The Crippled God -AVENGERS fanfic -
chapter 5
A.N./ my dear readers, I am so sorry for making you wait for an update this long! University is taking all my time and energy and last weeks were like living hell. But i'm back now and I promise to update as soon as I can. I am really happy to see that despite there were no updates, people were reading/following/favoriting the story. I got some awesome feedback in pm and I would like to say THANK YOU to all of you! you make me happy.
enjoy the chapter!
''What? Thor is a king?'' Tony's jaw dropped. ''Woah! That's a good thing, is it not, Reindeer Games?''
Loki did not answer. Freyr, on the other hand, shot a hard look on Tony and the Billionaire realized that something was wrong with the Thunder Boy being on the throne. ''what is it? You guys look like have just eaten the whole pack of lemon! Would anyone explain what the heck is wrong?''
''Thor is not quite the same guy now, Tony.'' Freyr sighed. ''Power changes people.''
''Bullshit!'' Tony argued, completely sure of his statement. ''Thor will always love his brother, you should have seen him while we were… '' he paused, not sure if it was a good idea to mention the whole blowing-up-New-York-thing in Loki's presence – the ex-villain was still weak and vulnerable.
''While you what, Anthony?'' Loki asked. Tony shrugged uncomfortably. This was the first time Loki had called him by his name and while he would very much like it, under different circumstances, in the moment it felt really awkward. ''While you were busy portraying me as a villain? While you were saving your miserable planet?''
''Did you not consider there would be a resistance while planning an attack?'' Tony could feel he was getting angry, despite trying hard not to let the emotions take over. ''we had every fuckin right to defend our home! Like hell I am not gonna apologize about that!''
''I never said you had no such right!'' Loki shouted. ''Just don't try to picture my brother as a hero in my presence, if not too much trouble. I've been listening to that my entire life! Just give me a break from that, will you?''
Tony swallowed hard and stared at Freyr in disbelief. He had no idea of what to say. ''Maybe we are not the Heroes, our task was not that hard after all.'' muttered Tony at last. ''I would not consider those Chitauri guys too hard to handle.''
The Billionaire realized he had made a terrible mistake when Loki's face turned all white, hands grabbing sheets, eyes screwed shut, as if he was fighting something painful. ''Not.. hard.. to.. handle?'' he whispered, voice hoarse, barely audible. ''Not.. hard…''
Suddenly the Trickster began to laugh. The laugher was cold, cruel, without any emotion. Loki's body was shaking with the waves of laughter which was so unnatural that it sent chills down Tony's spine. He exchanged glances with Freyr again, desperately searching for an answer, any clue to get what he did wrong. ''Not hard… Not hard…'' the ex-God kept repeating those words like a mantra. ''as if you have ANY idea!'' he screamed out at last.
''Loki..'' Freyr sat on the bed near him, taking the Trickster God's hand. ''I can't bet I know everything, but I definitely have an idea of what you have been through. Please, let me help you. You know they will come for you – and you need me.'' Loki shook his head, still shaking terribly. ''No, listen to me! You know Asgardian Lords keep no love for you. You know they will try to turn Thor against you.'' The half-smirk on the Trickster God's face assured Freyr that his friend was well aware of that. ''tell me what is wrong with you, maybe I will be able to heal you.'' With those words, he grabbed the blanket and pulled it down from Loki's chest.
Loki's eyes moved to Tony, who was standing in the corner. Freyr did not miss the unspoken remark. ''Tony, would you mind giving us some privacy?'' he asked the Billionaire.
''Of course.'' Tony muttered and walked towards the door.
The Trickster raised his brows skeptically, after he heard the sound of the door being closed carefully. ''you were never the one with self-esteem problems, weren't you?'' he chuckled. ''you really think yourself capable of defeating the curse?''
