The day could be full of events- a parade of laughs, a festival of fun, or whatever the sun could offer her- yet nobody turns an eye to it. She could keep going on, and on about all the pranks she'd done today, or all the crazy stuff she was up to with her friends in the past- yet whether she shared her material to the quieter Louds like Lucy, Lincoln, and God forbid, Lisa- their eyes glaze over waiting for something better to happen, simply anticipating when her joke fest would call it a day. Unless you gave them an incentive, or a reason to stay- be it ice cream takeout, or an say its important business that needed their urgent help.

But that was normal. They all shared the same blood, the same parents, and the same nature of being, well loud, but that's probably where the similarities end. The love never goes away, it's buried within all of them- yes, but that doesn't justify having to sit down and listen to Lynn talking about the Lions, or the Tigers, or whatever animal there is associated with a sports team, or whenever Lincoln would invite her to watch a Sci-Fi movie or read comics of jocular dudes with their undies outside, saving the world. Might as well call her speed, because she'd be out the room in seconds.

Yet somehow, now that she's dropped it; her puns, her jokes, her comedy routine, everything that made her siblings groan and irate- they're jumping all in her case. " Luan, are you okay?", "Knock, knock, Funny Business is calling- said they wanted their comedian back." What happened to 'she's getting on my nerves', 'so annoying', and the things they'd always say whenever she perked up?

Luan scoffed. Hypocrites.

She walked slower as the theatre room got nearer. Hello's and greeting smiles were thrown at her as she walked into the room. She scanned around and found everyone sitting scattered around the front seats.

His curly locks made her heart jolt. Even he was here.

"Ah yes, Luan," Mrs. Bernardo greeted. "Make yourself comfy!"

She bashfully grinned and rushed to a random empty seat.

"So, Mrs. Bernardo, all of us are here. What was the so special announcement you wanted to make?", Spencer hesitantly raised his hand.

"Well, apart from how I am about to attend a commercial shooting later, I apologize for keeping you all in the dark! This announcement is such spectacular news that I just had to have everybody here to hear it." Mrs. Bernardo feigned shock. "Enough chit-chat now, allow me to finally show you the light!

Luan sneered. Mrs. Bernardo being ever so dramatic.

Mrs. Bernardo cleared her throat. "Mayor Davis has spoken! Theatre is now officially included in the Michigan Festival of Talents!"

Her eyes widened. "As in the same competition the band club participates in every year?"

Everyone cheered as Mrs. Bernardo nodded. "We are chosen to pick any theme of theatre as we please! And what's better? All of you are obligated to perform excellently, but Luan shall be the one taking charge of the film!"

All eyes cornered her as she barely got the words out. Not another leadership role. God no. "W-why me?"

The last time she worked as the club's director, it didn't work out as well as anticipated. It was either to pick between making friends, or acting assertive and firm with her decisions in order to maintain an impersonal relationship between them. Both decisions of which, weighed heavier than the other: to be liked or to be respected? Mr. Coconuts had to do it for her, and they all remember how that went down.

Even now, she had no idea how to get both in such a situation without having to apologize for being too "strict".

"You're the one with experience! Our last show was a big blowout, thanks to you!" Mrs. Bernardo approached her with an encouraging smile. "Don't even get me started with your marvelous writing skills! You're the most outstanding scriptwriter in the pack. And in the theatre world, scriptwriting always goes hand-in-hand with directing."

Parvana chimed in. "Hey, you could be the scriptwriter, and maybe somebody else could be director! I'm sure someone like Amy would enjoy the role!"

"I couldn't possibly outstand our original director!" Amy stammered, with a growing grin. One of the actresses that gave her a mild headache. She reminded Luan of Lola; pushy, and butting in without anybody asking. " But given the opportunity, I'd definitely be happy to help you out in this, Luan."

Luan had the best teacher: experience; being the cameraman, editor, and producer of her own comedy videos on Eyetube. Having ten siblings to choose from didn't mean she relied on them to produce the same style of quality she pictured of herself; regardless of how she'd teach them, getting it into their heads wasted more time than Luan could compensate. It helped with her having experience in the theatre world recently; Mrs. Bernardo wasn't slacking when she said that directors and scriptwriters come hand-in-hand. Anyone could write a story, and anybody can be a director; but only one mind can portray a story the same way it was envisioned during the writing process.

