Four years. When Austin Tucker looked back and realized it had been four years since Beijing, four years since out of nowhere he shocked the world, and himself, by winning the Olympic gold, he wasn't ashamed to say it, he'd stolen that gold medal, taking advantage of major mistakes from the favorites and allowing his adrenaline to blindly power him through his routines. That would not be the case this time around. Four years later, the week before the Olympic trials, Austin Tucker was prepared, more prepared than he'd ever been physically and technically. It was his mental game that was a complete mess. He just needed to hone his focus, as Payson would say, but that was easier said than done. Some of them were mere mortals who couldn't simply shut out the rest of their lives when they were in the gym.
He watched Payson leaving the women's locker room, raising hand to him in goodbye, shooting a glance at Sasha who flicked his head in her direction. Austin ran through his parallel bars routine one last time, finishing the routine and shaking his head.
"Your hips," Sasha called from the complete other end of the gym where he was working on the beam with the level ten junior girls. The young gymnast startled at his voice and nearly fell off the beam, "Not you, Tammy," he said and turned towards Austin, making a show of standing up straight and centering his hips.
Austin nodded and raised a hand in acknowledgement before beginning again, not wanting to end on a poor note. It was better this time and when he looked up, Sasha was standing at the edge of his mat nodding in approval. "Better," he said.
Austin smiled at him, "I'm going over your place for dinner," he said. "She said you were staying late with the munchkins."
Sasha nodded, "Yeah she mentioned it. I'll be back around nine if you want to play Halo."
"Hell yeah," Austin said, taking a swig from his water bottle, "I'll see you later then."
A quick shower later and he was headed towards Payson's house, his stomach already rumbling. Payson was an elite gymnast, that was true, but her skills in the kitchen were right up there too. He pulled Lolita into her driveway and waved to her old neighbor, Roy who was smoking his pipe on the steps.
"Tucker," Roy said with a nod.
"Hodgson," he responded with the same mock seriousness. He liked the old man.
"She made stroganoff," the older man said with a sigh. "Brought some over for me and Rose, you're in for a treat."
Austin's stomach just rumbled louder in response. "See you later, Roy."
He entered the house and he could smell the most amazing scent coming from the kitchen, "Hey," she said with a smile as he entered the kitchen.
"I swear, Pay, I'm starving and it smells so good," he practically moaned when she lifted the lid from the pot and the entire kitchen was filled with the strong aroma of her beef stroganoff.
"It's done. I've had it warming for a while. Just grab the bottle of Cotes du Rhone," she said, nodding towards her wine rack.
He stared at her blankly as she plated some for the both of them, "The what?"
"Wine, Austin, the half empty green bottle with the white label," she said, sitting down.
He joined her, studying the bottle carefully, impressed and then poured them each a glass. "Nice wine," he commented. "What are we celebrating?"
Payson smiled and sighed with relief, "Everything. My parents know, the major press is done for the Olympic Trials, we are both considered the favorites in the all-around in London. Life doesn't get much better," she said, raising her glass towards him. He returned her smile and clinked his glass gently against hers.
He knew his smile was weak at best and he knew she was going to call him out on it, so he took a large sip of his wine.
"Austin?" she asked with a frustrated sigh. "Alright, spill." She put down her fork with a clatter and tilted her head at him. Her expression was crystal clear. She knew he would tell her everything eventually; she just wasn't going to beat around the bush.
He sighed and took a bite of his stroganoff to buy some more time, which he almost choked on because it was still hot. She rolled her eyes at him as he coughed and took another sip of wine.
"You see, the universe punished you for avoiding my question," she said, her voice annoyingly condescending. He may have taken on the role of her big brother, but she'd fully embraced her little sister status.
He finally recovered his voice and frowned at her, "Kaylie didn't tell you everything?" he asked.
Payson rolled her eyes and grinned, "Of course she did, but that's her side of the story. I want your side of the story. I'm sure what actually happened is somewhere in between."
He shook his head with a small grin, "You're such a gossip, Payson. Who'da thunk it?"
Her jaw dropped in mock affront, "I am not. You're both my friends and…" she trailed off, finally realizing that he was teasing.
So he told her everything, from their drunken and all too short making out session to the horrible conversation the next morning where Kaylie once again dropped him like an unlucky penny.
"I'm done," he said, finally, meaning both the amazing stroganoff he'd just finished and his ridiculous relationship with Kaylie Cruz. "She obviously doesn't want me, at least not enough."
Payson sighed, sitting back in her chair as she rose, taking both of their plates to the sink. "She wants you Austin, she's just terrified."
