Sam informed her superior officers of her CMO's recommendations and after receiving the green light had a meeting with her 2IC. Where it was decided how the work should be done in her absence. After everything was agreed, she called Jack. Who was very surprised when she asked if he could pick her up. He said he would be in the Mountain in twenty minutes. Top. So she filed everything she had to file, saved the documents in her computer, upload several things to her laptop and close her office. Then she went topside. She was signing off when Jack arrived.
He got off the car immediately.
"Are you alright? What happened?", he asked looking at her from head to toe.
"I'm fine. Doctor's orders. I'm starting to work part-time", she said getting inside the Escalade.
Jack smiled. Go Lisa!
"Okay", he said, also getting inside.
"Mama", Jake said smiling when he saw her.
"Hi buddy", Sam said, grabbing his foot. She couldn't turn around because of her belly.
"So we're going home?", Jack asked looking at her.
"Unless you have to go somewhere else…", she said putting her sunglasses on.
"Nops. Home it is", he said putting the car on drive.
Once at home Jack grabbed his son and took him to the kitchen. It was lunch time.
"Are you hungry?", he asked Sam who was taking her shoes and sitting in the couch.
"Not really", she said closing her eyes. She felt so tired.
"Okay, so I'm giving Jake his lunch. Why don't you rest?", he proposed.
"Hmm", she said putting a pillow behind her head and laying on the couch.
Jack helped her get comfortable on the couch and placed a soft blanket over her. She was asleep before he left the living room. He took care of Jake and then put him for his afternoon nap. With a silent house he went back to the living room where his wife was still sleeping. He sat on one of the chairs and start reading his book. After a while she woke up.
"Jack?", she asked rubbing her eyes.
"Yeah honey. Good nap?", he asked. Putting his book down.
"Actually yes. I hadn't realized I was so tired", she said siting on the couch.
"Want anything to eat?", he asked.
She shook her head.
"No, heartburn", she said.
Jack got up. "I'll get you the antacids", he said.
"Thanks", she said.
After taking the antacids, Sam started to feel some relief. Jack was back on his chair.
"So tell me more about this part-time thing", he asked curious.
"Lisa thinks I need more rest. And my hormones are too unpredictable", she said hoping he wouldn't go there.
"Is that what happened yesterday? Your hormones got unpredictable?", he asked carefully.
Sam blushed. Of course he wouldn't miss this chance.
"Fine Jack. Let's get over with that. What do you want to know?", she asked loosening her hair.
"I just want to talk with you, Sam. That's all", he said. "Don't shut me down", he asked.
"Yes, you're right. I shut you down yesterday. I'm sorry. But things got a little out of control and I become overwhelmed. And to be honest I was going to tell you what had happened but then I arrived home and found everyone having a great time and…". Sam looked at the ceiling and laughed.
"And I lost it, Jack. Just lost it! Something inside me snapped and it was either start shouting with all of you or isolate me and shut everyone out. So I decided it was best to let you have your fun and just shut myself in the room. That's why I locked the door", she said.
"Jesus Sam. You don't have to isolate yourself from me, honey", he said.
"It was too much, Jack. I didn't want to fight you", she said.
"Why were you going to fight me, Sam?", he asked.
"Because yesterday when I was needed most as a CO I broke down crying! I totally failed as a CO. All because of this fucking pregnancy!", she said with a trembling voice.
"You didn't fail, Sam. Your body betrayed you. It's different", he pointed out.
Sam fisted both hands in the couch.
"Well, Jack. It doesn't look good no matter how you put it. It's my second commanding post. In the first I was dismissed. In the second I broke down crying during a crisis. I can see a reassignment to the fucking desert in a very near future!" she almost yelled.
Jack tried to stay calm. She was taking this too personally, like Atlantis.
"Honey, you're pregnant. Everyone knows that. Lisa does your medical evaluations. She's got you covered. You don't have to worry about that", he said.
Sam looked at him.
"Have you spoken with Lisa!? What did she tell you?", she asked suddenly very quiet.
Shit! Jack knew when he had been caught.
"I met her when I went to the Mountain to get the Escalade. She mentioned what had happened. I was worried sick, Sam and you weren't talking to me", he said.
Sam closed her eyes, shaking her head.
"I'll have her reassigned so fast, she won't know what hit her", she said between her teeth.
"No you won't", Jack said getting up.
Sam opened her eyes.
"Excuse me?!", she asked surprised.
"She's your doctor but she's also your friend. She cares about you. That why she told me what happened. So you're not going to punish her because she talked to me. Blame me all you want but you're not going to put blames on your CMO!", he said sitting on the couch next to her.
"Since when do you give me orders?", she asked a little baffled.
"I'm asking you, Sam. And trying to put some sense in that head of yours", he said.
