WARNING: THIS CHAPTER IS RATED FOR LANGUAGE. If you are under the age of 18 or sensitive to such subjects, please do not read any further.

Winter

Standing on the summit of the mountain, Sesshoumaru gazed over the forest at a world muffled by snow. It looked desolate, yet oddly ethereal -- almost magical, really. From this height, he could see the lake, all frozen over and glinting brightly in the glaring winter sun. The forest stood out in barely visible contrast, skeletal trees reaching out from the cold, dead ground, completely covered in newly fallen snow. His breath puffed out around him, curling in the air before dissipating. He had come up here more often lately, though he didn't want to admit why.

A nasty voice in the back of his mind taunted, she won't return.

It was right, of course. But he still hoped: however futile it might have been to do so. No contact in a little over ten months. He wondered if she was happy.

Useless. Useless.

These were the non-productive avenues of thought that had once gotten him into such trouble. Shaking his head, he decided it was time for the Buddha to return to its rightful place once more. He had found his absolution. Picking the statue up, he trudged back down the mountain, vowing to forget her but knowing he could not.

What was joined must be separated -- he knew this and yet...

He couldn't be pressed to admit it out loud, but ever since she'd left, he had felt a kind of deep restlessness. It had its beginnings the first day she appeared, and had gradually become more insistent. He'd always thought he'd live the rest of his life in this place and it had made him happy, in a strange sort of way. But more and more often he began to wonder at the wisdom of it.

Love, like a cough, cannot be hidden forever...

Winter had always been a reflective time for him -- especially since he'd come here. During the spring and summer months Hokkaidō came alive but during the winter it seemed like the most desolate place on earth; so cold, so isolated. And though he didn't lack for things to do, he felt a kind of lethargy take over him that made him not want to venture outside. Koma seemed to agree, barking at him urgently as he trotted far in front of him. The dog didn't understand why they were still here. Home was down there. It was warm and there was food. He barked again, adding a little growl at the end of it. His master laughed, hefting the statue off its pedestal. Satisfied that movement forward was imminent, the dog scurried down the slope nimble as a mountain goat.

The descent wasn't much easier than the climb up hand been; snow had made the path down slippery. Cold seeped through his heavy workman's gloves, his fingers were slowly becoming numb. He'd forestalled it for as long as he could by pushing quick pulses of youki to his extremities, but that was a temporary solution. Looking forward to a warm cup of tea in front of the fire kept him going, even as the cold stole his breath away. He buried his nose into his scarf, wincing as a sudden gust of wind rippled through the forest.

Twenty minutes later found him in sight of the hermitage, his dog already sitting expectantly on the boardwalk. He marched up quickly, stomping the snow off before he entered his home. The door was closed and shoes were quickly kicked off. He strode past the sunken fire pit in the middle of the room to the small shrine just across from it, where the Buddha was placed with utmost reverence, overlooking the hearth serenely. Logs were then gathered and placed in the fire-pit, flint was struck and within five minutes a small but cheery fire crackled merrily. The stiff, frozen air was driven out, and warmth enveloped the tiny domicile.

Sesshoumaru had shed his damp outer clothes, carefully laying them out near the fire to dry, along with his shoes. He then rummaged around for a blanket made for him by one the village women, which he wrapped around his shoulders. The dog watched him quietly, his big brown eyes following every movement. A tea kettle was set on the hook that hung above the hearth. Before he settled down to wait for the water to boil, he filled the dog's food dish, smiling a bit at how swiftly the dog had left his place by the fire. He left the mutt to his meal, sitting on a zabuton near the fire and rubbing his hands over it. Feeling soon returned.

He wasn't sure how long he sat there, rubbing his hands and staring into the fire, but it was a very long time. Hungry, he made himself a bowl of leftover stew. Bored, he pulled out the scrolls he'd collected over the years and read them. When that failed to amuse him for long, he wandered around the house, cleaning, fixing things that needed fixing -- noting that there seemed to be another hole in the roof, this time in the store room, though by that time, the sun was low in the sky. It was a project for tomorrow, then.

