In the morning, Jack stirred a little and turned to his side. He was now spooned up against a warm soft body. His eyes snapped open immediately and he saw his wife's back, sleeping against him, pressed tightly into him.
"Oh I've missed this so much", he said kissing her back slowly.
His head fell down on the pillow and pulled her tighter against him, burying his face in her hair, kissing her head, her neck, her shoulders. Sam moaned a sleepy sound, but he didn't care, just hugged her tighter.
"If you keep that up you'll be inside me again, she whispered.
"Would that be a terrible thing?", he asked with a teasing smile.
"No", she also smiled. "But I don't have enough energy for it. I'm sorry", she said turning around and caressing his always messed up hair.
"No problem. I like to wake like this. It's more than enough", he said, pulling her to him.
"Me too", she said still not totally awake.
They stayed in bed a little more until they heard Grace crying over the baby monitor. Jack quickly got up and went to her room. In less than a minute she was attached to Sam's breast, happily eating. When she was almost finished her cell rang. Jack looked at the number. It was from the Mountain.
"Here", he gave her the cell.
"General Carter", she said still holding Grace.
Jack watch her face change from apparently relaxed to quickly upset. Her eyebrows were now together as she frowned.
"Very well. I'll be there as soon as I can", she said. Hanging up.
Jack looked at her surprised.
"What do you mean? You'll be there?", he asked.
Sam caressed Grace's face for some time like she was gaining time.
"Sam?!", Jack insisted.
She finally looked at him.
"It was Harriman. He received orders to contact me. I have to report to duty as soon as possible. Things are not well in the galaxy apparently. We're been attacked by an unknown enemy and the brass want me back at the Mountain. ASAP", she said.
"That wasn't the plan", Jack said, sitting on the bed.
Sam continued to rock Grace in her arms.
"No, not at all. Grace's just three-months old. It's too soon", she said almost in a whisper.
He put one hand in her leg, gently caressing it.
"We'll be alright, honey. Don't worry", he said trying to comfort her.
Sam felt a tear dropping.
"Yeah…The problem is that I don't know if I'll be alright", she said looking at him.
"It will be tough but you'll go to work and then come back home to us. We'll be here waiting for you. And if you fell too down, you'll call me and I'll bring them for a quick visit. It will be 'visit to mommy's work day' or something like that", he said with a smile.
Sam sniffled and looked at Grace.
"I'll lose all the things that I had with Jake…", she said with a sad voice.
"I know it's not the same thing but I promise to take lots of pictures". Jack really didn't know how to make her feel better.
Sam continued with Grace in her arms like she didn't want to let her go.
"Honey, she needs to be changed", he said after a while.
"Yes, I know", she said without moving.
Jack bit his lip.
"Do you want to do it? I can go take care of Jake", he offered.
She simply nodded. Jack gave her a quick kiss in the forehead and left the room.
"I'm so sorry, baby girl. I don't want to leave you but mommy has to follow orders", she said getting up and going to her nursery.
Grace was looking at her and opening and closing her hands in the air.
"But I love you very much and I'll miss you terribly", Sam continued talking to her daughter as she changed her.
Grace's blue eyes were fixed on her and when Sam held her upright, she started to push down with her feet onto Sam's lap. Sam grabbed her and started to cry, holding her tight.
"I'm sorry, Grace. I'm so sorry", she said through her sobs.
Jack had Jake already ready and had told him to go along to the kitchen when he heard his wife sobbing. He quickly went to the nursery, finding Sam holding Grace and crying. He gently put his arms around his wife holding her.
"It's okay, honey. I've got you", he said kissing her neck.
Sam rested her head in his chest, with Grace safely in her arms.
"I really don't want to go, Jack", she said.
"I know you don't. But you have to", he said gently.
The three of them stayed in the nursery for some time until Sam finally managed to calm down.
"Can you take her? I need to shower…", she said, kissing her blonde hairs.
Jack took her immediately.
"Sure, go get ready. I've got them", he said.
Sam left the nursery without looking back and Jack knew she was already mentally preparing herself to leave her daughter.
"So Grace let's see what your brother is doing!", he said with a big smile.
Grace also smiled, grasping his shirt. Jack carefully went down the stairs and found Jake already eating his cereals. With Grace safely against his shoulder and with one hand supporting her head and neck, Jack used his free hand to start the coffee machine. Sam usually took a cup after breastfeeding and today she surely need one.
