Chapter 13 - Veela and Minxes
Standard disclaimer – don't own any of JK Rowling's works, nor am I profiting from them.
Summary: Harry absorbed the Fiendfyre, sparing the survivors and families in Diagon Alley. The excess magic fractured Kenji's magical bindings and destroyed Harry's tracked wand. They barely survived the ensuing onslaught of Hit Wizards before making their escape to Japan. Harry had broken the only wand that could channel the Fade, the Elder Wand, so made Ollivander an offer to help him create a new wand. Harry went to St. Mungo's to check on the survivors and to fulfill a promise made while dueling Alecto.
A/N: Thank you all so much for your viewership, it is still quite a humbling experience to have people engaged in this story. Truthfully, it makes writing a bit easier and faster knowing your own story is interesting to others. A tad more dialogue in this chapter than usual, it is after all the first real time for Harry to speak to anyone properly since the final Battle.
Knocking quietly as he opened the door, he peered in and saw the blond haired Gryffindor sitting petrified at the intruder slipping into her room. The scarring on her neck and the gaunt look about her contrasted from her time at Hogwarts. Gone was her beauty and wonderful carefree smile, banished by the horrors of the last year and a half.
Harry drew the cloak off very slowly and looked deliberately into the sunken, haunted eyes of Lavender Brown. It was time to retrieve one of his Lions.
Harry slowly eased himself into Lavender's room, if Alecto was truthful, then Greyback's attack would be the second she would have suffered this year. Harry may have been ignorant of a girl's moods or emotions, but he knew about abuse and suffering. He allowed himself an ironic, grim smile; those years of living with the Dursleys actually gave him the ability to relate to her. He kept his hands up and made no sudden movements as he settled into a conjured chair, staying a respectable distance from his fellow classmate. Lavender just watched him with fearful eyes. It was disconcerting, her deadened eyes, as if he was convincing a corpse to come back to life.
As the silence lengthened in the room, he realized that either Lavender couldn't talk due to Greyback's ravaging, or she had lost the will to talk, to communicate. She had retreated from the world, much as he had after Sirius' passing and it was now his place to light the way back. Something that Ginny had done for me. The first necessity was to accept the horrible circumstances actually happened, but for all of the injustices lain at Lavender's feet, it seemed almost too difficult a topic to broach.
Harry sat in the uncomfortable silence, deciding exactly how to lay Lavender's soul bare without destroying the last vestiges of her dignity. His troubled face, at last, caught her attention and the barest flicker of recognition sparked in her gaze. Gently now.
"Lavender" his voice was barely a whisper, but it echoed loudly through the barren room. "It's Harry". Patronizing and obvious, great going, Harry.
"Look" he rebuked himself harshly, "I … I know we weren't the best of friends at school, but you are one of the Lions I left at Hogwarts … I left you at Hogwarts" he repeated himself because he couldn't stomach the next sentence he had to say. While Lavender didn't respond to his admission, she did begin to focus on him more, trying to make sense of his disquiet.
"I left to keep you all safe, I thought it would be enough, but I had no idea … no idea at what I was leaving you to. Of everyone", Harry stared sadly into Lavender's broken visage, "you, most of all, paid for my mistake and suffered because of it."
Lavender's eyes widened at Harry's confession and instinctively raised a hand to stop him. "No, Lav, I know I didn't do it on purpose, but the consequences are there. Now I have the chance to help. And you need help." Harry winced at how harsh that sounded and made a painful decision to share his life to prove she wasn't alone. "I know you need help because it was the same help I needed. You feel violated, tainted. I don't presume to know what it was like for you, but I do understand that feeling." Harry paused as he regained his voice to keep it from faltering. "I had a piece of Voldemort's soul buried within mine. And before I even knew about that …"
Harry unbuttoned his shirt slowly turning his back to her. It was mainly for Lavender, to give her the space to deal with him taking his shirt off, but it was also for him, he hated to see the pity and shame reflected when revealing his secret. "I won't touch you Lav, but there is something you need to see and something I need to show." Harry shrugged off his shirt exposing his back to her, showing the scars of his childhood and the deep furrows of his transformation. Lavender's eyes, hidden from Harry's, winced in understanding and sympathy even as she forced bile back down her throat at seeing the raw, seeping wounds of silver.