His hearth beckoned him back, and so he sat down in front of it again, content to meditate on the last glowing embers. Setting a few more logs on to last the night, he cajoled the fire to full strength. He lay out his futon by the hearth, rarely sleeping in the bedrooms as they were far too cold this time of year, fire or no fire. Wrapping himself a large pile of layered blankets, dog curled at his feet, he stared at the fire, opening and closing his eyes languidly until it was too much effort to remain awake. Soon the only sounds inside the hermitage were the steady, rhythmic breathing of its sleeping inhabits and the quiet hissing of the fire as it slowly died out and cooled.

The next morning, at the crack of dawn, Sesshoumaru awoke stiff and cold, and decidedly not alone. Sometime during the night, Koma had found his way under the blankets and now occupied a rather large part of his futon near his feet. Sesshoumaru almost hated waking the poor boy up. He was getting on in years. But the bedding had to be put away; he detested disorder of any kind.

Once the room was neatened, the fire relit and breakfast was eaten, he bundled up for a long day of work. Contrary to popular belief, youkai were not impervious to the weather. They felt its effects like any human would, they were just better able to control their reactions to it. If they had to, a youkai could endure the cold without the customary precautions a human might take to ward against it. This did not imply that they enjoyed doing so. Sesshoumaru hated being cold with a passion. His clan hailed from Osaka, a relatively temperate region which didn't experience the deep cold of winter quite like Hokkaidō.

He braided his hair and rolled it into a messy bun, having no desire for it to become wet. A scarf was wrapped around his neck, a hat pulled on, arms eased into the sleeves of his coat, and warm winter work boots were tied carefully before he stepped outside. He opened the door, leaning back as his face was blasted with a bracing gust of wind. The first step out was always the worst. Trudging out to the tool shed, he gathered what he needed to fix the roof.

The ladder made a hollow, metallic sound as he leaned it up against the side of the hermitage. He climbed up, taking a broom with him to scrape off the loose snow. It was such an awful, mundane task, that had anyone who'd known him in his life before wouldn't have believed their eyes. Not only because he was doing a task he would have assigned to one of his many servants, but because he had chosen such a human way to go about things. Back then, he had never lacked an excuse to flaunt his power, but now he used it very, very rarely. The old man would have been proud, for the most part... because seconds later Sesshoumaru flared his youki, melting the packed ice covering the roof tiles. There were some tasks in this world that can only be accomplished by doing them the easy way. Besides, he'd noticed odd fluctuations in his power. It seemed less than it had been before, though he couldn't imagine why. He tried to use it a bit more often; it helped, but not by much. The situation was frustrating, but didn't concern him too much; he got on well without it for so long.

Sesshoumaru wondered vaguely if he might be fading. There was a part of him that had almost come to peace with that. If it was time for him to disappear from this world, so be it. He had found what he was looking for...

He spent the better part of the morning fussing with the roof. By late afternoon he had nearly found the source of the problem when he sensed something in the distance. Someone was coming -- two of the auras he recognized easily, his brother and his psychiatrist, Dr. Nomura -- the other he vaguely remembered, seeing a face but not a name; it was definitely male with some holy power. Turning his head, he looked towards the stairs. They'd be there soon. Not wanting the dog to bother his visitors, he confined it to his room in the hermitage. While he was in there, he stoked the fire and put on some water for tea before exiting.

He waited for them patiently. Seconds later, the hanyou's head crested the stairs. The brothers stood across from each other as stiff as statues, staring across a wide gulf that had always separated them. Sesshoumaru smiled and bowed politely, the wisdom and serenity he'd gained his five years showing in his eyes. "Welcome, brother." Inuyasha gawped at him, stunned. Sesshoumaru had never referred to him as a brother, ever. He'd barely acknowledged they were even related at all. Was he serious??! He narrowed his eyes. The man that stood before him looked like Sesshoumaru, smelled like him... The youkai turned around abruptly without even waiting for him to answer. "Are you coming, Inuyasha?" Though it was a question, there was a lilting imperiousness in his tone that made it sound a bit more like a statement or a command.