After some minutes she appeared in the kitchen already in her dress blues. Her body had hardly recovered from the labor but she still had one uniform that was slightly larger from the time she was pregnant with Jake.
"Coffee?", he asked.
"Yes, please", she said taking a mug. "Hi buddy", she said kissing her son.
Jake shrugged and continued to eat his cereals.
"What do you want to eat, honey?", he asked seeing her sipping the coffee with an absent expression in her eyes. She was avoiding looking at Grace.
"I'm not hungry", she said.
"Sam", he said in a warning tone.
She looked at him finally.
"I don't think I can eat anything right now. I'll eat something at the Mountain. I promise", she said.
Jack wished he could believe her but he knew her too well. Years of forgotten meals because she was too distracted with her work. He could imagine how this day would be.
"Let me make you a toast. At least that", he tried.
"Okay", she simply said looking at Jake and not Grace.
Even though it was not very easy to make a toast with a single hand, Jack managed. It was clear that Grace was staying with him until Sam left the house. He finally put the toast on a plate and gave it to her.
"Thanks", she said starting to put some butter.
"The first day is always the most difficult one", he said trying to cheer her up.
She just sighed. And started to take very small bits of the toast with her fingers. A rat would have eaten more than she was eating.
"Please call me if things start to get too much, Sam. It's your first day", he asked.
"I'll keep that in mind", she said finishing her coffee.
Jack knew perfectly well she wouldn't call. She kissed Jake's head and looked at him like trying to decide what to do.
"It's okay. We'll be fine", he said.
"Right", Sam said looking at him and finally at her daughter, quietly resting against his broad shoulder.
She bit her lip and then took three steps and kissed him in the mouth. Hard. Jack just managed to held her waist with his free hand while he kissed her back. Then she broke the kiss and gave a quick kiss in Grace's back. And she left for the garage.
When Sam parked the Escalade at the parking lot of the Mountain her hands were shaking. She took several deep breaths to calm down and only then, she left. She greeted the security as she entered the facilities and punched the first elevator. She repeated the gestured until she was at Level 27. Her 2IC and the current base's CO while she was absent was in the briefing room waiting for her.
"General Carter", he said standing up.
"At ease, Colonel", she said feeling an upsetting tightening in her stomach.
"Welcome back, Ma'am. I'm sorry it had to be so earlier but they gave me no choice", he said with a real apologetic look.
"I know. So tell me what's happening. Who is attacking our teams?", she asked taking her usual chair.
Harriman closed the lights and turned on the projector.
"This is what we have so far. We believe they are renegades from the Lucien Alliance who decided to go solo. However, they are much more heavily powered in terms of guns and ships and they don't have any problems in killing first and not asking questions at all. We simply don't know what they want", he said showing her the pictures they had so far.
Sam saw several men and women of their SG teams dead and tortured as Harriman continued to pass the photos. All involved in what appeared heavy attacks.
"So they don't take prisoners?", Sam asked when he finally shut down the projector and the horrific images.
"None so far", he said.
"How many have we lost so far?", she asked, dreading to know.
Harriman looked down at his hands. "11"
Sam swallowed.
"And what are they asking us to do? What does the brass want?", she asked.
"Better and deadly weapons. And forming new SG teams", he said. "They already speed up the production of more of your modified F-302s. They have been a great help and one of the reasons why the numbers are not higher. I suspect that's why they called you so soon. They're hoping you invent something that saves from this shit storm", he added.
"What else is new?", she mumbled more to herself but he heard.
"General you saved Earth countless times. Everyone has great faith in you", he said with a proud and a voice also full of hope.
Sam blushed a little.
"Well Colonel I can't deliver miracles", she said trying to set the bar a little lower.
"That's not what I've heard", he said with a smile.
"Well then you obviously have been talking with the wrong people", she said with a hint of a smile.
Harriman lay back on his chair.
"I would think the former SG-1 is a pretty accurate source of information, Ma'am", he said.
Sam looked at her wedding ring.
"They tend to exaggerate things a little…", she said.
"All of them?", asked Harriman with a smile.
Sam blushed again.
"So deadly weapons? How is the science department going on that so far?", she asked curious.
Harriman made a face and she nodded.
"Right. I'll pass by it and see by myself. Anything else?", she asked.