''what's wrong with giving it a try?'' Freyr asked back and unbuttoned the white shirt the Fallen God was wearing. With small smile on his lips, Loki nodded and rested his head on the pillow, staring at the ceiling. He could not make himself watch how others practiced magic. It was way too painful. Somewhere, in the dark corners in his shattered mind, he even wished Freyr to be gone. Loki was trying hard to forget anything about his past, about Asgard and having the talking, walking, joyful proof of what he had been himself, what he lost was not helping his rotten mood in the slightest. On the other side, he could feel the small glimpse of hope – foolish hope that there might be a cure, that he might still have a chance to be himself again. Of course, no one was able to give him his magic back – his power, casted away from him by the All-father himself, but if his legs would return to active state, if he could leave this god damned Tower and go outside again – to see the trees, grass, flowers. Breathe a bit of fresh air.
''Loki?'' Freyr interrupted the heavy train of his thoughts. ''concentrate! I can't do all the work alone.''
The Trickster God's checks blushed a bit. His friend was right. ''Yes, Freyr?''
''so, tell me exactly what you can and can not feel while I'm doing this.'' The Silver-haired man said and held his hand two or three centimeters away from Loki's body. The Magician's long fingers were glowing with blue light, sparkles spreading around his hands, falling like snowflakes, setting on the Trickster God's bare skin.
''it's cold.'' Loki whispered.
''yes, good.'' Freyr stated and moved his fingers down, holding them over Loki's waist now. ''and now?''
''yes, still cold.''
Freyr smiled and moved to the legs.
Loki got confused. It was no longer cold, but hot. Terribly hot, as if he was on fire. The Trickster swallowed hard. So that's where it goes wrong, he thought. Of course he could still lie – he was the God of lies after all, but even he could not lie to himself. His feeling were betraying him. The cruel truth had to be faced. ''it's hot.'' He tried hard to keep his voice steady and not to let the stubborn tears fall from his eyes.
The Silver-haired man smirked and nodded. ''good, very good.'' Loki stared at him in disbelief. ''and did you really forget THIS soon that am a prankster just like you?''
Loki blinked. Once, twice. ''wait, did you.. lie to me? You changed the spell!'' he managed at last.
''yeah, okay I did.'' Freyr chuckled. ''Sorry.''
''how dare you pulling jokes on this! I will kill you!'' Loki screamed and threw a pillow on his friend. Freyr laughed and returned the gesture by hugging the raven-haired man, stocking his messy hair. Loki doubted at first, but soon relaxed and leaned into a touch. ''Freyr.'' He whispered.
''yes?''
''i..'' Loki sighed heavily. ''I.. think you should leave.''
''should I?'' Freyr asked back sarcastically.
''yes. I am grateful, I really am but it's dangerous. The All-father will punish you if he knows.''
''but he won't, he's in Odinsleep. Thor allowed me. Even more, he had sent me.'' The Silver-haired Man wrapped his hands around Loki's lean body tightly. ''And, by the way, is that your special manner of saying that you love me?''
''Love? '' The Trickster smirked. ''Love is for the happy people, Freyr.''
''Am I happy then?'' the Magician asked.
''I think we have discussed that before.''
''oh yes, that we have.'' The Vanir agreed. ''but I thought you may have learned something by now. Times differ, Loki. Things change, things end.''
''Nothing ends, Freyr. World just repeats itself, in numberless forms, in numberless times, in life after life, in age after age, forever. How long are you going to wait? Let it go.''
''Is this stubbornness a trading mark of the royal family?''
''surely it is, but I don't think I've inherited that nonetheless.'' The Trickster smirked and let go of his friends hands, resting on the bed again. ''you might have heard rumors about me being a Frost Giant, have you not?''
''Yes I have. What of that?'' Freyr smiled, still holding Loki's hand.
''well, they are true.''
''And what else is new? Care to explain why you decided attacking Midgard was a good idea?''
''Talking of Midgard, care to explain why exactly Thor had sent you here?'' Loki asked back, raising his brows skeptically at his friend.
