A/N: Hi there! Once more we want to thank everyone who took the time to review, even though most of the reviews were riddled with death threats XDD We're still very happy to get them and very much appreciate to read your thoughts! Also thanks to everyone who faved or follows.
We're at chapter 13 already and finally we're reaching the home stretch. Once more we let you guys off at a terrible cliffhanger. Leorio had just confessed his feelings to Kurapika, but the Kurta took the words the wrong way. In this chapter, the four change location and move to a romantic Japanese ryokan. The special atmosphere and a little help from a friend finally helps along at least one of our pairs. As usual we hope you'll have fun!
Chapter 13
The young doctor waited on bated breath for his crush's answer, and when he got it, he felt his heart start to break. Kurapika was talking to him like a child, and had even given him a friendly clap on the shoulder. Either Kurapika had taken his confession the wrong way…or he was purposefully taking his confession the wrong way in order to save their friendship (Kurapika looked sad too, so maybe he was actually taking pity on him). Leorio didn't know whether to laugh or cry at that.
Before the emission user could wonder if he should go and bury himself in a hole somewhere, though, a loud exclamation of 'Are you kidding me?!' came from the bushes behind them. Jumping at the sound, Kurapika and him glanced towards the said bushes, automatically recognizing the voice that had shouted.
"Killua!" Leorio exclaimed in anger then as he momentarily forgot about his heartache to stand up and march halfway to the bushes. "You little bastard! Now you're spying on me on top of lying to me?! What the hell is your problem?!"
The former assassin just sighed in exasperation as some grumbled curses left his mouth from behind a nearby bush. After he seemed to be done having his little fit, Killua stepped out of the bushes with Gon beside him, the beast hunting teen looking ready to jump between his best friend and Leorio if things got a bit out of hand.
"I wasn't spying," the silver-haired teen more than likely lied as he sent Leorio his best despondent look. "Gon and I were just wondering how Kurapika was after you checked him out."
"Well he's fine since he's not dying," Leorio hissed out in seething rage then, remembering the horrible trick the younger teen had played on him.
Before Killua could respond again, though, Leorio heard Gon call out to Kurapika in worry. The doctor forgot about his silver-haired nemesis to glance behind him towards the Kurta then. It so happened that Kurapika had struggled to his feet and was now making his way towards the edge of the clearing.
"Wait up, Kurapika!" Leorio called as he ran after the other. "Where are you going?! Doesn't it hurt to walk?!"
As Kurapika stopped in his tracks, and the taller man stopped beside his smaller companion, he noticed how Kurapika refused to look at him. Was the other more disgusted with his confession than he had originally let on?
"I'm heading back towards the hotel to rest," Kurapika answered him then, effectively dodging half of the doctor's questions. Leorio tried not to feel like his heart was breaking in two from the other's attitude as he focused on the new problem at hand.
"Um…you actually can't go back to our room…" Leorio started out slowly, which caused Kurapika to finally look at him with confusion marring his brown irises. "…I kind of …checked all of us out of the hotel…"
"What the hell?!" Killua exclaimed in livid surprise then. "Why did you do that?!"
As his friends' confused and angry questions met his ears, Leorio knew that he hadn't explained himself in the right way, so he tried to explain again, all the while trying to forget about the constant heartache he felt in his chest.
"Okay, calm down and let me explain," the taller man offered in slight annoyance as he brought his hands up in a placating manner. "I met an old classmate of mine this morning while you guys were apparently trying to kill yourself with Nen-football."
Leorio ignored Killua and Kurapika's scoff at his offhanded comment then in order to continue with his explanation.
"Anyway, his family runs a ryokan here, which is basically a traditional hotel that has hot spring baths. Since he owed me a favor for helping him pass his classes, he offered to let us rent two rooms for the rest of our vacation at half of the price. Since ryokan's are so expensive, and since I wanted to show you guys the type of culture I've been living in for the past four years, I accepted. So I moved all of our luggage out of our hotel and into the ryokan. All we have to do is hand in our old hotel keys to get some of our money back for the rooms then…if you guys want to come, that is," Leorio added sheepishly then. "I know I did this without your guys' permission, but I seriously thought you'd love the opportunity, so I…wanted this to be a surprise…"
"Have any other surprises up your sleeves?" Killua asked sarcastically, obviously in as bad of a mood as he and Kurapika were. Thankfully, Gon (the only one seemingly in a normal mood at that time) elbowed Killua in the ribs to make the little brat shut up, and then he offered his interest in going to the ryokan. Smiling at his spiky-haired friend, Leorio glanced at Killua then.
"Yeah, yeah, I'm coming," the former assassin mumbled out as he glanced away from everyone then. "I could use a relaxing, hot bath…"
With that settled, Leorio turned to Kurapika, his eyes filled with concern and slight hope. He really didn't want Kurapika to hate him after…after everything that had just happened.
"What do you say, Kurapika?" Leorio asked softly then, hesitantly. "I think the hot springs will be good for your shin…"
Even though Gon wasn't too happy with the methods Killua had applied, seeing their two older friends holding each other like that did felt good. They were obviously reaching the level of closeness he had with Killua. It was all Gon had hoped for, for those two.
When Leorio told Kurapika that he loved him, the beast hunter was a little taken aback though. That was until the blond answered. Of course they loved each other like brothers! But at the same moment as this realization hit Gon, Killua suddenly shouted out next to him.
Surprised and not just a little worried, he looked from his agitated best friend to a newly enraged Leorio. When the tall man marched over to them, Gon emerged from the bushes next to Killua, ready to intervene if the two should start to fight. For the moment the fight seemed to remain verbal, though, and it wasn't like the spiky-haired hunter couldn't understand the doctor's fury. If someone made it seem like Killua was dying when he was mainly okay, he would want to kill that person, too!
"Waaah! Kurapika? What are you doing?!" Gon shouted out in worry then, as he saw the hurt blond get up.
Everyone's attention was drawn then to the stubborn Kurta making his way across the clearing, ignoring the pain he surely was in. Of course, Leorio ran after him, and he followed with Killua in tow. Gon at least wanted to help their hurt friend, although he had an inkling that offering to give the other a piggy-back wouldn't be taken too positively.
When Kurapika declared that he was heading back to their hotel then, Leorio suddenly told him that all of them were checked out of it.
"Huh?" Gon looked at the doctor wide-eyed, while Killua was a little more vocal about his surprise.
When Leorio explained what had happened and why he had done what he had done, the beast hunter actually didn't mind. That 'ryokan' sounded pretty interesting to him. Killua reacted pretty sarcastically, though, which Gon stopped with a well-placed elbow to the ribs.
"It sounds very interesting! I would love to bathe in a hot spring!" He exclaimed loudly (silencing any utterances Killua might want to make) and showed his full support, which Leorio needed by that point as it seemed. It actually earned him a relieved smile from the doctor then.
Kurapika had been kind of glad for Killua's intervention. Of course he wasn't too happy that the other two obviously had witnessed their little scene, but at least he didn't have to bear Leorio touching him any longer. As the three of them bickered, Kurapika decided it was the best to get the hell out of there and away from the crushing emotional pain he felt. The pain in his leg actually was nothing in comparison.
Sadly, Gon found him out way too soon and shouted out his name, which brought the doctor back in an instant. Kurapika still couldn't bear to look at him and avoided his gaze. When he was asked where he was going, he answered truthfully, if not with the whole truth, which was that he just wanted to get away from Leorio as fast and as far as possible.
Of course this wasn't meant to be! The other told him that he couldn't go back to his room for some reason. This was so much of a shock that Kurapika actually looked up questioningly into the doctor's eyes. The idiot had actually checked them out of their hotel?!
"You did what?!" Even Kurapika exclaimed angrily.
After a scoff at the negative remark about their Nen-boosted soccer game, Leorio fully explained himself and his actions. Under different circumstances, Kurapika would have loved the chance to learn more about the culture Leorio had lived in during his four years here. Right now, though, all he wanted was some distance from the other man and an icepack or two.
But of course, Gon was excited to try something new, and Killua grumpily agreed, too. When Leorio turned to him then, there wasn't much Kurapika could do anyway. He just sighed.
"Yeah, whatever. Sounds nice. Is it far?" It wasn't too much fun standing on his throbbing leg.
He looked at Gon then.
"Can you take our keys back to the hotel and get the refund?" Kurapika didn't spell out the fact that he wasn't too keen on walking around more than he had to, but, for once, Gon understood this immediately.
To his chagrin, though, Killua of course intended on going with the enhancer, which left him to go ahead alone with Leorio. The doctor handed over the keys to their room and told the boys the address of the ryokan before turning back to him. When he offered his arm to help Kurapika walk, the Kurta drew his own away.
"I can walk alone!" He barked, venting his frustrations and heartache, before he hobbled a few steps.
"Are you coming? I...I don't know the way..."
Kurapika blushed softly then as he looked defiantly at Leorio.
Leorio didn't know what to think when Kurapika eventually agreed. He sounded like he wasn't too happy about the change in location.
Just as he thought this, Kurapika asked Gon to return all of their hotel keys, and it was at this point that the young doctor realized why the other was so grouchy. The pain in his leg was starting to get to him.
Deeming it a good idea for Gon to return the keys and get their money back, and even more so that Killua was going with the other because he'd make sure that Gon didn't accidentally screw anything up (and also for the fact that the two seemed to be getting along again), Leorio just nodded in acceptance. Sadly, though, that left the taller man with his unrequited love, who also happened to be grumpy because of the pain he felt.
Knowing that he just had to suck things up and tell his aching heart to shut up, Leorio handed over his and Kurapika's room keys and instructed their two youngest friends on where the ryokan was. With that done, he then offered to help Kurapika walk, but the Kurta vehemently refused; his words scathing.
As he watched Kurapika hobble a few steps away from him to show that he was capable of walking, he sent the other a non-impressed look as soon as the blond turned around and asked him to lead the way.
"I'm not going to let you walk on your foot, Kurapika," Leorio stated simply then, his tone absolutely serious. "If we walk all the way to the ryokan, you'll only stress your shin more than it needs to be."
With that said the doctor approached his resisting patient and crouched down before him, his back facing the other in an open invitation for a piggyback ride. Unsurprisingly, Kurapika refused even more for the 'childish' treatment.
"Well, it's either this, or I help you hobble all the way to the ryokan on one leg. A piggyback ride is faster and not as demeaning as carrying you bridal style," Leorio explained as patiently as he could.
Apparently, though, Kurapika had the largest pole stuck up his ass by this point because he still refused, looking completely put out at the idea of the other carrying him. Leorio really tried not to take the other's anger personally, but he couldn't help but feel that Kurapika was….repulsed by him. Had he…had he really disgusted the other with his confession?
Because of his own heartache and frustrations by that point, Leorio couldn't stop himself from basically exploding on the other. He shouted out how stupid and stubborn the other one was being when he was only trying to help, and Kurapika just continued to stubbornly shout he could walk. Leorio was so fed up by that point that he just gave up.
"Fine, your highness, lets walk all the way to the ryokan so that I don't bruise your precious pride anymore!" Leorio shouted at the other heatedly with hurt in his eyes. He abruptly turned from the Kurta then and started to walk (more like stomp) to get out of the park. Even though he was pissed at the other, and feeling like his heart was repeatedly being ripped out, Leorio kept glancing back every once in a while to see how the other was keeping up with him as they made their way to the entrance. Unsurprisingly, Kurapika could only walk slowly with is leg, so he would occasionally fall a bit behind. Okay, this was seriously just too stupid…
"Alright, we're taking a taxi," Leorio proclaimed then as soon as they both made it to the street. He ignored Kurapika completely then, because he seriously didn't want to fight with the other anymore. Yeah, he knew that traffic right then was horrible, but he'd rather not have Kurapika put too much strain on his leg.
