A/N I apologise profusely for the delay! I was caught up in writer's block, uni work and band practice. Also, this chapter was extremely difficult for me to write, I felt as if I wasn't doing Alex justice.

Let me know what you think.

Blood. Sometimes it sets my teeth on edge, other times it helps me control the chaos.

I have no idea how you reacted when they told you. Obviously you knew about Alexander Harper. You knew what he was capable of.

What he was.

But you didn't know what that I was him.

People fake a lot of human interactions, but I feel like I fake them all, and I fake them very well.

Rage though. I understand rage.

And sometimes with you… I feel like I understand love.

But the reason I wanted to find you was more out of a sense of curiosity.

A morbid curiosity with your eyes.

When I first met you for real though, something sparked inside me.

Fondness.

What am I?

I'm not sure.

I could lie again in my writings. And tell you that this fondness for another person. But it wouldn't be true.

And… It would not be fair.

Her name was Emily.

She was one of my instructors during my second phase of training. I was seventeen when we met. She was one of my many numerous biotics instructors. Her eyes were alive, unlike mine and so much like yours. A depleted and unflinching robot. I was a weapon in training and all my instructors treated me as such.

I was alive, because I couldn't save my mother.

And they all saw me as a monster.

Except Emily.

After months of training, she walked me back to my room. Once I knew we were out of sight of the cameras, I pinned her against the wall, and held my forearm across her throat.

'Why do you look at me like you care?'

Her voice was wheezing and her eyes wild, but she answered calmly.

'Because I feel sorry for you.'

I stared into her eyes, piercing her with my gaze as if that would more easily extract the truth.

Then, unexpectedly, she leaned into kiss me.

I am ashamed to admit that this made me drop my guard. And it gave her enough time to throw me with her biotic against the opposing storage closet.

I tensed for a repeat attack, but instead she pressed back against the door and leaned in again.

The noise that came from the storage closet for the next forty-five minutes was unusually loud to say the least.

She was unexpectedly clingy. Arranging meetings and times that we could get together in secret. After three months, she managed to sneak me into her quarters. And that night she leant against my chest and whispered that she loved me.

I simply stroked her hair and whispered back I lie.

'So do I'.

Even though my words were empty, she seemed content and fell asleep.

But in that moment…. There was a fondness.

But the next day, I killed her because my father ordered me to.

I walked in to my training room, to find him standing over a bloodied and beaten Emily.

His eyes pierced mine, and in between her sobs issued one simple statement.

'You are a weapon. Kill her.'

She looked at me with such fear in her eyes and screamed.

But I killed her anyway.

And when silence finally echoed across through the room I felt my father's hand clap my shoulder for a second.

And he handed me a packet of red sand.

Ever since then, I've felt the call.

Before I killed her, I felt only apathy towards the many aliens that had been lined up before me to be slaughtered. Their deaths were violent, cruel and brutal.

Bloody, sticky and messy.

Lots of exploding bits.

But the sight of the focus of my fondness dead at my feet, with her tongue sticking out of her mouth tripped it. The call said hello that day.

When I turned around, my hand loosely grasping the packet, my father looked in my eyes for something.

He was searching.

Searching for pain? For my sorrow?

Was that why he had done this? Because his only goal left apart from humanity's ascension, was a total destruction of my soul?

But he didn't know.

My soul was gone the moment that chainsaw had hit my mother's head.

He thought he held power over me by asking me to kill her. He wanted to crush and meld me into his weapon.

But Emily's death allowed me to do something I didn't know I could do before then.

I began to enjoy the lives I took.

I cocked my head at his searching gaze and handed the packet of sand back to him.

A grin played over my face at his confusion.

'Now you have to get me a new toy.'

What am I?

I'm a serial killer

I suppose some people might wonder, how is it possible to be both a professional assassin and a serial killer? The distinction was always in my mind. The people I was asked to kill in the beginning, I tried to make seem like I enjoyed, as if they satisfied the call.

But truly, my personal thirst for blood wasn't satisfied until I chose my target.

I planned quickly and sloppily, but the moment one of my most hated 'doctors' lay dead on the floor with his head exploded, I felt a satisfying release.

I was duly punished through torture for my display of rebellion, but I couldn't help enjoy replaying the vision of his death over and over again.

It might be the case, that you would wish that such a murder wasn't an act of a serial killer, but that is naively wrong.

Because the next time I felt the same release, was three years later at age nineteen, when I murdered a fellow nameless passenger in the back of a illegal transporter.

With no adequate security system, disposing of her blue little bits was simple.

With the help of an air locker.

My father either never found out about that one, or didn't care.

After all, she wasn't human.

But my favourite one, the all time high, was when I killed the leader of the Terra Firma Party.

Claudius Rex had been annoying me for months. As a favour, I had been conscripted out to him by father to help with the party's 'dirty laundry'. The man was a total arse frankly. The xenophobic attitude didn't annoy me nearly as much as him blatant sexism.

The man lived in the 21st century I swear.

The real kicker for me though, was when one of his 'tasks' required me to rape and kill an asari diplomat.

I may be a monster, but I'm not an animal.

Needless to say he was thoroughly… disappointed… that her death lacked the required flair. And, as per my father's instructions as to what to do if I got out of line, had me tortured for two weeks straight.

