Gaara accepted the compromise. He had personally written to Naruto to thank him and things were being set in motion. Temari was in full planning mode, Matsuri, Gaara's pupil had come to the village early as she was a bridesmaid. The wedding was a month away and Naruto would have to leave in a few days to meet Sasuke and head to Suna so there was enough time for Gaara and the elders to get to the Leaf.

Shikamaru wanted Naruto to be at his stag do so he was having it tonight. Naruto wracked his brain for a way out of it but he couldn't think of a good enough reason. The feelings had still not gone and it was going to be difficult to keep himself in check with alcohol involved. There was a knock at his door causing him to get up off his bed and answer the door. His arm was on the table from when he took ot off to deal with the ache in his stump and he had no shirt on, feeling too lazy to make himself presentable he opened the door with his left hand and almost slammed it in Shikamaru's face.

"Hey" he smiled widely "What's up" he walked inside and picked up his long sleeved top off the sideboard putting it on to cover his stump just above the elbow.

"Wanted to talk to you" Shikamaru said closing the door with a little bit more force than needed

"Sure. I mean if its about the wedding I-"

"It's about you" he said causing Naruto to frown then he shook his head "No. I mean it's about you not being there" he corrected

"Come on, I won't be needed" Naruto chuckled and Shikamaru frowned clearly torn about what he was thinking. He shook his head and glared at Naruto

"You're my best friend, her brother you should be there. But it really means a lot you're doing what you are. So..." he trailed off and Naruto looked at him confused and waited for him to finish "I don't know what I've done but please... come tonight"

"You haven't done anything" Naruto told him truthfully "why would you-"

"You've been avoiding me. Been acting off, cancelling on plans and I just want to make sure you're not going to bail tonight. I really want you there"

Naruto nodded and felt sick.

"Okay, I'll be there" he agreed and Shikamaru turned to the door and left.

It's safe to say the stag do was a success, Naruto had kept away from alcohol, laughs and scuffles were had, a toast to Shikamaru and jokes at his expense. The laughable fact that he was first to get hitched when bets as kids said he'd be the last. They'd been kicked out as it was passed closing and Naruto was carrying Shikamaru home. Poor guy was forced a copious amount of alcohol and couldn't walk straight, but still impressively coherant. Naruto tried not to focus on his hand on Shikamaru's waist, his body warming his side to near overheating. Tried not to think about how he could tell Shikamaru everything and he wouldn't remember a damned thing. But given Shikamaru could still talk Naruto wasn't completely confident in that theory.

"Is it over?" Shikamaru groaned putting his head on Narutos shoulder.

"Yeah, no more socialising, or drinking" Naruto chuckled and Shikamaru looked up to him and Naruto's breath hitched at the proximity of his mouth to his own "I'm taking you home"

"Don't want to go home" Shikamaru sighed "your house" he ordered and forced Naruto to turn toward his place.

"Why?" Naruto asked

"Shogi. I haven't played today and it has been..." he trailed off looking like his energy was gone "a while" He said loudly and Naruto chuckled

"Sure. I mean it won't be a fair win but I'll play"

Shikamaru sat on the floor of next to the coffee table setting up the shogi board, Naruto went and got him a glass of water from the kitchen trying calm his nerves. You've been alone with him before, dammit he thought and went back out to the livingroom only to freeze. Shikamaru had taken off his jacket only in his mesh vest like the old days and his hair was down as he shook it loose with his eyes closed as if it was a relief to let it down. Naruto gulped and had to resist the urge to go over and run his fingers through the locks. Now it was loose the hair had a parting not quite in the middle but close enough. It had gotten longer since the last time Naruto had been graced with the sight.

"Trying to out do the missus?" Naruto joked walking forward and Shikamaru frowned and shrugged taking the water. Naruto sat opposite Shikamaru and took the first move. They played in silence only the tapping of the pieces and Shikamaru putting the glass on the table. Even as drunk as he was Naruto found he wasn't as easy to beat as he had expected. But he was holding his own better than their previous matches.

"When I almost died, that day" Shikamaru said and Naruto froze "I was ready to go" he looked at Naruto. The look in his eyes had Naruto's heart skipping a beat. They were aware full of pain and frustration. The idea that Shikamaru wanted to die hurt more than watching him start his life with someone else. If this was the price, he'd do it again, no question.

"You wanted to die?" Naruto asked weakly

"No. I was ready to there's a difference" he said spinning Narutos piece he had just taken between his fingers "my Dad had just died, I wasn't helping you, and we were all dying. The fact you were cloaking us only hindered you and I was ready to stop being a burden there"

Naruto went to speak but Shikamaru put his finger on his lips and his mind went blank. His argument dying in his throat "but I felt your desperation, and it made me remember why I was fighting. What my goal was and the fact you were subconsciously pulling me back with so much will had me unable to follow those we had lost"

That's right, Naruto thought, Sakura had talked about it how she was ready to pummel me but Ino had said I was doing it completely unaware. He didn't know how much I was aware.