He shook his head, "See that's what I don't get. What exactly is she terrified of? She dated Carter, he hurt her, I get that, but that should be enough to spook someone that thoroughly."
Payson bit her lip and it was obvious she wasn't sure if she should be sharing whatever was on the tip of her tongue. "Spit it out, Pay. I won't tell."
She shrugged, "It wasn't just Carter. That was pretty traumatic though. She and Carter hid their relationship for almost a year before he slept with her best friend. That's not exactly a normal break up. And her parents' divorce, that wasn't exactly amicable, at least not at first. Her mom slept with her coach and she had to keep that secret for a long time…"
"Wait, not Sasha," Austin cut in, completely shocked.
Payson laughed and rolled her eyes, "No, Marty Walsh. It's why he left the Rock in the first place. Steve Tanner found out and blackmailed him into leaving after Lauren lost her place at Nationals to Emily. Wow, that was three years ago now, it feels like yesterday."
"You're kidding," Austin said, wondering how he'd missed all of this in the years he'd spent in Boulder.
"Nope, but anyway, after that, that's sort of when the anorexia took hold and you were there for that entire meltdown and then the Nicky thing, that was all about control, being able to stay in control of herself and with you, she can't do that."
"You took Psych last semester, didn't you?" he asked, only half joking and she stuck her tongue out at his attempt at levity.
"You terrify her, Austin," she said, taking a sip of her wine. "That's all I'm saying."
He raised his eyebrows doubtfully, "She can be terrified all she wants, if what she feels isn't enough to get over that fear, then obviously she doesn't lo…" he stopped himself right there. He didn't want to say that word out loud, it was time to start moving on and he'd start right now. "I really don't want to talk about this anymore, Payson. It's over and I think I'm going to be happier because of it. There's a whole city of co-eds that I've been ignoring for a long time."
She turned from the sink and crossed her arms, laughing at him lightly, "As long as you're okay," she said, her eyes burning into his. She would know if he lied to her.
"I will be," he said and smiled tightly.
Payson studied him for a moment before nodding. "Good."
He nodded, suddenly feeling uncomfortable. Talking about feelings wasn't exactly his strength, even if it was with his best friend, quasi-sister. "I'm gonna go set up Halo in the living room. Sasha and I…"
She laughed, "I know, you like him better than me," she said, placing her hand on her forehead dramatically.
"It's Halo, Pay," he said, though he knew it didn't mean much to her.
Sasha finished up with the level tens at around eight. Payson had asked him to give her some time with Austin. He knew Austin was going through something and Payson was better at talking to him about girls, whenever he tried, they usually ended up passed out in his trailer, so he was going to work out to give her some time to get through to her best friend about whatever was eating at him. If he had to guess, he's say that something was just over five feet tall with a brown ponytail and a penchant for pink, but that was just his opinion.
He waved goodbye to the last parents to pick up their daughter and quickly changed into shorts and sneakers before heading into the fitness center. He wrapped his hands carefully with tape, forgoing gloves as he had no one to help him get them on and off, pulled his shirt over his head, tossing it on the bench beside him and stretched out before approaching the heavy bag. Boxing was something Nicolai had insisted he learn when he began training with him. It was all about control his mentor told him, though a frustrated, teenaged Sasha hadn't understood it at the time as he regularly got his head pounded in by the amateur talent in the area.
"Gymnastics is about control, Sasha and you must learn how to harness that anger before you will become a great gymnast," the old man told him time and time again.
He understood eventually and even now, he would use this particular activity to take out whatever aggression he could feel building inside of him. And right now all that aggression was focused on just one person. Himself.
He began slowly, lightly tapping the bag, getting himself into a rhythm. Double left jab, right cross, left hook, right upper cut, and again, varying it up, building up a sweat quickly, breathing harshly through his nose, exhaling as he landed each blow.
He couldn't blame Payson's father for being angry. Mark Keeler had every right to be furious, he just wished he would direct his anger solely at the party at fault. If he had simply remained in control of himself, waited, like he said he would have, no matter how persuasive she was, no matter how beautiful or how she looked at him, her father would be speaking to her and his jaw wouldn't ache like a mother –
"Not bad," a voice cut into his thoughts.
He turned to see Mark Keeler standing there, arms crossed over his chest, a defensive stance to say the least. He stood still, trying to catch his breath, and nodded silently, not wanting to say the wrong thing. Instinctively he knew that this conversation, one he was woefully unprepared for, would make or break his relationship with Payson's father.
"Where did you learn how to box?" Mark asked, taking a few steps closer.
