A.N.: Here I am again, with a third chapter for you all! I hope you enjoy it as much as I enjoyed writing it!
"Harisson!" The innkeeper looked up from the book full of tables and numbers to the redheaded girl running in between the tables of the inn towards him. It was still early, and there were few people in; Those who didn't have the energy or desire to make themselves a meal before heading to their various jobs. "Harisson!"
"Petra." He smiled at the young girl as she jumped on one of the stools. "Good morning. How can I help you today?"
"Teach me how to cook!" He cocked an eyebrow at her.
"Good morning to you too." She blushed at that, looking to the side.
"Ah, good morning!" He nodded, satisfied. "Teach me how to cook!" Persistent, wasn't she. He tilted his head at her, curious.
"First thing in the morning, you run here and ask me that? What brought it on?" She blushed even harder, if that were possible, before looking down and mumbling.
"...Iz a secret." His eyebrows flew into his hairline. Oh?
"Alright. I can respect that as long as it's nothing bad, and won't get anyone including yourself in trouble." She quickly shook her head.
"No no! It's to prepare for the future!" He sighed. It didn't look like she would be telling him after all.
"Why not ask your parents for that?" She pouted.
"They're busy! And it's like, home food. You make..." She vaguely gestured to the door leading to the kitchen. "Like, job food!" He felt pain in hearing his cooking described so, but chose to accept it for the compliment it was.
"I suppose so. Do your parents know you are asking me?" She blinked, before shaking her head. He sighed.
"Go and ask your parents, and if they agree... I'll consider it." The bright grin he was exposed to was worth the trouble this could cause, he supposed. He frowned. Oh Od, he sounded like Lady Beatrice. He'd only met her once as well!
"Yay! Thank you, thank you! Subaru will..." She eeped, covering her mouth. Harisson, sensing an opportunity, grinned wide, leaning forth.
"Ooooh? Subaru you say?"
"Okaythankyoubye!" With that, she was gone in a flash. He blinked in surprise. She was quite fast when she wanted to be.
It didn't take long for her to return, dragging her exasperated father behind her. Harisson gave the man a sympathetic smile.
"Hello there." He greeted.
"Hey Harisson." The man nodded to him. It always surprised Harisson how quick the villagers had been to start addressing him casually. "Sorry to bother you with this... I imagine you're quite busy." Harisson shook his head.
"It's fine, it's fine. I just wanted to make sure you were okay with this, cooking does involve sharp tools and hot surfaces." The father winced.
"Yeah... but at least she'll be within eyesight of other people instead of running off to dangerous places." Petra looked down shamefully. She wouldn't be forgetting that incident for quite some time it seemed. Harisson glared at the red number floating above her head.
"Of course. In that case, I'll check my schedule and figure something out." He looked to Petra. "Say, you mentioned Subaru last time. Have you seen him recently?" She nodded.
"Hm! Not for very long, but he's visited a couple of times. He was talking about some kind of date, and was all disguised." Harisson sighed. Since Subaru's mysterious words a few days ago he hadn't seen the young man. It was getting to him.
"I see. Thank you Petra. If you see him again, could you tell him to come visit? I'd like to discuss some things with him." Petra blinked owlishly at him.
"Are you and Subaru fighting mister Harisson?" He stuttered, shaking his head.
"Wha... no, no! Nothing like that. Just a conversation we need to have." He smiled reassuringly. "Nothing bad, I assure you." He hoped. Given the nature of what he wanted to discuss... who knew how it would go.
"Oh, okay!" She grinned. "I'll pass the message then!"
"Well, I have to head back to work." Petra's father sighed. "It was nice seeing talking Harisson. Please take care of my daughter." Harisson rolled his eyes.
"Haha. Very funny." As the two departed, he frowned, looking down.
Those words Subaru had said last time... clearly the young man was aware of his power. Even some of the specifics of it, such as the fact it involved a number. However, he'd also seemed surprised when Harisson had read the red number above his head, so he didn't know everything. Still, how had he come across the information in the first place?! It wasn't exactly some amazing secret, but neither did Harisson go around screaming it under every roof. And he was certain he'd never mentioned it to Subaru.
