We're the Band Chapter 10: Dread Pirate Shinji Gets a Talk, an evangelion fanfic

"We're The Band"

Chapter 9: The Dread Pirate Shinji Gets A Talk

Saturday Morning – Shinji's Lovely Suite

Shinji awoke in his room relatively early having had the most relaxed and satisfying night's sleep within recent memory. He was about to stretch his numb arm when his sleepy brain registered the reason for the numbness – a certain red-headed form that chose that moment to snuggle back up to his chest and pull the blanket a little tighter. Shinji smiled to himself and settled back into the pillow, his free hand absently stroking Asuka's hair.

"hmmmm . . . morning . . . " mumbled a sleepy Asuka after a few minutes.

"Morning," came the contented reply from Shinji.

"Good morning, kids," came Misato's reply from the doorway.

Both Asuka and Shinji sat upright as if jolted by an electric shock. They stared apprehensively at their guardian who gave them one of her cute, chibi faces and said, "You look sooooo cute together."

"W-w-what?" sputtered Shinji, "It's not what you think . . ."

"Don't you even knock, Misato?" yelled Asuka over the top of Shinji's stuttering.

"What's all the yelling about?" queried a still sleepy Rei while rubbing her eyes and standing next to Misato in the doorway clutching a small stuffed animal in her hand looking, for all the world, like she was a grumpy toddler in her pajamas.

But, Misato's face changed back to her Sub-Commander face and the tone changed as well. "We need to talk. Get cleaned up and we'll talk over breakfast."

All three children glanced at each other. They knew that tone and that nothing good could come of it if Misato was using it at home.

Later that morning, Shinji was sitting down at the table with his plate having made breakfast for everyone. Misato had foregone her normal liquid breakfast and merely waited for the children to finish. She had watched Shinji and Asuka fairly closely since the dance, and while relieved that they seemed to be fairly mature and weren't pushing any boundaries on their relationship, Misato was still concerned that they were hormone driven teens with relatively fragile psyches.

Shinji and Asuka, both finished with breakfast, were sitting quietly waiting for Misato to get started. They were sitting closer than normal as Misato cleared her throat.

"Ok, we're going to have The Talk, since I found you two sleeping together." Raising her hand to stop the protest building in Shinji and Asuka, Misato barreled on. "I believe you that nothing beyond sleeping occurred, and I've actually been thinking that we needed to have this discussion since the dance. So, do you understand the 'mechanics' of sex and pregnancy?" Not waiting for an answer, Misato proceeded on a fairly detailed physiology lecture leaving all three children blushing furiously. Asuka and Shinji even had a death grip on each other's hands under the table. Rei was practically in shock but was relieved that Misato hadn't resorted to diagrams and models.

She then launched into a fairly relevant and thoughtful discussion of the emotional part of the decision. She almost clinically described pros and cons along with other factors such as peer pressure and the need to fit in and feel loved. Ultimately, the small family agreed that if any of the children were going to take a relationship beyond their agreed upon limits, they would talk to Misato first. Misato, having wrung this concession out of Shinji, Rei, and Asuka, was privately very pleased with herself since she knew of no other parent who had gotten that kind of promise (of course, she had the advantage of professional, long term psychiatric monitoring of her children that most parents don't get) and she was reasonably certain that they would not break their promise to her.

The children adjourned to Shinji's room a little in shock, but Asuka, not able to let Misato have the last word, said as she closed the door, "Oh, Misato? I think I'm going to let Shinji get to third base." She left the door open just long enough to hear Misato choke on her beer at the comment.

As Asuka turned from the now closed door with a smirk on her face, she noticed Shinji sitting shell shocked on his bed and Rei, still blushing, looking very distraught at Shinji's desk. "Well, wasn't that just a pleasant morning conversation," she said in a voice dripping with sarcasm as she sat down next to Shinji.

The children sat quietly trying to regain control of their spinning emotions and, later, quietly plotted revenge.

Monday – Band Practice

They had been in the room for the last ten minutes trying to come up with a name for the band. Asuka, Rei, Hikari, and, surprisingly, Toji, had rejected every name they had come up with so far – primarily because they were all things Kensuke had come up with out of his military otaku vocabulary. To top it all off, Shinji had spent most of the day trying to talk like a pirate to the annoyance of Kensuke and Toji and the amusement of the girls.

Shinji, who had been practicing one of the bands new tunes mostly because it helped him think and be creative, suddenly had an idea. "Arrrgh, avast me hearties. We be pretty much doing covers, right?"

He got speculative nods from everyone including Kensuke who had ceased the non-stop stream of military terms. "And, we be wanting something witty, but nothing extreme, right?"

Again, the head nods.

"How about 'The Cover-Ups'?"

