Thank you so much for the reviews, I'm so glad you like my fic.

Amanda didn't call him.

Nick was a bit upset about it. Maybe she was offended by their conversation about Murphy? She didn't seem hurt when she left. She did look tired though.

"Have you seen Rollins?" it was Liv.

"Not since yesterday" he said, not mentioning the exact part of yesterday he'd last seen her.

"Fin?" she asked but he shook his head.

Nick could see Liv wasn't happy with this. Why would she be late? She tried to work hard to prove herself to Olivia, she wouldn't just give up on that, and for what?

Maybe she fell asleep?

The thought made Nick smile. That's probably it, she had a long day yesterday and she didn't get any sleep. He could imagine her sitting for a moment on her couch, closing her eyes – for just a second – and just drifting off.

"I'll call her" Fin said and dialed. Nick looked at him, she didn't seem to pick up.

"Just tell her to get here fast" Liv said and walked to her office.

"No luck?" Nick asked after Fin tried again.

"No"

"I'll go check on her" Nick said, he figured Fin already knew most of what was happening "she drove to Vermont yesterday, to talk to some guy, asked me to watch her dog"

"Diaz?" Fin asked and Nick nodded "Oh man" he smiled "I'm sure she's snoring real loud right now"

Driving to Amanda's place Nick wondered what she found out from Diaz. Hopefully he managed to shed some light on the whole thing. Nick knew she wanted to believe her father, who wouldn't? He just wanted everything to be resolved, for her.

He knocked on the door a few times but she didn't answer. What if she's still there? Or on her way back?

He tried calling her. Something seemed strange, he could hear a sound coming from her apartment.

It was her phone.

He knocked again, louder this time, and tried to both knock and call at the same time. But she didn't answer.

He could break the door if he had too, but he decided to try it first. The fact that it was unlocked worried him. But then he saw her.

She was lying in a pool of blood.

He hurried to her side, he could see her eyes were closed, her arms rested near her stomach. She was so pale.

For a moment he could only stare at her, but he came to his senses and called an ambulance. While waiting Nick tried to stop the bleeding, he put pressure on what seemed to be the wound, her blouse was now soaked with blood and he couldn't see clearly.

It felt like hours until the ambulance showed up. The EMTs took over quickly, getting her on the gurney. He could see them exchange a look. He said he'd ride with them to the hospital and they got down quickly.

He glanced back on the way out before he closed the door, the blood didn't look real. It couldn't be. There was so much of it. Nick felt like he couldn't breathe.

The ride to the hospital was a blur. Nick remembered the EMT asking him questions and he did his best to answer, but he felt useless. What was her blood type? He didn't know. Allergies? He thought she didn't have any.

He didn't know what happened. The EMT made a call to the hospital to let them know it was a stab wound, major blood loss. He watched him inject something into her vein.

He couldn't keep his eyes off her. She was lying there but it didn't seem like her, it was like looking at a ghost. The though made Nick feel sick, he had to close his eyes.

Finally the ambulance stopped and they moved her to a gurney. The EMT said something to the doctor as they made their way inside.

Nick stood there, staring at the door.

"Are you with her?" he heard a voice, it was a nurse.

"Yes" he managed to say.

"Lets go inside, you should wash your hands"

He looked down, his palms were red. It was Amanda's blood.

Washing the blood off his hands almost hurt. The water carrying it away made it feel almost unreal to him. But it was.

He couldn't wash away the picture of her on the floor no matter how many times he washed his face.

He called Fin to let him know he was at the hospital and then he just had to sit down and wait.

"Nick! What's going on?" Liv asked him, she had a worried look, matching Fin's. Nick didn't even notice them approaching him.

He shook his head and told them how the door was unlocked and how he saw her there.

"Nick" she said and gestured at his shirt, he wasn't aware he had blood on his shirt until now.

"Crap" he whispered.

"What did the doctors say?" Fin asked.

"Nothing yet, they took her somewhere. I don't know anything" he sighed, why didn't he check in on her earlier? He should have gone with her, he had a bad feeling about this.

"Nick?" he looked at Olivia, she must have asked him something and he wasn't listening "I asked if Amanda's in trouble again, do you know if she's gambling?"

"No" Nick answered and looked at Fin "no, I think she's been working really hard on staying clean, she…"

"It ain't about that Liv" Fin said "Amanda's dad's in town" he told Liv everything he knew.

She just looked at both of them, she did not expect this. She didn't know anything about Amanda's father.

"I'll go to her apartment, CSU is there now, I'm going to ask the detective who's handling the case to let us look in to it, let me know when you hear anything"

Fin followed Olivia with his eyes until she left "want me to go get you a shirt from the gift shop?" he asked Nick.

"Thanks" he tried to smile but just couldn't.

Amanda was standing in a beautiful garden.

The sky was clear, and there was a light wind blowing. She was barefoot and the grass felt soft underneath her feet. The flowers were colorful and it made her smile.

Walking felt so easy, it felt more like floating. She took a deep breath and the fresh air filled her lungs.

It was peaceful and Amanda felt calmer than she ever remembered being.

Walking through the garden the scenery started to change, the grass turned into sand and she was at a beach.

Still it felt nice, she could see and hear seagulls. She got closer to the water. The blue dress she was wearing in the garden turned into a one-piece swimsuit and she wanted to go into the water.

The water surrounding her body felt warm. Coming up everything changed again.

She was standing somewhere. She had no idea where, everything was dark. She carefully reached out to feel anything but there was nothing close to her. She panicked. She felt that the walls, if there were any, were closing in on her and she couldn't breath. She tried to move but it hurt, still she didn't want to just stand there.

She moved slowly without knowing where she's going. Suddenly she heard a noise she didn't recognize, she turned around and saw something.

It was a white spot somewhere far from her, she felt like she must reach it. She walked to the white spot, getting closer she felt both better and worst. Her head hurt, her body was aching but she needed to touch it, to know what it was.

The spot seemed to be growing, but as it did and as Amanda got closer she felt her feet going numb, the numbness was climbing, and soon she didn't feel anything anymore.

And suddenly it was all clear, it was a light. And it was swallowing her.