himself that without the gambling he would probably hit someone, so it was better.

Than one day he got so mad at Sarah Marie he just couldn't take another minute of being there. He walked out of the house and Amanda ran after him. They were supposed to go see a movie together. He said he'll be back in time, and he meant it. But he didn't make it back.

You might recognize the thing with Amanda's old captain from "Strange Beauty" (13X22) and the story about Florida from "Gridiron Soldier" (15X16)