Charlie stood still on the pier till Joey's boat disappeared completely from the horizon. She was feeling a whirlwind of emotions, she felt sad, lonely, abandoned, heartbroken and at the same time she felt hopeful and loved. Joey still loves her and there is a chance that they could get back together. Joey wanted her to take the time and decide on what she really wants. In her heart and mind she knew already that she wanted Joey, she just had to get the world that surrounded her to accept it as well. What it came down to was to convey to people that she was the same Charlie Buckton, Senior Constable Charlie Buckton and her loving a woman didn't change who she was. But she was afraid of being judged and looked down upon for the simple fact of loving another human being, who just happens to be a woman.
The word gay frightened her, but she just doesn't see herself as gay. Joey was the first and up to this point only woman she ever was attracted to and had feelings for. At college she only dated men and doesn't recall ever having a crush on a girl. The label bisexual, seems to be the most fitting at this point, but once again Joey being the only woman in that category! And for God sakes, why must everyone have a label or fall under a certain category? The world is complicated enough without all the nitpicking on people's sexual orientation, she didn't fall for Joey, because of her genitalia. She fell in love with Joey for the wonderful, amazing human being that she is! She told Joey she was ready to walk on fire and fight everyone for her and now she has to get ready to put on the boxing gloves and stay true to her word. The gossiping storm had begun already, by now everyone or close to everyone in town knows about her affair with Joey! She just has to deal with it as best as she could, she just wished that she wouldn't be dealing with it alone. Joey her pillar of strength and courage had just left her behind to deal with it. Of course that's not the reason that Joey left her, but after what she did to Joey, she deserves to face the storm alone! Joey will always be present in her heart, mind and soul.
Charlie got home and decided to call in sick to work, the hangover from the night before and saying goodbye to Joey had taken their toll on her. She made herself some coffee and started to write a letter to Joey, she would write one to her everyday until she sees her again.
Summer Bay
April 29, 2009
Dear Joey,
I'm glad I got to see you and hug you one last time, before your new journey. I forgot to wish you a "bon voyage" and I also forgot to tell you how beautiful you looked. I wanted to kiss you, to feel your soft lips on mine and I could care less if the whole world was watching! I really don't know how I'm going to cope without you. Ruby is already starting to freak out and I don't blame her. I have to be strong for her, for you, for us and I'll try my best not to let you guys down. Time wasn't on our side this morning, I wanted to tell you so many things and most importantly I wanted to hold you in my arms forever! I'll be counting the days until I'm able to hug you again.
I know that your trust level in my regards is as low as it could possibly be (and you have every right to not trust me) but I want you to know that the Hugo mistake is just that a mistake, and I don't want to bring it up ever again! It was horrible and I still don't understand what possessed me to do that, I can blame Hugo, the alcohol, the pressure, the shittiest day of my life, but I only blame myself. If I could take it back I would in a heart beat. And I only lied to you because I couldn't bear the thought of loosing you over something that meant nothing to me.
Joey, I love you and at the end of the day that is all I really know with certainty! I hope I'm not boring you to tears, but I just wanted to get that off my chest and make sure that you understand where I'm coming from and what I'm feeling.
I hope to hear from you soon!
Love,
Charlie
P.S. You forgot your Ipod!
As Charlie wiped away the tears she kissed the letter and couldn't wait to mail it off to the sea... or send it the the boat company that hired Joey in the hope that she would be receiving it within a matter of days. Otherwise Joey better get an email address or start looking for bottle containing her love letters out at sea!