~The song "Monster" belongs to Skillet the character Abby, Gibbs, Tony, Ziva, Tim, Ducky and Jimmy Palmer as well as Director Jenny Shepard belong to whoever created them which was not me!~

THIS IS ONLY A ONESHOT!

I wanted to growl it was not my or anyone in a ten foot radius of me day. Not only was it my time of the month and I was having the worse cramps I had ever experienced, I hadn't had my morning 16oz of Death Wish coffee because some idiot thought it would be funny to blow up the nearest Starbucks, nor had I had my morning chocolate icing butter-crème filled doughnut, because some catering place had ordered all of the available ones from Dunkin Doughnuts, add to that fact that I only got three hours of sleep in the past three days, in very un-comfortable positions, I might add and had only been home long enough to shower and change clothes and you have me as a ticking time-bomb. "Hey….whoa you know you're putting off a lot of bad vibes." Abby my little sister said as she bounced up to my desk where I was practically radiating death threats. I felt the entire work-force around me stop moving for fear of becoming a target for my rage, my need for morning coffee and doughnut was known to all as was my severe anger when I didn't have them, which is why I always tried to get them before I came to work. I slowly looked up from my computer screen and into my little sisters green eyes that were sparkling with happiness. I could practically hear the intake of breaths all around me, as the look on my face was revealed from behind the computer screen where I had been hiding it, "Ten bucks says Abby's going to get it." One of the ladies who filed the paper work whispered to the mail delivery guy who was bringing around this morning's mail.

"You know I have exactly what you need!" My little sister perkily exclaimed before grabbing my right hand and tugging me up out of my chair and after her towards the elevator. I followed willingly if there was even the slightest chance of getting caffeine it was my little caffeine addicted sister. We exited the elevator on the third floor which was Abby's lab, I willingly followed her closely hoping against hope that she would magically produce Midol's, a 16 oz. Death Wish coffee, and a chocolate icing butter-crème filled doughnut. Sadly however she didn't instead she took me into her 'office' room and sat me down in front of her computer before popping in one of CD's of music tracks, "You need to relax so sit here and listen to your music maybe you'll even come up with lyrics." I opened my mouth to protest but she shushed me and continued, "While you're doing that I will be getting you some Midol's, a 16oz Death Wish coffee and a chocolate icing butter-crème filled doughnut okay?." Abby said, I closed my mouth and nodded mutely before putting on the head phones to listen to my music not realizing that my sneaky little sister had the head-phones plugged in the secondary headset location which caused the music to play out of the speakers as well as the head-phones. I picked track number three and sat back closing my eyes and blaring the music in the head-phones. By the time track number six came around I was feeling slightly more relaxed and when the music started lyrics began to pop up in my head so I begin to sing them out-loud not-thinking that anyone besides myself and maybe Abby would hear me. My slightly husky alto voice filled the 'office' as I begin to put lyrics to the music I had created,

The secret side of me
I never let you see
I keep it caged
But I can't control it
So stay away from me
The beast is ugly
I feel the rage
And I just can't hold it

It's scratching on the walls
In the closet, in the halls
It comes awake
And I can't control it
Hiding under the bed
In my body, in my head
Why won't somebody come and save me from this?
Make it end!

I feel it deep within,
It's just beneath the skin
I must confess that I feel like a monster
I hate what I've become
The nightmare's just begun
I must confess that I feel like a monster
I, I feel like a monster
I, I feel like a monster

My secret side I keep
Hid under lock and key
I keep it caged
But I can't control it
Cause if I let him out
He'll tear me up
And break me down
Why won't somebody come and save me from this?
Make it end!

I feel it deep within,
It's just beneath the skin
I must confess that I feel like a monster
I hate what I've become
The nightmare's just begun
I must confess that I feel like a monster

I feel it deep within,
It's just beneath the skin
I must confess that I feel like a monster
I, I feel like a monster
I, I feel like a monster

It's hiding in the dark
It's teeth are razor sharp
There's no escape for me
It wants my soul,
It wants my heart

No one can hear me scream
Maybe it's just a dream
Or maybe it's inside of me
Stop this monster!

