During that time when Guy was staying with the Earl of Gloucester - in the first years as a page, then as a squire after he turned fourteen - there had often been an opportunity for him to participate in the feasts that the Earl hosted, as the man simply loved to host elaborate - and sometimes excessive - festivities. Needless to say, Guy was not in a position to enjoy himself to the same extent as the Earl's guests, for after all he was not a visitor in this household. However, even in the early years when he had to serve as a page at the Earl's table, the festivities represented a chance for him to encounter a world that was not familiar to him from back home. Of course, there had also been feasts there, but he was never allowed to take part in them. As a child he had not understood the reason for this - he only had felt abandoned - only later had he recognized that this was due to the fact that Sir Edmund had not wanted other people to become aware of his wife's bastard, even if no one could have known that he was in truth not a Gisburne.
It was a different story with Gloucester. The Earl treated him no differently than the rest of the pages - why should he? - even though he had "earned" a reputation for not being particularly skilled after just a short time, at least as far as tasks at the table were concerned. In the weapons yard, on the other hand, no one had any reason to reproach him for anything like that. But despite these occurrences, he received the same treatment and thus, the time he was gone from home could have been really good for him, if he had only been able to make friends as quickly and easily as the other boys.
But even as a seven-year-old, he had been both hurt and disappointed too many times to let others get to him so easily. As he got older, this did seem to be improving somewhat, but that was only due to the fact that he had learnt to show the rest what they wanted to see - at least to a certain extent - but he had also realized that it could be helpful for him to seek out the company of certain people. But there was never a time in his life when it was easy for him to get into a relationship with someone, and the fact that he surely wished he had friends did not change that.
Therefore, it was rather surprising that at Christmas in the year when he was promoted from page to squire he formed an acquaintance with Lady Cathrène, the widow of Baron de Magras, a woman who had sought refuge with the Earl during the previous summer. If he struggled to establish relations with the other pages and squires, this was even more true with the much older Lords and Ladies, and Lady Cathrène was certainly one of them - in his opinion. Yet during the Christmas holidays she managed in a relatively short time to not only engage him in conversations, but even to get him to agree to further talks.
His behavior could be the result of the fact that the Lady did not demand anything from him and also did not press him in any way. The first time, she had simply asked his opinion about the offered food - at last he was able to properly enjoy it this year, since he had no longer to serve at the Earl's table as a squire. She had listened to his answer in an attentive and earnest manner and then thanked him sincerely.
The following day she showed up in the bailey, just when he had been busy with the horse that was owned by the knight who had accepted him as squire. Guy took his new duties very seriously, for he was glad that his stepfather had not been successful in his attempt to influence this assignment. The man had repeatedly threatened that he would not allow anyone to take him on as his squire. For this reason, he did not want to give Sir Geoffrey any cause to regret his decision. The knight was not the most cheerful of the Earl's retainers, but he took his responsibility to train young Gisburne very seriously. Moreover, he was a kinsman of the Earl, which had also an impact on Guy's standing at Gloucester.
However, it was not these kinds of thoughts that went through Guy's mind the moment Lady Cathrène inquired if he would like taking care of the horse. He had not been aware that it had not escaped her notice that he had passion for these beasts and felt really comfortable around them. While she had no way of knowing that he was nowhere near as suspicious of people who made him feel like they understood him in this regard as he was of anyone else, she had gained ample experience in her lifetime to guess something of the sort. In that way she actually managed to engage him in another conversation, and afterwards she was quite sure it would not be the last one.
Perhaps it was due to Lady Cathrène's talents that he did not give it a second thought when the older woman asked him if he would keep her company on that evening. Guy, who had already feared that he would be alone most of the time during Christmas – even though this worry did not change the fact that he much preferred to stay at Gloucester over the holidays rather than to return to Gisburne - was only too happy to answer her question in the affirmative. On top of that, he realized very quickly that Lady Cathrène was someone he could easily converse with, and he also liked the fact that she made no demands on him. She never told him what to do, never expected him to do her bidding, but always asked him if it would be all right for him to carry out this or that, and then awaited his answer. As he did not notice, however, that she never bothered to ask him about anything that made him uncomfortable, he was able to enjoy her company. The kindness she showed him helped him overcome his reserve and also his shyness. After just a relatively short time, he did not mind spending time with her during the holidays. However, he had not noticed that the dissimilar couple was observed very attentively by some people.
