The meat was chewy, but the flavor tasted blander than usual. She thought, ruminating on the events of earlier. She could envision it now: her report card, with a grade deteriorating worse than the last, for one of the easiest subjects at school. There were many chances in the future, after all, the semester had just begun, to start from scratch. To catch up on this failed attempt of a project. Regardless, it was a performance task- a score that'd gobble 70% of their grade. She could ace all the tests Mr. Fernandez will offer, but none of that would fix the damage. It could minimize it and raise her grades a little more, but it can't repaint the tainted number in his class record.
He was only half of the problem. Shortly after that failing grade haunted her, the day was spent on pondering when the evening would come. When she could finally get home, and distract herself further from what was the truth of the matter. Music class prior was a memory that felt foggy in her mind, yet the sensation of her stomach churning. Yet even now, the mere prospect of having a zero under her name, made Luan's stomach drop every time. Like a portal reopened to relive the sensation of getting all your hard work tossed in the trash all over.
The dining room roared with ten voices tugging to get the stage. Unlike other days, she let the rest of her siblings hog the table's attention; keeping her mouth shut in order to make room for the voices on her head. Coming home as half the person you originally were never gets easier. Vanzilla was okay, because being low-key in a crowded van where everyone's talking actually makes you a hero. So as long as nobody asked her why she was being less "Luan-like" as usual. Even better when Luna didn't come up to their bedroom, leaving her with the space she so badly needed to… well, try not to remember everything that happened prior by doing possibly everything she could to block it out and keep her head high.
But dinner? When mom and dad are sitting diagonally across you? When did eating become so constraining?
She forked the meatball on her plate. Her appetite was reeving. This is the one time of the day she will always look forward to, regardless if a myriad of debris fell on her head. Luan wouldn't call herself a foodie, but dad's cuisines were truly, a delight to the tongue- as Chef Grazer commented in his show. Dad had a power to heal people with how good his cooking is.
There was a downside to all this, however; when you've got nine other siblings on the dining table with you, plus parents who are utterly clueless as to what's going on around your outside life, family meals are always expected to bring out the best out of you. One out-of-character gesture, and everyone's gonna be hurdling up on you, wondering who the bully is.
" That's my chicken leg!"
Luan clenched the table cloth. To make things worse, was the haunting urge do nothing more than to stuff your face with spaghetti and meatballs, only to have a WWE match commencing besides her.
"Come get it, then!"
Luan nudged Lana's side with a grunt. Taken out of surprise, Lana lost grip of the chicken and Lynn snatched it away, letting out a snooty laugh as she did so.
Lana shot daggers at her. "Geez, Luan, why are you such a mood lately?"
She shrugged, grumbling to herself as she took a bite of the meatball. Contrasting her lousy disposition, is a family table so rambunctious and full of life. Besides her on the right, were the two most abrasive tomboys having a wrestling match. On the left was a bit steadier waters, with Lincoln and Lucy talking about zombies in video games.
"Green isn't an icon in the fashion world, you would know that!"
"Are you saying that I look tacky!?"
And across her were Leni and Lola having a roast battle.
They loved to live up to their name; being flamboyant in everything they do. The chaos was normally something she thrived on. It could be the bad day leading up to this, but the Loud family shenanigans were growing thin on her. Each passing minute grew until her blood was bubbling. Luan had to stop herself from tugging down the table cloth entirely so many times. The voices of her siblings, their piercing laughter, accompanied by her own raging thoughts- it's all too much. Some days just called for a spa day, or a late-night walk in the park. Luan didn't wanna be the mood-spoiler guy, but the crowd that surrounded her didn't soothe her body at all.
"So, kids, how'd you like the results from our parent-teacher conference last Saturday?" Mom chimed in.
Luan's fought every muscle in her throat to not say a word. She swallowed the urge to bow her head and sink under the table. Of course, this was gonna be talked about in the table at least once.
She drowned out the urge, and continued to eat on as if it didn't make her feel smaller than what this week had deduced her into. Remind her to ask them where hers was.
"Say it isn't so, but my teacher actually called me excellent at crafts." Lisa squealed childishly. "I still find it somewhat difficult to comprehend. That summer workshop I was sent to is given all the credit."
"It said I was improving.", Leni said, quizzically. "I don't know what the card meant by that really, but it's a positive adjective so I guess I'm happy about that!"
"They called me the Campus Journalist of the year!", Lincoln's eyes glimmered with pride. "I've never been so flattered before!"
"Eh, I wasn't that shocked with mine.", Lynn scoffed with a conceited smirk, leaning her arm against the backrest. "What's new? Recordholder for being the All-Star MVP, most Outstanding Hall Monitor, Queen of Chess… I can go on but it might take me an entire month to do it."
"Speaking of queens, how's our resident queen of pun?", The table grew quiet as dad spoke up. All eyes glanced at her. Luan sunk herself down the seat. Oh no. "Haven't heard a dad joke from you in a while, sweetie."
