I am SOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO sorry about the time to take me to write this!!!!!!!!! Between school, choir, and a certain problems with my friends I have taken way too much time to update I promise that I will never be this late again so don't expect this to happen again.
The song that James and Sirius sing to Bellatrix and Bret was written by my incredibly brilliant writer and best friend Brittanie who without I would not have half of my funny inspiration. Also I really want some feed back on how you guys fell about the story so PLEASE REVIEW because I would like to know what bothers you and what dosen't because I write for you guys!!! God Bless and have a happy turkey Day!!!
-KT
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"Tell me Bellsum do you always come to things late or is it just me that has that effect on you." Sirius asked as he watched the four girls walk into the room.
"Tell me Black are you always this much of an asshole to everyone or do I just spark an interest in you." Kat shot back before sitting on the floor in between Paige and Lisi.
"Bellsum will you have my baby?" Sirius asked as he sat down next to her.
"Sure as soon as the meetings done." Kat barked out waiting for James to start.
"So I guess the two of you have been wondering what happened this morning…" Remus said looking at Paige and Lisi.
Kat listened as Remus explained why they were here and everything before telling them about his furry little secret. He started to explain how he became a werewolf when Kat felt something feathery on her leg. She looked down to see a piece of parchment with neat script writing on her knee that read:
What will we name him? –Sirius (The father of your child.)
Kat laughed at the note before putting down a response.
Who says it's a he? I think that it's a she! – Kat (Your baby Mama)
She heard Sirius suppress a laugh before scribbling on the paper.
There is no way in hell that the baby I create will be a girl… my little swimmers are not girly! – Sirius (Who does not have girly sperm)
Kat found herself shaking she was trying so hard not to laugh before writing her response to him.
Actually I could name a couple things that are girly about you, sperm included. – Kat (Who is positive Sirius has girly sperm)
Oh yeah well I think you are manly in more ways than one – Sirius (who thinks Kat is manly)
Are you saying that you would shag a man? – Kat (Who now thinks Sirius is gay)
I would not shag a man!!! I am so not gay!!! – Sirius (who does not shag men!!!)
But you called me a man and said you would shag me – Kat (Who knows Sirius' dirty little secret)
I would never call you a man! – Sirius (who does not think Kat is a man)
Whatever you say Black… What baby name do you like? – Kat (who is not sure if Sirius is a man)
I like the name Jacob… Jacob Black – Sirius (who is a man and will prove it to you in a broom cupboard)
Our baby is a girl!!! G-I-R-L… GIRL! GIRL!! GIRL!!! – Kat (who thinks she is better in a broom cupboard than Sirius)
I am not breeding another you… I could be shunned from society for doing a thing like that! – Sirius (who challenges you to a broom cupboard snog session for one hour)
Just give me a fricken girls name already! – Kat (who accepts that challenge)
Fine I like the name Beatrice for a girl… - Sirius (who will challenge you on Friday after detention)
Beatrice it is… I hope she looks like me though. - Kat (who asks Mr. Black to prepare himself because when she is done with him he will worship the ground she walks on)
Can she at least have my eyes? I mean I am the child's father. – Sirius (who is going to have you in that cupboard begging for more when he is done)
Fine she has to have one flaw… no one can be perfect – Kat (who rocks Sirius Black's socks)
"And that concludes our meeting. Any questions?" James asked yawning and standing up.
"Can we find a place other than the room of requirement to have our meetings…? I hate it in here." Paige said pulling up Lisi.
"We have found every nook and cranny in Hogwarts; this is the most secretive place for us." Remus said leaning on the wall.
"Actually there is one place that's not on your little map that we… discovered." Kat said tucking the note in her robes.
"WHAT?" All four boys yelled at the same time.
"Show us… now!" James and Sirius yelled.
"Let us clean it up first and put some blocking charms on it and then we will show you where it is the next time we have a meeting… about two weeks from today." Kat said before turning away with her friends and walking out the door to the common rooms.
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The next day had been a stressful one to say the least. The girls had gone through seven straight classes of notes, charm casting, and potion making to last them a lifetime… not to mention they did it all with the marauders who were now following them out to the grounds.
"We have spent the entire day with you. Do you really have to follow us on our only brake period?" Kat fumed sitting underneath the tree closest to the lake.
"Yes actually. We have something to give you." James said before loosening his tie with his fingers.
The four girls watched as Sirius pulled out a gold and red box out of his pocket and handed it to James.
"If you are planning on proposing to me, Potter, then I swear I will shove that ring up your ever loving ass." Lily said pulling out her book and leaning against the tree.
James didn't do anything but smile at his best friend before opening the box and revealing four different colored bracelets with the word marauder printed in them in gold.
"What are those for?" Lily asked raising her eyebrows at the bracelet James had latched onto her wrist.