He whispered quietly as he turned back to her pulling his shirt back around him, "I know what is like to feel unwanted and abandoned, tainted, and to want to give up, like you did with Greyback. I know you need help, and I can give you that help … as a ward of the House of Potter."
Her eyes widened with the obvious question as to why. "Lav, your life is important to me, there were so many others who didn't make it or were abandoned … helping you, helps me confront my own past, to ensure no one else would ever suffer like that again. I want to help, but I understand your anger for all things altruistic. Like these healers that have you in isolation, for your own good." Harry chuckled darkly as the harsh lessons learned of "altruism" from both Dumbledore and his Healer. "If not selflessness, than know it would also ease my guilt."
"As far as you being a dark creature… my surrogate godfather was a full werewolf and if people knew of my soul connection to Voldemort … well … we know it would be like during our second, fourth, and fifth years. People don't need facts to assume I turned dark as well. Merely a newspaper or the Ministry. Tell me you will at least consider it." Lavender's eyes looked less sure of her terrible fate and Harry pounced on the wavering of her resignation and plowed forward with his brutal honesty.
"There is more to living than breathing and existing. I don't know if you can recover, but I would like to help you try. Or you can stay here and brood over your existence, trust me, I have an O in the subject, as no doubt, Hermione, Parvati, Luna, or Ginny would tell you." As he ticked off the names of girls at Hogwarts on his fingers, the gentle rebuke lost a lot of its sting and Lavender felt herself breaking into a small knowing grin, the first since …
He saw the waves of disgust and depression crash back against her; it was so eerily similar to his struggle with Hideki after Ginny crushed his spirit. "Hey … hey, I am still right here Lav, it's impossible I know, but don't be ashamed to smile … or to ask for help." The guilt of being happy or smiling after something so terrible felt so ... frivolous, so indecent when facing rape or war. He knew it took time and a lot of courage, but he also knew Lavender was not a Gryffindor for nothing.
He slowly placed his hand on her bed but didn't touch her, and waited. The tension in the room grew as a great battle was waging within Lavender's mind. He felt her answer as the tension ebbed before she did anything. She finally relented and barely brushed her hand against his and nodded slowly with tears slowly brimming in her eyes.
"Good, for now get healthy and I will be in touch." He saw the fear in her eyes at being left alone again, and he reassured her that he would always know of how she was doing and where Amycus was at all times. "My elf, Kreacher, can assist you whenever you need it, just call for him. If your voice isn't up to it, then use your DA galleon. He has mine. He will make twice daily checkups in case you need something, like better food, a friendly ear, whatever you need. He may look a bit different, but trust me he is all you could ask for. I will be back tomorrow morning at the latest." He gripped her hand and sent a friendly squeeze. The contact brought a little life back to her eyes and he smiled in acknowledgment.
As he left her room, he did so with a renewed sense of purpose. Lavender was healing and would come around; he knew they were not that different. They both needed time, support, and a reason to keep going. She would have to supply her own reason, but he could give her the other two. And if she accepted the protection of his House and subsequently the Legion, then maybe they could restore each other.
Harry's senses were on high alert leaving the still quiet main floor and reentering the maelstrom of the floor housing the attack's victims. He found himself hunched in the hallway to the Spell Damage ward on the fourth floor, listening intently to the quiet argument between Arthur Weasley and Kingsley Shacklebolt.
"My children were there dammit, and what the hell took the Aurors so long?" Arthur was raging in a way that Harry had never seen before. He actually thought of Arthur as being a bit of a pushover to Mrs. Weasley's meddling and control, but that obviously wasn't the case when his children were concerned. "Death Eaters, Kingsley, in the Alley and if the Aurors I talked to were truthful, Harry was there and rescued a lot of families." It touched Harry that Arthur's eyes were full of pride and concern.
