Payson knew she was in trouble almost the moment she stepped through the door, "Mom? Becca? I'm home," she called, dragging her suitcase down the hallway. She left it near her bedroom door and made her way towards the kitchen.
"Mom?" she said, seeing her mother searching through the refrigerator. Her mother didn't turn around and didn't respond.
Payson bit her lip. She saw the picture. She leaned on the kitchen counter and waited. Finally, her mother turned around, three potatoes in her hand and glared at her. Setting the potatoes on the counter, she handed Payson the peeler and proceeded to stir something on the stove. Payson picked up the peeler and started the task when her mother slammed the spoon down on the counter and reeled on her. "What exactly were you thinking when you took that photograph, Payson?"
Can't tell her I was thinking about Sasha and that night in the trainer's room. Wait, she means what was I thinking generally, that I allowed it to happen. Payson shrugged, "I don't know. You knew I was doing this. We talked about it. You said as long as I felt comfortable doing it, that you supported me. I'm not topless, it's not offensive in anyway. MJ was thrilled. Austin thought it looked amazing."
"Austin?" Kim narrowed her eyes suspiciously. "Austin was at the photo shoot?"
"He tagged along. He didn't have anything to do before we came home other than sit around at the hotel. I don't understand why you're reacting this way. Don't I look good?"
Kim shook her head, "It's not about whether you look good or not, Payson. You look amazing in this photograph," she said, pulling out the copy she'd printed out at the office today. "It's about the image you're presenting. What do you see when you look at this?"
Payson shrugged, "I see me."
"Is that you, though Payson? Really?"
"This is ridiculous. I'm not twelve, Mom. The photographer told me to think sexy, to think about someone I wanted and to pull him in with my eyes and that's what I did. This is the result. Is that so hard to believe?" Damn it, too much information.
Kim looked at her daughter, speechless for a moment, "And was that someone Austin?"
Payson slammed her hand down on the counter, "I have no interest in Austin Tucker. It was fantasy, Mom, an ideal, nothing else. The Olympics are two years away and I'm the best gymnast in the World. You understand that right?"
"Of course I do," she said and sighed. "You know it would be okay if you did like Austin, right? Despite the 'no dating rule.' It's normal to have feelings for boys, even if you don't want to feel that way."
She resisted the urge to roll her eyes, "I do like him, just not in that way. He's a friend," Payson said. "Actually, he's more like the annoying older brother I never had," she said, recalling the noogie he'd given on a Los Angeles street after they'd had dinner with MJ.
There'd been paparazzi everywhere and they'd definitely gotten a picture of it: him grinning like an idiot, arm around her neck, her arms flailing uselessly as he messed up her hair. She was sure the picture was going to show up in a tabloid with some fun caption like, "The Aerodynamic Duo" or Lord help her, "Paystin."
Gotta make sure I talk to Kaylie before that comes out.
Then, while they were at the photo shoot, he'd physically tossed her into the water after the photographer had wrapped and he and MJ sat under a cabana deciding which photo to use. He called it their celebratory swim, a victory lap. There had been no spark, no tension, just some splashing, a couple dunkings and laughter. He was definitely like a brother.
Kim sighed, "Still, Pay, this expression, really? You're only seventeen years old. You couldn't have gone with that bright smile of yours?"
Payson shrugged, "I did. They must have taken hundreds of shots, Mom. The photographer thought this one was the most honest."
Kim snorted, "That's LA for you. Of course he'd think the only photo where you were pretending was the most honest of the bunch."
Payson grimaced and began peeling the potatoes, "Did, uh, did Sasha see it?" she asked, not taking her eyes off the potatoes.
Her mom laughed, "Yeah, he did. Honestly, I thought he'd be horrified, the last thing he wants is for you girls to be exploited in any way, but I was more upset about it than he was. I think he might have expected it."
Payson nodded, "And Dad?" she asked.
"Just be glad he's in Minnesota and not here. He wanted to sue the photographer." Payson cringed.
"You guys do realize that this one photograph will pay for my entire first year at UC Boulder, right?"
Kim frowned at her daughter, "We do in fact realize that. That's not the point. Are you sure you're comfortable with this photograph, Payson? Earlier this year you were so uncomfortable; you're not just doing this to prove something to everyone, are you?"
Payson sighed and held up the photograph, "Look at this picture, Mom. Really look at it. Do I look at all uncomfortable with myself? I thought you wanted me to be proud of my femininity. Well, there is it. I'm proud of how I look. I'm proud that girls are going to look at this and want to look like me, I'm proud that guys are going to look at this and be attracted. I don't see how it's a bad thing."