'Yep,' Inuyasha thought, 'it's Sesshoumaru all right.'

"Inuyasha, is everything okay?" asked a voice.

The hanyou glanced back, having barely noticed Miroku's arrival in his shock over the change in his half-brother. "Yeah, everything's hunky-dory. Let's go inside, it's fucking freezing out here."

They all filed into the hermitage, and while it was certainly cramped, they were grateful to be someplace warm. Being a dutiful host, Sesshoumaru offered them all tea which everyone, save Inuyasha, eagerly accepted. They sat quietly, sipping tea while they warmed up, trying their best to not notice the way the daiyoukai was eyeing them.

Sesshoumaru couldn't help but feel a bit perplexed. It was strange enough that his half-brother had decided to make a spontaneous visit, but to come with the doctor and some human he vaguely recognized.

Politely setting his empty teacup down, Dr. Nomura was the first to speak. "I suppose you might be wondering why we're all here."

Sesshoumaru did not answer in any discernable way. He had been under the impression he'd been doing well. His most recent appointment with the good doctor had only been a week and a half ago. Nomura-sensei had told him he was doing so well that he had cancelled his last remaining prescription, not that he'd been taking it anymore. He hadn't needed it in ages. The instability of years past had been conquered. That part of his life was over with and there was no reason for this show of force. It was insulting.

Everyone else in the room shifted uncomfortably, waiting for an answer that would never come. Coughing nervously, the doctor continued on as if Sesshoumaru had. "It was your brother's idea. He thought it prudent to come together." Glancing back and forth at his companions, he continued, though he was clearly uncomfortable. "You see, we have some bad news..."

Sesshoumaru shot a quick glare at Inuyasha, greatly regretting calling the hanyou brother earlier. "I can't imagine any news that is so pressing that requires three people to deliver it... I think one might have sufficed," Sesshoumaru stated plainly. "Or perhaps you were worried I might kill the messenger?" There was a long, awkward pause that told him everything he needed to know. "Your lack of faith in me, doctor, is most displeasing. I am not that man anymore."

Inuyasha let out a loud snort. "That remains to be seen," he muttered.

His companions both glared at him. The man Sesshoumaru didn't entirely recognize, called Miroku, hissed, "You're not helping, Inuyasha."

Nomura gave another cough that seemed far too deliberate to be real. "As I said, we have some bad news... Mirkou, if would you be so kind..."

Sesshoumaru's attention was firmly turned to Miroku. He did not know this man, not personally, but there was something about his scent... it felt as if he should remember. As if reading his mind, the young man spoke up, "Watanabe Miroku, Kagome's friend," and then he bowed. It was rather shallow because he had not taken off what looked to be some kind primitive sling pack that wrapped over one shoulder and around his chest. Sesshoumaru noticed the way he cradled it, as if whatever it held was precious. He looked the young man in the eyes then, hoping to discern his intent. His eyes spoke -- there was a great deal of fear but there were equal amounts of sincerity.

Sesshoumaru returned the young man's bow. "Please to meet you, Watanabe-san."

The young man seemed honestly shocked at the youkai's rather pleasant reply. "W-we've met before," he stuttered. Miroku could admit that he was intimidated by the daiyoukai. His power filled the room, nearly suffocating him. It made it hard for him to speak. Despite the youkai's assurances, Miroku did not think he would be above violence once he knew...

"Is that so?"

"Yes, ten months ago."

"Ah, yes. I remember now. Is Kagome well?" The young man blanched, his throat going suddenly quite dry. His fingers curled into a fists as he looked down, avoiding the youkai's eyes. "Is she well?" he repeated, his tone insistent.

