After an hour at the gym, Charlie heads to the beach to jog for an hour, before going home to cook dinner for everyone. She's feeling good about the progress she is making with herself and today she is really hopeful that she and Joey have a real good chance at working things out and getting back together. The separation is extremely hard on her, but she is slowly but surely finding positive signs. She is now more certain than before that Joey is her soul-mate, that her love for Joey is pure and true. It's not a phase or an experiment she's trying on for size. It burns deep inside of her like nothing she's ever felt before.
Everyday that passes she is aware of what she wants out of life and is embracing everything that comes her way. Before Joey she felt like a robot, a human with no emotions, a cop on patrol twenty-four/seven. Now she's taken off the blinders and is liking the world around her, even the negative parts, such as people's ignorance and prejudices. But life when you're in love is the most amazing journey. She can't recall ever in her life feeling so much love for another human being, her sister and parents are out of the equation. So, she knows that what she's fighting for is good and worth all the pain and headaches. She'll be heading out of town to visit her parents with Ruby next weekend, to tell her dad and Morag that she has fallen in love with a woman. She has no idea how they are going to react to it, but she rather be true to herself and not be ashamed or hide anymore. She would rather wait for Joey's return, but she doesn't want Joey to deal or witness anymore anger, pain and hurt. If her father was to disown her, she didn't want Joey to feel guilty about it, Morag was going to have to accept it and if she didn't then it was her lost.
She was terrified at the thought of her father freaking out, but she wants to get this off her chest now that she has found the courage and most importantly, she has found the love of her life.
Summer Bay
May 4, 2009
Dear Joey,
You have no idea how happy your call made me today!!! I tried calling non stop for about an hour, with no such luck. I have your sweet voice going over and over in my mind, like the tender kisses you would give me on my neck. My body, mind and soul were given a jolt of joy and happiness, like never before. It felt great and it made me feel alive again! When the call dropped my heart dropped as well, that's why I went crazy trying to reach you again! Last night, I kept hitting the redial button as though I was trying to be the 10th caller in a radio contest. You should send me a chart of where your boat is heading next, that way I can see when you are going to be close to shore and then I'll be able to reach you and hear your sweet voice again.
Today I've decided that it's time I tell my father and Morag about how I feel about a certain woman....tell them how madly in love I am with her and how I couldn't live without her! I think you know who the lady in question is! It feels right and it's the last step I have in liberating my heart, to be happy and content with myself. I'm not ashamed anymore, I never understood why I had to be ashamed of my feeling for another woman to begin with, but I will admit that I'm afraid of their reaction, but I don't care and therefore Ruby and I will have a very interesting weekend coming up. I'll be thinking of you every step of the way, as long as you are in my heart, nothing can hurt me or destroy me. Your love makes me invincible, makes me stronger than I ever felt before and above all makes me happy beyond anything I have ever experienced.
The jog on the beach today felt good, not as good as when we jog together, because I have no one to race home with! But I've been keeping my mind and body busy day in and day out. The more occupied I am the less self destructive I become, Ruby hates it when I mope around and drown my pain in beer, so I've been cleaning up my act with some positive results. Ruby is also missing you like crazy! She loves you too and she can't wait to see you again! We both are counting down the days till we get to embrace you and hold you in our arms, I personally can't wait to kiss your soft tender lips and feel the electricity you send up and down my body. Or the way you run your hands down my back as you.....I just took a shower!
I love you more than words can ever express!
Love,
Charlie
P.S. I'm thinking on getting a boat license!