Thanks for the reviews!
I have a lot of free time so I'll try to update as often as possible, but I'm still trying to figure out the whole story. For now, here's another chapter!
It's kind of a long one but there's a lot happening. Hope you like it.
The next day I went to school and didn't talk to Quinn, she didn't go to our table but I did see her in a classroom just reading by herself. Finn was there though, looking perfectly fine, joking with the guys and I just wanted to punch his face. I let it go and just went about my day.
Cheerio practice came and Quinn just waved at me but no words. Is not like we could talk that much, cheerios practice is really demanding and Coach Sylvester is an asshole.
I was stretching to cool down from practice and that's where she finally approached me. I felt her hand rubbing my back and I got goosebumps all over.
-We're good for lunch, right?
I just stared at her, unable to answer for a few seconds. She just smiled.
-San?
-Yes, of course. Are you going to tell me about Finn?
-Is that all you care about?
-I mean, I do wanna go eat something with you but gossip is a great motivator.
-Is not that fun for me.
-Shit, I know, I'm sorry. So, ready to go?
She just nodded, I said bye to Britt and got out with Quinn, she was staring at Brittany as she was leaving with two other girls.
We went to a small restaurant, she got a salad and I ordered a sandwich with fries, which she took most of them but it was ok. We talked about ambiguous shit but after a while I was done.
-So?
-So?
-What's up with Frankenteen?
-Finn?
-Yes, I need details.
-Well, Finn went to my house and we were just hanging out in his car, and I'm really not usually like this, but his phone kept buzzing, and I felt a little dramatic, then I saw Rachel's name. I pretended to use my phone so Finn would pick up his and when he unlocked it, I grabbed it off his hand and got out of his car.
My face must've really been saying something because Quinn stopped talking and just stared at me.
-I'm being crazy, right?
-I mean, the end justifies the means.
-Well, I went inside my house and raided his phone, he was knocking on my door like crazy. The messages were Rachel saying how in love she was, and that she felt such a "rebel" for meeting him behind my back, and that it will help her with her acting, and more weird shit.
-Dang, I disliked her before, now I feel like punching her. How are you feeling?
-I'm fine, I wasn't surprised, until…
She stopped and I saw her eyes beginning to look watery, I reached across the table to touch her hand, she grabbed mine for a bit and then kept going.
-Well, I know I'm not right but I opened his phone gallery and it was dick pic after dick pic, and not his, I know his. He had all shapes and sizes.
-No fucking way
I was shaking my head in disbelief
-You're shitting me, Quinn.
-I'm not. He really had a lot of dick picks and I figured that he must be getting them from someone so I looked for archived messages and there he was.
-Oh my God? Who?
-Finn was going ape shit outside my house, good thing mom was at work. He was really making a scene.
I was staring at her all shocked. Finn was gay? That may be why I felt something was off with him. I started thinking about me, I'm not sure if I'm bi or a lesbian but I'm definitely into women. Puck and my cousin are the only ones who know. I haven't talked about it with Britt but never hid it from her, it just has never been a conversation.
I put myself in Finn's place and felt kinda bad. But I'm not asking for titty pics or anything like that. Quinn got me off my train of thought and I'm so glad she did, because what was coming next was what I was here for.
-He was meeting with older men mostly, but he was fucking Kurt. Apparently Kurt is fucking in love with him, he was his first.
My eyes were wide open, I kinda figured he would be one of the guys in the pictures but they're step brothers, which technically is not that wrong, but, I'm a judgemental bitch, so it's weird. They live together, their parents are married! They must be fucking daily. This is crazy.
-This is fucking crazy
-Yup
-What else happened?
-Well, I threw his phone on the window so he could have it. He saw that I opened his conversations with Kurt and started crying and begging me to please not tell anyone.
-What are you going to do?
-I've only told you, and I trust you won't tell anyone else. I'm just glad it's over with him.
-You should check yourself, you know?
-Yup. I have an appointment. We should get out of here.
We paid the bill and started walking with no real direction. We found a little park and Quinn proposed to go lay on the grass. We just did and stayed silent for a few minutes. Quinn touched my hand and brought my attention to her.
-You know, you're always asking me questions?
I blushed and nodded
-Does it bother you?
-No, you're like my only friend, I want you to get to know me, but I have lots of questions for you.
-I can try to answer.
-Are you dating Sam?
Sam and I were a little complicated. He was the sweetest guy, definitely good looking, like really he had abs, who has abs in highschool? I dated him because he was polite, smart, a really nice guy, good looking and every other girl was lusting over him. He was more a trophy than a boyfriend. I wanted to take his V card so bad just because. I know, I'm awful. It didn't work out, I couldn't give him all the attention he needed, I love my freedom and he got tired of me. Dated the next girl he could.