Kim shook her head, "That's great, honey. I'm not sure your father will see it that way, but…" she trailed off.
"I'm going to go see Kaylie to see how she's doing with the whole pseudo-house arrest, treatment stuff. I promised I'd stop in a visit her before I left, but I never got the chance." After Sasha's phone call to Alex, the Cruz parents, who fought over practically everything, finally agreed on something. Kaylie needed help. She hadn't been back to the Rock since, spending every day with a specialist on anorexia, working her way back to a normal weight and a healthier outlook.
Kim nodded, "Okay, oh and do me a favor? Stop by the Rock on your way back? Becca and the other level 8 girls stayed late tonight. It'll save me a trip."
"Sure, I wasn't going to stay long at Kaylie's anyway."
The ride to the Cruz's was a quick one, but it was like entering another world. Their house still awed Payson.
"Hey Leo," she said, as Kaylie's older brother exited the front door just as she was making her way up the front walkway.
"Oh, hey Payson, how'd Cali treat you?" he asked, with a smile.
"Not bad, glad to be back. Is Kaylie home?" she asked.
His smile drifted away, "Yeah, she's up stairs. Go on in."
Payson took the path she'd taken so many times before up the stairs and to the left to Kaylie's room. She knocked.
"Come in," she heard Kaylie's voice call.
"Hey," she said, popping her head in, seeing Kaylie on her bed flipping through a magazine with a thick black marker in her hand.
Her friend looked up and smiled, "Hey, Pay," Kaylie said, her enthusiasm level much higher than Payson expected. The last time they'd seen each other, Kaylie had been listless and very quiet.
"Uh, Kaylie, what are you doing?" Payson asked, seeing the magazine had a bunch of big black X's on the page.
"Therapy," she said with a mocking tone. "My shrink said to go through this magazine and X-out all the photographs that represent an unrealistic body image."
Payson cringed, "Wow, that sounds, awful," she said and Kaylie laughed.
"You have no idea, but I really don't want to talk about therapy. It's going okay and I'm doing okay, but I want to hear all about California and your photo shoot and that's a great outfit, did you get that in LA?"
Payson looked down; it was one of the outfits she'd received from Lucky Brand Jeans, one of her endorsements that had come in the same day as Gatorade. "Thanks, yeah, it's amazing. Now I have money to pay for things like this and no one will let me, they just give it all away for free."
Kaylie laughed, "Yeah, its crazy. So tell me about the photo shoot. Do you know what picture they're going to use, how long did it take? What kind of bathing suit did you wear?"
Payson smiled, pulling the photo proof from her bag, "Here it is, but just so you know, it was airbrushed and don't brandish that marker, it's the only copy I have," she said and handed it over to her friend.
"Oh my God, Pay, you look amazing. God, you look so sexy. Your parents must be freaking out," Kaylie predicted.
"Give the girl a prize!" Payson shook her head and sat down on the bed. "My mom and I talked about it, but I think she thinks I should be more uncomfortable with it. I kind of like it though," she said with a sigh. "Austin was there." She broached the subject carefully. She knew that despite her friend's protests that she had feelings for Austin and they were very different that the sisterly affection she carried for him herself.
"Uh, yeah, I know. Lauren told me," Kaylie said, suddenly finding a loose thread in her duvet cover very interesting.
Payson pursed her lips, "I bet she did. Look Kaylie, you've got nothing to worry about. I am not interested in Austin and he's definitely not interested in me, at all. I just wanted to let you know, there's probably going to be a picture. MJ took us out to dinner one night and Austin decided to give me a noogie outside the restaurant in front of about thirty paparazzi."
Kaylie nodded, "Why would it bother me? I'm not interested in Austin Tucker."
Payson sighed, "I just thought I'd let you know." She's so delusional. "So when do you think they'll give you the go ahead to come back?"
'As soon as I'm 'ready to deal with the emotional and physical pressures of training as an elite athlete in a healthy and responsible way'." She shrugged helplessly.
"Wow, is that an exact quote?" Payson asked, "Because I think I might have smacked someone if they said that to me."
Kaylie nodded, "Yep, problem is that he's right, the doctor who said that, I mean. I was being so stupid and I can't go back to train until I can deal with it."
"Well, we all really miss you. I can't wait til you come back."
