A/N: Hi Again! Once more a big thank you to anyone out there who took the time to leave a review! We appreciate that very much! Special thanks go out to our serial reviewers, we're happy about your interest and your questions. Of course we appreciate the favoriting and following, too ;D
Here's the fifth chapter already and we're still at the amusement park. The four of them reach the amusement park's romantic cliché the Ferris wheel. This chapter things happen for both pairings, so whether you like Gon/Killua or Leorio/Kurapika more, there is something for everyone ;D
Please remember, we'd love to hear your thoughts, so we'd be happy if you took the time to review. Thanks!
Chapter 5
As the four of them made their way to the Ferris Wheel and finished off their drinks, Leorio marveled about the new revelations he had just had about the relationship between Killua and Gon. Even though he thought it strange himself, he actually didn't care that one of his friends was gay for the other. He, Kurapika, and Gon were talking back and forth during the whole trip, and Leorio had even affectionately rubbed Gon's hair for doing something as great as ruining that cheating vendor's business, if only for a little bit. It was strange how Killua wasn't talking at all, and when the young doctor sneaked a glance over to his far right, he noticed how depressed the other teen actually looked. Well, that wasn't good. What was up with the drastic change in mood?
When they finally arrived at their destination and got in line, it didn't take too long for their turn to come up next. Leorio expected the four of them to ride in a booth together, but he was caught by surprise when Killua declared that he wanted to talk with Gon about something private. That meant that his two youngest friends would ride in a booth together, while he was stuck with Kurapika in one. At first, Leorio felt that same awkwardness from before overtake him as he thought about being alone with his Kurta friend, but with the way Killua had been acting earlier, and the way he wanted to talk to Gon in private, it was possible that Killua was trying to confess to Gon if the young doctor's earlier assumptions had been correct.
"Sure, that's absolutely fine!" Leorio reassured the former assassin as he looked at Kurapika for if he was okay with the turn of events. "Kurapika and I can just follow you in the next booth, right?"
Kurapika agreed just as easily to the change in plans like Leorio had, so with a pleased smile from Killua, they watched their two younger friends get into one of the booths and start their ride.
"I hope those two will be okay," Leorio commented then. "Gon can be extremely dense sometimes, you know?"
Killua was quick to decide which plushy he wanted, and it ended up being one of the foxbears. Gon had to agree this one had the cutest face out of all of them. His friend held the toy happily to his chest, kind of like Kurapika had done, and thanked him.
"You're welcome," Gon shrugged with a smile.
It hadn't been much work or anything. He even had gotten his throws at a discount, so there really was nothing to thank him for.
They were asked to leave by the vendor again, and, since they were done here anyway, they went their way. This was when Leorio closed in on him and ruffled his hair. Gon whined softly and moved his head away, but couldn't escape since the taller man held onto his shoulder until he was done.
"Doooooon't!" Both of the beast hunter's hands went up to smooth over the ruffled parts of his hair, which, in the end, was absolutely superfluous since the hair withstood any attempts to tame it and always looked like its wild, gravity-defying self. "I tried to use as little Nen as possible! Really!" The teen tried to defend himself. He really hadn't wanted to damage the booth. All he had wanted to do was to win the plushy Killua had wanted. Gon always tried to do anything for his friend.
Kurapika asked him then if he'd be willing to tuck his rabbitsquirrel plushy securely into his backpack. Since the beast hunter still had some room in there, he easily agreed. It wouldn't do if Kurapika's precious gift got dirty, or worse, lost. He put it away as they strolled on.
When they finally reached the Ferris Wheel, they had to wait their turn once again, but they were lucky because the queue wasn't long. Shortly before they were to enter, Killua suddenly declared he needed to talk to him in private. Gon's eyes went wide. He had no idea what this was all about. Had he done something wrong? When he looked questioningly at Killua, though, the other one was smirking like everything was peachy. The spiky-haired teen had the distinct feeling he had forgotten about something, but that wasn't unusual. He just went along with Killua into their own booth then.
Once the door closed, Gon sat down opposite of Killua for balance's sake, and looked at him questioningly.
"Why didn't you want us to ride with Kurapika and Leorio?" He was sure it would have been fun to look out together and point at the attractions. Their hotel was really, really tall, too. Maybe they could even see it from the top?
While they were waiting for their turn on the Ferris Wheel, Kurapika had a lot of things on his mind. Although he was incredibly happy about finding a second Ran-Ran, and even more about getting it as a gift from Leorio, the heart pillow with the message of love was just extremely embarrassing, nonetheless. He was sure the doctor had had no idea that the pillow was there, still it was causing a lot of awkwardness between them.
Kurapika had all intentions of cherishing the plushy toy, but the thought of running around the park with the plushy in his arm (especially with its message of love and only in the company of males!) was just too much. Thinking on his feet, he had asked Gon whether he might take it into his backpack. The Kurta explained that he didn't want his precious toy to get dirty because he didn't want to accidentally hurt Leorio's feelings and make him think he didn't like it anymore.
The other thing on his mind was the new revelation he had on Killua. He had always known that him and Gon had a very special and deep relationship, but there was more to it, and he had just realized this the throwing stand. The surprising thing about it was that Leorio had realized it, too. Usually, his taller friend was pretty oblivious to his surroundings. So, were the signs so obvious that even he could pick up on them? Maybe there had been more hints when the three of them had talked and met? Kurapika had the distinct feeling that Killua would have a hard time with Gon as his intended lover. Actually, the Kurta didn't fear the young beast hunter might be homophobic, or even only into women. Much more, he believed Gon just might not understand what Killua wanted. He fully believed it had to be spelled out pretty damn clear to Gon or otherwise he wouldn't get it, and, somehow, he didn't think Killua was up to the task. His fellow blacklist hunter could be blunt and sarcastic but never when his feelings were concerned. The other tended to hide them which had to be a deeply ingrained survival instinct thanks to his dear Zoldyck family.
The Kurta was shaken from his thoughts then when Killua told them he wanted to be alone with Gon. This surprised him, but in a sweet kind of way. If those two really got together, he would be happy for them. His friends should find happiness at least. Kurapika couldn't help but cast a glance at Leorio then, who agreed happily to the request in that moment.
"Ehm, yes, of course we can," he answered a little slower and less enthusiastic than the doctor did. Although it would be best for the boys to be alone so that Killua might get his feelings across, Kurapika wasn't too sure he wanted to be alone with Leorio. There was still some awkwardness between them, after all, but since he couldn't very well say that out loud, he tried to make the best of it now. "We'll meet up at the other side. Have fun."
Gon and Killua entered their booth then, and the two of them had to wait for their turn. Kurapika's eyes lingered a moment longer on the boys after Leorio's words. He had to hold in a grin to his friend's last comment. It was funny how Leorio didn't see the parallels between him and Gon most of the time. It was funny, and, in a way, it was sad, too. But even if the doctor would see, would understand, what difference would it make? He was a lady killer. Most likely it would only make their precarious friendship finally fall apart, once Leorio realized his obviously unrequited romantic feelings. That was something Kurapika definitely didn't want.
"Yes, I know. That's why the path Killua has chosen won't be easy."
They were up then, so they stopped their conversation for the moment. After they entered their own booth, they sat down opposite of each other. Since the ride would last a while at the speed the huge wheel was going, Kurapika cast around his head for a topic of conversation that seemed safe between them.
"So, you breezed through med school in record time. Congratulations! I guess you had to study during most of your semester breaks, but I think Gon mentioned you guys met up a few times. Did you go on a vacation like this? Or did they visit you?"
Leorio stared up at the booth that contained his two youngest friends with saddened eyes, Kurapika's last words ringing with an air of truth in his head. Killua really had a tough road ahead of him if he was going to try and get into a relationship with Gon, and keep it that way. Leorio knew that Gon was not his father, but, at the same time, from what Leorio had seen of Ging, he and Gon were remarkably similar all the same, despite their slight differences. Ging had never been able to make the relationship with Gon's mother work, but the young doctor assumed that had to do with his career choice. Killua was another hunter, at least, and could keep up with Gon no problem. That didn't mean that Gon was dating material, though. The younger boy was clueless about a lot of things, and Leorio wouldn't be surprised if Gon hadn't even been on a date, or if he actually understood the ins and outs of dating to begin with.
Before the taller man could think any more on the subject at hand, his and Kurapika's booth finally arrived, and the two of them entered. They sat down immediately across from each other, and Leorio could automatically feel the tension between them again. Why did everything have to be so awkward around the other?
Thankfully, Kurapika opted for some light, and safe, conversation, and asked him about his visits with Gon and Killua during his time in school.