Licking his lips, the young man shook his head. "No, she's not." And then he looked up, his eyes watery.

The room went very, very quiet.

"What happened?" The words were spoken so softly as to be barely audible but the terrible intensity behind them carried. They were words that would not be ignored. And when the young man said nothing, Sesshoumaru became adamant. "Tell me."

A vast sea of emotions moved back and forth like the tide across his face, before he took a deep breath and spoke the words Sesshoumaru dreaded he would hear. "Kagome is... s-she passed away. She's dead."

The youkai shook his head in disbelief, barely able to stutter out, "When...?"

"Two weeks ago."

"Two weeks... How?"

"Complications from childbirth. She... huh-h-had gone into labor early. There were some problems -- she wasn't dilated like she should be. So, the doctors gave her something to help make things go faster. She had the baby, but, uh, what the doctors didn't know was... there had been some scarring from when she had Rin. It was barely detectable, easy to miss, but those scars opened during labor. By the time they noticed she had already bled out... it was so quick. Just thirty minutes and she was gone. She never even got to see--"

"Kagome was pregnant?"

"You... you didn't know?"

The daiyoukai looked at him in bewilderment.

Miroku's eyes widened. "She never told you," he breathed, unconsciously touching the bundle cradled to his chest.

Sesshoumaru did some quick mental math. Glaring at the man angrily, he hissed, "You lie."

"It's the truth," Miroku replied, his mouth set into a firm line. He would not be called a liar.

"That's impossible. She was here ten months ago. If she were pregnant, the child would have been late, not early."

Tipping his chin up, Miroku sat tall, looking Sesshoumaru dead in the eye. "You'd be right, if her child was human."

"Not... human..." His tongue felt thick in his mouth, the words sounding foreign as they slipped past his lips.

Blazing, golden eyes watched as the young human carefully reached into the sling, arranging it so that Sesshoumaru could see what was inside. From the folds of the blanket, a tiny face peeked out -- pale and pink and vulnerable. The child's head was covered with a soft blue knitted cap, no doubt made by Kagome herself. Miroku fingered the cap gently, smiling sadly as he regarded the sleeping child. He moved closer to the youkai, glancing up at him briefly before settling down. Then he very carefully pulled the cap off to reveal the tousled white hair covering the child's head. The youkai had been stunned silent, looking down at the child like he'd never seen one before. With glacial slowness, Sesshoumaru lifted his hand, touching the child's hair with the tips of his fingers. The emotional torment of the moment was too much. He began to tremble, his eyes could barely see; he shook his head. This couldn't be... but the human nodded. It very much was.

"Would you like to hold your son?" The youkai stared at him blankly, clearly unsure if he should. "He won't break, I assure you." The youkai nodded mutely. With great gentleness, Miroku transferred the child into his father's arms. The baby protested it a bit, but quickly quieted once he was settled. Several quiet minutes passed where all attention in the room was on its smallest inhabitant. Sesshoumaru looked down at the child, confused; his index finger tracing the child's very human ears.

"His ears..."

"Keh! Not every hanyou is alike! Even I know that," Inuyasha barked, clearly insulted at the assumption.

Sesshoumaru did not hear the hanyou's protest; he was too focused on the child. He was so small, so fragile. Tiny face wrinkling as he shifted, the baby yawned, his eyes opening slightly. They were still the dark blue common amongst newborns, but Sesshoumaru could see slight flecks of gold around the pupil.

"My son," he whispered, his eyes never left the child's face. "What's his name?"

"Touga," Miroku answered. "She said that if she had a boy, she'd name him Touga."

"Touga." He could barely choke it out -- his father's name. She remembered. He suddenly felt very tired. It was too much. Too much, with not nearly enough time to absorb everything.

Seeing that the youkai was quickly becoming overwhelmed, the doctor asked, "Sesshoumaru, do you need a moment?"