She swallowed. This is exactly what she feared would happen.
Her siblings started mumbling amongst one another, yet mom and dad kept their stare at her- most likely expecting a crude quip from her. That's all they expect from her. Jokes. Just surface-level jokes; anything beyond the scope of comedy was out of Luan's reach apparently. "How about you make the joke?" Luan sheepishly grinned. "You're the dad after all."
He laughed lightly. "Good one, honey." Dad made a pop noise with his mouth. "But my jokes can never get up to your level."
Luan smiled, but that was no surprise. She already knew that.
"Please, Lynn and Luan? As queens?" Lola stuck her tongue out in disgust. "You forgot about the true royal here."
"Yeah! Lincoln!" Lana countered. "The duke!"
The whole table shared a laugh, including Luan- the fond memory meaning well. Lincoln smugly raised his chin as he swayed his hair to the side charmingly, his cowlick bobbing out of resistance. Everyone squealed and bursted into a conversation louder than before.
That charm didn't have a mighty swoon effect on him, instead, it just made Lincoln cuter. With her mind being utterly blank, Luan continued to chew on her plate in peace. It felt good to be out of the spotlight for a while.
Having to go through dinner was made only more dreadful when the prospect of doing the chores slowly approached her like a speeding train. Throughout dinner, she forced herself to keep a light appearance; a straight back, and a slight smile on her face- especially when Lincoln's eyes, were caught meeting hers every time she turned to his direction. As if reading her soul, trying to decipher her every movement. A hint of worry was written over his face, but all it took to make his face lit up a little was to shot him a beam and a thumb up.
"Alright, kids, I have an announcement to make." Dad got up from his seat. "So, as you've seen hung on the fridge, some of you have reached the honor roll!"
Everyone cheered and so did she- for the sake of just letting her voice out. No biggie.
Mom cleared her throat. "So, all of us are gonna be going to Lisa, Lincoln, and Luan's recognition on Saturday!"
Luan was suddenly the spotlight their eyes were on. She swallowed a gulp of water as a way to cover her face. "No way! You're part of the honor roll?" Lana turned to her in disbelief.
"Yep, I'm on a roll!", Luan snickered. Lana groaned as she nudged her arm. "Get it?"
After a few minutes then, when the whole family finished eating, the house quieted down as she- along with Lucy and Lynn- were left downstairs, coming along the sink to wash the dishes. These were the nights that made you wish you had special privileges like Lori, who doesn't need to do much because "keeping the house in check" is already a demanding task in itself.
Their hands bumped occasionally as she quietly did the job hand in hand with Lucy. Lynn was uninterested and in a rare moment, out of the zone. She stared at a phone, multitasking between scrolling lazily through it while placing the dishes back into the cabinet. On most evenings, three of them usually just made each other's company; mostly involving Lynn and Lucy groaning at Luan's puns- that was the closest the trio had as a bond.
"You're awfully quiet tonight." Lucy spoke up. "It's almost as if you were me."
The sound of the plate echoed as Lynn placed it on the cupboard. "Not that I'm complaining; haven't heard you let out a single bad joke today."
Not a word uttered today, huh? Luan shot Lynn playful smirk. "Oh, so you didn't hear about me going vegan?"
It struck a chord in her. Lynn wasn't a keeper of secrets, nor did she ask for anyone to keep hers- but she demanded Luan to keep her yap shut after she walked in on Lynn watching 'The Vegan Tutor' unironically.
Lynn shot her a glare. "Hey, I told you not to say a word out of that!"
"I don't get what's going on," Lucy said. "I don't think I wanna."
For the first time in a while, a newfound source of energy powered Luan. She faced Lucy, with a gaping mouth- threatening to speak a word about Lynn and her inside joke. "I-"
"Not even a word of it, Luan!" Lynn growled.
Luan closed her mouth but giggled. Seeing her the toughest girl in the house being so bashful over her guilty pleasure is cute, and ridiculous. "Eh, I'm just playing with you."
"I'd take your weird puns any day." Lynn pouted. "That wasn't cool."
Luan reached to pinch her freckled cheek. "What would you know about being cool?"
She slapped her hand away, the edges of her lips quivering into a smile. "Don't do that."
Lynn was the type who'd never back down from her opinion, even if it was wrong.
But so did she.
There it began the start of a debate. She ruthlessly argued with Lynn over the smallest thing, from their room odor, to her grades- and Lynn did the same. The three of them threw banter at each other, with Lynn and Luan spatting insults while Lucy occasionally joined in as audience. Doing the dishes suddenly stretched on for an hour, as all three of them got caught up in maintaining their conversation. As impersonal as their argument may have been, it did serve as an outlet to release the turmoil Luan had been carrying for weeks.
"Hey, Luan," Lynn and her grew quiet. "How come your card wasn't hung on the fridge along with ours?"
"I've been wondering that too." Lynn added.