After the end of the holidays, he no longer had so much free time, but he still managed to meet with the Lady from time to time, and therefore he could furthermore enjoy talking to her about all sorts of subjects. By and by, she even managed to converse with Guy about topics that he was not so comfortable with and then he even could bring himself to ask her for advice on some matters. She does not fail him either, as she offers her advice without pressuring him to embrace her opinion. He continued to enjoy her company, for apart from her and Sir Geoffrey, there was hardly anyone with whom he could have a fairly carefree conversation, and with his knight, everything always revolves around weapons, horses, battles, and what the younger man should learn from him. In other words, everything a squire needs to know in order to behave properly later as a knight.
One day, however, Guy overheard a whispered conversation between several of the older squires, believing they had not spotted him. It was not his habit to eavesdrop on other people, but when he realized that they were talking about Lady Cathrène, he could not help but listen. However, what was being implied about her, did not please him at all and then he had a hard time not making himself noticeable. He would have liked to tell the people what he thought about it, but in time he realized that this would surely end in a brawl. He was not afraid to take on more than one person at a time - he was quite tall for his age and working with the horses and practicing with the weapons had given him quite a bit of muscle - but he had already been caught fighting a few times and he was aware he could not afford to do something like that. But it was only for this reason that he retreated.
But what he had listened to would not leave his mind, and over the course of the next few days, for the first time since Lady Cathrène had approached him at Christmas he considered what she might actually be wanting from him. He had never wondered before what a woman who was certainly approaching the age of thirty - for Guy, that already constituted old age - wanted from a fourteen-year-old.
The awful experiences he had already made so far in his life caused him to become suspicious of the Lady's motives. Since he was afraid she could betray him as well – even though he would not admit these fears even to himself - he tried now to avoid any encounters with her.
This was not as problematic as he had imagined, for spring had finally made its appearance and Sir Geoffrey took him more often on longer journeys into the vicinity of Gloucester while he carried out his assignments for the Earl. Nevertheless, Guy was not successful in avoiding Lady Cathrène entirely, for one day - it was now early April and Easter was approaching - she literally lay in wait for him when he - returning from one of the journeys - brought the horses into the stables. She knew him obviously well enough to know where to find him and she had used this knowledge.
"What do you want from me?" he demanded to know from her in a harsh tone of voice - one he had never previously made use of towards her - after she had managed to track him down in the stables.
But Lady Cathrène did not seem to be bothered by his behavior. "I just want to know how you are, Guy," she answered him with the politeness she had always used towards him, and it did not fail to have the desired effect this time as well.
Guy swallowed, for in that moment he had become aware of his own rudeness. Still, at this point he could not back down so easily and what he had learned in his furtive eavesdropping still bothered him. "I meant, what does a Lady like you want from a lad like me?" he therefore elaborated now in a reply.
Someone other than the Lady might at this point have sighed, but not her. She had gained sufficient experience with men of all ages in her lifetime, a fact that also showed that much of what was said about her was quite true. Not that she had ever been bothered by what anyone else thought of her, since she was long past being upset about such matters. Her late husband had made generous provisions for her in his last will and testament, and thus she had been put in a position to do whatever she pleased. In every respect.
"You're an intriguing young man, Guy," she began. "You're probably not even aware of that yourself. And you are not like the other young men I have encountered here." She paused, as if to give him a chance to comment, but Guy did not really know what to make of her words and so he preferred to remain silent.
For this reason, she went then on, "You are very handsome." At these words, a slight blush covered the young man's face, showing the Lady that he was uncomfortable hearing this from her lips. "But unlike the other young men, you have not gathered any female admirers around you who dote on you. You have kept to yourselves and that is what has attracted me to you."
