They're just getting longer and longer! Woo! Alright, let's hurry up and get to it then! Read and review, please!
It took a good five minute walk to finally reach the temple, but it felt like so much longer.
I wasn't sure what had come over me when I grabbed Hiei. I guess after the rampage of delusional fear my body and mind had went through, I just needed someone solid and real to hold on to. The whole experience felt like a nightmare, and I couldn't piece everything together. I remembered feeling like Hiei was chasing me, feeling that he wanted to kill me. That was absurd though. Hiei was rude and cold, but he wasn't terrifying. No one here would ever purposely hurt me, or so I hoped.
Going through the door, I smiled at Kurama sitting across the entrance.
"How was training?" He nodded his head in greeting, and his nose twitched. My face fell slightly, a diluted wave of fear washing through my bones.
"It was… It wasn't what I expected." I mumbled, rubbing down the goosebumps that rose on my arms. An odd look played across his face, a mix of confusion and something else, but I tried to ignore it.
"Your lunch is in the kitchen if you're hungry." He gestured in the direction of the smell of fried rice. "You might have to warm it up."
"Thank you." I followed the amazing smell, my stomach reminding me that it was going to start digesting itself if I didn't feed it immediately.
As I stumbled into the kitchen, feet numb from who knows how long in the snow, Hiei caught my attention. He looked…casual. He was drying the melted snow from his hair, leaning against the counter while waiting for his food to reheat. The microwaved beeped and his eyes opened, resting on mine. Embarrassment colored my cheeks and I turned away, pretending like I was looking for my food. I was about to open the fridge, when a steaming bowl was held under my nose. My eyes followed the arm that held it, reaching Hiei.
"Thank you." I smiled, taking the bowl from him and sitting at the table. I noticed his bowl was in the other hand, also warmed. He must have put both in the microwave. He sat across from me and we ate in silence. It wasn't a grating quiet like I expected, but comfortable, like when I used to watch him train. I stole glances at him, wondering if I should apologize for my inappropriate behavior earlier.
"You're in heat," His crimson gaze met mine and my eyebrows knit together. For a moment he looked embarrassed, looking away and adding, "Ask Kurama." I nodded slightly. I had an idea what heat was, some of the girls in Master's camp had went through it, but I didn't feel any different than normal. Hiei's fist slamming onto the table snapped me from my thoughts.
"Stop calling him Master, you stupid girl. No one owns you anymore. Do I have to beat that into you?" He rose as he spoke, leaning towards me and grabbing my wrist in threat.
"I…I…" I stuttered, trying to think of what to say.
"You what? You want to feel owned again?" He pulled me so my hips were pressed uncomfortably against the edge of the table. "If that's what you want, I can make it happen. Didn't that Master of yours get to use you however he wanted?" His face looked angry at first, but then an evil smirk took over his face. His free hand grabbed my hair, not in the gentle way from the clearing but in a truly awful way that brought back the terrible memories of being shoved face first into the dirt. As he yanked so my face a breath away from his I remembered rough, dirty hands groping under makeshift pants and the smack of flesh against flesh. A growl ripped from my throat and my fist connected hard with his jaw.
"No!" I yelled as I leapt over the table, knocking him down and pinning him to the floor. "You will never, ever touch me like that again! No one will! Do you understand!?" I fisted the collar of his shirt, and snarled. He just laid there, looking at me with those unreadable eyes. "Do you!?" I asked him again, giving him a good shake that made him hit his head on the hard wooden floor beneath him.
"Suteki. That's enough." I snapped my gaze to Kurama, leaning against the door frame. His arms were crossed, a serious look on his face. My fingers lost their grip on Hiei's shirt and I felt my body relax.
"I- I'm sorry…" I turned back to Hiei, still lying under me. His eyes were closed, muscles in his jaw jumping. There was already a bruise forming. Tentatively, I brought my hand up to it and brushed my fingertips over the blackening flesh. At first he seemed to lean into my hand, but then he sat up. His closeness made me realize that I was still on top of him, now sitting in his lap. I jumped back as if I had been burned.
"Are you alright?" Kurama started to place his hand on my shoulder, but I flinched away. The last thing I wanted at the moment was to be touched.
"I'm fine." I looked at Hiei again, feeling guilty and betrayed. I turned away, refusing to let him see me cry, avoiding Kurama and hurrying to my room.
As I sat on my bed, more memories fought their way up. I tried to push them back, but they wouldn't go away. I never thought about how I had been violated back when it was happening, most of the girls went off to much worse so I could never complain. But this time in a place where rape and abuse weren't the norm had taught me something about myself. I was more selfish than I first thought, and I was willing to fight for my safety. For a moment I felt grateful towards Hiei because he was the one that killed the monster. Then I remembered that it was the monster who raised me… How was I supposed to hate a man that fed and clothed me?
