Church's Crusade #20: Nocturnal Wanderings
Church and his team looked down on the Red base from their position up on the cliffs. Church shivered slightly as he looked around.
"What's wrong?" asked Anna nervously.
"It's just…if I go a few feet back that way, I'll be standing on the spot where I was killed. It's not the most pleasant feeling." Church looked back at the base.
It was hardly recognizable as the small border fort it had been before. Barbed wire and machine gunner positions blocked the approaches, and large watch towers swept the surrounding area with search lights. Church turned to look at his squad again, then at the base, then his squad, finally focusing on Anna. He opened a slot in his armour and passed Anna a slim black cylinder.
"We don't want anyone hearing your shots. Use this silencer on your rifle. And stay here. You should be able to see the entire base from here." Anna nodded and began to fit the silencer to her rifle. Church looked at Grif and Caboose, "You two. You're with me…"
Private Grant was standing at his watch post, when he heard voices coming out of the darkness in front of him. Suddenly alert he listened as they became clearer.
"...we need to get past their lines, that's why. Plus I can't carry the thing and fight at the same time. And Caboose has done this before, he's qualified."
"Well maybe, but I still think that I don't need to be here."
"Oh shut Grif. Okay Caboose ready to be an Ambassador again?"
"Ooh, I like being an Ambidasdor. I am very good at it."
"Once again, if it's too hard to pronounce, you could just call yourself 'bait'."
"……………..I prefer Ambidasdor."
Grant watched as a figure came out of the darkness, resolving itself into a figure with blue armour. Grant reached over into the sentry box beside him and flicked the switch to call reinforcements. The figure stopped in front of the surprised Private and said, "Hello, I am Private Michael J Caboose, and I will be your Ambidasdor for this evening…"
Nearby, Church waited until the enemy squad had completely surrounded Caboose before saying into his microphone, "Okay Caboose, clear your mind. Think calming thoughts." Church took a deep breath, "And now think of evil kittens covered in spikes…"
Grant watched in surprise as Caboose seemed to shake his head then gave out what could only e described as a roar. He then reached up to pull his battle rifle from his back, hit one of the nearby soldiers with it and gave off the cry, "I will destroy all your bad feelings." He then turned and began to shoot, or, brain everyone in reach…
In the ensuing chaos, Church and Grif slipped through the enemy positions and towards the point marked on Sarge's map. Twice Church had to kill enemy soldiers, first with his combat knife and later by snapping the man's neck and one time a man would have shot Grif, if Anna had not picked him off at a distance. They finally reached the tree that the bomb was buried under. Church looked at the spot then, rather than use the spade on his back, he gripped the tree and began to rip it out of the ground. As the tree finally came free of the earth that held it, pulling a great deal of earth with it, Church caught his first glimpse of the top of the bomb. Now taking the spade, he began to scrape away the dirt, Grif posing as a very unreliable sentry. At last he had the large metal cylinder free and he hauled it up in both arms. He looked at Grif, "Okay, lets go." They began to sprint back through the base. To the point of chaos that was Caboose. Grif fired occasionally if someone got too close. However, as expected, the bulk of the enemy was taken down by Anna. Soon they cleared the base and were running for the cliff. Church looked back and shouted, "Come on Caboose. Time to go…"
When they arrived back in the caves, Church set down the bomb and looked at Sarge, "Well we made it. No thanks to this guy." He pointed at Grif.
"Well can I help it if I'm in the wrong career path?"
"Yes, you could. You could have gotten out of the army a long time ago!"
"I would have but Sarge wouldn't let me!"
At this point Sarge stepped in, "Please, please gentleman, dirtbag, ma'am,' he nodded at Anna, she nodded in reply, 'There is a very simple way of dealing with this. Church, do you mind?"
"Mind what?"
"You'll see,' Sarge looked at Grif, 'Alright then, CODEWORD: DIRTBAG."
It was as if Church suddenly had no control over his body, but it was still doing exactly what he wanted. He stepped forward and brought his gun into the side of Grif's head. Grif was out like a light in an instant. Sarge looked pleased, "Right. Now that I'm feeling better, you want to help me shift this bomb into position?..."
The characters Church, Caboose, Tucker, Simmons, Sarge, Grif, Sister, Donut and Doc are owned by Rooster Teeth Productions.