I feel it deep within,
It's just beneath the skin
I must confess that I feel like a monster
I hate what I've become
The nightmare's just begun
I must confess that I feel like a monster

I feel it deep within,
It's just beneath the skin
I must confess that I feel like a monster
I'm gonna lose control
Here's something radical
I must confess that I feel like a monster

I, I feel like a monster

[4x]

I didn't want to move in order to write down the lyrics instead I made sure to mentally write them down and place them in a folder in my mental file cabinet, having a photographic memory was pretty awesome, most of the time. The music for track seven begin to play and new lyrics came to me (I will not bow by Breaking Benjamin). I mentally wrote those lyrics down as well and placed them in my metal file before decided that Abby would at least have my coffee now, and if not I could always steal her Caf-Pow! That she never was seen without while she was working. With that thought I took off the head-phones and opened my eyes while standing up and turning towards the lab door, only to find the doorway filled with several co-workers. Tony, Tim, and Ziva I could shrug off but Gibbs and Abby were standing in the doorway as well and from the surprised looks on all of their faces they had heard me sing, although Abby was less surprised then the rest since she knew about my CD's. "Can I help you guys with something?" I asked going for sarcasm and hoping that they wouldn't sense my embarrassment at being caught with one of my many secrets. The first person to recover was Gibbs who simply said, "I need your report on the DeLance case on my desk." He said turning to leave, "Oh no you don't." I thought before speaking out-loud, "Hey Gibbs." Gibbs turned towards me, "What Sahara?" He said with a raised eye-brow, I smirked, "My report for the DeLance case was on your desk before I left this morning." I replied. I saw the tips of Gibbs ears go red before he whirled around and hollered, "DiNozzo! David! McGee! If you have time to stand around and stare I can get you more paperwork!" That seemed to snap the three others out of their surprise and they hurriedly ran after Gibbs speaking over each other in attempt to convince Gibbs that they had enough work to do.

Abby and I exchanged knowing smirks before I yawned and rolled my shoulders hearing them pop, "So how long were you all there?" I asked as continued to stretch. "Only since you started singing the first song, which was really awesome by the way, you know I think you should sell your CD's for even higher because your music and lyrics are THE BEST and…" "Apple!" I said exasperatedly cutting off Abby's ramblings using my nick-name for her to show her I wasn't really angry with her. Abby smiled and came back to topic, "Gibbs was the first person and I think you really surprised him." Abby said searching my face for any clues on my emotions. I gave a non-committal hmm before asking her if she had any luck getting my painkillers, coffee and doughnut. "Actually that's the reason that the team was down here,' Abby said as she walked out into the lab, I followed her and nearly ran her over when I saw what was on the stain-less steal counter, a 16 oz coffee cup and a small box of doughnuts as well as a bottle of newly bought Midol's. I quickly swallowed two Midol's then proceeded to slowly enjoy my doughnut and coffee feeling my body starting to wake up from its semi-shut down state. After I finished off two doughnuts and all of my coffee the Midol's had kicked in so I was in a pretty happy mood, deciding that I should spend time with my little sister since I had everything taken care of up-stairs unless we got another case, I turned towards Abby who was working on examining something under her micro-scope. "How did your adopted parents take it when you told them that you had an older fraternal twin sister?" I asked Abby as I put the Dunkin-Doughnuts box on the table near the door so I wouldn't be tempted to eat the rest knowing that Gibbs, Ziva, Tim and Tony would probably like one. "They took it pretty good, well as good as can be expected…although I think it was more of a shock to Lucas since he was never told about me being adopted, of course I was surprised when I found out that I was adopted to, especially since you were the prime-suspect in the murder of that four star Admiral and my blood was a fifty percent match with yours. That was really confusing to did you know that…" Whatever Abby was going to say was cut off by my cell-phone going off, I looked at the number then gave Abby an apologetic look before mouthing sorry and answering my phone, "Hello." I said as I left the lab making sure to grab the box of doughnuts on my way out I punched the up button on the elevator and waited for it to come down while I listened intently to the information that I was being told over my cell-phone. After a couple of minutes of talking with the person on my phone I walked back into Abby's lab, "Hey Abbs, you know how you were saying before about how I should create a band and play live for people?" I asked as I put the doughnuts back down on the counter and slipped my cell-phone into my pocket. Abby turned towards me curious, "Yeah why?...OH MY GOSH DOES THIS MEAN WHAT I THINK IT MEANS?!" Abby hollered as she came barreling towards me, I laughed and caught her in a tight hug, "It seems like I have a band, and a manager waiting for me. Drew's Recording Company want me to come over and discuss the details of a contract with them as soon as I can." I replied. Abby squeezed me as tight as she could causing the oxygen flow to almost be completely cut off, "Abbs…can't….breath." I croaked. "Oh sorry." Abby said as she let go of me before she began to hop around her lab, "Let's call the team and tell them!" Abby said as she immediately reached for her phone. "Wait!" I said jumping towards her and putting my hand over the phone, "Can we keep it secret until my first real concert comes around then I'll get everyone tickets and a backstage tour? Please Abbs, just in case something fall's threw." I pleaded giving Abby my best puppy dog look that had gotten me out of a lot of trouble as a kid and teenager. "Okay but you know how hard it is for me to keep a secret so try and hurry things along." Abby said pouting slightly. I smiled and gave her a quick hug before turning and picking back up the doughnuts before hopping into the elevator and heading up to the Bull-pen.