He nodded numbly, practically shoving the child back into Mirkou's arms as he made a swift exit. The remaining inhabitants of the room looked at each other curiously. Inuyasha and the doctor shared a look, before the hanyou stood and followed his brother. In the silence left behind, the child began to wail.

Sesshoumaru ran, he wasn't really sure for how long. His emotions hadn't been so erratic and uncontrolled for a long time. How could she do this to him? Why hadn't she said anything? How could they just show up here and throw this in his lap, no warning? He wasn't even sure what to feel -- though the most predominant emotions were anger and anguish. It wasn't supposed to be this way. That last time together... it had been his way of letting go, but he had never thought it would be the last time he saw her. She should be happy... alive to see her daughter grow up, get married and have children of her own.

It wasn't supposed to be this way... it was a mantra that he repeated over and over; his mind was simply unable to let it go. He reached the pedestal that the Buddha had once occupied. Had he gone through the last five years for nothing? He remembered all the arguments they had about children. He had told her how hard hanyou births were. A human woman was ill equipped to deal with the growing youki of her half-demon child. It sapped the strength, made the mother weaker and more likely to experience complications during childbirth... Gods above, he told her all this. Why didn't she call? Was she that afraid of him? He had never felt more like a monster in his life. He would have done anything for her, anything. Yes, he wouldn't have been happy at first, but only because he worried for her health. He had always wanted children, but not at her expense. Couldn't she see that? But in her fear of him, fear he had instilled, she had denied him.

He was such a fool. He thought he'd made such strides but he had learned nothing. He should have been more careful. He should have controlled himself, refused her when he had the chance. He should have been there and now she was gone, and there was nothing he could do. She was gone...

Wisdom that came at such a cost was worth less than nothing. No, it wasn't wisdom at all. It was plain foolishness. All for nothing...

The rage and the sorrow were too much. His eyes turned red; poison festering from lengthened claws. He let out a feral roar that echoed through the wilderness. Trembling uncontrollably, he put his fist through the pedestal with a sickening crack, breaking it in half. He pulled his hand out violently, spraying a fine mist of Dokkasou over what remained and watching the stone disintegrate with a certain sense of satisfaction. Breathing heavily, he let the moment pass, regretting his loss of control almost immediately when he sensed his brother's aura just behind him. He turned, regarding the hanyou with clear, golden eyes. The hanyou gazed back, his stance tense, hand resting on the sword strapped to his back.

"You okay?" Inuyasha asked carefully. A raised eyebrow was his only answer. It was not enough to convince him. "Seriously... you okay?"

"I'm fine."

The hanyou eyeballed him for a second, finally allowing his hands to rest at his sides. "So, what're you gonna do?"

"Do?"

"Yeah, I mean, you can't stay here," stated the hanyou, as if it were the most obvious thing in the world.

"Why would I leave?"

Inuyasha could barely believe his ears. "You... you gotta be kidding me! This ain't no place for a kid to grow up!"

It was Sesshoumaru's turn to be confused. What nonsense was the hanyou talking about now? Furrowing his eyebrows, he shook his head. "The child will not be staying here."

Well, that just makes no sense, the hanyou thought, puzzling it out slowly. "If you aren't leaving and the kid ain't staying... Son of a-- You gotta be fucking joking! You're that kid's father and you're just gonna walk out on him?! What the hell is wrong with you?!" Inuyasha bellowed incredulously.

"Nothing. It is in the child's best interest..."

"THE CHILD'S BEST INTEREST?! Abandoning him, that's in his best interest -- that's some genius fucking logic. Jesus Christ..." Inuyasha spat disgustedly.

"I am unprepared to--"

"WHO THE FUCK IS PREPARED?! NO ONE IS! You think I was when Kikyou had the twins?! I was scared shitless but I manned up real quick. There ain't no doubt that this is a shitty situation, but it is what it is. Like it or not, you have an obligation to that kid."