Or... had he? He had the weirdest feeling he might have let something slip. And yet, for the life of him, he could not recall anytime he would have.
How frustrating.
Regardless, there was no way Harisson could ignore the white whale in the room. That dread number above Subaru's head.
Seven.
Seven deaths.
An impossible number. One that did not seem to surprise Subaru, and wasn't that the damndest thing. It raised horrific implications, but so many possibilities were there that Harisson felt ill equipped to decipher them. He was no mage, no great scholar. He was an innkeeper with a normally useless ability.
He also did not want to imagine that Subaru may have suffered seven deaths.
And yet, if he did... Od.
He shook his head, focusing back on his tasks. Speculation would lead him nowhere but dark paths. He needed more information from the source itself. It would not do to make meaningless assumptions. He'd already done enough of that already.
A face pale, showing hurt but no surprise. Resignation dwelling heavily in purple eyes. He closed his eyes, frustration rising along with shame within him.
To have a chance to go back, to make it right, to avoid that mistake... He sighed once more. No, that wasn't right. There was no use in wishing for the impossible. He needed to make things right. Starting with a proper apology.
With that, hesitantly, he carefully ripped a page of paper from his book of accounts and started writing a letter.
Standing in front of the gates of the mansion was as nerve wracking as he'd expected. Which is to say, very.
He hadn't expected his request to visit the mansion to be successful. In fact, he wasn't even sure why he'd done it. Perhaps the knowledge of how unlikely it was for someone like the royal candidate to come visit his inn, even if it was one as close as his was to the manor she resided. But he couldn't simply let the matter lie.
"Mister Harisson." The red haired maid spoke from behind the gates. "What an unexpected surprise to see you here." Harisson blanched, quickly patting himself down.
"Oh, oh no, did I get the wrong date? I'm so sorry, I'll..."
"Mister Harisson. I was merely jesting. Goodness, getting yourself worked up for so little... how shameless." Harisson felt his cheeks grow red with embarrassment. "Lord Roswaal instructed me to let you in. You mentioned in your letter a dual purpose to your visit?" She mentioned as she opened the gates, letting him through. The sight of the mansion was certainly awe inspiring; He'd seen noble homes in the city before, but they had nothing on the sprawling estate of the Mathers family.
"Y...yes! I wish to discuss the supplies the mansion orders from us with whomever would be most appropriate, and if possible have an audience with Lady Emilia." He hadn't dared ask for a private meeting, afraid it would be misinterpreted. If there were to be people around during his apology, well... it would be humiliating, but it would not be enough to stop him. He would right his wrong.
"Hm. How forward of you. I believe Barusu may want to have a word with you on the latter." Harisson winced.
"Oh Od, did I do something to offend him? I am sorry, I'm not too familiar with custom and etiquette for these things..." Ram stared at him with what could have been amusement, boredom, annoyance or complete indifference. Harisson simply could not read the maid.
"Oh dear. You have no idea do you." Harisson felt his anxiety skyrocket at these ominous words.
"No, I'm afraid I don't..." He gave a short bow. "Would you be willing to enlighten me, Miss Ram?" He asked. He hoped he wasn't being too rude.
"How amusing. I would have thought such an obvious fact would not have escaped your attention." She shrugged. "Barusu has the biggest crush on Lady Emilia this side of Lugnica. It is quite pathetic watching him flounder in his advances." Harisson found himself frowning at that.
"It seems a little rude to mock him for his feelings." She gave him a glance as they arrived near the front door of the manor.
"Hm." She didn't answer. "Well, Lord Roswaal is currently taking care of some documents, so it would be best to start with the audience with Lady Emil..." She opened the door, only for a finger to be thrust a mere centimeter from Harisson's nose.
"I WON'T HAND OVER EMILIA-TAN TO YOU, YOU BASTARD!" Harisson stared in shock at the furious looking Subaru. Well, not so much furious, more... defiant? "I WON'T LOSE!"