THREE MONTHS LATER:

I had finally created my first CD and was going to be performing at a live concert with my band, we decided on the name Un-Masked, because the lyrics seemed to strip off the top layer of skin and show what was really going on beneath. Our manager, Cathy Lewis was quite nice and reasonable, knowing that me and two other band members had daily jobs so the only days opened for a live concert would be on the weekends. Also she didn't keep us for more than five hours which was nice. I hadn't told Abby about the concert plans just yet knowing that she was having a hard enough time keeping the Record deal in itself a secret, she already told me that Gibbs and Tony had tried to get it out of her and Ziva had made sure to remind Abby that if she was being threatened Ziva could take care of the person, McGee was clueless. I smiled and shook my head, poor McGee he always seemed to be the last to know anything, although his innocence and adorability is why I didn't kill him when we first met, and he stupidly pointed a gun at me. I laughed as I remembered that day, I had been taking a back-alley way to meet with a new dealer which was Tony undercover. I didn't know or care who the dealer was I was simply sent to get some customer information however when I met up with Tony I knew immediately that he was a fed and not wanting any of the street gossipers to leak that I was talking to a fed I ran. I didn't let myself get caught until I was a good hour away from anyone who knew me in the hood, then I called my boss and let him know what happened before sitting down on a park bench and lighting up a cigarette while I waited for the fed to find me. I remember laughing at how out of shape the guy was before motioning for him to come over and sit down, when he tried to stand up straight to bring out his gun I had rolled my eyes and told him that one, I knew he was a fed, two the only reason he had caught up to me was because I wanted him to, and three that he could tell the four other agents that were moving in on me with guns drawn to put away their guns because I wasn't going to run. I didn't tell them who I was and I refused to let them pat me down, I had been having flash-backs of when I had been caught and tortured for four years which was the reason I was just going leg work. I also refused the handcuffs telling them honestly that handcuffs couldn't restrain me since I could have them picked within ten seconds. When we finally got to the NCIS headquarters I was stopped at the metal detector, I refused to go through which caused several guns to be pointed at me. That had irritated me and in anger I pretty much wiped the floor with the two security guards and the four agents. Before explaining quiet patiently that if I had wanted them dead they would be dead by now then I skirted around the metal detector and waited for the six very embarrassed and in pain agents to get off of the floor and re-gain custody of their weapons. The Director of NCIS came down and stopped the six agents from trying to go a second round with me and then she personally escorted me to her office. Apparently my superior had called in and gotten me a job at NCIS on the same team that I had just beaten up down-stairs also my superior was putting me on leave from the Shadows agency. I had to give my blood and fingerprints to NCIS so they would have me in their records which is when they encountered their first problem with me, I didn't have any fingerprints they had been burned off when I was fourteen right after I first joined Shadows. It was only six hours later found out that I had a younger fraternal twin sister named Abigail Scuito who happened to work at the same building in the lab as the forensic scientist.