Kaylie laughed, "Yeah, you just want me back so Sasha can divide his attention between four elite girls again, instead of three. Emily said he's becoming unbearable."
Payson shrugged, "I don't mind, but it would be great to have you back."
Kaylie picked up the picture again. "So exactly how much airbrushing was involved?"
"Oh, tons," Payson said with a smile. "Actually, not as much as I thought, but they can do it right there at the shoot now. It was so cool watching them do it."
"And that lovely tan you have?" she said, indicating that they now almost shared a skin tone, by putting their arms side by side.
"Spray on," she shared, "it'll be gone in a week or so." Payson suddenly had the burning desire to spill everything to Kaylie, from the spontaneous kiss well before the World Championships to the intense encounter just before she left for Los Angeles. Not being able to talk about this completely sucked.
"It's really good to have you back, Pay."
"It's good to be back."
Sasha planted himself in front of the vault, watching the Level 8 gymnasts do Tsukahara tucks repeatedly. "Good Becca," he said, watching Becca Keeler land the vault flawlessly. Doesn't have the natural talent of her sister or the drive, but she's definitely NCAA material at least, if she wants it. "Alright, ladies, excellent job tonight. You'll pick up tomorrow. Becca, Ashley, you two will be adding a half twist, remind Tara when she starts vault with you tomorrow."
"Yes, Sasha," they chorused together and scurried off to the locker room. Their parents had begun to wander in, having been told to pick the girls up at 8:00pm sharp.
He nodded to the group hovering around the door and sprinted to the office before anyone could corner him about when their little darling would be ready to move on to Level 9. He stepped into his office and couldn't quite believe what he was seeing. Payson was sitting on his desk, flipping through a magazine.
"Uh, hi," he said, though it was more of a question.
He hadn't expected to see her until the next day and now he felt like he'd somehow been caught with his pants down. She looks amazing, old boy. In her picture she'd been dripping with pure sensuality, pulling him in with her eyes and the soft curves of her body. She looked softer now than she had in the photo. Her hair was dry and cascading down her back in soft blonde waves. She was wearing a long sleeved denim shirt with the sleeves rolled up, on top of a pretty cream colored cotton blouse and a white skirt with blue stitching. Her legs were crossed, her top foot jiggling to a silent rhythm. That's one thing the picture hadn't captured. She had great legs, muscular and toned, as all gymnasts' were, but with a leanness to them that she'd developed with hard hours in the gym to compliment her new artistic style.
She's absolutely beautiful and she's yours, if you're willing to wait. If you can be a gentlemen about this and stop bloody attacking her every time she get close.
He cleared his throat to alert her to his presence.
"Hey, sorry," she said hopping off the desk. "I saw that horde of parents coming and I really didn't feel like…"
"Being flattered by people twice your age hoping you'll somehow rub your talent off on their daughter and magically transform her into an Olympic champion?" he guessed, having had that feeling a time or two in his life.
She laughed, "Exactly, I'll just go grab Becca," she said.
"She's changing," he said, stepping just close enough that he could smell her shampoo and something different, a new perfume maybe. "How was LA?"
She groaned, "Busy, really busy. I'm so glad to be back. MJ was a slave driver and Austin was such a pain in the ass. I can't believe how much we got done in three days."
Sasha smiled, "I heard about your photo shoot today," he said, smirking at her.
"I know, my mother told me. You know, you probably should have been a bit more outraged. She thought you'd be more upset about the magazine exploiting me," Payson said, deliberately mocking him a bit.
He laughed and took a step closer, "More like you exploiting them. That picture is going to put you on the bloody map: world class athlete by day and the object of every male age twelve to ninety-two's fantasies by night. I just wish I'd been there to see it myself. You looked absolutely spectacular, love." Bloody hell, there you go again. Take a step back, Beloff. There are twenty parents standing not ten feet away from this very spot and her little sister is going to come looking for her any minute.
Payson smiled at him and titled her head sideways a little. She took a step closer so they were nearly pressed together, but not quite. "Well, it's a good thing they let me keep the bathing suit then, now isn't it?" she said, brushing past him and out of the office, ostensibly to go find her sister and go home.
Sasha let out a shuddering breath. He walked to the window of his office and watched her retrieve Becca from where she was talking to a few of her friends. They left the gym quickly, Payson glancing up at his office one last time before they exited. Even from this distance he could see her eyes sparkling in amusement. She was going to be the death of him. But what a way to go, Beloff. You'd die a very happy man.