"Well, first off, I wouldn't say that I breezed through med school. It was more like I crawled through as fast as I could with my arms and legs bound behind me and with a sedative in my system," the rookie doctor laughed, albeit a bit painfully as he thought back on his schooling days. "But thanks, Kurapika! Yeah, I had to study so much during my breaks, too, I can't even describe how my head felt most of the time."
There was a short pause then as Leorio contemplated on what to tell Kurapika about his visits with the kids. Now that he thought about it, every time he had met up with Gon and Killua, he had also tried to get ahold of Kurapika as well…but he never did…
Feeling his stomach start to turn uncomfortably at the thought and as bad memories started to resurface, Leorio finally stated, "Well, when I did meet up with the kids, it wasn't for vacations like the one we're taking now. In all actuality, this is the first official vacation I've taken in four years. When I met up with Gon and Killua previously, one time was for the voting in of the new chairman for the hunter's society. Can you believe they actually voted me in as a candidate and I made it to the top two?! It seemed I gained a lot of favor after punching Gon's father in the face…"
There was another short pause then as Leorio tried to suppress the anger and sadness that suddenly consumed him, but he found it was becoming a losing battle. He was always confused over why he hadn't been able to get ahold of Kurapika for so long over the years. His contact with the Kurta was only about once a year over the phone…but he had called the other so many times, and it was obvious that Kurapika had his phone number set in his phone, because he always knew that it was him when he picked up his phone…
…Why hadn't the other tried to call him back?
"You know…I tried to call you a lot during that time…" Leorio whispered out as he hung his head, unable to look at the young man sitting across from him. "I didn't know what to do…I didn't want to become chairman and…during most of that time…Gon was deathly ill…I thought you should have been there…"
The young doctor tried to tell himself to stop speaking then, that he and Kurapika were finally back on the right track to feeling alright around each other again, but…he had to know…Leorio thought he had the right to know.
"When I met up with Gon and Killua during later dates, they would always come and visit me for a little bit, because I was always too busy otherwise. I always tried to invite you over, too, even though I knew that you were probably busy with your quest. Gon…I remember Gon telling me that he and Killua had been able to talk to you a good amount over the years but…for some reason…I could never reach you like they could."
Leorio swallowed hard then, knowing that he was going to be asking something he had been scared about for a while now, something he had been so confused on, but there was no backing out now that it was out in the open.
"I don't understand, Kurapika. I know it wouldn't be too strange not to get ahold of you that much but…I've hardly talked to you over the course of at least…three-some years? Yet Gon and Killua had been able to more often than me? What are the odds of that, right? That they could get ahold of you and yet I couldn't for all of those years? And what's more…when I could get ahold of you, you always knew I was calling…and yet…all those other times I called you, you never picked up and…you never tried to call me back."
Leorio's hands dug into the plastic seat of his booth then as his emotions began to turn chaotically within him. He had always been afraid that Kurapika had been avoiding him, that he had wanted nothing to do with him because he found him annoying or something… but then, why was he picking up a different vibe from his blond-haired friend now that they were face to face? Was Kurapika just a really good actor or something, and just putting up with him because he was Gon and Killua's friend, too, and he didn't want to cause chaos within the group? Was he just…the fourth, unwanted wheel to Kurapika that the other was just trying to deal with?
"I just don't understand, Kurapika, I really don't," the young doctor stated on shaking breath as he finally looked up and into the Kurta's brown eyes, Leorio's own brown shining with hurt and confusion. "It…it felt like you were trying to avoid me…and…it really hurt to think that you would want to do that…I mean…I guess it would make sense, because we've never been able to have a civil conversation without fighting or something," Leorio laughed weakly then as he averted his eyes again, "but the thought that you never really considered me a friend to begin with, or that you didn't want to be my friend anymore just…hurt too much. I tried to be as civil as possible when I finally did get ahold of you, but it was so hard because I wanted to know why. But now that you're finally here before me I'm…I'm not getting that same vibe that I always got from you over the phone. It's like…all those years of next to no contact had never happened."
With eyes set now in steely determination, Leorio finally looked up into Kurapika's eyes again, desperate for an answer to something that had been bothering him for years now.
"Just what am I to you, Kurapika? Why did you avoid me for so long? Do you…actually not like me?"
Unexpectedly for a loudmouthed person, like Leorio usually was, he was pretty humble about his academic accomplishments.
"Even though it might not have been too easy on you, you passed in the minimum required time, which is unusual, I've learned. Most students have to at least retake two or three courses. You should be proud of your accomplishment," Kurapika told the young doctor with a reassuring smile.
There was a pause between them then. With every trickling second it grew more potent. There was uncertainty in Leorio's eyes. He was contemplating something, and Kurapika understood then and there that the topic he had chosen wasn't as innocent as he had hoped. It seemed to have triggered something. He feared this was going to some place he didn't want to go. When Leorio spoke up again, it was kind of like he was telling a funny story, except that there was little mirth in the other man's voice. Things were clearly heading downhill. Kurapika did his best to try and fight it.
"Oh, yeah, the vote for the new chairman. I only heard about the proceedings afterward. I heard about you almost landing the job," he said with a soft chuckle. Though Kurapika had dropped off the grid at the time, he had inquired into the proceedings afterward. He was one of the few that did not vote, but if he had, he would have chosen Leorio, too. "No! You didn't actually punch Ging? How did that come about?"
Kurapika tried to keep the conversation going in that direction, steering it into safer waters again, but Leorio didn't seem to hear him. Since his fellow hunter never had been too hard to read, the Kurta saw the pain and the sadness flickering in his eyes, and felt it flowing from the other man in waves. And then, the topic that he definitely didn't want to talk about was brought up. Leorio told him how much he had wanted to talk to him, and told him how he thought he should have visited the deathly sick Gon. It was something Kurapika still felt bad about when he thought about it. He had later apologized to the beast hunter for that.
"I was in deep cover at the time. Not even the Hunter Association could get ahold of me, and they have very special means to do so. I had no idea what was going on, believe me..."
Leorio didn't seem too interested in what he had to say, because he kept up with his accusations. That's what his words were; accusations. Kurapika knew of course that the doctor was right. He had ignored his calls. The man had every right to call him out on that. Still, it frustrated Kurapika. How was he to answer? He couldn't very well tell the truth. And why couldn't the other man just be mad about the situation and not even bother about bringing it up to begin with? Why did Leorio have to look so...hurt?
"I didn't..." He lied lamely when Leorio accused him of trying to avoid him. "That's not how it was..."
Leorio was pouring his heart all over the place. Kurapika felt like he needed to sweep up all the pieces and carefully put them back together with superglue. The conclusions Leorio had drawn from his avoidance were the worst possible. Kurapika never had wanted to hurt the man he had secretly been in love with for so long now. It was a wonder the doctor still talked to him after what he had surmised about him. But what was he to say now? He couldn't tell the truth; it would only make things worse.
A steel-hard, demanding gaze caught his then, pinning it. Leorio wanted answers, and he had a right to them, but Kurapika still had a hard time coming up with them, and he had a feeling his friend would not be satisfied with the answers he could give.
"You are a friend, Leorio, and a dear one at that. I...I hope you feel the same way. I like you! Of course, I like you! I know we're not always on the same page and we quarreled a lot, but most of the time it was kind of fun, too, wasn't it?" Kurapika looked at the other imploringly then. "I...I had so much going on. So little time. And...and the boys are easier to talk to..." He was trying to find reasons to make Leorio understand without telling the full truth, but this half-truth already seemed enough to hurt the other again. "I'm here now, am I not? You asked me, and I agreed. I wanted to see you, Leorio. I've missed you. It's the truth."
Kurapika knew then, he was saying too much. His cheeks flushed a rosy color. He was letting too many of his true feelings shine through, but what else could he do? He couldn't let Leorio think he hated him! He would never get what he wanted the most. Leorio just could not feel the same way about him as he did about the other, but at least he wanted to remain friends! If the doctor kept up with his dark thoughts and doubts, he would lose him for good. Kurapika couldn't bear that thought. Those years of not seeing the other and barely talking to him had been hard on him. He had only been able to pull through by telling himself that Leorio needed to study and shouldn't be distracted, and that his own feelings would finally cool down during that time. The Kurta had been wrong, so terribly wrong. Sitting opposite the other now, seeing how much his actions had hurt him, all Kurapika wanted to do was to wrap his arms around Leorio and kiss him to show him the depth of his true feelings, but he knew it was the worst thing he could do.
