Before Us
"Sgt. Kay."
Looking up from his hands, David could see a doctor standing in front of him, jumping up, his eyes searching for anything that would give him answers. "Please, is she alright?" His voice weak, fear coursing through his veins.
Dr. Atkinson hated this part of the job, surgery was never a guarantee, but he had high hopes for this patient. Now, however, she wasn't likely, even with ventilators, her body was going to deteriorate, if she survived, he'd be surprised. "As of now, she is in a medically induced coma, her brain swelled as we tried excise the tumor from her brain."
Deacon could feel his heart clenching, unintentionally taking a step towards the man, "Please, is she going to be alright?" She needed to be alright, she was the mother of his kids and his wife.
Rubbing the back of his neck, "Sgt. I wish I had a better prognosis, but she has a 10% chance, and I'm afraid that's being optimistic." Clearing his throat, "I will have neuro checks done, every few hours, but right now, we just have to wait and see."
Taking several steps back, Deacon could feel the air leaving his lungs, sparing a glance around the room, his eyes settled on her mother, who looked just as distraught. Falling into the chair, Deacon could feel hot tears starting to stream down his face. She was his wife of 8 years, mother to their children, and now he was being told that she was going to die, or worse, live in a vegetive state.
He knew that wasn't something that she would have wanted, hell it was something that they discussed in length over the years. But it was more about his wishes, because his job as a SWAT officer was far more dangerous. Wiping the tears from his face, moving to stand, "I need to be with her." Doing his best to keep himself composed.
Dr. Atkinson understood, "Please, follow me." He wanted to broach the subject of organ donation, but he knew that it wasn't an appropriate time for such things. Perhaps in the morning, when he and his family had time to process what was happening to their dynamic.
Deacon held her hand, as much as he wanted to keep ahold of her forever, he knew that this wasn't what she wanted. Placing a kiss on her lips, "Annie, I want to bring the kids by, they need to say goodbye." Knowing that Luca was bringing them, he just prayed that they would get here in time.
Cathleen stared down at her daughter, her heart breaking as she watched the ventilator push and pull the air into her lungs. "David, we need to move her to an ICU, nursing home." Determined to do what she could to keep her daughter alive.
Flinching as those words left her mouth, he knew that he would need to deal with that after, but for now, it was about letting Matthew and Lila spend as much time with her before anything else happened. Hearing a light knock on the door, David looked over his shoulders, finding his children there and Luca with sadness in his eyes.
Extending his hand, tears filling his eyes, this was going to be the hardest thing that they'd experienced at such a young age. Matthew was 5 and Lila was 3, it wasn't fair, and a part of him wanted to blame God for what was happening to his family, but even through all of his grief, he knew that he just was angry, and looking for anyone to blame.
"Daddy? Is mommy going to be alright?" His son asked.
Picking him up, then Lila, sitting them on his lap, "No son, she's going to go with God, like Grandpa." Sighing at the thought, they lost their grandfather last year, now they were losing their mother.
Luca stood watch over the family, sitting outside the room, he sent a message to the team, he knew how much Deac cared for his family. Sending off the text, while he wanted the team to be here, he knew that wasn't want Deac wanted or even needed right now, this time was for the kids.
Buck looked down at the text, frowning a bit, looking around the war room, his eyes found everyone looking for answers. Sighing, "She's in a medically induced coma, doctors aren't optimistic."
Hondo closed his eyes, he knew that Annie was his life, outside of his kids. "Is there anything we can do?" he asked the group.
Hicks closed his eyes, he just lost his wife only a year ago, it was something that he was still struggling with every day. Clearing his throat, "No, there isn't." Seeing their eyes snap to him, "Just be there with him, support him when you can, but this is something that he's going to have to process."
Nodding, Buck looked around the room, Hondo, he trusted not to overdo it, he wasn't overly emotional in that way, Tan, he looked up to Deac, but trusted him not to push, Luca would be there for him in any way he could be. It was Chris that he had to honestly worry about, she had a habit of tossing herself into people's lives, it came from a loving place, but this was not one of those times.
