A month later, Toby is trying his best to prove to everyone that he's better and ready to be free.

Chapter 4: A Hair Tie

-a month later-

Toby has worked hard towards proving to the doctors that he's getting better. He's done the work to convince them that all murderous tendences were gone. He's attended classes to help him cope and grieve Spencer's death. They had him in anger management classes in hopes that he wouldn't lash out every time a nurse came into his room. He pretended to sleep so nurses would think he was well rested. He's really fooling everyone that he's all better now.

Today is Toby's final evolution. A psychiatrist will come in to see if he's ready to be released. Before he sees the Doctor, he has a visit from Emily. A nurse alerted him and walked Toby from his room to the visitor's lounge. Emily was sitting at a small table wringing her hands together in her lap. He did feel guilty that she was most likely afraid of him, but he would never hurt Emily. When Toby sat down in front of her, he swore he saw her jump a little. Emily was never very good at concealing her emotions.

"Hey," Emily offered in her sweet voice, but she was shaky.

"Hey," Toby responded gently.

Emily drummed her fingertips on the tabletop and asked, "how are you?"

"I'm doing okay," he assured her. "I've had some bad days, but I'm hanging in there."

"I can imagine."

"How's Alison doing?"

"Better, I think. She misses Spencer. She's quiet and doesn't seem to want to do much of anything these days."

"I can relate," Toby said, his eyes going sad. "I keep thinking that maybe if I've done a better job of keeping her safe, she'd still be here."

"Hey," Emily reached to touch his hand. She hesitated before deciding to lay her hand on top of his cold hand. "I wish you would stop blaming yourself."

"Yeah, they keep trying to prevent me from thinking that way, but it's hard. I've done well so far coping with my emotions, but I'm having a lot of trouble with guilt."

Toby buried his head into his hands. He let out a loud sigh and sniffled as he failed to fight back tears. He stayed like that for a solid minute.

"I'm sorry," Toby sniffled as he used his hands to wipe away stray tears. "Today's been a lot harder than I thought it would be."

"You don't have to apologize," Emily said. "It's good you're finally letting yourself cry about this. You've been angry and irrational, but I'm not sure if you've really cried."

"I know I've…gone off the rails a bit," he said. "It's because crying won't bring her back," he choked.

Emily leaned forward and said softly, "neither does losing control."

Toby normally would've snapped back with something snarky, but he bit his tongue. Instead, he nodded and allowed a few more tears to fall. The sorrow was real. He did miss Spencer. More than anything and he wished she were still here. But he was really pushing it with the tears. He didn't want to cry about this. He wanted to end all the pain. The only way he can do that is by pretending to be this broken sorry excuse of a man, but still appear sane enough that he will get out of this hospital.

"If you want, you can stay with Me and Ali once you get out," Emily offered. "It's a two bedroom, but if you'd like we can arrange for you to have your own room."

"I appreciate the offer," Toby said, sincerely, "but I still have my old loft I can live in. It's not too far away from where you've been staying, I don't think."

"We'll visit when we can," Emily said.

"It would be better if I visited you. Remember, Alison is still on the wanted list."

"Right," Emily nodded and almost smiled, "good thinking."

Emily stayed for a little while longer. They even played a quick hand of cards which Toby won. That seemed to lift his spirits some. Before leaving, Emily told him to call if he needed a ride home if he's released. She planned to do some shopping, so she'd be in the area awhile longer.

After lunch Toby spoke with his Doctor. After a long session, some fake tears, and pretending he was ready to make some changes in his life, Toby was signed to be released. He will be out by early this evening. He called Emily to let her know. As promised, she was there to pick him up from Radley's waiting room at 5 o'clock. Emily wrapped her arms around herself and waited patiently. A loud buzzard sounded then a large door swung open. Toby came out holding a brown paper bag filled with some of his things that had been returned to him. He didn't have much. Just a pair of jeans, his belt, his wallet and keys, and a hair tie. Why a hair tie? Toby met Emily in the center of the room. She stood up.

"You ready?" Emily asked.

"Yeah," Toby nodded. Then thought of something. "Just a second."