"I hope we're still friends, Leorio. I'm sorry if I hurt your feelings when I didn't call you back. I never meant to...hurt you in any way. Please, try to believe me," Kurapika begged in a soft voice. He really wasn't sure if Leorio even could trust him, since he was keeping the truth from him and could not offer any meaningful reason as to why he had avoided him. Still, he just had to try.
Leorio just listened as Kurapika desperately tried to plead his case, all the while reassuring him that he still considered him a friend, and that he was sorry for what he had done. The young doctor took Kurapika's words in with a grain of salt, his eyes still shining with hurt and disbelief when he realized his friend wasn't telling him the whole truth. His reasons as to why he hadn't talked to him were half-assed at best, with one of the reasons actually making Leorio's heart clench with pain. Was he that difficult to talk with?
The taller man saw the look in his blond friend's eyes, though, the warm brown pleading for him to remain as his friend and to forgive him, even though his reasons didn't add up to his ignorance. If Kurapika really had so much going on (and Leorio had no doubt that he did, but still…) and not enough time, then why would he call Gon and Killua over him? He didn't think he was that difficult to talk to, since, in his opinion, most of their fights were caused by Kurapika's sarcastic and slightly demeaning attitude, but Leorio knew he was at fault for reacting so negatively to them, since he couldn't seem to handle constructive criticism from the blond.
Leorio just hung his head and sighed as Kurapika finished pleading his case, before he brought his head back up to look at the smaller blond across from him.
"I believe you…to a point…" The young doctor stated with slight frustration and hurt in his voice. "I can tell that there's something you're not telling me here. I can just feel it. But I won't press it any further because I'm just…sick of fighting with you Kurapika."
Leorio turned his attention away from the Kurta then in favor of looking out the window, his insides feeling like they were twisting up inside him from the pain he was still feeling from the chain-users words.
"I'm sorry I'm so difficult to talk with…" The older man whispered out morosely as he still refused to look at the other. "I don't try to be…I really don't…There's nothing I want more than to have a civil conversation with you without resorting to petty bickering…even if some of those moments are fun because teasing you is more enjoyable than it should be…"
A light blush adorned the doctor's cheeks at his last words, wondering if he should have mentioned them at all, because they could possibly be taken another way. Would Kurapika see him as even weirder now? Would this actually start another fight between them?
"…A-Anyway, I just want to tell you that…you really can talk to me about anything, Kurapika. I want to be a good friend to you because you're...you're very important to me…"
Damn it, why were his cheeks getting redder?! Why was he so embarrassed to say these things?! Well, he didn't share his feelings like this too often, sure, but there was no need for such an embarrassing action!
Trying to keep his thoughts and his body under control, Leorio waited then for what Kurapika had to say, the atmosphere between them turning awkward once again.
When the doctor hung his head, the blond knew his words were not enough. The reasons he could offer were shallow at best, and, of course, Leorio could not accept them at face value. But could the other man still find it in his heart to forgive him?
Leorio called him on still hiding the main reason for why he had kept his distance. Of course he was right, but Kurapika didn't know what else to tell him. The full truth was out of the question. But in keeping the truth from his friend, he hurt him again. Why was it so hard between them?
"I don't want to fight with you either," he said softly, and meant every word.
Leorio looked away from him, watching the park slowly go by. His next words showed the Kurta how deeply his words had hurt the man he was in love with. It had never been his intention to cause the other pain, but he saw no other way. The tall, confident man sported a soft blush when he carried on. The wish he uttered then, brought hope to Kurapika.
"That's what I want, too," he agreed from the bottom of his heart.
His friend told him how he liked to tease him then. Kurapika couldn't help but smile softly at that. It was fun sometimes; he had to agree to that. Not the real arguments, never those, but the little quarrels about the simple things. Riling up Leorio over stuff like that was fun.
Flustered and blushing even deeper, the doctor told him how he wanted to be a good friend to him. It was so hard to know that his half-assed reasons made Leorio believe he hadn't been. He was a good friend. Kurapika might hate his guts sometimes when he just couldn't shut his big mouth, but Leorio meant well when he did so. Yes, Kurapika had been furious about the things Leorio had said last night, but they were said out of true concern, and he had been right, mostly. The Kurta was headstrong and fixated so much on his set goals that he had lost perspective, and Leorio had called him on that. Only a true friend, someone who was more concerned about you than about the effects it might have on the relationship, would tell you the truth like that. Kurapika was a very proud creature. Although he had seen the truth in most of what Leorio had said last night, he still clung to the way the doctor had made a scene and excited him enough for his eyes to change. Kurapika had been sure as hell that he would not apologize, or admit to the other man that he was right. Watching him now, though, seeing the pain and the sadness he had caused, made his resolve crumble.
The Kurta scooted forward in his seat, closer to Leorio. He needed the other man's attention now. He knew, he wouldn't say this twice.
"You are a good friend, Leorio. The things you said yesterday... You were right...mostly. But you knew I wouldn't like to hear what you had to say. You didn't know if I would even hate you for saying them. You knew the consequences this might have on our relationship and on this vacation, and still, you said them. You were more concerned about what might happen to me if you kept your opinions to yourself, and bravely spoke up knowing full well what might happen. Only a true friend would do that."
He looked into the dark chocolate eyes of the man sitting opposite of him.
"I hope someday I can be a friend like that to you, too," he said softly, knowing that he wasn't a good friend at the moment. He was selfish, wanting things he couldn't get, and hurting his friend because of them. Kurapika needed to work harder on fighting his romantic feelings for Leorio and to become a true friend to him.
It really sounded like Kurapika wanted the same thing as him; a good friendship where they could actually talk to each other without arguing, really arguing, but Leorio was still a little uncertain about the other's claims. It wasn't like he didn't want to believe Kurapika was capable of actually helping him in pulling that sort of friendship off, it was just that the other had clearly shown that he was avoiding him for some reason, so how could they accomplish that friendship if Kurapika was still going to avoid him?
An answer actually came to him in the form of the Kurta himself as the young doctor saw his blond friend scoot closer to him from across the way in order to address him. When Kurapika's words reached his ears, Leorio could only stare at the other in astonishment, almost unable to believe that what he was hearing was true. Kurapika…he was actually admitting that the things that Leorio had said last night were actually correct…for the most part anyway. Just the very fact for Kurapika to admit he was wrong about something was rare, if not almost unheard of, and he was actually admitting it to him! Kurapika had never admitted he was wrong in a fight with the young doctor, never!
When his blond friend's hopeful words reached his ears the next second, Leorio couldn't stop his body from reacting. Automatically, one of the emission user's hands shot out to take one of Kurapika's hands into his. Leorio then stared into Kurapika's surprised eyes, the doctor's own flashing with absolute seriousness as a soft, grateful smile graced his lips.
"You can, Kurapika," Leorio whispered out then as he gripped the other's hand a little tighter, feeling the warmth of the other's skin against his. "Don't make it sound like you can never live up to that, because I…I already thought you were a great friend…you know…before all this avoidance popped up…You helped me so much, and kept things realistic for me when I was being too naïve…you saved me in more ways than one."
A look of pure affection replaced the look on Leorio's face then as he continued to stare at the young man he had always considered his closest friend after Pietro passed…Sure, they had had a rough spot in that friendship as of late…Okay, they had several, but he had had those with Pietro, too, so…maybe that was why he felt so close to Kurapika? Maybe he was seeing parallels between the Kurta and his long gone friend?
"Just the fact that you brought up last night, and that you actually took my words into consideration…I never expected you to admit something like that," Leorio continued softly, his tone filled with gratitude and hope. "In fact…I want to say sorry for last night…Although I don't take back what I said, I should have known better than to anger you with such a private matter in a public place…That…That's why I won that plushy for you…as an apology…Although I wasn't expecting the pillow…" The young doctor laughed lightly then before he continued, "It's...it's something like this, you know, that makes me think that we can make this friendship between us work…that we can make it better than before from now on. If we're both open like this a little more often maybe…maybe…"
It was then that Leorio realized the words he was saying, the fact that he didn't know what he was trying to get at, and that he was leaning very close to his conjurer friend while holding his hand and staring into his eyes. A very awkward, very profuse blush attacked the poor doctor's cheeks then as he released Kurapika's hand like the blond had set it on fire.
"Um…well…you know what I mean, right? Hehehe…" The taller man laughed out nervously, unsure of the plethora of feelings that were twisting around in his stomach. Maybe…maybe the parallels between Pietro and Kurapika weren't as parallel as he had first thought…
Suddenly and unexpectedly, Leorio grasped his hand and looked into his eyes so deeply and earnestly that it rooted Kurapika to the spot. He felt his heart skip a beat, only to start up again, and begin to race like crazy. He couldn't take his eyes off of Leorio's cute, little smile. The warm, soft voice of the doctor was like a sweet caress to his ears as he told him that he had considered Kurapika a friend before already. Leorio's hand squeezed his, and the Kurta was acutely aware of the strength and the warmth of the other man. He felt his cheeks heat up.