"Kingsley, I know what the Prophet is writing about him, and Ginny told me she was in the Alley today digging into her and Harry's lives. Get the truth out about Harry…"
"I can't Arthur, he's not supposed to be here. The Unspeakables say he is uncontrolled and dangerous, that he is transforming into something dark. For Merlin's sake, you saw to that Hit Wizard; he burned for over an hour." Shacklebolt's voice was almost pleading to drop the subject entirely.
"Bullshit, you may believe that but I don't. I spoke to my children who said that Harry was under siege by those same Hit Wizards and they weren't casting tickling charms. They were purple and black ones, Minister." Arthur managed to keep much of the frustration out of voice, but it still registered for Kingsley. "Take off your Minister's cloak and listen to what you are saying. This is Harry…" Harry looked bewildered at both Arthur's swearing and his ferocity, it seemed that the war had forged a hard edge to the Weasley patriarch as well.
Kingsley looked abashed and knew that his responsibilities as Minister clouded his judgment. "I know that Arthur, but if you hear from him, tell him to stay out of Britain, or to stay low and out of sight. The Ministry isn't as secure as we would like. After this, the wolves will be out and looking for blood, Harry is the only ace we have in protecting this reformation. The Purists will demand a more cautious approach and we all know what they want, we saw it last year." His admission was almost too quiet for Harry to hear, but it allowed him to exhale. Harry wasn't wrong about his friend; he was being boxed in on all sides also.
Kingsley was protecting him and his good name, doing exactly what I did to Ginny, with the added bonus of keeping the entire wizarding government from collapsing. The irony was not lost on him, nor the annoyance of being patronized. Great, one more thing to apologize to Ginny for. The tally was rising quickly, but before making all his amends to the fiery witch, he had to check the health of Ron; he knew Kreacher had done a good job on him but he had to make sure all the same.
He slipped into his best mate's room and smirked slightly as he saw Hermione keeping a vigil over his recovering body. Harry looked them both over, Hermione was fine and Ron seemed to be recovering nicely. His breathing was no longer labored and his sleeping face was relatively pain free. She looked up with sleepy eyes and caught his gaze, even under the invisibility cloak and smiled as relief poured over her. "Harry?"
He grinned as he pulled off the cloak, "How did you know?"
Her smile faltered somewhat and she pointed to the floor at a few drops of the quicksilver essence that had dripped from the hem of his cloak. "Harry … what is going on with you? You are leaking silvery blood. Before you left the store, Kreacher said something … something about changing and mentioned the Peverells?"
"I don't know Hermione, something happened to me when I killed Tom, something that has to do with my ancestor Ignotus." He couldn't outright lie to his best friend, but he wasn't ready to share the little factual information he had. Already he was worried he revealed too much for he saw the wheels spinning in her mind. Hermione was sure to go to the library at Hogwarts when she returned, and the fewer people who knew the safer they would all be. "What happened after we left the Alley?"
"First off, who is this we? I am not sure I like this friend. He seems … dangerous." She tapped her foot impatiently. Hermione, always trying to connect the dots.
"He is … my mentor, I guess. He and his father have helped me try to corral whatever this change is. And yes, he is dangerous. I think he killed at least five Death Eaters outside the Leaky." Hermione's eyes narrowed at either that admission or how he seemingly said it with a flat tone. "I know you don't want a killer to be my teacher, but Hermione, I am a killer too. Tom, Alecto, Stevens ..."
"And that Hit Wizard." Hermione said in a curt whisper as the weight of Harry's actions pressed in on her pristine image of her best friend. Harry tried to look impassive at his deeds, but she saw that the Hit Wizard's death cost him with how his eyes fell to the floor momentarily. It soothed her to see that despite being a killer, her Harry was not dark or callous. He would defend himself, and truthfully that battle became a lethal one quickly. Harry was a good man, but she feared what the last year and a half would have done to him.
"So the families were ok, you all were ok?" Harry tried not to seem desperate, but he didn't want another one of his disappearances to end up like Hogwarts last year.
"We are all ok, even Ginny. Though she might be a lot more angry at you than I am." Hermione chuckled at Harry's paling face as she pointed at the silvery liquid pooling on the floor. "You promised her."