Asuka looked at Shinji as if he had just oozed what little brains he had out his ears. "You can not be serious about that? And, you can stop the 'Dread Pirate Shinji' act now."

Meanwhile, Kensuke began to enthusiastically nod his head and was about to endorse the idea when he got the 'be quiet sign' from Rei, Hikari, and Toji.

"I admit that it's a little goofy, but considering what we do for a living, don't you find it funny?"

"Not in the least. It's lame."

"Not as lame as that band you recently re-discovered in Misato's CD pile – 'The 5, 6, 7, 8's'."

"Is not."

"Is too."

"Not!"

"Too!"

"Not!"

Seeing that this had rapidly deteriorated into nothing useful, Hikari cleared her throat causing Asuka and Shinji to stop the intellectual equivalent of a rubber band fight. The little group kept at it for another ten minutes before Shinji came up with another suggestion.

"How about 'Makes Purple'?"

Asuka began looking at the floor which caused Rei to ask, "Asuka, what are you doing?"

"I think Shinji just lost all the marbles out of his head and I was going to look for them before my Baka got any dumber," responded Asuka to the amusement of everyone.

Toji, on the other hand, was completely lost. "How did you come up with that?" he demanded of Shinji.

"Red and Blue make purple, don't they?" replied Shinji with little nods towards the laughing Rei and Asuka. "Besides, my Unit-01 was purple."

"Hikari Horaki to the Principal's office. Hikari Horaki to the Principal's office." Blared the loudspeaker.

Hikari jumped up and headed off leaving a confused bunch of friends behind in the room. Lacking any better ideas and wanting to move on to music, the group just settled on "Makes Purple" until something better presented itself.

It was Toji's turn to pick the practice song. As he handed out the music, Shinji's face clouded a little at the song title. Asuka didn't even explain herself. She just slapped him.

As Toji picked himself up off the floor, he looked around and mumbled a confused, "What did I do this time?"

Shinji forestalled the screaming tirade from Asuka with a short, "What's up with this?" while waving the music in front of Toji.

"Shinji, Van Halen rocks. You said so yourself, and 'Runnin' with the Devil' is totally old school Van Halen."

"I know that. Why this particular song?"

"No reason. Hikari said it would be ok." Replied Toji in a last ditch effort to avoid a thorough beating.

"Well, what other options did you bring?"

"Well, there's this Metallica song – 'Whiskey in the Jar' that's pretty good. Mari found it on the net and thought you'd like to play it."

"Let's do that one until Hikari gets back." And then, softly so only Toji can hear, "I asked you already to stop the name calling."

"I know. But, your girlfriend just grates on me. It's been that way since we met on the 'Over The Rainbow', you know."

"Yeah, but please try harder."

"Let's just play."

With that, Shinji nodded to Asuka who counted off the tune since she had the acoustic and Shinji was going to play the electric lead. Mostly unnoticed by the band, a large group of students had gathered both in the room and the hall. They were pretty much broken in two groups – Rei fanboys who were trying to get her attention and fearful Shinji fangirls who were gauging their odds of surviving an encounter with Asuka. In the midst of this audience, the Principal and Hikari stood unobtrusively.

Behind the soft acoustic strumming, Shinji's electric guitar began the haunting, bluesy opening with heavy reverb. Then he transitioned into the slightly more conventional passage as the rest of the band joined in. As the introduction transitioned to the main melody, Shinji had returned to the Dread Pirate Shinji mode much to Rei's amusement and a rolling of Asuka's eyes and stepped up to the microphone.

As I was goin' over the Cork and Kerry mountains

I saw Captain Farrell and his money he was countin'

I first produced my pistol and then my rapier

I said stand and deliver or the devil he may take ya

Musha ring dum a doo dum a da

Wait for my daddy-o

There's whiskey in the jar-o

During the short guitar break, Shinji stayed pretty close to the way it had been transcribed from the recording. But, Rei started to really get into the music and her mop of blue hair started to bob up and down in syncopation to the bass line she was playing much to the joy of her section of adoring fanboys. Asuka looked up from her finger positions to observe this little interaction and nearly missed the next chord change.

I took all of his money and it was a pretty penny

I took all of his money and I brought it home to Molly

She swore that she'd love me, never would she leave me

But the devil take that woman for you know she tricked me easy

Musha ring dum a doo dum a da

Wait for my daddy-o

There's whiskey in the jar-o

Toji and Shinji's voices seemed pretty well suited to the hard rock punch of the lyrics. As they transitioned into the main guitar break, Shinji began to experiment. He started working the room much to the delight of the fangirls who started to giggle at his passing by. Shinji reached a relatively long note in the solo and had timed his walk to be in front of his amp to generate an interesting feedback note which he modulated by changing the orientation of his guitar and his proximity to the amp. He moved on and closed the solo with the transcribed whammy fall off.