His heart beating erratically in his chest, and his face flushed, Kurapika felt lightheaded as he looked into the other's dark chocolate eyes that were so full of warmth and feeling. For a moment, the cool Kurta lost himself to his heart's wish. With the way they were so close right now, the way they touched and looked at each other, it was so easy to believe there could be more. Leorio even apologized for what had happened the night before; the way he had endangered him by exciting him too much to control his eye color. To know his second Ran-Ran was an apology gift only made it more precious to Kurapika then. When the other one mentioned the pillow and laughed, the Kurta's little moment of secret hope died a sudden death. He forced a little chuckle. There could never be more between them than friendship, but he would take that over losing Leorio from his life forever.
Kurapika nodded in agreement that they were on a good path. That was when something changed in the doctor's eyes. He suddenly flushed a deep crimson and snapped his hand back, like the Kurta's hand had burned it.
No matter how Kurapika tried to rationalize the reaction, it hurt him. Was it so bad for Leorio to even touch him? Maybe the stupid macho feared for his reputation as a lady's man if he was seen holding a male friend's hand? No matter the reason, it hurt, and that in itself made the Kurta mad. He shouldn't feel like that, he knew that, but he just couldn't help himself.
Scooting back in his seat, Kurapika crossed his arms before his chest.
"Yes, I think I do," he answered in a cooler voice than before.
They had already passed the peak and missed it because of their intense conversation. He looked out of the windows, trying to keep his feelings under control again. It wasn't Leorio's fault that he couldn't keep his feelings in check. He knew there was no chance in hell for them, no matter how touchy feely the doctor became. So really, he shouldn't be mad at him. Pulling himself together as best as he could, Kurapika pointed.
"That looks like the water ride you wanted to go on. It looks like a thrilling ride. That's what you were looking for in it, right? Looking at the splash wave at the end, I bet it's pretty refreshing in this heat, too."
The tension that had built between them dropped somewhat as they looked at the park from above and pointed out things that looked interesting.
As Kurapika scooted away from him and crossed his arms, Leorio got the impression that he had done something wrong. Dang it, why had he grabbed Kurapika's hand in the first place? The other must feel so awkward around him now, or even mad for invading his personal space without permission!
Leorio wanted nothing more than to apologize then, but his blond friend seemed to want to just shrug off whatever that was bugging him, because he just looked out the window the next second as their booth started to descend, and commented about the large water rollercoaster outside.
"Uh, yeah!" The young doctor answered quickly, desperate for a change of topic in hopes of lifting the awkward mood between them. "I actually wanted to ride it during the hottest part of the day. I bet it would be the best thing to ride after we get some lunch!"
From there, the two of them pointed out some other rides they would like to go on, and Leorio even commented on how it looked like there was a large garden off in the distance that they could check out too if they wanted a breather from the rides. Through all that time, though, the awkward mood still lingered, and the young doctor wondered if it was going to be there for the rest of the vacation.
As soon as the other asked him why they didn't share their booth with their other friends , Killua couldn't stop himself from giving Gon an incredulous look.
"Are you serious, Gon?" Killua deadpanned as he set his foxbear plushy beside him. "What do you think the point of coming to the Ferris Wheel was? We were coming here to get Leorio and Kurapika to admit their feelings to each other remember? Do you honestly think they would do that if the both of us were in the same booth as them?"
Killua looked at him in a way that told Gon that he had asked something stupid. The teen had a sinking feeling. Why was this always happening to him? He wasn't really stupid. At least...at least he thought so. He had good ideas, too. People had told him so. Every now and then even Killua thought so, but there were so many other times when he was slow to understand things, and he hated it when that happened around his best friend.
The questions Killua shot at him made Gon open his mouth to answer, only to shut it at the next question and try to think what the questions would lead to.
"Ehm...I guess not?" Gon answered uncertainly.
Sure, they had decided the Ferris Wheel was a romantic place and that it was meant to bring the other two together, but Killua hadn't said the two needed to be alone together, did he? Gon had no problems telling somebody how he felt about them and he didn't care who was around, and Leorio was supposed to be a lot like him, wasn't he? But, now that Gon thought about it, there was another thing that was bothering him.
"But, Killua, isn't a Ferris Wheel ride only really romantic in the sunset or even in the dark? Mito always allowed me to stay out later when I went out with the women on Whale Island, because dates are supposed to be in the evening. It's still daylight, and I don't see why Leorio and Kurapika can't talk while we're around. We're friends aren't we? I know that I say everything I want to say to you with them around."
Gon shrugged. He really didn't see the problem. By looking at his friend, though, he knew he was being stupid again. He had an inkling that it had something to do with that romantic component to Leorio and Kurapika's relationship that he still didn't fully understand. Looking pretty much lost by that point, Gon could do nothing but ask his friend.
"What do you think they would say that they couldn't say with us around? Really, Killua, what... do you expect to happen between the others?"
Killua just continued to stare at Gon incredulously, almost unable to believe that the man with more dating experience than him wouldn't be able to understand the magic of the Ferris Wheel with or without a sunset, or the fact that he didn't understand the necessity of alone time between developing couples (the former assassin also tried not to get outrageously jealous at Gon mentioning his many girlfriends again).
When his taller friend's next question reached him, Killua couldn't stop staring at his friend, his eyes wide with astonishment
"Did you seriously just ask me that, Gon?" The transmuter asked in surprise. When he saw the angered and hurt look on the young beast hunter's face, the former assassin just shook his head before an apologetic look overcame him.
"Sorry, Gon," he whispered out seriously in apology, "I just never expected you to not understand something like this…I guess you've…never been in love with someone, have you? I mean, in the sense that you feel romantic feelings of love towards them like a man would for his wife."
The former assassin tried not to choke on those last words. On the one hand, Gon not having actually loved any of the girls he had taken on his dates was kind of relieving, but, at the same time, that meant that Killua's feelings for the other weren't reciprocated either…
Still, that didn't mean that Killua couldn't get that reciprocity; he'd just have to plant the seeds, first.
With a plan coming to mind that could actually make or break him, Killua was willing to go through with it in order to better his practically oblique chances of having Gon feel the same way towards him. He'd do anything by that point, honestly.
"Okay, Gon, listen up. I'm going to explain why Leorio and Kurapika should be alone in order to be romantic, and then actually show you in a sense, so that you understand better," the former assassin explained slowly as he stared earnestly into Gon's hazel eyes. "I know it's best to physically walk you through a simulation, because you learn a lot better that way."
Taking a deep breath then, Killua went into teacher mode.
"Alright, from what I read, the whole thing about romance in relationships has two sides to it. One side," Killua started as he held up one of his pointer fingers, "is where the couple is able to show their romantic feelings in public through acceptable public displays such as holding hands, hugging, cuddling, light kissing, and light and teasing conversations; anything other than that concerning the relationship, the second side, is considered to be private between the individuals, where no outsiders should be allowed to witness or hear them in fear of an awkward situation popping up, or for the special moment to be ruined for the lovers. Are you following me so far?"
Seeing the hesitant nod from his friend, Killua just sighed as he tried to elaborate more.
"Okay, Gon, just try to imagine yourself in this scenario; you've felt romantic feelings towards someone for a very long time, and you want to finally confess and pour out your feelings to them. This moment is actually a huge occasion for any starting couple, so would you actually confess to them in the confines of a crowded booth on a Ferris Wheel surrounded by your friends, or would you want to get a private booth so that you can tell this person you care about how you really feel about them? Before you even try to answer—" Killua cut his friend off as soon as he saw Gon open his mouth, "—the actual answer is the last one. Being one on one with the person you love makes the atmosphere between you more intimate, like your words are only for them, and that makes the moment all the more special and meaningful."
Gon seemed to be contemplative then, so Killua pressed on ahead, his nerves actually starting to act up as the next stage of his plan was enacted.
"Okay, I think you understand the reason behind why Kurapika and Leorio need to be alone, so let's act out how I want their situation to turn out, but let's imagine this with you in mind, alright?" Killua asked hesitantly, waiting for Gon to accept his circumstances before he continued. He didn't want his friend to feel awkward after all…and he sure as hell hoped that he wouldn't feel awkward when he finally did agree and Killua succeeded with his plan.
After receiving a confirmation nod, the silver-haired teen continued then.