Harry nodded. "I know. I have a lot of explaining to do. If you see Neville, tell him to see his parents. He might appreciate some good news, and tell Ron thanks for ... everything." He hated to cut time with Hermione short, but he had to see Ginny, no matter how angry she would be for risking his life again or how many times it seemed he would be apologizing.
Hermione's face fell as he stood to leave. She hoped this wasn't another goodbye but those were Ministry officials trying to take him in the Alley. Hermione enveloped him in a warm embrace and made him promise to visit them. Harry's promises were like Unbreakable Vows, it may not be soon, but he would visit. Even so, her best friend was leaving and only Merlin knew when she would see him again.
Harry must have sensed her disquiet and came back to her from the door. He kissed her cheek almost reverently and with a wistful smile stepped from the room. Hermione felt the warmth of his lips burning on her skin and sighed. Damn Harry, it's impossible not to fancy him a little.
He stood in front of the door to Ginny's room trying to corral his emotions and steel himself for Ginny's temper. He hated to be so guarded, but she had and could always cut him deeply with her words. The despair he felt only a few months ago proved that, but it was also true that she could and had inspired him, to be a better man, to defeat Voldemort, and to fight to return here, to her where he belonged.
He slowly exhaled as all of this planning and thinking wouldn't mean a damn thing once he was in there. Sirius would be laughing at how nervous he was. About a woman no less, not the Dark Lord, or death eaters. A woman. He took solace in believing that even his father, charismatic and arrogant as he was, must have been this nervous when he realized he was in love with his mother. Apologies in hand, he slipped quickly into the room and was surprised to see it partially occupied.
It was sheer luck that both Bill and Fleur were focused on the rather petite Healer hovering over Ginny's sleeping body. Harry cursed at how careless he was, after the shock of almost revealing himself had passed. All that training and you just walk right in. Brilliant, Harry you dolt. Mercifully, both the Weasleys would have been alright with his appearance, but the Healer was definitely a stranger. She was uncommonly beautiful and with her slow whispering in French, he concluded she was with Fleur and likely a Veela healer. She looked very young to be a full Healer, so she must have been a nurse in training, called in to duty due to all of the injuries suffered that morning and afternoon. That would explain her appearance without a full Healer. Probably just offering some reassurance to Fleur and Bill.
His eyes widened in concern as she pulled out her wand and began a slow incantation. Harry watched the complicated wand motions and recognized the charm immediately. He was intimately familiar with this particular deep, intrusive Diagnostic charm. Madam Pomfrey's favorite. He reflexively looked at Ginny, wondering what he could have missed, or Merlin forbid, where he hurt her with his healing earlier.
He glanced back to the Healer for some confirmation and noticed the beads of sweat collecting on her brow in exertion, dripping down to her pale blue eyes. Eyes that he remembered but belonged to a girl much younger than the nurse in front of him. Eyes that belonged to Gabrielle Delacour.
Harry barely managed to stifle his sharp intake of breath. The girl in front of him had to be at least fourteen, but he knew her to be … twelve? But her eyes told a different story, they were weighed down with expectation and … resentment, resignation, obligation? It was a stark contrast to the last time he saw her at Bill's wedding, but again that was a completely different time, a happier time.
His concern for her evaporated quickly as the soft hush of the cloak swirled around his legs, and all three of them turned to locate the sound. Harry froze in place and stilled his rapid breathing. He knew he didn't have long until Bill's keen senses detected either the burnt smell of his flesh or the foreign smell of raw magic seeping into his cloak. Bloody werewolf senses. It seemed his choice was made for him when Fleur eyes opened in surprise and cleared her throat.