"Ah, Subaru, I believe you're misunderstanding things her..."
"That is right Barusu. You had better keep your guard up." Ram commented, Harisson giving her a wide eye look.
"Miss Ram?!" Was it him or was there a tiny smirk on Ram's face?
"Damn you Harisson! I trusted you!" Subaru dramatically cried.
"Wait wait! You've got it all wrong! I'm not interested in her like you are!" He exclaimed in response. Subaru squinted at him.
"You suuuuuure?" Harisson quickly nodded.
"Yes! Yes, I'm sure!"
"Well why the hell not?!" Subaru exclaimed angrily. Harisson whimpered at the sight.
"I..." What did he even answer to that?
"Barusu. Your insecurities have troubled our guest enough." Harisson wanted to scream she was responsible as well. "We must not keep Lady Emilia waiting."
"Fine, fine." Subaru rolled his eyes stepping aside to let Harisson through. As he did, Harisson felt something being slipped within his pocket. He could not help the slight surprise look on his face before continuing through as Subaru declared: "But you are so making me, like, a full course meal when you're done!" Harisson looked carefully at Subaru. There was something else there. The outrage was too put on, too exaggerated.
Had this all been an act to get an opportunity to sneak this paper past Ram? Harisson found himself both impressed and concerned by the shrewdness of the move. What could warrant such discretion?
He had no time to dwell on this as Ram led him through the mansion. The place was immense, larger than any building he'd ever been in. The sheer amount of wealth on display was astounding. Nobility sure was something else. He supposed such was expected of a man of the renown of Lord Roswaal. Still, it did nothing to help calm Harisson's nerves. He felt out of place. Small and insignificant. Perhaps that was the point.
The walk was spent in silence. Ram did not seem the kind for small talk, and Harisson was too nervous to try and initiate it. Eventually, they reached what he could only assume was their destination. The closed door was one of the most daunting obstacles Harisson had ever come across. Thankfully, it wasn't one he had to overcome himself, as Ram put him out of his misery and knocked.
"Lady Emilia. Your visitor."
"Ah, right, yes!" The voice sounded surprisingly nervous. "Of course! Come in!" Ram did not hesitate, swinging the door open.
The room was less richly decorated than he would have expected. Certainly it fit in with the rest of the manor; Large and comfortable, with decorations and beautiful furniture. But after seeing the rest of the building, he'd expected the room the Royal Candidate would greet people in to be... more imposing. Instead, it was a decently large sitting room, with Lady Emilia sitting on a large couch near a table. Even Harisson could tell she looked incredibly nervous. Her legs were held tight, her posture was far too rigid, her smile strained. She didn't look annoyed to see him at least. That was a start.
"Mister Harisson, the innkeeper of Arlam." Ram introduced him, gesturing at him. "Lady Emilia, candidate to the Royal Selection." Harisson took a deep bow.
"Thank you for granting me this audience your majesty." Emilia immediately went ramrod straight, shaking her hands.
"A...Ah! It's no worries, no problem reaaaaally!" She quickly answered. "And um, it's fine to just call me Emilia! I'm not queen yet, so majesty is a bit much I think!" Harisson rose back up, trying to conceal his own nervousness.
"I... I do not think it would be proper of me. Would Lady Emilia be fine?" She seemed to hesitate before nodding. "Then, thank you Lady Emilia. I appreciate this chance you have given me." He glanced behind him as the door closed, Ram standing next to it. It wasn't quite cutting off his exit, but it showed she had no intention of leaving the two alone. That was fine. He could do this.
"It's no problem!" She hesitated, before adding: "Um...the..." She stammered. "The food was good!" Harisson paused.
"Huh?"
"The food!" She blushed, embarrassed. "I... I didn't get to say thank you!" He blinked.
"Oh, you mean with Subaru..." He smiled, some of his nervousness leaving him. "I am glad to hear it." She nodded, seemingly satisfied that she got to say what she wanted to say.