But regardless, directing takes assertion. It takes guts to tell your people what you want them to do, the way you want them to. She hardly managed out of it last time. And with all the academic group projects she had and has to do, she wasn't standing strong anymore, rather, crawling. Trying to make it through the year without falling apart after the events that went on. Would she let herself fall into the same problem with leadership again, or settle for less instead…?

It's a contest, Luan. She thought. If you take the lead, you know you're gonna set up Royal Woods High School in for a treat.

Without letting any other thought come in, Luan made a decision.

"Bring it on." Everyone cheered.

This should be easy. Luan thought. After all, this club became her friend. These people were her friends. They had each other's backs, especially at such a time like this. With the work ethic she currently had, and their unsolicited cooperation, what could go wrong?

When Mrs. Bernardo left the room to their own devices, Luan instantly felt the weight of their gazes on her. This was it, another chance to act like a true, spirited leader. You've been through this a bajillion times in the first semester; but unlike there, you don't need to do everything.

Don't mess it up for yourself.

Luan stood up from her chair and faced them. Step one, take initiative. "So, guys, what should we do first?" No, shoot. She already knew what's to be done first. "Scratch that- I mean, do any of you have an idea of what we should base the script on?"

They broke out into a discussion, with voices toppling upon one another. Through the noise, she could hear their uproar of suggestions, from comedy to romance, to drama; maybe even Sci-Fi. She crossed her arms and observed the room, finding Benny sitting at the back of it all, bowing his head and not speaking a word.

A strong sinking sensation filled her. Luan shifted her eyes to the doors of the theatre room. Yesterday still counted as a fresh wound; she may have gotten it bandaged up with distractions like homework and school itself, but that didn't mean he had to heal on his own too, knowing that she'd the reason for feeling like that in the first place.

While the group grew engrossed in their topic, she slipped herself out the front and into the aisle he sat. As she neared a vacant stay beside him, Benny snuck a glance at her. She couldn't resist noticing the slight twitch on his lip.

"Hey, Ben-Ben…"

"Hey…"

She sat beside him, but he didn't look up to her. "So, what's up?"

Luan tried to alleviate the mood with a little chuckle. The noises around her didn't stop; contrasting the constricting silence in the aisle just right behind them.

Finally, he looked at her with half a smile. "You feeling better?"

"Better than better." She giggled, and it must be been contagious because his eyes lit up at the moment she did. "Don't worry; past is past."

As fast as the room lit up, did the light extinguish. His smile faltered, but didn't completely disappear. Benny chuckled sheepishly, fiddling with his thumbs. "You recovered quick. I mean, I costed you and the whole group's grade- how could you forgive me that quickly?"

Even before they committed, her eyes were magnetically following his every move from the start, and each one only made her heart skip higher than the last. She loved joy, and being in the high all the time. Benny gave her exactly that; his smile was yellow to her blue. His laugh was a dopamine reward for every joke she cracked. Never had she ever laughed to tears before, then by hearing him utter a single pun- even if it was the lamest one in the book. Benny is dopamine, something Luan so cherished. How could she not?

"You don't have to apologize, I know how stressed you were behind all that." Even if I did take advantage of it. "I guess it's none of our faults. Leave it to Mr. Fernandez instead, he's the one who led us on."

They laughed.

"I'm really sorry for yesterday's outburst." Luan whispered. "You didn't deserve to be embarrassed like that, or to receive a lash out from me … I should've understood your side more."

Benny shook his head. "You saved my face by volunteering to do the work for me- how could you feel sorry?"

"Good point", she weakly chuckled.There was still a wall between them, becoming smaller. Tighter, squeezing her. If there was one thing Luan couldn't stand- then it would be solemn weight in the atmosphere. Like black energy sucking out all the life out of a room. It could go on for so long without starting to feel boring.

A light bulb alit in her mind. It was on a rare occasion she'd let herself slip. Just this once, maybe they deserved a vacation.

