"We're The Band"

Chapter 16: Lights on the Ball and Chain

Sunday – Office Shared By Ikari, Soryu, and Ayanami
Like many organizations, NERV ran on paperwork. Like many military organizations, nothing was considered 'done' inside of NERV until enough paper had been sacrificed on the alter of documentation to demonstrate the effectiveness of the people. Like many research organizations, NERV circulated paperwork like people circulated blood. Given their new military status, Shinji, Asuka, and Rei were not exempt from the need to file reports, review reports, and other such administrative tasks. They were currently in their cramped little office where their desks faced the wall were within arm's reach of each other. Misato had declared that they had to give up this Sunday to do their monthly paper penance. The difference was that Shinji had snuck in some speakers and having kicked the door closed, his computer was rocking forth Social Distortion's "Ball and Chain" as a statement on their situation.

Well it's been ten years, and a thousand tears
And look at the mess I'm in-
A broken nose and a broken heart,
An empty bottle of gin

Well I sit and I pray
In my broken down Chevrolet-
While I'm singin' to myself
There's got to be another way

Rei and Asuka had laughed as the tune burst out of the speakers. The last time they had listened to this together, they had all been working on another of those dreary Second Impact history reports. Rei's head began bobbing up and down in time to the music as she filled out a "Precision Ammunition Expenditure Report" for the previous day. Asuka was practically dancing in her chair as she filled out her "Element Leader Report on Mission". Shinji merely smiled at his office mates as he slogged away at the monthly research report for Maya – it being his turn on the rotation. As the chorus came up, all work stopped, and as was their tradition, the three teens stood up and sang the chorus at the top of their lungs in their small office.

Take away, take away
Take away this ball and chain
I'm lonely and I'm tired
And I can't take any more pain

Take away, take away
Never to return again
Take away, take away
Take away this ball and chain

They sat back down and started their race – which could finish their report by the end of the song with the rule that they all had to stand and sing during the chorus. It was going to be close. Rei had the shortest report but it required the most references. Asuka was trying to paraphrase much of what she said in the Commander's After Action from the previous day. Shinji had gotten a head start from Maya who had sent him some key things that she had wanted in the report.

Well I've searched and I've searched
To find the perfect life-
A brand new car and a brand new suit
I even got me a little wife-

But wherever I have gone
I was sure to find myself there-
You can run all your life
But not go anywhere

As they stood to sing the next chorus, Rei got a wadded up piece of paper to the head from Asuka on being a little late to stand up. Rei's tactical response was to stick her tongue out at her brother's girlfriend mimicking the style little sisters have used since dating began that communicated the most intense, sophomoric intentions with a sublime undertone of "I don't know what my brother sees in you." This was, of course, greeted by laughter and the appropriate hand gesture not found in official infantry manuals.

Take away, take away
Take away this ball and chain
I'm lonely and I'm tired
And I can't take any more pain

Take away, take away
Never to return again
Take away, take away
Take away this ball and chain

They made the mad dash back to their keyboards as the last notes of the chorus faded away. It was going to be close. Shinji was the most precise in his typing – nearly error free – but was correspondingly slow. Asuka was at the other end of the spectrum – a blazingly fast typist, but that advantage was lost in the constant corrections she had to perform. Rei landed somewhere near the middle. In a break with tradition, Asuka began singing the next stanza to try and distract Rei and Shinji.

Well I'll pass the bar on the way
To my dingy hotel room-
I spent all my money
Been drinkin' since a half past noon-
I'll wake there in the mornin'
Or maybe in the county jail-
Times are hard getting harder

It was a photo finish, Shinji edged out Rei and Asuka had gotten too caught up in singing to keep up. As they all hit "send" on their reports, Shinji cranked up the volume to nearly deafening levels in the confined space as they pushed their chairs in and began dancing in the limited space of their office and practically screaming the final chorus.

Take away, take away
Take away this ball and chain
I'm lonely and I'm tired
And I can't take any more pain

Take away, take away
Never to return again
Take away, take away
Take away this ball and chain

As the song ended, Rei collapsed back into her chair laughing hysterically with the relief of being done and the almost surreal scene of the three teens singing such a rebellious song in the heart of the NERV complex. Shinji had grabbed Asuka around the waist as they had been dancing and now lifted her an inch or two off the floor to swing her around and give her a big kiss. Of course, she responded by tightening her grip on the back of his head. This tableau was broken by the applause from Misato who had come down the hall to see what all the commotion was about, among other things.