Looking over at Hicks, Buck could see the ghosts of his loss etched across his face, if anyone was going to be able to reach him, it would be their boss. Shaking his head, his eyes turned back towards the team, "Whatever Deac needs, we do what we can to help him, but" his eyes settling on Chris, "we do not push him, he'll need time to grieve."
Chris couldn't help but frown at that, but she knew that Buck wasn't wrong either, "I got it boss." She said, but she knew that after this shift, she was going to head to the hospital. Looking around the room she could see that the rest of the team was going to as well.
Cathleen stood outside the room, her body vibrating with anger, "How can you just kill her?!" she whisper yelled at him.
It took all of his training to remain calm, yelling at his MIL was not something that he wanted to do, especially in a time like this, but he would not allow anyone to say that he was killing his wife. "Cathy, you have no right to say that to me." Watching her eyes get wide, "We discussed this in length about our last wishes, so you need to back off, now."
Standing her ground, Cathleen didn't care that he was a cop, or her husband, Annie was her daughter, and she would do anything she could to protect her. Stepping back, she found the doctor staring at them, "Until a judge rules, you can't kill her!" she yelled out. Reaching for her phone, she made her calls, doing everything she could to stop them from killing her daughter.
Rubbing his face, David couldn't believe what she was doing, turning towards the doctor, his face telling him everything that he needed to know, until this was resolved through legal channels, he couldn't do anything. "Even though I'm her husband?" he asked, his voice defeated.
Dr. Atkinson hung his head, "I believe you are 100% in the right and have the final say, but once there is any legal action, until it is settled in courts, the hospital legal team will not allow us to do anything. It's for our protection, as well as yours."
David stared into the man's eyes, he could see his sympathy as well as frustration, "I understand that you have you a job to do, but until this is resolved, make her as comfortable as possible, please. I don't want my wife to suffer."
Sighing, "I promise Sgt. Kay, I will keep her as comfortable as I can," as he headed into the room, he looked over at the man, seeing his heart break, "I'm sorry that this is happening." Turning his attention towards his patient, the only upside was that legal and the courts usually have a ruling relatively quickly in such matters.
Checking her vitals, grateful that she was holding steady, but as he looked at the monitors, she was barely holding on. It was only the machines breathing for her that kept her alive, shaking his head, he could 100% understand someone's beliefs, even if he didn't agree with them, but to argue with a husband over his wife, that just seemed wrong. Performing another neuro check, if anything to ensure that when a judge came to the room that he did everything he could to show that she was brain dead.
Four Days Later
Judge Anderson looked at all the papers in front of him, everything about it was clear cut, but family members sometimes made these matters far worse than what they really needed to be. But how does one tell a grieving mother that she didn't have any rights, and that her final wishes that were in the will, superseded her faith.
"Ms. Buchannan, I can see that you have great love for your daughter, and while your faith is to be admired, I have to look at the whole picture that has been presented to me." Rubbing the back of his neck, sitting up a little higher, turning to the husband, who looked broken at the whole situation. "Mr. Kay, I'm so sorry that you and your family are dealing with such a loss."
Clearing his throat, "Thank you, your Honor." Tension building in his body, while he felt that he had the law on his side, rulings like these could go either way. Looking over at Molly, grateful that she took this case pro bono, but Cathy did come with a heavy hitter.
Cathy stared at his face, the man was stoic, normally she was pretty good about reading those around her, but this man, he was making it exceedingly difficult.
Exhaling slowly, "In matters of the family, it's always hard to make a ruling, for someone is going to be hurt, or feel betrayed but what I have decided." Sparing a glance out in his courtroom, he could see all of Sgt. Kay's SWAT team sitting behind him, ready to support him no matter which way he ruled.