"Bill, could you get me some coffee and get Gabrielle some juice, I am afraid she pushed herself a bit far with that last charm. I'll stay here to look after her and Ginny until you get back." Bill seemed reluctant to leave, but Fleur pushed a bit of her allure out and gave him a cheeky wink. "Sorry, love, but I really am thirsty." Bill stumbled a bit with a silly smirk and mumbled something about Veela and minxes. Harry suppressed a snort, but kept his eyes on the two Veela witches. Fleur knew something and he had to be ready for anything, the fact that she sent Bill away meant she wasn't too concerned, or she might just assault him with her and Gabrielle's allure. While it would be a good way to go, I am pretty sure Ginny would be furious. And with my resistance to the allure … Harry shook the enticing images from his mind, Fleur and Gabrielle didn't know it was him, so he had to be ready. But he was not ready for what happened next.
"Harry, is that you?" Gabrielle's light tinkling voice cut through the haze in his mind. His eyes narrowed in surprise, he didn't think the confrontation would come to a head this quickly. "Harry?" Gabrielle repeated again into the empty air. "I know you are there, I can … feel you." She began cautiously moving forward with her arms outstretched in front of her, searching.
He sighed and pulled off the cowl to his cloak slowly to not scare anyone and whispered, "Here, in the corner." His eyes were pensive but his smile was genuine. "Hello Gabrielle, Fleur, I am surprised to see you here." Harry moved to face the Veela but kept a chair in between them.
"Harry" Gabrielle breathed as she took in his tanned face. Here he was, just where the Honored Mothers said he would be, just as they told her she would be able to feel his presence. She didn't dare consider whether all of what they said was true or not, after all, it was the first time they had seen each other since both of them started changing.
"Harry, can you please take off the rest of the cloak. It is a bit … disconcerting to talk to a floating head and I would like my sister to run a few tests on you as well." Fleur spoke this time, and it was with the commanding presence of someone who was used to having her way. Oh Bill, how the mighty have fallen. Her face was inscrutable as Harry broke out in a gleaming grin which quickly fell as he remembered the scarred Weasley.
"Are you sure you just sent Bill for coffee?" There were Aurors and the Ministry everywhere and Harry knew he wasn't remotely safe here. The genuine indignation on Fleur's face at the accusation told him what he needed to know from the loaded question. As he pulled off his cloak, Harry held up his hand in apology, "I am sorry Fleur, Gabrielle, I just had to make sure; things are not safe here." For me. He was going to continue but Gabrielle closed the distance quickly and snatched his hand out of the air.
Harry winced in pain as his wand hand was being manhandled, but he pulled his new holly wand and palmed it in his left hand as the younger Veela manipulated his hand. Just in case. Her face had an angry blazing look to it that definitely reminded him of Ginny. He glanced over at her again, to make sure she was alright.
"Harry, how did this happen!" Gabrielle brandishing his hand like a weapon against him. Despite the pain, Harry gave an indignant snort, "By being Harry Potter." It seemed the Delacours were not in the mood for dark humor judging by the scowling looks on their faces. Harry sighed, "I did it. Seems my old wand didn't work as well as I hoped when the Ministry, Hit Wizards, and Fiendfyre attacked." He snapped back sullenly, his first answer was much more accurate than the second. Shit like that just seems to happen to me. He began to feel self-conscious as both Veela were eyeing him, measuring him for something.
Gabrielle was close enough that he could smell the faint scent of freesia and honeysuckle and he caught her eyes appraising him. She pinked slightly and as if just remembering their positions and dropped his hand like it was still on fire. Harry searched for her eyes and asked both of them, but stared into Gabrielle's eyes, "Why are you here?" and in a quieter whisper, "You are different, older, Gabby."
Fleur's response was muted with Gabrielle's reply, "You are too, Harry." She leaned in to him suddenly with a throaty whisper, "When you are ready, the Veela will be waiting." Her voice wavered slightly and she breathed, "I, also, will be waiting" with a small push of her maturing allure. She pulled away from him sensually much to the chagrin and annoyance of her sister, who was glaring at her hawkishly.
Harry cocked an eyebrow as he tried to make sense of what happened. He almost laughed when he considered the overt and shameless invitation by a twelve year old girl, but caught himself when he glanced at Gabrielle's face. It was masking a troubled look and impossibly hopeful, but tinged with a fear of something, like rejection. He coughed slightly and was about to speak when Fleur cut across him. "Gabrielle, I think we should check on Bill. And give them their privacy." She was curt, leaving no room for arguing, but her sister seemed frightened even more and Harry was sure he had seen that look before, but he couldn't remember where.
