4th year

I am having family dinner in Malfoy Manor like every evening.

"The dark lord has returned and he is meeting us for dinner tomorrow." My father states.

All I do is sigh. I don't want to have dinner with that noseless pale Voldemort. He gives me the creeps. The last thing I want is him to come over to our house. He haunts my nightmares.

My mother tells me. "Lucius, it's going to be okay."

My father suddenly becomes infuriated. "You don't want the dark lord here?!" He is full of anger now, banging his hand on the table.

I jump, unable to look him in the eye. "He scares me."

"How dare you?!" He yells. I try to contain my composure. This happens on the daily after all. "You should be grateful that the Dark Lord chooses our home. Besides, we are discussing a assignment for you." I gulp. Oh no.

"Fine! Go to your room!" I nod but still stay in my chair. "Now!" He screams. I jump once again, this time out of my chair as quick as possible.

I run up our wide staircase and into my bedroom, slamming the door behind me. I felt uneasy, no horrified.

I don't want this. I don't want to be a death eater. I don't want to be around that creepy guy. He makes me terrified. I don't want to be his follower or to hurt people. I just want to live in the riches of being a Malfoy and forget about that crazy dark lord and the war. I tell myself. Like always, I put on on a masked face and go on with my day.

~

Voldemort comes barging in our home. My mother greets him but I can tell she feels just as nervous as me. My father smiles wickedly at the ugly man. "Greetings, my lord. Our elves already have set up the dinner and plates." He tells him, escorting him onward.

They discuss how the war was going and their next steps. "I think it's time for your son to play a role in this war." Those words feel like a thousand knives plunging into me. I can't escape this, no matter how hard I want to. I might as well accept it.

~

The next day, it is time to go back to Hogwarts. I get on the train like normal, finding my two friends. One being Snape and the other Narcissa. I plop down in my seat next to Narcissa.

I would talk a lot around them. They were both the kind of friends who loves to listen and not talk as much. When they did say something though it was always memorable.

I leaned into Narcissa without hesitation as she leaned her head against my shoulder. Severus didn't bother to question us, only to look toward our direction. "You still friends with that muggle born, Snape?" I ask.

"Honestly I don't know why I still hang out with you two." He spits out in a harsh tone.

"You enjoy our company, half blood." Narcissa says the words in a joking but playful way which makes Lucius laugh. Snape just rolls his eyes.

We go back to being silent on the way there. I am deep in my thoughts about the wizarding war and my father. Severus is asleep across from me and Narcissa. "Lucius, is something bothering you?"

The question shocks me. I guess she notices how quiet I am the past hour which is unlike me. "My parents invited You-Know-Who in our house yesterday."

She leans up from my shoulder, looking into my eyes. "Voldemort? What was he like?"

"Scary. Very scary."

"I bet he was. What happened?"

"He spoke a lot about the war and how he was grateful for my father for killing mudbloods." I sigh. "They want me to fight in the war."

"Are you?" She's running her fingers through her long blonde hair.

"I don't think I have much of a choice."

~

My friends and I are at the long dinner table eating lunch. It is our first day back.

"Severus, you going to make your move on the girl this year?" I ask.

"Probably not. If James wasn't around then I would but he is."

"Shut up about James and kill that bastard!" I am serious and I could tell Snape knows I am serious too.

Snape tells him. "Lily would never forgive me."

What a coward! Then I realize, I'm a coward just like him.