A knock on my door brought me from my thoughts.
"Yes?" I whispered, half-hoping that the person on the other side of the door hadn't heard me and just went away. Kurama stepped in anyway.
"We need to talk." This was it. He was here to kick me out. I had stepped out of line too many times.
"Okay." I looked toward him hesitantly. He looked uncomfortable, debating on whether or not to shut the door. It was left open, and he sat on the very edge of my bed, leaning away slightly.
"What Hiei did was inappropriate, but he's not all at fault. It seems you've went into heat. I didn't notice it this morning, but it's true." Even as he spoke, I could see him leaning away even more. "That being said, he also wanted you to realize that your time spent under someone's thumb is over. He didn't have to bring up such awful memories, but he isn't as horrid as you must think."
"I don't think Hiei is horrid, or anything like it." I said the words without thinking, only realizing they were true after they left my mouth.
"Good. Well, is this your first heat?" Kurama swallowed thickly, averting his eyes from me and gazing out the door.
"I think so, why?" Was there something wrong with me? Was that why I wasn't feeling any different? The girls at the camp had always had a crazy look in their eyes when they went into heat, some even seduced other women.
"I figured as much. Since you were malnourished most of your life, your body probably held it off until it felt fit to bear children. Since this is your first, there's no telling when you'll start to feel different. Your pheromones, are apparent to any demon males, so it's probably best you keep your distance from Yusuke, Hiei, and I." He stood, slowly walking to the door and gripping the handle so tight that his knuckles turned white. "You can probably sit in a closed room with and nothing much would happen with Yusuke, because he's only partially demon, but you need to avoid staying around Hiei and I for extended periods of time indoors. Since you're a part wolf demon, it should last about a month or so. It seems like a long time, but it will only happen once a year, instead of two weeks twice a year."
"O-okay. Thank you for explaining it to me." His apparent discomfort put me a little on edge.
"You're very welcome. Now if you'll excuse me." He practically bolted from the room, closing the door behind him.
After he left, I sniffed myself quickly. I had been sweating during training, and the smell had dried on my clothes and skin. Kurama said that I was letting off pheromones, and I learned from one of those science books he brought me that pheromones were secreted through sweat. Maybe that's why he was so uncomfortable. I grabbed the textbook from the bookshelf, knowing that there were certain regions that pheromones where specifically potent but not remembering them. I flipped through the pages, finally finding the passage I was searching for. If it would make it easier on people, I would try to keep these areas as clean and covered as I could.
"These odors are largely produced by the skin's apocrine sebaceous glands, which develop during puberty and are usually associated with sweat glands and tufts of hair. These glands are located everywhere on the body surface, but tend to concentrate in eight areas: The axillae (underarms), the nipples of both sexes, the pubic, genital, and circumanal regions, lips, the eyelids, and the outer ear." (Borrowed from . A really interesting read if you're into science)
Most of those were relatively easy to cover. I could also wear that perfume that Hiei apparently hated. I quickly took a shower, making sure to scrub the area's the textbook mentioned, taking care with my eyelids. When I got out, I put on deodorant and sprayed perfume on my chest and dabbed some behind my ears. I also put on a clean pair of jeans and a t-shirt.
"There, that should do it…" I whispered to myself. I knew the men here could control themselves, but I didn't want to be a burden. I slipped from my bedroom, glancing around before heading downstairs. I wandered through the house for a while, wanting to do something productive. Yukina was in the kitchen preparing dinner and Yusuke and Kuwabara were arm wrestling in the living room where Kurama and Genkai also sat. Hiei was probably outside. After a few minutes, I found the weapons room that Kurama and I had trained in this morning.
The staff sat in the corner where I left it. I stared at it in irritation for a few moments before deciding I would try with it again. I wrestled the rice-filled dummy back to the middle of the room and picked up the long piece of wood. It felt foreign in my hands. I tried twirling it, but it clattered to the ground.
"Ugh..." I groaned, picking it up again and swinging it at the target. I managed to hit it, but it wasn't a very solid one. I tried a few more times, but I could never seem to get the grip or swing right at the same time.
"You're moving your waist too much. That isn't a bat you're holding, stupid." Hiei walked into the room, sliding the door shut behind him. "I thought I told you not to wear that disgusting scent."
"I- Sorry. Does that door need to be shut?" I glanced behind him, not wanting to make him uncomfortable.
"Do you not believe that I can control myself around some simple bitch in heat?" He glared at me, though even as he spoke the look in his eyes changed. I remembered the strange look in his eyes when we were in the kitchen. This look was different, but not threatening.
"It's not that… I just…" The bruise on his jaw was now a thick purple. I had already struck him once today, I didn't want to hurt his pride as well.
