A/N: Hi there! We'd like to thank all of you for reviewing, once more. It means a lot to us to hear your thoughts about the story. Thanks also go out to the one's who follow us and favorited us and/or our story. Special greetings this time go out to our foreign language readers who care so much, that they actually use a translating program to understand our little scribbling 3
We're already at chapter seven which only marks the halftime for this little novel XD Yet, finally some things start to move, especially with our two dense idiots ;D As kind of a warning this chapter is pretty emotional, so if you're sensitive you might want to have a tissue close by XD We can promise that next chapter will be funnier again, though, since this is one roller coaster of a ride ;D As usual, please enjoy!
Chapter 7
Killua awoke the next morning to the roll of distant thunder and the pounding of rain against the balcony door windows. The former assassin yawned groggily as he brought his head up from its sleeping position on Gon's arm to stare at the balcony doors in question. Sure enough, rain was pelting hard against the glass, and a flash of lightning lit up the room for a split second, another roll of thunder sounding in the distance a few seconds later. Well, the weather channel had been right in thinking that today would be rainy and miserable.
Hating rainy days since they always made him feel groggy, Killua closed his eyes, laid his head back down, and curled comfortably into the heated body next to him…before his groggy brain caught up with his actions, that is. In a flash, the transmuter's sapphire eyes flew open to stare at Gon's sleeping body right next to him.
Startled by the other's presence, and the fact that he had unconsciously slept against Gon again, Killua let out a very undignified yelp of surprise as he pushed himself away from his crush's body. To his misfortune, though, when Killua literally pushed himself away from Gon, the said beast hunter flew out of the bed from the force of the startled push and landed on the floor with a loud 'thump'. Killua heard groaning the next second as he guiltily looked over Gon's edge of the bed and down onto his friend, who was blearily looking up at him and rubbing his head in a sleepy fashion.
Gon awoke with a start. Why did his butt hurt? Tired, he tried to get his bearings, knowing instinctively that something wasn't quite right. He rubbed his head and looked up. For some reason, Killua was looking down on him. Wait... why down? What the heck was he doing on the ground? At least that would explain his hurting butt.
"Wah...it's been a long time since I fell out of bed. Must have been some vivid dream or something..." Gon looked up at Killua with slight concern then. "Did I kick you or something?"
The beast hunter was wondering why Killua was awake, too, when it was still night. Or, was it? Only when the room was suddenly lit by lightning did he realize the sound of the pelting rain and the rolling of the thunder in the background.
"Oh yeah, right...there was supposed to be bad weather today," Gon mumbled as he got up from the floor.
Stretching languorously, he looked at the clock on the wall. It was eight A.M., so the night was already over, but it was still pretty early for getting up on a vacation day. Gon sat down on the edge of the bed and let himself fall backwards over Killua's legs. He laughed happily and turned onto his side, looking up at his friend from the end of the bed.
"I bet Leorio and Kurapika will sleep in but I'm awake now. At least we can take it slow today. The weather will stay this way until evening, I'd say." Propping his head up with one hand, the beast hunter used the other to nudge Killua's leg even though he already had the other's attention. "Killu~a, since we can't go swimming in the ocean today, can we try out the tub in our bathroom?"
Gon was looking at his friend with big, shiny eyes in his best puppy-dog impression. Of course, he was able to bathe by himself, but he was used to sharing a bath with his best friend, and it was so much more fun that way.
When Gon finally said something, he looked up at Killua in confusion, wondering if he had kicked the silver-haired teen and fell out of bed.
"Uh…no…" Killua answered hesitantly before he realized that he shouldn't tell Gon the real reason as to why he had fallen out of bed. "But you were having a vivid dream and fell out of bed of your own accord."
Gon just took this information in stride before a flash of lightning lit up the room. The young beast hunter glanced towards the balcony door and commented on the weather before he got up, stretched in the most sexiest fashion Killua had ever witnessed, and then promptly fell back onto the bed and onto his legs. The other's body heat met his bare legs, making Killua blush lightly at the feeling. The blush on his face only grew, though, when Gon suggested that they should try out their tub. He knew that Gon and him were overdue for a bath by that point, but the fact that his friend still insisted on bathing together at their age was embarrassing for Killua.
"W-We're not kids anymore, Gon," Killua stuttered out in embarrassment. "You can bathe by yourself."
The look of disappointment on Gon's face had Killua thinking twice about his decision. He hated making Gon upset, but he seriously had so many difficulties when he had to bathe with the other. He could barely keep himself in control of just…touching the other…it was maddening!
"Ugh…fine…let's go," Killua sighed in defeat before he added, "You probably don't understand how to use our tub anyway. I got us a special one."
Gon looked utterly confused at that, but his taller friend got off of his legs so that Killua was able to move. As the blacklist hunter led the way to the bathroom, the silver-haired teen slipped off his tank top. He hadn't changed out of his clothes from yesterday since he had been too tired to. He had even slept with his hair up.
"I know I can, but it's way more fun together," Gon whined when Killua declined to go bathing with him.
He looked very put out and sad at his best friend until the other changed his mind. Gon didn't mind stooping low and using every trick in the book on Killua, because he knew only too well that it would be fun for the other one, too, once he joined him.
At the other's cryptic statement that he wouldn't know how use the tub, Gon was pretty much confused. He wasn't that stupid! And Killua knew that he was able to turn on a tab and how to flush out the water when he was done. So, what was so special about the tub?
The spiky-haired teen totally forgot about his indignation and confusion the next second when Killua walked in front of him and took off his tank top. It certainly wasn't the first time his friend had stripped in his presence, and there was nothing Gon hadn't seen before, but, for some reason, his mouth went pretty dry at the sight. His eyes roamed the muscled back only to cling to the long, shapely neck that was fully exposed for once because of the other's still pinned up hair.
Gon felt the urge to nuzzle that pale stretch of skin, to smell it. He shook his head to clear it of such thoughts. Killua would think he'd gone crazy if he did anything like that! To keep his hands occupied since his mind was acting weird at the moment, he followed his friend's example and took off his shirt, too.
"Say, Killua? What's so special about our tub?" Gon asked his friend as he caught up to him in the bathroom.
Pulling down his sleeping shorts then, he stepped out of them and looked into the tub.
"Oh yeah, right, there are those thingies in there..." He said, remembering to have seen the little protrusions yesterday when he had first looked into the room.
Killua had just entered the bathroom and was in the process of getting out a basin for some warm, soapy water they could wash themselves off with, along with some sponges and towels, when Gon entered and asked about the tub. The former assassin was going to answer, really he was, but as soon as he turned around and he saw Gon in all his naked glory standing before the Jacuzzi and commenting about the jets in it, the ex-assassin was struck speechless. Killua was startled by the sight and ended up dropping all of the things in his hands onto the floor. Really, he wasn't an assassin anymore, but he'd thought that the years of grueling training he had gone through would still let him retain an air of grace and mental stability in the face of every scenario imaginable. Sadly, his parents never taught him how to train for lustful situations or dealing with an oblivious idiot that threw him for a loop every time he talked.
Quickly trying to gather the items he had dropped, Killua was even more flustered when Gon came over to help him and asked if he was okay. Really, how was he supposed to make it through the actual bath if he was already acting this way?!
"I-I'm fine," the young transmuter yelled out in frustration before he grabbed the basin and went over to the Jacuzzi. Killua turned the faucet on the bath and filled the basin with body washing soap as he waited for the water to reach the right temperature. Checking the water with his fingers then, Killua hummed in a pleased fashion, forgetting his troubles with Gon for the moment as he placed the basin underneath the faucet.
"Concerning your earlier question, Gon," Killua commented then as he purposefully avoided eye contact with his friend in fear he'd get another good view of the other's body. "This is a Jacuzzi. It's different from a regular bath because it has pressure jets in it. When the tub is filled with water, you can press a button for the jets, and it will start up and create bubbles. The moving water and the bubbles are supposed to be good for your body and have a massage like effect. Do you understand?"
Killua just so happened to finish filling the basin, so he turned off the water and spared a glance at Gon's face (only his face) to see the other nodding at him with slight uncertainty. Apparently he understood, but the whole idea behind a tub that could actual do that seemed to throw him off.
"Don't worry, it's fun." Killua smiled softly as he placed the basin of soapy water onto the floor and turned back to the tub. "I'll fill the Jacuzzi with some hot water now. It should cool down to a comfortable temperature by the time we're done washing off. Can you fill another basin with warm water to rinse ourselves off with, Gon? You'll have to use the sink, though, but it should be big enough to fit the basin in."