"So, um, how can I help you?" She asked, giving him a slightly less worried smile. Harisson's own quickly fled at the reminder of what he came for. He clenched his hands together, trying to gather the courage to say what he needed to. His hands were pearled with sweat. The seconds passed, stretching into an awkward silence as he kept his eyes down, closed. Then, he bowed, as deep as he could.
"I am sorry." The words rushed out of his mouth. An admission of guilt. The rest followed soon enough, a flood unleashed by the breaching of the silence. He looked up, knowing he did not deserve the comfort of avoiding her eyes as he spoke. She was staring at him wide eyed. "When you came to my inn, during that terrible night..." He saw how her eyes dimmed slightly with the memories of the event. In the back, Ram's hands clenched around her cross arms. "I... I reacted in an abhorrent manner." Emilia's eyes filled with a sudden understanding. A pained smile came to her lips.
"Ah, it's alright, you have nothing to apologize for. It's normal for people to react like that to me." The words racked at his guilt.
"It is not." He furiously answered. She seemed caught off guard. "It isn't alright, not in the slightest." His hands were white so hard he was clasping them together. "You came with concern for your friend, here to help with the mabeast issue. You... you exhausted yourself healing Subaru." He shook with frustration. "And I still couldn't help but react as if confronted by the Witch herself." He forced himself to continue despite the stricken expression on Emilia's face. "I acted out of fear. A reaction born from prejudice, born from tales and from legends. It is shameful. No, it was pathetic!" His nails dug into his skin. "To think I acted so... it still shames me even now. There is no apology I can do to take back my actions." He shivered. "I did not come seeking your forgiveness. I am not so presumptuous as to think I am worthy of it." He took a deep breath. "But to leave things as they are..." The hurt. The resignation. How fucking *used* she must be to such reactions for her to have so quickly moved on, with not a word towards it. And he contributed to it. "I couldn't do that." He rose to his feet. "Lady Emilia. You are no Witch. You are no monster. You..." He gulped. "You were a far better person than myself that day. You still are. And I am deeply sorry that my actions might have, even in part, led you to believe otherwise." He bowed deeply. "I can only hope my words reach you and can mitigate some of the damage my actions have caused." He kept bowing. His courage had ran out. He dared not look up, face the look of scorn that no doubt awaited him...
"Mister Harisson." Her voice was so soft. So fragile, as if it was about to shatter at any moment. "Please. Look at me." He took a deep breath, closing his eyes before doing as she asked.
She had the most beautiful smile on her face.
"It must have taken a lot to come here and say this." He did not dare answer. He barely even dared to breathe. "Thank you." The words were so sincere, so soul shatteringly sincere that he could not help but shake his head.
"My Lady, please, I deserve no thanks..."
"Mister Harisson." He stopped. "That apology meant more to me than you can possibly understand." His eyes widened in shock. There were unshed tears in her eyes. "Thank you." He stared. Stared at her relieved expression, at the beautiful smile that blossomed on her face. At the twinkle in her eyes, such a contrast to the dimness from earlier.
This was the person the people called a monster? The one they called the Witch?
Od, how could such a mistake be possible?
A disbelieving laugh escaped him.
"Od... to think I..." He shook his head. "You are far too forgiving Lady Emilia."
"I've always found a thank you better than saying sorry." She softly answered, a gentle smile on her lips.
"...Is that so?" He whispered. "In that case. Thank you for showing me the failures in my own reasoning." He gave another deep bow. "If it is alright with you, I will leave you be." He'd said his piece, and heard her response. And that expression of happiness on her face... he was satisfied. His mistake was, at least in part, rectified.
"Oh, right, you wanted to discuss with lord Roswall." She nodded. "Of course, do not let me hold you up!" He gave her a relieved smile.
"Thank you Lady Emilia. You are always welcome in my inn." He noticed her expression falter a little. "If anyone gives you any trouble in my establishment, they can take the door out." She blinked at his surprisingly fierce tone.