After hailing down a taxi, Kurapika and him spent the next twenty or so minutes in the car in silence. Leorio refused to look at the other in fear that he'd actually see disgust on the other's face, and Kurapika stayed silent as well for his own reasons Leorio could only assume. When they finally arrived at the ryokan, Killua and Gon were waiting outside for them.
After paying the quite pricey cab ride for the second time that day (Leorio really didn't care anymore as long as Kurapika's leg hadn't gotten worse), the taller man apologized for making Killua and Gon wait and then showed his friends inside the large building. Upon their entry (Leorio occasionally sending worried glances Kurapika's way to make sure the other was still doing alright), a young woman in a dazzling kimono was bowing before them.
"Good day, guests," the young woman said as she bowed courteously to them. "You have just arrived in time for lunch. Leorio-san, we have already set up a table in your room. Will the guests from the room beside you be joining you for lunch?"
"Uh…Yes," Leorio answered, a little taken aback as he glanced towards Gon and Killua to see if they were okay with that. Apparently, the young woman had been waiting for them, courtesy of Ryu's parents. They really were trying to show them how grateful they were for helping their son…
"Lunch together sounds nice!" Was Gon's immediate reply, so Leorio didn't feel too bad for answering for his friends.
"Alright, I will send some maids to set the table for four then," the young, kimono-wearing woman answered with a sweet smile. "Your menus will be in your room then, Leorio-san. Please ring the bell inside the room when you and your friends are ready to order. We also have a few pairs of yukata for you and your guests to wear in your respective rooms when you are ready to don something more comfortable. Detailed instructions are posted on the inside of the cupboard where your yukata lay in case you don't understand how to put it on. Is there anything else I can help you with before I show you back to your rooms?"
"Yes, can you get an icepack for my friend?" Leorio asked without hesitation then. "He hurt his leg."
"Oh my, of course!" The young woman exclaimed in slight worry as she bowed again. "I will get someone on that right away! Please wait a moment…"
As the young woman walked away to finish issuing her orders, Leorio just sent his friends a sheepish look.
"Hehe, I didn't expect my friend's parents to pull out all the stops for us, but this is actually how it usually is in a ryokan," the young doctor explained. "We don't have to handle anything usually. The maids here will come into our rooms during different parts of the day to rearrange the furniture for eating, lounging, and sleeping purposes as well as clean. As for bathing, our rooms actually have a joint bathroom and private hot spring. I suggest we try the hot spring out after dinner tonight if you guys don't mind, because a hot bath feels really good after a meal, and the hot spring area is really beautiful at night…"
Leorio smiled as he heard enthusiastic agreement from Gon, while Killua and Kurapika's tone of agreement was quieter. The emission user looked towards his two quietest friends with slight concern then. Kurapika just looked tired, and that was probably from his leg, but…Killua looked like he was reverting back to his attitude from yesterday. He just seemed…distant at that moment, and a little sad looking.
Before the young doctor could think too much on his thoughts, though, the young woman from before came back with a packet of ice in tow and some slippers. She then asked the guests to put their shoes in the cubbyholes along the side of the wall that corresponded with their room number and put on the slippers. The four of them did this while Leorio showed them which cubbies were theirs and explained why they had to wear slippers instead of their shoes. It was mainly a cleanliness issue and for protecting the state of the wooden floors and tatami mats in their rooms.
Once they were done, the young woman bowed to them and then showed them to their rooms. The rooms were cozy looking, and fit for two people, but there was enough room for guests as well. Once the young woman was done pointing out where the yukata were placed within the room, along with extra pillows if they needed some (especially for Kurapika's foot), she handed over the ice pack to Leorio and told them to ring the bell beside the door when they were finished deciding on their food. The bell was connected to another bell within the kitchen, so a maid would be with them right away to take their order.
With that, the young woman bowed and left the four men in Leorio and Kurapika's room.
"Well, let's change into our yukata later," Killua offered then, his voice still sounding a little sad as he made his way towards the already made table and grabbed a menu. "I'm starving."
The Kurta severely rued the fact that he had admitted to not knowing the way to the ryokan a moment later. His ignorance was used against him in the worst way. Instead of just telling him where to go, the doctor demanded that he ride him piggy-back style. Kurapika was appalled by the mere notion. All he wanted was distance to get a clearer head and come to terms with his confusing and painful feelings, and that's when, out of all the times, the other man asked him to be physically close to him. Of course, to Leorio it was an act of kindness between friends, nothing out of the ordinary, which in a way only made matters worse to Kurapika. It was only more proof that he had understood the other man correctly when he had told him that he loved him.
"I'm not a child! I will walk on my own two feet, thank you!"
Under different circumstances Kurapika might have seen reason in Leorio's offer, but right then the mere thought of getting carried bridal style made the Kurta bristle.
"You will not carry me! And certainly not in that demeaning way! I'm walking!"
Kurapika turned even more stubborn when the doctor actually shouted at him for how stupid he was for reacting this way. He would walk on his own two feet to that ryokan, even if it would kill him! In the end, Leorio gave in, even though he was very sarcastic about it. With a huff, Kurapika followed after the doctor as fast as he could. No matter how pissed off Leorio obviously was with him by now, though, he still made sure Kurapika could keep up with him and wouldn't lose sight of him.
It didn't take too long for the Kurta to realize that he should at least have taken the offered arm. Every step was hurting considerably by the time they were getting close to the park's exit. Kurapika had considerable stamina under the stresses of a fighting situation and with a considerable amount of adrenaline running through his veins. Yet the pain in his leg then was only added to the pain in his heart, making him feel sapped and out of energy. That was why he didn't put up too much of a fight when Leorio decided to take a taxi the rest of the way.
When he finally sat in the car, the Kurta concentrated on himself, trying to fight the pain he felt. He just wished to be able to lie down and put his leg up and be alone for a while. Trying to fight the pain in a slightly meditative state, Kurapika didn't feel the time pass. When they arrived at their destination, he felt slightly dazed.
The ryokan looked like the old traditional houses from this area that he had seen in books before. Usually Kurapika would have enjoyed being here, but he just couldn't appreciate his surroundings at the moment. When the attendee told them that lunch would be served soon, Kurapika had to keep in a groan. This became harder to do when he heard that the boys would be eating at their room, too.
The first good thing he heard about then was the ordered icepack. Kurapika actually sent a short, thankful glance Leorio's way. He could barely wait to head to their room then, and just agreed halfheartedly to whatever the doctor had planned for them. The whole procedure was taking just too long for the exhausted Kurta. They even had to change their shoes for slippers before they were finally showed to their room.
As soon as the attendee left them, Kurapika just dropped to the floor next to the closest sitting pillow.
"Give me that damned icepack!" He barked grumpily at the doctor as he punched the pillow in order to fluff it up, and then pushed it behind his back.
"Waah, Kurapika, you need to put that leg up!" Gon shouted out then and rushed to get two more pillows from the closet. Kneeling down next to the Kurta, he carefully propped up the other's colorful leg.
"Thanks, Gon", Kurapika grumbled as a little of the throbbing pain lessened with the elevated position.
"This will hurt at first," Leorio warned then, as he put the cold icepack, that was now wrapped in a napkin, onto his bruised shin.
Even with the warning, the Kurta couldn't keep from hissing at first, but after a moment a sigh left his lips as the icy cold finally numbed the pain.
"I don't think I want something to eat, but I'll take some green tea," he told the others, not feeling up to deciding on any food he might like at that moment. It would be hard to eat in his current position anyway.
Killua really couldn't believe what had happened so far that day as he sat down and tried to figure out what he wanted for lunch. He had been excited when he saw Leorio confess to Kurapika, but that excitement was basically shot down before it could take full flight by the Kurta's reaction. Kurapika had taken Leorio's confession the wrong way! Because of that, both of the freaking idiots were suffering heartache and looking like puppies that had been kicked out onto a rainy street. It was seriously beyond the silver-haired teen's comprehension as to how his two older friends couldn't figure the other's feelings out when they were so fucking obvious.
So, yeah, that had put him back in a bad mood again, and Gon's presence wasn't helping to improve that mood either. Killua had effectively forgotten about his problems with Gon during the game because he had focused on something else. As soon as the game was over, though, he became hyper aware of the other's presence to the point that Killua just wanted to end his misery. It really didn't help that he got even more alone time with the other than he expected when he volunteered to go with Gon to return their old room keys just for the sake of giving Leorio and Kurapika some more time to themselves. During the time he was with Gon, Killua swore he fell in love with his beast hunting friend all the more because the other was just beyond adorable in any situation he found himself in, even when he was asking some snooty receptionist for a room refund.
Figuring out that his plan to try and forget about his feelings for Gon while in the other's presence were failing quite spectacularly by that point, which only worsened the former assassin's mood, Killua just tried to keep himself sane with internal pep talks. He felt like everything was basically going to shit, but he wasn't going to give up yet. He still had some ideas on how to solve some of his problems…even if he didn't quite like them.
While Killua was focused on his inner thoughts, he heard Gon exclaim something about Kurapika. As the silver-haired teen watched his taller friend help elevate the Kurta's leg, and heard Kurapika thank him in turn, Killua also couldn't help but notice the obvious hurt on Leorio's face at the same time. Apparently (going by the mood he could detect between the two at the moment) their time alone had only worsened their situation (just his fucking luck), and Kurapika really hadn't thanked Leorio for everything he had done for the other as soon as he had entered the clearing in the park. Man, and Killua thought he was an asshole! Maybe being a doctor was more of a thankless job than Leorio had expected?
Killua watched as the doctor schooled his features then and helped apply some ice to Kurapika's leg. Kurapika hissed in pain before he seemed to finally relax. In that next moment, his blond-haired friend declared that he'd only be taking some green tea because he didn't feel like eating. Killua heard Leorio scoff at that.
"No, you need to eat something," the doctor no less than ordered. "Getting some foods that are high in protein into your system will help you heal a little faster."
"And how do you suggest I eat if I'm sitting like this?" Kurapika asked then with a little attitude again. Man, it was no wonder that Leorio was in a bad mood as well. He just couldn't catch a break from the stubborn-ass Kurta, could he?
"…I'll feed you myself…if that's okay with you…" Leorio suggested cautiously then as he scanned Kurapika's face for some form of confirmation. Killua could see a small blush dust the emission user's cheeks, as well as Kurapika's, at the suggestion.
"…I'm not a baby…" Kurapika finally growled out, which seemed to be the last straw for Leorio.
"Starve then. See if I fucking care," the doctor hissed out scathingly as he sat down beside Kurapika and tried to hide his face with the menu. Before he could do so, though, Killua could see the evident hurt in Leorio's eyes. The poor guy looked about close to crying from the mixture of frustration and heartbreak.
Killua couldn't help but send Kurapika a 'Are-you-freaking-serious? You're-almost-worse-than-me' look before going back to his menu and discussing what he wanted to eat with Gon. When everyone seemed finished with choosing what they wanted, Gon excitedly ran over to the bell by the door and rang it (more than once, of course). In a matter of minutes, a younger looking woman than the one before was opening the door to their room and kneeling on the ground.
"I assume you are all ready to order? Before you do so, I just got word from the owners, and they said that everything on the menu is half-priced to you as well as the room. Do you want to have some time to reconsider your orders?"
"Half-price?!" Leorio belted out in surprise then before a look of excitement overcame him, his previous sadness forgotten in that moment. "Well, in that case, we should all get sushi! It's usually very expensive, but, since it's half-price, we should take advantage of the opportunity. I'm sure you guys will like it!"