"However, I feel that even if you and Mrs. Kay were not married, her wishes in her will were clear," turning to her mother, "Ms. Buchannan, I can't fathom the loss of a child, but she had a beautiful life, and from what I can see a loving husband." Taking a moment to collect his thoughts, his eyes fell between the two of them.
"In the case of Kay vs. Buchannan, it is this court's ruling, to allow Sgt. David Kay, to pull life support." Banging the gavel, he could hear two separate reactions, cries of anguish and gasps of relief. "Ms. Buchannan, please, I implore you, do not take this ruling as a loss, but a chance to mend the wounds."
Cathy looked over at her lawyer, "You were a waste of money." She hissed out. Her eyes finding the judge, hating his ruling, but for now there was nothing that she could really do. Turning her attention to David, pushing her way past her lawyer, "I hope you're happy." With tears in her eyes, she headed home, because there was no way she was going to watch someone kill her daughter.
Hanging his head, David knew that this wasn't going to be easy on her, it sure as hell wasn't easy on him, but as much as hated this, he knew Annie didn't want to be stuck on a machine, and her organs if they were able to, be donated to people that needed it.
It wasn't until he felt Buck pull him in for a man hug did he realize that he was finally free to release his wife. "Thanks for coming to support me." He said to his team.
Chris couldn't help but cry, while she wasn't particularly close to Annie, she couldn't help but feel bad that her mother was putting so much stress on Deac for trying to honor his wife's wishes. Wrapping her arms around him, "Seriously, if you need anything, please know no matter what, you can call me, us."
Feeling some hot tears running down his face, David couldn't believe how blessed he was to have his extended family give him the support that his own mother-in-law wasn't capable of at this time. But he had faith that God would help heal her heart, for his faith was all he had in his heart at the moment.
Squeezing her shoulder a little tighter, "Thank you Chris," looking around the courtroom, his eyes looking at each of his teammates, "Thank you all." Taking a step back, it was time to get his kids, and bring them to the hospital, it was time to say goodbye to their mother.
Time Jump 7 Days
David stared down at her headstone, while her body was cremated, he wanted a place for him and the kids to come visit her. Wiping his face, it seemed as though that was what he was doing all the time, at least in his more private moments.
"When we made all of our plans, it was always in the back of our minds that I wasn't going to be the one that came home." Doing his best to contain his emotions, but it was hard, clearing his throat, "The kids are at home with Luca, Matthew said he wasn't ready, and well Lila, she's 3 so I don't think that she fully understands what's happening."
Leaning forward, he couldn't help but cry, "Annie, I miss you, so much." Coughing a bit, "I promise I will do my best to mend the bridge between your mom and I, and more importantly I will do what I can to raise our kids with the love that you gave them. I'm not sure how I'm going to manage it all between work and them, but I swear to you I will find a way." Placing the flowers down, "I love you."
Spending a few more moments, David couldn't help but say a silent prayer, hoping that he would manage the ability to work, and take care of his children.
Luca looked down at the kids, he could see that Matthew was sad, but what 5-year-old wouldn't miss his mom? "Want to get something to eat?" he asked him.
"I guess." he said. Looking over at his sister that was playing with her toys, he couldn't help but be mad at her. Folding his arms over his chest, "Uncle Luca, does God exist?"
His eyes went wide, knowing that while his faith was a little shaken, Deacon still believed, and as far as he knew Annie wanted her kids to have their faith in God. "Yea, bud, he does."
Huffing, he couldn't help but cry a bit, "Then why would God take my mommy?" Not understanding at all.
Luca felt lost, but he was going to try, Deacon had a lot to worry about now, there was no way that he was going to give the man more to worry about. "I can't answer that dude. Only God knows his reasons." Hoping that for now, that would suffice, but when Deac got home, he would let him know that Matthew was asking questions.
That wasn't the answer that he was looking for. Maybe at church, Father Daniel would have the answers. "Do you think we can get pizza?" he asked him.
Picking up his cell, "Yea, we can definitely have pizza." Hoping that with some of his favorite food, it would make him feel a little better, at least for a while.