"Oh. I see." She blinked, looking away. "Thank you mister Harisson." He shook his head disbelievingly. She was thanking him? What nonsense. Ram opened the door, letting him exit, closing it behind him as she followed into the corridor. He looked at her, a nervous smile on his lips.
"So. Do you believe Lord Roswaal would be available, or should I go wait a little further."
"Lord Roswaal will receive you now, mister Harisson." Without another word she turned away, leading him further into the mansion. As they passed yet another corner, she spoke up. "Why did you apologize?" Harisson blinked, confused.
"I'm sorry?"
"Lady Emilia. You came to apologize for your attitude." She did not look towards him. "Why?" He felt a little confused.
"Well... I was extremely rude. And I hurt her through my actions." He tilted his head. "Isn't it natural to apologize?"
"You are hardly the first one to react this way, nor the only one to flinch in her presence." She mentioned. Harisson had a feeling that even if he could see her face, he'd be hard pressed to understand why she was asking him these things.
"Even so... That doesn't make it better." If anything, it made it so much worse. "I let my ignorance and my prejudice hurt a good person. Isn't that reason enough?" She did not answer for a moment. "It didn't feel right leaving things as they are."
"Hm. How shameful of you." And yet there was no bite in the words. He chuckled.
"I know right? How presumptuous." She snorted.
"I wish Barusu would be so self-aware of how he makes the people around him suffer. He has much to apologize for to me." Harisson was taken aback.
"Huh? What did he do?"
"The fool somehow managed to seduce my sister. She will not stop talking about him." Harisson felt a grin spread across his face at the irritation in the maid's voice. "It is infuriating to hear someone as wonderful as my dear foolish little sister so infatuated with the lowest of the low." Harisson sighed in mock sympathy.
"Ha, I see, I see. You have my deepest sympathies." He tilted his head. "Still, you can't deny he did an amazing job during the mabeast event. Surely that makes up at least a little for it."
"Barusu's conduct was... passable." That was all Ram was willing to concede it seemed. "Lord Roswaal. We have arrived." With that, she knocked on the large door they had arrived at.
"Please do enteeeeeer, the doooooor is open." The muffled voice made him stand at attention. The nervousness he'd slowly lost in his apology to Lady Emilia and conversation with Ram returned in full force. The door swung open, leading to a fairly small office by the standards of what he'd seen of the mansion so far. "Greetings, Mister Harissoooooon." Harisson stared at the man behind the desk. Their appearance was... unexpected. Of course, Harisson had heard that the Margrave had a peculiar sense of style, but he hadn't expected it to look so... well. He wasn't sure how to describe it, truly. The pale makeup with purple shapes, the frankly excessive amount of style put into the clothing... and yet somehow the man pulled it off. It was astounding. It would have been easy to judge the man little more than an eccentric buffoon from his looks alone.
Harisson, on the other hand, was utterly intimidated.
The Margrave. The strongest magic user in the country, by a long shot. Harisson had heard tales of what magic could do, though he'd never been the most exposed to it. He'd heard of legendary feats, of channeling fire and ice, of buildings razed in a single sword strike. To be classified as the strongest mage... what sort of power must one wield?
"L...Lord Roswaal." His mouth was dry. "Harisson Obser. I thank you for granting me this meeting." Lord Roswaal gave him a pleasant smile.
"But of cooooourse. I am aaaaalways available for the people of my domaaaaain." A quick hand gesture saw Harisson take a seat in front of the table. This time, he noted, Ram did not remain in the room, closing the door behind her as she stepped out. It made him surprisingly nervous. "Soooo. How can I heeeelp you?" Harisson found himself glancing at the numbers above Roswaal's head, a jolt of surprise running through him. The black number was, as expected, zero. The red number though... seventeen. What could have possibly brought such a powerful magician to near death so many times?!
"Ah, I wish to discuss the delivery of supplies." He pulled out the large ledger where most of the affairs regarding the running of the inn were contained. "As I am sure you were informed, I recently took over from Aris, so I thought it would be a good opportunity to see if there were any changes in the regular deliveries you wished to implement..."