Shinji sheepishly released Asuka who pretended not to notice Misato and merely straightened out her uniform. Rei was trying in vain to hold her sides which were hurting from the laughter and wipe away the tears from the laughter at the same time. Misato looked at her charges shaking her head – glad that they were starting to act like normal teens, but sad that it was always so fleeting.

"So, I take it the paperwork is done?" began Misato.

General affirmatives from the three teens rattled in.

"Can we go now?" asked Asuka. She had gotten a series of voice mails and text messages from Hikari. They had all been relatively cryptic but did indicate some urgency. Asuka was worried about her friend since the only reason Hikari would be cryptic would be if she was worried Shinji might see or hear the message. And, the only reason Hikari would be worried about Shinji was if the subject of the presumed distress was Toji.

Misato raised an eyebrow at Asuka but chose to venture on, "Actually, that's what I came down here to talk to you about. We have a short meeting to talk about the intelligence finds from yesterday. I think you can go home after that, but it'll depend on what Makoto brings up. It starts in fifteen minutes in the main conference room."

As Misato buzzed out with a short wave to accomplish her own tasks prior to the meeting, the three teens looked at each other and thought 'Makoto?'

NERV Main Conference Room
The three teens took seats around the conference table. In addition to Misato, Maya, Shigeru, and Makoto were also present along with someone who was introduced as the lead interrogator who worked for Makoto. He seemed like a pleasant man totally at odds with the interrogator stereotype. With the door closed and the room secure, Makoto stood and took his place at the front of the room as the lights dimmed and scans of various documents started to appear on the screens.

"Afternoon, everyone. I'll just jump right in. We discovered a great deal of information at the site raided yesterday. In fact, this information confirms much of the intelligence we've been receiving over the last couple of weeks and the ongoing interrogations also point this way. This group and others affiliated with it have learned the identities of Rei, Shinji, and Asuka as the EVA pilots and they have a rudimentary understanding of the goals of third impact from the SEELE point of view – the evolution of mankind."

Having dropped this bomb shell, Makoto waited to allow the storm of verbal abuse crash on him like a wave and then recede so he could continue. Oddly enough, it didn't appear. The three teens in question took it all in with a certain, stoic resolve. A bit unnerved by this Makoto was momentarily at a loss providing Shinji the opportunity to ask his question.

"Before we talk about the ramifications, how did they obtain this information?"

Makoto cleared his throat. He had anticipated this question and had been hounding his people about it for the last couple of hours. "It appears that the SEELE files were not as secure as they had hoped or that we conjectured. We know of at least one hacker that has been into those files before they were isolated. If your question is more along the lines of 'how do we know our other pieces of information are safe?' my answer is that we don't. We do have better electronic security here compared to the other regional centers thanks to Dr. Akagi and Maya, but nothing is ever perfect."

Shinji merely leaned back in his chair and crossed his arms, contemplating the answer as Makoto moved on to continue his explanation. Shinji, Asuka, and Rei all knew that their identities were an open secret within Tokyo-3. Even their friends knew their roles. But, the popular media had largely left them alone. There were definitely going to be changes coming in the future.

"Now, signal intelligence on this group had mentioned Emperor, Shogun, and Kami extensively. We had originally assumed that they were referring to members of their group in code. Our recent discovery is that they were really referring to Shinji, Asuka, and Rei, respectively."

Bedlam ensued. Confused shouting dominated the table. Misato was only able to restore order after Shinji had been able to calm both Rei and Asuka. Makoto moved out from behind the lectern that he had taken refuge behind.

"It seems that they view Shinji as Emperor based on his role in Third Impact. More specifically, he is considered the heir to the title "Son of Heaven" and they aim to force him to ascend the throne of Japan and lead Japan to world prominence and defend the realm against the UN. They are apparently aware of the relationship between Asuka and Shinji, but they view Asuka as the warrior arm of the Empire after her battle with the MP EVAs. Rei's position as the spiritual force of the trio is based on her role as the primary conduit for Lilith during Third Impact. As you can tell, what we originally thought of as purely a radical political movement is actually more of a religious movement with political ambitions."