"Alright, Gon, imagine that the person you've loved for a long time is sitting across from you, and you're both alone in this booth just like we are," Killua explained softly then, his sapphire eyes growing a little distant as he imagined this whole scenario he was about to act out in a different setting and under different circumstances; a situation where Killua wasn't tricking the person he cared for the most, and taking advantage of his innocence…
"The person you love has just won you a stuffed animal of their own volition, even though they didn't need to. You're overjoyed and hopeful that it means your crush feels the same way towards you," Killua continued, trying to swallow the guilt he felt at his own actions, and the heartache he felt at the reminder that he had tricked Gon into getting him a stuffed animal as well. "The both of you fall into conversation; you're words coming easily to you as you talk about good times, the atmosphere around you comfortable yet filled with a slight tension from unsaid words. It comes to the point where you can't stand it anymore, you can't stand keeping the secret you've kept for a long time inside of you, so you take the other person's hands," the silver-haired teen proclaimed passionately as he took Gon's hands in his, unable to look at the other's eyes as he did so. "You tell them that you've been meaning to say something to them for a long time, but you've been too afraid…and then…"
Killua's sapphire orbs hesitantly met Gon's eyes then.
"…You're eyes meet theirs, and you're not nervous anymore," the young teen whispered out with a small smile on his lips, his words coming out more confidently. "You speak confidently from your heart and tell them that…that you love them; you love them more than anything else on this world, and you couldn't imagine living without them…"
Killua gulped then as the images in his mind ran rampant. He kept trying to tell himself that Gon would never do that to him, that he'd never suddenly confess that he loved him, but the thought of it was just too good for the other not to think about. Killua had wanted that for so long, he couldn't adequately describe just how strongly he yearned for it.
"The person you love takes a while to reply, because they're surprised, and they've…they've never thought of you in a romantic light before," the former assassin continued, his voice sounding a bit sad at first, before a twinge of hope made its way through. "But as they continue to think about everything the two of you had been through, and they feel the warmth of your hands in theirs," Killua stated as he squeezed Gon's hands in turn, "they search within themselves and realize that they had been missing something so important, so obvious, for a long time. It's then that they reply that they love you too, that they never want to part from your side…"
Killua unconsciously leaned closer to Gon then, his eyes flashing with uncertainty for a second before a look of determination crossed his features. He was going to go through with this! He had wanted this for so long and…and he was going to show Gon how he felt.
"The two of you stare happily at each other, almost not believing what has transpired…that what you've always dreamed of has actually come true…and in that time, you unconsciously inch closer together," the young transmuter whispered out almost breathlessly as he brought his face slowly closer to Gon's. "By the time you realize what's happening, you're so close that…you can't help yourself…because the both of you had wanted this the whole time…And, with that, the both of you close your eyes…" Killua said as he nodded towards Gon, indicating that his taller friend should do as he had suggested. Gon still looked a little confused, but he eventually closed his eyes. Killua bit his lip at the sight, almost berating himself for what he was doing, but still unable to tell himself to not do what he was about to do.
"And with that, the both of you seal the deal…" The former assassin stated with a note of finality in his voice. "You both show how much you care for each other like this…" And, with that, Killua threw all his uncertainties away and leaned forward to capture Gon's lips in a soft, chaste kiss, his eyes closing afterward. It was everything the silver-haired teen had dreamed of—No, it was better! Gon's lips were so soft, and they fit perfectly against his, but if there was anything that Killua regretted in that moment, it was that he had to make the kiss he had always wanted short for Gon's sake. He wouldn't be surprised if the startled flinch from Gon he had felt after the kiss was enacted meant that he had made the other a bit uncomfortable.
When Killua drew away a few seconds later, he peered uncertainly, yet hopefully at Gon as the beast hunter slowly opened his eyes to look at him.
"Well…that's the situation…" the young teen finished lamely as he waited for Gon's reply on bated breath. "What do you think?"
Killua gave him an incredulous look again, and asked him if his question was for real. The only thing missing was the other actually calling him a stupid nitwit out loud! The young beast hunter didn't care too much about what other people thought of him. Sometimes it was even advantageous if people thought he really was stupid, but when Killua thought this way, it hit him pretty deeply, and just hurt a damn lot. A defiant look was all he could muster to try and hide the pain.
The next moment, his friend actually apologized for the way he had reacted to his honest question. If Gon couldn't ask his best friend about such things, where else was he to turn to? At least Killua understood him then. He agreed to the other's realization that he had never been in love with anyone. Mito had made him go on these dates with the sailor women, partly to teach him on how to treat women right, and partly for the females to have a little fun. Palm was the only other woman he had gone out with, and that was to keep her from going onto a killing spree. There were no romantic feelings involved with any of them.
Killua promised to explain it to him, and, even better, to show him then. Gon knew he really, really understood things so much better when he could experience and feel them instead of just by mere words. Language could be such a convoluted and complicated thing! Happy now that his confusion would finally go away, he leaned forward a little so that he could listen to Killua's explanation better.
Sadly, when his friend started to explain, it really didn't help a whole lot. Gon just didn't get it. Hugging, cuddling, and kissing were okay to be done in public. If that was so, then what was there to that second side he mentioned? What more could two men do? What could they say to each other that was more private than kissing? Gon felt like his head was overheating, and like smoke was ready to burst from his ears because he was trying so hard to make sense of Killua's explanation.
He only nodded slowly and with uncertainty in his gaze when the other one asked him whether he was still following. Well, he was listening, at least, although the understanding of what was being said was a totally different thing.
Although he had not been secretly in love with anyone, Gon tried hard to follow Killua's suggestive lead, and to imagine that he felt that way. But he was open about his feelings, and he was sure he would want to share his feelings with his friends, so, instead of an intimate cabin ride after Killua suggested which one was better, he wanted to opt for riding in the crowded booth, which, of course, was wrong. He shut his mouth again before he could give the wrong answer. Gon sighed miserably.
At least this time he understood the reasoning. Gon didn't mind about being open and sharing his thoughts on anything, but he understood how it could be special to tell something to only one person. It was like sharing a special secret. Just like he was the only one in the whole wide world who knew where Alluka was hidden. Well, except for the people with whom she stayed with. But they didn't know who Alluka really was. So, in all reality, he was the only one. It meant a lot to Gon that Killua trusted him like that, so he could understand the power a secret could have.
With these thoughts in mind, Gon nodded when his friend asked him to try to imagine himself in this situation. It still wouldn't be too easy, because some things were still not clear to him, but Gon thought he could manage, and so he nodded.
He was still iffy on the whole love thing, but he did his best and tried to imagine how that would feel. The teen guessed it would feel somewhat like he felt about Killua, that they were happy to be together, and that they shared everything and never wanted to leave the other person. At least that was what he had seen on TV or heard about. But it couldn't be the same, because Gon didn't keep secrets from Killua, (at least nothing serious) and he never felt nervous about telling him what he felt or thought. So there was a difference then, he guessed, although he couldn't see how this 'love' was supposed to be the ultimate feeling when so much secretiveness and nervousness were involved... Hearing about it like that, he'd much rather have his best friend at his side forever than finding some woman someday.
Killua took his hands then and brought him back into the moment. Finally, the physical walk-through began. Gon was hopeful he'd understand better soon. He always understood things better when he could experience them. Killua's warm hands held his, and he concentrated on that feeling. It was good, and, for some odd reason, his stomach fluttered in a weird way once his silver-haired friend looked up at him. A wave of warmth flooded his system just when Killua told him he should imagine he confessed to his secret love. Had the climate control for their booth malfunctioned?
Gon had a harder time listening to the next few words. He just stared into Killua's sapphire eyes. There was a violet fire burning in their depths that always fascinated him. It usually showed itself when the other one felt deeply about something. Maybe getting Leorio and Kurapika together meant more to Killua than what he had thought.
His hands were squeezed a little tighter then, and Gon concentrated even more on the other's words. His partner leaned forward some more, and his voice suddenly dropped. It was almost like Killua was sharing a secret with him then. Just like his friend, he leaned forward some more as well; it just felt right. When he was told to close his eyes, though, Gon had no idea why. Wondering about it, he still did what the other one wanted. Some things were just sensed better without sight. Killua would have his reasons, he was sure.
A second later, something touched his lips. Surprised at this turn of events, the beast hunter flinched slightly. Once he realized Killua was only demonstrating what he hoped would happen between Leorio and Kurapika, Gon just let it happen, but he still wondered on it. Why did Killua have to kiss him? He was a little slow to understand some things, but he did know what a kiss was! …Although, this was kind of his first—on the lips, that was. Of course Mito and his grandma had kissed him, but he knew that wasn't the same.