And there goes the fun.
Luan shrugged nonchalantly. "I don't know; the teachers probably haven't finished writing down all my achievements yet."
"Here I was expecting a serious answer." Lynn grunted in annoyance.
She glared at Lynn, with a teasing glint in her eye. "Hey, I'm not wrong. I probably have way more stuff to brag about than you!"
Thirty-minutes of a good argument passed afterwards, before they finally finished washing the plates. Shortly after, all three came upstairs to get ready for bed.
After brushing her teeth, Luan came into her room with a lighter feeling in her chest. Who knew having a debate was all she needed to get that inner turmoil out the way?
She opened the door, only to find herself in the outside the uncleaned tornado that their room was from the morning earlier. Clothes from purple to white were scattered on the ground. Her comedy props, a random microphone, and her rubber chicken laid a part of the mess.
Luan shot her roommate a glare. "You were here the whole time and you didn't even think about picking a single thing up?"
Clad in her pajamas, Luna plucked at her acoustic guitar with a shrug. "What can I say, brah? I clean my mess, you clean yours."
Luan pursed her lip into a snarl, picking up her chicken, her long, colorful handkerchiefs tied together, and her clown wig, before putting them into her comedy chest. "Half of the stuff down here isn't even mine."
Ignoring Luna's nonchalant mumble, Luan changed into her plaid pajamas. Now that she was feeling a bit better, maybe her inspiration is back up. With a placid smile on her face, she sat on her bed and reached into her backpack, grabbing her joke book and pencil.
"What did the 0 say to the 8? Nice belt!", scratch that. It's a terrible joke.
"Two cannibals are eating a clown. One says to the other 'Does this taste funny to you?"
The lead of her pencil snapped as she vigorously stabbed the paper. Luan slammed her joke book on the bed. Was it so hard to make decent jokes?
Within a new quip written down, a replay of the semester slithers in, seething at her were the reminders of how it started off as homework after school on the daily. Then slowly, the projects started as a way to connect with other students. The connection became hierarchy Luan didn't hesitate to climb on. Each time, Luan would sacrifice one more thing she loved. One more hobby, one more buddy- just to focus on what's there, on what she could achieve if she were the head and executive producer of her groups.
The scribbles of her failed jokes and the rest of the blank page only fueled the boiling in her blood. Heck, she was already here; on the verge of losing her social life- all for the sake of standing out and becoming better than best.
Her stomach churned. Life is too short to think about what she'd lost.
"Hey, dude,", Luna climbed down the top bunk, bringing her acoustic guitar. "I got a new jam, and I need an ear to hear it out."
Luan shoved her face in her joke book. Living with a musician meant you'd get constant sneak peeks of their new singles. She wasn't up for it right now, though. "Shoot for the stars, Luna."
Once Luna sat on her beanbag, the strings of her guitar began playing, as melodious humming echoed in the room. Luan dropped her notebook, yanked her bag from the ground, and surfed through it to grab her all her school documents. Slow drumming, mixed with the strumming of her guitar produced a catchy beat that she nodded her head to.
Pulling her hand out the backpack, was plastic envelope full of her assignments and tests. Nothing good came from anything anymore. What was the point of studying anymore, if aiming for perfection is only gonna land her the role of being a leader in those group projects once more? Who was she, to get that A, when her groups only served as a one-man's work, while everyone else feasted on its results?
Suddenly, the music ringing in her ears stopped. "So, how was that for a kick-start?"
Luan pulled her head up and blinked. "Huh? What?"
The frustrated look in Luna's face laid all the answers. The guitar dropped on the ground as Luna dropped her shoulders, shooting her a deadpan stare. "Were you even listening?"
To be honest, no, I wasn't. "I kinda was?", Luan sheepishly grinned. She didn't wanna let her down, what else could she say? Luan was far off the mood to listen to music, or anything at all. "Sorry, I guess I tuned you out. I got caught up thinking about my homework."
"Of course, you always do." Luna grumbled.
With a groan, Luna climbed back up to her bunk. Leaving a skeptical Luan trailing her eyes to the upper deck wondering what that five-word phrase implied.
"How would Luan feel if she attended our recognitions…?" Her ears perked up.
A slight cacophony of buzzing was heard, along with voices in the kitchen. Having woke up just minutes prior alone in the room, Luna came downstairs that Friday morning clad in her pajamas. Her stomach grumbled, and she figured it'd be better to eat first before taking a shower.
The buzzing became apparent, and when she turned, it was just Leni blending an orange smoothie. She peeked into the room, finding all her siblings save for Luan, clad in their own sleepwear. "Just dropping by when I heard Linc mention Luan. Where is she anyway?"
They all shushed her. "Turn your voice down." Lana whispered.
She titled her head skeptically. "She's in mom and dad's room right now, asking where her character slip is. Don't ask how I know that, by the way."
"The bathroom vents." Lisa bluntly said, earning a rough nudge to the belly from Lola. "Ouch."