"No, Ma'am. For your first day I think you already have plenty", he said.
"Yeah, thanks a lot", she said getting up.
"And so you know, General. We did miss you", Harriman said arranging his papers.
Sam continued to her office, her heart beating faster than normal. Despite everything she also missed being here.
The day passed in a second and when Sam noticed it was way beyond dinner time. Shit! Her first day and she had returned to her old habits. She told Harriman she was going home and got in the elevator. With everything she had to do during the day she didn't once though about her children. Not even Grace who she had barely managed to let go that very same morning.
"Jesus", she let go as the elevator moved up.
When she reached the top she took her cell and called Jack, telling him she was heading home. He just said to be careful driving. And he hung up.
Sam closed her eyes briefly and after some calming breathings she got inside the Escalade and drove home. She felt exhausted and she missed her children. And Jack. After parking the SUV in the garage, she entered the house. Jack wasn't there to greet her as usual and the kitchen was in the dark. She looked at her watch. 2130. Fuck! The kids went to bed at 1930, tops. Grace usually at 1900. She took her shoes and started to unbutton her jacket. The living room had light and the TV was on. Jack was lying on the couch with her tablet, playing a game.
"Hi", she said from the doorway.
"Hi", he said without moving his head from the screen.
"Okay, Jack. I'm sorry I'm late. I should have been home earlier but I had tons of things to do. So again I'm sorry", she said also not moving.
"Sure, no problem. I've got it covered", he said still playing.
Sam bit her lip. If he wanted her to feel guilty he didn't need to. She already felt. All by herself.
"I'm going take a shower", she said after seeing that he wasn't going to move.
"Okay", he said putting one leg over the other.
Sam left and went upstairs. She went first to Jake's room where he was fast asleep, his bedsheets and blanket thrown away. He was always too hot when he slept so he usually threw the covers after a while. Sam covered him again gently and gave him a kiss. She closed the door again silently. Then taking a deep breath she entered the nursery. Grace should have eaten from the bottle already so there was no need to breastfeed her. Quietly Sam approached her crib and watched her daughter sleeping. She was sleeping on her back with her pacifier. Sam stood there forgetting the time, tears dropping. Just watching her. Eventually she felt two hands around her waist and Jack kissing her neck.
"Come on", he whispered.
She quickly cleaned her eyes and cheeks and left the room. Jack closed the door. Sam was already in their room taking the rest of her dress blues in their walk in closet when he entered.
"Are you okay?" he asked sitting on the bed.
"Fine", she said with her back to him.
Oh the famous 'fine'. Jack sighed.
"So busy day, hum?", he asked seeing her in just her bra and panties.
Her hips had turned wider since she had Grace which Jack found very attractive although she didn't like it. It would go away especially since Sam started to work out as soon as she had enough strength to do it. She had recovered her form completely after Jake was born and Jack had no doubt that she would get in shape also after having Grace. Even tired and all, she was stubborn as hell and she had confessed she hated her belly fat after being pregnant. Well she had always been thin and fit so he could understand that to some point. Be he did love her body when she was more full. Especially her breasts.
"I'm going to shower", she simply said going to the bathroom and closing the door.
Okay so maybe his tantrum had been a little too much. But for crying out loud. It was her first day. She had almost to force herself out of the house in the morning. And then she arrived home at 2130! What the hell?
He decided to wait for her in their bed. There was no point in going to the bathroom. They would probably end up fighting. So he adjusted his pillows and waited. After some long minutes she reentered the room, her skin still red from the hot water. She had a towel around her body and was obviously surprised to see him.
"What are you doing here?", she asked stopping between the bathroom door and the closet.
"Ahh…I sleep here?", Jack said with a smile.
Sam blushed and held the towel more firmly.
"That's not what I meant", she said.
"What did you meant?", he asked looking at her dripping body.
She looked at him for some seconds and shook her head.
"Never mind", she mumbled and went to the closet again.
She took her pajamas and put it without dropping the towel to Jack immense frustration. Already dressed she went back to the bathroom and Jack heard her hair dryer. She finished after some time and returned to the room where he continued laying on their bed.
"So are you hungry?", he asked.
"No, I ate at the Mountain", she lied.
At that precise moment her stomach started growling loudly. Jack just looked at her and smiled.
"So busted", he said.
She blushed beet red.
"I made turkey sandwiches and have potato salad", he offered.
