May 15-16th 1997
It had been one of the hardest weeks of Severus's life. He'd been pushed to his limits, completely exhausted, and emotionally drained. Sirius and Molly hadn't left their quarters since Harry's condition had taken a turn for the worse only three days ago and according to Alton and Healer Walker they should be prepared for it to happen any time. Naturally, that meant Severus was sleeping as little as possible, just so he could spend as much time with his son as possible. He'd have plenty of time to sleep after; what else would he have?
In the five weeks since Harry's terminal diagnosis, they'd gone through all the necessary arrangements, something that distressed the professor greatly, but somehow calmed Harry's nerves over it all. It helped the young wizard come to accept what was going to happen to him. Severus, though, wanted to protest; not the decisions - whatever Harry wanted was fine by him - but the fact that he had to think about it at all. No amount of preparation was going to make the funeral arrangements any easier once Harry was gone.
They'd done all they could to keep Harry comfortable, no longer needing to worry about the addictive qualities of the strong muggle or wizarding medications, and each day Severus could tell it was getting closer. Each day Harry was awake and lucid less and less. Originally, they were supposed to go to Spinner's End, except Harry was adamant he stay going to classes as long as he could and when that was no longer possible, he wanted to be close to his friends, and then finally it was decided he'd be more comfortable in the castle. No matter what home they'd built together, Hogwarts had always been Harry's first real home and this was where he should be when it was over.
The exhaustion was evident in everyone who stepped into their quarters, however on the morning of the 15th Severus knew it would be the end. Harry was too tired of holding on and the professor knew it was time to let his son go. He'd get to see Lily and James again, he'd be in no more pain, and he'd have no more expectations on him, what more could a father want for his dying son? It would be selfish to keep Harry here through the pain only to prevent his own pain; he needed to let go.
Since it was a Thursday and they had no idea how long Harry would still be here, Albus had excused Harry's friends from classes and they came in and out of their quarters throughout the day. At first it angered Severus, for reasons he wasn't even aware of, but Molly did her best to help temper his anger and it ended up being a good distraction. The last thing he needed - even if he didn't know it at the time - was to be sitting idle and waiting. He cried and he didn't care who saw him. At this point Minerva, Albus, and, much to his own embarrassment, Molly and Sirius, had seen that happen plenty of times in the past couple of weeks; when they thought it was time, but then Harry kept holding on.
By the time the sun had gone down, his quarters were quiet again with only himself, Molly, Sirius, Ron, and Hermione present. Dinner had been brought to them by a set of house elves and it remained untouched by any of them on the table in the sitting room while they all sat around Harry's bedroom. Roast beef; that was the meal served in the Great Hall that night and to the mourning occupants in the dungeon quarters the evening before Harry died, and Severus was sure he'd never be able to eat that again without thinking of his son.
By curfew, much to their chagrin, Ron and Hermione were forced to leave. It was heartbreaking to watch Harry's two best friends say goodbye to him knowing that he probably wouldn't be here when they returned in the morning. Molly did her best to comfort them because there was nothing Severus could say. Even before all of this, he wouldn't know what to say to someone in their position. It wasn't ok, no matter what others told him. They wouldn't be ok. Eventually, they would all have to try to move on, but Severus knew he wouldn't. He didn't know what he would do without Harry here.
When there were only the three adults left for the night to be with the young wizard, they stayed up and waited. Molly brought coffee as often as needed. They barely talked - Molly only to see if there was anything she could do - they just listened to Harry's strained breathing and the small clock on the bedside table ticking away the seconds… one o'clock in the morning… two o'clock in the morning… three o'clock in the morning - when Sirius and Molly left for the sitting room to give Severus time alone with his son - until half past three o'clock in the morning when the raspy breathing was no longer heard. He sat there, completely unable to move or think about anything besides how his world had come crashing down.
He needed to go and let Molly and Sirius know that it was over, Harry was in a better place - wherever they thought that was - and most importantly, he wouldn't be in pain any longer. That walk to the sitting room was one of the longest in his life. Having taken the walk so many times over the last two weeks, he could do it with his eyes closed and he practically did because he had zero recollection of it. No words were exchanged - they didn't need to be to know what had happened - Severus simply gave a very small nod.
Then on his way into the room, fully planning on sinking into his favorite armchair, he caught sight of the adoption certificate on the fireplace mantle and his heart lurched. Taking a detour to the fireplace he took a moment to look at all of the pictures highlighting some of their best memories over the years, allowing his grief to fill him up about the ones he'd now miss: Harry's acceptance into the auror program, his wedding, and if he decided to have children, the birth of his kids. Without thinking, he picked up the clock on the mantle and threw it against the wall to his left, under the enchanted window depicting the black lake under the night sky, and then he fell to the floor in tears.