He was freaking Naruto out. All day he'd been less... indifferent and more attentive. The usual scowl followed by the insult had been lost today. Seeing his face free of the anger always present had knocked Naruto a little off kilter. The training had ended and even Sakura had been thrown by Sasuke's lack of hostility toward the blonde, that she left without even so much as a smile to Sasuke. Sure as chunin they were all better. After Naruto had managed to bring Sasuke home Five years ago the hostility she had toward him had gone too. But this was still weird. Kakashi said his goodbye and Naruto whirled round on the Uchiha
"Okay, what are you doing?" He asked
Sasuke looked at him his face didn't even twitch into his scowl. He smiled softly and tilted his head to the side
"Well, I suppose I finally realised I don't have to keep everyone at a distance anymore. Especially you. You already know me better than anyone else" he shrugged putting his hands in his pockets and walking through the trees to the pathway. Stopping to wait for Naruto at the treeline.
"I don't know about that" Naruto said eyeing the other man suspiciously "I haven't been able to figure you out all day. And you've managed to scare off Sakura with actual decency... which is concerning on a number of levels" Naruto rambled. Because Sasuke was good with her today too not one insult or violent shrug off. And it seemed to have the opposite reaction it should on her. Sasuke chuckled and looked up toward the obscured sky blocked mostly by the trees.
"Yeah. Who knew all it would take was to be nice to her" he shook his head and Naruto halted mid step eyes wide at the sight of his best friend looking upward smiling, at peace. The swell of his heart was almost painful. I never thought I'd get to see it, Naruto thought, he looks... unburdened and more relaxed than i have ever seen.
"Sasuke..." he sighed and the raven haired man looked to him from the corner of his eye
"I need to tell you something" he said softly and Naruto felt his gut twist in panic. Any conversation that required an I need to tell you something, with the feeling it should have been 'we need to talk' never meant good things with him. Never.
"Okay" he choked out. Maybe it was something good, given how calm and in a good mood he had been in all day. He turned and stepped closer to the blond who stepped backwards into a tree, he didn't stop until he trapped Naruto between himself and the tree "uhh" Naruto couldn't speak his mind going blank "what are you doing?"
"I know I haven't been great at showing it" Sasuke began and stepped back a little giving Naruto minimal space "but I hope I haven't ruined any chances completely with my mistakes... and" he looked down, he looked...nervous?
"What are you talking about?" Naruto asked
"I love you" Sasuke said "I'm in love with you" he specified and Naruto tensed against the tree eyes widening while his heart tried to fall through his stomach. He smiled trying to lighten the sudden serious aura around them
"Come on man, seriously what's up?" But the fear in his best friends eyes wiped that smile from his face "wait... but-" he shook his head "you can barely stand me. Sure I'm your best friend but that's because I forced it on you. You tried to kill me multiple times" Naruto said at that Sasuke flinched his hand gripping Narutos jacket at his waist eyes widening as guilt and pain flashed across his face
"I... know" he whispered looking at their feet "I didn't understand it... and I didn't want those bonds" he sighed "But it's true, I've loved you from the beginning... it's why I tried to leave, to run from you and the feelings you were stirring... from you being the reason I failed" he shook his head glaring at his hand holding onto Naruto "I was a fool, and I'm thankful everyday that you never gave up on me, that you refused to let me go"
Naruto didn't know what to do, he didn't want to push him away, and rejecting him may push him far enough to defact again. The idea he'd lose him again stabbed him in the chest.
"So... I'm done running" Sasuke said taking Narutos hand smiling softly at him "I hope I haven't ruined any chance I have... and I am hoping, that you'd go on a date with me?" He asked his hope shining through at the end.
Naruto cleared his throat and squeezed his friends hand
"I'm... Sasuke I have a boyfriend" and his eyes snapped up to Naruto's surprise, pain and confusion all obvious on his porcelain face
"Since when?"
"About ten, eleven months" Naruto told him gently
"I haven't seen you with anyone" he said he shook his head "you aren't restrained enough to be casual"
It was true, casual sex was not something he had the capacity for, even before ever having a relationship he knew this much about himself. But he wasn't ready to announce this side of himself... the side that was completely free to be himself. Sure it was sad to keep him a secret but it would cause chaos in the group, everyone will ask questions and nag and tell his boyfriend he chose wrong, the village may reject it completely and then what would his boyfriend have? Him? Or would he realise hed chosen wrong? Naruto knew it was irrational, knew nothing would change his boyfriends mind, esoecially other people's opinions.