As the doctor sent Gon and him a hopeful look, Killua actually cracked a small smile.
"I've had sushi before, and I agree. Since we have the money, Gon, let's get some of that instead."
After the beast hunter's agreement, the three of them put in their orders for sushi and drinks. Killua asked for a sweet, carbonated drink, while his other friends asked for tea. Leorio, to the former assassin's surprise, though, ordered a little more food than expected. He had basically gotten enough sushi for two people, along with some rice cakes. Was he ordering a lot to take advantage of the deal they were just given?
Killua got his answer twenty minutes later when their food and drinks arrived. As soon as the food was set down before him, Gon and him started to dig in, but Leorio grabbed a piece of fatty tuna sushi and presented it to Kurapika with his chopsticks instead.
"I ordered too much, so you should help me eat this," Leorio mumbled out in a slightly pouty fashion as he tried to feign innocence, his eyes giving him away as they basically pleaded with the other.
Of course the headstrong doctor wanted to tell him what to do. Kurapika knew himself that he should eat at least a little bit, but even the thought of trying to sit at the table in a befitting manner made his leg hurt more again. And with the way he was lounging around at the moment, he couldn't really eat too well, now could he? That was exactly what he told Leorio, his voice dripping with sarcasm.
The answer he got to this was something he definitely hadn't expected. Kurapika couldn't stop the blush from spreading over his cheeks as the doctor suggested he'd feed him. The idea alone was super embarrassing! He wasn't sick or immobilized to the point that he was unable to feed himself. And it wasn't like he was starving or anything. He could easily afford to skip a meal.
When he stubbornly growled that he wasn't a baby, Leorio exploded and told him to starve. Crossing his arms over his chest, Kurapika huffed in answer, only to earn himself a scathing look from Killua of all people. What the heck?! That little brat had the audacity to look down on him?!
Yet it made the Kurta review his behavior towards Leorio. Grudgingly, he had to admit that he had been very grouchy and unfair to the doctor, who had come running for him and had done nothing but try to help him. Maybe he should apologize to the other man, but only... only once they were alone, whenever that might be. He'd rather eat a thousand needles then give Killua the satisfaction of watching him act on the silent reproach.
When the others were finally ready to order, they found out about another discount offered to them, and Leorio advised them to order sushi in that case. Kurapika had to hold his tongue then and keep a dismayed sigh in. One of his former bosses had been a fan of the dish, and that was how the Kurta had come in contact with it. He liked the tasty and healthy dish very much, but it was rare to get outside its country of origin. Well maybe he would get the chance to eat some later tonight, or maybe tomorrow.
When their food finally arrived, the blacklist hunter had resigned himself to his fate and tried to look forward to his green tea. To his utter surprise, though, a pair of chopsticks held out a yummy piece of fatty tuna nigiri to him.
Kurapika's eyes went wide as his mouth began to water at the treat. Leorio told him that he had ordered too much food. Yeah, right, like that might happen by accident with an expensive dish like sushi. Even though it was obviously a ruse to get him to eat, the excuse was good enough to save his face in front of the others, right?
"W-well in that case..." The blond muttered, opening his mouth then to receive the piece of sushi.
Once the nigiri was in his mouth, he couldn't keep from moaning at the delicate yet delicious taste. With a fresh blush, he looked at Leorio once he had swallowed his treat.
"Ehm...th-thanks, Leorio...I...I guess I'm hungrier than what I had thought...maybe...maybe I can get another?" Kurapika asked as kindly as he could. "O-only after you, of course."
When he heard an amused snort, the Kurta looked over to Killua, who already had opened his mouth for some presumably snide comment. The warning in the blond's flashing hazel eyes was enough to shut the young hunter up for once. Still the grin his fellow blacklist hunter wore then was enough to deepen the blush on Kurapika's cheeks. He tried to ignore the silver-haired brat then, which was made easier by the little maki roll that was suddenly held out to him.
"Oh, I like those salmon ones," he said, smiling at Leorio, before he offered his open mouth to be fed again.
When Kurapika actually ate the sushi from his chopsticks, Leorio could feel happiness and hope rise within him. This meant that he had been wrong, right? If Kurapika was eating from him now, that meant that he truly wasn't repulsed by him, right?!
Hearing his unrequited love finally thank him then, Leorio couldn't stop a happy, affectionate smile from spreading across his lips. So he had been wrong before. Kurapika was just grouchy because of his leg and his bruised ego, nothing more.
The young doctor let out a sigh of relief as he grabbed a maki roll next and held it out for Kurapika to take, ignoring his own hunger for the moment in order to satisfy the other. Kurapika mentioned how he liked the salmon flavored rolls then before he took the offered food from his chopsticks. Leorio made a note to give Kurapika all of the salmon maki rolls then.
"Would you like for me to dip some sushi in soy sauce for you?" The emission user asked kindly, but Kurapika stated that he preferred them raw, so the doctor just kept up with what he had been doing. After feeding the Kurta a good amount of the sushi he had purchased for the both of them, Kurapika said that he'd just like to munch on rice cakes and drink some of his tea then, so that the other could finish the sushi. Leorio smiled warmly at the Kurta as he placed the rice cakes in reach of Kurapika's hands and handed over the other's cup of tea for him to drink. As Leorio did this, he noticed that Kurapika had accidentally got some rice around the corner of his mouth.
"Oh, you missed a few kernels…" Leorio mumbled out then as he unconsciously reached out and swiped the little bits of rice from around Kurapika's mouth with his thumb. After the deed was done, Leorio placed the kernels on his thumb into his own mouth so as not to waste the precious rice. After he did so, though, he realized the implications of his actions. Quickly turning away from Kurapika then, Leorio stuttered out that the other should enjoy his tea as he started to eat his own sushi, a vibrant blush coming onto his face in the process.
'Smooth move, Leorio, now Kurapika will definitely be disgusted with you!' The young doctor mentally berated himself.
He avoided eye contact with Kurapika for the rest of lunch then. When he did meet the other's eyes again, it was after everyone was done eating. Leorio instructed that the Kurta should get some rest while he showed Killua and Gon around the ryokan. Kurapika agreed to this, so Leorio didn't feel too bad for leaving the other to his own devices after he made sure that Kurapika was comfortable. Once the kids and him were out of the room then, they spent most of the afternoon walking around the ryokan with Leorio explaining different cultural aspects of the place.
Even though Kurapika said he'd wait for Leorio to eat, too, the other man fed him first. He finally told the doctor that he was done, so that the taller man could get to eat, too. Still, Leorio pushed some rice cakes over and handed him his green tea.
Before the Kurta could take a sip, though, the doctor reached out and tenderly wiped his thumb around his mouth, declaring that there was some rice there. That action in and off itself was nice if a little embarrassing, but it made the blond flush crimson once Leorio put the thumb with the rice kernels into his mouth without a second thought. With his heart fluttering in his chest at the deed, Kurapika just had to look away from the doctor, who told him to enjoy his tea. Instantly, the Kurta lifted the cup, trying to hide his flustered state behind the way too small container.
Once everyone had eaten, Leorio told him to get some more rest, which Kurapika easily agreed to, especially after he heard the plan for the rest of the group. As much as he wanted to explore the place, too, his leg definitely wasn't up to it. After making sure that he had enough pillows, and after getting him a fresh icepack and a light blanket, the doctor left with the boys. It didn't take long for the Kurta to fall asleep once he was alone.
Gon enjoyed their meal of sushi very much. It was a native traditional dish he hadn't tasted before, but he liked it a lot, just like Killua promised. He was glad that Kurapika was feeling a little better also, and that him and Leorio seemed to be on good terms once again, once the blond got some food in his stomach.
After their meal, they left Kurapika to relax and recuperate for dinner and their planned dip in the hot spring. Their oldest friend showed them around the ryokan in the meantime. Gon looked around and tried to take everything in that Leorio told them about the place and the traditions. One of the beautifully clad women that worked there explained a few of the rules and services that were offered at the ryokan as well. While massages and getting an attendee to help them with washing up before the bath wasn't interesting to him, he did get intrigued at the mention of a tea ceremony. He usually just brewed tea and drank it and had no idea there was a ceremony surrounding that.
When early evening came around, Leorio parted ways with them at their room. They would get settled in a little, change into their yukata, and meet up for dinner. Gon felt very excited at trying out the new clothes. He had seen other guests already wearing the coat-like piece of clothing, and thought it looked comfortable.
Once he had unpacked the necessities, which consisted of his tooth- and hairbrush, he stripped down to his boxers and put on the yukata.
"Hey, Killua? Can you help me with that belt?"
For some reason it was super long and Gon wasn't quite sure on where to start rolling himself into that thing.
"It's called an 'obi'," Killua answered as he rolled his eyes, "and this is how you put it on."
His friend explained the process to him, while he wound the firm fabric belt around the other and tied it into a perfect knot at the end. Afterward, he slipped into the second yukata laid out for them and even allowed the eager Gon to help him with the obi. Once they were properly clad, they went next door for dinner.
Kurapika and Leorio had changed, too. This time the Kurta was sitting at the table, aided by a chair without legs, while his own, hurt leg was stretched out to the side a little.
"Ah, you look much better, Kurapika!" Gon exclaimed with a happy smile.
"Thank you. I feel much better, too," the blond answered him.
With the Kurta in a sitting position, dinner proceeded normally. This time he could eat for himself. They decided to get four different dishes and sample each. There was grilled fish, meat, different types of vegetables, rice, and soup. To Gon everything was just delicious, but the doctor warned them not to overeat since they still wanted to take a bath in the hot spring. With this goal in mind, the beast hunter barely controlled himself from stuffing his face.
Once dinner was over, the hunters separated again. Their rooms were of a high category. Both rooms actually shared a small hot spring of their own, so they did not have to go to the public bath. Just like Gon and Killua were used to, though, it was custom to shower or wash oneself before taking the bath. That was why he went back to their own room with Killua in tow.
"Ehm, Killua? You want to wash together?" He asked his friend this time, not really sure anymore if it was appropriate after his friend's latest reactions concerning the matter.
Throughout the rest of the afternoon and the early evening, Killua tried to keep himself sane, tried to keep himself distant from Gon, but he quickly found out that such a feat wasn't possible. The beast hunter's presence was constantly near him to the point that the silver-haired teen found it hard to breathe sometimes. How was it possible to care for someone so much?
So, by the time that dinner was over, and Gon was ready to hit the hot spring, Killua just couldn't go through with his best friend's suggestion, no matter how badly he actually wanted to. It was because of that feeling that he couldn't afford to be around the other in the first place.
"I'm sorry, Gon," Killua mumbled out then as he avoided eye contact with the other. He was afraid that, if he did look at Gon, that the look on his best friend's face would actually cause him to change his mind. "I just…want to have some time to myself for a moment. I'll go wash up first."
And, with that said, Killua headed into the bathroom section of their room without looking at Gon. What he said had been true, at least. He really did need some time away from Gon to think, not just about Leorio's and Kurapika's problems, but his own. His own problems were actually the ones that he was more concerned with at that point.
As Killua headed into the bathroom, he was quick to realize that Leorio had been right before. His and Gon's bathroom did connect to the other twos', but at least the wash stations were somewhat separated if the people in the other room did want a little more privacy. Just as Killua hung his yukata in a nearby closet, placed his boxers in a basket, and wrapped a towel around his waist, though, Leorio actually came through the opposite door. Killua just groaned at the sight of the older man. So much for having some alone time to think.
"Oh, I'm sorry, did you want the whole bathroom to yourself?" Leorio ground out sarcastically as he started taking off his yukata as well. "Last time I checked, this belonged to everyone, and we were all for going into the hot springs together."