I sat up and wiped the sweat from my forehead as I remembered what Gibbs, Ziva, Tony and Tim's reaction had been when they learned that I was on their team for two years at least, then the news that had shocked all of us I was the fraternal twin sister of their own 'Mistress of the Dark', as Tony called Abby. We pretty much clicked when we first met, both of us were very smart, had tat's, a love of expression filled music, a.k.a heavy metal. The next day when I came to start work I had washed my dyed black hair out and it was its natural white, I had also taken out my brown-contact lenses and my natural violet eyes got a lot of attention. When I walked into the bull-pen I think the team almost had a heart-attack, immediately Gibbs came stepping into my personal space trying to intimidate me as he told me that my dyed hair and eye color changing things were UN-acceptable. I laughed and pushed my face inches from his own staring him down as I told him that they were natural and if didn't like it he could shove the cactus already up his butt even higher.

I think that was the first time someone actually stood up to him like that, after that the team developed a respect for me as did Gibbs and I developed a respect for all of them including Ducky, Abby and some for the Director. I didn't and still don't really like her, I don't know why. However my respect for Gibbs was starting to develop into something else, for every new thing I learned about him I grew to like…love him even more. I shrugged off my thoughts and stood up after checking the time I grabbed a quick shower before changing into my work outfit which consisted of a three-quarter length black cotton sweater, and a black pair of khaki pants, which I put my various things in including my cell-phone, lock-picking kit, four extra sets of gloves, three small throwing knives, a small self-created first aid kit, and extra ammo for both of my guns, then I grabbed the seven tickets and my black leather gloves and black wallet that chained to my belt loop, and my keys before leaving my rented apartment making sure to lock the door behind me. I walked down to the park in garage and hopped onto my Harley and headed to my first two necessary stops then work. I waited until two hours before we got off and went down and told Abby about the concert that was going to be happening tomorrow night. Needless to say everyone was thrilled and agreed to come, okay not everyone was thrilled Gibbs and Ducky were a little iffy but Abby pushed them and pouted until they said yes. I made sure to give them both a pair of ear-plugs knowing that Abby would want to be close and the music would be extremely loud.

SATURADAY NIGHT:

I walked out onto the stage stopping to pick up my electric guitar before walking over to the center of the stage right behind the microphone. I took a quick look out at the crowd and I saw Tony, Abby, Ziva, Tim, and surprisingly Gibbs and Ducky, I gave them a smile and a nod then I began to play and the audience started to go wild. (Insert the song Monster sung and performed by Skillet). I couldn't help but smirk at the groups surprised expressions as I finished the last chord on my guitar. "And they have learned another one of my many secrets." I thought as I started out the next song as well (Insert the song Hero sung and performed by Skillet). I watched Gibbs face as I sung the lyrics that I had written and I saw understanding flash over his face, then I moved my gaze to my sister as I continued to sing, before switching my gaze out to a general view of the crowd. I started the third song with a chord then the musician on the piano took over then the drums started then we all came in and I begin to sing, (Insert What I've Done sung and performed by Linkin Park). I poured my emotions into all of my songs but this one always tugged out my emotions more than any other. I didn't look at the small group of people that I knew instead I kept my gaze moving through the crowd. I smiled to the crowd and held up a hand to quiet them a bit before speaking, "Hello Washington DC!" The crowd roared in response and I grinned, "Well I hope you're all enjoying yourselves!" The crowd responded enthusiastically and I laughed then put my hands telling them to quiet down. "I wrote a new song a week ago and although we've only got to practice it three times we are going to try and play it tonight for you guys what do you think?" The crowd went nuts and it took three minutes for them to quiet down enough for me to speak again, "Well then here it is I hope you enjoy it!" I hollered the last part before turning to the band and nodding, than I turned back to the microphone and started the intro. I envisioned my captures and all of the torture I was put through then I begin to sing the lyrics. (Insert I Will Not Bow sung and performed by Breaking Benjamin). The Piano player started out the music for our fifth song and we all joined in at the right time then I begin to sing the lyrics. (Insert Numb sung and performed by Linkin Park). This time I was singing to my adopted dad. The rest of the songs were just as wildly loved by the crowd (Radioactive sung and performed by the Imagine Dragons, Bring Me to Life sung and performed by Evanescence, In the End sung and performed by Linkin Park, My Last Breath sung and performed by Evanescence.) Finally it came to our last song I put down my guitar and pulled out the microphone. "Well it's time for the last song. It's slower and slightly sadder then out usual music however someone very special to me inspired this song so I hope you don't mind us playing it." The crowd loudly approved and I nodded to the band. (Insert My Immortal sung and performed by Evanescence). After finishing the last song all of us band members said goodbye to the audience and headed back stage. I begin to sing the newest song that I was in the middle of writing under my breath as I put away my guitar, wiped off the stage make-up and took off all of the stage jewlrey, then I began to change into my street clothes. I changed my stage leather heel knee high boots for my black ankle socks and steel tipped water-proof hiking boots, then I proceeded to exchange my black leather pants for my comfortable black khaki pants. I had taken off my crimson and black leather corset like top and was in the process of pulling on my black tank-top when I heard the door to my dressing room open which I knew I had locked, I turned towards the door while simultaneously pulling my tank-top down and going into a crouch before recognizing the faces that were filling my doorway. "Hey guys. Enjoy the show?" I asked both in reference to the music and the fact that they had walked in on me while I was still in the process of getting dressed as I straightened from my crouch. I turned back around and grabbed my crimson belt it was mainly just for fashion and it clasped in the form of a skull and hung low on my hips. I grabbed my black leather jacket from the chair and my back-pack before turning back to face the group who had remained speechless surprisingly. I raised an eye-brow at them, "Was it that good or that bad?" I asked as I walked towards them, Gibbs seemed to recover first and stepped into my room closing the door and locking it behind him. "Yes?" I said as I faced Gibbs. "That last song, who inspired it?" Gibbs asked as he stepped into my personal space, I didn't back and instead moved until we were just centimeters apart showing him that he still couldn't intimidate me, "Who do you think inspired that song?" I asked. Gibbs didn't answer his blue eye's staring into my violet colored eyes then it seemed to dawn on both of us exactly how close we were to each other and my eyes were drawn like a magnet to his lips, when I finally managed to glace back up at his eyes I saw his eyes were trained on my lips as well, not thinking I licked them before nervously pulled my full bottom lip into my mouth biting down on it. This caused his blue eyes to shoot back up to my violet colored ones and for a few seconds we resisted temptation, then the pull grew to strong and our lips collided we moved to the nearest wall for support his back was pressed up against it then mine then his as we battled for dominance with both our tongues and bodies. When air became necessary we finally pulled back from each other, both of us gasping for air as we stared at each other lust present in both of our gazes. "Well I guess you removed that cactus huh?" I jokingly said we exchanged smiles before the pounding on the door got both of our attention I straightened out his shirt and hair and ran a hand threw my own shoulder length white hair the tips having been dyed crimson for the concert. After pulling my shirt down I un-locked the door and re-opened it only to be bowled over by Abby. "Oh my gosh! Sahara you were AWESOME! Well you and the band, because I know that even though you could have done all of that by yourself you didn't and they helped you and I LOVED your stage clothes. I didn't know that you played guitar! Was that back tattoo real? It's totally cool if it wasn't but I want to know who did it if it's real. And mmmph." Abby said the last part coming out muffled because I put my fingers over her mouth, "Breath Abbs." I said with a laugh before answering her, "I'm glad you liked the music, I thought of you when I picked out my stage clothes, I didn't really think it was important information but yes I play guitar and pretty much every other instrument, yes my back tattoo is real. It was done by a friend after I created the design for it his name is Tool and he lives in Las Vegas. Now why don't we all go to a late supper I'm buying." I said finally removing my finger from Abby's mouth while picking my back-pack up again and moving towards the door. I caught Gibbs eye and silently communicated that we would pick up where we left off later.