With that, Killua plugged the Jacuzzi and turned the hot water on, letting the tub fill. As it was filling, the former assassin pulled off the rest of his clothes and took out the pins in his hair, letting his silvery locks cascade down past his shoulder blades again.
Instead of an answer, Gon heard loud clanking and clattering. Turning around to Killua, he saw the other had dropped all of their washing utensils. He rushed over to help his friend pick them up.
"Is everything okay?"
Killua usually wasn't the clumsy type; that was more or less himself. His friend assured him, though, that he was fine, albeit a little loudly. Gon shrugged his shoulders as Killua took care of their water.
A moment later, the blacklist hunter finally explained what was so different about this Jacuzzi. Jets that created bubbles? Gon looked at the black protrusions dubiously. Even with the explanation, he couldn't quite figure out how that was supposed to work. Still, he nodded when Killua asked if he understood. He understood the concept at least! He hummed an affirmative then when the other one assured him it would be fun. Gon just believed him. Killua had known him long enough to make such predictions.
He agreed to fill the second basin with clean water, and traveled over to the sink to do so. When he was done and turned around, Killua was naked like himself and his hair was down. For reasons Gon could never explain to himself, he grinned then, dipped his hand in the warm water he was holding, and splashed some at his friend and giggled.
Killua chided him on being such a child, but just as Gon was about to become sober and apologize, he got a wet, soapy sponge right in his face. The raven-haired teen laughed and spluttered at the soapy water that was trying to get into his mouth.
"See? It's much more fun together!" He declared with a grin after a moment.
Using the sponge that had been thrown at him moments before, Gon washed himself down without a care in the world and just enjoyed the company of his best friend. He didn't care if they got too old to bathe together. Who had the right to decide something like that, anyway? Gon liked to share everything with his best friend. And he liked to watch Killua's precise and graceful movements when he washed himself; the movement of his muscles highlighted by the other's shiny, wet skin.
Just when Killua placed his hairpins on the edge of the tub, he felt the splattering of warm water against his skin, and heard a distinctive giggle in the distance. The former assassin just rolled his eyes as he turned towards Gon, one of his hands easily slipping into the basin full of soapy water nearby where he had placed the sponges in.
"How childish, Gon," Killua chided his friend then as he waited for the opportune moment to throw. Just when it looked like Gon was going to apologize, the young transmuter threw the soapy sponge he had in hand directly at the beast hunter's face. Gon just laughed as the sponge hit him directly between the eyes, not mad at all for what had just happened. Killua smiled at that.
"Yeah, yeah," the silver-haired teen tried to mutter off-handedly to his friend's statement as he began to clean himself off with the other sponge. Killua took his time with his task; one reason was because he wanted to think about what he should do for the rest of the day concerning his two oldest friends who were not together yet, and the second reason was because he wanted to postpone the moment he knew that would inevitably come…Gon and him washing each other's backs.
The former assassin just sighed in frustration at that last thought as he tried to wash his own back then. Why couldn't he have been born double jointed in the arms or as an emission user? If he had been, he wouldn't be having this problem right now!
"What are you doing, Killua?" Gon asked his companion, who was looking like he was about to break his arm trying to wash his own back. "I'll do that!"
He had no idea why his friend was set on doing something himself that he always did for him. Was something wrong about the way he did it? Or had he just been to slow in washing himself, so that Killua got impatient and tried to do it himself?
"I like doing it for you," Gon mumbled as he took the sponge from the silver-haired hunter's hand, soaked it anew, and began to wash Killua's back.
"Is something wrong about the way I do it?" Gon asked, but his friend denied it.
He shrugged his shoulders then. Surely it had just been impatience on Killua's part. With that in mind, Gon finished his job as fast as possible to speed things up. Handing over his own sponge, he turned around and waited for Killua to scrub him down.
Even though he always enjoyed getting washed by his friend, Gon made him finish faster than usual so that they could get into the tub. It seemed like Killua could hardly wait any more. When they were all cleaned up, the two of them lowered themselves into the warm water then; a deep sigh escaping the beast hunter's lips.
"Aaaah, this is so nice!"
Gon stretched out in the water, enjoying the relaxing feeling. Only then, he saw the dark spots in the tub again and remembered his and Killua's conversation from earlier.
"Killua? Where is that button you mentioned?"
"Here," the blacklist hunter said with a smirk, hitting it then.
There was kind of a whirring sound, and then five big bubbles floated to the surface, before they popped and sprayed their droplets. The next second, the tub was a churning mess of hundreds of tiny bubbles. Gon shouted out in surprise as bubbles tried to find their way to the surface from beneath a very intimate and sensitive place. Laughing at the funny feeling, he wiggled around a bit until he found a sitting position that wasn't right on top of one of the jets.
"I love this!"
Awed by the Jacuzzi, Gon fiddled around with the jets by holding a finger or a toe over them and wiggled his body around to let the jets get to different areas. After a while, he finally calmed down and relaxed. He wished they could stay in the tub for the whole day. With the weather being so bad that day, it seemed like a nice alternative, although Gon understood they couldn't stay in here for too long. And then there was the other problem.
"Say, Killua? What do we do about Leorio and Kurapika? They seemed very close last night. I think your plans are working, but what can we do today with the weather being so bad?"
Much to Killua's annoyance, he was caught in the act of trying to wash his own back, and Gon came over to him in a huff like he had just wronged him. As the sponge was taken out of his hand the next moment, the former assassin blushed at his friend's words and at the other's touch as Gon began to scrub his back. Killua tried…he really tried not to think about how naked his best friend was, and that he was doing something so intimate with him, but it was practically next to impossible. He just hoped that his lower half wouldn't start to react.
Before the silver-haired teen could think too much on that, Gon actually asked him if he had been trying to wash his own back because he had been doing it wrong all along.
"No, of course not," Killua chastised his friend and at his saddened voice. Who would have thought that Gon liked washing his back that much?
It seemed that Gon believed his answer, because he didn't say anything back but, at the same time, he also finished washing his back extra quickly. Killua was a little confused by this, and wondering if he should be concerned about possibly upsetting his friend, but Gon just insisted that Killua should wash his back fast so that they could try out the tub.
Finally understanding then, the young transmuter did as his friend asked and washed his back as fast as possible. It wasn't like Killua was going to say no! The quicker he got done washing Gon's back, the less time he would waste in admiring the other's well-endowed muscles beneath his hands, and the less chances he'd have at becoming aroused.
With their backs now clean, the two of them rinsed off with some warm water from the other basin before they finally settled down into the tub, the warm water enveloping them. Despite how fast they had cleaned themselves, the water temperature was just right!
Before Killua could relax too much, though, Gon asked about the button for the jets. The former assassin smiled mischievously then as he told his friend where it was and pressed the button. In the next few seconds, the water within the tub was bubbling and turning around them, surprising Gon from his sitting position. Killua laughed at the fact that Gon had actually been sitting in front of one of the jets, and could only imagine what that felt like. Despite the enhancer's earlier surprise, though, he laughed like a little kid and played with the jets using his toes and fingers to block the air pressure. Killua just watched on in honest amusement until his taller friend finally calmed down.
As the two of them began to relax again, the turning water soothing their bodies, Gon asked a question that Killua wasn't sure if he had a full answer to. He had been thinking hard about the problem at hand, but the fact remained that he had to get a little more information before he'd be sure enough to go through with his plans.
"Yeah, they seem to be hitting it off better, at least," Killua agreed with a thoughtful frown as he considered the problems ahead of them. "That doesn't mean that it will be any easier to get them together, though. I've been thinking about what to do today, but it's really hard to think of a complete plan when we're limited in what we can actually do. I was at least thinking of playing a long game of Truth or Dare, where we can try to get one of them to kiss the other or something, but I don't think the two of them would be willing to play that game right off the bat, you know? We need something else in order to ease them into playing it…maybe another game? But what should that other game be?!"
Killua just sighed in frustration as he leaned his head back against the rim of the tub. Another idea came to mind then, but he still wasn't completely sold on it.
"I know that some hotels have board games and things that the customers can borrow," the silver-haired teen thought out loud then. "Since this is a four-star hotel, they'd definitely have something…maybe if we checked into what kind of games they had, we could come up with a better plan?"
"But...but they were so friendly last night," Gon said, a little put out.
To him it really looked like their friends were getting along much better. They had to be on their way to getting as close as he was with Killua, right? But his friend seemed to be doubtful about it still. The other's idea, though, threw Gon off.