I figured if it doesn't work out with Sam, nicest guy ever, it wouldn't work with any guy. And also I still had a bit of a crush on a woman I met in LA. I go there every now and then to spend time with my cousins and my aunt and uncle. My cousin took me to a party and it was nothing like it was in Ohio. Lots of drugs, lots of pretty people, everyone embracing who they are.
I spent the whole night talking to Melissa, who's Melissa? you might ask. Well, Melissa is just the hottest woman I've met. Really, people in LA are just prettier, call me shallow but I do care about looks, and people in Ohio just don't cut it. Of course Quinn is an exception, she's just beautiful, but I KNOW I'm the best looking girl around.
Back to Melissa, I was 17, she was 23. I know, it's weird, but hear me out. She was with me the whole party, both of us only had one drink and talked the whole night, we weren't drunk or high, we were just having a good time. One thing led to another and we went to her VERY small apartment, and explored each other's bodies all night.
I've had sex before but never with a lady. It was the best experience in my whole life, like literally my life changed. If I had any doubts about liking women, she just cleared them. We went for hours, and then I was back in Ohio.
Dating Sam was just me trying to get over that woman, and I eventually did but not thanks to Sam. We broke up but I kept seeing him every time I needed sex.
-So you've done your homework, Fabray? No we're not dating, we were for a bit but not anymore.
-Are you dating Britt?
I chuckled
-You think I'm gay?
-I know you are
My heart was beating like crazy, I got super nervous, I never really talked about it with anyone other than Puck and my cousin, and with Puck it was more about rating girls then talking about my sexuality. I know, again, I'm shallow.
-How so?
-I'm bi, I have a gaydar.
I panicked, not many people knew about me, and also, Quinn? Bi? So like, do I have a shot? Has she been flirting with me all the time? All those little touches and hand holding started to change meaning. I really got nervous so I don't even know what came out of my mouth next.
-Lol, you're full of shit.
-Why?
-You're so fucking straight it hurts.
Quinn just smiled and shrugged her shoulders, staring at me with those green eyes of hers.
-Are you going to tell me my own sexuality?
She layed on her side, leaning onto her shoulder and I was just laying on my back, I felt her staring and got so nervous, I felt like a silly little girl. I did my best to look back at her without looking like a fool so I supported myself on my elbows.
-I know girls like you, just flirting with girls for attention.
She dared to put her freaking hand on my belly and slid it softly, then she talked in this low husky voice, she was driving me insane.
-Santana, you can't tell me who I like, or who I flirt with. I find guys attractive, I find girls attractive, people are attractive.
-Is that why you talk to me?
She went back to laying on her back and just stared at the sky.
-No. I actually hate physical touch, it just comes natural with you. Like when we first talked, I felt I could just sit next to you, and just be physically close. I mean, I like it.
-Like, friendly close?
-Friendly close.
-Aight.
We just stayed silent for a bit, I felt my heart breaking for a bit, but was I expecting her to say she was in love with me or something? Silly me.
-So, you and Brittany?
-Just friends.
-Come on, you're too close, I had a "friend" like that in my last school, we were "just friends" but dramatically stopped talking.
-I'm for real, she's the best, but just friends.
-Do you wish it was more?
-Nah, she's really the coolest person ever, but there's no attraction in that way.
-Not even like a drunken kiss?
-No, first of all, she doesn't drink, she just goes to the parties, she's like a really good person, you should try and talk to her. And we're just friends
-I suck at making friends, talking to people, just, not my thing.
-Do you know you're super popular?
-I don't know why, I only talk to you.
-You're weird
-I know.
We kept talking about our experiences with other girls, and just vain things. It got dark so we decided to leave, as we were walking to the bus stop she linked our arms again.
-Does this bother you now, Santana?
-No way
I smiled and we sat at the bus stop.
-I'm so glad you opened up to me, San. Does anybody else know?
-Just Puck. And you?
-I don't know, but I really don't care.
Our buses came and we took off. I got home feeling stupid. I was blushing at the thought that maybe we could date. I mean, she's single now, and likes women, and I'm hot, so, no way she won't like me, right? I could come out for her, we would be like the hottest couple ever. Blonde and brunette? That's the way it should be.
A few days passed and everyone started noticing how Finn was seated on one side of the table and Quinn was always next to me. We basically only talked to each other and acknowledged the other kids every now and then. The guys started teasing Finn.
-Dude, you know you won't find a prettier girl, right?
Mike said
-Oh he already found one, not prettier though
Everyone's attention was on Quinn now, the place went silent and I avoided seeing her.
-Did he cheat?
Said one of the cheerios who's name I can't remember
-With Rachel Berry
Quinn said nonchalant
-That's a downgrade bro
I said holding a laugh and everyone agreed
-Is not like that
-That's embarrassing
Mike said. Puck didn't comment on it, felt weird cause he has punch lines for everything, but he's a known cheater and Finn's best friend so maybe he was being sympathetic.
