Jack O'Neill looked defeated. Dr. Shen was worried. She had expected setbacks, they were common, but this looked bad. She knew depression when she saw it. She might have to put him on medication.

"Jack? Can you tell me what happened since your phone call?"

He could barely muster enough energy to answer.

"New dreams, doc. Very bad dreams. I know what triggered them and I talked to Carter, told her exactly what happened in 'Egypt'. I still don't want her to know these things but I just...couldn't...go on anymore. I'm done. Nothing left in me."

"Jack, did you ever experience an episode of depression before?"

His smile was so weak it spoke volumes.

"Yes, I have. Don't make me talk about it, please."

"Were you treated back then?"

He shook his head.

"You got better by yourself?"

"Yeah."

"OK, Jack, there's something else I need to know – after Iraq, you said it was your wife who helped you, Sara, right?"

He nodded.

"Not talking about that either, doc."

"That's OK, you don't have to. Just imagine for a moment that someone else might be doing that for you this time. Can you do that?"

"No way am I imposing this mess on Carter, doc."

"How about you let her make that decision?"

"There's nothing to decide since I'm still her CO."

"Well then maybe you should consider changing that, colonel."

~o0o~

Jack was back at the base about an hour after talking to Dr. Shen. He was seated in the general's office, trying to make up his mind. When his CO opened the door he stood to attention.

"At ease, colonel. Have a seat."

"I'd rather stand, sir", he said, standing at parade rest.

Hammond sat down and looked at his 2IC. The man was like a son to him, and he knew him well. He didn't like what he saw now. Below the military discipline that was so untypical of O'Neill there was something destructive. As if the man's energy was drained.

"Jack, please. Sit down and talk to me."

"Is that an order, sir?"

"Oh for heaven's sake, Jack, will you get yourself in that chair?"

He did, but sat on the edge, his shoulders stiff and his face blank.

"What's up, son?"

"I'll resign, sir. I didn't have time to do the paperwork yet but I will get it to you first thing in the morning."

"Why? I thought you were doing better?"

"I just had enough, sir."

"Well, nobody can blame you, you sure gave your country and your planet far more than anyone could ask. But are you sure that's what you want?"

Jack didn't speak for a while. Then he raised his head and looked at the general.

"No, sir, to be completely honest with you I'm not sure what I want. All I know is I need a change. At least I need to resign from the field, sir."

"OK, I guess that's fair enough. You've been out there for so long. Is there any assignment you want?"

Jack smiled a little, remembering that Dr. Shen had asked him the same thing. Obviously everybody seemed to think that he had a choice. He noticed he had kept his CO waiting when Hammond gave him a look.

"Sorry, sir. In fact there might be..."

~o0o~

By nightfall Sam arrived at Jack's house once more. He opened the door and let her in. She thought he didn't look as depressed as he had the night before, but you could never be sure with Jack O'Neill. He was so used to hiding his emotions that he had become very good at it. So after they had sat down she looked closely at him. He pretended not to notice, but she didn't buy it.

"Jack, about last night - "

He closed his eyes and exhaled.

"Don't, Carter. Don't say it. I know it only happened because I was so spent. You felt sorry for me, and I'm grateful for the comfort you gave me."

"That's not - "

"I've never been good enough for you even when I was – whole, but now I'm a wreck, Carter. You're brilliant, you're young, you're beautiful. Don't burden yourself with me."

She turned to face him fully.

"Would you please stop doing that?"

"Stop doing what?"

"Insulting the man I love!"

~o0o~

Huh! There it is - she said it!