"This just keeps getting better and better," muttered Asuka. "So, drop the other shoe Makoto. There's something else isn't there?" she continued in a normal voice.

Taking a deep breath, Makoto continued, "In fact, there seems to be a loose network of these organizations. It appears that most of the nationalist movements are actually centered on this central theme. Your identities have been circulated in the last 48 hours on various web sites, and you are now at a significantly higher kidnapping risk than you were before. They want to use you three as symbols and rallying points to achieve domination."

"So, what's the plan? You wouldn't have just dragged us in here without a plan," fumed Asuka.

"Our initial thoughts are that these people are easily manipulated through the three of you, but that will be tricky, especially, if we use the popular media. We wouldn't want to create a negative backlash that would cause them to think that they needed to eliminate you. So, we're going to investigate that using some of the prisoners we have already captured. Also, we can increase the security detail around you to continue to protect you, but the onus will be on the three of you to make sure that we know your itineraries. We'll also have to expand the protective surveillance to your friends. They are aware of Toji, Kensuke, and Hikari and may try to manipulate or coerce the three of you through them."

Clearing his throat, Makoto continued with the hard part, "But, right now, we need Shinji to help us."

Shinji snapped out of his internal thoughts to look questioningly at Makoto. Asuka and Rei, startled at the need for Shinji to do anything, merely stared daggers at Makoto. They shared the same thought – weren't they the victims in this drama and hadn't they already done enough?

"Shinji, this is Mr. Nobu. He's our lead interrogator. He'll explain what he wants to try."

"Thank you, Captain. Shinji, we have one of the command staff of this group in custody and have been trying to interrogate him. To be honest, he's proven very resistant to our techniques, and our experience is that interrogation under drugs has proven unreliable. We'd like to have you present as we to interrogate him based on your standing in their thought structure. We need to understand their organization and how deep this goes."

"What would be involved?"

"Primarily, a lot of listening and maybe asking some guiding questions. It really depends on how this gambit works."

Shinji sat in thought, aware of the stares he was receiving in addition to the worried looks from Asuka, Rei, and Misato. His mind eventually turned on a central truth to this situation – his loved ones still depended on him for safety just as he depended on them. This crystalline fact meant that he had to at least try.

"Ok."

"Shinji, are you sure?" prompted Asuka having taken hold of his hand.

"Can you guys give us some privacy?" announced Shinji, looking around the room.

As everyone filed out since the meeting was essentially over, Makoto and Mr. Nobu indicated that Shinji should come down to interrogation when he was ready.

Alone now, Shinji pulled Asuka close.

"Asuka-chan, I'm sure."

"How can you be so sure about this?"

"Because, it's really very simple. I want to do what I can to make sure we're all safe."

Asuka looked at the young man in front of her and noticed how he had begun to grow strong. But realizing that there were dangers in his new strength of character, Asuka raised a hand to caress Shinji's cheek. "Baka-kun, just remember that you don't have to do this by yourself. This is not your burden alone. We're all in this."

"I know. That's all that keeps me from running away. You're all here with me, and I don't have to face this alone."

"Shinji," commanded Asuka as she locked his eyes with hers. "Do not let them make you into something else. You're MY baka, and I don't share."

"Yes, dear," replied a sheepish Shinji.

"Shinji, I'm serious," replied Asuka without releasing his eyes. "I don't like this, and I want you to be cautious. I love the Shinji that I have. I want to grow with this Shinji. I don't want to have you come back as something wildly different or broken after they throw you away because they're done with you. I'm sorry to say it this way, but don't let them manipulate you the way we were manipulated in the past by your father and SEELE."

Surprisingly, Shinji only had a small flinch at the mention of his father. Something in him could sense the rightness of Asuka's words. He also heard her underlying distrust of the people in charge. "I'll always be your Shinji. I promise I'll be careful. I don't trust them to have my best interests at heart, either. Only you, Rei, and Misato really do."

Pulling him into a tight hug and trembling with the effort of having to voice her fears – an experience that was slowly getting easier with Shinji – Asuka said almost to herself, "Will we ever be able to have something approaching a normal life?"

Burying his face in Asuka's hair, he reveled in the most important thing in his life. "We just have to seize our chances. I don't think our lives will ever really be normal. Besides, wouldn't you be bored being normal?"