She nudged him. "Hey, wanna go out to Burpin' Burger after school?"

Benny stared at his knee, bouncing within the passing second. "I don't really have the budget right now, Luan."

It didn't help how Benny was the opposite; he embraced his pain, his anxiety. His doubts. They rarely fought, but when they did, it was between this.

Luan frowned. "Call this our consolation prize. It's on the house."

He gasped lightly. "You don't need to do anything. I should be the one making up our grades for you. Lord knows how much work you put into the task, until I came to crush it."

"Aw, cheer up. It really just shows that you crushing on me." Luan let out a weak giggle, in hopes of hearing his laugh again.

He chuckled. "I really missed your puns, you know."

It worked. Her job is done.

She nudged him with a beaming grin. "It won't be the last."

"Don't make it last." Benny retorted.

After throwing him a wink, she stood up. With one thing checked off her list, Luan left her chair and walked over to the front row. They were still immersed in their informal discussion. Heck, with whatever spaceships and mumbo jumbo they were yapping about, Luan isn't even sure if they were talking about their play ideas anymore.

"So, team, how's the brainstorming going?"

They bombarded her with a chorus of potential new plans, consisting of astronauts saving the planet in order to impress his naturalist crush, of a spy trying to save their long-lost sibling only to face his own set of past traumas. Spencer said making a high school version of Jerry Maguire would bring the crowd in. Rex mentioned being the main character for one idea, Amy chimed in and said she was second lead. She stood there, listening; where to even begin?

Snap. It hit. Luan grinned. "I know what we should do."

Then there it was, they all voted for the final idea: it was a tie between the astronaut's journey to making a girl swoon, and the spy's past turning back to haunt him while on his quest to saving his little sister whom went lost when both of them were younger.

As director, and the only one who hasn't voted, Luan took the final decision. Mixing up the two ideas in order to create the perfect plot: Mainly inspired from a documentary back in the late 90's regarding Global Warming, this story takes place somewhere in the next twenty years, Nasa struggles to control the rapid deterioration of Earth's natural resources. The CEO, who seemed to never care enough to lessen the existential dread of losing the world, spins one-eighty degrees when he finds out that his sister, whom went lost when they were barely in primary school, had grown to be an activist who became viral due to her growing movement against Nasa for being apathetic to the issue today; marketing her protest with the quote, 'If Nasa can't change the world, then we will.'

Not only did this challenge him to fight against the sun, and to press society more weight into the importance of going green, but it also pushed him to face the monsters of his past.

"Let's call it: The Weight of Two Worlds." Luan said.

Everyone agreed to it without a second guess, and from there, was to focus on the details: Character naming took only a few minutes; the thespians agreed on which roles to take on. Luan pulled her phone out of the backpack she left on her seat, and turned on voice recording. They began discussing the rough sequence of the story, each of them contributing one more idea than the last.

"Yeah, this is getting boring," Amy said, she was never one for brainstorming anyway. "What'd you say we all take a break?"

They've only gotten the first act out of five; but eh, the contest was still next week. "Yeah, sure. That wouldn't hurt." Luan agreed.

She sat back on her seat and turned off the recording, figuring that home would give her more time to continue the draft. Luan swallowed through a dry throat as their conversation faded out. She knew the thespians could be counted on- this was the first time she had done a group project since the beginning of the semester, without struggling through having all the burden. This is the essence of true group work; making one do everything only to delegate it to the rest isn't teamwork, that's bossing your way through people.

"Hey, Luan," All their heads turned to face her as Shannon spoke. "Why haven't you been hanging with us lately?"

"Yeah, we just checked out a karaoke bar last week." Rex said. "You can't imagine how good their microphones are."

She resisted the urge to shrink into her seat and drop her look of surprise. As if giving her an idea of what she missed out on would help. To tell her that the group's been putting the high in high school while she was here swimming through a sea of homework, and projects? Were they urging her to just drop it? "That's good. I'll catch up on you guys real soon. Get yourselves ready then, 'cause we all know I'll be spitting more than just fire on that mic!"