Being drunk and weary I went to Molly's chamber

Takin' my Molly with me and I never knew the danger

For about six or maybe seven in walked Captain Farrell

I jumped up, fired off my pistols and shot him with both barrels

Musha ring dum a doo dum a da

Wait for my daddy-o

There's whiskey in the jar-o

Now some men like the fishin' and some men like the fowlin'

And some men like ta hear a cannon ball a roarin'

Me I like sleepin' specially in my Molly's chamber

But here I am in prison, here I am with a ball and chain yeah

Musha ring dum a doo dum a da

Wait for my daddy-o

There's whiskey in the jar-o

The small group finished their practice to the applause, hoots and hollers of the gathered students. The accolades were short lived, though, as the Principal cleared his throat. At his glance, the students reluctantly filed out with the last one closing the door. Meanwhile, Shinji and Kensuke powered down the electronics and Toji came out from behind the riser.

"So, that was most entertaining. I'm a little surprised on your musical choices. Care to tell me why you've chosen mostly pre-Second Impact pieces?" queried the Principal.

All of the teens pretty much turned to face Shinji awaiting his explanation but also realizing that their musical repertoire was not the main reason the Principal was here. Shinji merely sighed and began his response, "Well, sir, most of the more modern music has too many electronic effects that take a long time to replicate and becomes a button push on the keyboard. That's really not much fun for me as a guitar player, so I tend to focus on the rock and roll that's more fun for me to play."

"Well, Ikari-san, that's a more complex and insightful answer than I had expected," replied a thoughtful Principal to a stunned Shinji who, being a fairly humble boy with some unrealistic views of his own fame, didn't expect the Principal to know who he was.

Shaking himself back into the moment, the Principal continued, "Anyways, at Horaki-san's suggestion, we're expanding our conversation to the entire group. We were discussing having your group play a short, lunch time concert in celebration of some of the recent achievements of our students. However, I have some conditions and want to voice my reservations that are driving the conditions."

The group of teens had unconsciously taken seats in the front row of the classroom even as the Principal had moved to the lecture position normally occupied by the teaching staff.

"First, I want no more serious, public displays of affection like at the dance. I am still getting irate phone calls from parents regarding the poor moral character examples we're setting here."

Asuka is again about to angrily retort with her considerable debating skills until she remembers Shinji's discussion about cultural differences as his hand warmly embraces hers under the desk. While it's clear that she's not happy, she swallows her remarks and a relieved Shinji lets out the breath he'd been holding.

Oblivious to the near verbal death, the Principal rambles on as the teens suddenly realize why their teachers are all so boring, "Second, your set list needs to be approved by me, and you will not be allowed to deviate from it."

The small group just looked at each other. This last request was hardly surprising. It seemed like every adult over the age of 45 felt like "the young people" listened to music that destroyed the values of society – even when it was the same music they had listened to as teens.

"Lastly, no more hacking into the school facility controls. It took us a week to regain control of the lighting in the gym."

At this last one everyone looked at a now blushing Kensuke who was desperately trying to find a way to blush and look innocent at the same time. Bowing to the inevitable, he mumbled his agreement.

"Now, if this concert goes well, I may have your band play at the next dance. So, are we agreed?"

With the deal set, the small group cleaned up and began their trek home.

"So, Kensuke, did you get to see Yuki-san today before club?" queried an innocent sounding Rei.

Kensuke turned as red as Asuka's Eva at the mention of the girl he had danced with. Asuka, walking behind Kensuke with Shinji's hand in hers, stifled a giggle and piled on the teasing as her new protégé delivered a wonderful opening salvo. Shinji and Toji merely waited for Kensuke to try and wriggle his way out the trap. They had tried to pry details out of Kensuke during lunch but hadn't been able to acquire much more than that Yuki was a year younger and was from Kobe, originally. But, both boys knew that if Rei was the opening gambit, Hikari and Asuka wouldn't be far behind and Kensuke would ultimately crack.

"uh . . . um . . . Yuki-san?" stammered Kensuke.

"Yes. Yu.Ki.San." replied Asuka.

"Yeah, Kensuke. Yuki Takeda. I spoke to her class representative today. She's a year younger and in room 1-B," announced Hikari who, with that single statement, notified Kensuke that the girls had a better intelligence network than the military could ever dream of developing.

"Oh . . . yeah . . . Yuki-san."

"She seemed pretty nice when we talked to her at PE," mused Asuka.

"You spoke to her?" stammered Kensuke now realizing the extreme disadvantage he was at.

"Yes. She is a trifle shy, but she did have three older girls talking to her. She was very honest that she found you intriguing," announced Rei. Shinji and Toji tried very hard to be inconspicuous and out of the line of questioning as they were more than a little surprised at Rei calling someone 'shy'.