Lord Roswaal, unsurprisingly to Harisson, was incredibly well educated in financial matters. It was a relief to Harisson, although he was certain that if the Margrave had been so inclined, Harisson would have been utterly outplayed and left with an incredibly poor deal on his hands. Thankfully, they didn't seem interested in that, and instead simply discussed the finer points, what sort of supplies would be delivered and the amount. Harisson had to admit himself a little taken aback by the sheer amount of eggs ordered, to which Roswaal himself seemed a little pained. Something about Rem and a project of hers. It wasn't any of Harisson's business though, and so he simply noted it down. He'd have to contact some more suppliers for that one.
"...And I think that will do." Lord Roswaal finished. Harisson noted, finishing writing down the last of the instructions.
"Understood Lord Roswaal. I will see it done." The Margrave gave a satisfied nod.
"Exceeeeellent. I value compentency highlyyyyy. I hope to be impreeeessed." Harisson chuckled nervously as the Lord laughed. No pressure then.
"I won't take anymore of your time then Lord Roswaal." He rose to his feet, giving them a bow. "Thank you for taking the time to see me."
"But of couuuurse. Oh, before you leave..." Harisson felt his curiosity rise as the Lord leaned forward, a strange look in their eyes. "I understand our Subaruuuu has visited you a few times?" Harisson blinked, surprised.
"Um, yes Lord Roswaal. He visited in order to pick up supplies."
"I seeeee. And did you notice anything... peculiar?" Harisson felt his breath catch. There was something... knowing in the Margrave's eyes.
"I... I can't say I have, my Lord." He didn't want to trouble the Lord of the mansion with what he'd seen. Partly to avoid Subaru any awkward questions before Harisson could have a proper talk with them, and partly... the intensity of the Margrave's eyes scared him.
"Hmmm I see. Thank youuuu very much mister Harissoooooon." There was a gleam in Lord Roswaal's eyes as he smirked. Harisson felt like he'd made a mistake.
"O...Of course My Lord." He couldn't get out of the room fast enough, finding Ram waiting in the corridor outside as he closed the door behind him. She gave him a look as he did his best to compose himself, trying to hide how shaken the last words of the Margrave had left him.
"I will escort you out Mister Harisson." He nodded wordlessly. The walk to the gates of the manor was done in silence. As he headed back to the village, Ram spoke up. "Please do not think ill of Lord Roswaal. He is merely concerned for all within his domain, and seeks to ensure their safety." Harisson sighed.
"I can imagine. It's a lot of responsibility for one man." He shook his head. "Must be the nerves. Most powerful mage in the world after all!" He didn't add anything else as he walked off. Once he was out of sight, he took out the paper within his pocket. His brow furrowed.
Well then.
The sound of knocking made Harisson look up from the counter.
Right on time.
"Come on in." Without further prompting, the door swung open allowing Subaru inside. The butler immediately scanned the inn. Empty, as requested by the note on the paper. "That is an amazing level of precision. Not one minute early or late." Subaru grinned.
"Cellphones are amazing like that." Harisson tilted his head at the unfamiliar word. "Anyways, thanks for going along with my request. I can imagine closing the inn like that is a big pain, even if only for a few hours."
"I won't say it wasn't a bit awkward, especially on short notice like that." Subaru winced. "But I think I can do allowance in this case." The black haired youth's expression hardened, nodding at his words.
"Thanks for that." He walked up to the counter, sitting on the stool. Wordlessly, Harisson handed him a glass of Appa juice, making the boy chuckle. "Hey, it's like I've become a regular. Don't even have to ask."
"Of course, mister Natsuki." Subaru glared at the grinning Harisson.
"Oi! Don't make me kick your ass." Harisson raised his hands.
"Fine, fine, ruin my fun." The innkeeper's expression grew serious. "So. You mentioned you wanted to talk." Subaru nodded.