"What else did she told you?", Sam asked.
"You're talking about the airmen's comment? Yes, she told me about that too", he said.
Sam bit her lip hard.
"Great, just fucking great", she said putting her head on the couch.
"It was an asshole comment, Sam", Jack said.
"True nonetheless", she said.
"Just because I never cried in the control room it doesn't mean I didn't have my own meltdowns when you got sick in the infirmary, or SG-1 went MIA. I just had then in my office, my truck or at my house", he admitted.
Sam looked at him surprised but even so she didn't concede.
"But no one ever saw you crying in the control room like me", she insisted.
"Are your forgetting I was professionally trained not the break down under no circumstance, Sam? For years! That I was taught to control my emotions? And that I'm a man so I don't get pregnant. As such I don't get my hormones all messed up. Do I need to go on…?", he asked.
"Fine, all that is very good. But I'm a woman and you know damn well that women have it different. I always had. Since the beginning. And the higher I go the more perfect I have to be", she said.
Jack sighed.
"Samantha Carter-O'Neill, that's something we'll have to disagree. I loved your father. He was a great man and an excellent officer but he was a lousy father and he messed big time with you. He demanded perfection from you when he shouldn't. And then you took it to another level with that big genius brain of yours. Your idea of perfection is impossible to reach, honey. It was already when we were at SG-1. It's pure madness right now. You're not perfect, Sam. No one is. And no one expects you to be", he said grabbing her hand.
She continued to look at him in silence.
"I love you, Sam. You're not perfect and that's okay. I never expected you to be perfect and I never cared about your flaws either. You are human, for crying out loud! I don't give a shit that you hate cooking and don't cook. I love cooking so I cook. There, no big deal", he said squeezing her hand.
"But I also saw you prepare some meals for Jake when it was necessary and the kid is still alive and running like lightning. So, honey, it's not all bad. It may not be perfect but it's okay. And that is what matters", he said.
She looked at their joined hands. In silence.
"On the other side, you fix everything that is broken is this house. Our cars hardly have to go to a mechanic because you always know what's wrong with them and you make our house safe. Yes, Sam you took great care in making our house safe and you know what that means to me", he said squeezing her hand again.
"It was just a wall safe", she said in a low voice.
"No, Sam. It wasn't just a wall safe. It's a safe that took you months of studying and preparing. And that you build it yourself and then put it alone. And made sure it was okay. That only you and I could open it. That our service guns would be locked there and Jake would never get them. You knew exactly what that meant to me and you did it", he said with his voice full of emotion.
Sam was breathing faster now.
"I always believed I had to be perfect in everything I did", she said.
"Well, honey, it's time we start taking that idea down. Because otherwise our children will grow up also feeling that too. And they will suffer as much as you did. Because perfection hurts. A lot. And they should learn that is okay to fail sometimes. And learn from their mistakes. And that we'll love them even when they fail. Especially when they fail, Sam. That we'll be there for them", Jack said caressing her hair.
Sam hid her head in his neck, crying.
"God, Jack. I'm just a failure. I'm a terrible mother", she said sobbing.
He hugged her the best her belly allowed.
"No you're not. You're a wonderful mother. Jake loves you very much. You just have to give yourself some slack, honey. And stop aiming perfection at everything you do. It's exhausting Sam. And not healthy", he said, kissing her neck.
"My brain is programmed like that, Jack", she said sniffling.
"Well, you're the genius. Start unprogramming it", he said with a smile.
She smiled, through her sniffles.
"I wished it was that simple", she said.
"I'm sure you'll be successful", he said looking at her. "And I'm here to make sure they know how to just be kids".
Sam smiled. "Yes, Jack. You're more than perfect to make sure they know how to be kids", she said.
He grinned. "See, perfect combination!"
She passed a hand through his hair.
"Why do you keep up with me, Jack?", she asked seriously.
He grabbed her face with both hands, looking at her blue eyes.
"Because you are the love of my life", he said also very seriously.
Jack started to kiss her lips and neck, one hand going down between her legs. Sam moaned as he started to rubbed her trying to get her worked up and wet.
"Ready?", he asked after a lot of foreplay.
"Yes", Sam answered, climbing on top of him and straddling his legs with him sitting on the couch. It was one of the few positions that was comfortable for her. She orgasmed hard when Jack grabbed her hips and helped her move, thrusting hard. Jack came almost immediately after.
"God, that was fast", she said, breathing hard on his neck.
"Yeah", Jack groaned, holding her.
They stayed on the couch for a couple of minutes, until Sam started to feel cramps on her legs. Jack helped her move.
"Do you want to go to lay down?", he asked.
Sam nodded.
"I think so", she said starting to climb the stairs.
He helped her change clothes and tucked her in. Then kissed her forehead and let her rest.