Lady Cathrène had not been sure whether she could really reach her goal with this tactic. It could have also been that this truth would send the young man away for good, however, she was of the opinion that she would owe him that. She had been stalling him for too long - precisely because of his youth - and secretly she had for some time been afraid that her reputation would drive a wedge between them. When this had not happened as fast as she had expected, she took hope, for she had definitely planned to intensify her relationship with the squire. But she had never intended to hurt him in the process. She did not believe, however, that he was able to understand this, as he simply lacked the kind of experience for something like this that she had already been able to gather in the course of her life. Yet, this was not a matter that she wanted to reproach him for, since she had known that from the very beginning.
Guy opened his mouth as if he wanted to reply at last, but then he remained silent. At that very moment he had become aware that he could not tell the Lady why he had kept to himself. Definitely he did not want to admit to her that he distrusted most of the people he had to deal with, for then he would probably have to explain to her where his distrust stemmed from. But he was not in a position to do that. On the one hand, this was due to the fact that he was ashamed of what had happened to him and he never wanted to tell anyone. On the other hand, he was well aware that Lady Cathrène had managed to breach his defenses and he was not sure if he would be able to keep quiet with her.
After the Lady had realized that the young man had no intention of speaking out, she proceeded. "I don't want to harm you," she told him now bluntly. "But I don't want to press you either. If you tell me here and now that you don't want to have anything more to do with me, then I will comply with your wish. Otherwise I would aspire to be allowed to carry on with our friendship. This would not be to your disadvantage, Guy."
Friendship! Guy had not dared to apply this word to his relationship with the older woman until that point. This was perhaps due to the fact that it had not occurred to him that men and women could be friends. And on top of that, there was the disparity in age between them. On the other hand, he had thoroughly enjoyed the attention that Lady Cathrène paid him. In this respect he was no different from other young men, even if he was not aware of that. However, he was aware of the fact that he really did not want to do without it.
"I just wanted to understand your motives, my Lady," he tried to justify his earlier outburst in her direction, thus indicating to her that he was in retreat.
"Then you won't be avoiding me anymore, Guy?" she wanted to make sure again.
This time he managed only a nod, for which, however, she rewarded him with a smile that evoked unexpected sensations within him, especially since she had never before smiled at him in this manner.
"Don't be swayed by what anyone else says, Guy. Always remember that it is envy that manifests itself in this manner." Her words made the young man gulp hard once again, for so far it had not occurred to him that other people might have reason to be envious of him. But the notion felt somehow rather good.
Before he could muster up to reply to her words, Lady Cathrène had already turned around in order to leave the stables. It was not surprising, then, that Guy was unable to return to his duties so quickly, for he had something else on his mind. The Lady's words in addition to what he had heard about her were mingling in his mind to form an image he was not yet ready to ponder.
Later, he would recall that April as the best time in his life - for at that point he had already forgotten the summer with his friend Hazel - before he completely wiped the events from his memory for reasons that were not obvious to himself. This also included everything that befell him on the evening and night of Beltane.
When he had met secretly with Lady Cathrène on that day, he was in fact still a boy, even if his appearance no longer conveyed that impression, for he was not very far from the day on which he would complete the fifteenth year of his life. But when he parted again from her shortly before dawn, he was no longer a boy in any respect, and he was well aware of that himself.
"It didn't bother me that our friendship took place in front of everyone, Guy," she had shared her thoughts with him on that morning. "But this night will remain our little secret, as it's no one else's business. Unless you feel the need to brag about it."
To his amazement, he did not feel that need. Yet, it was due to something else that he actually never spoke about what he had experienced and learned on that night. This had only to do with the fact that he had to accompany his knight on a longer journey the following day and he had no opportunity to come to Gloucester in this time. But then, upon his return several months later, he had to learn that Lady Cathrène had been killed in a fall from her horse shortly after his departure and he deemed it better not to show how much this loss had affected him.
But while on the one hand he was sorry not to be able to meet her again, on the other hand he was not sure whether he could have pursued this friendship. Yet this decision was no longer something he had to make on his own; it had been made for him. It was not the first time in his life that he could not decide for himself and it would not be the last. More precisely, this would become a norm in his life without him ever realizing it.