Benny rolled his eyes from the row behind them. "I doubt you'd actually go through a single song without cracking one."

"Besides the point," Parvana interrupted. "What's been keeping you away, lately? You've missed out on so many trips with us! Don't tell us your just busy, because it sounds deeper than that."

Luan bit her cheek. It was inevitable to pass them by in halls; she did so with just a smile and a small wave before steering far enough before they could even say anything else. On the days when Benny couldn't make it to school, Luan ate lunch alone; unbothered, reading her textbooks and notebooks to make it through the hour. Sometimes, Shannon and Parvana would come by to stir up some chat, but they could never make it through it long without the presence of her spontaneous puns and gregarious energy. Something about her speaking in one-word answers and short phrases set them off, and pushed them away.

It wasn't avoidance to her; rather, she called it, spending time wisely. To have her friends with her- the people who didn't really care for working hard unless it was theatre- was only a temptation to lure her into falling back. What else could she say? How could she say that?

"Relax, guys. I've been really busy lately. Nothing deep is going on, unless you're talking about my list of unfinished schoolwork." She said with a laugh.

They stared at each other, with understanding nods, until Spencer cleared his throat. "Is it really up to the point you don't wanna hang with us anymore?"

"You always told us about time management," Amy said. "I mean, are you applying that to yourself?"

Luan paused and reflected. Right. She always did tell them to do that; especially if there was a script needing to be memorized and they'd bombard her with the same excuses she's giving them now. "Time management's all about prioritizing what's important, though. That's everything I'm doing right now."

"This year just really means a lot to me. I don't wanna fail, or anything like that."

Benny's face hardened into skepticism, moving to sit beside her on the front row. "You? Failing when? I've known you since middle school, and you're always the one topping our classes!"

He was right. She's always at the top of her classes, and more so her games; too bad the teachers carried disdain for what she used to do.

It's funny when she thought about it. What's the point of trying so hard to succeed, when doing so, she was failing herself?

"You're stressing yourself out, Luan." Parvana said in a soft tone. "You should get some down time, start living life again, you know."

Luan grew quiet. As much as she wanted to do so, acting like a normal teenager felt out of reach for her nowadays. There were so many things to focus on: this competition, her school works, upcoming group projects that weren't officially announced yet, but certainly will be- given a few days tops. A part of her shone with silver lining, that maybe somehow, the teachers will open their eyes to all her effort. She could knock them a few pegs by trying even harder than before now that she had an extra event, while showing off her theatre skills at the same time.

But… that karaoke bar did sound interesting. What would one slip of her work ethic do?

Luan looked up at them. "Why don't we go to the karaoke later, then? I wanna see what's up."

What once filled her wallet was spent, yet for the first time in forever, a strong sense of fulfillment enveloped her in a way getting high grades couldn't.

Her friends were right. Screaming her heart out to a song parodies made the highlight of the month. Don't tell Luna, though- it'd might be the end of her if her roommate finds out that they may have been making fun of Mick Swagger's songs back there. Hehehe...

Luan fiddled with the straps of her backpack as the Loud house began to show. Minutes after their club meeting ended, they spent the day on an extension of three hours of partying in a tiny disco box, taking turns with the mic as six of them- excluding Spencer since he had field hockey practice- sung their throats dry.

They went out to Gus' Games and Grub shortly after to get their fill on pizza for dinner, before parting ways, with each of them having different routes home. A raspy-speaking Benny proposed to take her home, but Luan dared to refuse. Their houses were technically towns apart, as the Steins lived in the north side of Royal Woods, a little closer to the border of Hazeltucky. His mom would pick him up, apparently, but she didn't wanna waste their time- and car gas to drive on the opposite side of their home; especially not when walking home for her was a cinch. The karaoke place wasn't far off Franklin Avenue, anyway.

She laughed to herself and kept that silly grin on her face with every house that passed her by. That was the most fun she had in forever. The thrill of letting your voice out, dancing to a beat like a wild man who drunk too much, and having an overall bonding time with your friends renewed her spirit. Suddenly, going through the next days didn't sound overbearing at all. If anything, whatever happens, she was ready for it.