Some days passed and I was talking with Britt on the table when Quinn came, she saw Britt and went to sit somewhere else, it felt weird. I also had a lunch date with Britt after practice so I didn't really hang out with Quinn.
The next day I saw her talking to Finn and hanging out before practice. I was so fucking mad, like, is she going back together with him? Why are they hanging out? Doesn't she remember what happened?
So we didn't talk much those days, just a few texts. I was high in my house just listening to Frank Ocean when I got her text.
Q: What are you doing?
S: Nothing, just chillin.
Q: Cool
Q: Are you high?
S: How do you know?
Q: You're always high this time of day.
S: lol you're right
S: Have you smoke?
Q: Never
S: Try it
Q: I'm good
S: So, what's up blondie? Are you coming back together with potato face?
Q: Finn? No
S: So what's up with all those after school talks?
Q: He's confused about his sexuality
S: Got it.
S: Please don't get back with him
Q: I won't, I'm on tinder now
My heart was racing, why? I didn't wanna see her dating, no. I know we're not a thing but I got so jealous.
S: Good for you
Q: Yup, have a date tomorrow
S: A little too soon?
Q: Not really. I hope it goes well, I haven't have sex in a while
I volunteer as tribute maam!
S: You're really hooking up with some tinder guy?
Q: After a few dates, I might
S: I didn't take you as a sexually active person to be honest
Q: Oh I love sex. But I can't do it if I don't trust the person so it may take a while
Do you trust me?!
S: I'm shocked
Q: How do you do it?
S: Honestly, Sam is my go to
Q: Still?
S: Yeah
Q: He seems vanilla. I didn't take you as a vanilla girl.
S: I know I'm hot and people asume that I'm into some kinky shit and fuck a lot, but I really don't. I like it normal.
Q: Sounds boring
S: I'm surprised Fabray. How do you like it?
Q: I'm more into submission and dirty talk and all that
S: For real? Like do you like being called a cunt and all that?
Q: More like a worthless little butch
S: Fuck that, no wonder you're depressed
I was tripping. She didn't seem like that. She looks so normal. I'm really not into that, I get dirty talking but like, I don't take it too far.
Q: I know, I'm fucked up, don't judge me
S: I won't
The whole day I was thinking of this girl. I went to bed and the thought of her being degrades by some men while he fucked her made me furious. Like, I would worship her. I see her and I just wanna cuddle her, play with her hair, smell her perfume. Give her snacks. But she's into weird shit. So, was Finn like that too? Ugh gross, I pictured it. I hate my mind.
Next day I saw her. I felt a little awkward seeing her, but we hung out before practice and started talking.
-So, you're a freak?
-I think you're a little judgmental, San?
-I am
-So, what do you like?
-Well, I like tender kisses
-I'm not a fan
-What? Kissing is the best part
-You do have kissable lips, but I don't know, it seems too intimate.
-I can tell you have an issue with that
-I guess. So, just kisses? What do you like in a person
She looked at me, batting her eyes, being all cute. I was lost.
-Well, Imma be honest, I'm a sucker for green eyes
I said trying to look away
-I can tell, anything else?
-I like round butts, soft skin, soft hair, soft lips, nice teeth, nice smell, soft hands, athletic body
-How bout, personality wise?
-Uhm whatever, just no nerds. You know, people that are into comic books, and that anime shit.
-You're very shallow
-Very
-I like some comics, superhero movies, and some anime…
-Ugh, big time nerd. But you're pretty, how is it possible?
-People are more than their looks, you know?
-If you say so
-Why don't you have a girlfriend?
-No one's worthy
-Judgmental, shallow and cocky. What a catch.
-I just keep it real
-I wonder why you're single
-Asshole
-So, I'm meeting this guy tomorrow
Quinn got her phone out to show me the biggest nerd, I was disgusted.
-You're too pretty for him
-I think he's cool. You know? He actually likes the same comics as me, same books, I think we're a good match.
-You really need some self esteem, Fabray
-I Know
She sighed.
Brittany was getting really close to this glee girl, Mercedes. I got to know her more thanks to Britt and she was really cool, not like the others, and Finn was hanging out with us less each time. I guess he got all the hints that we didn't like him that much. He was sitting with the other glee kids.
I kinda liked being on Glee but I couldn't stand them, they were just weird and everyone thought they were better than the other. The harsh reality that no one will accept is Rachel is too annoying to ever be famous. She would never build such a network. Kurt, he's just gay, California is full of guys like him, he's not special. Tina, I don't think I've ever heard her talk. Artie was just a creep. Always staring at my boobs, everyone's boobs actually, I once caught him doing a drawing of Quinn naked.