Walking into his house, it felt empty, but perhaps that was what Annie did, she made this house a home. Looking around, he could see the remains of the pizza that Luca ordered, smiling, while it wasn't the home cooked meal that they were used to, but until he figured out how to cook well, take out was going to be how he fed them.
Finding Luca outside sitting on the patio, joining him, "Thank you for watching the kids." He said, taking a seat in the chair.
"It was no problem; they are great kids." Sighing, "Matthew is question why God allowed Annie to die," cringing at his face, "I just told him that only God knows the reasons," taking a second to collect his thoughts, "I know you're going to be dealing with a lot, especially when you finally head back to work," pulling out his mom's number, "my mom said that she'd take the kids while you're at work."
Gripping the paper in his hands, David couldn't stop the tears that slid down his face, "Luca, I don't even know what to say." Feeling a wave of emotion, all he could do was lean back, and feel blessed that he had a friend that would be willing to help him out.
Patting his shoulder, Luca wished he could do more, but this was something that he could do. "Hey, we're family, and as much as I love my brother, you're the one I look up to, so please, I will do anything I can to help."
Closing his eyes, David couldn't help but feel some weight come off his shoulders, at least childcare was one less thing that he really had to worry about but based on the conversation that he recently had with Cathy, she was waiting for a moment, a singular moment for his job to overtake his children, then she would come after him for custody. But that was another issue for him to deal with at a much later time.
TIME JUMP 1 YEAR
"Luca, how's your mom doing?" Buck asked him.
Sighing, "Yeah, she's fine, but with her surgery, and the physical therapy that she needs once she heals, it's going to be at least 8 months before she's completely mobile again." Frowning a bit, "15 and driving drunk, how the hell does that even happen?"
Buck couldn't help but agree, the kids today, they were crazy, wild, and had absolutely no respect for themselves or others. "I want to blame the parents, but honestly who fucking knows." Leading him out to the lot, grateful that they were at end of shift, pleased that they all made it home safely.
"Want to grab a beer?" Buck asked him, figuring that a little distraction could give him something else to think about.
Giving him a small smile, Luca nodded, "Yeah, let me go home and shower, meet you at Stucky's in an hour?"
"Yeah, that sounds good, I need a shower too. Why don't you see if Deac wants to head out, I'll reach out to the rest." Jumping into his truck, Buck made his way home, he was starting to worry about his team, Deac lost his wife, and had a battle-axe of a mother-in-law. It was Luca's mom who took care of his kids when he was at work, but now with her accident it wasn't going to be too long before Cathy used this to take the kids away.
David looked down at Lila, her little body wrapped around his, smiling that she fell asleep watching Wild Kratts. Turning his eyes towards his son, who was bent in an such an awkward position on the couch, it had been a hard year, and with Mrs. Luca's help and love, it made all of this so much easier on them. For that he would be forever grateful for all her help.
Tucking his arms under Lila, lifting her up, he made his way into her room, "Goodnight, my love." Placing a small kiss on her forehead. Turning back towards the living room, chuckling a bit when he found his son practically upside down. Lifting him up, walking back to his room, as he placed him down on the bed, he smiled as he rolled to the side flinging his arm over his face. "Goodnight, buddy."
Shutting off the lights, David found himself sitting on the porch, his eyes looking up into the sky, looking for some guidance. He was grateful for the love, time, and affection that Carol Luca provided for his children when he was working, and hell even having them stay the night at her place on the overnight shifts.
Bowing his head, David made the sign of the peace, "Loving God, I pray that you will comfort Mrs. Luca in her suffering, lend skill to the hands of your healers, and bless the means used for her cure. Give me such confidence in the power of your grace, that even when she is afraid, I may put my whole trust in you, through our savior Jesus Christ. Amen."
While it wasn't much, he wanted to send a prayer for her speedy recovery. He was trying his best not to be selfish, but the dark cloud that was his mother-in-law loomed over his head, and now that he no longer had the appropriate care for his children, he knew it would only be a matter of time before she found out that he was trying to juggle his job and their care.