Luna nodded, leaning on the door frame. "What's the deal here?"
"Wuna!" Looking down was her baby sister, Lily, tugging at the bottom of her slip-on pajama; her arms stretched and hands opening and closing. Who could resist? With a grin, she took the toddler in her arms, yet Lily still acted fussy and bothered.
"What's the trouble, little brah?"
Being only two years old, Lily began speaking gibberish- flailing her arms with a scowl on her face. It meant nothing since it wasn't like she could decipher it. Luna glanced at Leni and shrugged, signaling for her to translate what she was saying.
Leni got the signal. Apparently, the morning earlier, Lily went to their room to check on Luan- asking her for some company. "Lincoln came across her coming out of your room, on the verge of tears after that."
Lily spoke more gibberish, to which Leni translated. "While you were asleep, Luan told her to leave, since she wasn't in the mood to play around today."
"Which is why I had conducted this meeting." Lincoln said in a hushed tone. "We've all been noticing how weird Luan's been acting lately," He started. "The way she stays up late to do her homework, to her coming downstairs for breakfast looking like a zombie, and then-"
"Not to mention how she gets us late almost every time!" Lola injected.
"-The way she's been quieter too. She hasn't been on our backs like normally, and we've all noticed how Mr. Coconuts appears less and less- like each day, we're losing another part of her again." Lincoln continued. "Luna, you're her roommate, what do you think's going on with her?"
"I say she's all good. Probably just puberty doing its thing." Lynn intervened. "Come on, Luce- you're with me on this. She was debating with me last night when we were washing the dishes!"
Lucy shrugged. "I've heard things within these walls more than you have to assume that, Lynn."
"Technically speaking, our fourth-elder sister has been a bit more fatigued lately." Lisa adjusted her glasses. "Though, I'm an advocate for Lynn's idea- as much as hard it is for me to say. I sense that considering that she's at the peak of puberty stage, it's merely just the imbalance of hormones in her body- hence her mood swings and confusing behavior- along with the additional work loads she's been dumped throughout the new semester."
"See, what Brainbox said!"
"Are you guys Luna?" Lincoln shushed them with a glare.
"Huh, guess we're all in even terms then." Luna paused. Last night, she was acting odd. Normally, Luan always offered up an ear first whenever she needed somebody to critic her music. Then she considered the week that passed by, how fights happened more and how melancholic she'd been looking like. "I think all of us have seen how she's such a grouse lately. I guess that's 'cuz she's downright obsessed with being a good student- I mean, she was since the first semester, but nowadays, she's only gotten worse."
"Is she quitting comedy because of it?" Lana asked.
She paused, before shaking her head. "I don't think so? Then again, how'd I know? She hasn't been talking to Mr. C for a while now- nor have I seen her scribbling on her joke book, or doing her routine."
"Okay, now we really have something to worry about." They glared at Lana. "What? Comedy's her life. If she quits it like last time, then we know there's almost no turning back for her."
Lincoln tapped his chin. "I wanna look up on the case, David Steele style!" He exclaimed. "I remember, she made a pun to me days back about how everything's going down. Plus, we've all noticed that she's obsessed with being a good student, always stays up late to do homework, acts weird and moody around us- maybe… that's it. She's insecure about her academic performance!"
"Where's your proof, Stinkin'?" Lynn scoffed. "I don't know why we're getting worked up here. Luan literally told me about how she had way more stuff to brag about than I do- how's that for insure?"
They broke into mumbles. Luna herself began thinking: those hints, from rejecting her help, to acting like the hero in her own story… it was weird, yeah. But it's not logical enough to land to the conclusion that she's envious of them. Luan was clever enough to know those character slips were bogus, at least, Luna's was. That thing about her being the calmest Loud they've seen? Shocker. "She's stressed out- I mean, I went through the same phase."
Everyone grew quiet. "We didn't do anything that'd cause her to make her jealous of us. If anything, we should be envious of her- she's just as much of an achiever as we are, and heck, out of ten of us, she's one of the three who made it into the honor roll."
They talked amongst themselves. "Look, for all I've seen personally, Lisa and LJ's guesses aren't a hit-or-miss. Luan needs space, that's probably it. If we're just gonna keep prying her and talking about this, the more she'll close up on us, dudes. We'll think of a game plan when she officially hits rock bottom, deal?"
"What happened to better safe than sorry?" Leni frowned.
Luna shot her a beam. "There's nothing to prevent, Leni. At this point, we're all just assuming."
Luna smiled as they began to agree to her statement. She hoped to believe herself too.
--
She sat on the second to the last stair, gripping tightly on the bannisters. Her heartbeat drummed with the sounds of her labored breathing. They knew? No, no, more like- they're close to knowing it.
Luan rushed upstairs and plastered herself on the wall to Leni's room. Confronting mom and dad about her where her personality slips were, was already too heavy for her to think about, and now this?
