Paranoid
Thoughts were the very common companion when someone was alone and idle.
And Misaki was in a similar situation as Akihiko was out to attend a meeting. Various thoughts were loitering about in his head, but most of them were unresolved and confusing. But Misaki knew that everyone of them had the same answer which he was awkward and afraid to admit.
So Misaki tried to change the subject of his thoughts but he didn't succeed.
All his muse were about a certain famous and handsome BL novel writer, Usami Akihiko.
'Why do I always get so flustered when he is near me?'
A little red tainted Misaki's cheeks.
'Why does my heart beats so fast and something flutters in my lower stomach when he comes closer to me with that look in his eyes, Why can't I just resist him when I can feel he is going to kiss me? Why do I find it difficult to breathe when he is near me and looking at me like that?'
Misaki frowned as his heart drummed in his heart and his breathing grew erratic and fast.
'Why do I lose control and let him do as he wants? Why does my body shiver and feels weird when he touches me? Why do I always worry about him so much?'
Misaki buried his head in the crook of the hollow made by his arms around his folded knees. It was so confusing and embarrassing.
Misaki couldn't do anything but feel his body getting hot and a warm and gentle feeling evolve in his heart when he asked the last question to himself.
'Why do I always want to be with Usagi-san?'
Misaki knew the answer but he felt like crying to confess the truth, he didn't know when it happened but it was so strong and pure that he couldn't stop it anymore.
'I love you Usagi-san.'
Misaki mumbled silently and closed his eyes.
Misaki smiled when he recalled the deep voice of his lover saying the same answer to him with so much of love in his eyes.
'Guess I am getting paranoid without Usagi-san, please come home soon Usagi-san…'
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A short drabble at last….