"Gabrielle, a word please. It's about Ginny. It won't take more than a moment." He told Fleur as he didn't take his eyes of the younger Veela, gauging her reaction to the request. Fleur seemed surprised but acquiesced. Ginny shifted slightly on her bed as if she could hear Harry asking about her as she slept.
"Harry" Gabrielle's throaty whisper left nothing to the imagination as she languidly moved towards him again.
"It's Lord Potter." Harry snapped back angrily, his face darkening. "What has happened to you Gabby? You are not the same girl I knew." He hoped his anger would speak some sense into her but he hated to see the crushed innocent look on her face. She finally resembled the precocious twelve year old Harry knew instead of playing at being an older seductress.
He bent down slightly to look in her pale blue eyes. "Now there, that is the Gabby I remember." The warmth returned to his voice as he saw a slight smile grace her lips. "You know you can talk to me, about anything right? Even if it has to do with Veela." He had guessed that if she was speaking for the Veela and his transformation, then they too had a vested interest in him. And the Delacours are their liaisons to me. It would make sense, they already knew Harry and he was on good terms with both of the sisters, with one married into his best mate's family and they were a powerful French family. He could do worse for possible allies, but Gabrielle's behavior was definitely out of character. She was flaunting herself ... like an offering. It took all of his control to not recoil from that guess, for the truth of it tasted of ash in his mouth.
He bored into Gabrielle's eyes and saw that same fleeting look he couldn't quite remember. He quickly gave her a hug and kissed her forehead gently to allay her fears, "It was good to see you Gabby, now go see Fleur, she must be going spare by now. We wouldn't want her to think I was taking liberties…" Harry finished with a knowing wink which made her young cheeks bloom crimson. It was good to see that for all her duty and posturing, Gabrielle was still an innocent girl.
As she left, Harry sat back in the chair looking over Ginny. She was achingly beautiful with her splayed hair like sunrise across the white pillows. He remembered back to when they weren't so troubled, those blissful weeks when Dumbledore was …
Harry's eyes widened when the fleeting memory of that fearful look crystallized into thought. It was the same look of angst and trouble of Draco Malfoy their sixth year. The look of failing to meet impossible expectations.
"What was that, Gabrielle?" Fleur barely let the door close on the room before rounding on her sister angrily. "That was Ginny's room. It was neither the time nor the place."
"I know Fleur, and Harry knew something was amiss, but not all of us are afforded the perfect time or opportunity. And not all of us are as selfish as others." Gabrielle spoke pointedly with her older sister, reclaiming some new found maturity. "We are Delacours, did you just think that the Mothers would be satisfied with your decision?"
Fleur recoiled as if she had been slapped. She knew her marriage to Bill was unconventional for a number of reasons, but had no idea what repercussions would travel to her sister. She knew the customs of her race in respect to subsequent daughters of Veela with high social standing, but Gabrielle's anger towards her was personal.
"Don't worry Fleur, I know where my place is with him, it's where we have always been; he made it quite clear." She sighed heavily and worriedly looked back to Ginny's room. She hoped it wasn't too forward, too much of a shock and put him off. She knew her responsibilities, but she wasn't prepared how much seeing Harry would affect her. It had been over one year since her sister's wedding, one year since her fate began to dovetail into his.
Fleur watched the anxiety bloom in her Gabrielle's face and placed her arm around her slight sister. "Gabrielle, it will not be decided tonight or even soon. You were chosen, just as he was. You both may have much more in common than you think. He could help you. Harry has become a very perceptive teenag …"
"Lord, a perceptive Lord." Gabrielle corrected and Fleur nodded. "Wherever he has been since the War, he knows a lot more about himself and us than we thought."
Fleur considered the matter as they walked towards the stairs to the main floor with a growing grin, "We will have to talk to Mama and Papa, and the Coven probably as well, especially if Harry knows. Now come, we have to find Bill, I think I may have used a bit too much allure on him."