"Just a little something to show how much we appreciate your decision." Sirius said before pulling out a bracelet the same color of his eyes.
"Black if you think you are going to put that on me…" Kat said before getting tackled by James and Peter. She could feel Sirius pulling her wrist and snapping on the bracelet before muttering something.
James and Peter got off of her and she could practically hear the laughter Sirius was trying to hold in. "Black, it's really a shame that you went to all that trouble to put that bracelet on me when I can just take it off… WHY IN THE HELL WON'T IT COME OFF?" Kat yelled at Sirius who was in full force laughter.
"I put a permanent sticking charm on it. The one my mum used to keep her portrait connected to the house." Sirius said laughing in between his words.
"WHAT?! WHY IN THE HELL WOULD YOU DO SOMETHING SO STUPID? DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA WHAT THIS COULD DO TO ME? I WILL ALWAYS HAVE YOU," Kat pointed into his chest, her face red from anger. "ON ME!"
Kat had heard as well as most of the wizarding world that Walburga Black of the sticking charm put on her own portrait. People from all over the world had tried to find a spell that would reverse the effects but had found nothing. She should have known that Sirius would pull this kind of crap.
"I SWEAR THAT IS THE LAST STRAW!" Kat screamed before jumping on Sirius.
Sirius who had been laughing with James fell to the ground with Kat on top of him, trying to block her punches.
"Look Bret, it's my cousin, the mudblood lover." Kat heard a pointed voice say. She looked up to see Bellatrix Black and Bret Tonic standing over them. She felt Sirius starting to get up and leapt off of him before watching as him and James walked up to the two girls.
"Bitches and hoes, bitches and hoes everywhere I go I see bitches and hoes." They sang looking down at the two girls with smiles.
"James, why is it everywhere we go we see bitches and hoes?" Sirius asked James who was looking at him with wide eyes.
"I don't know but everywhere we go we see…" James said back to Sirius.
"Bitches and hoes." They said simultaneously smiling at the two girls who were now red from anger.
Kat couldn't hold in her laughter at the two girls shocked faces.
"You think that's funny, mudblood?" Bret asked with a hiss.
"No actually… it was hilarious." Kat said before laughing harder with her friends. She could see that Remus, who was trying hard not to laugh, was grinning and shaking from lack of air.
"Who in the hell do you think you are?" Bellatrix asked pointing her wand at Kat's neck with a sudden viciousness.
Kat could see James and Sirius coming closer, the smiles whipped clean off their faces. "Actually I believe I am now a Black." Kat said noticing the name Sirius Black imprinted into the little bracelet. She smiled up at Bellatrix who was about a foot taller than her and raised her wrist to show her.
"What in the hell is that, Sirius? You think your mother would like it if she knew about the Black name being on filth? Are you stupid enough to believe that the Black name and household mean nothing?" Bellatrix said in a low voice before snapping her fingers. When nothing happened she snapped them again an agitated look on her sharp features. "Why in the hell isn't it coming off?" she asked Kat through clenched teeth.
"Because, fortunately for me your lovely cousin put a sticking charm on it… the one his mother used." Kat said. She couldn't help but smile at the look on the two Slytherins' faces, who were looking at the bracelet with sudden disgust.
"Meet your new cousin." Sirius asked before smiling at Peter who was giggling at his friends' joke. "We are thinking about a December wedding… I don't know though I kind of like spring."
"Sirius baby, why don't you tell them about the addition to our family?" Kat said playing along with Sirius. She would have usually scoffed at the idea of her joking alongside Sirius Black, much less pretending to have his baby, but she wouldn't pass up the chance to irritate Slytherins.
"WHAT?" Bellatrix and Bret asked their mouths hanging open in sudden shock that they would say something like this.
"Her name is Beatrice… although thanks for guessing." Sirius grinned before putting an arm around Kat. They could hear people coming closer and whispering, making a circle around the group.
"Me and Lily are the godparents." James smiled before kissing Lily on the cheek. Lily who looked liked she wanted to smack James across the face suddenly laughed and hugged his chest.
"IS THAT SUPPOSED TO BE FUNNY? WAIT TILL I TELL YOUR MOTHER!" Bellatrix exclaimed she was holding onto Bret's arm for support as she heard various amounts of laughter by the crowd surrounding her.
"What? We're sending out announcements as soon as we get married." Sirius said feigning innocence. The look he gave his cousins made Kat and her group of friends giggle.
Before Bellatrix could respond a girl in hot pink with wavy brown hair and glasses ran in between her and Bret making them tumble to the ground. "I KNEW IT! I SWEAR THE MINUTE I SAW YOU TRYING TO GET MY MAN THAT YOU WOULD TRY TO GET KNOCKED UP SO YOU COULD KEEP HIM TO YOURSELF." She screamed at Kat her wand poking her in the chest. She changed directions to see Sirius who was looking at her like she grew two heads. "Sirius, please, I promise I could be a better wife then her. Let me have your baby."