"My coach," he answered, his breath still heavy, "he thought it would be good for my gymnastics and my temper," he acknowledged.
Mark considered him for a moment. "My wife says I should apologize for hitting you," he said and Sasha couldn't help it. He smiled. Kim Keeler was wonderful, but she definitely didn't understand how men operated sometimes. Mark shrugged. "I think we both know I'm not going to do that."
"Yeah," he said, picking up a towel off the bench just behind him and wiping the sweat off his forehead and arms, before grabbing his shirt and replacing it. "If it were me, I wouldn't have stopped with just the one punch."
Mark nodded, "If Payson and Kim hadn't been there, I wouldn't have." It was obviously the truth, but for a moment, Sasha wasn't sure if he was about to get punched in the mouth again. He knew he wouldn't fight back, but Mark looked pretty calm. "Kind of grateful you didn't hit me back though. Why is that?"
"I deserved it," Sasha said, looking Mark directly in the eye. "I deserve whatever you want to throw at me, Mr. Keeler."
Mark finally uncrossed his arms. "My daughter thinks she's in love with you, she thinks you're in love with her. Is she wrong?"
Sasha shook his head, "I love your daughter very much," he said without hesitation. "More than I should, obviously."
"If that's the case, forgive me, I'm trying to understand, if that's the case, you couldn't have waited?"
Sasha knew what he was about to say could possibly get him into even more trouble, so he was very careful with his tone, "Mr. Keeler, Payson, she's very…she made it crystal clear what she wanted…" he trailed off now, not wanting to say too much.
Mark nodded, "I know my daughter, Sasha and when she wants something she goes after it." He sighed. "I'm not happy about this, not by a long shot. I don't think you're the right man for my daughter. The age is one thing, but you two are at completely different places in your lives and she's eighteen years old, she should be out there exploring what the world has to offer her, not settling on the first guy that comes along. I think in the long run you're bad for her, that you'll only end up hurting her in the end."
Sasha nodded, it was nothing that he hadn't thought himself. "I understand."
"That being said, my wife says you make her happy and if that's the case, well, we'll see won't we?"
"That's all I want, Mr. Keeler, her to be happy."
"Good, then we at least agree on that." With those words Payson's father turned away from him and began leaving the gym, but Sasha couldn't just leave it at that.
"I would never hurt her," he called out to Mark Keeler's retreating back. "I'd like to prove you wrong about that."
Mark didn't turn around, but his shoulders stiffened, "I'd like you to prove me wrong too," he said and then without another word he strode out of the fitness center not looking back.
He stood in the empty gym for a while wondering what just happened. Had Mark Keeler called a truce or something of the kind? He wasn't sure. It didn't really seem that way, but things were better than they'd been after the other night and that was something. He wanted to talk to Payson about it, but then thought maybe that wasn't such a great idea. She probably wouldn't be thrilled that he and her father had discussed her without her present. He frowned and shook his head. He'd talk to her about it; he wouldn't not be able to.
He parked his car on the street noticing Austin had considerately taken up the entire driveway with his motorcycle and rolling his eyes he let himself into the house.
"Hey man," he said to Tucker who was already on the couch playing Halo, who spared him a grunt in response.
There was a heavenly scent coming out of the kitchen and he moved purposefully in that direction, seeing his objective leaning against the counter, seemingly staring into space. In just a few long strides he'd pulled her into his arms, lifting her off the floor easily, pressing his lips to hers urgently. He hadn't kissed her in days. While she responded on instinct as his tongue swept up against hers, he could feel her resistance almost immediately and confusion over took him until he heard a throat clearing pointedly. Setting Payson down on her feet he turned and saw Kim Keeler sitting at their kitchen table looking bemused. He shook his head at the odds and grinned ironically. "Hi Kim."
She frowned and sighed, "Hi Sasha, I guess that's my cue."
He shook his head quickly, "No, you stay, talk, sorry I er interrupted," he said and looked at Payson who was smiling at him affectionately, shaking her head. He turned quickly and went back into the living room, slapping Austin on the back of the head as he walked by him. "Thanks for the warning."
"Ow, what?" the younger man asked, pausing the game quickly.
Sasha rolled his eyes and grabbed a controller, joining the game.
Payson watched as Sasha left the room in as much a hurry as he'd been to enter it.
"That happen a lot?" Kim asked, her eyebrows raised at her daughter.
"What?" she asked. "Him coming home and kissing me? Pretty much every day."
"Home? So he stays here?" Payson looked at her mother. She hadn't confirmed it in any of their talks up to now and she'd unthinkingly let it slip.