"Yeah," Asuka agreed with a sigh. "But, sometimes I just want the roller coaster to pull into the station for a little while so I can catch my breath."

The two of them sat there a few minutes longer trying to build a quiet place in the chaos and prepare themselves for the challenges to come. It was Asuka who spoke first.

"We should probably get going. The perverts will probably be jumping to conclusions if we stay in here much longer." She stood pulling Shinji up with her. Asuka gave him a sound kiss before straightening his uniform blouse. "Let's go."

Grabbing his hand, she led him out into the hallway where Rei and Misato were waiting.

"Ok?" queried Rei looking at Asuka while Misato watched Shinji.

"Ok," responded Asuka with a quick nod from Shinji.

"We're all going down to interrogation with you," declared Misato in her 'don't argue with me voice'.

Later – Interrogation
Shinji was busy doing what Mr. Nobu had suggested – building his mental armor for the upcoming interrogation. Unknown to Mr. Nobu, Shinji actually was doing it in a rather unique way. He was drawing on his martial arts training and focusing on centering himself. He was creating at his center the agreed upon role he was to play. Part of assuming a role was bearing, and he was methodically straightening his uniform and his posture to complete the image of Emperor.

As his teacher had told him, "I have no strategy. I allow the quick mind to be my strategy."

Looking at Rei, Misato, and Asuka in turn, he nodded his readiness. The three women adjourned to the observation room while Shinji took a deep breath before going to meet Mr. Nobu in the hallway outside the interrogation room.

Asuka watched the terrorist in his little room as Shinji prepared to make his entrance as the Son of Heaven, and Santana's "Put Your Lights On" seemed to invade her consciousness. She could even picture Shinji playing and singing. The dark mood and melancholy of the song fit her present state perfectly. In fact, the implied messages of the song matched her fears and hopes, as well.

Hey now, all you sinners
Put your lights on,
put your lights on
Hey now, all you lovers
Put your lights on,
put your lights on

The door to the interrogation room and Nobu and Shinji made their entrance with Shinji exuding Imperial presence that could be felt even behind the one way mirror. A little part of Asuka smirked that he appeared to be 'working the stage' the way she had taught him. She also noted how the terrorist was startled at Shinji's arrival and looked distraught that he could not bow properly while handcuffed to the steel chair he was seated in. It seemed that the plan was working.

Hey now, all you killers
Put your lights on,
put your lights on
Hey now, all you children
Leave your lights on you better
leave your lights on

Off to the side in the observation room, a technician monitored the subject via the sophisticated sensors embedded in the chair and around the room. He quietly communicated the information into a small ear piece worn by Nobu. Shinji had flatly refused it at first not wanting to be inundated with some technician's babble about pulse rates and galvanic skin response, but had acquiesced when it was agreed that Asuka would be the only one allowed to communicate with him.

The interrogation was at the trust building stage. Nobu quietly tried to converse with the terrorist, but Shinji maintained the Imperial bearing and provided interest but distance in his cool observation of the man – a man who had yet to admit his name.

Shinji, having been a reserved boy, was actually a fairly keen observer of people, and this man in front of him was involuntarily allowing Shinji to build a mental model. In fact, Shinji was starting to realize that this man was more of a mercenary and stone cold killer than someone motivated by religious or political means. It was in how his apparent reverence for Shinji as an Imperial presence would sometimes slip.

Because there's a monster living
under my bed
Whispering in my ear
There's an angel with a hand on
my head
She says I've got
nothing to fear

During the first part of the interrogation, Shinji and Nobu were at least able to learn the man's name – Hayashi – and roughly his position in the organization – in charge of military operations. Beyond those facts, Hayashi was coy and obviously enjoying the game of verbal jousting. Shinji maintained his cool demeanor only through the calming voice in his ear. He was careful not to let on that the ear piece was present or to glance at the mirror. He focused on observation and maintaining the 'presence' required.

There's a darkness deep
in my soul
I still got a purpose to serve
So let your light shine,
into my home
God don't let me lose my
nerve
Lose my nerve

They had reached an impasse. Nobu had been at this for fifteen minutes and was only able to get basics. Shinji could now plainly see the error of their ways – they were using the wrong lever. Nobu had paused and was regrouping providing Shinji with the necessary opening.