TWO MONTH LATER:

Gibbs and I still hadn't talked about what had happened the night of the concert, I was going to bring it up but something told me that he needed time and in all honesty I wasn't really relationship material, so I backed off. Today had been a pretty boring day, just paper-work which I had finally finished I was going to go out on the weekly lunch run when my cell-phone went off. Immediately recognizing the ring-tone I hesitated for a second before picking it up. "Sahara." I listened to the familiar voice of the president of the Shadows agency my face must have paled a little bit because Ziva who had been getting Ducky, Palmer and Abby's lunch order gave me a curious look. I gave her a small smile before turning away from her and continued to listen, "Okay, ich werde da sein STAT." I replied before hanging up my cell-phone. I closed my eyes and took a deep breath in through my nose and slowly let it out of my mouth before deciding to finish out the day and tell the NCIS Director that I would be resigning effect immediately. "It would probably be best to tell Abby face to face after I'm ready to leave." I decided before turning around ready to get the order from Ziva. "Is everything okay?" Ziva asked me as she handed me the sticky-note that had all of the drinks, I gave her a smile shoving back my memories as they strived to come to the surface, "Everything's fine, a friend needs me to do something for them is all." I replied as I took the sticky-note and grabbed my wallet and left NCIS.

Abby freaked out when I sat down and told her about the fact that I was leaving NCIS for good, she alternated between crying, cussing and begging me not to go. When I made it clear that she wasn't going to change my mind she asked why. I didn't want to tell her, but I knew she at least deserved the truth so I took a deep breath and brought up my painful past. "Listen and wait until I'm done before you say anything okay Abbs." I said, she nodded however without my knowledge she had her cell-phone out behind her back and had speed-dialed Gibbs. "When I was seventeen I was captured and imprisoned in the Sahara desert while I was there the people in charge tortured me physically and mentally when they realized that I wasn't going to break they decided to go a step farther. They knocked me out then implanted sperm into me while I was unconscious when I was eight and a half-months pregnant they cut the baby out of me, they sewed me shut and made sure to take good care of the baby, it was a little boy, two weeks after I was sewed shut and had established a relationship with my child they chained me up in a room and brought in a glass four by four container that held six rabid rats they…they then proceeded to put my little boy in the container where he was then eaten alive, while I was chained in the same room, my chains stopping two feet away from the container. I didn't break but I did start to go insane, they thought that they were close to breaking me, so they did it again, only this time it was a baby girl and instead of letting it get eaten alive they placed it on a stain-less steal table top and let it sit there and starve to death, the worst part was that fly's had laid their eggs in my baby, while she was still alive, and she was eaten from the inside out." Here I stopped I couldn't go on remembering it was causing too much pain, insanity was starting to creep back in and tears were flooding down my face my hands balled into fists, I stood up and turned my back to her as I continued onwards, "I was so close to breaking and just going insane, three months afterwards I had the chance to escape, I took it but instead of leaving I killed each and every single person in the slowest most painful and gruesome ways I could think of. I honestly don't remember any of what happened after that, however when I came to two years had passed. I just learned that the man who had devised everything that had happened is still alive and my boss just got Intel that some of the people who work for him are, well he knows where they are and I'm going to find them." I finished keeping my back to Abby. I heard her sobbing and the couch creaked as she stood up and hugged me from behind. "I'm so sorry. Of course you have to go, just try and come back in one piece and call every once in a while to let me know your safe..please." Abby said softly her tears soaking my shoulder, I couldn't speak my throat was to tight so I just patted her head before leaving her apartment.

Gibbs who UN-known to me had been listening to me telling the most damaging part of my life to Abby wasn't about to let me go UN-accompanied. I refused to let him come along and thought that would be the end of it, but not so. Gibbs tried to follow me and ended up getting captured by some slave-traders, I rescued him and let him follow me. He insisted that I wear a bullet-proof vest at all times and he wore on himself however he ended up getting captured by the very people I was there to 'question'. I managed to capture one of the men and after fifteen minutes of interrogation I learned not only who had Gibbs but who the leader was, he was my very own boss, the head of the Shadow's agency. After learning where they had taken Gibbs I killed the man and loaded up with guns, ammo, grenades and a bullet proof vest that Gibbs insisted that I wear and went to get Gibbs back and kill the man who had caused me so much pain. I found the place without to much trouble and used my sniper skills to take out the outside guards before moving in. When I entered the building I took three bullets to the chest and was grateful for the heavy bullet-proof vest Gibbs had insisted I wore. When I had cleared the building, having to use several grenades along the way I found myself in a room full of woman all of them Arabian natives and extremely scared. I stared at the youngest Arabian girl she couldn't have been more than thirteen at the most, I bit my lip my mind racing before deciding I pulled off my extra-large black sweater and unclasped the bullet-proof vest I had on underneath. "You need to wear this under your shirt." I told her in her native tongue. She nodded and took off her outer-shirt, I helped her put it on and after we put our respective outer-shirts on I motioned for her and the other woman to follow me. When we got to the end of the corridor I checked around the corner to make sure it was clear before whispering instructions in her ear and then motioning for her tell the other woman. "Let's start this party." I whispered to myself before running down the hallway and weaving around the dead bodies and threw the small fires and broken walls until I came to the room where the Shadows Agency leader had been holding Gibbs. A note was left for me telling me exactly where they had taken Gibbs, back to the location of the place where I had been captured and tortured where my two children had lived and died.