"Didn't you say they had to be alone for things like kissing?" He asked, wide-eyed then. Remembering his own kiss with Killua on the Ferris Wheel, Gon was pretty sure he didn't want anyone else to be around for that. "We might get Leorio to go along if we dare him enough, but Kurapika will never ever play that game, uh-uh." He shook his head vehemently to show how sure he was of that.
Killua, though, said that they would need some other game or something to get them into a playing mood. While Gon tried to rack his brain for an idea for another game, Killua just said they should check the hotel if they had some.
"A board game?!" The beast hunter whined loudly. "They're no fun at all! You have to think too much. Can't we do something more...physical?"
There were times during their jobs where they had to wait for people or developments, and there would be nothing to do but to sit around. For a short time, Killua had tried to get Gon into board games, but to him they were arduous and boring. He had to keep stupid rules in mind and use some strategy for most of them. If it were real, easy rules, and depended mostly on luck of the draw or roll of the dice, he could bear it, but he wasn't too happy about the sitting-down-at-the-table part of those games, either. He wasn't good at keeping still for too long. That's why he liked outdoor games like playing Catch or Hide and Go Seek much more. Truth or Dare was okay, since he usually got to move when he chose dare; which Gon chose often.
Realizing that Killua was looking at him in a very funny way, the young hunter conceded, "Aaaah, if it absolutely has to be a board game, I'll play along..." He didn't want to ruin his best friend's plans, especially since he wouldn't be able to come up with a better one anyway. "But can you please choose something...easy?" Gon asked with a sigh.
When Gon whined at his mention of a board game, Killua felt irritation begin to boil underneath his skin. He knew that Gon never liked to sit idle, or be forced to think up a strategy for a game (he was more of a think-on-your-feet kind of guy but, really, what other choice did they have? What else could they do inside the hotel that would actually help them progress Kurapika and Leorio's relationship? He knew that the hotel had a restaurant, a workout room, and a large pool, but he couldn't think of ways that those things could help with Leorio and Kurapika getting together. It wasn't like they could come up with a way to ditch their friends at the restaurant again (besides, it was overpriced food, and Leorio wouldn't stand for that), he couldn't think of a way to get them into a romantic situation in the workout room, and he didn't think Leorio and Kurapika would want to go in the pool, since pools were aimed more towards kids. So really, all that he had left to work with were board games, whatever the heck he could come up with besides that was interactive (like Truth or Dare), and the T. V. Yeah…that wasn't much.
It was then that Gon asked for their entertainment to be physical in some way. The former assassin just stared at his friend, wondering if the beast hunter realized how he had just sounded. It really sounded like Gon was asking for sex!
Killua shook his head to clear his thoughts then. The last thing he needed to be thinking about was Gon and sex.
Speaking of his spiky-haired friend, Gon whined in reluctant defeat then as he admitted that he'd play a board game if he had to, and then he had the gall to ask him to pick out a game that was 'easy' for him to understand. That was kind of hard to do, since he had no idea what board games the hotel even had!
"Oh sure, Gon, I'm so sorry I have to subject you to a horrible board game, but I'll try my best to make sure that you're absolutely comfortable with it and that it's easy for you to understand," Killua growled out sarcastically before he spat at the other in frustration. "It's not like I actually have the power to grant that request, since I don't know what games this place actually has! If you don't like our options then that's too damn bad and you can do whatever the hell you want while I try and get Leorio and Kurapika together all by myself! I don't see you coming up with any better ideas, Idiot!"
With an angered huff, Killua stood up and started to climb out of the tub. If Gon was going to give him attitude about things he had no control over, then he wasn't going to put up with it. The other had no right to complain like the idea he suggested was horrible just because he didn't like it. The last time he checked, Gon and him were supposed to be doing this for their friends' sakes, and not worrying about their own comfort. If Gon was going to be a party pooper while they played the board game and ended up ruining the mood, then he didn't want the other even trying to bother!
Gon looked wide-eyed at his best friend as he suddenly exploded in his face. He had no idea where Killua's frustrations with him suddenly came from, but he felt bad about them, especially when the other said he would take care of Leorio and Kurapika himself. The blacklist hunter threw the argument at him that he hadn't come up with any better ideas himself, and Gon felt even guiltier. The worst moment came, though, when Killua suddenly stood up and tried to climb out of the tub.
"Waaah, Killua! I'm sorry! I didn't mean it like that!"
The next second, Gon was up and behind his friend, wrapping his arm around his waist to keep him from leaving.
"Please, Killua! Don't leave! I'm sorry! You're right, of course. I don't have a better plan. I'll do anything you want me to." The body he was holding felt absolutely rigid in his grip. Unsure whether Killua was even angrier at him now, Gon loosened his hold just a bit to give the other one a little more space, but not enough to let him escape. "I didn't mean to make you frustrated or...or angry. I'm sorry. But please, please stay, Killua," he apologized again and begged his friend. "If you think a board game will help Leorio and Kurapika out, I'll play it. I will do anything you say, but please don't be mad at me."
In a tight voice, Killua told him to let go then. Gon felt his stomach drop and a sad look came over his face. He let go of the blacklist hunter and stepped back, dropping down to his former place in the tub. With some surprise, he watched his friend sit back down, too. Killua's face was hidden by his bangs once more, so he was surely still mad, but at least he had stayed.
"Thanks," Gon mumbled.
He looked at the bubbling, churning water, unsure of what to say then. He was just glad Killua had stayed, but of course the air was awkward between them now. Gon tried smiling sheepishly at his friend.
"Forgive me?" He asked hopefully. "I reeeeeeally want to hear your plans," Gon begged, hoping that would start up the conversation again and dissipate the awkwardness between them.
Just when Killua was about to climb out of the tub, he heard Gon beg for him to stay before two arms wrapped around his waist. Startled by the bare-skin-on-skin touch, Killua went completely rigid as Gon started apologizing a mile a minute, seemingly oblivious to the position the both of them were in.
The former assassin was slightly relieved when Gon's hold loosened a bit, but the fact that the other was still behind him, that Gon's privates were practically against his skin, had the poor teen's mind reeling. He barely even heard the rest of his friend's words, but Killua knew just from the tone of voice that Gon was begging him to stay.
"Let go, Gon," Killua spoke in a tightly restrained voice, hoping against hope that the other would heed his words. Thankfully, Gon's body heat left him and he heard the other sit down behind him. With his bangs covering his face, and having no idea why he was giving Gon what he wanted even though Killua wanted nothing more than to run away and hide by that point, the former assassin sat back down. There was a tense silence then as the two of them just sat there and stared at the turning water. Killua was just surprised that he wasn't aroused by that point in time. He wondered if it had anything to do with the fact that he had been so surprised that his body didn't even know what to do.
When Gon asked for his forgiveness then, and asked him to tell him his plans, Killua just huffed with a roll of his eyes, before he hid them behind his bangs again.
"I already told you my ideas for today…I really don't have much to work with…" Killua muttered out a few seconds later, his mood far from being bright and cheery. "Actually, I think there is one board game that will fit our situation the best…in fact, it's not really a literal board game. Have you heard of the game, Twister?"
It was then that Killua had the courage to look at his friend again.
"Twister is a game where the board you play on is actually a plastic tarp with a bunch of different colored circles," he explained then. "There is one person who uses a spinner and tells the other people playing where to put their hands and feet on what colored circle. People lose if they fall over on the board...but don't worry, you'll understand better if you played the game yourself. If the hotel actually has that game, I could be the person who spins, and cheat in a sense so that Leorio and Kurapika will get into really compromising positions only couples get into…"
Killua seemed to be pretty annoyed at him still. Gon's hopeful smile turned into a sad expression again. Of course he was glad his friend had stayed, but he wanted him to forgive him and for things to be good between them! At least Killua talked and asked him then about a game.
"No. What's it like?" Gon shook his head as his friend finally looked at him again.
Even though the young beast hunter wasn't too sure about the details, he thought he understood the concept. His face lit up.
"Doesn't that mean we get to move? It's not one of the boring games, where you have to sit down at a table for a long period of time? I like it already! I bet it's great for flexibility, too. Kurapika should love that a lot. Let's hope they have it here!"
Gon was pretty enthusiastic again. It sounded like a game he could actually enjoy, too. Just like what he had hoped. And if the hotel didn't have it, he would be willing to run through the storm and try to buy it at that store where they got the cards yesterday, too. Before he could suggest this, though, something caught his attention again.
"Killua...what do you mean compromising positions only couples get into? What's that?" His face was all scrunched up as he sounded out the words he had never used himself, because he didn't really understand them.
