I've finally got around to updating all my fanfics again (this is the problem with having like 6 on-going stories all at once and lots of university work too) thanks for still being interested!

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Rachel felt incredibly stupid. She could barely get to sleep that night, her mind was full of thoughts, and they were running endlessly around her, she kept remembering the touch of his lips against his. He didn't know and she wouldn't tell him but that was her first kiss and it felt as good as she imagined it would be. A part of her was sad it wasn't the first kiss when she was in a stable relationship and not some fling which would now make their relationship beyond awkward. However she also loved the intensive feeling it gave. She had never been allowed to feel that impulsive before or even happy. His kiss gave her a new sense of life and though he'd never know it made her want her even more than before. She kept thinking it was just she but he kissed her, not the other way. Surely he liked her?

She looked at her alarm clock as it sounded, only getting a couple of hours sleep and began her morning routine without a single complaint. It was her own fault despite not asking to be kissed the night before. she sighed as she got ready and put on her signature short skirt and brightly coloured top, along with white tights and dolly shoes. She felt content and then curled the ends of her hair and applied the little make up. She greeted her dad's and left the house early. She knew Finn would still take her in as he had promised but she didn't feel comfortable with it today. Any other day and she might consider it, but today the weather was just right and there wasn't a cloud in the sky, she was happy with walking and just having her headphones and musical tunes for company.

The school day had gone by slowly and Rachel spent the entire day avoiding Finn it felt like she was in one of those action films boys often spoke about in class instead of the actual subject they were learning. Her heart rate was constantly going with every guy who looked anything like Finn that headed her way at one point she took the other route to her history class because she saw someone in a jacket that Finn had wore once, it took her an extra 5 minutes because she decided to go just after the bell went for second period.

She was more than thankful when it was time for Glee. She arrived and smiled at everyone. It was still at the stage of everyone getting to know each other but she felt like she almost belonged here, well better than anywhere else in this school. Everyone in this club had the same ambition she had, they wanted to sing, to express their talents the best way they could.

"Rachel, why don't you sing a solo about how you feel for us today?" Mr. Shue asked. Every week until the next competition they would choose a subject or feeling and base the performances of that. it worked well and normally showed and highlighted the skills of every member of the group.

"Of course, I would love too" Rachel stood up and took Centre stage of the auditorium.

"Oi, Finn, why are we here?" Puck whispered. He received a text several minutes earlier from Finn asking him how to get into the secret entrance to auditorium he had showed him once before. He knew the new guy would bust his secret so he took him instead.

"I had a fight with Rachel and I wanna see how she is" Finn even realized how pathetic that sounded. In his head it sounded less girly and less emotional, and according to Puck's reactions it was completely 100% what he imagined it sounded like.

"You've got it bad Hudson" Puck patted his shoulder sarcastically. "Anyway if you shut up wining for a moment you'll hear the song that she's gonna sing about you clearly" he seemed so sure of himself yet Finn was concerned. What if she sang a song about hating someone or not loving him? Hold on. Did he love her? He couldn't, could he?

"I am going to sing a true musical classic" Rachel stood proud and pointed towards the guy and nodded before the music began to softly play.

On my own
Pretending he's beside me
All alone
I walk with him till morning
Without him
I feel his arms around me
And when I lose my way I close my eyes
And he has found me

In the rain the pavement shines like silver
All the lights are misty in the river
In the darkness, the trees are full of starlight
And all I see is him and me forever and forever

And I know it's only in my mind
That I'm talking to myself and not to him
And although I know that he is blind
Still I say, there's a way for us

I love him
But when the night is over
He is gone
The river's just a river
Without him
The world around me changes
The trees are bare and everywhere
The streets are full of strangers

I love him
But every day I'm learning
All my life
I've only been pretending
Without me
His world will go on turning
A world that's full of happiness
That I have never known

I love him
I love him
I love him
But only on my own

After she finished everyone was standing up clapping, even Mr. Shue was standing up applauding his youngest star. She was going to be the biggest star at this year's regional competition and it now made things more interesting for the New Directions. "Rachel that was extraordinary. I could see you really felt that" He said. Rachel nodded sadly. It was true; the tears dripping down her cheeks were real. She did love him. it was stupid they'd hardly been together but her first kiss meant something to her, he meant something, ever since he came here things had slowly got easier for her, he made things that were tough better and now he was here for the long run.

"Well go on prince charming, go tell her" Puck pushed his shoulder towards the exit. Finn nodded and left leaving Puck gazing out. He wished his friend could just sort it out, he had never got on with Rachel but seeing her differently made him think that maybe she wasn't so bad. She had seemed better when she was with Finn. He almost hoped things worked out. He was getting fond of Berry.