It didn't matter it that it made sense. It didn't matter that it was a wise choice for the villages. It didn't matter that Shikamaru wanted it. Every good reason, every logical reason he had been told about this god damned wedding had him shaking in rage. And now she was here, her arms around him, her body always against his. Naruto put his head on the desk as they walked in to go over the guests from Suna. He couldn't look at them, wasn't entirely sure he could look at her and not verbally attack her. Which made him feel worse, because it wasn't her fault he didnt speak up sooner. She didn't deserve his anger in the slightest and he knew
"I'll leave you to it" Naruto said standing up to look at Kakashi "I'm not needed for this and I can get the next lot of paperwork for the meeting with Bee for tomorrow" he didn't look at the couple, he focused only on the Hokage. Hoping he saw the need to not be in this room discussing the wedding of his lifelong love and his adoptive sister. He should be happy for them, he knew this. Temari was happy, and excited to start her life with him, in her new home in the leaf. And Shikamaru seemed to be happy start on his dream. Not that he ever sounded too enthused about it when he spoke about it. But he'd say if he didn't want it, too much of a drag to say nothing and regret it later as he would say.
"Actually" Kakashi said pulling him out of his thoughts "this is the first wedding with two important families from separate villages since I became Hokage and it will be a good learning process for you. I'd like you to stay" he said and whatever Naruto had let escape on his face had his eye twitching and looking at the blonde with all of his focus. Immediately looking apologetic he handed over the list he had in front of him.
"The argument right now is where the wedding will be"
"More higher officials from Suna will be present, right?" Naruto asked sighing and he nodded "so it makes sense to have it there" he shrugged "I know Shikamaru is supposed to be here because he's you're Advisor of sorts but that's not official since its all still training, technically" which was true, Tsunade had gone back off to her travels the moment the title was passed. Shizune had stayed to show Shikamaru the ropes, she was finally leaving when he came back from his honeymoon. Naruto bit the tip of his tongue so not to curse at the thought. "And Shizune would be here"
"But it makes no sense for it to be there when I will have to move all my stuff here after the honeymoon" Temari said and Naruto gritted his teeth to compose himself before he turned to her. He nodded and that made sense. Ignoring the urge the throw her off of Shikamaru
"So it's you arguing to have the wedding here?" He smirked at her and she shrugged like it wasn't a big deal
"The entire council and Gaara can't be gone from the village" Naruto said
"I told her this" Shikamaru added and she lightly dug him in the ribs
"I want it to be here, its nicer and the compound is the perfect place for us, it's where we are going to live and bring up our kids, why can't I want to get married here?" She asked and Naruto could see this was important to her.
"I don't know how to give that to you" Shikamaru sighed "without leaving Suna vulnerable"
"You really want it here?" Naruto asked and they both looked at him and nodded he looked to Kakashi who gestured to him to continue "I have a solution" he admitted "if Kakashi and Gaara agree that is"
"What is it?" Temari asked
"Sasuke and I can go to Suna and protect it until the elders and Gaara return" he shrugged "obviously it's not official but the whole world knows we are enough. And the chances of attacks are zero with the peace treaty, which we all know is just a formality right now. And I imagine lots of the Suna inhabitants will make the journey here to see the Suna Princess married"
They all looked at me and she frowned
"So... you won't be there?" She asked her voice softer than usual. Honestly this was the most girlish he had ever seen her, this damn wedding.
"If you two have the wedding you want I can live with it" he lied
"But..." she looked to Shikamaru and used her eyes to look at me and he groaned sounding bored but Naruto saw the look in his eyes. The one that said he wanted him there.
"You're like her brother man, not to mention my best friend, you got to be there" he said and Naruto nodded
"I get that but Gaara and Kankoro need to be there more than I do" Naruto said which they all knew and he looked at Shikamaru "and you'll have Choji there I won't be missed. We all know he's your true best friend, always has been and I have no doubt he'd be the best, best man for you" Naruto said and looked to Kakashi missing the look of hurt in Shikamaru's face "it's a compromise but it's the one that requires the less sacrifice, you know!"