Killua sighed in relief at Gon's enthusiasm. At least his friend seemed to like the idea of the game he suggested, but now that he got the idea into Gon's head, Killua wondered if he'd go out in the rain and buy the game if the hotel didn't have it. The thought of going outside in the storm didn't sound appealing at all…
Before the former assassin could think too much on this, though, his spiky-haired companion asked him something that had the silver-haired teen bristling like a surprised cat.
"Damn it, Gon!" Killua shouted out directly into his friend's face, his tone completely flustered, and his face covered in scarlet from embarrassment. "I mean intimate positions, idiot! Sexual positions! Damn it!"
And, with that said, Killua really did flee from the bathtub. He couldn't take being in his taller friend's presence any longer, especially since he was beyond uncomfortable by that point in time. There was too much sexual tension knotting up in his stomach, and Gon just kept adding fuel to the fire like an oblivious child!
Killua heard Gon calling after him but he didn't pay his friend any heed as he got out of the tub, grabbed the nearest towel, quickly dried himself, and then rushed out of the bathroom door to put on some new clothes.
For some reason Gon didn't understand, Killua shouted at him then. His face was red in anger as he called him an idiot. The beast hunter blinked at the other one with a distraught expression. This time his stupidity had finally made Killua leave, and Gon didn't have the heart to try to physically stop the other again.
"Killua, I'm sorry...I don't...I didn't...I really don't..." He really didn't know what to say, and it was of no use anyway, since the silver-haired hunter never looked back at him to listen anyway.
Biting his lower lip, Gon pulled his knees up and wrapped his arms around them. Why couldn't he be smarter? Why did he always have to ask about things? But if he didn't understand something, he had to ask about it, right? Still, asking questions was annoying Killua and driving him away now. Gon shivered at the thought of Killua leaving him, because he was just too stupid to be his partner anymore.
The young beast hunter tried to understand what his friend had been telling him. He could see how it might be considered funny to get two men into the sexual positions of a man and woman, but how was that supposed to get them to become closer? By laughing together about the silly game? People did get closer by sharing similarities, like a sense of humor, but Gon was still pretty sure that he was on the wrong track. That's why he had asked about it, and Killua would usually explain things to him in a way he understood them, but...but his friend was finally fed up with that, it seemed.
A sad sigh left the beast hunter. This vacation was supposed to be fun, but, for some reason, it hadn't turned out that way for him so far. Gon scooted around the tub until he found the button to turn the jets off. Now that he was alone in the tub, even the bubbles weren't fun anymore.
For a while, he stayed in the water, giving his friend some time and space. When he finally left the tub, he wrapped a towel around him and peaked out from the bathroom door to try and see what mood his friend was in by then.
"Can...can I come out?" He asked carefully.
Killua was thankful that Gon hadn't followed him out into the bedroom so that he could dress in peace without feeling too self-conscious about himself. He was still so highly aware of the other's presence, even though a full room separated them now. Why did Gon have to be so oblivious to their situation? How could the other just think of them as friends when they did things at their age that normal friends wouldn't do?!
The former assassin cursed under his breath in frustration as he finished dressing and tied his hair into a low ponytail again. Just as he did this, he heard Gon's voice speaking tentatively from the bathroom. Taking a deep breath, Killua turned around to see his best friend's head peeking out from behind the bathroom door uncertainly, his eyes shining with remorse and confusion. The silver-haired hunter felt awful then. He had hurt his friend's feelings because he couldn't control his own.
"Yeah, you can come out," Killua muttered as he looked away from Gon. He knew that his friend was only wearing a towel, and he really didn't want to temp himself with the sight, especially since he was still wound up from their situation in the bathroom. "I'm sorry, Gon, I'm just so frustrated with Kurapika and Leorio," he half lied then. "It's not right for me to take my frustrations out on you, so I'm sorry."
Killua heard his spiky-haired friend getting dressed behind him then, and it took all of the transmuter's self-control to not turn around and take in the sight. So, in order to distract himself, Killua began talking again.
"I was thinking of going down to get some breakfast, and then checking at the front desk if they have that Twister game. If they do have it, I was thinking that we can just hide it in our room and go and hang out with Leorio and Kurapika for a bit. Something tells me that they wouldn't want to start playing a physical game like that so early in the morning. Maybe we should play it an hour or so after lunch? Then maybe we can play truth or dare after it?"
Killua didn't sound too happy when he answered, but at least he wasn't shouting at him anymore and allowed him to enter the room. Gon moved as inconspicuously as he could, keeping quiet and his aura wrapped as tightly around himself as he could without erasing it with zetsu. He tried to do everything in his power not to annoy his friend again.
When the other one apologized to him, Gon's face scrunched up with doubt. Even though he believed Killua was frustrated about the other two, he was pretty sure his shouting had had nothing to do with that fact. The other one wasn't telling the truth, but Gon was pretty sure he knew why. Killua didn't want to hurt him more by telling him outright how stupid he was and that exact fact was finally driving him insane. Knowing this, Gon just couldn't answer anything in return to the other's apology; he just got dressed in green shorts and a blue shirt.
As he sat down on the bed to pull on some socks, Killua told him about his plans. Gon was still a little unsure on how his friend felt about him now. Still, he turned around to try and face him, but Killua was pointedly looking away from him.
"Ehm...is...is it okay if I join you for breakfast?" Gon asked his silver-haired companion, who finally looked at him surprised then. "Aaah, if you want to eat alone, I understand! I can wait, or eat at another table or something," he offered, flustered.
Killua huffed then, shook his head and told him it was okay if he came along. Gon felt very relieved about that, even though he was still pretty self-conscious and tried his best not to act stupid again.
"I think playing the game in the afternoon makes sense. There are a few shops down by the lobby of the hotel. I bet I can get a post card there to send home. We could check them out after breakfast. Maybe Leorio and Kurapika will come along. Oh! Do you think we should ask the others to join us for breakfast?" He asked then.
Since they were on this vacation together it was only natural to eat their meals together as well, wasn't it?
The first words that came out of Gon's mouth after Killua had told him of his plans, shocked the silver-haired teen. Gon was asking if it was actually okay to eat breakfast with him! Killua just stared at the dark-haired teen in surprise as Gon got flustered and tried to say that he could eat at another table if he was uncomfortable.
Huffing at the other in disbelief, Killua firmly stated, "No, Gon, of course it's okay to sit by me! I'm not angry with you!"
The smaller teen almost admonished himself for sounding angry after he had spoken. He wasn't sure if Gon would actually believe him now.
Thankfully, Gon seemed to be relieved by his words, because he agreed with Killua's earlier plans and to eating breakfast together. He even stated that they could check out the gift shops downstairs to buy them some time before lunch. The beast hunter then asked if they should ask Kurapika and Leorio to breakfast shortly after his previous idea. Even though there wasn't anything he had planned for the other two, it would still be wrong of him to not invite the others and hang out with them, so Killua agreed to Gon's suggestions. Who knew, maybe Leorio and Kurapika would grow closer without his meddling. Killua would just have to see then.
As lightning flashed across the sky, illuminating the room in a harsh, stark light, and a crack of thunder resounded throughout the room, Kurapika awoke with a scream. There were beads of sweat on his forehead, and his heart was racing like he had just run a marathon. Panting heavily, images of his nightmare flashed before his open eyes. It was the same nightmare that had been haunting him frequently since the massacre of his clan. His friends and family were surrounding him, never leaving him with a way to escape as they closed in. And then he would see the black, bloody holes they had for eyes, and they would ask why he had survived, and why he still had his eyes, before they would call him a traitor.
Kurapika was shaking badly as he blinked in the half-dark room. Rubbing his face, he tried to get a hold of himself. He knew the dream; knew it wasn't real. His family and friends had loved him, they would never hold it against him that he escaped. It had been mere chance that he had left their village when he had. Most people would call it luck, but Kurapika had never felt especially lucky about it. The weight of the survivor's guilt was a cross he was bearing every day, and it hadn't gotten any lighter with the passing years. Even killing one of the people responsible for the massacre had not lifted the burden one tiny bit. In fact, quite the opposite had happened; it was a weight all its own upon his heart.
Still caught up in the last tendrils of his nightmare, and not quite fully awake, the Kurta winced as another flash of lightning suddenly lit up the room, and made every shadow within appear looming and threatening.
Leorio awoke with a start as thunder rang throughout the hotel room. The doctor sat up groggily and rubbed his eyes. What time was it?
Looking at the clock on the bedside table, the taller man was able to see that it was just after eight in the morning. Man it was too early!