"Damn it." he said, jumping out of his chair. He always did his best to maintain control and his anger, but things were finally starting to find a balance, and now another blow to his family. Running his hand over his face, he was barely keeping everything afloat, as much as Carol helped, he couldn't work as much overtime as he normally would have if Annie was still around, because he never wanted to take advantage of her.
Fear started to fill him, without Carol Luca being able to watch Matthew and Lila, not being able to work overtime, there was no way he would be able to afford a nanny or after school care. Knowing Cathy, she'd have that lawyer sending him paperwork by the end of the week.
Feeling his phone in his pocket, David had no desire to talk to anyone, but he wasn't built to hide from his problems. Seeing the screen, "Hey Luca, how's your mom feeling?" While he had a million things to worry about, Carol's wellbeing was far more important to him than his worries.
Smiling into his phone, Luca couldn't help but respect the hell out of him, he knew that without his mom being able to help, his world was about come crashing down. "She's good, she's out of surgery, resting, doctors will have her on bedrest for the next 3 weeks, with some light PT."
"I'm glad to hear, is there anything that I can do?" Hoping that there was something that he could do to start repaying her kindness.
"Nah man, just send prayers, and maybe have the brats come by, I know she's going to miss being around them all the time." Which was the truth, they were the closet she had to grandkids.
"I'll bring them by tomorrow after school." Hopefully with the few days he took off, he'd be able to figure out a solution for his kids.
Luca couldn't help but smile, "Thanks Deac, I know she'll appreciate that." Seeing the bar, "I know you might not be able to, but I wanted to invite you to Stucky's, grab a beer maybe."
David wanted to, hell a part of him really needed to, but he didn't know anyone that he could trust with his kids, or someone that would be here on such short notice. "Luca, man, you know I'd like that, but don't have any babysitter, next time though." If there was a next time, if he couldn't figure out how to do his job while taking care of the kids, it wouldn't be long before he had to leave SWAT, but perhaps that's what he needed to do, his kids had to come first.
Frowning a bit, Luca missed being able to spend time with Deac, but being a single dad to the kids, that took up all his free time. "Yeah, I get it man." Putting his truck in park, Luca got out, "Hey, if you need anything tonight, call me, OK?"
"Yeah, I will. Have a good night, tell the team, Hi for me."
"Don't worry, I will. Later man."
Putting the phone in his pocket, David made his way into the house, his mind immediately going to what he could do. Perhaps, he should contact Cathy, see if she would watch the kids while he worked, as much as he hated the idea of leaving SWAT, he'd run patrol again if that's what it took.
Chris listened as everyone talked about their lives, however, when Luca mentioned that Cathy threatened Deacon with taking the kids away as soon as she had proof that he wasn't a fit parent, that shit sent her into a rage. Keeping herself composed was probably only accomplished through all her damn training.
"Why is she so vile?" she asked the group.
Hondo shook his head, "In her mind, he allowed her daughter to die, so she needs to get back at him." Sighing, it was a shame too, Deac was probably the most honest and loyal man he truly knew.
Buck couldn't help but agree, "It's a terrible situation all around, and unfortunately, there aren't a lot of resources within the department that help single parents on the job."
Tossing a peanut into the ashtray, hearing that just upset her more, "That's such bullshit, we put our lives on the line for this city, for the people, but when we need help, it's like a huge fuck you." She loved her job, her team, and being a SWAT officer, but this situation just scared her, Deacon couldn't afford a live-in nanny, at least not on a cop's salary.
Realizing that she wasn't going to be good company, Chris said her goodbyes, and drove home. As she found herself sitting at a red light, she couldn't help but think of what she could do to help her friend. It was the honk from the car behind her that caused her to move, turning the corner to head to her apartment, Chris practically slammed on her brakes.