I was filled with rage and fear as I was torn between going for Gibbs and staying away from that place, Gibbs won out in my head and heart and I made my way back to that hated place of death. The men were in a square shaped with the leader holding a gun to Gibbs head standing in the middle, I waited tensely unsure of how to proceed when Gibbs made the first move, using his head to head-butt the leader then kicking one of his legs under the leaders causing him to hit the sand. I used that distraction to fly in guns blazing taking out several making sure not to get close to Gibbs the leader was on his feet with his gun aimed towards Gibbs when I took out one of my secrets, a metal throwing star its sharp edges were covered in poison it caused immediate paralyzation followed by a slow and painful death. I tossed it with my gloved hand it sliced the leaders ear and the effects were immediate. I was by Gibbs side and I had a grenade in my hand my one finger hooked into the pin, "If anyone shoots me or him I pull the pin and we all die!" I hollered making sure they could all see the grenade. Immediately the men and woman began to back up when they were thirty feet away I told Gibbs to duck before I proceeded to toss three grenades rapidly in the direction of each of the remain groups of people before falling on top of Gibbs. After the explosions my ears were ringing and I was covered in dust but other than a bullet graze on my right bicep and threw and threw on my lower left thigh I was fine. I leaned down and helped Gibbs to his feet and we brushed off and Gibbs started towards the car that the leader had used to transport them here when movement out of the corner of my eye caught my attention. Immediately I dove at Gibbs knocking him down hearing the rapport of a gun going of twice. I grabbed my Glock and fired back killing the remaining woman with a triple tap to the head. Before I lay there in the Arabian sand I rolled over onto my back and stared up at the star filled night sky Gibbs was hollering at me to hold on that help would be here soon. I turned my head towards Gibbs and slowly focused on his frantic face, "Special Agent Leroy Jethro Gibbs, I believe I have fallen in love with you." I said with a smirk trying to sound as sarcastic as possible, it worked, Gibbs relaxed a bit and shook his head at me as he let out a deep breath. "And I thought you were dying. Don't do that to me." He said before using the Shadow's Agency's leaders phone and calling NCIS headquarters and giving an estimate on our position's based on the stars and how long the vehicle had been moving. After he finished his conversation he looked at me, I could feel his confusion and questions but I wasn't going to answer them if he didn't actually ask them. "You should probably make sure that their all actually dead." I told Gibbs as I slowly pushed myself up into a sitting position. "And why aren't you going to help?" Gibbs fired back as he stood up. I smiled, "Because I'm the reason you're still alive." I replied smugly. Gibbs shook his head but smiled and picked up my Glock and a spare thing of ammo I smiled and waited until he had left my line of sight before I took stock of my body. I had been shot twice times, both would have been kill shots if I hadn't been lucky enough to have a birth defect which caused my heart to be on the opposite side of my chest. However from the rapid amount of blood loss I knew some major vein or artery had been nicked. I was about three feet from the vehicle so I drug myself over to it and managed to get myself into a sitting position. I tried to sit straight up hoping that somehow that would help when I felt a cough coming on. I coughed and my body shook jarring my wounds, I could taste blood and I knew I didn't have much time left to live. "Definitely not the way I pictured myself going out, I thought I would have at least had my first serious relationship by now." I thought slightly disappointed with myself, a song came to me and I leaned back against the car tilting my head back to look up at the star studded night sky, (Pippins song from LOTR)

"Home is behind

The world ahead

And there are many paths to tread

Through shadow

To the edge of night

Until the stars are all alight

Mist and shadow

Cloud and shade

All shall fade

All shall

Fade."

