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A joke idea I had due to a YouTube comment. This takes place during Buffy 4x20, and imagine whatever Spike was doing at the time, he is not doing it and is watching this from the rooftop.

Spike was on a rooftop, watching as Angel beat up the Initiative soldiers trying to attack him. He was amused and jealous both. Amused that those soldiers thought they'd a chance against any Vampire who fought back, and jealous because he couldn't beat up those soldiers, due to the dratted chip inside his sodding head!

At that moment, he felt a familiar scent, and turned to see Riley arrive, shining a flashlight upon Angel.

As Angel and Riley faced each other, Angel said something and Spike dubbed over. "New boyfriend."

Riley slipped the flashlight into his pocket and said something back, Spike dubbing over. "You the ex?"

Angel replied, Spike dubbing. "Thought you'd recognize me from the hair."

Riley spoke, and Spike dubbed again. "I did."

Angel took a step forward while looking at the knocked-out commandos while asking something as Spike dubbed. "You think you love her more than I do?"

Riley replied while gesturing to Angel as Spike dubbed. "I think I do, especially since I can't lose my soul while doing it, and remain the lost little puppy I am."

Angel dangerously walked closer, threatening Riley which Spike dubbed over. "You have no idea how much I lie awake at night thinking about her, silly straight-haired boy."

Riley's face had a calm rage, and he questioned back, Spike dubbing. "How dare you think I have silly straight hair?"

Angel walked a slow path while replying, and Spike dubbed again. "You do though, the silliest."

Riley stepped in Angel's path, extending his baton, Spike dubbing. "You won't be getting away with insulting my hair."

Angel replied and Spike dubbed. "Oh I will, and let me say this- Buffy will never love you as much as she loves me."

They were in front of each other, Riley asking something as Spike dubbed. "You think you know Buffy better than I do?"

Angel replied, and Spike dubbed. "You think you know anything about her?"

Riley replied, Spike dubbing. "Everything."

Angel threw a right cross at Riley's face but he deflected it with his free hand and whipped the baton into Angel's face.

"Yeah, hit him!" Spike cheered for Riley, before realizing something. "But…you have silly little straight hair!"

Riley quickly spun into a backhand swing and Angel caught his arm, forcing him down on one knee, and slammed a knee into Riley's face.

"Yes, hit him!" Spike then realized something again. "Bloody hell, I cheered for my git of a grandsire!"

Angel didn't let Riley go and lifted him back to his feet to swing him around and threw him through the air. Riley flew back into a large heap of trash bags and card board boxes next to the loading dock of a building.

Spike dubbed again. "And now you are amongst the trash where you belong."

Riley scrambled out of the trash onto the loading dock and picked up his baton where it had landed, Spike dubbing. "I will not take your rightful place, silly-haired Vampire."

Angel leapt high through the air landing on the dock before Riley can get to his feet as Spike dubbed. "Except it is your rightful place, permanently too."

Riley used the baton to block Angel's kick but the weapon was knocked out of his hand and the Vampire punches him across the face.

Spike dubbed. "You really think you can fight me, silly straight-haired boy?"

Still on his knees, Riley retaliated with a fist to Angel's groin and, as the Vampire bent down around his pain, Riley got to his feet picking up an empty liquor bottle and smashed it over his head.

Spike continued to dub. "Yes I can, and I will defeat you, because I love Buffy more!"

Riley grabbed Angel by the coat and rammed a knee into his back sending him against the building. Angel swung a backhand but Riley blocked it and slammed the same knee into his stomach, Spike dubbing. "And soul or no soul, your love will never compare to mine!"

Angel recovered and grabbed Riley's flak jacket slamming him back against a heavy door. He hit Angel in the face with a left cross, but Angel just slammed him against the door again, getting his hands around his throat, while Spike dubbed. "You're just a little boy who thinks infatuation is love. Me and Buffy have a forever love, and I use 12 different gels on my hair. Your silly hair can never compare!"

As Riley was forced down, under Angel's strength, he pulled out a taser from his jacket and shoved it into Angel's chest. The shock flung him back and he fell into the trash heap. Riley was on his feet and goes after him as Spike dubbed. "You have your strength, I have my tools. Let's make it fair."

Angel raised his head and growled at Riley, in full vamp face. Riley planted a hard kick into his chest and Angel tumbled out onto the pavement. Standing over him, Riley tries to hit him with the taser once more, but Angel caught his wrist, forcing him to drop it, and drove a fist into his stomach.

"What are you?" Spike asked in mock horror while pretending to be winded.

And then, mimicking a firm growl, Spike said. "I'm Batman!"

Angel lifted Riley over his head and growled as he ran with him across the alley to send him crashing into a group of storage drums against the side of a warehouse. Riley tumbled to the ground but Angel picked him up again and sends him flying to the other side of the alley. He landed on a pile of large metal conduit tubes, which broke his fall none to gently, and he flopped to the pavement.

Spike continued to dub. "I am Vengeance! I am the first love! I am the lame, broody Angel! And you are nothing, just convenient."

A loud engine was suddenly heard and taking the opportunity, Spike ran off, leaping onto another rooftop, getting away in time.

"Well, that was pathetic."


And its done. Hope all enjoyed and see you all next time with some other update.