''hm.. I should discuss some political matters with.. Who's the big guy here anyway?'' Freyr said more cheerfully then Loki expected.
''Stark will be happy to help you.'' The Sorcerer said, covering his emotions with the cold, indifferent mask.
''Where is he?'' Freyr stood up. ''how can I find him?''
''ask Jarvis.'' Loki answered, staring at the ceiling, feeling empty, black void overcoming him. Was this feeling driven just with pathetic inability to say goodbye?
''Loki..'' Freyr turned to his friend again.
''Don't.'' Loki cut shortly.
The awkward silence was broken by the phone ringing again. Freyr looked down at the screen of his Iphone, then looked at the Trickster, then at the gadget again. At last he pressed the ,,accept'' button and took the step towards the door.
''yes James, dear.'' Loki heard Freyr say before the door was shut after him.
Tony was right. Bruce never got to his bedroom, but he was not in his lab as well, sitting at the bar instead, with a glass of whiskey in his hands.
Well, this was strange and meant no good at all. Tony took a chair next to his friend.
''hey, Bruce?''
''oh, Tony.'' Bruce looked at him with tired eyes. ''I didn't see you.''
''You look like hell, Brucey, go get some rest.''
''I can't sleep Tony.'' Banner answered, rubbing his eyes. ''I can't stop thinking.''
''Tell me.'' Tony encouraged his friend, pouring himself a glass of drink as well. ''come, on, Big Guy, speak up!'' the Billionaire put a hand on the Scientist's shoulder.
''It's about Loki.'' Bruce said at last. ,,oh what else is new?'' Tony thought bitterly. He was not sure when the Trickster God had done more damage to him – while invading earth or after his failure. What were they going to do now with him? Suddenly he remembered someone and curse himself mentally for being this idiotic. ''Bruce.'' He said. ''I've got good news.''
''Oh really?'' Bruce's face has lightened up a bit. ''what news?''
''Some Magician is here, with… '' in the exact same moment Tony realized he never actually called Loki by his name. ''Loki..'' well that sounded strange. But.. heck, why was he acting like stupid teenage girl when it came to the God of Chaos? '' he came from Asgard.''
''WHAT?'' Bruce stood up so fast that the chair fall to the floor. ''And you left them alone? Have you lost your mind completely?''
''Calm down, Banner! He means no harm, heck, Loki was so happy see him, they almost made out right there you know!'' Tony joked.
Bruce shrugged uncomfortably. ''It is not the time, Tony!'' he warned. ''what does he want?''
''hm, guess the Thunder Boy sent him, to talk to Big Bosses here on earth, not sure why.''
''Sir, Mr. Njordson would like to talk to you.'' Jarvis' voice interrupted.
'''yeah, that's him. kay, Jarv, let him in here.''
''Actually, I am already in here, Anthony.''
A voice behind his back really scared shit out of Tony. ''what the hell, bro! Are all of Asgardians this rude when it comes to someone's personal space? And stop calling me Anthony!'' he added after his breath had calmed down a bit.
''I need to talk to your boss.'' Freyr cut shortly. ''It was nice to chat with my friend Loki (judging by his facial expressions, Tony would argue on the point that conversation was not really as ,,nice'' as the Asgardian claimed. Not that he was amazed, knowing Loki a bit after all.), but I have a business to settle as well. I should speak to your boss, on behalf of Asgard and Vanaheim.''
''And tell him what exactly?'' Bruce cut in. This guy seemed suspicious to him. Bruce did not expect an Alien Magician to look like some hipster dude.
Freyr shot an interesting glance at him. ''And you are?''
''Bruce Banner.''
''Nice to meet you, Bruce, my name is Freyr Njordson, I am the crown prince of Vanaheim and Lord Councilor of Royal Council of Asgard. Thor has sent me to settle relationships with Midgard's rulers.''
''I fail to see how our relationship with Thor needs to be settled by strangers.'' Bruce noticed coldly.