Her act wasn't enough. She had to play-pretend harder.
Or maybe, it was better the opposite way. Just to try and push their buttons, see how they'd react.
Swallowing through her dry throat, Luan fingered the opening of her pajama pocket, hissing at the sharpness that sliced the tip of her flesh. Without a second thought, she rushed into the bathroom and locked the door behind her. It was only a matter of time… before they'd find out.
...
The trash bin echoed as a soda can was shot into it. School's out for the day, but her day wasn't over just yet.
Leaving her toss the way it was, Luna strolled down the crowded school corridor, shoving a hand into her skirt's pockets. She stopped by a door with stickers of drums, xylophones and other instruments and turned the knob. Not gonna lie, Luan plainly ignoring her when she asked for someone to listen to caught her off guard- it just didn't seem like her to dare to do that; the same way she'd never toss aside Luan's comedy routine when she needed an audience or a rimshot.
Then again, why would she really let her butthurt little sis bother her? Luan was sensitive, emotionally, as much as she'd deny it with her eccentric behavior. There were eight other kids, like Lucy, Lincoln or Leni- they cared so much more; what's there to worry about when they already took on that role?
"Lunes!" Sam greeted her with a half-hug. "You ready to rock?"
The Moon Goats stood before her and greeted her with smiles. Last year, the head of state began a campaign for promoting young talent, and budgeted this once-in-a-year event where cities with all the young prodigies of Michigan unite and compete with one another, both to showcase talent and to boast of Michigan shaping students into future performers. Since it's kick-off last year, high school clubs from around the state continue to anticipate this very event: The Festival of Talents.
Luna pulled out the embrace and punched the air. "Let's roll, gang!"
They all cheered and went to their instruments, faces ready and determined to make history.
The Moon Goats were in on its debut last year, and performed all the way in Detroit. At the time, their band had been newly formed, and a lot of confusion was raised with the way their band chemistry still felt awkward -that time, winning a title was a dream left in vain.
But a year had passed, and they've all grown together as close friends. They blend and complement each other well in both personalities and instruments. Unlike their time in Detroit, the Moon Goats have become refined to the point gigs and concerts do nothing to waver their confidence. Luna was sure that with just a bit more passion injected into their music, they'd get some winning title for "The Best Composed Song", or "The Best in Band Costume".
Mayor Davis could see it, and was yet again, full of high hopes for Royal Woods this year. She came in contact with Principal Rivers to share the news. Both of them were cheery and positive that an opportunity as such would send the Moon Goats skyrocketing into heights soared never before. "You kids, have a lot of potential. And this, is your opportunity to fulfill it."
Luna walked up to the microphone, and grabbed the electric purple left idle on its guitar stand. They were true believers for real. Principal Rivers proved to be of full support the moment she called them to her office the other day and said they could have one hour off a desired class to practice. Who were they to say no to it?
"Wait, I forgot to tell you guys," Sully said, pulling out keys from his pocket. "Principal Rivers came to me earlier, and said the competition will be held in Royal Woods!"
What!?
All eyes turned on him. "You serious, bro?" Luna blurted out.
He nodded, turning to the girl beside him. "Mazzy, tell them."
"He's telling the truth; I was there with him." The room broke out in cheers. "The whole school is gonna collaborate in preparing the place. Plus, Principal Rivers gave us full permission to practice our concert in the theatre room- that is, when the club isn't around, of course."
The room broke into mumbles. Luna took the keys from Sully with a laugh. This was epic news! Not only will the rest of Michigan tour around Royal Woods, but now, they can showboat how cool the school is- or will be once the preparations are finished. "Well, what're we waiting for? The theatre room is so much bigger than here!"
"What about our speakers and all that? Wouldn't we need lots of arms for that?" Mazzy said.
"We'd have to bring them back to this room afterwards, anyway." Sully hesitantly said. "We'd be wasting time moving back and forth. I think it's better to transfer there when we're finally having our final rehearsals."
The whole room grew quiet. Luna gazed at the ground in thought. Sully and Mazzy do have an argument. There were amplifiers here that'd probably waste their time in just moving back and forth the theatre and band rooms. What's worse is that one hour isn't as long as it looks, especially when you're doing music. Writing songs, testing chord progressions, playing songs over and over again 'til perfection is a time annihilator.
"If you put it that way…" Luna looked up to them. "Yeah, I guess we should stay here."
Sam averted her gaze. "Mind if I go the girl's room first?"
Luna smiled. "Want company?"
Sam returned the grin and signaled Luna to follow her out the door. Luna glanced at her bandmates one more time and reminded them to watch over the room in the meantime, before walking out to trail her girlfriend's footsteps.
They walked down the corridor side by side. "This is super cool, isn't it?" Sam said. "We have all the experience we need! We're so gonna dig this concert!"
"You said it, Sam!" Luna threw up the goats. Both of them took a sharp turn to the left hallway. "Plus, this is our opportunity to make the whole state feel at home in Royal Woods!"