Killua glanced away from Leorio then as the taller man grabbed a towel to cover himself. He had never seen the doctor naked, and he really didn't want to start to, thank you very much. The speedo incident was bad enough.
"Yeah, whatever," the silver-haired teen growled out then as he grabbed a wash basin and some wash clothes and headed over to one of the stations to get his stuff ready.
"You know, you really need an attitude adjustment," Leorio growled out as he followed after him with his own washing supplies. Killua worried if Leorio was actually going to sit by him when they washed themselves. Truthfully, the thought kind of freaked him out.
"And you need a brain adjustment," Killua grumbled under his breath in turn, but it was loud enough for Leorio to hear. Seeing as he was alone with the doctor, the young transmuter thought that he should probably try to make the most of it in some way.
"Excuse me?!" Leorio nearly shouted then in shock. "What the hell do you mean by that?! The last time I checked, I'm the only one here with a college degree!"
"Yeah, but your common-freaking-sense is missing," Killua hissed back in a quieter tone, as his frustrations from the day started to take a hold of him. "Any fucking idiot with a clue could see that Kurapika is attracted to you."
Leorio just blinked at Killua several times in a completely perplexed manner, before the young doctor laughed wryly to himself.
"Oh…I see where this is going," the young doctor said as he shook his head and sent Killua an angry yet pitying look. "Look, I'm not going to fall for whatever shit your trying to pull again, you got me? I know for a fact that Kurapika doesn't like me that way. If anything else, he's probably disgusted by me at this point."
Killua just rolled his eyes at that.
"I swear I'm the only smart one out of the four of us," Killua stated with a wry chuckle of his own. "Look, I was there when you confessed to him, and I know for a fact that Kurapika misunderstood your confession. He probably thought you loved him as a brother or something, because I know, undoubtedly, that Kurapika is attracted to you—hell, that he loves you. Gon and I have been talking to him throughout the three some years he's been ignoring you, and the signs are just freaking obvious. Why else would he want to ignore you but still want to remain as your friend after he met up with you again?"
For a moment, Killua saw Leorio stiffen then as doubt began to cloud his eyes, but he quickly shook his head as if to clear his thoughts. When the former assassin looked into the doctor's eyes for a second time, he saw determination and resolution shining through.
"Do you honestly blame me for not believing a single word you say after what happened this morning?" Leorio growled out in irritation. "Look, I don't know what you're trying to do, but stop it! Stop giving me false hope, alright? You should know more than anybody else what it feels like to get your hopes constantly dashed. It hurts like a bitch."
Killua felt a stinging in his chest then at the reminder of his own reality, but before he could respond, Leorio was stomping off to his room's section of the bathroom to wash at a different wash station.
"It's because I know that feeling that I don't want you and Kurapika to feel that anymore just because of some stupid misunderstandings…" Killua called out after the doctor, his voice shaking with frustration and hurt. "You guys are my friends…I wouldn't do something horrible to you like that unless I thought it was for the greater good. I'm sorry about my prank earlier today, but I was so fed up with your twos' stupidity that I pulled something drastic just to get you to confess to him. That all blew up in my face, obviously."
As Killua laughed wryly to himself again, he glanced Leorio's way to see that the doctor was still looking at him skeptically from across the room. Killua just sighed as exhaustion overtook him. Man, even embarrassingly opening his heart to the other man hadn't even changed a thing.
"Just so you know, Kurapika isn't disgusted with you either," Killua mentioned as he avoided eye contact with the doctor in favor of getting his bath stuff ready. He was kind of embarrassed from what he had just declared, after all. "I saw his face after you cleaned off the rice from his mouth during lunch. He was blushing, and not in a disgusted or completely embarrassed way. I think he liked it."
Unsurprisingly, the only response Killua heard from Leorio was the running of a water faucet on the opposite side of the room. The former assassin just followed suit and started to get cleaned up. More than likely, Gon and Kurapika would enter the bathroom soon because they had probably heard some muffled shouting during his and Leorio's fight. Well, at least he had instilled some doubt into the older man, but it was up to Leorio how things went from there. Killua could do only one more thing to give the other two some alone time, but he'd be sure to try it. Besides…he needed to talk to Gon in private eventually after he thought over a few more things, so leaving the bath to do that would be the perfect opportunity to kill two birds with one stone.
Gon tried his best not to let Killua know how much it saddened him that the other didn't want to share the washing with him. At least they'd be in the hot spring together, right?
"Yeah, of course. You just go ahead!" He answered with as much enthusiasm as he could muster while actually feeling sad and deprived.
As he waited, he lay back on the futon and looked up at the ceiling. As much as he had hoped, things really hadn't gone back to normal between them. They had spent most of the day together, but Killua had been kind of distant. Gon was trying to find out what he had done wrong, or at least what he could do to make Killua feel better around him. That was why he had complied with the other's wish without whining, too. Was he just too clingy for his friend's comfort? Did he really have to face the fact that they were becoming older and some things that had been natural to them, like bathing together, weren't appropriate anymore? Should he ask one of his older friends about what was still okay and what wasn't? To Gon it was just normal to be as close to Killua as possible, but obviously his friend wasn't comfortable with him anymore. Most likely Kurapika would know about the appropriate behavior. He knew so much about good manners.
Yes, that was what he would do! He'd ask his older friend and follow his advice. Hopefully that would make Killua feel better about being around him again!
Just as he thought this, there were muffled voices coming from the bathroom that sounded like shouting. "Oh no! Not again," Gon thought. He was pretty sure he could discern Leorio as the second voice. The beast hunter was torn then between going into the bathroom to break up the quarrel before it might ruin their bathing experience and respecting Killua's wishes.
Gon held himself back a little longer, but when he heard a voice rise again to the point it could be heard loud and clear through the bathroom door, he just couldn't restrain himself any longer. He knocked and entered a second later.
"Killua, aren't you done yet?" He asked a little louder and more cheery than what was necessary, hoping to startle the fighting parties enough that whatever quarrel was going on broke up of its own accord.
After the meal, Kurapika felt even better. The sleep and the food did seem to have helped with the pain, not to mention that the ice packs had done their work, too. Though the bruise was colorful, the swelling had gone down considerably. The throbbing in his shin was gone. Still the Kurta was a little wary and told Leorio to go wash himself first.
He waited for the doctor to be behind the closed door and securely out of eye-sight before he tried to get up. He didn't want to get babied by the taller man. His own worst case scenario was if he'd stumbled and fell into the doctor's arms! No, such a situation would only make things harder on his broken heart.
He had to learn to live with the fact that they were friends, nothing more but nothing less either. At least Leorio thought of him as a brother in arms. That had to be close enough for him! Still, to guard his own heart from any more pain, Kurapika would have to avoid any more romantic situations between them.
The Kurta stood up then, careful not to put too much strain on his hurt leg. Once he stood, though, and slowly shifted some weight onto said leg, he was glad to find that the pain had dulled considerately. He moved around slowly and carefully to test his leg, and felt satisfied that he walked almost normal again. He shouldn't put too much strain on the leg for maybe two or three days more, but Nen users were fast healers usually anyway.
When he was ready to face Leorio, he heard the muffled voice of Killua coming from the bathroom at quite some volume. Was that little brat riling up the doctor again?! He went into the bathroom then, ready to kick Killua's butt, hurt leg or no, but when he entered, there was an almost eerie silence.
Leorio looked at him surprised then.
"I would have come and helped you!" The doctor exclaimed, obviously exasperated with his stubborn patient.
Kurapika tried his best to ignore the half-naked body of the other man that was only covered by a short towel around the waist. He just smiled at his taller friend.
"Really, there's no need. I'm feeling much better. See? I can even walk normally again," the blond declared and made a few steps into the room. "I'll just use the shower to clean myself, so don't let me disturb you," he said as he turned towards the stall.
Kurapika's words were barely out of his mouth when a strong hand took hold of his shoulder and made him turn back to face the stern look on Leorio's face.
"Oh no, you don't! You won't put any more strain than necessary on that leg." The doctor got him a towel then and held out the basket to him. "Sit down on the stool when you've changed. I won't have you stand in the shower."
For a second, Kurapika just looked shocked at the other one. Immediately, part of him stubbornly wanted to refuse the 'doctor's orders' but if the day had taught him anything, it was to just go with what Leorio thought best for his injury. Still, the Kurta was shocked at the notion of stripping before the other man with the way things stood between them, even though he was a doctor. Sure, they'd be naked in the hot spring, too, but there was the darkness and the mist, and he could take the towel off close to the water's surface. But, of course, Leorio turned his head away, once he had given his orders.
With a soft sigh the Kurta followed the instructions and changed from his yukata to the towel, handing his clothes to the other man. As ordered, he sat on the stool and turned to the wash basin Leorio had used. He had just wrung out the washcloth to start washing himself when an annoyed doctor took the cloth from his hand.
"You just sit tight there. I'm going to do that."
"You most certainly won't! I can do that myself. I'm not a b..." A flustered Kurapika exclaimed as a rosy blush flushed his cheeks at the notion.
Leorio fell right into his words then. "You're not a baby. No. But you're hurt, and every once in a while you need to swallow that fucking pride of yours and let a friend help you."
Wide-eyed, Kurapika looked up into Leorio's warm chocolate-eyes. For once the emission-user hadn't shouted at him in frustration but had just told him matter-of-factly. It was so much more convincing this way. The flush the Kurta wore turned a shade darker as he swallowed around a very dry lump in his throat and nodded.
"O-okay...please...would you help me, Leorio?" He said in a very small voice, his gaze dropping a second later since he couldn't bear to look into those beloved eyes anymore, which only held kindness and nothing more.
Leorio hated to admit that he was beginning to doubt his current thoughts with concern towards Kurapika. He wanted to believe that Killua was right, but, at the same time, he truly couldn't trust the other on word alone. What happened that morning only proved that thought even more.
Before the young doctor could think too much on what he should believe, though, Gon came into the bathroom, followed by Kurapika a few minutes afterward. As soon as Leorio saw Kurapika walking on his own, though, he immediately chastised the other and made his way over to him, worry evident in his actions. Unsurprisingly, Kurapika put up a fuss with his babying, but, by that point, Leorio didn't care. What he was doing was the best for the irritable Kurta, no matter if he liked it or not. Okay, Leorio would admit to himself that he might be going a bit overboard since he was just overprotective of the conjurer in general, but, as long as the other ended up feeling better because of it, it really didn't matter in the end.
After convincing Kurapika it was best to sit down and wash himself, the taller man followed after his companion to see him attempting to wash. It was true that Kurapika could more than likely clean himself up because his leg wasn't bothering him as much anymore, but the key to a faster recovery was relaxation, so the less work the other did, the better. With that in mind, Leorio suggested that he help wash the other. It was no big surprise when Kurapika became even more irritated, but Leorio reminded him that it never hurt to have friends help you out sometimes. The young doctor was amazed at the blush he got in response to his statement, along with words of acceptance from his blond-haired friend.
Blushing lightly himself, Leorio got to work cleaning Kurapika up. It was so hard not to marvel at the other's creamy-white skin, how soft it was to the touch, but Leorio did his best to endure. He just continued to think of distracting and repulsive thoughts while he was doing so, so that he wouldn't get hard. Surely the sight of him turned on would disgust everyone in the room.
As Leorio continued to help wash Kurapika (he assured the other that he could clean his more private areas when he was done, since he didn't want to make him even more uncomfortable), the doctor couldn't help but notice the blush that the other continued to sport, or the little sighs of pleasure the other tried to hide. In truth, the sight and the sounds of the other were starting to drive him wild to the point that Leorio wondered if he was honestly distracting himself enough.