"Before that... Sorry if I come across as paranoid, but are you sure the place is empty?"
"Checked and double checked. No one will overhear us." Harisson assured. He glanced at Subaru's numbers. Two and seven still. As horrible as it was to see those numbers in the first place, it was reassuring to see they hadn't moved at least.
"Cool. Cool, cool..." Subaru clasped his hands together, twiddling his thumbs. "...Alright. Then... let's talk." He looked at Harisson. "Your power. It allows you to see how many times a person has died right?" Harisson nodded. "And how many times they've brushed death." Another nod.
"I would like to know how you found that out. I mean, the only people who I really told this to were my parents and my old boss." Maybe a couple other people, but he hadn't kept track perfectly. Subaru chuckled darkly.
"See, that's the big issue. I don't know how much I can afford to tell you." Harisson frowned.
"What do you mean?"
"Let's say that there are... restrictions on what I can say. And I'm not sure how severe they are, how far they spread. All I know is that the punishment for breaking these restrictions is far too high a cost to risk. I..." He gulped. "I want us to only ever have this conversation once. I don't want to be hurt." Harisson had to admit, he hadn't expected that.
"Is someone threatening, Subaru?" The boy grinned without joy.
"Ha! Yeah. Yeah I guess that's it." Harisson tilted his head.
"Then we should inform the Margrave. Regardless of who they are, they cannot possibly hope to stand against the strongest mage in the country." His eyes widened. "Unless..."
"No. I can see where you're going, and I'll tell you now it's not Roswaal." Subaru sighed. "I don't know if Roswaal can protect me from them. I don't want to risk it." Harisson felt a lead weight settle in their stomach. Whoever was threatening Subaru, if even Roswaal couldn't defend them... Od.
"Alright. Let's say we don't tell Roswaal." His eyes flickered upwards. "Am I right in assuming that it has something to do with the numbers above your head?"
"..." Subaru's lips quivered. "I don't even know how to answer you. I'm..." He sniffled. "Fuck, why can't I just come out and say it?!" Subaru's scream caught Harisson by surprise, making him jump in surprise as Subaru slammed his fist into the counter. "Why do I have to tiptoe around this, so scared of what will happen if I don't?! Why can't I just say that I can..." Subaru's expression contorted in deep pain, Harisson's eyes widening in alarm.
"S...Subaru!" He reached out, grabbing the boy by the shoulders as he doubled over in pain, letting out a raspy cough. "Are you alright?!" Stupid question Harisson, he berated himself. Did he look alright?! "What happened?!"
"This is what I mean! I can't even get close to saying it! I..." He hiccuped. "I probably look insane right now!" His eyes were bulging as his face contorted into a truly distorted expression.
"Subaru..." Harisson whispered, distressed. He had to admit, Subaru did look utterly crazed there. If Harisson didn't know better, he'd probably dismiss the boy as some raving lunatic. But those numbers above his head... and the sheer pain in the youth's eyes. Harisson couldn't bring himself to dismiss them. "I... I am unsure what it is you cannot say. But I believe you."
"Huh?" Subaru's disbelieving expression hurt Harisson's heart to see. The boy looked so broken.
"I believe you when you say you cannot speak of it. It clearly hurts you to do so." Harisson tried giving a reassuring smile. "So. Let's take a deep breath, and you can tell me how I can help you."
"Help...me?" Subaru muttered. "But... why?" Harisson frowned.
"Isn't it obvious?" He poked the boy on the forehead. "Your expression right now is screaming 'help me'. How can I just ignore that?" He grinned, refilling Subaru's glass. "Now, come on. I get that you can't reveal much to me, or even anything at all about your predicament. But now, I know at least a little. That's got to count for something right?" He watched Subaru's expression waver, tears gathering at the corner of his eyes. "You're a good person Subaru. Anyone can tell that." A hiccup escaped the broken boy. "So tell me what I can do to help you."
"I... I can't tell you what's going on. I won't be able to tell you the details, the why, the how." Subaru sobbed, his nose running as tears poured down his face. "You'll think I'm crazy."