''I see no point in discussing the details right now, Mr. Banner.'' Freyr answered diplomatically. ''if you mistrust has anything to do with Loki, I assure you, if there is anyone in Asgard, who Loki would be happy to see, I'm one of those few people. You can ask him.''
''you think I will be fooled that easily?'' Bruce snapped. Tony stared at his friend, astonished, what has gotten into him all of sudden? ''you!'' Bruce went on. ''if you truly care about him, why did you leave him alone? Have you got any idea..''
''Bruce, he does not, actually.'' Tony muttered, realizing his mistake. ''I never told him and I doubt that Loki did either.''
''Told me what?'' Freyr asked, confused.
''About him sessions of some.. illness.. we can do nothing about.'' Tony sighed. ''that Thanos guy is controlling his mind still, he ..''
''Thanos?'' Freyr whispered. All color drained from his face and both Avengers got that the name meant lot more to this guy then it would ever mean to them, despite the fact that they were the ones witnessing Loki's strange symptoms. ''Thanos made him start the attack?''
''We think so.'' Bruce nodded. ''And now, he's assaulting his mind, to assure him of another attack. Flashback or some kind of trance happens to him every once in a while.''
The Scientist stopped and stared at Freyr in disbelief – the man's face expressed the unbelievable pain. He grabbed the edge of the table to steady himself, shaking his head as if trying to avoid the information he was just given. ''No.'' he whispered. ''No!'' his eyes were flashing a pure rage, blue lights covering his slender fingers. He took a short pause and then shot a look at the Midgardians of half-disbelief and half-confusion. ''How do you know? About the plan of new attack, Loki would never share such information with you!''
''Crap, that never came to me.'' Tony cursed. ''Yes, really, why? Why would the God of Lies seize the first opportunity to tell the truth that would end up with no good for him?''
''Is not that obvious, Tony?'' Bruce sighed heavily. Both Tony and Freyr stared at him.
''I'm sorry to interrupt, Sir, but Mr. Laufeyson seems to be in a need of assistance.'' Jarvis' voice announced.
The three man exchanged glance. Freyr whispered some curse in a language neither Tony nor Bruce could understand, turned around and disappeared into the air.
The two Midgardian Heroes hurried to the elevator.
Loki could feel his temperature rising and his heart beating madly. The Trickster closed his eyes and tried to concentrate on the surroundings. He would not ask for help, he could not risk his plan to fail by letting Freyr know about the state he really was in. if he asked the Jarvis to put Tony or Bruce on alert, his friend would know as well.
Loki was feeling himself weakening by every passing minute, every breath he took was painful, his lungs were not provided the oxygen they needed. The Trickster was struggling, using the last bit of the energy he had left to stay awake, by the time Freyr's figure materialized into the air.
''Loki!'' he rushed by his friends side, helping him to sit up. ''oh you fool, why did you not tell me?''
Loki looked up at him and smiled. ''I'm sorry.'' He barely managed to say.
''Let me help you.'' Freyr summoned all his magic in a ball of flashing blue light and placed both hands on the Trickster's chest. The pain Loki felt was agonizing, he was shaking violently, gasping for breath. Air, Air! HE NEEDED AIR! GOD, WHY WOULD NO ONE UNDERSTAND?
''Freyr, stop!'' the Trickster to croak before the complete darkness overtook him.
This time Loki was prepared of what was about to come. Or he hoped he was.
The landscape was painfully familiar; black, sharp rocks, blue lights and heavy air. He searched for the tall, broad figure of his arch-enemy, supposing Thanos to be standing somewhere near him, to be mocking and torturing him, but the ex-God of Chaos was completely alone.
Loki could fell slight glimpse of hope lighten up in his mind – maybe it was not too late still to turn back? Maybe his mind was not take over by the illusion completely? Loki closed his eyes and tried to concentrate. ,,I'm not here, this is not happening..'' deep inside his heart he knew that out there somewhere, in real world, Freyr was standing beside his bad, calling for him to come back, trying to wake him up.