"How do we go about this preparation anyway?" Sam glanced at her. "I think we're gonna be left in charge for how we want the school to look like overall."
Luna hummed in thought. The Moon Goats had been through many gigs before. Some were at The Burnt Bean, others were at Sunset Canyon, and even the Royal Woods Mall's Concert Hall. However, what struck this event different from the rest of their gigs is the responsibility.
Through all those times they had to perform live somewhere, somebody else- be it an outsider or most likely Lincoln- the manager with the planager – is facilitating the event. The one's in charge of the venue, the paperwork, the tickets, and all that boring stuff no musician wants to sit down and talk to face to face.
But this one was made to sound like it was in their hands to keep the visitors coming to Royal Woods. Like the school itself will give a hand, but they're not the ones paving the way first.
And as the lead vocalist and leader of the Royal Woods High School Band Club, the weight had been pressing on her from day one. Being the lead singer didn't just mean having the long end of the stick, or being the most known in the band for singing a major part of the songs- it also meant being obligated to tasks such as these.
Blame her or not, these are the only times Luna despises being the lead vocalist.
But eh, things will work out in the end. She didn't know how, but it will somehow. "I wouldn't worry about that right now, Sam." Luna said. "We've got the whole school to back us up. If we dud with our plan, they'll help us out."
"I see your point." Sam nodded.
The corridor was emptiest after 3:20 pm. A lot of the students don't linger long unless they've got clubs or practices- which usually happen out the fields. It felt like they were the only ones here. Like it was an apocalypse and only they were the survivors- sort of vibe.
Sam nudged her and said she really needed to go, and that she could catch up in the bathroom once she gets there. Luna watched her dash into the next hallway to the right which was headed right to the restroom.
Now that she was here, might as well just check out if anyone else is skipping class for the gist of it.
Shuffle… shuffle
From the corner of her eye, was an open locker. The sounds of fumbling and metal clanging against skin echoed. Luna walked closer, immediately recognizing the brown shoes and the fuchsia flowers on them.
She quickly approached the girl, walking right behind her. The corner of her mouth twitched up as Luna let her finger hover on Luan's back. "Boo!"
"Gah!" Luan jolted under the touch of a finger on her shoulder, twisting herself around.
"Gotcha." Luna giggled.
Luan pressed herself inside her locker, before the shock on her face quickly subsided. She shot daggers at the still-chuckling Luna. "Why would you startle me like that?"
"C'mon, you gotta admit it was funny, dude." Luna shrugged. Like Lucy said, play along the jokes. "Anyway, are you coming home soon?"
"Haha, yeah, because giving me a heart attack isn't funny, it's humorous." Luan scowled, shutting the locker behind her. "I'm waiting for the other thespians. Mrs. Bernardo said she had an important announcement to make. I probably won't stay too long, though."
"Shouldn't you be in the theatre room by now, then?" Luna scratched the back of her neck, her face feeling hot. It was nearing the end of fall, and boy was this year warmer than the previous autumns they went through. The school heater would carry them through just fine; why the heck would she wear something as stuffy as her coat?
"I don't feel like hanging there for long." Luan scratched her nose. "I'm waiting for an update in our group chat. " She said, pulling her phone out.
"How'd class go? Didn't you mention having a test this afternoon?"
Luan blinked, staring at her as if the mere question surprised her. "Yeah, right. Aced it, as always." She huffed. "Honestly though, I wish it were the weekend already. I just wanna take a break- forever."
Luan's a theatre actress. Pretending and shifting into a character is her thing. For all she could know, this nonchalant, tired act of hers was just making way for another prank to come along. Luan couldn't stay blue for longer than a day, let alone a week, unless it was for a heavy reason.
But then again, maybe Luan really was at the time of the month.
Luna chuckled in an attempt to light up the room. "Sophomore year does that to people."
Instead of laughing as she expected, Luan scowled. If this were an act, Luan's definitely hell bent on perfecting it.
Luna coughed awkwardly, glancing at Luan's hands, resting by her waist. He was missing, again. "Yo, brah, where's your chap? I haven't seen you with him since like, two days ago?"
She glanced at the hallway. "Oh, Mr. Coconuts?" Luan said. "His performance was a little woody, Geddit?"
That pun would've been literal comic relief, if not for the context that laid behind it. Her lips pathetically twitched up for a split second before giving up. Her snicker sounded forced-out. It didn't radiate the giddy, butterfly-like energy Luan was known for.
She had seen the change coming like leaves falling when autumn was fast approaching. Each day, Luan would lose another part of what seemed to be vital to her lifestyle. Sidelines and extra hobbies like Funny Business were put on hiatus as she so recently read on her sister's HeadBook page. Two days ago, Luna watched as she kept her whoopee cushions, her Groucho Marx glasses into a drawer they hardly open and eventually, her joke book.