"I'm going to clean and check your shin now, okay, Kurapika?" Leorio half-stated, half-asked his companion as he gently lifted up the other's leg. He heard Kurapika's words of acceptance then, so Leorio got down to work, running several doctor diagnoses in his head in order to distract himself from the feeling and the beautiful sight of Kurapika's leg. It had that typical feminine quality he usually found with the Kurta, but yet you could tell it was man's leg he was holding; delicate looking, but strong, and riddled with practically faded scars from battle.
As Leorio gently dabbed the wash cloth against the colorful bruise Kurapika was still sporting on his shin, the young doctor inspected the injury with his hands as well, trying to be as gentle as possible as he touched the sensitive area and gauged Kurapika's reaction to his prodding.
"Hmm, you were right," the tall emission user admitted as he finished washing Kurapika's foot. "You're shin isn't as sensitive as it was this morning, and the swelling has gone down tremendously. Since you can walk on it fairly well now, I bet you money that after a nice long soak in the hot springs and a good night's rest that you'll be able to walk one hundred percent by tomorrow morning…given that you don't strain it again."
Leorio sent Kurapika a light chuckle and a warm smile then that the Kurta easily returned, the lightest of blushes still dusting his cheeks. As the young doctor became transfixed at the sight, his brown orbs filling with wonder as his doubt began to resurface, he really got the impression that Kurapika wasn't disgusted with him like he had thought. Did that mean that Killua had been telling him the truth?
Before the confused doctor could think on his thought a second longer, he heard Killua start making a fuss on the other side of the room. Leorio, along with Kurapika he noted, turned their attention towards the irritable former assassin to see him hand his wash cloth to Gon with great reluctance, a vibrant blush spreading across his face as Gon started to wash his back. It seemed like Killua had been reluctant towards help when it came to washing himself as well.
As Leorio made that small comparison between the silver-haired teen and Kurapika, the older man also took note of how Killua's face looked similar to how Kurapika had looked for the majority of the Kurta's washing. Even though Killua was trying his best to hide his face behind his bangs and mass of long, silvery-hair, the other was blushing pretty obviously, and Leorio knew that it was because Gon was doing something intimate with him. Killua obviously liked Gon, and was probably even in love with him…and yet…the look on his face in that moment practically matched Kurapika's during the time Leorio was helping to clean the other up…
It was at that moment that Leorio realized he was still holding onto Kurapika's leg. With a flustered cry of sorry, the young doctor gently let go of his friend's leg and handed the wash cloth back to the other, since he was done with washing him. With that done, Leorio sat down on the stool next to his blond crush and started finishing up his own washing all the while trying to avoid eye contact with the Kurta as much as possible. Could it be that Killua had actually been right? That this was all a misunderstanding on his and Kurapika's part? Was…was Kurapika attracted to him like he was to the Kurta?
Sending a shy, hesitant glance the other's way then, Leorio's heart practically jumped out of his chest when he noticed that Kurapika was looking at him in the same way. The both of them practically jumped in their seats before they turned their heads away and continued with their cleaning, and Leorio was glad then to know that he had only seen Kurapika's face and not the rest of the other's un-toweled body. The very sight would have probably gotten him hard in seconds.
Trying to push those thoughts out of his mind, though, Leorio focused on what he had seen concerning Kurapika's expressions. The young doctor couldn't stop the small inkling of hope that started to flow through him. It…it really looked like Killua had been right.
As the doctor's nimble hand guided the washcloth over his body, Kurapika was unable to make the blush leave his cheeks. It felt incredibly good to have Leorio touch his body, even if it was only with a piece of fabric between them. It felt so much better than it should. The Kurta had a hard time keeping his body from getting too excited. The thought that the doctor only considered this an act of friendship and would never feel aroused by it like he himself was, was sad enough to help him keep his excitement down, though. Still, he couldn't keep the pleasurable shivers from running down his spine at the intimate touches or fully hide the soft moans that tumbled from his lips.
Leorio told him then that he would wash his hurt leg next. Knowing that the other's touch would still be a little painful in that area, the Kurta mentally prepared himself.
"Okay, go ahead," he stated once he felt ready.
The doctor was gentle when he prodded the bruise, and only a slight hiss escaped Kurapika at one point. The washing itself wasn't bad at all either, and when the other told him his diagnoses, the young Kurta smiled back at him.
"That's what I was trying to tell you," he answered and felt himself drawn in by the warmth in Leorio's chocolate colored eyes.
To his luck, some commotion was heard from the boys on the other side of the washroom. Kurapika turned his attention there before he could get too caught up in his hopeless feelings for the emission user. Killua was trying to put up a fight it seemed, but, of course, Gon wouldn't have that and just went ahead washing the silver-haired hunter's back. It didn't take a genius to see how both of them enjoyed the deed in their own way. Really, Gon was just too innocent to understand his own feelings; Kurapika was certain of this because of the adoring gaze the spiky-haired kid wore as he took his sweet time lavishing his friend's back.
Kurapika was brought back to his own situation by an apologizing Leorio then, who finally put down his leg.
"Ehm, no need to apologize. Just...just thanks for the help," Kurapika mumbled as the other man handed the cloth over to him to allow him the dignity to at least wash his privates by himself.
The doctor sat down next to him then to start on his own last bit of washing, too. Kurapika was only too aware of the other man's presence next to him. Why did Leorio have to be so close when he needed to undo his towel to clean the last bits of his body? And why was his stupid heart thumping so loudly in his chest to the point that the doctor was sure to hear it without a stethoscope? Kurapika's head turned towards Leorio then. Why was this sexy man so close and yet so far away?
Just at this thought, the other man turned his head, too, and their eyes met. Only too aware of his thoughts and feeling, like Leorio could see them written all over his face, the blond almost jumped out of his skin. Blushing profusely again, he turned his head away and concentrated on cleaning up as fast as possible.
He knew how useless his thoughts and feelings were, so why, why couldn't he keep them in check? Why couldn't his stupid heart believe his logical mind and do what was best for him? Kurapika wrapped his towel securely around his waist again.
"Are you ready?" He asked without daring to spare another look at the other.
Leorio nodded in assent, and the two of them left the bathroom after telling the boys they'd meet up in a moment. Kurapika followed the other man outside. For the first time, he saw the little garden that was hidden behind the sliding door to the hot spring. The centerpiece was a stone basin that was surrounded by the soft light of four stone lanterns. A soft, glowing mist billowed above the water's surface and gave it an ethereal feeling. The warm night air was still thick with the sweet smell of the tropical flowers that bloomed in the well groomed bushes surrounding the garden.
"Wow, this is beautiful," Kurapika breathed as he closed in on the basin.
There were some steps at one side for easy access. A little too aware of the doctor behind him, the Kurta stepped into the basin and only removed the towel right before it would have touched the water.
"No, this is beautiful..."
The words were a breathed whisper behind him. When he turned around to look at Leorio in slight shock, the doctor seemed a little shocked at his own words, too, but then a look of determination came over his face as he held Kurapika's gaze for once.
"L-Leorio...w-what...?" He stuttered out, unsure if he could believe what had just happened. Did he dare to believe?
They heard the sliding door then as the boys came out into the garden, too. Kurapika used the distraction and fled into the hot water that smelled slightly of sulfur and the usual minerals in the hot spring that were supposed to be so healthy for your skin. Unsure of what to think anymore, he fled to the farthest corner from the steps. When he dared to look again, Leorio had already entered the little pool, and was looking directly at him. The determination was still in his gaze and it made the Kurta's heart beat faster.
This wasn't happening...or was it? Leorio wasn't drunk. There was no way to push it off onto alcohol. Could the other man actually be attracted to him? Could he allow himself to believe? And even then, could he take the chance?
Whatever had been going on between Killua and Leorio was over when Gon entered the bathroom. His friend wasn't done yet with washing, but the beast hunter didn't want to leave again, for fear of another argument breaking out between the silver-haired hunter and their older friends.
"Ehm, I'll just go over there," Gon offered and pointed to the other side of the wash basin, giving Killua as much room as was possible.
While he washed himself, he chanced short glances over to his friend, who seemed lost in his thoughts. When he saw the other try to wash his back most unsuccessfully, he was up and by his companion's side in a second.
"I'll help you. Give me your wash cloth," he offered instantly with a smile.
That smile faltered when Killua told him that he didn't need his help and didn't want it either.
"But...but you can't reach back far enough! Why won't you let me help you? Tell me why you don't want my help."
Gon was looking pitifully at his friend then. He felt lost at the constant rejection. He didn't know if it was his gaze or the presence of their friends, who had stopped talking and were obviously listening in now, but Killua relented then.
"Okay, fine. Here!"
It didn't matter how irritable the reaction of his friend was, the spiky-haired hunter was just happy that he got to help out in the end. He took care to push the other's silvery mane over his friend's shoulder to his chest before he began to wash the other. Gon took his time to make sure every centimeter of the other's back was covered.
When he was done, he leaned down to the other one.
"Want me to put up your hair for you, too? Didn't that woman say it's a rule? Also, I'm not sure if the mineral water is too good for hair."
"Hm, okay. B-but nothing fancy!" Killua exclaimed.
"No, no. Just something practical," he tried to allay the other's fears.
The happy beast hunter got a brush, a hairband, and the pins he had given to Killua as a present. As usual, he enjoyed brushing the lush mane of his friend's hair, but, this time, he tried to keep any comments to himself to be professional about his actions. Just as he was putting in the last pin to keep the ponytail elevated enough so that it wouldn't droop into the water, Leorio and Kurapika told them they'd meet up in a moment.
"Okay, we're almost done, too!"
He turned back to Killua then.
"That should do it," he told his companion with a smile, once he was standing before him again.
The both of them were done a moment later, and headed outside into the garden, too. Gon went straight for the pool and threw his towel down somewhere at the side of it. He wasn't shy about his body at all, and saw no reason why he should be, especially around his friends.
"Woah! This feels really great! Killua! Killua! Come on! It's great!" The enthusiastic teen shouted from inside the hot spring.
That was it; Killua was going to end everything. Every. Single. Damn. Thing. He didn't know how exactly, or what exactly he was going to 'end' but that didn't stop the silver-haired teen from having the urge nonetheless as Gon started whining so that he had no choice but to let the other wash his back. And, for fuck's sake, why was Gon being so thorough about it?! How long should it take to clean another person's back?! Definitely not this long! Why, why, why did this have to be so torturous?!
Matters were only made worse for the former assassin when Gon mentioned about doing up his hair. Killua almost cursed under his breath at the reminder. He had completely forgotten! So, with that, Killua had no other choice but to allow Gon to do up his hair as well or the spiky-haired teen would send him that 'kicked-puppy-dog' look of his again.
…Damn it! Why did Gon have to comb his fingers through his hair in just the right way?! Killua didn't even know that there was a right way to do that! This was so not fair anymore!
Feeling more than ready to swear more than he ever had in his entire life from the sheer frustration he was feeling at that point, Killua barely noticed that Gon had finished with his hair and went back to finish washing himself up. The former assassin hurried to follow suit, even though he would have loved to stay behind in that moment so that he could actually think like he had planned.
Well, he guessed there wasn't much more to think about, actually. Hadn't his thoughts towards Gon the last few minutes been enough of an eye opener in and of itself? This…Gon was too much too deal with…too much for him…
An overwhelming sadness overcame Killua then. He knew that he had wanted to talk to Gon tonight about their future…but Killua was certain now of what it was that he actually wanted to say to the other. What he had to say.
As soon as Killua and Gon finished up with their cleaning a few minutes later, the former assassin followed his beast hunting friend out into the beautiful garden and towards the hot springs. Even though Killua was saddened by his current thoughts, he was still paying enough attention in that moment to notice the air between Leorio and Kurapika…it had definitely shifted into something different, although it was quite hard to tell by that point on what it was.