''Freyr?'' Loki whispered, hoping that his friend has not given up yet. The Trickster knew not how much time passed, maybe just a couple of minutes, or several days, or a week already, there was no such thing as time in this trice-curse place.
''What are you fighting for, Loki?'' a calm, soft voice asked him.
''Who's this? Who are you? '' Loki wanted to scream, but he could not manage to make a single sound. It is not Thanos, it's not him – the Mad Titan had never called the Trickster God by his real name – he always preferred to use some humiliating nicknames, referring to his state or his true heritage, such as ,,pathetic'' ,,Jotun Runt'' and so on.
''What side are you on? Answer me!''
''I am on no one's side, because there is no one willing to side with me.'' Loki thought bitterly. Oh the silver tongue – the weapon of his preference – what a pity it will be no help this time.
''For once in your pathetic existence, you speak the truth, Runt.'' The all-familiar voice of Thanos mocked. '' or you rather THINK the truth, in you disgusting excuse of a mind. Do you think I see not through you? You are a fool. You have chosen the hard, painful way to give me what I want. Again. What a pity, I thought you would learn of our experience. Your stubbornness will only worsen your pain. I will ask once more time, will you not bow your head to me, will you not call me your master?''
''Never, never never!'' Loki screamed mentally. Oh how he wished he could spat those words in Thanos' face.
''do you know what will happen to you, if you dare to accept not my orders, pet, if you accept not willingly what you are given? Have you got any idea of what happen to you?''
''I know.'' Loki thought, yes, he knew – torture, humiliation, pain, misery – that was all that was left for him in this wasteland of darkness. Nothing he had no experience before.
''Are you sure?'' Thanos' figure materialized into the air in front of the God of Lies. ''tell me, Trickster, when I promised to give you fate worse than death itself, is THIS what you thought was about to come? Is this what you considered as your punishment?''
No, it was not, Loki had to admit. Maybe Thanos would manage to surprise him with his creative methods of punishment this time as well. The thought was not at all pleasing. The only thing the Fallen God was sure of, death was not going to be the punishment he was about to face. Oh, no. that would be too quick, to painless - letting the darkness overcome him, resting his mind to eternal peace – death was the luxury he was not going to get.
At the exact same moment, chains appeared around Loki's thin, pale wrists and tied him to the wall that Trickster could swear, was not there mere seconds ago. The Fallen God caught the glimpse of sharp, silver metal in his soon-to-be-torturer's hand and closed his eyes, trying to prepare himself for horrors that were about to come.
''Loki?''
Loki jerked back, stunned. Whatever he assumed was going to happen, this… he snapped his eyes open and shot a glance at the figure standing mere meters away from him, with a dagger in his hands. His worst fears were about to come into life.
It was Thor. Small weak smile twitched Loki's lips. Of course. He should have guessed by now. The Titan was really smart. Why not make him suffer at the hands of the one his still cared about the most? Whatever lies the Trickster might utter in front of his not-brother, no matter how much hatred he would draw upon him, Loki knew he still cared. For that he hated himself and Thanos, who could look into the deepest and darkest corners in his soul, knew that full well.
But he forgot one thing. If he had an access to Loki's mind, the Fallen God could see through his enemy as well. He learned to comprehend his illusions. No matter how realistic the image looked, this was not Thor and Loki has grown enough in his exile, to know that. The knowledge of this place not being real, was the strongest weapon Loki was going to have.
''You are not Thor.'' He said, wrapping his mind around the fact, reassuring himself, repeating those words in his mind over and over again, like a mantra, for those words were the only thing he had left to clung to. '
Thor smiled and raised the dagger, plugging it into Loki's left shoulder.