The older man had every intention to go back to sleep, but another noise caught his attention. He heard heavy breathing beside him over the pounding rain and thunder outside, and as he turned around, he took in the sight of Kurapika curled into himself under the covers, his form shaking.
"Kurapika?" Leorio asked tentatively as he gently touched the other's quivering shoulder. The sudden touch startled his Kurta friend so badly, though, that Kurapika dug his fingers into his hand and jumped up into a sitting position the next second, his eyes staring wildly into Leorio's brown, the other's eyes glowing a startling red. The young doctor just stared in paralyzed horror at the sudden sight in front of him before he realized what was going on. Kurapika was terrified about something; not the thunder, because he had been with Kurapika when it was storming out before, and the other had shown no fear of it. No, something was definitely wrong.
"Shh, Kurapika, it's alright," Leorio shushed soothingly as he took his free hand (Kurapika was still clutching onto his other one for dear life) and gently stroked the other's cheek, a little unsure of what else to do in the situation. "I don't know what happened but there's no need to be afraid, okay?"
When something suddenly touched him, Kurapika instinctively clawed at it. He shot up straight, his trained body getting ready to defend itself even if his mind hadn't caught up to the situation yet. Wide-eyed, Kurapika stared at the person who had touched him without actually seeing at first. He was still haunted by his dream, and sure that one of his sightless clansmen wanted to gouge out his eyes and finally make him one of them again.
At that moment, Leorio softly spoke to him. His voice was warm and low and caring. Somebody with a voice like that surely didn't want to hurt him. Kurapika was touched very tenderly then and told that there was nothing to be afraid of. A sob was suddenly torn from the depth of his soul at the other's words, and he slapped both hands over his mouth to keep more from coming.
Kurapika was finally able to separate dream from reality then, and actually saw the eyes that looked at him with the utmost concern. He realized the state he was in, and that Leorio was witness to something so deeply personal. The Kurta had managed to hide his haunting nightmares and the pathetic state they put him in from everyone else, even his friends, until now. But no matter how embarrassing it would be later, right now, Kurapika couldn't stop his shivering, his panting breath, and the fear and pain that still gripped his heart.
At a loss as to how else to console him, Leorio just wrapped his long arms around him, pulling him against his chest. The proud, strong, independent Kurta just couldn't help himself at that moment. He let go. He buried his face against the strong shoulder, let himself get pressed against the warm, firm body. A spicy and musky smell filled his nostrils as he shivered in Leorio's embrace.
He had always had to fight the fear his nightmares caused him alone. Kurapika wasn't used to having somebody around, somebody compassionate to hold him and comfort him. It felt so incredibly good, yet, for some reason that Kurapika couldn't quite fathom himself, it brought tears to his eyes at the same time. His face pressed against the crook of the doctor's neck, and he wept silently then.
It took the Kurta a few minutes to finally calm down. Slowly, his ragged breathing evened out, and his heart-rate dropped to a normal pace. When he finally looked up and blinked his wet eyes at Leorio again, their color had reverted to normal.
"I...I'm sorry...and...and...thanks," Kurapika stuttered out with a voice raw with emotion.
A wracking sob escaped Kurapika's lips then as Leorio watched his friend cover his mouth to hide whatever sounds he might make next. He stared into the Kurta's glowing eyes, saw the fear and shame that consumed his friend, and noticed how his body continued to shake from the sorrow that was overtaking him. Not knowing what else to do, but wanting nothing more than to help the other, Leorio slowly brought Kurapika into a hug. His blond-haired friend buried his face into the crook of his neck, bare skin touching skin as the young doctor remembered that he had only gone to bed with a pair of sweatpants on (he liked to sleep shirtless if given the chance). A light blush came onto the taller man's cheek at the contact, and his stomach twisted in a weird way as well.
Feeling wet tears hit his skin a few seconds later, though, Leorio just shook his head to clear his thoughts. Now was not the time to be wondering about the weird feelings this situation produced in him, but to help Kurapika! With nothing else in mind, Leorio just held the other against him and rubbed soothing circles into the Kurta's back, letting him cry onto his shoulder until he could calm down.
Leorio knew that Kurapika was calming down a few minutes later when he heard his breathing start to even out, and felt the other's heart beat against his chest in a calmer rhythm. Just to make sure, the young doctor kept an eye on the clock nearby as he took note of Kurapika's heart rate. His friend did seem to be going back to normal, but Leorio still wasn't sure if his friend was out of the woods yet.
The emission user got his answer the next moment when Kurapika lifted his head away from his neck to look up at him. Leorio saw how his friend's eyes had reverted back to their normal brown color, but the emotions that were there before were still present, if only a little muted. Kurapika thanked him then, his voice raw from his emotional episode and the millions of other emotions he seemed to be feeling. Leorio wanted nothing more than to ask the conjurer why he was so upset in the first place, but his gut told him to hold his tongue then. Something told him that it was a really personal issue, and that he had tread enough into Kurapika's personal territory over the past two days.
With worry shining in his own brown orbs, Leorio continued to rub circles into Kurapika's back, but brought his other hand up to wipe away the stray tear that had fallen from the other's wet eyes. It was obvious that Kurapika was still shaken over what had upset him, and it would take some time for him to calm down some more.
"You don't have to thank me," the young doctor stated seriously as he stared into Kurapika's eyes, his hand now resting against the Kurta's cheek. "This is the least that a friend could do. It's obvious that you're still a little shaken, so I'm going to run you a warm bath, okay? Even though it's still early, I don't think either of us is going back to bed any time soon."
Leorio let a light chuckle out then to try and ease the mood, and he was thankful that Kurapika seemed willing enough to let him take care of him.
"Don't worry, I have just the treat to make you feel better," the young doctor commented with a light smile. "And you're going to go through with this no matter what. Doctor's orders."
With a joking smile on his face, he reluctantly let Kurapika go and went into the bathroom to start up the bath. He ran the water until it was lukewarm, and then plugged the tub. While it was filling, Leorio then went out to his medical brief case and searched around it until he retrieved a bottle of lavender oil. He had bought the oil specifically for Kurapika, in case his friend was still stressed from work when he met up with him. Usually, since he was a doctor, pills for stress was something he would normally prescribe, but he understood the soothing effects that aromatherapy had on people, and since Kurapika grew up in a culture that revolved around homemade herbal medicines, he felt that his friend would respond better to an organic made oil and a warm bath than any pill he ever gave him.
The lavender oil bottle now in hand, Leorio returned to the bathroom and dripped the required amount of the oil into the bath, the scent of lavender filling the bathroom. Smiling proudly to himself, the young doctor turned off the water and returned to the bedroom to see Kurapika staring out at the balcony, his eyes distant, as if he couldn't even see the hard rain pelting against the glass.
Feeling worry bubble up inside him again, Leorio made his way over to his friend and placed his hand gently onto the other's shoulder as he sat beside him on the bed.
"Hey, Kurapika, your bath is ready," the taller man spoke soothingly as he squeezed the other's shoulder in reassurance. "You go and take a long bath and I'll order some breakfast for us, how does that sound?"
Leorio softly rubbed his back, comforting in the same way that Kurapika just barely remembered his parents doing for him. The doctor then wiped at a tear running down his cheek, told him there was no need to thank him, and that he should take a bath to calm down some more. Actually, that idea sounded wonderful. It felt so different having someone around who cared about him for once. He was so used to dealing with things by himself. This felt weird, but nice. Very nice.
"That sounds...good," Kurapika answered slowly, unsure on how to express his gratitude. "O-Okay, if you say so."
The young Kurta was a little confused at the doctor's insistence. He intended to go along with whatever the other had in mind at the moment. It just felt so nice to be taken care of. He had to stifle a sad sigh, though, when Leorio extracted his presence from him. This sentiment made the Kurta surprised at himself. Since when was he the clingy type? He was used to being alone, but Leorio's care and...Leorio himself felt just too good to let go of at the moment.
He suddenly heard the rushing of water and, a moment later, the doctor was back in the room, rummaging around in his brief case. Kurapika followed his friend with his eyes, wondering about his care. He was a doctor, after all, so to Leorio this was...normal. He had taken good care of Killua yesterday, too.
Kurapika stared at the dark, churning clouds outside without really seeing them as he reminded himself that they were just friends, that Leorio took care of him like he would with Gon and Killua, too. There was nothing special about it; except for the way it felt to himself. But that could never change the fact that his feelings differed so very much from those of his friend.
He flinched slightly when Leorio suddenly touched him out of the blue. He had been so lost in his thoughts that he had not noticed the doctor getting close again. His eyes were wide with his surprise when he looked up.
