Since RL has been a bitch I can only offer you a short chapter. There is more to come. I thought I'd make things a little worse for Jack (and Sam) before I consider making them better *evil me*.
Thank you for following and for your kind words.
The first night Jack was allowed to spend out of the infirmary didn't feel like he had expected. He was restless suddenly being alone, and he was upset about Sam violating his privacy. And incredibly embarrassed because she knew. He would have to talk to her in the morning. He tried to make himself comfortable and to calm his nerves so he could get some sleep. A good night's sleep in the privacy of his quarters rather than the infirmary, where he always felt exposed, was supposed to be a good thing, for crying out loud. Better still, he should be on his couch, having a beer or two and watching Homer make a fool of himself. Home, sweet home, he thought, and it was very appealing. But he knew the drill: he would have to play nice with the doc in order to get what he wanted. It took him almost an hour to wind down and fall asleep.
He jerked awake covered in sweat, scared to the bone and deeply irritated. Great. Nightmares. He should have expected that. He tried to remember what it was that he had seen, but couldn't. All he remembered was a feeling: despair. The deepest, darkest, most hopeless despair he had ever felt, and it still held him in its claws, was still wrapped around him, even now that he was awake. He wasn't completely sure if the moisture on his face really wasn't anything else but sweat. His heart was racing and he stared into the darkness fighting to get a grip on himself. Suddenly he couldn't stand the utter darkness of his room, so he switched on the lamp on his nightstand. Better.
When he woke up the next morning he didn't feel rested at all. Surely he had been sleeping, but it had been a restless, troubled sleep and he vaguely remembered the nightmare he had had. He quickly made the decision not to tell the doc about it. He was due to check in with her first thing in the morning. On his way to the infirmary he ran into Sam. She hesitated, remembering their last encounter, but then she pulled herself together.
"Good morning, sir."
"Morning, major."
She checked his face for any sign of his mood, but he was a difficult man to read. And she felt awkward around him these days. She wasn't sure how to approach him after the way she had run from his quarters – or after the way he had talked to her before she had run. No way would she confront him about it in a hallway, but surely they had to sort that out sooner rather than later. Apparently he was uncomfortable, too. He told her he had to get to the doc and walked on.
"Sir – please wait up."
He stopped but didn't turn at once. When he finally did she noticed the tightness around his eyes and the tension in his shoulders. She had seen him like that before.
"Bad night?"
"Yeah."
He nodded, avoiding her eyes.
"Is there anything I can -"
"Hell, Carter, how many times do I have to tell you this. You can't help me here. Just leave it, OK?"
Turning back to head to the infirmary he simply left her standing with her mouth not literally, but figuratively open and her heart sinking.
~o0o~
TBC