Sesshoumaru was quickly losing patience with the boy. "You don't understand. I'm not fit to be a father..."

"OH! FUCK YOU!" Inuyasha snarled. "You sound just like dad!"

"I am nothing like father," he growled darkly.

"Bullshit! He was always bitching and moaning about how he wasn't good enough to be our father, right before ditching us for his latest hooker of the week."

"That and this have nothing to do with each other."

"Oh, I'M SOOOOO SAH-REE. Playing hermit on the mountain is soooo much better. Totally negates your responsibility to that kid," the hanyou ranted, incensed beyond all reason. "You DO realize where they'll send him, right?" Sesshoumaru nodded. "And you're okay with that?" The daiyoukai merely blinked. Utterly defeated, he threw up his hands, giving up. "Unbelievable. You... you are a piece of work. You know, as much of a bastard as you were to me when I was a kid, I still looked up to you. Fuck this." He shook his head, his eyes glassy with anger and sorrow. With a disgusted sigh, he turned his back to leave, muttering, not so silently, under his breath, "you really are as bad as he is... god-damned stinking coward."

"What did you just call me?"

Inuyasha turned around slowly, snarling, "I called you a lousy, stinking coward. Your reasons might be 'noble', but it's still a shitty thing to do to a kid."

"You go too far, half-breed."

"Really? Well, I call 'em like I see 'em. You. Are. A. Fucking. Coward."

In less than an eye blink, Sesshoumaru launched himself at his half-brother, decking him square in the face. The hanyou was sent flying into several trees before falling into a heap on the forest floor. Sesshoumaru stalked after him, hoping that had been enough to stay the hanyou's wagging tongue. He found the boy struggling to his feet at the base of a large tree. Stumbling, he managed to stand, wiping away the blood that poured from his nose and mouth. Looking down at his blood covered fingers, he laughed.

"That's the Sesshoumaru I know," he declared, spitting out a big glob of blood onto the pristine snow. The contrast was glaring. "I think you busted my back," he said, reaching behind to rub a sore spot. Instead of a back injury, he found a large tear in his coat. Quickly divesting himself of the garment, he held it out and stared at it. "Shit. This was a new coat. Kikyou's gonna kill me!" He glanced up at Sesshoumaru, brandishing his ruined coat. "OI! Prick! You owe me a new coat!" But his brother was no longer listening. His gaze was firmly fixed on the sky. There was such great sorrow there that any other words Inuyasha had for his brother lodged in his throat. The hanyou followed Sesshoumaru's gaze to the piercingly blue sky. It was snowing... but there were no clouds. Strange. The daiyoukai seemed lost in thought and the silence made his half-brother uncomfortable. He was used to the arrogant, taunting Sesshoumaru, the quiet, reflective one was freaking him out.

"Why?"

The softly worded question made the hanyou jump. "Why? Why what? Why do you owe me a new coat? I think the answer to that one is--"

Sesshoumaru ignored or hadn't heard what his brother had said, continuing on as if he'd received no answer at all. "Why her, Inuyasha? It shouldn't have been her..." He trailed off. The true meaning of that statement hanging unspoken in the air: it should have been me. "I'd have given anything... anything for her to be happy. She deserved it. She deserved to live." His words were spoken with quiet vehemence, startling his hanyou brother with their sincerity.

Inuyasha didn't like the way this was going, at all. His brother sounded like he had the night he'd tried to end himself. A night he wished like hell he could forget. "Where you going with this?"

"It isn't fair. It isn't right," he breathed, his fingers clenching and unclenching.

"It isn't but no one said life was fair. You told me that when my mom died. It was a pretty fucked up thing to say, but it's the truth. So, the way I see it, you got two choices, lay down and die. Or fight -- live, for that kid." Inuyasha paused; in the back of his mind remembering his brother, covered head to toe in his own blood and blind stinking drunk with an ornamental vajra stuck half-way through his chest. "I swear to god, if you even think--"

"Worried for me, are you? Your concern is touching, but unnecessary."