"Hm? Oh...yes, that...that sounds good. Can...can you order some tea for me? I don't think coffee would be the best right now."
Rubbing his face, Kurapika worked up the energy to leave the warm bed and Leorio's reassuring presence in order to head for the bath. When he entered the room, a warm, comforting smell filled his nostrils. He took a deep breath and felt a cooling, calming wave roll through his body.
"That was a very nice idea, Leorio," he said softly to himself.
Taking off his wide sleep shirt and his comfortable sleeping shorts, Kurapika slipped into the warm tub without further ado. A long, deep sigh left his lips when the warmth of the water and the comforting smell of lavender wrapped around him.
Kurapika had seemed very distracted, and had even flinched at his touch when Leorio had come to get him for his bath. The young doctor stared at his blond friend in worry as Kurapika agreed to go and take a bath and asked him to order tea for breakfast instead of coffee.
"Of course," Leorio uttered with a reassuring smile. "I was planning on doing that, so don't worry and leave everything to me."
The taller man watched as Kurapika rubbed at his face a bit before he slowly got out of bed and headed towards the bathroom. Leorio took the other's silence as a form of trust then and just headed over to the bedside table where the phone and the menu for room service were.
As he stared down at the menu and read over its contents, Leorio wondered on the best course of action for breakfast food, and for the choice of tea. He didn't want something too heavy for Kurapika to eat, just in case the lavender aromatherapy didn't work out completely for him, but he wanted something warm and soothing, and also full of nutrition to start off the other's day right. Also, concerning the tea, he wanted to make sure that it would be the type that Kurapika would like. Leorio had no idea what type of tea the Kurta preferred, since he had never asked, nor had he taken notice. So, just to be on the safe side, he decided to order chamomile tea.
After the beverage was decided on, Leorio quickly narrowed his breakfast choices down until he found the one that suited his needs best. Hopefully, Kurapika would like it. Warm, homemade oatmeal mixed with cinnamon sugar and apple slices sounded very good…but just to be safe, maybe he should get a bowl of varied fruit on the side?
Nodding his head in determination then, Leorio made the call and placed his order for two bowls of the apple cinnamon oatmeal, a large bowl of fruit for both him and Kurapika to share, and a pot of chamomile tea.
After the order was placed, the young doctor turned on the T. V. in order to see how bad the weather was outside. He didn't hear thunder anymore, but the rain still sounded pretty heavy. It was just when he learned that it was supposed to be raining and storming out all day that he got the knock on the door for room service. Well that was fast!
"Here you go, sir," the waiter outside said with a smile as he handed the large tray to the young doctor. "We just got done making the oatmeal for the breakfast buffet when you called, so it took the kitchen staff no time at all to put your order together."
"Wow, thank you!" Leorio exclaimed happily as the waiter bowed and made his way back down the hall. The young doctor stared down at the breakfast tray he carried. There was a teapot and two cups on the tray, along with two covered bowls of oatmeal in order to keep it warm for as long as possible, and also a medium-sized bowl filled with oranges, bananas, and various berries. Everything looked and smelled delicious!
Turning back into the room, Leorio closed the door behind him with his foot and carried his tray of goodies over to the table in the room. The taller man was just thinking of whether he should keep the T. V. on or not when he heard the door to the bathroom open. Leorio turned around then to see Kurapika come out wearing only a towel around his waist as he rubbed a second towel through his hair. The young doctor didn't know why, but he felt his breath practically leave his lungs at the sight.
"U-Um…" Leorio started out stupidly before he shook his head to reboot his brain and start over again. He blamed the weird occurrence he had just experienced on him being up too early after a long day. "Hey, you're just in time for breakfast, Kurapika!" Leorio started again with a smile as he saw his friend riffle through his bag for some clothes. "I hope you don't mind what I got you. How does apple cinnamon oatmeal sound? I heard the hotel here makes the stuff from scratch! But just in case you don't want that, I got us a bowl of fruit, too. Oh, and I hope you also don't mind that I got us some chamomile tea. I wasn't sure what flavor you usually like…"
Leorio rubbed his head sheepishly then as he realized that he had been rambling. Was he a little flustered by Kurapika's appearance at the moment? But why would he be? He'd seen the other in only a towel before…
The soothing fragrance of the lavender helped the blond hunter to unwind. Although he could never forget his recurring nightmare, its horror faded into the background. With his eyes closed, Kurapika lay in the tub and relaxed until he almost felt sleepy again. Realizing it was high time to get out, he sat up and washed himself before climbing out of the tub a few moments later.
Kurapika realized only then that he had forgotten to take some fresh clothes along into the bathroom, so he wrapped one towel around his waist and used another to dry his upper body and hair. Still toweling down his hair, he walked into the bedroom to get some fresh clothes.
He noticed the T.V. was turned to the weather channel when Leorio told him he was just on time for their breakfast. The doctor seemed a little flustered as he told him about his choices for food. Most likely he was still concerned about his mental state and didn't want to upset him in any way. Even though it had felt good to be held and soothed, Kurapika still didn't like the fact that Leorio had seen him in such a weak state.
"Oatmeal sounds good, and fruit even more. Thanks. Just give me a moment," the Kurta said as relaxed as possible. He didn't want the doctor to believe he was mentally unstable or anything. The bath and the aroma oil had done their job, and he was back to normal now. Putting the loose towel around his neck, he got a set of clothes from his bag and went back to the bathroom.
In his usual clan attire now, he returned to the main room where Leorio had set their table.
"This looks really good. Thank you, Leorio," Kurapika said as he sat down. He looked at the other man then, into his dark, chocolate eyes. A soft blush suddenly dusted the Kurta's cheeks. "I'm sorry my...problem woke you up. Also, I want to thank you for what you've done. I feel much better now. Don't worry about me anymore, please." He looked intensely at the other man, trying to show him that he was anything but weak.
When Kurapika sounded happy about the food, Leorio couldn't have been more relieved. Just the thought that he hadn't messed up and made his shorter friend mad at him put him on cloud nine. Maybe his luck with the other was finally turning around?
As Kurapika went back to the bathroom to get dressed, the young doctor decided to set up the table. He placed one bowl of oatmeal on each end of the table along with their silverware, and their bowl of fruit in the middle. Leorio then placed two tea teacups near the two bowls of warm food, and poured him and Kurpika some tea. By the time he was finished, the Kurta had rejoined him, fully dressed, and the two of them sat down for breakfast.
Before Leorio could dig into his food, though, Kurapika's eyes caught his. The young doctor just stared at the other, transfixed by the look in his friend's eyes. He didn't know why the other's stare was captivating him, or that the other's light blush was making him blush slightly in turn, but when Leorio found out why Kurapika was bringing up his earlier episode again through the intensity of the other's gaze, the taller man couldn't stop himself from chuckling slightly. Kurapika was too prideful for his own good sometimes…okay, actually, most of the time, but still…
"I'm sorry, Kurapika, but I can't do that," Leorio said with an amused smile as he grabbed his spoon and started stirring his oatmeal. "It's impossible for me to not worry about you. I can't tell you a single moment when I haven't been worried sick about you, actually, so I don't think I can just stop caring now because you don't want me to."
The young doctor just sighed then as he forgot about eating for the moment in favor of sharing some things with his friend. It was obvious that Kurapika wasn't going to be too happy about the fact that he had just denied his request.
"Look, Kurapika, I know why you're doing this," the older man spoke seriously then as he stared intently into the Kurta's unsatisfied eyes. "Really, it's not a crime to have a friend help you in a time of need. It's impossible for a single human to carry so much…emotional baggage with them without relying on another person…People who try to do that…who try to go at things alone…end up hurting themselves more in the process until they finally snap…Humans are social creatures, Kurapika, and that's why we need the company of another in order to keep ourselves sane, to let our guards down around in order to relax and feel at ease. Every single person on this earth has a weakness and is vulnerable at one point in their life at least, so there's no shame in showing that weakness. You are the strongest person I know, Kurapika. There are plenty of people who, if they were in your shoes, would have…gone insane, or maybe have even…killed themselves by this point…" Leorio choked out then at the thought, hating the images that came into his head. "…but you've persevered through all the obstacles that you have faced, your emotional turmoil, your inner demons…but you have to understand that you can only do so much on your own, so please…" the rookie doctor pleaded then as he reached forward and took one of Kurapika's hands in his. "…don't be ashamed of what happened earlier. I'm…I'm glad that I was able to help you…that I was actually of some use to you…most of the time, I wonder if I get in the way more than anything else..."