"If you don't want help then I can leave." He cocked an eyebrow and crossed his arms, growing annoyed with the conversation. I swallowed and shook my head slowly. I needed to learn how to use a weapon. "Good. Keep your hips still and try again."
I did has he said and struck the target a few times, using my wrist and elbow to manipulate the bō.
"Your grip is still off. You need to keep it lose until right before you hit." He walked around to lean against the wall in front of me. I felt his eyes go from my toes to my face slowly. It sent an odd shiver down my spine. "Focus, On'na."
I gave him a sharp nod and tried to do as he instructed. When I went for the target, though, the staff flew from my hand and towards Hiei. He caught it easily and walked up to me. I quickly apologized, taking the staff back when he handed it to me. He was close enough that I could feel the heat radiating from his body. I started to lean forward, remembering just how comforting the heat had been in the clearing, but then I stepped away quickly. It was strange, not twenty minutes ago had I been avoiding all touch, but now I almost craved it.
"Sorry." I mumbled, focusing my eyes on the dummy again. In my peripheral I watched Hiei go back to his spot against the wall.
"Try again."
I did, tightening my grip closer to the middle of my strike instead of risking throwing it again. This seemed to work, and it hit the target hard on its side. Hiei nodded his approval.
"Multiple hits this time. Be sure to pivot on one foot when you move. Don't twist at the hips and keep your eyes on your target."
I took a deep breath and tried to do as he said. I struck at the dummy's neck and side. I fumbled with the pivot to switch to the other side, but recovered and lashed out where the knee would be. I smiled at the small accomplishment until I heard Hiei walk across the room and grab a sword from the wall. He ran his finger across the blade, checking its edge.
"Block me." That was all he said before he swung at me. I barely had enough time to lift the staff up and stop the blade from slicing my shoulder. Surprisingly it didn't cut a notch in the wood; it was dull. "Knock it from my hands." I thought about how I would do it for a moment before moving to the side and rearranging my hands to push down hard in one swift movement. He still had a grip on the sword with one hand, but it was away from me. A giggle of joy bubbled from my stomach. I stepped back and twirled the staff in my hand, feeling the joy of finally getting something right. The happiness died as I felt the dull blade pressed to my side.
"If this had been a real fight and you stopped to celebrate like that, you'd be dead in an instant." Hiei's mouth was set in a stern straight line, but something similar to amusement reflected in his eyes. I glanced down at the blade and thought for a second. Then I brought a hand to one end of the staff, keeping the other planted in the middle, and hit the sword away. A clatter filled the room and I whooped, raising a fist into the air. Glee overtook my face and I looked at Hiei excitedly. His eyes were closed, arms crossed, a smirk playing across his lips.
A strange urge overtook me so quickly I didn't have time to fight it. My fingers reached up and brushed against the bruise for the second time today. The smirk left, but his eyes remained closed. Since he didn't pull away, my fingers traveled to down his neck and across his collarbone. I watched, in a trance, as his Adam's apple jumped. The heat of his skin traveled from my fingertips up my arm and through my chest.
"What are you doing, On'na?" His voice was deep, rumbling though his chest. I trembled at the sound, my breath hitching in my throat. Hesitantly, I reached back up and ghosted my index finger against his lips. They were softer than I expected, as smooth as silk compared my chapped ones. I wondered how they would feel pressed against my own. The hair on the back of my neck rose when his eyes opened to gaze into mine. The look that was usually either expressionless or cold looked soft, with a touch of feral. My fingertips slid back down to the hollow of his throat, just in time to feel the vibrations of his voice. "Stop." His voice was somewhere between a growl and somewhat of a whisper. I didn't want to anger him, but it felt like there was a static cling holding my skin to his. He reached up and grasped my wrist, but didn't move my hand away.
"Hiei…" It was the first time I had actually said his name aloud, and the sound of it seemed to make Hiei grip my wrist tighter and knit his eyebrows together. I kept my eyes locked with his, stepping forward and dropping my bō with a clatter.
"Don't…" His protests didn't seem real though, and the sound of his voice clouded my thoughts. My now empty hand slid from his firm abdomen to his broad chest, sending a thrill from the top of my skull to the soles of my bare feet. I felt the muscles under my palm tense and his breathing stopped. I knew he wanted this as much as I did though. Why else would he be here, alone with me while I was in heat?
'Heat, oh God.' My mind seemed to clear immediately, and I quickly stepped away.
"I- um…" What do you say in a situation like this? He let out his held breath and sent me one last odd look before leaving at once. I slid to the floor, looking at my palms. Was this what heat was? Would this fog haunt my mind all month? Would I not have any self-control? Was this only the beginning of it all?
This was going to be a long month.