She nodded, "He does," she said, looking her mother directly in the eye, not wanting there to be any confusion on the subject.
"You were okay, after the first time?" her mother's voice cracked a little and Payson felt a small pain in her chest at thought of her mother worrying about this.
She smiled, hoping to convey just how happy she was, "I was fine, he was…" she trailed off, "He loves me, Mom and I love him, it was perfect." She conveniently left out the part that they'd made love for the first time as a goodbye and the complete desolation she felt when she woke up that morning to find him gone, despite knowing it was what they agreed to.
Her mother's voice drew her back to the present. "And you're being careful? What kind of birth control are you using?"
Payson felt her face flush slightly, "I got an implant earlier this year. I couldn't do any of the pills or the shot, the hormones would have thrown my body chemistry out of wack and I don't…" She stopped speaking. Her mother didn't need to know that she didn't like condoms.
Kim raised her eyebrows, "An implant?" For a moment Payson thought her mother almost looked impressed.
"Yeah," she said, taking a sip of her wine, hoping it would help take the edge off a little.
Her mother had shown up out of absolutely nowhere wanting to talk. Payson had no idea what she could possibly want to discuss that hadn't been beaten to death over the last few days, but suddenly it was clear. Her mother wanted to talk about sex.
"Pay, I know we never really got to discuss this. I just didn't think it was an issue for you, but…"
"Mom, the ship has sort of sailed on this, don't you think?" she asked, but her mother glared at her and Payson bit her lip. "Fine," she said with a sigh.
"No, you're right. I was always going to tell you and your sister that sex is a wonderful thing, to be shared with someone you love, ideally your husband, but as you said, that ship has already sailed."
"He asked me to marry him, you know?" she said, the words slipping from her tongue before the thought had even fully formed in her mind. She smiled, thinking back to that night in the bathtub as she leaned up against his strong chest and he asked her to marry him in the most unromantic and spontaneous way imaginable.
Her mother stared at her in shock, her mouth hanging open slightly, "He did?" Kim asked, obviously not knowing what else to say.
Payson nodded with a smile. "We were," she shook her head remembering again, but knowing she couldn't quite share the details with her mom, "it was a horrible proposal, completely out of the blue and I told him no, obviously."
"You told him no?" she asked, her brow furrowing.
The corner of Payson's mouth lifted as her eyes twinkled at her mothers, "Actually, I told him that he was going to have to do better and ask me properly sometime."
For the first time in a while, Payson saw her mother's smile, a genuine smile, not a forced grin a fake spreading of the lips. "And you think he will?"
"I do," she said. "We've talked about it, getting married, having kids, the whole nine yards. That's why I need you guys to understand, Mom. This is real. He's it for me." She looked at her mom for a moment, wondering if she'd said too much, wondering if her mother's level headed reaction to this point was about to come to an end.
Kim nodded, digesting the information and a silence overtook them, though it wasn't uncomfortable. "Do they do this a lot?" she asked, nodding towards the living room where sound effects from the video game system could be heard.
Payson smiled both in relief for a change of subject and at the question, "Sometimes. Austin is here a lot. He's a good friend."
Her mother sighed, "You did always say you and Austin were just friends."
"Nothing just about him. He's a great guy and he was there for me when I didn't really have anyone else to talk to."
Kim twisted her mouth into a frown and Payson knew she was holding something back, a sharp retort, but she seemingly swallowed it, "I'm glad you had someone to talk to," she said simply and left it at that.
Her mother left a few minutes later, completely unnoticed by Sasha and Austin who were engrossed in their game. Payson stood behind the couch and watched them play for a moment before she approached them from behind. She slowly ran her fingers over Sasha's shoulder and up the nape of his neck before sliding them into his hair. She leaned down pressing her lips lightly to his temple before whispering softly in his ear, "Come to bed," she said, letting her lips brush against his ear.
"Dude, focus," she heard Austin protest as her actions had probably caused some erratic play from Sasha.
She saw a small smile begin to curl up at the corner of his mouth, so she went in for the kill, "I've been thinking about you all day, it's been a week, Sasha. I want you inside of me." A half-second later she let out a small squeak of surprise as he leapt from the couch and lifted her into his arms, kissing her thoroughly as muscle memory allowed him to carry her from the livingroom to their bedroom without a hitch in his step. Vaguely she heard Austin shouting something about bros before hoes, but as she felt Sasha's mouth against the sensitive skin of her neck, everything else faded into obscurity as she man she wanted to spend the rest of her life with made love to her.