"Well, no, I didn't get a chance to go down to the first floor before club," admitted Kensuke trying to bring some closure to the line of questioning.

"So, why aren't you walking her home? Did your Stooge education neglect being a gentleman?" poked Asuka.

"Well, her mom doesn't like the military," mumbled Kensuke.

"So, you've already met her parents? How forward of you!" exclaimed Hikari.

"N-no you don't understand! I haven't met them yet."

"Yet? You mean you're serious enough after one dance that you're planning on meeting her parents?" exclaimed Rei.

"Yes . . . uh . . . no . . . I don't know," mumbled Kensuke.

Deciding that his friend needed rescuing, Shinji took pity on the young otaku and said, "Kensuke, isn't this your street?"

With a quick nod, Kensuke hurried down the street towards his home, much to the disappointment of the girls.

Dinner Time - Katsuragi Apartment Building Roof

Asuka was seated between Shinji's knees as they both gazed out over the city. She was enjoying the warmth of the arms wrapped around her and the fact that they finally had gotten some alone time. It was really nice of Rei to volunteer to cook dinner when she noticed that the couple really had needed to spend some quality time together after their argument about Shinji having let Kensuke off the teasing hook. It wasn't a serious argument, but it showed that the two teens needed to spend some time away from everyone and strengthen the bond between them.

Asuka's hands idly stroked Shinji's forearms and were rewarded with his nose nuzzling her hair and making its way to her ear where his lips nibbled her earlobe. She was enjoying the new feelings of having someone who loved her unconditionally. She was a little amazed at his persistence and commitment – no one had been able to withstand her efforts at pushing them away before. It was such a nice feeling to feel – together.

They were both struggling a bit with the return to normalcy, however. In the non-time on the beach, it was private. They could work through things at their own pace and in their own way. Now, they were a very public couple and were being pushed by their friends, family, and co-workers. Asuka had come to rely on Shinji for emotional support and to trust that he'd be there. Her heart knew he'd be there and that there wouldn't be a wavering in his commitment, but she also knew that they didn't get to control everything as the recent changes in their lives and schedules reminded them.

Shinji for his part sat trying to remain tranquil and control the anxiety that had always been his downfall. He clung to Asuka the way a drowning man clings to a life preserver – a simple, relatively stable point of reference in a chaotic sea. He was also trying to learn how to enjoy life and the quiet, pleasant moments like this. He felt her hands leave his arms to run her fingers through his hair as he nibbled her ear.

"Shinji?"

"Hmm?"

"Twice now, you've made some cryptic remarks to Toji. What are they about?"

Shinji sighed. He knew he'd been living on borrowed time on this subject and that payment was now do.

"I asked both he and Kensuke to stop calling you names," replied Shinji.

Asuka was a bit stunned – on many levels. Shinji hadn't tried dancing around and avoiding the question which she now knew was a really hard response for him and that he'd stepped in to protect her. However, in her confusion, her old ego took control of her mouth before she could reign it back in.

"What? Do you think I can't fight my own battles? I'm not some damsel in distress, Third Child," came out with enough venom to make even Asuka wince inside.

Oddly, Shinji remained nonplussed. He had expected this reaction. He was a keen observer of Asuka's behavior – partially out of self-preservation – and this was not out of character. "No. I know you can fight your own battles. This is about my friends and them respecting me. If they were my friends, they'd respect my choices and be happy for me, not try and sabotage it by making me choose between my love and my friends. I'm trying to make them see that they'll lose that choice before they force me to make it for real."

Completely caught off-guard by this turn of events and the implied, mild rebuke of being very ego centric, Asuka sat quietly for a moment while continuing to play with Shinji's hair thinking about the deeper meanings of what he had just said. Instead of responding, she turned and wrapped her arms around Shinji's neck and pulled him into a fierce kiss which he enthusiastically responded to after a moment's surprise.

Breathless, Asuka pulled back slightly, "Shinji-kun, where did you learn to say such romantic things?"

Shinji gave her a wry little smile, "I've been practically drowning in estrogen since I got to Tokyo-3. I'd have to be deaf, dumb, and blind to not pick up something after all."

"Drowning in estrogen? You're a meanie, Baka-kun. You need to be punished for being so mean," joked Asuka as she began to tickle Shinji mercilessly.

Shinji began to squirm trying to get away when Asuka pounced on him continuing her onslaught. This continued for almost a full minute before Shinji changed tactics away from trying to get away to pulling Asuka too close to tickle and kissing her soundly.

Just as they were both warming to the next round of kissing, they heard Rei's voice from the stairwell, "Shinji. Asuka. Dinner's ready."

Author's Parting Shots: Yes, I did short change you on The Talk. I wrote a couple of versions and they all were just tedious conversations that weren't very entertaining, so you can just fill in the details on your own :P