Whatever concentration Killua had in the moment was immediately cut short, though, when he saw Gon throw away his towel without a care in the world and he caught the fullest glimpse of the other's body he had seen in…well…months actually. He had purposefully been training himself to not look at the full extent of Gon's body, and he usually had time to prepare himself for that. Sadly, though, since he was too busy thinking and not paying attention to Gon at all, the young enhancer took him completely by surprise, and Killua suddenly had no idea what to do with himself or the pooling heat in his lower half.
When Gon called for him to join everyone in the hot springs, Killua had to seriously fight with himself. More than anything, he did not want to get into the water naked with Gon, especially after what he had seen (what a wonderfully horrible accident that had been), but, at the same time, he wanted to get into the water in order to avoid people seeing his growing problem and the suspicion it would cause if he so much as ran away from the hot springs as fast as his electrically imbued legs could carry him.
So, in the end, Killua decided to go with both of those desires…in a sense. In a flash, the young transmuter had thrown his towel to the side and slipped into the water, too fast for anyone to completely notice his problem, but at the same time, he got into the side of the pool that was farthest away from Gon. Killua just closed his eyes and sank into the warm, relaxing water and tried to ignore the concern and slightly upset look on Gon's face then as the taller teen sat across from him. Even when the other tried to talk to him, Killua would sink the majority of his head under water to show the other he wasn't interested in talking, even though the water actually kind of amplified everyone's voices in a strange way. Killua just needed…time to think…time to cope with the decision he had just made for himself.
He didn't know how long he was sitting there with his head partially under the water, but Killua didn't particularly care in that moment…At least, not until he realized he shouldn't be focusing on his own problems, but Leorio and Kurapika's strange circumstances instead. Wasn't the air between them thick with some sort of tension earlier?
As Killua opened his sapphire eyes then, he took in the fact that Gon was trying to have a conversation between both Leorio and Kurapika, but when the beast hunter was focusing his attention on Leorio and Leorio was doing the same, Kurapika would also stare at Leorio, but with a mixture of hope and uncertainty shining in his eyes. Then, when Gon and Kurapika switched their focus to each other, it was Leorio's turn to stare at Kurapika, and Killua would be lying if he said the way Leorio was looking at the Kurta was less than smoldering. So he had listened to his advice earlier and noticed Kurapika's reactions towards him? That was definitely a sign that he should get out of the water to give the other two some 'privacy'.
"I'm getting a little hot," Killua muttered out as weakly as he could then as he brought himself mostly out of the water and wiped his brow. "I'm going to head back in if you guys don't mind."
The silver-haired teen turned around then and climbed out of the spring as Kurapika bid him goodbye, Leorio instructed him to drink something cool and refreshing, and Gon…actually, Gon was speechless at the moment, and Killua didn't really want to see why.
After wrapping a towel around his waist, the younger blacklist hunter started walking towards the building again, but he stopped a short ways away from the pool as he remembered he needed to get Gon out of the water, too. He guessed it was now more than ever…
"Gon, I need to talk to you for a bit. It's important," Killua mentioned then in a serious tone as he sent a backwards glance his best friend's way. "Can you come with me?"
The spiky-haired beast hunter wasted no time in nodding his head and getting out of the water (Killua, thankfully, looked away fast enough this time) to follow him into the building. As they walked, Killua remained silent, but as soon as he shut the door to the outside behind them, he turned around towards Gon and placed a finger against his own lips and made a shushing noise, so that the other would know to not speak.
"I'll talk to you later, Gon," Killua whispered out quickly then, his sapphire orbs burning with a determined fire. "But right now, I want to see what Leorio and Kurapika will do in our absence."
And, before Gon could probably think about what was going on, Killua was applying his Zetsu and making his way back towards the sliding door to the spring outside. He quietly opened the door a little ways so that he could effectively peek outside, and then ushered Gon to come over and watch as well. Killua almost hated himself for doing that a second later when his friend applied his Zetsu and made his way over to the door, their bodies and faces close together along the opposite sides of the cracked frame so that they could both peek outside without a problem.
Damn it, he had just created more torture for himself.
Gon was very sad when Killua finally joined them, only to stay as far away from him as possible. Even his attempts at talking to the other one were ignored. He had no idea what he had done wrong or why his friend was behaving like this. Gon tried to not let it get to him too much, despite the hurt he felt. In the end, he stroke up a conversation with Kurapika and Leorio instead, just to distract himself from the brooding presence that was Killua.
Yet, even while he spoke to the other two, he had a feeling they were a little distracted themselves, although he had no idea why that was so. When Killua declared that the heat was getting to him and decided to leave the hot spring, Gon was a little uncertain. Of course he wanted to rush after his friend and take care of him, but he had a feeling the other preferred to be alone at the moment. Apparently, he was wrong about that in the end.
Killua called for him, told him they needed to talk, and asked him to follow. Eagerly, the beast hunter followed his friend and was at his side in a matter of seconds. As soon as they were inside their room though, Killua told him they'd talk later. Very confused, Gon followed the other's instruction and applied Zetsu so they could spy on Leorio and Kurapika again. So... the distraction he had felt from those two, was that because they were both thinking about each other?
Killua and him huddled close together before the small crack in the door to watch what was going on between their two older friends. Once more, Leorio told Kurapika that he loved him. But...he had told the other that in the morning, too. And what was there to misunderstand about it? He loved him like he loved his best friend. Gon was confused when Leorio told Kurapika that he was attracted to him too. What did he mean by that? Kurapika was saying and showing the doctor that he was a guy, but...but they all knew that. And a guy and a guy...
Gon's face scrunched up then. He felt like he was close to something here, but the confusion he felt and his forced attempt at understanding what was going on were overheating his brain.
He knew that he shouldn't have been looking at Kurapika as they walked towards the hot springs, but Leorio just couldn't help himself. The thought that Kurapika…that he could possibly be attracted to him…was almost too much for Leorio to withstand. He just had to look at the other, to take everything in to make sure he wasn't mistaken.
Before he even realized it, he was commenting on the beauty of Kurapika's naked form in the water, almost correcting the young Kurta on what he thought was more breathtaking. Leorio had been just as surprised by his own daring as Kurapika had, but the young doctor found that he didn't regret it once he saw slight hope spark behind the Kurta's hazel-brown irises, his own steeling themselves in determination as he made his way into the water. Kurapika had decided to sit as far away from him as possible then, but that didn't faze Leorio. In all honesty, he thought distance was the best under their circumstances, plus it would give him more time to analyze Kurapika's facial features.
Throughout most of their time in the water, Leorio's gaze hardly ever left the Kurta's beautiful body, the doctor's trained eyes trying to pick apart every emotion he saw flit across Kurapika's face. He just couldn't be seeing things! This…Kurapika had to feel the same way towards him! That's the only sense that Leorio could make out of the other's features. Kurapika's eyes were alit with uncertainty as well, so that had to be from his misunderstanding from earlier. It had to be! Killua had been telling him the truth!
Beyond certain by that point that he was analyzing everything correctly, Leorio hardly noticed when Gon started to talk to him. The doctor engaged him and tried to focus on his younger friend instead of Kurapika then. Just thinking that the other was attracted to him and sitting not too far away (and naked nonetheless) ignited every urge of desire Leorio had in him, so he definitely needed the distraction unless he wanted to end up embarrassing himself and Kurapika in turn. Thankfully, before the emission user could get too restless, Killua mentioned that he was hot. As the silver-haired teen got out of the water, Leorio distractedly told him to drink something to get himself rehydrated.
Just when he thought that the rest of his bath was going to be spent with both Gon and Kurapika, Killua actually called for Gon to come with him in that next moment too, and the beast hunter was only too quick to agree. Leorio watched for a moment as his two youngest friends entered the ryokan before he switched his gaze over to Kurapika's again. They were alone. They were alone.
The very notion seemed to hit Leorio like a ton of elephantsharks then. He was actually alone with Kurapika…they could talk…he could finally figure out if he had been correct…that Killua had been correct.
"Kurapika," Leorio breathed out breathlessly then, almost in disbelief as he gazed at the blond across from him with longing in his eyes. He could see Kurapika staring back at him with wonder and that mix of uncertainty again, but the doctor was going to make sure that the other wouldn't be uncertain for long.
"We…need to talk," the older man continued as he forced himself to remain seated, despite the fact that he just wanted to get as close to the other as possible. He really didn't need to scare the other off when he was so close to getting his answers. "I don't…" Leorio started out then before he stopped himself as if to rethink what he was going to say. He couldn't afford another misunderstanding, either. "I think you misunderstood me when I confessed to you in the park this morning," the doctor finally admitted as he licked his lips in slight nervousness. This was it, the final plunge. "Although I care for you, and you're very important to me…I don't care for you like a brother does to another brother. What I'm saying is that…when I said I loved you, Kurapika, I meant…I meant that I was attracted to you…"
Leorio gauged Kurapika's reaction then, hoping beyond hope that he wasn't the one who had misunderstood.
When the boys joined them, Kurapika felt a little safer. But even though he tried to concentrate on what Gon had to say, he found his gaze being drawn to Leorio again and again. He couldn't help but wonder if he actually had misunderstood the other man this morning. But how could that be? How could things have changed so suddenly between them? And if they had... if Leorio had decided over the course of this vacation that he 'loved' him, wasn't that just a fickle feeling?
Despite the cool, strong warrior that Kurapika had become, he felt fear. He felt the fear that only hope could bring with it. If he dared to trust in hope, would it get crushed again and his heart along with it? Leorio was a nice, kind man; he wouldn't do such a thing on purpose. But...there were still so many buts! And yet, when he looked at the doctor, he felt his heart flutter, and his body was full of longing for more of the other's touch, for another kiss.
Killua suddenly announced that he was too hot and left the pool. It was when he asked Gon to follow him that the Kurta's heart began to beat faster again. In a moment, he would be alone with Leorio; alone in a very romantic place. What was he to do?
Nervously, he glanced at Leorio as he heard the wet footsteps of his friend's recede back to the bathroom. When the sliding door closed, the doctor breathed his name. Kurapika felt a shiver run down his spine, even though the water was nice and hot. He swallowed and forced himself to look at Leorio directly then. It was only polite.
His friend was nervous when he spoke. What he had to say was the thing Kurapika hoped for with all his heart and yet, he couldn't quench his fears. After all the fighting they had been through these last days...How? How could that be true?
"L-Leorio...I...believe you; that you think that is what you're feeling. I know that I have these feminine looks about me...and...I can understand that you would be...confused. But I'm a guy." At this declaration, Kurapika moved from his seat to stand in the spring and show his flat, muscular chest to drive home the fact. "I am a man, and even if I could change that, I wouldn't want to. I'm not...I'm not what you want," he said softly, sadly.
The young doctor stared at Kurapika, completely taken aback. He had not expected the Kurta to…dismiss his feelings like that…like they couldn't be real. Even though he tried his hardest, Leorio let out a bemused chuckle at the similarity between Kurapika's current thoughts and what his thoughts had been when he had been in denial of his feelings.
"You know…I thought that way too when I first figured out that I saw you as more than a friend," Leorio stated honestly with a twinge of sadness in his tone. He lowered his eyes from the other in slight shame then. "I…I didn't want to believe that I was attracted to you. It was a complete shock, you know? To be attracted to women most of my life and then, suddenly, I start thinking of you in that way. It…It just didn't make any sense to me, so I assumed it was because of your feminine qualities…that my mind was just confused…I couldn't afford to be in love with a man anyway, and not someone whom I saw as one of my closest friends, especially. I didn't want to ruin something that was already shaky to start with, so I've continued to believe that way up until just recently, to remain ignorant to my feelings and push them as deep into my subconscious as possible."