Pulling over, she reached for her phone, dialing, hoping to God that she would answer, because if she said yes, she was going to turn around and head to Deac's.
"Hello?" a voice being woken from a sleep.
"Isa, I'm sorry to wake you, but I need to talk, it's urgent." Chris tried to keep her panic from her voice, but this was the only solution that she could think of.
Sitting up, rubbing her eyes, "Chris, are you OK? Did you have an accident with SWAT?" she asked worried for her friend.
"No, I'm fine, so is my team." Pausing, "I need a favor." Closing her eyes, Chris quickly explained what was happening, and hoped Isa wouldn't just hang up on her.
Grabbing his gun, David made his way to the front door, it was almost midnight, peering through the peep hole, he found Chris looking excited and scared. Swinging the door open, "Chris, what's going on, are you alright?" he asked her.
Stepping around him, Chris could see his face, looking distraught, stressed and everything else one could be in a situation like what he was face. "I'm fine." Looking around, seeing the house, while it wasn't dirty, it wasn't clean either, but it was hard to manage alone. "Can we sit, please."
Leading her towards the couch, David put his gun up, and found her practically bouncing, "What's going on?" He asked her, taking a seat across from her.
"Look, with Luca's mom going to be out of commission for the foreseeable future, you have no one that you can trust to watch the kids, right?" Trying to make sure that she had the full view of what was going on.
Nodding, "Right." Giving her a concerned look, "Chris, I appreciate you being worried, but I swear, I'll figure it out." Which he did, he was going to take a desk Sgt. job at Metro, while it wasn't where he wanted to go in his career, it was the only solution he could think of that would keep Cathy from fighting him for custody.
Chris could read his face, he was going to quit SWAT, "Deac, you can't leave, if you go elsewhere, you'll lose the pay bump for being on SWAT."
Hanging his head, David loved and hated that about her, she was great at reading someone. "Chris, I don't want to leave, but if I don't and get on more of a normal tour, Cathy will come after me, I lost Annie, I can't lose my kids."
Reaching into her bag, she pulled out a file, "Her name is Isabella Hayes, she's 28, from a little town in Idaho, she's on a full ride scholarship to UCLA, and is finishing up her Ph.D in childhood education & development."
Taking the file, David opened it, curious about what this was about. Taking in the information that was in the file, CPR trained, knows 2 separate languages, and of course seeing that her father was a cop for over 30 years, it was impressive. His eyes found Chris watching him. "While she's impressive, I couldn't afford her."
Placing her hand on his, "She said she'd be your live-in nanny, for free. I know you don't like charity, but Isa is an amazing person, her dad was a cop, so she understands better than anyone, so before you just say no, would you at least agree to call her?"
Feeling a tear run down his face, "I can't ask her to live/work for free, she'll need money." He was so tempted to just say yes, but he wouldn't want to take advantage of anyone.
Chris knew that this wasn't something that he would just jump on, but she had to try, "Deac, she has her own money, sold her families property to come here, she rents a room in my building, mostly because she didn't want to buy a home until she got her Ph.D, her car is paid off, and she lives off her interest."
Scooting a little closer, "Deac, when I told her what happened, and what you're facing, she didn't even hesitate, she wants to help you, and those kids. So, please, talk to her, that's all I ask, and if you still aren't convinced, then I promise I will not guilt you for leaving SWAT."
Pulling her into a hug, "OK."
Kissing his cheek, "I told her you'd call her sometime before 10." Standing up, "I need to go, early shift."
David watched as Chris drove off, the file still in his hands, as he shut the door, he couldn't help but open it up, a little hope filled him. Sending a prayer, David hoped that this was his sign that things were finally going to go right, because he needed something good in his life, without a million complications.
A/N: This is going to start 1 year before season 1. I absolutely adore Annie Kay, she is an amazing SWAT wife, and they make a wonderful couple in the TV: Show. However, I wanted to write a story that reflected his loss, and possibly a different side to Annie. (So, don't kill me. Please.)