Planning my revenge while enduring another level of hell was difficult.

The man was constantly surrounded by guards, and was extremely paranoid. He saw death threats wherever he looked. Fortunately for me, he trusted my father and never doubted that I might be a threat.

But still, getting him alone…

The opportunity came fairly soon after my return to work.

He was alone late one night in the office, with only me and another guard there for protection. I had the night planned out. I had planted a small explosive on the level below Rex's office the week before, and remote activated it an hour after the last staff had left.

Rex immediately poked his ratty face outside the door at the sound.

'What was that!?'

The guard, clueless, shook his head as I answered Rex's question.

'An explosion. A floor or two below.'

Rex eyed up his stupid guard with a suspicious look on his face.

'You! Go and investigate.'

'But shouldn't we call the poli-'

'OF COURSE NOT YOU IDIOT! Do you think I want the police sniffing around the building? Just do as I say!'

The guard bumbled off, drawing his pistol.

Rex beckoned me inside his office.

'Weapon, I need you here o make sure I stay safe. After all, what would the cause of humanity be without Clauduis Re-'

I cut him off with a sharp biotic punch to his gut. While he doubled over in pain, I quickly removed his 'hidden' pistol from the side of his leg. I yanked him upright and dragged him over to his desk, slamming him down on top of it. His eyes were wild and crazed as he gazed deliriously at me.

I played with the old fashioned letter opener he kept on his desk, admiring it's smooth metallic surface while he regained his breath.

'So…' I whispered breezily.

'Maybe it's time to see what the cause would be without you, hmmm?'

His breath returned in short sharp breaths.

'No you can't…..do…this! The….Illusi….Illu….Man….WILL KILL YOU!'

I smirked at his growing expression of dismay.

'Death? Death would be preferably to this life. But I find, it constantly eludes me. But it won't elude you, not anymore.'

I slammed my palms on either side of his head, so he faced me upside down. Leaning in, I spat on his face before whispering in his ear.

'Maybe I should rape you first? You seemed to like that idea before.'

'Some…. Asari…. Bitch! Deserv…..she…deser…it!'

I slammed my arm across his throat, preventing him from speaking as he desperately clawed at my forearm.

'And who are you to decide how they should be punished? You say you speak for humanity; did humanity ask for her to be raped and then beaten bloody? Were they the ones who begged me to rip her insides apart? Was that humanity, or was it the voice of a sick little man who has never taken a soul in his life. From a man, pitiful and weak, who has no concept of sacrifice. Maybe I too, have no right to play you executioner. But at least I am honest.'

' I'm killing you because I don't like you, you annoy me. Be proud I guess, I don't always have a reason for my choice in victims. I like to hear their cry's and feel their pain. But only because it's my choice who dies and how. It's my choice and my responsibility. It's my sick perversion. And when the day comes, I will be the one judged for my actions and my call. But you, little man, you disgrace humanity far more than I do. Because you claim an authority that you were never given, and allow it to be an excuse for your actions. Actions, you are too cowardly to perform yourself. '

His eyes slowly began to flutter close, and I released the pressure on his neck, and whispered one final sentence before plunging the letter opener into the middle of his chest.

'You disgrace humanity.'

Cerberus sent a cleanup crew a few hours after the body was found by the returning guard.

They tracked me down easily to the local bar, knocking back my last drink I didn't resist them injecting me.

Knocked out, I woke up in a familiar training room. Pictures of my mother's exploded head once again all over the walls.

'I thought you were better than this.'

The familiar voice of my father resounded from behind me, and as I turned to look a sharp electric pain forced me to me knees.

'Due to your…regrettable actions, I have been forced to implant you with a series of nanotransmitters which allow me the ability to cause pain ranging from mild…..'

A horrifying shock had me splayed over the floor twitching.

'…to severe.'

He gazed down at my twitching body impassively before unexpectedly slamming his foot down hard on my face.

Hot blood spurted out, blurring my eyes and the sharp pain from my nose forced me to involuntarily open my mouth in pain.

Kicking me again and again, he finally stopped and ranted in a rage.

'Have you learnt nothing! After all at this time? IT WAS YOUR FAULT SHE DIED! YOU COULDN'T SAVE HER! BUT YOU REFUSE TO REPENT BUT DOING YOUR DUTY!'

'YOU. ARE. A. WEAPON.'

A flash of images and emotions ran through my mind. My mother stroking my hair, holding my hand. The feeling of blinding rage as I exploded the turian that killed her. The first and last time I vomited at the images of her body. Emily looking at me with pity, then the sound of her screams. Then, finally, the europhia I felt when I killed my victims. Total peace.

I slowly and shakily returned to my feet.

Wobbling on the balls of my toes, I eyed my father firmly in the eye once again overtaken by my feelings of apathy.

'My name….'

'YOU HAVE NO NAME!'

He reached to shock me again on his omnitool, but was stopped as I biotically slapped him to the floor.

Standing over his now fearful body, I began again with a coil of steel in the words I spoke.

'My name is Alexander Harper.'

'I am the son of the Illusive Man.'

'And I am not your slave.'

A/N What did you think? Bit of a character flaw in there somewhere I think.

Please, please, please! I love reviews. I may not get around to answering them all (something I will rectify from now on) but I would really appreciate more feedback!