AN: I know it's been a while! Blame my boyfriend for getting me addicted to RuneScape. Also, I'll be going on vacation soon! A cruise to Bermuda with my beau for a week (we leave on the 19th), but I'll be back soon and updating regularly! AND THE SHOW STARTS UP AGAIN SO SOON!
Hours later, unable to shake off the heavy silence that followed, Beth stood in front of Daryl with her tiny clenched fists. He looked up at her, unsure if she was waiting for him to speak - struggled to think of anything to say that didn't both start and end with the word sorry.
Daryl went to stand up from he spot on the couch but Beth shook her head at him. He could almost hear the cogs turning in her mind. From the pull of her bottom lip, he could tell she was sinking her teeth into it, and wondered if Beth could taste blood yet.
"So," Beth started, shattering the quiet, "is this how it's going to be from now on?"
"What'ya mean, girl?"
"For the rest of my life, no matter how long or short it might end up being, is this how it's going to go? When people know - when they find out about what happened to me? Is it always going to be like this - when they look at me, or touch me?"
"Beth -" Daryl began only for her to cut him off swiftly.
"No, Daryl. Because if this is how it's going to be - apologies and awkwardness and self-incrimination - I don't want it. Any of it."
"But -"
"I'm not finished!" Beth shouted, cheeks flushed with anger. "I know you didn't want to kiss me. Hell, I know most men won't wanna kiss me, not anymore, not the good ones - but -"
"Shut up, girl!" Daryl shouted back. "I ain't feelin' bad because I didn't want... it ain't about wantin' you... I just, it was an accident and I didn't wanna make you feel uncomfortable -"
"Nothing is comfortable anymore, Daryl," Beth said, "but I'm not some sort of porcelain doll. You don't have to act like I'm gonna fall apart at the slightest touch!"
Daryl was silent for a minute. He rubbed a nervous hand against the back of his neck. She looked at him, her blue eyes reading a challenge. Daryl took a deep breath, pushing down the urge to flee or lash out.
"Beth, you've been through a hell of a lot - more than I know - more than anyone but you will ever prob'bly know -"
"And I know I haven't always handled it the best. I've fucked up, Daryl. I know it. You know it. But I just gotta pull up my socks and keep on goin'. And it's hard to do when you look at me like a stack of cards about to be blown down."
"I hear ya," Daryl responded softly. "I didn't mean'ta. Y'know I think you're strongest person I know."
"Really?" Beth asked, surprise colouring her voice in a way that made Daryl annoyed with himself.
"Shit, girl," Daryl cursed. "Not many would still be standing - and the few that would wouldn't be half-way sane no more."
"You think I'm sane?"
"I said half-way," Daryl joked.
"Shut up."
"Don't think no one is gonna want ya, Beth," Daryl said, suddenly serious.
Beth walked to sit down next to Daryl on the sofa. She was trying hard not to look at him; Daryl watched her study her muddy shoes. He didn't know how to express to her her strength, her appeal. Like a daisy that fought of the frost and kept on bloomin' - she made everything around her so much brighter.
"It's just... after... you looked like you had killed a puppy or somethin'. Is it always going to be like that for me now?"
"Beth, I didn't look that way cause of what happened to you. It was... embarrassin'."
"It was?" Beth questioned. "Why?"
"Y'didn't mean to do it," he responded, picking at his cuticles. Daryl risked looking up finally to see her staring blankly at him. "Damn it, girl. I didn't know y'didn't mean to do it! Alright?!"
"You thought... you thought I - Oh," Beth breathed out.
"Yeah. Oh," Daryl muttered to himself. "And I know it was an accident. But just for a second... I just wasn't thinkin' and I didn't want you to think I was tryin' to take advantage. Cause, damn it, you're my friend, Beth."
"I know you wouldn't take advantage of me," Beth said to him.
"Good," Daryl grunted. "Good. Because it's important to me -"
Suddenly Beth's lips were on his own - he hadn't seen it coming - they were soft, and warm, and tentative. It was nothing more than a press against his own - a slight sigh. Their pink ripeness opening just for a second so he could taste her sweet breath and then she had moved away again. He looked into her bright blue eyes. She was studying him.
"You're my friend, too, Daryl," she said softly. "You're my best damn friend. And I don't know what I want, or what you want, but I know I never want to be standin' anywhere without you."
"Beth, you don't know what you're asking for."
"I'm not askin' for anythin'. I don't want anythin' to change, not really. I just want you and I. Whatever shape it takes, 'til this place burns down and takes us with it," she said hurriedly. "Please don't tell me no."
"Alright," Daryl said, unsure of what she meant or how to take it. She was blurring the black and white lines between them into gray smudge.
Beth fit her hand into his. He could feel every bone underneath her thin, pale skin. Daryl was sure if he tightened his hand as hard as he could, he could crush them, every single one of her bones. So fragile, so strong. Beth.
His Beth.