Gon was acutely aware then, of how warm and soft his friend's lips felt against his, but, before he could fully concentrate on it, it was all over. It left him absolutely confused. Why did it have to stop right then? And why did he want it to carry on in the first place? And why was his heart beating so fast?
He slowly opened his eyes then. Killua looked at him expectantly. Gon had no idea what the heck he was thinking anymore! Biting his lower lip, he leaned back in his seat. His head felt hot, and he was sure he was blushing. His feelings were in turmoil, as were his thoughts. Something wasn't right, or something was wrong, or something of the like. His face scrunched up as he tried to understand himself and find some answer for Killua. It took a long moment before he could find any clear thought in the jumbled mess that was his head.
"I...I think it would be nice if it turned out the way you described," Gon mumbled in answer.
It was the only thing he could think of. He wanted his friends to be happy, and he wanted his whirling thoughts to stop. He really shouldn't be so confused. Killua had told him he would show him. It was just the easiest way he understood things...usually, that was. Today he didn't understand anything anymore; the least of that, himself.
As his friend leaned back with a look of confusion and deep concentration on his face, Killua began to fear that he had done something wrong in the end. He knew that he shouldn't have gone through with his plan! It was too risky, and Gon would easily become upset with him!
When his best friend did eventually answer, Killua was surprised. Gon wasn't upset with him…but it was obvious that he didn't understand what the former assassin had been trying to get through. A flash of deep hurt resonated behind Killua's sapphire eyes, before he bowed his head so that his bangs could cover most of his expression, and let go of Gon's hands as quickly as possible.
"Yeah, it would be nice…" Killua mumbled out morosely before he turned his attention towards the window, unable to say anything else. He was hurt by Gon's obliviousness, but he was angry with himself more than anybody else. The silver-haired teen should have known that Gon wouldn't get that he was confessing to him. In order for the beast hunter to fully understand something it had to be as direct as possible, but just knowing that Gon had absolutely no reaction to his kiss, that was enough of a sign for Killua.
For the rest of the ride, the former assassin heard Gon try to converse with him, but Killua wouldn't respond. He didn't trust himself to. As soon as he opened his mouth again, he was certain that he'd either say something hurtful to Gon (who didn't deserve that, because it wasn't his fault that he didn't feel the same way), or he'd end up confessing all over again, but for real, and just make the whole situation worse.
As soon as the ride was over, Killua got up, and grabbed his foxbear beside him. When he exited the cabin and made his way over to the side of the line in order to wait for Leorio and Kurapika, he couldn't stop staring at the plushy in his hands. Killua's anger mounted as he stared at the gift he had tricked Gon into giving him. What the hell was wrong with him?! All he was doing was trying to make a lie out of something that could never be! How pathetic was he?!
When Gon finally joined him, Killua didn't think twice before shoving the foxbear plushy into the confused enhancer's hands.
"I don't want to hold onto it anymore," the silver-haired teen commented bitterly before he turned his head away from Gon, signifying that he didn't want to talk. Killua knew that he was definitely hurting Gon by that point in time, but he couldn't bring himself to feel sorry about the whole ordeal. He was too busy wallowing in his self-loathing to care about his actions.
Killua's anger only mounted when Leorio and Kurapika came out of the next booth. As soon as the former assassin laid eyes on them, he knew that what he had hoped would happen hadn't happened at all, if the completely awkward atmosphere between the two was anything to go by.
"So, that was fun, huh?" Leorio laughed out nervously as soon as the four of them met up again. Killua could see how the doctor was looking at him with concern, but he just glared angrily back. "What do you guys want to do next?" The emission user asked then.
"I'm going to eat," Killua practically hissed out as he stomped away from the group in a huff. Nothing had worked out at all!
Hearing the other three follow after him, but finding himself unable to care, Killua did the only thing he could think of at the moment; go to the nearest sweets stand and pig out. Sweets always made him feel better, and if there was anything that Killua needed at that moment, it was to feel better.
As soon as his words were out, Gon knew he had chosen the wrong ones. For some reason, pain flashed in Killua's eyes, right before he hid them behind his bangs. That's why Gon had bought the hairpins. He hated it when Killua's eyes were hidden. They could often tell him much more about what the other was feeling than the rest of his face.
Although his friend agreed to his hope that things would turn out like their simulation for Leorio and Kurapika, Gon wasn't really sure he meant what he said, or maybe he suddenly didn't really care anymore, which was very odd. The spiky-haired teen knew that he had done something wrong, but he had absolutely no idea what that could have been. He had done everything Killua had asked of him. Obviously, it had something to do with his last answer. Something about it had been wrong, but what?
Gon was still so confused about the kiss and his reaction to it that he couldn't think straight and didn't find an answer to his question. He tried the next best thing, and that was taking Killua's mind off whatever had bothered him about his answer. The beast hunter looked out the windows and was actually able to see their hotel, and pointed this out to the other, but he got no reaction out of him. The same went for the different rides he pointed at. Even asking his friend explicitly which ride he wanted to go to next got no reaction from Killua.
By the end of the ride, Gon was looking wide-eyed and incredulous at his companion. The silent treatment was something he wasn't used to from his best friend. It was stupid and childish and... stupid! And it actually made Gon angry that Killua wasn't talking to him, and that he had no damn idea why! But since Killua wasn't talking to him, he couldn't even find out what he had done wrong. So, it was just stupid! At least his friend took along the plushy he had won for him. So, whatever was wrong couldn't be all that bad if he still cared about his gift, right?
He followed the blacklist hunter, who had rushed out before him, to the sidelines to wait for their other two friends. As soon as he had caught up to him, Killua suddenly shoved the plushy toy at him, and told him he didn't want it. He wasn't even looking at him anymore! Gon took hold of the foxbear and looked at it in a pained and lost way. He was standing right next to his friend, but they could as well have been miles apart. What was going on? Was Killua finally fed up with explaining things to him again and again? Was he really so stupid that Killua couldn't take it anymore?
A deep sadness gripped the usually happy teen then. He wrapped his arms around the plushy toy, holding it close for comfort. Gon had no idea how to make things better, since he didn't know what exactly he had done wrong, but if his fears finally had become reality, and Killua was fed up with his stupidity, then there really was nothing he could do. He had tried to get smarter just like he got stronger, but, somehow, that didn't work the same way. If Killua felt he was too stupid to bother with, and wasn't worth the work he had to put in, then that was that. Gon shied away from thinking about the consequences if that was really the case.
Leorio and Kurapika exited their booth then. At least those two seemed to have enjoyed the ride. They were still talking to each other when they approached! Leorio was laughing and asking what they wanted to do next. Killua didn't look at anybody, didn't consult with anyone, but declared that he would eat, and marched off.
It was one thing to be mad at him and not talk to him for something he had done wrong (whether the heck he knew what that was or not), but to behave around their innocent friends like that was just plain rude! Once more, Killua's stupid and childish behavior was starting to make Gon angry. Really, if he had done something wrong, Killua should just tell him, and he definitely should have left Leorio and Kurapika out of it!
While Leorio looked kind of dumbstruck after the receding Killua, Kurapika was the one to ask what had gotten into him. Looking lost and distraught again, Gon shrugged his shoulders.
"I don't know. I really don't."
"Let's follow him for the moment," Kurapika decided after he had looked at Gon for a long moment.
They went after Killua, and caught up to him at a sweets vendor. Kurapika raised his brows as he glanced at Leorio. He didn't consider sweets real food, and felt certain that the good doctor would be of the same opinion. Killua was pointing at different things he wanted to buy so that, in the end, the amount he was getting could be considered a full meal. Maybe Gon really had no idea what had happened, but something had happened; this much was sure.
Leorio stared in complete disbelief when he saw Killua walk away from the sweets stand with an armload of hard candies, crepes, and cotton candy. Something was definitely wrong; there was no doubt about it. Not only had Killua looked upset the moment the young doctor had stepped off the Ferris Wheel, but his plushy that Gon had won for him was in the beast hunter's hands, and now Killua was drowning himself in dopamine-inducing sweets. Something had obviously happened during Killua and Gon's private moment, and Leorio could only assume that Gon's completely dense attitude had prevented him from understanding Killua's advances…if he was correct to assume that was what Killua had wanted to talk to Gon privately about in the first place.
Feeling eyes on him then, Leorio turned his head in the direction the gaze was coming from to see Kurapika looking up at him with a serious, yet worried, calculating gaze. The taller man returned the look after figuring out that his smaller friend was concerned about Killua's attitude. There was no doubt that something had happened between their youngest friends.
