"Parody, gods, I can't live without parody…" "Shut up Voldy!" "DRAMA! Noow, gimme drama! Come on Snapy, snapey, snape! Snappy Snape! Ooh, what a name! Let's goooo!" Severus Snape facepalmed. "Go what?" No more alcohol for him, never ever. Voldemort, evil lord of the…er, death eaters, sang back in response, waving his bony wand like directing a concert, swirling too much to really hit anything, "Follow thee, Snappy Snape, and Lucy Lucius, or I shall-ooh, protest! Perfect timing, Lucy!" "I'm not Snappy whatever." For Lucius Malfoy and balked in horror at the nickname 'Lucy' and accidentally blew Voldemort's nose off in a dangerous mix of surprise and rage. "DON'T CALL ME LUCY!" Voldemort giggled like a schoolgirl and told him in a dopey, teacher-like way, "Now, now, Lucy! What did I say about all caps? Lowers your evil rate by, erm, a big very big much very big lot!" Snape stared at him quizzically. "Uh…Milord, what on earth does 'big very big much very big lot' even mean!" Voldy attempted to wrinkle his nose, sending a trickle of blood down his face. His hand waved airily, sending firecrackers from his wand as he did so. "Grammar, Snappy, Grammar! Speak with grammar! Don't let me hear that phrase! And Hey-wait, where's my nose." "I'm not Snappy!" Someone squeaked softly, "Lucius blew it off, sir!" Voldemort frowned and giggled at the same time, looking absolutely ridiculous. "Oh. That's bad…right? Naughty Lucy! I shall kill you! Crucio!" Lucius crumbled with wracks of fire-like pain, but was released fairly quickly. "Now…for the kill!" Voldemort is obviously too dizzy to think properly, "Erm…What was the spell, Snappy?" "I'm not Snappy, and Avada Kedavra, sir." "Ah, of course. Avadeca…no wait, that isn't right…Ave…no-" "Avada-" "No need, Snappy! I've got it!" Voldemort laughed triumphantly, and Snape dared to be hopeful for a second. Bad choice. Voldy waved his wand sloppily at Lucius, yelling, "Avocado Kedavra!" Lucius' head turned into a gigantic avocado fruit. And that was about the time Snape decided to join Dumbledore.-

Voldemort rubbed his pale chin, as he often did now. "Snappy!" "I. Am. Not. Snappy." "Yes you are, don't be silly. Anyway, I have developed a plan." Snape looked up, startled. "Ah, got your attention, huh? Anyway—here it is:" The Dark Lord—or, as he insisted they call him, the Drama Lord, paused for effect. "We're going to…kill James Potter!" Silence. Snape tried for a smile. "That's so very nice, Milord. How?" Lucius grinned. "What else! Avada Kedavra!" Voldemort glared at him. "WHAT?!" He looked up in confusement. "Wha-what, Your Darkness?" "Do not mispronounce the divine spell of AVOCADO KEDAVRA! And no. We're going to…hey, I almost forgot!" He flipped out a grand, hard-cover book with a dozen bookmarks. In golden flourished letters, it wrote: How to Be a Most Dramatic, Crazy, and Sardonic Villain (How to be a Most Dramatic, Crazy, and Sardonic Villain) He thumbed through it in quite an earnest manner. "Ah! Page 536, Rule 324: Let your minion villains that are lesser than you guess at your great plan, before giving the unexpected. See Explanations 35 To see how to make unexpected plans. Now—guess! Hint at my absolutely wonderful fiendish plan!" Snape looked at him incredulously. "Wha…al…wh-Oh, I give up. You are impossible." Lucius glared at Severus. "You Darkness, is it…torture him to death?" "Nooo, too boring, Lucy." Voldemort shook his head slowly and grinning slower, having quite a sardonic air until he grinned and flipped open his book. "Good, isn't it? Rule 453: When correcting someone, shake your head slowly, fulling, while grinning as slow as possible, speaking with a shivery, delighted tone." Snape groaned loudly. "Quit quoting that stupid book of yours! Just…Just tell us." Voldemort grinned at him. "Gladly, Snappy. Simple…We annoy Potter to death!" "I. AM. NOT. SNA-Wait. What?!"

The next day, when asking for information of his spy, Albus Dumbledore got a deadpan answer. "It's official; Voldemort is absolutely nuts." `