"Who are you?" Sirius asked raising his eyebrows at the girl.
"I'm your future wife and mother of your children. Unlike that slut I won't use you." She said glaring at Kat who was giving the girl a death glare.
Sirius looked at the girl and then at Kat who was trying to conceal a smile. "Does this look like she's using me?" Sirius asked before grabbing Kat and smiling wickedly. He leaned down quickly and kissed Kat with full force, shoving his tongue in her small mouth.
Kat, aggravated with Sirius' act, bit his tongue which was trying to push its way down her throat with every painful second.
"Ow, what in the hell was that for?" Sirius said jumping back from Kat.
"Me and the girls have to get going… we want to clean up our play house." Kat laughed before grabbing her books and heading into the castle.
"Kat, no, please don't leave me! I love you." Sirius fake sobbed as he watched the four girls laugh their way through the castle doors, each with a bracelet.
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"I can't believe he would pull shit like that." Lisi asked sitting in an overstuffed armchair they had stolen from a utility room they saw on the marauders map.
The girls had spent the entire afternoon setting up the large room behind the painting of five ballerinas on the third floor. Kat had found this place in her second year when she accidently tapped the painting with her wand to see a door way that revealed a room bigger than the Gryffindor common room. They had occasionally used it but had never found it important; until now.
"Does it really surprise you?" Paige laughed sitting on the floor next to Lisi's chair. "I mean he tries to kiss Kat all the time."
"Not that you idiot, I was talking about the bracelet." Lisi said hitting Paige over the head with her book.
"Oh, well in that case I agree. Do you know the gossip that is going to start?" Paige said looking at Kat her eyes wide with warning.
"He permanently glued his name to my wrist and all you can think about is the gossip?" Kat said disbelieving, achieving a laugh from Lily.
"Well it's not like you don't love him." Lily said laughing a little harder at the look on Kat's face.
"I DO NOT LOVE NOR WILL I EVER LOVE SIRIUS BLACK!" Kat yelled throwing her arms up in defeat.
"Denial." The other three girls said in unison.
"Well, I think Lily is secretly in love with James." Kat said in an agitated voice.
"Don't go there." Lily said crossing her arms over her chest.
"I got a couple ideas where Black could go." Kat mumbled under her breath achieving a laugh from her friends.
"Then explain to me what he is then." Lily said defiantly, she was not letting this subject go.
"We're trusted rivals that just…" Kat said trailing off.
"Snog on a normal basis." Paige and Lisi giggled ignoring the death glare sent from Kat.
"No! It just so happens that we get into weird predicaments." Kat said sitting in the arm chair next to Lisi's arm chair.
"That keeps on happening on a normal basis." Lily said looking into her best friends eyes.
"We better get going before we get detention." Paige said collecting her books and waiting for the girls to follow.
"Oh crap, I have to do patrols with James." Lily said looking at the clock on the wall.
"Kat wait for a second." Lily said watching Paige and Lisi walk out of the door way. "If you ever decide you do love him though… I understand."
"Feel the same way about someone else, Lily?" Kat asked before walking out the door behind Paige and Lisi, leaving a serious looking Lily in the room. Because one thing Kat didn't know is that her friend did in fact know how she felt.
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"Good morning sunshines!" Kat chirped to her three friends who were eating toast.
"Somebody's in a good mood this morning." Paige said reading her daily prophet.
"That's because she got some last night." Sirius said coming behind Kat and sitting down next to her.
"Keep on thinking that Black." Kat said picking up her paper and taking a sip of her juice.
The group stayed quiet minus the random outbursts from James and Sirius and the sounds of crunching toast. Until Sirius's fan girls attacked Kat. Oh, joy!
"What in the hell are you doing?" Kat screamed trying to shoo away the newspaper that she was being hit with.
"You slut! How could you take him from me? He is mine, I claimed him first. I swear you're going to pay." The blonde screamed at Kat who looked agitated.
"WHAT IN THE HELL IS THIS, FAN GIRLS ATTACK KAT WEEK? BECAUSE IT AIN'T FUNNY!!!" Kat screamed standing up. "SO WILL YOU PLEASE JUST TELL ME WHAT IN THE HELL I'M DOING SO YOU CAN GO ON YOUR BITCHY LITTLE DAY?!"
"YOU'RE PREGNANT WITH SIRIUS BLACK'S BABY." The four girls screamed in unison.
"AND DO YOU KNOW WHY I DID THAT?" Kat yelled at the four girls while picking up her books?"
"No, why?" A snooty girl asked with distaste.
"JUST TO PISS YOU OFF." Kat screamed storming out of the great. She could hear her three friends racing behind her and the marauders in a round of loud laughter. Fortunately for her their goofy laughs made her grin despite of the girls and that damned newspaper.
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