Noticing how Killua was sitting down now at a far off table, Leorio suggested, "How about we get some food and sit at a different table than Killua? I think we need to give him some space for the moment."
Seeing an accepting nod from Kurapika, and a reluctant one from Gon, the boys headed off to a food stand to get some lunch, and then sat down at a table a good distance away from the upset transmuter. As they ate their assorted food (the amusement park actually sold a variety of fast foods from all over the world; Leorio had settled on a delicacy from the Yorbian continent called a 'corn dog'), the rookie doctor couldn't help but notice how Gon didn't have much of an appetite, which was really strange for the young teen. Could it be that the other was so worried about Killua's behavior that he was actually making himself feel sick?
"You need to eat, Gon," Leorio pressed lightly as concern for his friend entered his tone. "On a hot day like this, you need as much energy as you can to keep yourself going."
Gon looked like he agreed with him at least, but he didn't eat much more of his food, much to Leorio's disappointment. It seemed that the only thing that could get his appetite back was for Killua to start acting normal again.
As soon as the three of them were done with their food, Leorio glanced over towards Killua, who was still eating the large amount of sweets he had bought for himself. Just watching the other eat so much junk food made Leorio cringe. That was definitely not good for a person's health.
"Hey, Gon, how about you go over and talk to Killua?" Leorio suggested once he turned his attention away from the silver-haired teen. "Kurapika and I were thinking about riding the water rollercoaster after lunch, so how about you ask him if he'd like to join us? I bet a good, fun, and refreshing ride will make him happier!"
Even though Gon wasn't quite as shocked by the humongous amounts of sweets Killua bought, he still felt very bad about it. Gon knew his friend's sweet tooth only too well. The blacklist hunter would easily spend all of his money on sweets without a second thought if he saw something that caught his fancy. It wasn't like Gon didn't like sweets, too, but he could never indulge in the amounts his best friend did. Also, he was more realistic and responsible than that. He was the one who saved up money to get them from day to day and held them over until their next job paid off.
The thing that really worried him was that Killua didn't have his backpack with him. That meant he really intended to eat all of the stuff he had just bought right then and there. The wild assortment and the amount were proof enough to Gon that Killua was extremely upset. His friend wasn't just angry or furious at him for whatever it was that he had done, no, somehow he had hurt the other, and badly at that. For Killua to pig out like that, he had to be very upset and distraught. Knowing, he was the reason for making him feel that way, Gon felt very, very bad.
As he watched Killua sit down at a table as far away from them as possible, Leorio suggested they all should get something to eat, too. The beast hunter looked once more at his best friend, who couldn't have made it anymore clearer that he didn't want anyone of them around, and hung his head sadly. He slowly nodded in agreement to Leorio's proposal, even though he wasn't hungry at all. His stomach was almost in as much turmoil as his thoughts were at the moment. Gon looked at the plushy in his arms one last time, before he carefully stowed it away in his backpack, the head of the toy popping out, because it was too big to fully fit inside.
The foods the park served were of a huge variety. Gon got something that was called a "pizza", since it looked really delicious. Under normal circumstances, he would have been through it in mere minutes, but when they sat down to eat, he shot a glance at Killua, and what little appetite the wonderful smell of the food had raised was lost again. Listlessly, he munched on a slice of the pizza-thing, and though he could tell it was good, his hunger just wouldn't return.
What was it that he had done wrong? And why was Killua so upset about it? Why was he too stupid to figure it out? He hated the thought that he had hurt his best friend.
Leorio told him to eat more then, and Gon had to agree to the doctor's reasoning. In this heat, he definitely needed more energy, but all the logic in the world couldn't help when he just had no appetite, and when he felt so badly about hurting his friend that even the little food he had ingested felt like too much. Gon felt like he would throw up if he ate much more. At least he managed to eat up that one slice of his pizza he had been munching on by the time the other two were done eating up their own choices.
Another glance over at Killua's table showed him that his friend was still at it with his pigging out. Leorio suggested that he should go over and invite Killua along for the water rollercoaster ride. Gon sighed sadly.
"I don't know...He doesn't even talk to me at all anymore."
Gon glanced at his friend on the far table again. His gaze was full of yearning. It was very, very rare for the two of them to be fighting, but even when they did, they still talked to each other. The whole situation was weighing heavily on Gon.
"I'll try," he decided in the end and stood.
Slowly, he approached his best friend and tried to think of what he wanted to say. As usual, thinking about things didn't work for the teen. He would just speak from the heart with the words that came to him then and there. Nervously, he rubbed the back of his head as he approached the other's table, and started rocking back and forth on his feet as soon as he came to a stop.
"Ehm...uh...Killua? You know I'm not always so fast to catch on, and some things get by me. I...I don't know what I did... but I'm sorry I made you upset. If...if you tell me, I'll do everything I can to make it better. I really, really didn't want to make you feel bad," Gon said softly and looked at his best friend as openly and as honestly as he could, hoping Killua would give him a chance. "We wanted to go the water rollercoaster next. We're hoping the water will cool us down a little. Won't you join us? Please?" Unconsciously, Gon put on his best puppy dog eyes then as he pleadingly looked at his best friend.
Despite his best efforts, Killua wasn't feeling any happier. All he was getting was a massive sugar rush from stuffing his face with sweets.
His mood didn't get all that better when Gon eventually approached him and apologized for hurting him. Killua felt like a total and complete asshole, which effectively worsened his mood. He had no right to make Gon feel bad because the assassin himself felt heartbroken and frustrated.
When Gon then asked him if he wanted to go on the water rollercoaster ride, his voice filled with so much hope, Killua just felt like total shit. He was whining to himself about how he could never have Gon for himself, but here he was, making the love of his life feel horrible. Killua didn't deserve Gon.
"Don't apologize," the former assassin whispered out morosely, his bangs covering his eyes from view. "I'm not upset with you. I'm just frustrated with Leorio and Kurapika," he half-lied. "They didn't progress the way I wanted them to…"
Killua could tell then by the look on Gon's face, when he did decide to look his friend in the eyes, that his friend didn't completely believe him. The silver-haired teen just sighed and went back to eating his fruity candies, his depression coming back to him in waves.
"Look, I don't feel like going on the next ride, so go and enjoy it in my stead. Make sure that Leorio and Kurapika sit next to each other, though. Maybe that will make them become closer…" The former assassin suggested then, averting his eyes away from his friend again.
Gon had expected that it wouldn't be easy to get Killua to come along, but that was because he feared his friend was still angry with him, and that he still wouldn't talk to him. Instead of the expected silent treatment, Killua told him he needn't apologize because he had done nothing wrong. Supposedly, his friend was only upset about Leorio and Kurapika.
The spiky-haired teen's mouth dropped open. Killua was lying, and he was about to call him out on that. At the last moment, he stopped himself, though. What his friend said couldn't be true, because he had been like this since...since the simulation; since the kiss. If Leorio and Kurapika actually had something to do with Killua's bad mood, they were only a part of the problem. It had started with himself. But at least his best friend was talking to him again, and what he said was obviously meant to make him feel a little better. So, calling the lie was a bad idea.
Killua sighed after he glanced at him for a second. He turned to his food again, kind of in a dismissive way. The silver-haired teen told him that he wasn't in the mood for another ride at the moment. Gon sighed softly, too. His shoulders drooped in a defeated fashion. At least, he was given a mission then. Maybe, if he fulfilled it and things worked out, maybe then Killua would feel better.
"I'll do that, I promise, Killua!" He put as much enthusiasm in his answer as he could muster. "Will you at least come along to watch? Please? Pleeeeeeeeease?"
This time around, the puppy dog eyes did the trick. Grudgingly, Killua agreed. Gon returned to his older friends and told them about his half win, while his silver-haired friend packed up his sweets to take them along. He felt the scrutiny of Leorio and Kurapika's gazes but he knew they just felt concerned about them, so he couldn't be annoyed about it. Although Gon wasn't quite happy again, he did feel better since Killua at least had resumed talking to him.
When they reached the water ride, Killua found himself a bench in front of it to watch them, just like Gon had asked. The spiky-haired teen in turn was set to give his best with his new mission. For this ride the waiting line was longer, since it was fun and cooling in the warmth of the burning afternoon sun. Although he was still concerned about Killua's mood and trying to figure out his fault in that mess, Gon tried to keep a light mood while they were waiting in line. He would not only make Leorio and Kurapika sit together but he would try to make them look happy after the ride. Hopefully that would lift his best friend's depression!