"Fine", she said rolling her eyes.
And the count was in two 'fines'. He got up and opened their bedroom's door waiting for her to leave. Greeting her teeth, she finally did and he followed her behind. In the kitchen, he gave her a plate with sandwiches and the potato salad.
"What do you want to drink?", he asked with the fridge door opened.
"Water, please", she said.
He gave her a water bottle and sat on a chair in front of her, watching her eat. In silence. After a while he couldn't stand it anymore.
"So are we mad at each other. Is that it?", he asked looking at her.
Sam slowly ended chewing her sandwich and looked at her husband.
"Why do you say that?", she asked slowly.
Jack shook his head.
"Don't, Sam! Just…don't! Don't answer my question with another question", he said.
She shrugged her shoulder and drank some water.
"Fine", she finally said.
Jack almost punched their kitchen island.
"Fuck! Please stop saying 'fine'. You know it drives me crazy!", he said trying not to lose his temper.
Sam put her elbows in the table and interlaced her fingers, looking at him.
"I'm not mad at you, Jack. I understand if you're upset with be for being late. I admit that it hurt me a bit your reaction in the living room but I understand it. I was too late today. I'm sorry", she said.
"Why were you late?", Jack asked more calm now.
"We're asked to develop more deadly weapons. Apparently we now have an unknown enemy that is killing our teams off-world. I was working on that and didn't notice the time", she said.
"You are working on it?! You have a bunch of scientists in that base! What are they doing? Sitting on their asses?", he asked frustrated.
Sam put her chin on top of her interlinked fingers.
"Apparently they have been unsuccessful. That's one of the reasons why they called me back so soon. The work I've done with the F-302s has been quite successful", she simply said.
"So you're personally developing the fucking guns?", he asked.
"Yes, Jack, I am", she admitted.
He put his hands behind his neck.
"You can do that from home. You worked on the schematics of the F-302s from home while you're pregnant with Jake. What's different this time?", he asked. There was something she wasn't telling him.
"We're also forming new SG teams", she added slowly.
"What does that mean, Sam?", he asked putting his hands on the countertop.
Sam swallowed.
"Means I'm personally responsible for choosing the new candidates and assign them", she said.
Jack wasn't convinced.
"And?"
Sam closed her eyes.
"Samantha?", he asked again. Using her full name.
"They want me to test the weapon off-world with a team", she said, not looking at him.
Jack jumped from his chair, knocking it down.
"NO FUCKING WAY!", he yelled.
"Jack, please", she asked, looking at him.
He was now pacing in their kitchen.
"You're not going off-world! No way!", he said again.
"I can't disobey orders because you don't like them", she said a little to coldly.
Jack stopped pacing and looked at her.
"Don't tell me you are okay with this stupidity?!", he asked with his mouth opened.
"I'm an officer, Jack. I obey orders from my superior officers. Stupid or not", she said quietly.
Jack put one hand on the countertop, next to her.
"When will this weapon be ready?", he asked.
Sam sighed.
"They want a prototype in two month's top. An operational weapon in five months", she said.
"That's an insane schedule, Sam", he said. She would spend most of her time in the Mountain.
"I know. I asked to work on the schematics of the gun at home but the request was denied. They want me full time at the base", she said looking down.
Jack put one hand in her neck and pull her head next to his chest.
"I can speak with the President…", he offered.
Sam put a hand on his chest.
"NO! No Jack, absolutely not", she said, shaking her head.
"Okay, I won't interfere", he said letting her go.
Sam got up.
"Don't you think it will cost me? To be apart from Grace? This soon? She's just three months, Jack!", she said almost crying. "But I've to do what I'm ordered".
"I know, honey. I know", he said taking her hand and kissing it.
Sam put her arms around his waist and hugged him.
"God, Jack! I don't know how I'll do this…When I was at the Mountain I didn't even have time to think about her but as soon as I was at the parking lot it come down on me like pouring rain. I felt terrible", she said with her eyes full of tears.
Jack held her, one hand in her hair, other in her back.
"We'll figure out some way. We always do", he said kissing her head.
"Please don't get mad with me", she asked, hiding her head in his neck.
"I'm sorry. I was an asshole", he said hugging her tighter.
They stood there for some minutes, until she calmed down. And then they went back to their room. Where she felt asleep in his arms, silent tears still falling in her cheeks.