Leorio averted his gaze down towards the table then as he laughed out a little nervously at his confession. He was making himself vulnerable before his friend as well, so he hoped that Kurapika understood what he was trying to say and actually put his pride on hold for once.
When the taller man started to chuckle, Kurapika was surprised at first but then he became angry. He was serious. Why was it a laughing matter to Leorio? The doctor's next explanation stumped the Kurta, though. Why was Leorio worrying about him in the first place? And how was this funny at all?
Even though the food smelled delicious and the fruits looked ripe and juicy, Kurapika ignored them as the doctor explained his thoughts some more. The Kurta swallowed roughly at what he heard. The words were stirring up mixed emotions that mirrored in his eyes. Of course Kurapika knew that relying on friends eased one's own troubles, but how could he ask anyone to help him out with his own burden? He had relied on the other's in York New City and not only put them in danger but nearly got them killed. And as for sharing his feelings, how could anyone ever understand? He was alone; the last one of his clan. There was no one who could understand that pain.
Leorio tried to tell him that everyone was weak once in a while, but Kurapika knew he couldn't allow himself that luxury. It had been a mistake to do so today, but the circumstances of sharing a room with Leorio and the severe weather were to blame for that, he told himself. In his usual life he slept alone, so there was no one to witness his nightmares.
Kurapika was very surprised, though, when the doctor told him that he was the strongest person he knew. Even after what had happened this morning? The blacklist hunter felt kind of grateful that Leorio didn't let this one weak moment change his opinion of him. What surprised him even more, though, was the doctor's admittance to how useless he sometimes felt.
"You're not, Leorio. Don't ever think that," Kurapika told his taller friend, who had averted his gaze and had tried to play down his confession with a nervous laugh. "You are a good...a very good friend. I told you so before. You are honest, even to a fault. You rather bear the repercussions of speaking your mind than hold your opinion in and let a friend get into trouble because of it. You are always there when anyone of us needs you. And though I hate to show any form of weakness...I...I'd rather have you witness it than anyone else. I know I can trust you to keep to yourself what you saw. Along with Gon and Killua, you are the only person who knows everything about my abilities. I have entrusted my most guarded secret to you. You are holding my life in your hands. If you were useless and only getting in the way, I never would have done that. You underestimate your own abilities. Your presence alone is more soothing than you could imagine. If I wasn't relaxing around you, this never would have happened. I wouldn't have let go like I did earlier..."
Kurapika sported a soft blush by then because of what he had told Leorio. He was baring some of the feelings he should keep to himself, but he hated for the other man to think he was useless, because he wasn't. Leorio was warmhearted and special, and he loved him. The Kurta tried to swallow around the dry lump in his throat then.
"I'm not good at sharing my feelings because I was alone for so long, but I'll try... What...what woke me up and you, too, it's...it's a nightmare that I've had since...since then, and that won't go away. I get chased by shadows, hunted down and surrounded, and when they finally close in, the shadows turn into people; my brethren, my parents. And then... then they look at me with...with their...dark, bloody holes for eyes, and they are angry and ask me why I got away, why I still...have...my eyes...and they...they try to...take mine, too..."
The closer the Kurta got to the end of the nightmare, the harder it got to force the words past his lips. His voice was dry and brittle, and his irises had a soft, red corona. He had never talked to anyone about this. Taking a deep breath, Kurapika tried to steady himself.
"I...I know my family loved me...and I think you were right the other night. They would not want me to get hurt while exacting revenge. I...I'm sure they would never hurt me physically like that...but...but I can't get rid of that nightmare and...the feelings it invokes," he told the other, his voice still unsteady. "You are the only one I've ever told this, and that is because...I feel...comfortable around you. I know my secrets are safe with you."
Kurapika looked across the table at Leorio, his hazel eyes searching out their chocolate counterparts. He had bared most of his feelings for the other man. Only one secret remained that he could not share with the other. He had told more than what he had wanted, but he couldn't bear for Leorio to think so lowly of himself. He really hoped his words would open the doctor's eyes.
Right away, Kurapika told him that he wasn't useless and started complimenting him in a way that the young doctor never expected. Hell, the very fact that Kurapika was actually bringing himself to compliment him was amazing in itself! Sure, his blond friend had complimented him on getting through med school and whatnot, but that was more of an expected compliment. What his blond friend was doing then and now was truly saying what he thought of him, and Leorio couldn't have been more touched.
It was then that the taller man saw Kurapika swallow hard, before actually telling him what had freaked him out that morning. Leorio was amazed by this turn of events, but another part of him wanted to stop his friend from continuing his explanation, especially after he saw Kurapika's eyes flash red momentarily, and noted how difficult it was for the other to even speak on the matter. Once Kurapika was done, though, he even went into an explanation of how he knew that his fears for his people hating his survival were unfounded, but that he didn't know how to get rid of them, and Leorio was the only one he had told because…he trusted him more than anybody else…
When Kurapika's eyes met his, Leorio couldn't stop himself as he got up from his seat, walked around the table, and brought his Kurta friend into a hug. Leorio just stood there for a moment, hugging his more than surprised friend, who was still sitting in his seat. The doctor found himself unable to come up with the words he wanted to say to the other but, when he finally found his voice again, he whispered out, "Thank you, Kurapika. I…I think that's probably one of the few times you've ever been so open with me. I know it was hard on you, but, really, thank you. You have no idea how badly I needed to hear those words from you."
Leorio reveled in the memories of Kurapika's compliments towards him while he held the other for a few more seconds. Just knowing that the other didn't think of him as useless was beyond relieving. But, Kurapika's kind words weren't the only thing that the Kurta had disclosed to him, so, with a slight reluctance that he didn't quite understand, Leorio pushed himself back from the other a bit. Only his hands were on his friend's shoulders then as he stared deeply into the other's eyes.
"Thank you also for sharing some of your burden with me Kurapika…I…I'm glad you at least know that your brethren would never think to harm you for surviving something as horrible as they had to go through…but…I don't know what else I can say to help you with your nightmares. Just the thought of you having them in the first place…it saddens me… I…I hate to think how you're always getting them when no one is around to comfort you. You truly are a strong person, Kurapika. I could barely stand the nightmares I got after Pietro's death…so I can't imagine how much worse yours are in comparison, since there are so many more souls bearing down on your conscience…"
Leorio took a deep breath then as he gathered his thoughts. There had to be a way he could help the other…if only a little.
"It's obvious that the reason why you have these nightmares is because you're restless. You know that your people don't hate you Kurapika but…that's not the problem…because you…you hate yourself for surviving, don't you?" The taller man stated in sudden realization then, his eyes shining with sadness. He had an idea on how to help his friend then. "Those dreams will probably never go away until you forgive yourself, Kurapika. I know my dreams of Pietro are starting to dwindle because…I've started to forgive myself for letting him die in the first place. There was nothing I could do to help him, and I seriously tried everything at my disposal, but because of my social standing, because I was a poor orphan living on the streets with barely enough money to buy myself food, there was nothing I could do to save him, and…I've slowly come to accept that. Now it's your turn, Kurapika. You were not there when the Phantom Troupe attacked, and, even if you were, there's no doubt that you'd be dead along with your brethren. Your survival is a blessing, because you can retrieve back what was once yours, what was once your peoples', and only you can put their souls at rest now by getting back their eyes. So please, Kurapika, you need to forgive yourself for something you had no control over, and just…take the opportunity you have to help your people and…just enjoy the life you have…You only have one, you know?"
Leorio smiled softly then as he stared at Kurapika with all the affection in the world. He was more than glad that his friend had survived, and that he had been lucky enough to meet him. If Kurapika was angry at himself for surviving something he had no control over, then Leorio swore to himself then that he was going to make the other see otherwise. He would do anything to help him realize that he should be glad for the life he had, and that it was okay to be the only survivor of his clan. Yes, it was a horrible thing to live with, in a sense, but as long as Kurapika had his friends, he wouldn't have to feel that loneliness anymore.
When Leorio suddenly stood up and marched over to him, Kurapika was confused. This turned into absolute surprise once the taller man bent down to hug him. There was a second of rigid insecurity, before Kurapika couldn't help himself anymore and melt into the heartfelt embrace.
Leorio's warm, deep voice whispered into his ear, making tiny hairs on the blond's neck stand out as soft shivers ran down his back. His stomach somersaulted when he imagined the other man whisper words of love in this way. He knew this wasn't the time for his fantasies, but they just came unbidden.