Kurapika almost forgot about his own awkwardness around Leorio when he watched what was going on between his younger friends. He had no idea what had happened, since Gon wouldn't tell, and Killua didn't seem on speaking terms with anyone at the moment, but after what he had witnessed at the throwing stand, he was sure Killua's hopes somehow had been crushed during the ride, which was considered to be very romantic in some cultures.
Seeing Killua indulge in the sweets like crazy was even more worrisome. Although the young Zoldyck was known to be immune against most poisons, this kind of diet had to have bad effects—even on him—in the long run. Almost more disconcerting was the way that Killua's bad mood affected Gon. The boy seemed like a different person, like all his vigor and happiness had been sapped away by his silver-haired companion's mood.
After lunch, Leorio sent Gon off to try and talk to Killua, and the boy made some progress at least. The moody, fellow blacklist hunter at least came along to the attraction, although he had said he wouldn't ride it. Since this little admission was enough to lift Gon's spirit a bit, Kurapika was satisfied enough. A sad and depressed Gon was just wrong.
Since their minds had been taken off their own little problems, he and Leorio got along better again. While they waited their turn in the longest waiting queue yet, they made light conversation about what they had seen from the Ferris Wheel, and what they still wanted to see and do.
The water ride consisted of boats shaped like tree trunks that were meant for four people. Although Gon was first in line and should have ended up sitting next to him, the boy's boot lace seemed to have opened, and since they were ushered along by the park attendants, the conjurer found himself sitting next to Leorio in the front row, while Gon hopped in the back.
Kurapika felt a little self-conscious about being so close to the other man once more, because they were packed into the seat pretty tightly. Still, he managed a little smile when he glanced to the side at Leorio. A moment later, the ride began, and the awkward feelings drifted into the back of his consciousness as their boat hit the conveyor belt that was steeply moving them up to the first peak with a jarring motion.
The blond, blacklist hunter remembered that he had promised himself to have fun this day, and once the boat raced down the first steep decline, he screamed and laughed at the thrill it was causing.
Leorio watched on as his two youngest friends talked off in the distance with a look of concern on his face. He really hoped that Killua would buck up and just face Gon so that the both of them could move on. Thankfully, when Gon walked back towards him with a small smile on his face, Leorio was glad to know that his friend was at least semi-successful. With a still grumpy Killua in tow, the four of them walked to the water rollercoaster ride.
The line to get into the ride was unsurprisingly long (the water rollercoaster was obviously the most popular ride in the amusement park, and it was a really hot day to boot), so Leorio spent his time talking with Gon and Kurapika (Killua had wandered off to the side somewhere to sit on a bench and finish off his sweets) about what they had seen from the Ferris Wheel, and came up with plans for other rides to go on afterwards.
When their time to get on the ride came, Gon actually had to tie one of his boots, so the ride attendants had sent Kurapika and him forward to sit in the front seat together. Awkwardness completely consumed the young doctor as he squeezed into the seat next to Kurapika and strapped himself in. The Kurta's side was flushed against his, and the taller man could feel the heat of his friend enter his body, which only made things even weirder for him. When Kurapika sent him a small smile, though, Leorio couldn't help but return it, and it actually helped to relieve some of the stress he was going through in that moment.
Whatever stress the young doctor still felt was swept away the next second when Gon finally joined them by strapping himself into the backseat, and their log-designed boat began to move. Anticipation built in the emission user's stomach as their little group approached their first hill. When they finally reached the top, and their boat swooped down with a mighty whoosh, all of Leorio's troubles were soon forgotten as he screamed out excitedly, the wind rushing through his hair and water splashing up into his face as their boat reached the bottom of the hill and started on the second. He could hear Gon and Kurapika laughing, and it was music to his ears. This was how you were supposed to enjoy a vacation!
More screams of excitement and laughter fell from Leorio's and his friends' lips as they rode down a few more hills (each of the said hills growing with size), a couple of loop de loops that had huge pools of water waiting for them when their boat descended, and there was even a short tunnel filled with animatronic animals and lumberjacks. It was actually at this point, within the animated tunnel, that Leorio heard the sound of rushing water. When he glanced forward, he saw the exit of the tunnel, and there was water falling down over the exit. The water below them was even starting to pick up. They were obviously approaching a waterfall.
That wasn't all, though. Standing over the exit was a gigantic animatronic lumberjack, and there was a huge axe in his hands. He was waiting by the exit, his sightless eyes actually following their boat as they approached. Leorio watched on with slight fear and amazement as the lumberjack lifted his axe up high right when they were a few centimeters away from the exit and swung it down fast when they were right below him. Just before the lumberjack's axe could hit them, though, Leorio felt his stomach practically fly up into his throat as the boat fell over the waterfall. The young doctor screamed (from fear or excitement, he couldn't tell) as he saw the long drop ahead of him. It looked like it went on forever, and it definitely felt like it too! He could hear Gon and Kurapika's screams (Gon's actually sounding still excited by that point) in his ears, and when they finally hit the bottom, another huge pool of water waited for them, the fast momentum of the boat actually causing a large tidal wave of water to wash completely over them. There was no doubt that they were all soaked from head to toe now, even down to their underwear.
When the three boys got off the ride on shaking legs, their bodies shivering from the cold water and excitement, Leorio let out a mighty laugh. That had been way more fun than he had actually expected.
"That was amazing!" The young doctor gasped out between his laughs. "We definitely need to get Killua to ride on this! We should try later, but what do you guys think?"
He glanced at Gon hopefully, and the younger teen just nodded at him with gusto. When Leorio glanced Kurapika's way to see what his blond friend thought of his proposal, the taller man's brown eyes widened in…shock? Awe? He actually had no idea. What he was certain about, though, was that Kurapika was wearing a white shirt, and with the other being completely soaked at the moment, that white shirt was completely see through, clinging in just the right ways to his friend's body (that went for the Kurta's pants, too), and damn, was it even legal for someone of the same sex to look that good when their hair was wet?!
Leorio quickly looked away from the other at that last thought. What the hell was he just thinking about?!
"So yeah, we should go and ride on the carousel or something, don't you think?" Leorio asked hurriedly without waiting for Kurapika's response from earlier. The taller man just wanted to completely forget about what he had been thinking about because…it just didn't make any sense. He…he wasn't sure if he even wanted it to make sense…
The ride was a lot of fun, and with all the splashing water, it was also refreshingly cooling on such a super-hot day. Kurapika kept to his own promise and enjoyed himself. He laughed and screamed with the rollercoaster drops and the splashing of water. To actually be able to share the experience with his friends was what made the experience so fun. Kurapika forgot about the awkwardness he had felt at being so close to Leorio again. It was even kind of nice to feel the other's body shake when he laughed or the growing tension in his body right before the next steep decline.
When they saw the waterfall, Kurapika looked forward to it. Although the exit to this ride was a little off from where the entrance is, he had seen enough drenched people wandering around to know how the ride would end. In this heat it would be the perfect cooling system. What he didn't expect was the seemingly endless drop before the last pool. He screamed alongside Leorio, and couldn't help but laugh like a little boy when they finally landed with a big splash and got the cool down he had been waiting for.
He was laughing even more when they exited their boat and Gon shook himself like a dog to lose some of the water. Kurapika himself only rubbed over his face and swept his hair back as he turned to Leorio. His laugh ended abruptly as he was left speechless, his voice lost.
The doctor had kept with his vacation theme when he had dressed this morning by wearing another floral design, but the shirt wasn't a screaming mixture of colors like yesterday. It was a white shirt with hibiscus flowers. The wet shirt now clung to Leorio's body, hugging a form that was more muscular than Kurapika had even dreamed off. The parts of the material that usually were white, were more like transparent at the moment, and, for some odd reason, the very long pistil of one hibiscus flower ended right before a very visible, very hard, nipple, like it was pointing to it.
Kurapika felt his mouth dry instantly, his face flush because he knew he was staring, and his whole body felt heated, like all the water that was drenching it would evaporate any second now in a puff of steam.
Luckily, Leorio was oblivious, since he had looked at Gon first and was laughing about how much fun the ride was. He then asked them if they wanted to ride once more at a later time and get Killua to go with them. This short delay, before the other's attention was drawn to him, gave Kurapika the time to tear away his gaze.
An enthusiastic Gon nodded wildly to the idea, spraying them with some left over droplets of water from his hair. "Oh yeah! Killua will love this!"
When Leorio finally looked at him, Kurapika had his gaze straight ahead at the exit. The reactions in his body were bad enough already, he couldn't dare to chance another glance at the other man at the moment.
"I agree. We should do this again, and Killua should be with us," he answered a little stiffly. When Leorio suggested the carousel next, Kurapika added, "That's a good idea. The wind from that ride should cool and dry us down."