When Leorio glanced up towards Kurapika again, his eyes shone apologetically, but there was a will of determination in them. He needed to make the other see that this wasn't some confused joke on his part.
"I started feeling that way during my first year of university…but, as the years went on…certain things kept on happening to shake my ignorance. I…I started dreaming about you. I seriously thought it was just because I missed you and because I was worried about you but…some of those dreams…were pretty erotic. A friend doesn't think of another friend in that way, you know? And then, to add even more to the fire, the women I kept taking to bed with me, over the years they started becoming shorter, blonder, their eyes became darker…Even though I tried to keep lying to myself, the facts were all before me and I couldn't run away from them. That just became even more evident once we met up again for this vacation."
Leorio stared intently into Kurapika's eyes then.
"When I was with you…I just couldn't ignore everything I felt anymore. I didn't want to lie to myself any more. When we started getting along again, I was so relieved and…I was so happy when I found out that you wanted to travel around with me in the future. You mean so much to me Kurapika that it was impossible to keep these feelings to myself in the end, even though I thought that you wouldn't feel the same way. I'm in love with you, and nothing is going to change that."
With steely determination Leorio stood up in the hot spring and started walking towards Kurapika.
"Yes, you're a man. I am fully aware of that Kurapika," the young doctor mentioned without a care as he drew up closer to the other. "And I've finally come to realize that I just don't care because, do you know what? Even though you're a man, you turn me on like nothing else."
With that said, Leorio wrapped his arms around Kurapika's body and brought the other close to him, the older man's more than prominent erection pressing into the smaller blond's stomach.
"How can I be mistaken when you do things like this to me," Leorio whispered out heatedly as he stared down into the other's eyes with desire, and pushed himself up against the other even more fully. "How can I be mistaken when I've loved every touch you've given me…every kiss we shared…"
Although Leorio chuckled at his words, it was in a bemused way. Kurapika listened as the other told him how he had denied his own feelings, and that he knew himself that he had always been attracted to women. Still, the other man tried to tell him that he was the exception.
Leorio hadn't looked at him when he explained this, but his gaze lifted then. To the Kurta's surprise, the doctor looked at him apologetically as he kept explaining his feelings. A new hope grew in the blond's heart when Leorio told him how he had fantasized about him. He thought of his own dreams of the doctor ravishing him then. When the other man went on to tell him about the women he had slept with, it didn't feel too good, but at least he understood what Leorio was trying to tell him. Could this really, really be happening?
The other's beloved chocolate orbs held his own hazel ones captive once more then. Kurapika felt his heart hammer in his chest. He wanted to believe the other. He wanted to believe so desperately! Leorio declared his love once more, and in so many words that resonated with his own feelings and his own fears. It was all he had ever dreamed of and it was coming true at a point in time when he had finally lost all hope.
With renewed hope, and yet still insecure, Kurapika watched the doctor stand up and slowly close in on him. With the doctor's next words, the Kurta forgot how to breathe. Wide-eyed, he stared up at the taller man, disbelieving of the words he was hearing. That was until two strong arms wrapped around him and drew him in. Kurapika was pressed against the other's firm body and an even firmer erection.
A surprised sound escaped the blond at the feeling. He felt lightheaded as the doctor's smoldering gaze melted every ounce of his resistance away. Kurapika trembled and moaned in the taller man's hold as the other's hard flesh pressed into him more firmly. This was all he had dreamed of and even more. Leorio told him then how he had loved their touching and their kisses before. Eyes shining with wonder and fear at the same time, Kurapika stared at his longtime crush.
"I...I've been in love with you for so long...I never thought you could...feel the same way. I was trying to hide my feelings, and then bury them. I couldn't bear to be around you, and yet I missed you like crazy. I thought I was over my feelings for you, but when I saw you again, it all came back with even more force." The Kurta's eyes shimmered with unshed tears now. "You are the only man...the only person I have ever loved. I...I need you to be sure. I...I couldn't bear if you changed your mind tomorrow, Leorio. It would...break my heart." The last words were no more than a whisper, the Kurta's voice broken by the deep feelings he revealed.
The usually cool and strong young man left himself open and vulnerable, hoping against hope that there was still a chance for the love he had been longing for.
As the seconds flew by, Leorio began to realize that he was actually holding Kurapika's naked body close to him. Just knowing that made him even harder for the other. The feeling of Kurapika's warm, wet skin pressed so closely to him was so overwhelming in that moment that Leorio almost missed what Kurapika said to him next. The young doctor was happy that he hadn't lost himself, because Kurapika confessed to him then, and let the last of his fears out. Just seeing the other so close to tears, so close to being hopeful for something good happening to him for once, Leorio almost felt like crying himself.
"Oh, Kurapika," the emission user spoke soothingly then as he felt tears begin to well behind his own eyes. Feeling overwhelmed then by his emotions, he cupped the sides of the Kurta's face without even thinking and swooped down to give the other a longing, desperate kiss. The kiss itself was a little too quick for his liking, and chaste, but Leorio was certain it got his meaning across, that it calmed Kurapika down and reassured him that he didn't have to fear any more.
As the young doctor drew away from the kiss, his mouth sucking gently on the Kurta's lower lip, he kept his hands in place and stared intently into the other's hopeful eyes, Leorio's own eyes flashing with fervor.
"Don't you think for a second that I'd change my mind over something like this," Leorio stated strongly, his voice slightly reprimanding. Just thinking that Kurapika had so little faith in this, in him, upset the doctor slightly, but he still understood. Kurapika just wasn't used to something good like this. "I would never hurt you like that," the young doctor continued then, his voice slightly cracking from the emotions he felt. "This is something that I want, more than anything else. I've never felt this way about someone before. Never. I've been with so many women but they meant absolutely nothing to me; they were just a means to the end for me as well as for them. I've…I've never loved someone as strongly as I do you, and I'd be damned if I ever let you go. The only thing I'd ever regret between us Kurapika is if I don't make up for the time that we've already lost…"
The taller man stared imploringly down into Kurapika's beautiful, watery eyes then, hoping beyond hope that the other would finally believe him, that they could finally love each other after all the years of torture.
Leorio spoke his name with utter tenderness, as his own eyes were shimmering with tears now. Kurapika's face was cupped gently, and a longing kiss became the answer his heart had needed. Even before the other spoke to him, his fears were laid to rest. He felt Leorio's desire so obviously pressed against himself and his reluctance to end the kiss so soon. The doctor's feelings for him were true, which made Kurapika unbelievably happy.
As he looked up at the end of their kiss, his eyes were still shining, only this time with hope and a growing excitement. His gaze serious, Leorio told him then that he should not doubt the truth of his feelings, and that he would never hurt him in this way. The doctor's voice became even more emotional as he told the Kurta that he had never felt this way about anyone else, and that all the women who went before him meant nothing. New tears welled in Kurapika's eyes as Leorio told him that he loved him again, that he would never let him go, and that he wanted to make up for their lost time.
Even as two tears finally rolled down his cheeks, the Kurta smiled. His arms came up to wrap around the taller man's neck.
"You're making me more happy than I thought possible. I had given up hope. I want this...I want you...I want to make up for all we have missed out on, too. I won't run away anymore. I won't hide. I love you, Leorio...I've loved you for so long." Kurapika looked up at the taller man, trying to pour all his love into his gaze. "I...I want to kiss you and I want to feel you," he whispered as he gently urged the other to lower his head.
Luckily, the doctor understood his intention and seemed as eager for this as the Kurta was. When their lips met this time, there was no holding back. Kurapika opened himself to the prodding tongue and moaned lustfully as Leorio ravished him. With his fears finally allayed, the heat of desire flooded his lower regions, and his own growing erection pressed into the other man's thigh as his tongue tried to keep up with Leorio's skillful muscle.
'Even though you're a man, you turn me on like nothing else.' This was the last sentence, not to say the last straw, that finally broke poor Gon.
Trying to understand what this all meant and knowing that it was somehow very important too, was just too much for him. He heard a rushing sound in his ears and tuned out any more conversation going on. His brain decided to shut down, concentrating on its main functions (mainly keeping the body breathing and alive) only.
Though he stayed in position and even saw Leorio hold Kurapika and the two of them kiss in a way that was absolutely different from the chaste kiss he had shared with Killua, it was just unreal. Gon's brain couldn't process the information that was fed to it anymore. The pictures were just stored for a later review, if and when a normal function was resumed.
A soft, yet triumphant smile spread across Killua's face as he saw Kurapika finally accept Leorio's feelings. As his two older friends shared a passionate kiss, Killua turned to face Gon, happiness shining in his eyes since they had finally achieved their goal, but whatever happiness the silver-haired teen felt was gone the next second. Gon's face was completely blank, like the whole scenario between Leorio and Kurapika hadn't fazed him in the slightest, like the whole thing meant nothing to him. Killua averted his gaze then, feeling the last bits of his own hope finally die. There was just no way that Gon could feel anything towards him, and now it was obvious that he didn't care for relationships like Leorio and Kurapika's. Not only that, but there was no way that he could stay around Gon with the secret feelings he held within him. He had no choice but to leave.
He couldn't stay here anymore.
Sucking in a shaking breath, Killua abruptly closed the door to the hot springs, which startled Gon out of whatever daze he was in.
"We should give them some privacy," the former assassin mentioned then as he tried his best to hide his eyes behind his bangs. "Let's dry ourselves up and get dressed again, and then go to our room."
With that, Killua walked towards the back area of the bathroom where he had placed his yukata and grabbed another towel to dry off with. Once he was dry, he put his boxers back on and his yukata, but before he could head to his and Gon's room, the beast hunter in question was calling out to him to help him tie his obi again. Killua just sighed to himself as he made his way over to Gon and helped tie the sash properly around the spiky-haired teen's waist.
"I…have to talk to you, Gon," Killua mentioned in a serious tone then as he busied himself with the other's obi. "It's really important and…I just have to bring it up now…but we should head back to our room first for privacy's sake."
Just as he said this, Killua finished with his task and he briskly turned around and headed for the bedroom without waiting for Gon's response. As soon as the silver-haired teen entered the room, though, he was surprised to see that a single, large futon along with a comforter and some pillows had been placed in the middle of the floor in place of their dining table. Well, Killua had to admit that it was convenient that Gon and him didn't have to set their own bed materials out, but why the hell was their only one futon?! Had Leorio accidentally booked the honeymoon rooms or something?
Suddenly, having a private hot spring made all the more sense.
Trying to contain the blush that spread across his face because the situation he found himself in should have been more depressing than it was embarrassing, Killua waited for Gon to enter the bedroom before shutting the door to the bathroom behind them. As soon as the sliding door clicked into place, Killua took a steadying breath as he prepared himself for one of the most difficult things he ever had to do.
"Gon…" Killua let out shakily then, despite the young blacklist hunter's best efforts to keep himself emotionless. "I…I'm pretty sure you've noticed my behavior the past few days, and I'm sorry for that. It's just that…I've been dealing with some personal troubles…"
Killua took another steadying breath as he found the courage to look at Gon then. The other was looking at him with concern and telling him that he could help him, that he didn't have to deal with things all by himself, but the young transmuter just laughed wryly at his best friend's attempts at helping.
"No, Gon, this is really something I can only deal with on my own. This is a personal issue, and I've found out that…I can't deal with it…not while I'm here…not while I'm being distracted." As the silver-haired teen stared into Gon's hazel orbs then, and saw how those same eyes started to widen in dawning realization, Killua could feel his heart starting to break. Gon was starting to look distraught.