Kakashi nodded and looked to Temari and Shikamaru
"I'm willing to accept this, I can summon Sasuke and he'll follow the order"
"Okay..." Temari said softly and came over to Naruto to turn him to face her and hug him
"Thanks Naruto" she said "we wish you could come but it means the world to me that you are willing to do so much for us"
"No problem" he lied and looked to Shikamaru "happy to do anything for you to make your day what you want it to be" that was the truth. The fact he got a way out was enough evidence because he honestly didn't know how well he'd cope on the day watching them get married.
"I'll send a message to Gaara and get things started then, now this has been sorted if he agrees we can finally set a date" Kakashi said "did you bring the list?" He asked and Shikamaru came forward as Temari let Naruto go handing Kakashi the list.
"Alright, if Gaara accepts I'll go through this and see if I can make sure everyone can be present"
They bowed and left the office the moment the door closed Kakashi looked to Naruto
"I didn't realise you were opposed to the marriage" he retorted bluntly and Naruto sat at the edge of the desk he was using and sighed. Against it, ready to crash it, glad he and Kurama were on good terms cause he was sure he would have lost all control long ago.
"I'm not against it" he lied, to himself and Kakashi "just... not accepting it well"
"Why not? Isn't it the dream to have your sister with someone you trust so implicitly?"
Naruto looked to his father figure and didn't even try to hide the oncoming tears he'd held back for months. Shikamaru almost died, during the battle with Madara it took all control and the new trust he had gained and given with Kurama not to bolt back when he was dying. But Kurama didn't let him go, fed him chakra and healed the damage the cursed tree did. And after that he told himself he'd tell Shikamaru the truth. Then Sasuke went nuts, arms were gone, recovery and re-building was underway, training for becoming a Jonin. By time it was a reasonable moment it was announced that Shikamaru and Temari were dating. Then quickly engaged. Kakashi stood up hands on his desk looking a little horrified
"If I wasn't madly in love with him" Narutos voice cracked "I think it would be" and then the tears fell
"Shit" Kakashi hissed appearing in front of Naruto and pulling him against his chest and Naruto cried, chest heaving as sobs tried to rip out his throat. It hurt to see them together, it hurt him to be so bitter toward Temari who had embraced him as her brother with no hesitation. It hurt to pull away from Shikamaru. To let him down. It hurt he never got to tell him, that he never had a chance. It all just hurt.
"Why didn't you say something?" Kakashi asked softly as Naruto clutched his back. Naruto shook his head on his chest and just cried harder. What could he say?
After a while and several dismissals to the knocks on the door Naruto stepped back and wiped his red and puffy eyes. Taking deep breaths to try to pull himself together again
"If I'd known..." Kakashi said and Naruto nodded smiling softly
"I know" his voice was thick and not right yet
"Does he know?" Kakashi asked and Naruto shook his head
"Suppose its for the best. Hopefully when they're married... I'll start to finally move on" he shrugged. He'd tried, the moment Shikamaru said he wanted to be with her, the moment he heard the words from Shikamaru he buried his feelings, let Sakura set him up on dates and gushed about guys with her and Ino. But it didn't work. Honestly he was about ready to go to a bar and just let someone fuck his brains out hoping it'll knock some sense into himself. He knew that it didn't work like that but man, he was desperate. It wasn't common knowledge Naruto was Bisexual, or that he preferred guys over girls. Sakura, Sasuke and Kakashi knew for obvious reasons. Jiriya had known. As well as Sai and Yamato, so when Sai started seeing Ino it was just natural she was let in on it. Naruto honestly was surprised it didn't become public knowledge after that. Gaara knew, they'd told each other a lot of truths the connection of their childhoods brought them closer than most would ever have expected. And then of course... Kiba. Kiba knew, he had been the one to help Naruto in the confusion of it all, his first in all of it. Why couldn't I have fallen for Kiba? Naruto thought
"You still have time" Kakashi said and Naruto shook his head
"He wants her. I'm not going to blow up our friendship and try to sabotage it" he sighed "is there anything else you need me to do?"
"No. Its okay head home for the day" Kakashi ordered and Naruto dissapeared from the office leaving Kakashi a little torn.