The only thing that remained was her and her bestest buddy in the world, Mr. Coconuts. Let's not forget, her occasional quips. One of the few things that made up Luan Loud- the most annoying roommate she's ever had.
But now, the former seemed out of the picture too. And to think they're inseparable.
Luna exhaled. It was weird enough having to see her switch back and forth between high and low moods. This week had Luan's behavior so in-her-face. A very familiar glimpse of how she acted like back when mom and dad assigned her to work for the government council, where she was taught to debate about things that 'actually' mattered.
Around the family, she acted like her typical, cheery self. But when the doors close and it's only both of them left in the room, her evening talks with Mr. Coconuts became less and less, only to be replaced by the sounds of her skipping through the pages of her notebooks. Her stand-up routine wasn't called a routine for no reason, but since the second semester started last week, it's like Luan dropped it entirely. Like the chatty, bubbly side of Luan was stripped away when it was just them- because all Luna ever heard nowadays were the late-night taps of her keyboard.
Luan whistled as her backpack pressed against her locker. "What about you? Are you coming home yet?"
"Nope. We got after school band practice." She swallowed. They could see each other as clear as the lights could offer, yet it felt like there a wall divided them from fully saying anything.
Luan nodded uncaringly.
This apathy was expected from Lisa, or Lucy- but Luan? She was the first person to bury her nose into something, next to Lincoln.
Her boot tapped constantly on the ground. This conversation was getting nowhere with them. Luan was just spinning it in circles. As refreshing as it was to not hear her immature puns and childish demeanor, Luna would take that any day rather than dealing with this side of her. There's no point of enjoying the peace of not having to hear another lame pun, if her sister is most likely hurting deep inside.
There had to be something wrong, and there was a strong notion to spill it out of her. Whatever Luan was feeling, Luna wanted to get to the bottom of it.
Luna looked at the long, unwinding hallway before her. If the empty space could talk, it'd push her to give it up and leave. It's not like beating around the bush worked with getting her to spill what's really up.
But she couldn't just give it up.
She turned back to Luan, toning her voice down into a hushed whisper. "Dude, what's your deal?"
Luan raised her eyes from her phone, giving a puzzled look. "What do you mean? "
She swallowed. How was she gonna approach this subject? "I've just been noticing… you've been dwindling lately. I can't remember when's the last time you actually acted like yourself, especially around me."
Luan crossed her arms tightly. "Seriously, Luna- when I'm acting like the clown that I'm supposed to be, you don't pay me any mind. You don't even bother with my jokes, and now you're coming here asking me if I'm alright just because I toned it down? What's up with you?"
Luna leaned back. What's up with me?
"What's up with you? You said it yourself- I wouldn't cling on you that much if you weren't acting so strange lately." She raised her voice. "You're giving me a reason to care about you. All this stuff with you being so dedicated to missing sleep, just to do your schoolwork isn't healthy, dude! I thought you only pulled out all-nighters time-to-time, but the girls told me you were doing it nearly every night."
She glowered at Luna. "What choice do I have, Luna? I can't pass if I don't give it my all. Old news- it's all in the name of climbing on top of the academic chain."
"Yeah, all of us feel the same way, Luan. Heads up, you're not the only one who's working hard to get A's on their card." Luna bluntly said. "But even we take our time to slack off!"
"You? Working hard to get A's?" She let out a sarcastic laugh. "No way."
"You don't believe me?" Luna titled her head cockily. "Who got themselves up on the fridge and who didn't? Between both of us, huh?"
Luan winced, a small gasp slipping out her mouth. "And? What's that gotta do with anything? All your card had was party, party, party. Life's more than just having fun, for your information." Luan jabbed a finger to her chest. "You wouldn't know that; all you care about is rock and roll! You just turn a cold shoulder to your studies, believing passion will make you become the next Mick Swagger; let's face it, after all this, will playing small gigs really get you that far? "
Contrary to popular belief, she did care about her grades; just not as much as the other siblings do. Having to hear that was incredibly illogical…below the belt. By all means, her music career had almost no connection with her academics- save for the club. It's almost as if she was trying to inflict a personal offense.
"The heck, dude? What did I do to you? "
A grin grew on Luan's face. The first real smile Luna had seen from her the whole day- the only smile she wanted to wipe off her face. Luan always loved a challenge; call her puns annoying, and say she's psychotic- heck, arguing with her, even- will do nothing but exacerbate her current state. She was probably getting comedic relief from doing this. "Oh, you did nothing. Nothing good to help me, anyway."
"What do you mean?" Luna's eyebrows furrowed "I've been trying to reach out to you all this time!"
Like going up to the cemetery to tell the dead to feel alive for the sake of it - Luan was the embodiment of that phrase. Though she came off as a little insensitive thanks to her untimely puns, it didn't come naturally to her to say something stand-offish outta nowhere for no reason; if she, or Mr. Coconuts did, then it never carried an intention of ill will. It wasn't normal for her to act like a sociopath at all, unless it was that time in April again. Even rarer to find her upset, even rarer to see her acting so blunt and uncaring.