"Y-Your welcome," Kurapika whispered back lamely, while he enjoyed the feeling of the other man's warm body against his and the strong arms that held him.
A moment later, the doctor stood again, only his hands still resting on his shoulders. Leorio's chocolate eyes caught his, though, and held them captive. They looked slightly concerned but honest most of all, as he told him that he would like to help but had no idea how. Hearing the other tell him that he was a strong person made Kurapika feel good again. It mattered a lot to him how Leorio thought of him, and hearing compassion in the other man's words, without pity, meant the most to him. Although Leorio's past wasn't quite comparable to his own, at least he had a better understanding of guilt than most.
"Do I?" He whispered softly, unsure. Although Kurapika knew his people had been peaceful and that he had been a beloved member of the clan, he could only barely imagine the horrors they had gone through during their last moments. Maybe their spirits had turned vengeful because of that?
Leorio, though, had another theory, and Kurapika knew the other man wasn't wrong about it. The doctor compared his own situation with his, and tried to show him that it was only luck that he had escaped and that he wasn't at fault for what had happened. But Leorio was wrong, so wrong. There was a fundamental difference between their cases. Kurapika was at fault. When the doctor told him he had to forgive himself and enjoy life, the blond looked up with pain shining in his eyes.
"How can I when it is my fault that they had to die?" For the first time ever, Kurapika uttered his biggest and deepest fear. His arms wrapped around himself in an attempt to comfort himself. "On my test for the right to wander into the outside world, I lost control. My eyes turned red, and the townspeople saw it. They called me a demon. But when I returned to my village, Pairo helped me hide the fact, and I ended up cheating. Six weeks later, my people were...gone. It was my fault. I lead the Phantom Troupe there! If...if I hadn't cheated they...they would have been warned, they might have...been more vigilant..."
As his deepest fear bubbled to the surface, Kurapika's eyes turned crimson and tears ran down his face again. He had never before told anyone about this, but the guilt had dwelt and had festered deep inside of him by that point. Speaking it aloud was kind of a relief, but at the same time, it made it feel so much more real. He had been the beacon that had led the Phantom Troupe to his home.
Leorio had thought that what he had said to his friend had been good, and that Kurapika would probably accept what he had said, but when the Kurta started speaking in an even more distraught way, telling Leorio one of the greatest fears of his life, the young doctor could only stare at the other in shock. It seemed that Kurapika's inner demons weren't going to go away with just a few words.
When he saw his friend's eyes turn red then and start to cry, Leorio went into full panic mode. It physically hurt to see Kurapika like that. His friend was usually so strong, but now he looked vulnerable and absolutely miserable…and it was the taller man's fault in a sense. He had to help him!
"Kurapika, it's okay, it's okay…" Leorio whispered out reassuringly as he brought his hands up from the other's shoulders to cup his face. "Shh, just calm down. There's no reason for you to think this way Kurapika. There had to be other people who took that test and screwed up, and the Phantom Troupe never came and attacked your clan then. This was all just a stroke of misfortune that couldn't be prevented, and it's not your fault."
To Leorio's dismay, though, Kurapika just started to cry harder. Damn it, why didn't the other believe him?!
Feeling so lost and unsure of what to do, the young doctor just went with what his gut instinct told him to do; he knelt down and held the other close to him. He was tall enough so that he was level with Kurapika's head, so Leorio wasn't uncomfortable at all by the situation as he rubbed his blond friend's back soothingly, his chin resting on the other's shoulder while Kurapika cried onto his. Kurapika just kept crying, though, causing the young doctor to feel even more lost on what to do. Was his hug even helping?
Feeling that his hug wasn't helping as much as he wanted it to, Leorio brought his hands back up to cup Kurapika's face again, his thumbs wiping the other's cascading tears.
"Kurapika, it's alright, please stop crying," Leorio pleaded, his own voice choking up at the fact that he had made his friend cry like this. Out of desperation, he leaned forward and pecked the other's forehead as he murmured words of comfort. The taller man lost himself in his comforting mode then, his brain failing to realize that he was plastering his friend's face with comforting kisses because he was so desperate to calm the other down. Leorio wasn't even thinking by the time his lips reached Kurapika's, the young doctor instinctively pushing his tongue into the other's mouth when he felt him gasp. Leorio's tongue rubbed up against Kurapika's in a slow, sensual way, as the young doctor tilted his head for better leverage.
Leorio's long, soft hands cupped his face. He whispered reassuring words to him, trying to make him calm down. To Kurapika, who was always alone and had kept these feelings locked up for so long, the tenderness and the caring words made it even harder to calm down. There was a part of him that was disgusted at his display of weakness, but the rest of him just wanted to let go for once. He had told Leorio that he trusted him, and that was the truth. Because of that, he felt secure when he let his guard fall around him like this.
In the next moment, Leorio tried to assure him that he couldn't have been the first Kurta to have failed the test in that town, and that nothing had happened before. Kurapika had never wondered about this. The other one was right, although no one was proud to tell, he knew there were a few that had tried and failed. It wasn't like the villagers had ever moved to hide or anything after such a failed test. But still... The short time the Spider's assault happened after his test made it hard to believe in coincidences. No, it was still his fault, Kurapika decided, and he cried even harder.
A moment later, the doctor changed his position and they were kind of level. He was folded into a full embrace again, and couldn't help but cry into the strong shoulder Leorio offered him. Kurapika almost felt like a little boy again, like he had fallen out of a tree and scraped his knees, and he was comforted by his loving dad. This feeling and memory only drove home the fact again that he would never see anyone of his family or clan again in this life; that he was the last one and alone. For all the comforting words and hugs Leorio bestowed upon him, Kurapika just couldn't stop the tears from coming.
Still, the doctor tried to comfort him. Again he cupped his face, made him look up, and told him everything was alright, but the Kurta didn't feel the same way. And then sweet, sweet kisses were showered upon his face. Surprised, Kurapika's eyes widened, but he was speechless. He felt confused. Was this a normal way for Leorio to comfort a distraught friend? The next thing he knew, Leorio's lips pressed against his and a surprised gasp escaped the Kurta. Before he could react, the doctor's tongue slipped into his mouth then and tenderly caressed his own.
From somewhere deep, deep down, a desperate and yearning sound bubbled up. The feelings he had for Leorio overwhelmed Kurapika at that moment. He didn't think at all, but just reacted to the kiss. His arms, that had hung lifeless at his sides up until that point, wrapped around the other man, holding him tight as his tongue reciprocated the sweet caresses. His positive reaction seemed to animate the doctor. Forcefully, but still tender, Leorio ravished him then, eliciting eager moans from the Kurta as he let the other man have his way. It was all he had dreamed of and so much more. Kurapika clung to the taller man, passion heating his body as the tears he had shed just moments ago were forgotten.
Their kiss seemed to last half an eternity, with Leorio only reluctantly ending it when their lungs burned for air. Panting heavily, Kurapika looked into the passionate but still insecure chocolate eyes of the doctor. Even though the blond's eyes were still slightly wet, some last tears clinging to his long lashes, there was a soft smile on his lips. A dream had come true, and the reality of it had been even better than the dream ever could be. But as he saw the insecurity in Leorio's eyes, the doubts written across his face, Kurapika came back to earth. It had been nothing but a mistake, he realized, as he let go of the other. Leorio didn't have any romantic feelings for him, he was only into women. But with the way the Kurta had behaved so weakly and vulnerably, it was no wonder that the doctor had mistaken him for one, and had just went with his gut. That must have been it.
Swallowing hard, Kurapika forced another smile. "I...I need to go to the washroom," he said, wiping at a tear on his cheek.
Immediately, Leorio moved to let him pass, and the Kurta returned to the bathroom. He made sure to walk in slow, measured steps, although he desperately wanted to run. When the door was closed behind him, he touched his lips disbelievingly. His stomach somersaulted as he remembered the passion of the kiss. If only...if only Leorio wasn't straight…but Kurapika had witnessed it often enough that there was no doubt about such a notion, and believing anything else would only set himself up for major heartbreak! He couldn't bear to be Leorio's one time adventure into the gay world.
Kurapika took his time then to wash his face, dab at his red, puffy eyes and cheeks with a cold cloth, and wait for his irises to return to their hazel brown color. Only when he looked normal again, did he leave the bathroom. The only course of action he could come up with was to act like the kiss had never happened. It shouldn't have in the first place, and wouldn't have if not for his break down. So it was up to him to help Leorio keep up the pretense.
"Okay, I'm good now. Let's eat. I hope the oatmeal isn't too cold yet," he said as neutrally as possible as he returned to the table and sat down.