"As soon as this vacation is over, Gon, I think it's best if we go our separate ways," Killua stated as strongly as he could muster, despite the fact that he felt like he was destroying the supports to his own body. "I don't know for how long I'll stay away…but I have to go…I have to have time on my own…I have to think…and when I've finally found what I'm looking for…then I'll come back…"
'…If I ever come back…' Killua finished off in his mind, his sapphire eyes flashing with anguish at the thought. These next few days could be the very last he'd ever spend with Gon.
As the door suddenly shut, Gon was startled out of his shutdown mode. He shook his head to try and clear it a little as Killua stood up. The young beast hunter followed the other as soon as Killua mentioned they should head back to their room.
"Ehm, yeah, I guess," he mumbled not really sure about anything at the moment.
Following the other's suggestion, Gon dried himself up and put his boxers and yukata on. Only when he held the belt in his hands did he look to his friend for help.
"Killu-aa! Can you put it on me again, pleeeease?" The beast hunter asked with a smile that soon faded when his friend looked at him so seriously. Something was up, and it couldn't be good, not with the way his companion looked at him as he started to tie the obi.
"But...but we are alone," Gon said softly after the other's retreating back, wondering what Killua might mean when he wanted to have more privacy.
Once more he followed after his best friend until they were back in their private room. Although he had been told so before by Leorio, he still looked amazed at the change in the room. It was kind of nice to have everything taken care of and set out for you. And with the futons and sleeping on the ground it almost felt like sleeping outside to Gon, which he liked a lot.
His trivial thoughts stopped the moment Killua started to talk. The young enhancer knew immediately that this was very serious. No matter how his friend tried to hide it, Gon could see and feel that he was nervous and that what he was about to say wasn't easy on him. It was here that the fear the young man had felt before grew again. He tried to fight the sinking feeling in his stomach, hoping it was something else his best friend wanted to talk to him about.
When Killua apologized about his behavior then and explained that it was because of personal problems he was fighting, there was only one answer for Gon.
"Why didn't you tell me? You don't have to worry and deal with it alone. I'm here for you! I'll help you," he said immediately, his concern for his best friend obvious. Yet, just as quickly he was shot down by Killua. As the other explained that he couldn't deal with it when he was distracted like he was now, Gon knew his biggest fear was just coming true. His eyes grew bigger as the other one was getting closer to the words he wanted to say. No explanation could make this alright. There was nothing Killua could ever say to make him understand his decision.
"You can't do this," Gon stated simply. He looked the other one in the eyes as his tense body started to shake. "You can't do this. You cannot leave. You promised, Killua." As fear threatened to overwhelm him in that moment, the teen decided to give into anger instead. His voice rose then. "You promised me, Killua! You promised to stay with me forever! You can't leave me! I WON'T LET YOU!" A trembling Gon screamed at his friend.
He wanted to reach out, throw his arms around the other, and hold him tightly against him forever so that he could not—could never, leave, but he knew only too well of Killua's strength and the danger he would subject himself to if he suddenly acted like that. Instead, he stood before the other one, shaking and panting.
"You can't do this to me...I need you. You are my best friend. I need you, Killua," Gon was begging of the one person that meant everything to him. "I will do anything you ask me to. I...I will never ask you to bathe with me again, I promise! I won't ever say anything about your sweets again. I will even buy you as many as you want! I will try to ask less stupid questions! Anything! Anything! Just tell me, Killua! Tell me what I have to do to stay by your side!" Gon was desperate and there were tears in his eyes now as he offered to change everything about him for the chance to stay with the one he cared for most.
Killua could only stare at Gon in stupefied horror as the other started shouting at him, demanding that he stay. The silver-haired teen felt a small trickle of fear enter him when he heard his best friend declare that he'd never let him leave. Just the mere mention of those words made the transmuter want to bolt, to run as fast as he could away from this place, from Gon, but he stayed his ground. He knew that Gon was just speaking out in anger like he had when he had asked him to help him flirt with girls. The other truly didn't know what he was saying at the moment.
Sure enough, a few seconds later, Gon's anger was replaced by an overwhelming sadness and fear as he begged him to stay with him. The beast hunter went so far to say what he'd do if it would make him stay with him, and the former assassin just felt sick with himself for causing his friend such pain. Gon was beginning to cry now, and Killua seriously couldn't handle the sight. He had never expected this conversation to turn so badly.
"You want to know what you have to do, Gon?" Killua muttered underneath his breath, his voice shaking with despair of his own. As he stared into his best friend's wet, hazel eyes, Killua could feel his own tears start to fall as well. "Let me go," the silver-haired teen answered his own question then as his sapphire eyes implored the other. "Just let me do this, Gon. Please. I don't want you to change a damn thing about yourself because the person who has to change is me! This is my problem, and I seriously can't address it until I'm on my own. Please, Gon," Killua started to beg without remorse by this point. "Don't make me run away from you. If you threaten to keep me here against my will, I'll leave of my own accord and…I'll probably never come back. I'd be too afraid to. I want to stay by your side of my own volition and not because you're making me!"
Killua took in a steadying breath then as he began to choke up. This whole conversation was turning out harder than he expected, and it was seriously breaking his heart. He wanted nothing more than to hold Gon close to him and tell him that everything was going to be alright, but Killua had no way of knowing if that was true.
"If…If you make me stay here, and I run," the silver-haired teen continued then as he hid his eyes behind his bangs and his fists clenched at his sides, "I w-won't be able to come to terms with my problems either. I'll be too focused on how ruined our friendship is. I don't need another distraction, Gon, I need your blessing. I-I know that I'm breaking my promise to you to a point, but I seriously need to go my own way so that I can hopefully keep that promise in the end. Because, if I don't leave now, Gon, if I don't leave after this vacation is over…I…I don't know what will happen to me…what I'd do…"
Feeling his own fears start to consume him then, Killua threw caution to the wind and started walking towards Gon. He needed to make the other understand so that he could leave peacefully, he had to or he'd truly lose everything!
"If you truly care for me at all, Gon, then let me go," Killua whispered out on trembling breath as he threw his pride to the side for the moment and hugged the other close to him, and buried his face into crook of the other's neck. "If you let me go peacefully, then I'd be able to focus on my problems, hopefully resolve them, and then I can come back to you, and we can spend the rest of our days traveling and being hunters like I promised. Please, Gon, I don't want to break my promise more than I already have!"
Killua held the other as tightly to him as possible then, his fingers digging into the other's back in desperation as he waited for Gon's reply.
"Yes. What?" The beast hunter asked as he looked at the other through the haze of his tears. He would do anything if it would just make Killua stay. The answer he got, though, was nothing like he expected. How was letting him go making him stay?!
Although the answer seemed ludicrous to Gon at first, he knew he had to listen to his friend. Just like himself, Killua had tears running down his cheeks now. Obviously, what the other was saying was hard on the blacklist hunter, but he was serious about this. Still, it was breaking the enhancer's heart. Why did he have to do the thing he feared most? How was he supposed to do it?
Yet the other's explanation, that the problem was with him and that he needed time on his own to work on that, was something Gon actually understood. He had been in similar situations. When Killua said that he wanted to leave in peace so he could return without fear, the spiky-haired teen felt horrible. He hadn't literally planned on binding the other or anything, but being clingy and making the other one stay by his side while he pressured him emotionally, wasn't any better, was it?
Again Killua told him how necessary it was for him to leave and how he intended to return, even if he wasn't even sure if he could. That was what really made Gon fearful. If he knew for sure it was just a separation for a set time, it would be so much easier! Killua even begged him for his blessing then.
"How can I?" The enhancer asked in a raw voice filled with pain.
His silver-haired friend stepped closer as he declared that, if Gon really cared for him, he needed to let him go. Even as the other asked to be let go, though, he wrapped his arms around him and buried his face against his neck. Gon was utterly confused. Contrary to his puzzled mind, his body just reacted. He returned the embrace, stroking his distraught friend's back.
"I want to give you everything you need, Killua", the enhancer said softly into the other's silky, silver hair, "but you ask for a lot. You won't tell me what's going on, and you don't let me help you. You want to leave me and you can't even promise me you'll ever return..."
Gon tried to come to terms with what the other was saying and asking for as he repeated the main facts. No matter how he looked at it, no matter how much it meant to him to do something the other asked of him, this was just the worst. It felt like his heart was being torn to pieces. He tightened his hold on Killua then.
"Can't...can't you promise me you'll return? I will wait. I don't care for how long. I will wait for you, if you just tell me you'll come back. Can't you? Please?" Gon begged in new desperation.
The head that was pressed against him moved in a negative gesture, and Killua mumbled that he didn't want to lie and make a promise he couldn't be sure to keep. New tears fell from Gon's eyes then as he held onto Killua like his life depended on him, and in a way it did.
"I can't let you go...I don't want to...and yet...I have to...I could never hold you physically...I'm not like your family. Still, this is killing me. Killua...can you...can you at least tell me that you want to return to me?" Gon asked very softly, close to the other's ear. He needed to hear something that would give him a little hope to make this bearable somehow. If Killua really, really wanted to return to him, then he would find a way somehow. He had confidence in his best friend's willpower and ability.
When Gon asked him if he could promise to return to him, Killua had no choice but to shake his head. He couldn't lie to Gon, or to himself in this case. Doing so would only cause more heartache if things didn't turn out the way they wanted them to. Because of that, Killua knew that he hurt Gon more, but what other choice did he have?! He was only trying to be fair to the other!
Killua could feel Gon's tears hit his cheek then as they cascaded down the taller boy's face and off of his chin. Since the silver-haired teen had his face pressed into the beast hunter's neck, it was only natural that he'd feel those tears meet with his own. Killua had no idea how much his heart could actually break, but it seemed like every gesture Gon did in that moment was like the enhancer was continuously using Jajanken against his heart, pounding against it so mercilessly until only dust would remain. If this continued, he'd turn into an emotionless zombie pretty soon.
Just as he thought this, Gon's voice softly whispered against his ear, begging him if he at least wanted to return. Upon hearing the other's words, Killua couldn't stop a tiny bit of amused laughter from escaping him. Talk about a stupid question. It wasn't like he was crying for no reason or anything, Gon! Man…
"Of course I want to return to you, you idiot," Killua laughed out quietly, yet affectionately as he unconsciously nuzzled against the beast hunter's neck. "I never wanted to leave you in the first place. I seriously tried to make things work, Gon…believe me…but the longer I stayed, the more I realized that you're too much of a distraction for me. I knew that I wouldn't be able to put my inner demons to rest unless I headed out on my own. I don't want to leave…but I have to…for both of our sakes."
Gon was silent after that, but he continued to hold him, his grip never lightening, but Killua didn't care. He basked in the warmth the other provided him, knowing that he only had a few days left with Gon for possibly a lifetime. Killua didn't care then that he wasn't supposed to be this close to the other. If these really were his last days with Gon then he was going to stick to the other as close as possible, take everything in, and give Gon the company he really seemed to want as well.
With this on his mind, Killua had no problems asking Gon to stay beside him that night. He was certain that refusal never even crossed his best friend's mind as they crawled into the futon together and snuggled underneath the comforter. Gon really seemed to be unwilling to let go of him for even a second, and Killua wasn't going to hurt the other more by saying he should stop. It wasn't like he wanted Gon to stop anyway.
Not knowing if he was exhausted from his tears or the fact that the comfort of Gon's arms around him was lulling him to sleep, Killua passed out only a few minutes after Gon and him got comfortable. He had snuggled against the other like that night that he had that emotional breakdown, and intertwined their legs to bring them ever closer together. Killua tried his best to ignore how easy it was to do, and how right it felt, in favor of losing consciousness to forget about his troubles for the moment.