Nonetheless, you'll never truly know what how deep silent waters run. Luna could dive all she wanted on why Luan was acting this way, and for how long she had been building up her inner turmoil- but it'd be pointless if nothing changes.
Luan shrugged, and stared back at her phone.
"Seriously, this school- no, sophomore year changed you." Luna said. "You're stressed out, brah. Take a rest."
Luan let out a laugh. A dry laugh. " You're the one stressing me out. You take a rest."
Luna's fist clenched and unclenched. Luan's endearing trait of painting things in a positive light and getting over it quickly is a blessing, because it's unbearable when Luan's forced into a state when things are bitter. Because once she's in it, that's all she'd ever be.
"What's wrong?" Luan said with a sardonic smirk. "Can't handle a joke?"
A low growl escaped her mouth, leaving Luan to look at her, waiting for a response. "Can you stop acting so defensive all the time? " Luna pressed a hand on her temple. "Why can't you just… admit your deal like any normal person would? Didn't it hit you that the more you throw your jokes around like this, the more obvious it gets that you're hiding something? "
"I'm not hiding anything, in fact, you're probably the one with a problem." Luan giggled in amusement. "Sarcasm is all the craze nowadays; maybe you're too butthurt to admit that to yourself."
There's a thin line between sarcasm that's actually funny, and just plain-insulting people, Luan.
"And you think being sarcastic at a time like this is amusing?" Luna asserted. "This isn't you, Luan. You make jokes for the good of everyone, not to push them away. Isn't that why you do comedy to begin with?"
Luan rolled her eyes. "Please, there's more to it than making people laugh, if you hadn't known already."
Luan's phone dinged as she shoved Luna away, before rushing down the hallway. Her legs beckoned to chase after Luan, who was speeding off, yet a thought held her back, and no muscle moved.
More than making people laugh? Luna breathed in the cool scent of the school's air conditioner, wiping the sweat on her brow. Then what else was she trying to do?
She knew Luan well enough to know comedy was more than just a hobby. It was her passion. When they were younger, Luan would constantly ramble on about putting a smile on people's face. How she'd feel frustrated when the punchline was delivered wrong or untimely, only to be better when people are amused at it. Luan loved being happy, and she wanted everybody else to feel the same way.
She wasn't a stranger to that since music was hers. If Luan wrote jokes to influence people share her joy, Luna composed songs as a way to create a relatable space for people like her. Writing, composing something out of the mess that was life came enough to release her inner turmoil, hoping to find people who'd reach out and share the same experience. Turning pain into art was the only way she could remind herself that there was a route out of the heartache. The only place she could truly express herself was through her home studio, screaming her lungs out strumming the guitar, or banging on her drums.
That could've been it, right? What could she have meant by its more than just making people happy, if that's why she did it in the first place?
Luna looked down and pinched the bridge of her nose. Comedy… jokes, and pain… Luan hated the latter, and put everything in her power to turn it into the former. That meant she didn't just do it for them then- she also did it for herself.
Oh shoot. Her head shot up. Speaking of music…
She pulled out her phone from the pocket and checking the time. Her fingers pinched the bridge of her nose, letting out a long groan as her eyes caught glimpse of 15 unread messages from her bandmates. Almost twenty minutes wasted. Wasted on an unexpected encounter with Luan, that obviously, gave off no clue as to what truly was troubling her.
Luna turned her phone off and passively slipped in in her pocket. Band practice could come another time, for as long as next week.
She closed her eyes and leaned against the locker, sucking in air. But Luan? Her own sister and roommate, who was right here moments prior barking at her with things that were so important to Luna? Sure, Luan wasn't the best at controlling her mouth. Almost all their arguments start either because of a prank, or her lack of impulse control- so many times before, did the wrong thing come out, and stirred a fire in her. It happened all the time between them.
But she never went as far as to insult her love for music like that. What happened to the girl years back who pushed her into pursuing showbiz when they were younger in the first place? Luna opened her eyes looked at the empty hall. Wanting to help somebody with their problems when they themselves refuse to open their eyes to it was like moving a mountain.
Running a hand through her hair, Luna huffed. But how could she quit, when the hike's just beginning? How could she stand there and watch Luan slowly become an entirely different person- morphing into the shell of her former self?
Walks are supposed to clear you head; yet the sudden action in her body, to the thudding noise of her boots hitting the ground did nothing to minimize the floating thought in mind. Luna wasn't dumb. Try as Luan may do, every encounter with her was becoming stiffer than the last. It seems that within a new chance to talk to her, the constant strain in her smiles, to the aridity of her laughter only worsens.
When the chance to talk to her comes, all she's faced with is a fraud sense of company with a hint of hostility. In fairness, they weren't the closest of friends; yet why did it feel like Luan was trying to turn her into an enemy?