"Your semi good life , with semi good kids and a semi attractive wife" Naruto smiled nodding "though, think the semi is out the window now" he chuckled and Shikamaru frowned putting his elbow on the table and his head on his fists as he looked at Naruto

"Okay" Naruto said "what is up with you?" He demanded

"After that... you died" he said and he nodded as he remembered waking up to his chest opened up from Sakura pumping his heart with her hands.

"Why are you talking about this?" Naruto asked

"I remember asking myself what the hell you brought me back from the brink for if you were going to die and leave us anyway" he continued ignoring Naruto's question

"I was ready to give my life for the people I love" Naruto said putting his arms on the table and leaning on it. "In fact I went in believing once Madara was dead I would die. No way was I leaving all of you in his hands you know?" He shrugged and Shikamaru's eyes widened for a moment before he relaxed again

"So you were just going to die on us?" He asked his tone a little sharper than usual

"Not purposefully. I just... even with my Chakra I knew it was going to be a battle I would run out I was lucky on several accounts" he sighed "look don't give me a hard time for caring and wanting to protect those that matter. You all saw my memories, so you know exactly how I viewed myself to most of you. I was not as important. If Neji lived and I died team Guy would be fine with that. If Sasuke lived and I died Sakura would accept that. If I died and you lived your team would be happy for that. I would have been happy with that!" He snapped and cursed himself for letting the last part slip taking a breath he continues "only a handful of people would choose me, for me. Not for my strength and use, but because they loved me but they would understand. And I know you are one of them, but I won't apologise for saving you, got it"

Shikamaru didn't speak. He watched Naruto eyes looking a little glossy and he nodded once

"When you survived, and when that cloak engulfed me again I almost collapsed" he carried on "I thought I saw or felt something from you and I had the chance to ask you and figure it out. I never did" he frowned "you were in such a bad state, Kakashi had you almost always and we just didn't get a chance to sit down and have a real conversation"

Naruto nodded

"So what did you want to ask? Three years later isn't too bad, especially for you" he smirked trying to lighten the mood but it didn't work. Shikamaru leveled him with a look of determination and Naruto could not look away even if he wanted to.

"Were you in love with me?" He asked and Naruto felt his stomach twist as he was faced with his feelings, faced with the truth he knew he'd have to tell him. I hate alcohol, he thought clenching his teeth tightly he asked 'were', so that was past tense. He could answer that much, right?

"Yes" he admitted and Shikamaru's hand fell onto the table with a light thud his shoulders slumping as he closed his eyes as if this was not what he wanted to hear. The rejection hit Naruto in his chest and literally winded him. Shit. It's not like he didn't see it coming but it still surprised him. Neither man spoke as one processed and the other tried not to fall apart.

"You've been avoiding being alone with me since Temari and me became official" Shikamaru said and Naruto looked at his legs and shook his head silently pleading him to stop. Don't continue "Temari says she feels like you're mad at her, and you won't even look at us together... you jumped at not attending the wedding" he listed off his observations "are you still?" He asked finally and Naruto fell back against the couch his head on the cushions letting him look at the ceiling his throat closing up as tears came to his eyes. Putting his arm over his eyes so not to be tempted to look at him. Fuck! Why did this matter now?

"What do you want from me Shikamaru?" He finally asked his voice thick and shakey.

"The truth" the Nara shrugged and Naruto snapped his neck up to look at him tears falling down his cheeks and Shikamaru sat up almost standing but stopped

"Yes. Yes I still love you! Yes I'm avoiding you! Yes I'm avoiding my sister and yes I am absolutely avoiding the wedding!" His breathing was becoming laboured "I don't trust myself! And I hate her! I hate that I hate her because she's done nothing wrong! I hate I want to make her happy-with you! That i want to inflict bodily harm on her at the same time" He punched the table causing the game to shake and pieces to jump everywhere "What the hell can I do but step back and lose my sister and you so I don't blow everything up!?" He roared and his breathing was now gasps as his chest heaved from the heartache. The actual pain of all of it "she loves you! You love her! I... I c-c-c.." he couldn't speak he shook his head violently clutching his chest as he stood up moving to his room where the sliding doors to the railing were. Air. He needed air. Fuck. Stumbling over the step to the hallway blinking into the dark hallway heading straight passed his bed and ripping the door open causing it to shake against the wall. Clutching the railing with both hands he leant over it his chest touching the cold bar as he inhaled deeply. The cold air stung and he couldn't stop the cough ripping up his throat. Well there it goes. I've lost him now. I've lost Temari which means I lose Gaara, and Kankoro, and Ino he thought spiralling into how his life was about to digress back to what it was before Shikamaru. Because it was. It was all his doing. He couldn't regret it though. How could he? His breathing felt easier, more normal dammit, he thought as he turned to reach for his spare sandles to leave.