"Well that's a depressing song." I heard Gibbs say I turned my head wanting to see him one last time before I died. "Hey…Gibbs, bout what I said earlier,' here I had to pause my energy depleting rapidly, 'I meant it, bout loving you." I said giving him one last smile, my eye's blurring his face before I slumped over, giving into the dark emptiness that had been calling for me. I walked towards the white speck that seemed to be floating in the distance the journey seemed to take years and yet at the same time only seconds before I reached the doorway that I had originally thought to be a white speck. I peeked into the doorway and saw two little children a boy and a girl they looked so familiar they were playing with a young red-headed child while nearby a beautiful woman with red hair sat watching them with a smile on her face. I started to step in threw the doorway when the beautiful woman looked at me, I stopped hesitating she stood and walked over towards me the three children continued to play together. The woman stopped in front of me just inside the doorway, and smiled gently at me, "It's not your time yet. You have many years in-front of you. Jethro still needs you, as does your sister and the small family you have at NCIS." The woman said. I stared at her then I looked at the three children who were now looking at me that's when the realization of who the two young ones were, "Those are…" I started, "Yes they are your children, they are happy and healthy here." The woman said. I looked at the two kids, my two kids, "I…I love yous." I said I could hear something faint in the background and I knew that I was leaving. I looked back at the woman, "What's your name?" I asked urgently, "My name is Shannon and that's my daughter Kelly." The woman, Shannon replied. I swallowed feeling myself being pulled back, "Take care of them. Please take care of them and tell them…tell them mommy loves them and thinks about them every-day." I said. Shannon nodded, "I promise." She said and then I was drifting in the blackness again. "…wake up….love…please…..don't die Sahara." I heard a familiar deep slightly gravely voice say. "Come on Sahara. I need my big sister I just got you please don't leave me." A familiar female voice said several other voices some familiar some not entered my sub-conscious and I begin to fight to wake up. "I need to wake up. Gibbs, Abbs and the others they need me. My little ones are safe and happy now I'm needed alive here." I thought as I struggled to wake up, I felt someone squeeze my hand and tried my hardest to squeeze back, before I drifted away again.I continued to fight and finally I felt my body beginning to respond to me, when I felt someone put their hand in mine, It felt like Gibbs rough and calloused I squeezed managing to put slight pressure on his hand I heard him shout at someone to get the Doctor. I struggled to open my eyes I could hear several voices all talking at once and finally I managed to open my eyes, I ended up staring straight into Gibbs sea blue eyes. I gave him a half-smile, my lips feeling cracked and dry my voice was raspy when I spoke, "Gibbs I think we should start dating." I said, he smiled and I heard several familiar voices laughing and talking in the background. A nurse and doctor came in and that interrupted whatever Gibbs had been going to say but I knew that he wasn't going to back away from this again. I smiled even as I started to slip back into sleep, I finally had a reason to stay alive and even though my little ones were dead they were happy and free from all harm where they were now, and when I do die, hopefully from old age with kids and grand-kids and great-grandkids surrounding me, I will see them again.

IMPORTANT NOTICES: "Okay, ich werde da sein STAT" is GERMAN for "Okay I'll be there STAT." I used the online GERMAN translation so if it's not entirely accurate I apologize.

THERE ACTUALLY IS A COFFEE CALLED DEATH WISH COFFEE APPARENTLY IT'S THE MOST CAFFINATED COFFEE OUT THERE, SERIOUSLY LOOK IT UP ONLINE, SECOND I DON'T KNOW IF STARBUCKS ACTUALLY SALES IT OR NOT I JUST WASN'T FAMILIAR WITH ANY OTHER COFFEE PLACE BEING USED IN THE SHOW. REVIEW AND LET ME KNOW WHAT YOU THINK, ALSO IF YOU HAVE TRIED DEATH WISH COFFEE LET ME KNOW I'M THINKING ABOUT TRYING IT BUT IM NOT ENTIRELY SURE YET…

ALSO THE REASON SHE HAS 'NATURAL WHITE HAIR AND VIOLET COLORED EYES' IS BASED ON THE UN-PROVEN ALEXANDRIA GENESIS, yes it's a real thing you can look it up online.

Anyway please review and let me know what you think, criticism is taken with no hard feelings =)