"I don't think you're crazy." Harisson softly answered.
"It hurt so much. I... I tried so hard. So hard to get everything right!" It hurt so much to hear the pain in his voice.
"And you did. Everyone is alive and safe. Petra. Mild. Meina. Cain. Dine. Lucas. Rem. Subaru." Subaru's eyes grew wide at the last addition. "All of them made it home safe and sound. Many people participated in this, but it couldn't have been done without you."
"But it could have gone so wrong!" He wailed. "It did go wrong! So, so many times! All because of my stupid incompetence!" His expression grew pained as Harisson brought a hand up.
"Don't. Don't risk hurting yourself." His tone was firm but gentle. "What matters is now. Tell me Subaru." He looked into the teary red eyes that the children had told him were scary yet kind. He couldn't help but agree with them. "Was it worth it?" Subaru hesitated, before nodding. "Would you do it again?"
"As much as it hurt... as horrible as it was..." He sniffled. "Yeah. Without hesitation." Harisson shook his head.
"Then next time, I want to be there to help you." Subaru gaped at him. "You cannot tell me why your numbers are that high. I accept that. I do not want you to risk the wrath of whoever holds your words hostage for my sake." He smiled widely. "But you don't have to carry this pain alone. I won't ever ask you to explain why you are hurt. I won't ever ask you to give me a reason for your tears." Subaru sobbed loudly, his sleeve coming up to rub his tears away. "But you do not have to deal with the hurt by yourself. No matter what you say, or how strange, odd, insane or impossible it might sound, I will believe you." Harisson reached out, patting the boy's head. "So tell me what you can, what you want. Share your sorrows, your pains, your hurt. And if I can help you, I will. And if I cannot, I can at least attempt to offer comfort."
"...Why?" Subaru asked in a croaking voice. "We... We barely met a week ago. To you, I'm just... some guy. Some... some fucking loser!" His words were full of self hatred.
"It feels like longer." Harisson joked. It was the truth however. It felt like he'd seen this young man many more times than he could remember. "And as to why... why do I need a reason? You are here, hurting. You can't seem to be able to tell anyone why, despite how hard you have fought for them. For once however, my power seems to actually be able to help me reach out to someone. The numbers above your head tell me something is wrong, and even if you can't tell me what I know there is something there I just can't bring myself to ignore." He extended a hand forward, Subaru looking at it with a hesitant expression. "Do I need more of a reason to want to help?" He winked. "And well, if you really need one, consider it a first customer premium." Subaru let out a strangled laugh.
"You... you are impossible man. That's so cheesy." Harisson blushed slightly.
"C...cmon man, I thought I sounded cool!"
"Nah, don't get me wrong, it was plenty cool." Subaru cheekily answered, rubbing his tears away with a happy grin. "But fuck man, was it cheesy."
"I don't even understand what that expression means!" Harisson angrily exclaimed before being brought to silence as Subaru grabbed his hand.
"If it's alright... then... I guess I'll rely on you then." Subaru gently spoke. Harisson's expression softened. "...if I ever come to you, and I ask you to do something for me... Please do it. Don't... don't ask questions, don't hesitate. I know it's a lot, and incredibly arrogant of me to ask..."
"I trust you Subaru." The raven haired youth closed his mouth at Harisson's words. "Without you, I wouldn't have been able to serve Petra a glass of juice yesterday. I wouldn't have been able to hear Cain's mother rant about him getting his clothes dirty again. So much would have been lost." Harisson nodded to himself. "All you need do is say the word, and I've got your back." Then, hesitantly. "Will... will it help prevent the numbers above your head from increasing?"
"...I hope so."
"Then that's all I need to know." He released the butler, a happy smile spreading on his face. "Now. How about we start right here? What can I do for you?" Subaru chuckled, pushing his now empty glass towards the innkeeper.
"You can start by refilling my drink, for one." Harisson grinned.
"Coming right up, sir."
"And don't call me sir."
"Of course... Subaru."