"Yeah, well, all I'm saying is... don't do anything stupid, you're all that kid has now. He needs you." Inuyasha could tell his brother was on the verge of deciding. "You're his father. Every kid needs a father."

"She didn't tell me." As if by not telling him, she didn't acknowledge his part in their son's creation.

"And you're surprised? I think it's damn obvious why she didn't." He sighed, hating that he had to resort to this as he pulled a letter from his back pocket and handed it to his elder brother. "I found this when going through her stuff. Didn't know what it was till I read some of it. She was going to tell you." His voice caught then, his eyes shimmering wetly. It lasted only a moment. "Just never got around to sending it, I guess."

Sesshoumaru took it, carefully pulling the letter from the envelope. It began: Dear Sesshoumaru,

I don't know how many times I've tried to sit down and write you this letter. There are so many things I want to say. When I came to you, I had no idea what to expect... he skimmed through this part. It didn't say much that he didn't know already, just remarking on how much he'd changed and how she felt almost as if she didn't know him anymore. He picked it back up around a page later ...I have some news, though I don't know if you'll be happy or not. In my head, I thought of a thousand different ways to tell you, but momma always said that simplicity is best.

I'm pregnant. It's yours. Right now I bet you're asking yourself how I can be so sure. Truth is: I haven't been with a man since I was with you. Frankly, I'm not sure if I could ever be with another man again. I've missed you, Sesshoumaru. More than words can say. I've struggled so hard with this... with telling you, because I'm afraid. Not just because of your feelings about hanyou (though that is a legitimate worry). But because I think I still love you. No, that's not entirely true. I've always loved you. I could never stop, no matter how hard I tried.

I don't really want to bring this child into the world without a father, but I worry... so much has changed but I'm afraid that some things might remain the same. I want my child to have a father, but could you love a hanyou? I don't know and it terrifies me... he could barely read on, but the masochistic streak in him couldn't stop ...Then I remember that night and I think I have my answer. I love you, Saitō Sesshoumaru. And if I'm right, I know you love me.

Please, come home.

Had he been capable, he would have wept at her words but the tears would not come. Such expression of sorrow was a human thing; youkai were not meant to cry. His eyes flashed red, feeling overwhelming rage and frustration at himself that even in the face of her death he still lacked the freedom of emotion to weep. Even his half-brother... even he could summon tears. He looked down at her words again. I love you...

"I love you," he murmured, gulping frigid winter air that burned his lungs. "Kagome... always"

His entire body shuddered, feeling a wave of dizziness just before his knees buckled underneath him. The letter was clutched tightly in one hand while the other covered his eyes. Truly, there was only so much anyone could take in one day -- even a great daiyoukai.

Inuyasha was acutely uncomfortable with the display. This was the second time he'd seen his great and terrible brother this vulnerable. It was just as weird (not to mention terrifying) now and it was then. He turned away, allowing his brother time to grieve privately and get back to being the cold bastard he normally was.

Several minutes passed, but eventually Sesshoumaru collected himself. He stood and walked past his brother, so calm and composed that no one would ever guess that he had nearly had an emotional breakdown. The hanyou stared after him, not so much stunned at how quickly the daiyoukai recovered but by the sheer determination in his gait. Had he decided then?

Running after him, he shouted, "OI! Where are you going?"

"To get my son," Sesshoumaru answered. "We're going home."

Cultural Notes/Translations

Zabuton: Square pillow used in most Japanese homes to sit on in tatami mat rooms.

Vajra: Small scepter some Buddhist monks use to perform certain ceremonies. The original Sanskrit meaning of the word is diamond/thunderbolt. The vajra is an important religious symbol for many Buddhists because it represents the firmness of spirit and the spiritual power it imparts.