Harry sat alternately staring at Ginny and lost in thought at what Gabrielle could possibly be dealing with that would weigh on her so heavily. He hoped that it wasn't his initial guess but it would make explain her anxiety and overtures. If it was an offering, then the Veela didn't know him very well, he wouldn't put Gabrielle in that position or any other girl for that matter.
He heard a rustle of sheets as Ginny turned slightly again and as Harry focused on the petite witch, noticed that her breathing was slightly irregular for someone deep asleep. He smiled broadly at her beautiful face as a wicked plan formed in his mind. He slowly eased his way to her bedside and noting how shallow her breathing became, leaned in close to her lips brushing them softly as he moved to her ear and whispered, "How long Ginny?"
"Long enough … Lord Potter." She murmured at the faint touch of his lips. "I wanted to kill Gabrielle for what she did." Her eyes flashed dangerously and he had the good sense to quiet her temper.
"Easy Ginny, I have no idea what's wrong with Gabrielle, but I intend to find out." Harry sighed disapprovingly at Ginny narrowing eyes, "Not that way, silly. I just needed to rattle her a little."
"Ok" but Ginny's eyes were still flaring. "It's just that when I close my eyes all I keep seeing is you burning and then disappearing, again." Ginny didn't seem particularly enraged at him, more concerned. Harry couldn't blame her; he made life hellacious or those who cared about him and then she had to endure watching a girl throw herself at him in her own room.
So here we go. Apologies at the ready. Harry began to sort through the many apologies to make, when Ginny startled him by taking his hand and placing it on her cheek. It seemed to confirm that yes, Harry was there, real and well enough. "Harry, I am so sorry for what I said at Fred's funeral, I know how you felt … in the forest." Her voice faltered and she whispered, "You aren't a coward." The shame of those words dropped her eyes to her bed.
Harry's hand cupped her chin and brought her gaze back to his, "It's ok, I did leave, but it was because…" Whatever reason there could have been was cut off by Ginny's angry wave of her hand.
"Don't … don't tell me it was for my own good, and do not tell me that I deserved better or to be safer." Her voice was a bit shrill and he cast a quick silencing spell on the door. "Mum, Ron, and my family are always deciding for me, just earlier she was saying how I was still in school and shouldn't have been out in the Alley." Harry winced but absorbed it all. It was, after all, one of the things he would have apologized for anyways.
Ginny's temper was even but running a bit hot and gaining steam. "You don't get to tell me whether I can fight with you. You don't get to tell me what I deserve. You don't get to tell me who I am allowed to be with." She snapped with an angry flourish, crossing her arms and fixing him with her glare.
Harry nodded his agreement mutely. He did to her what Kingsley, Hideki and earlier Dumbledore did to him, patronize him, decide what he could and couldn't handle. Because he was just a boy. He argued with himself. But a boy who was expected to fight and die for everyone. He had wanted to protect Ginny, but so had the others for him. It seemed such an absurd argument for a near eighteen year old to have that the mere thought angered him all over again. It seemed that he was lashing out in kind; like learned behavior; the abused becomes the abuser. The thought made his heart stop and his blood run cold.
Ginny saw that Harry was lost in thought and with how his eyes were hard and unyielding; it was not a pleasant thought and became less so when a look of pure self-loathing emerged, most likely spurred but what she said. Which was exactly what she did not want. Yes, she needed to let him know how she felt, but she also had more of her own apologies to make. And most importantly, she needed him to know she was and would be there for him, angry or not, apologetic or not.
Her small soft hand snapped him out of his thoughts as it rested on his. "Harry" her voice was soft having lost her anger and sounded vulnerable. She wanted and needed to say something, something that scared her to know the answer. Harry could see her gathering courage and braced himself.
"Did you mean it … what you said … in the Alley?" Her eyes were bright as stars and Harry saw her hands shaking slightly. All of those devastating things she said, all of the apologies they both had to make, all of it faded and Harry was left with a swell in his chest and the answer slipped easily from his lips.
"Yes, Ginny. Every word."