Mercedes was not like them, she was cool. I'm half Puerto rican, half black so we had a lot in common and I'm glad Britt and her good friends. It might seem like I was leaving Britt behind to hang out with Quinn but we've never been like that. I can count on her with my life but we are not tied to the hip, and that's okay.
One day hanging out in the bleachers, everyone noticed how Quinn was chatting with Rachel so as soon as she came to meet us we jumped her.
-Girl, tell me you're not friends with her, she got your man
Mercedes said.
-She's not bad, I guess, whoever keeps him, loses so.
-Are you friends with her now?
-We kind of are, yeah.
-God, she's just so ugly
I said and the rest of the group agreed and laughed it off.
I decided to miss 3rd period and Quinn came with me. She wasn't like this, but she did anyway. I had Puck's car keys so we just chilled in her car.
-What is it with you and "ugly" people?
Quinn asked, air quoting the word ugly.
-I don't know, I get kind of uncomfortable around them. Like, if you have a big ass nose, what am I supposed to look at when talking to you? I could not focus on anything else. We had this teacher with a lazy eye. I almost failed her class cause I was just so uncomfortable and missed a lot of her classes.
-You wouldn't talk to me a few years ago.
-Why?
I said laughing softly and Quinn showed me a picture, it was obviously her but so different. She was heavier, had braces, acne and her nose was different. I just sighed and gave her the phone back.
-You still had those beautiful eyes of yours so, probably talk to you?
-Really? Chubby? Oily face? Braces and all?
-Yeah
She hit my arm playfully, smiling a bit.
-You're full of shit
-I admit I'm shallow but you're cool, a bit of a nerd but cool. And you're pretty, like super pretty. Even if you didn't see it back then.
-I hated myself. I guess I'm not over it yet and that's where my self esteem issues come from.
-Might be
We were just sitting in the back seats of Puck's car and she just leaned on my shoulder and sighed. I, against my own will, started to play with her hair, and she just leaned on me more. It felt….nice
-What are you doing after school, San?
-Nothing, really
-Wanna eat free sushi?
-Always, who's paying?
-Mike… and Finn
-Why are you hanging out with Finn?
-Because I wanna get us free sushi… say yes
-Ugh, I AM craving sushi
-So?
Quinn said, batting her eyes in that flirty way as usual. I wasn't crazy right? She was always super flirty.
-Sure
I rolled my eyes and she just smiled and we went to class.
Before practice I was walking with Britt and all of the sudden she asked.
-Are you and Quinn like a thing?
I smiled and blushed a little, and hated every second of it.
-Not really, Britt
-But, you guys do have chemistry, right?
-I guess that's true
-You'd make a cute couple
I just let it go, didn't really wanna start making stories in my head.
Practice was over, Finn and Mike were already waiting for us, we got into Mike's car and headed for sushi.
-Is this like a double date?
Finn said, looking back at us with a stupid smile.
-Unless your date is Mike, yes.
Quinn said and Finn just rolled his eyes. We got there and Mike tried to sit next to me but Quinn told him it was actually her spot. We ordered, we ate and everything went smooth, we were mostly giving Finn a hard time about Rachel, Quinn seemes cool with him, until she did this weird shit.
She ordered a salmon roll, with the salmon outside the roll. She looked at me when the guys went to the bathroom and had two fingers just caressing her piece of salmon. It was very sexual and weird, but kind of a turn on.
-I love salmon
She said
-Is just too pink and soft.
-What are you doing Quinn?
-Don't you like salmon
-I'm more of a tuna girl…
It felt weird, how she was looking at me, I didn't know how to feel, luckily the guys came back.
We finished our food and I went to the bathroom followed by Quinn. After I washed my hands, I was chewing a piece of gum Mike gave me. Quinn got out of the bathroom, washed her hands and saw me through the mirror while I fixed my hair. Suddenly I felt her hands around my waist and her breath on my neck. I felt chills all over, the sense of her hand, the warm of her breath and the memory of her playing with her fucking sushi.
-We would make a really cute couple
Quinn said while looking at us in the mirror
-You think?
I said like a dumb 12 year old, all giggly.
-We should kiss
Quinn really said that, my heart skipped a beat, I didn't know if I should laugh it off, or lean over to kiss her, I panicked, but I felt her hand on my cheek and when our lips got close she fucking stopped.
-You're chewing gum. I can't, I hate gum.
-Are you for real, Quinn?
-Sorry
I threw my fucking gum and walked out of there. She followed me and linked arms, she said in a low voice.
-I thought you were going to kiss me after you threw away the gum.
-Stop fucking playing dude.
-I wasn't playing Santana, I hate gum
She rolled her eyes and went back to her seat.
The place felt tense, I was so ready to leave them, the guys paid the bill and I ubered home.
This girl had me in a fucking chokehold. What game is she playing? Is she getting back together with her gay ex? Is she fucking around on tinder? Does she like teasing me?
Questions that kept me up all night.