"I'm not ready to tell everyone" he admitted and Sasuke frowned "it's far from casual, I love him and for some insane reason I can't understand he loves me too"
"You're you, of course he loves you" Sasuke said eyes glazed over not really paying attention to what was in front of him
"That's my point" he smiled awkwardly up to the Raven. He glared down at me for the first time today and somehow that made the knot in my chest ease up a bit and then he scowled down at me
"I'm sorry" He said Naruto looked at him with questioning eyes but before he could speak Sasuke carried on "if you think your... not worthy of someone's love is because I treated you so horribly, if I never stopped people pulling you down" he looked angry but for the first time Naruto didn't think it was his fault. Sasuke was angry with himself. Naruto would be lying if he said Sasuke's treatment wasn't a part of it. Everyone's was. But Naruto learnt a long time ago that Sasukes way of showing his care was to call him a idiot, because somewhere along the way it wasn't a issue anymore... because Naruto was a idiot but not stupid.
"It's not so much that anymore" Naruto smiled at him "it's just... who I am compared to him" he shrugged and then thought the same is said for Sasuke if he thought about it. He was loud, chatty, outgoing and I very stark contrast to Sasuke who was very introverted, he only spoke when truly necessary and was almost a genius ninja. Frowning Naruto looked at his friend "Why do you?"
"Why wouldn't I?" He scoffed and the tension of his strange behaviour was easing with each normal action he made, even if the words weren't "You're hope for me Naruto, for a family, for a place to belong. You've never let me down even when I let you down. Honestly did you really think I wouldn't fall for you?"
"No" he shook his head softly "I thought you'd become my family. My brother" sasuke winced at the words his back slouching "I always said it, I never once let you forget that you were my best friend and my brother"
"I know" he responded not looking up to Naruto "but I hoped somewhere hidden you felt the same"
"I'm sorry" Naruto whispered jumping when Sasuke gripped his wrist in a firm hold
"Can't you give me a chance? To prove I deserve you, that I've changed and can be what you need"
"I don't need you to change for that, I love you the way you are, accepted your a little rough around the edges. I don't doubt that you'd love me completely and I'd see this... softer side to you. It's just that I am in love with him. Always have been" Naruto shrugged softly and then looked down to their feet "I'm sorry, Sasuke" he whispered Sasuke put his hand on Narutos chin making him look up at him, leaning in close making Naruto lean back a bit
"I'm not giving up" Naruto put his hand over Sasuke's mouth that was getting too close
"Sasu-"
"Naruto?" A familiar angry voice came
Naruto froze his blood ran cold because that was not the tone he liked to hear from his boyfriend. Both boys turned to the one who was coming closer
"Shikamaru" Naruto gasped and looked to Sasuke who was glaring at the intrusion. He straightened up and Naruto let his mouth go
"Trying to have a private conversation here" Sasuke snapped and Shikamaru's lip curled back baring his teeth at the Uchiha. Naruto laughed nervously and took a step to Shikamaru taking his hand stepping close to him and putting his body against Shikamaru's
"Looked like more than that" Shikamaru said his face going back to his lazy tired expressions, even his tone
"So what if it was?" Sasuke challenged then blinked looking at how Naruto was, how Shikamaru had put his hand around Naruto's waist "him? You chose this lazy nobody?"
Naruto frowned at Sasuke trying to remember that he was hurt
"I told you it didn't make sense" Naruto shrugged but relaxed completely against Shikamaru, the warmth of safety he had made it impossible for Naruto not to. And Sasuke didnt miss that. Shikamaru rolled his eyes and moved his hand from Narutos hip to take his hand
"We're late" he said and Naruto smiled up at him
"Sorry, training went on a little longer and then... Sasuke had to talk to me"
"Yeah, talk" Shikamaru nodded
"Sorry, Sasuke" Naruto said softly "but we need to go. I'm um..."
"Don't worry, I said I wasn't giving up didn't I?" he smirked at Naruto and looked at Shikamaru eyes burning with a warning before he turned to leave the couple. Naruto groaned and put his head on his boyfriends shoulder
"Don't" he said looking up and Shikamaru smirked down at him
"What?" He feigned
"I don't need to I told you so, okay you were right I accept it"
"I wasn't going to say that" he sighed and pulled Naruto to follow "Come on my parents are waiting"
"You know we could still wait!" Naruto said holding his hand tightly as his anxiety shot up
"No. They will love you, just like I do. It'll just take some getting used to" Shikamaru comforted him and placed a kiss on his temple.
Sasuke watched them from the trees his heart felt heavy... he had no chance. He may have said he wasnt going to give up, and he meant it. But he had never, in all the years he has known Naruto seen him look like that. Happy, releaxed, and... there was something Sasuke couldn't place. Like the Naruto he'd seen all these years was only the surface. He didnt sense the hyperactive, blundering fool. Cursing himself of his ridiculous pride, his enflated entitled ego