Loki screamed. He tried hard to muffle the sounds of the agony coming from his throat, but it was impossible. Every cell in his body was ripping apart, he fire began to spread from the wound down his spine, the pain was too much to handle. The Trickster wondered why he was trying to stay strong at all. Nobody would come for him. Nobody ever did. No one cared enough to jump into the void after him, speaking both literally and figuratively. He was going to be stuck here, at Thor-Thanos' mercy, until enough time passed for his body to shut down. The would inflicted upon him here were unbearably painful, but out there, in the real world, they were not going to be that bad, Thanos would take careful measurement for he was not intending to let Loki die. All he hoped for was that his weakened, mortal body would not be able to get out alive. That was when Loki remembered all the mortal technology, supporting his life. No, mortals would not let him slip from their hand that easily. Looking at the smirking illusion of his brother, who just hardened his pressure on the weapon, Loki wondered what Stark and Banner would do if they knew what they were actually doing to him, in order to keep him alive. Would they spear his life, would they turn their devices off and let him rest? Or would they prefer to watch him suffer, watch him pay the price for his crimes?
The thought faded at the new wave of pain surging through his body when the Thunder God turned the dagger in the opposite direction. The sound of skin tearing apart and the way the sharp metal was slicing through the flesh, baring the collarbone, almost made Loki vomit. He closed his eyes to at last not see what was being done to him, not to stare at his not-brother's wild eyes, flashing madness at him, not to see the expression of joy and fulfillment of Thor's face, when Loki's blood poured down on his armor and hands.
''look at me, coward!'' Thor snapped.
''You… are… not.. him..'' Loki choked out, panicking at the realization that this simple truth was already slipping from his mind, that he was already getting to the point where he would no longer be able of making the difference.
''oh, am I not?'' the copy of the Thunder God laughed, his voice cruel, cold and bone-freezing, like the wind of winter in Jotunheim. ''Do you love me, brother, prey tell?''
Loki stayed silent, until another dagger was stuck in his second shoulder, pinning the Trickster to the wall even harder. ''Answer me!'' Thor shouted. ''Do you still love me?''
''yes.'' Loki whispered.
The simple three-letter word gave the figure a short pause. ''yes?'' he repeated after the silent seconds. ''Do you believe I am your brother?''
Loki pressed on his mind, desperate to find the answer. Why? Why was his brother torturing him? .. ,,Price for your crimes'' the voice inside his head answered. Yes, that much is true but.. Where were they? It was not like Asgard, not Midgard as well. The Sorcerer had a feeling he was missing a important piece of the puzzle. Where am i? I forgot something, something vital, I have to recall, I have to…
''you are weak and pathetic!'' Thor mocked, plugging the third knife in the Trickster God's body, this time above the waist. The three knives created the perfect triangle and when Thor grabbed one of them and started scratching something on his brother's chest, Loki realized the intention of the Thunderer at last.
''did you think me not capable of torturing you? Did you consider my justice would not be played upon your head?''
Loki just smiled and shook his head. Something… something was wrong but he could not exactly put his finger on it. As Thor went on with scratching the symbol on his skin, Loki finally made himself watch and was stunned. Of course he could feel that two knives were tearing the flesh on his shoulders, but the sight of the triangle hanging upside down made him realize the truth.
Thor was ,,drawing'' his symbol on Loki's chest. Mjolnir. But there was a little detail he had missed.
His brother would never draw the Hammer this way. He always used to sketch it as he was used to see it – from the handle. Frigga's tries to teach him the right way of drawing it turned out to be in vain.
This man was not Thor. Neither he was of Asgard or Midgard. The ones of Jotunheim would not mask themselves as Asgardians, the shame of wearing Aesir skin was too much for them to bear.
Loki looked around; noticing the surrounding again, as the pain seemed to back away and he recognized the place. ''you lose, Thanos.'' He said.
A.N./ this was it :) hope you liked it. I just want to remind you of the fact that CASTING FOR THE ROLE OF FREYR IS STILL ON!
I've got several amazing ideas, but I will wait for more.
reviews are most welcomed! every single one of them makes my day better! and follow/favorite of course.
Till the next update! Love you all!