He dug through his bag of things and pulled out the hair tie to put around his wrist. He snapped it against his wrist and stared at it for a little too long. Emily had no idea why he wore a hair tie around his wrist. It's not like he had long hair to use it with. They made their way out of the hospital, through the sliding glass doors, and out to Emily's car. They rode through the town in silence. Light purple began to color up the sky as the sun sank lower beyond the trees. At last, Emily pulled up next to the old Brew where Toby's loft was. She switched her car into park, and they just sat for a minute. Toby eyed the Brew with sad eyes. Although Spencer had never gone in there herself, Toby remembers bringing her a coffee from this place every day. She loved it. This was another reason Toby's been away from Rosewood. Everything reminds him of her. Emily stared down at Toby's wrists and noticed him fidgeting with the hair tie on his wrists. Toby looked down not even realizing he was doing it. He knew Emily was watching him. Emily finally put together the story behind that hair tie.

"That's Spencer's," Emily corrected herself. "Was hers."

Toby nodded, not even looking up, getting lost in his emotions as he explained, "Spencer was wearing this hair tie the night we first kissed. We shared a motel room. It was getting late. She was tired so, after our kiss, she took off her hair tie, put on my shirt, and then she fell asleep. I never seen her look so peaceful in my life." Toby smiled to himself. He realized that was the first time he had smiled in…a year. "I imagine that was the first time she'd ever felt any real peace." Toby's smile faded. "The next morning as we were loading up the car, I noticed that she left it on the nightstand so, I grabbed it for her. But she never got it back."

Toby looked down at it with sad eyes as he played with the hair tie. It's funny, he spent the last month fake crying so the doctors would believe he was finally grieving Spencer's loss. Now, after retelling the story behind the hair tie on his wrist, the tears coming out are real. He was almost angry with himself. After keeping the flood gates back for so long, he was breaking down over a damn hair tie? Toby shook his head and squeezed his fists against his eyes to stop his tears.

"Sorry," Emily whispered.

Toby sniffled. Then inhaled and exhaled deeply.

"I should get inside," he said. "And you need to get back to Alison."

"Right," Emily nodded. She asked, "will you join us for dinner sometime this week?"

Toby nodded, "sure. I'll give you a call."

"Okay," Emily smiled.

Toby smiled back. Not a big smile, but enough to pass off as friendly. He opened his door then stepped out. He waved at Emily one last time before heading towards the Brew. The sky was getting darker, and his stomach was growling. Toby waited in line just in time before the Brew was set to close at six. He ordered a small coffee and a ham and cheese melt sandwich. He ordered it to go as the walk to his loft was just a few steps away. An employee was mopping the floor by the indoor steps, so he headed towards the backdoor to take the outdoor stairs. A cool breeze kissed his face as he stepped out into the night. He checked his pocket for his keys and wrestled with his key chain for the correct key. As he reached the first step to his loft, he felt something. The presence of something. A shiver ran down his spine as he turned to look outward towards the ally. His instincts were right because there was a figure dressed from head to toe in black watching him from the opening to the alleyway. Toby froze with his keys in one hand and his coffee and brown bag in his other hand. At first, he thought the figure would charge him or try to rob him. Not that he had anything on him worth robbing him of. Upon being discovered, the figure jumped back away from the brick wall. Their hood fell back slightly giving Toby a brief glimpse of brown hair, and a white face. It was a woman.

"Hey!" Toby called after her. "Do you need something?"

The woman pulled the large hood down over her face then darted away. Toby dropped his coffee on the ground and sprinted after her.

"Hey!" He called out.

Toby reached the public sidewalk and looked around the town square. But there was nothing. Not a soul or single person was present. A cool breeze blew some trash around on the street as Toby continued to eye every inch of the town hoping to get a glimpse of the figure that was watching him. He heard a dog bark in the distance. The front door to the Brew opened as two teenage employees walked out together talking and laughing over their plans for the weekend. Toby had no idea who was underneath that black hood. Toby is sure he has a stalker after him.

Toby is free to roam the streets. Is that a good thing or a bad thing? After all, he does have a plan... Also, who is watching him?

Chapters for this story will come out every couple of days. I'm writing this story quickly, so you'll get faster updates. I'd appreciate it if people liked, followed, and reviewed. Thank you.