"Hayashi-san, you are ronin," stated Shinji his voice flat and his eyes as cold as an arctic wind.

Nobu would have been murder in a poker game - not letting on his surprise at Shinji's deviation from the plan. In his ear, he heard the excited voice of the technician reporting wild fluctuations in Hayashi's response patterns. For their part, Misato, Rei, and Asuka were not startled at Shinji's interruption but at the ability for Shinji to so completely imitate his father. Asuka whispered urgently to Shinji and received the pre-arranged hand signal that he was under control.

Hey now, hey now,
hey now, hey now
Wo-oh hey now, hey now,
hey now, hey now
Hey now all you sinners

Put your lights on,
put your lights on
Hey now, all you children
Leave your lights on you
better leave your lights on

Shinji dismissed Hayashi's babbled responses with a curt wave of his hand silencing the man's feeble attempts at recovering the initiative and maintaining his previous façade.

"It is clear to me that you are not motivated by ideals but by economics," came Shinji's quiet voice. "Therefore, we should discuss the economic terms of your cooperation."

"What makes you think I can be bought? That, I would abandon our cause so easily?" spat Hayashi.

Shinji merely stared at Hayashi who began to wilt under the mental assault. "You have already been bought once. Your behavior in this room is evidence enough of that."

Hayashi continued to squirm under Shinji's unrelenting gaze. From behind the mirror, Asuka had begun to worry about Shinji channeling his father. Keying her contact with Shinji, "Shinji, I think that's enough. You need to let him stew. I'll meet you in the hallway."

Abruptly, Shinji stood and Nobu hurriedly followed suit. As he made his way to the door, Shinji left Hayashi with a final thought, "Did it ever occur to you that they may have been right about me?"

Because there's a monster living under my bed
Whispering in my ear
There's an angel, with a hand on my head
She say's I've got nothing to fear

La illaha illa Allah
We all shine like stars
La illaha illa Allah
We all shine like stars
Then we fade away

Closing the door to the interrogation room, Nobu quickly headed down the hall to confer with Makoto and the technician about the results. Shinji merely leaned against the wall and took a deep, cleansing breath, eyes closed as he tried to regain himself. Feeling Asuka's presence and then her hands cupping his face, he opened his eyes to be greeted with her worried face as her eyes searched his for signs of his father.

"Shinji? Are you ok?"

Sliding his hands around her waist, he gave a quiet nod vaguely aware of Rei and Misato watching with concern. "I'm ok, now," he replied as he felt the warmth of her presence wash over him.

Asuka's hands slid around his neck as she pulled him into a tight hug. "You scare me when you act like your father. It's eerie," Asuka whispered into his ear.

Nuzzling her ear and breathing in the fresh scent of her shampoo, Shinji's eyes closed as he whispered back, "It scares me too, now. But, I know that I will always be me if you're here - that I'll never become a monster like him."

Straightening up, Shinji looked over at Misato and Rei. "Misato, can we go home now? I don't think I ever want to do that again."

"I agree with you. I don't think it's right for you to be involved in this part of the operation," replied a stern-faced Misato whose resolve received new found strength. "Let's go before they find something else for us to be involved in.

Ride Home
Misato was taking a much more sedate trip home as she reflected on the events of the last two days. Her young charges – Shinji in the front seat having called "shotgun" much to the consternation of the girls now in the backseat – were certainly proving resilient, but Misato worried about how long they could keep it up. She would have to find ways to provide them more normalcy and, hopefully, a vacation for the small family.

Shinji had fallen asleep in the front seat from the stress of the day, and Rei was looking out the window as if she were five and easily distracted by all of the colors, images, and people. Asuka finally was able to call Hikari only to exclaim after a long explanation from the girl on the other end of the phone, "You have got to be kidding me. He didn't? Stupid stooge . . . all right . . . let me ask Misato. Misato, can I stay over at Hikari's tonight?"

Misato looked up at Asuka via the rear view mirror. Given what she had heard of the phone call, something must be brewing. "Sure, but go over after dinner. We need a little family time."

"Ok . . . did you hear that Hikari? Right, see you then."

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Author's Parting Shots: Hehe, nothing is ever simple. Like they say, "into every life a little rain must fall"