Why, Jason?

Jason Bolt, age 17, was the last of the Bolt family to be awake tonight. His father and his two younger brothers were in bed asleep.

Or so he thought.

"J-j-Jason"?

Jason looked up from the book he was reading. Six year old Jeremy was standing in the doorway between the bedroom and the front room.

"Jeremy, what are you doing up? It's very late. You have school tomorrow." Jason asked

"Wanna talk." Jeremy said.

"Now? Can't it wait until tomorrow"? He asked.

"No, it's 'portant." Jeremy answered.

"Ok, since it's important. Come on." Jason closed his book and put it down.

Jeremy ran to Jason. He climbed into his brother's lap. Jeremy stood up in Jason's lap and hugged him. Jason wrapped his arms around his baby brother enjoying the spontaneous display of affection. Jeremy was warm and cuddly and soft. Jeremy laid his head on Jason's shoulder.

He whispered in Jason's ear, "I love you, Jason".

Jason gave his precious brother a little extra squeeze. Jason whispered, "I love you, Jeremy."

Jeremy turned around and sat down on Jason's lap. Jeremy sighed.

"What do you want to talk about, Jeremy"? asked the oldest brother.

"Bout me." Jeremy told him.

"Alright, what about you"? Jason inquired.

"Why do I s-s-s-stutter? Why, J-J-J-Jason"? Jeremy was looking Jason in the eye.

Jason was shocked. Of all the questions Jeremy had ever asked, Jason had never expected him to ask that one.

"Well, Jeremy, you started stuttering after Mom died." Jason answered.

"Why, Jason? Mom was your mom and Josh's mom. You and Josh don't s-s-s-stutter." Jeremy questioned.

"That's true. Things that hurt very bad affect different people in different ways." Jason told him.

Don't unnerstand." Jeremy said.

"No, I didn't think you would." Jason wasn't sure if he could explain this to his six year old sibling.

"It's like sometimes when you fall down, you don't get hurt at all. Other times when you fall, you scrape your knee. Still another time, you could cut your knee. And if you got hurt very bad, you could break your leg." Jason tried to explain.

"It's sort of like that with emotional injuries too. Emotional means feelings. Like how our feelings get hurt when someone says something unkind to us. When something very sad like Mom dying happens, it can injure a person in different ways. Sometimes by making a person stutter." Jason hoped he was making some sense to Jeremy.

Jeremy was thinking. Jason could tell by the serious expression on his face. Jason waited.

After a few minutes, Jeremy said, "So, it's like when Mom died, my feelings got hurt so bad that it made me not talk right."

"Something like that." Jason said. Jeremy had a good understanding for a child his age. Jason thought.

Then another question.

"Jason, why does something that comes from hurt, hurt too"? asked Jeremy.

"What do you mean, Jeremy"? inquired Jason.

"I stutter because Mom dying hurt me so much. Well, stuttering hurts too. It makes it hurt to talk. Some people laugh at me because I s-s-s-stutter. That makes me c-c-c-cry." He answered.

Jason felt like crying. His sweet baby brother had endured more than his share of pain in his short life. Now he was trying to understand the reason for it at age six.

"Well, Jeremy. I guess things that cause pain can't cause anything that doesn't hurt. Does that make sense to you"? Jason hoped he was explaining this right.

"Yeah." Jeremy replied snuggling up to Jason. Jeremy put his head on Jason's chest. "If something is just a lot of hurt, it hasn't got anything but hurt to make other stuff."

Jason thought for a moment. That made sense. If all there is is hurt, how could there be anything else? The kid was pretty smart for six.

Jason rested his chin on top of Jeremy's head. Jeremy's breathing was beginning to be deep and even. He was going to sleep.

"Jeremy, I'm sorry that you have so much pain in your life." Jason told him quietly. "You know that Dad, Josh, and I love you so very much." He said.

"It's okay, Jason. I love you and Dad and Josh too. I just thought of something.

Since I have more hurt than some people do, you and Josh and Dad love me more to try to make up for some of the hurt. The hurt hurts me bad. But the love loves some of the hurt out. So I win."

Jason smiled. Jeremy sighed as he went to sleep.

"Yes, Jeremy, you win. And so do we." Jason gave his youngest brother a little kiss on the top of his head.

Jason sat holding his sleeping baby brother in his arms watching the fire in the fireplace burn out. Soon, all the Bolts in the house were asleep.

The End