But as the thoughts of earlier fade out, so did everything else. The adrenaline that pumped through her veins, hours prior from dancing to Benny's rap part of 'California Baes' diminished; the energy left her since they said goodbye to each other. The life was out of her bones the moment the party was over.

Her horizon was of the familiar neighborhood under the tint of orange skies; the sun was beginning to set, like the dread slowly kicking in with another step forward she took. Luna and Leni were gonna kill her for ditching them like that, and leaving them out of mind through the whole day, all to sneak in a little fun time.

A looming weight came pressing on her over again, as her stuck grin faltered. Speaking of parties, her next birthday routine was on Sunday, only a week from now. She had yet to come prepared for it; heck, the last time she touched her birthday props was long before Christmas break. With how much of a jungle their room was, looking for those things would require an adequate amount of Lori's OCD and Lynn's muscles to flip the whole room upside down and scoop through every single creek, chest, and drawer to find each of things she needed.

The front yard grew clearer in her vision. Then there were two assignments due tomorrow: on Algebra and a paper for Science… and then another group report in Social Studies due on Friday, because Miss Dublin just can't have enough.

That all-so-familiar fire that haunted her since the beginning of the semester rekindled. She never minded the chaos; she thrived in it. A hectic schedule kept her alive- but serving to be a project-pumping machine designed to fit whatever command the teacher requests of her isn't her definition of fun. Were they even half-aware that only the leaders do 101% of the work? Wake up, professors; this isn't a room of all-stars, it's a class mixed with nerds and dummies- what would you expect?

She took one step up the stairs to the porch, and another, then at last- before pausing in front of the door to regain composure. Eh, life was about fun anyway, not recognition. About making business, earning s stash of cash Mr. Coconuts could drown in. Having high grades was overrated; chasing it sounded desperate.

Call it a miracle to say that for the first time in forever, the noises coming from her siblings didn't blast through the door as if this wasn't here in the beginning.

No, it's not a miracle. It's anything but that; something must've been up. The Loud house was never in a calm disposition.

She pulled her phone out. It's seven o' clock, meaning dinner started only thirty minutes earlier. Why was it so quiet?

Her calves were beginning to ache. The long walk must've done it. With a deep breath, she mentally braced herself for whatever the doors would uncover. It did nothing to alleviate that nagging feeling of something being off. But it's her house too, so whatever.

Luan slipped into the house, and was immediately greeted by all her siblings huddled up on the couch- surprisingly, all clad in their pajamas. Was her watch mixed up into saying 7pm, because this told her it was already 9.

They all turned to her in surprise. "Wow, you came home early. Good thing mom and dad aren't coming back here til' 10, otherwise, you'd be doomed." Lynn snorted. "Went off on a date with Benny-boy again? How far'd you two make it?"

Lincoln nudged her. "The younger kids are here."

Lynn rubbed her forearm, glaring at him. "It's not like they'd get it."

"What's going on?" Luan walked near the stairs, glancing over at the TV.

"You don't remember?", Lola said harshly, as if the prospect of her forgetting was enough to offend her. "Tonight's the premier of The Dream Boat, season 3!"

It was?

"Oh, right! Must've gotten my dates mixed up, geddit?" They all groaned.

"Speaking of dates, don't forget to be early tomorrow." Leni started. "Tomorrow's your recognition day, remember?"

Luan's grin faltered, but didn't vanish entirely. "Yeah, yeah. How can I forget?"

She went upstairs wishing she could.

Luna grumbled under her breath, climbing down the ladder of her bunk. The sound of a rooster blared through the phone that sat on Luan's bedside. Yet there she was, curled up under her blanket with eyes clenched shut. How was she sound asleep through this?

And to think her ears were accustomed to listening to hard rock on most nights.

Hovering over the phone, Luna turned the alarm off. Seven o' clock sharp. Thirty minutes earlier than her alarm. She rubbed her eyes; thirty minutes that could've been spent with her climbing up on stage, singing her lungs out and living her rock n' roll fantasy.

Until this darn thing shouted it's all a dream- right before she was about to reach the stage and sing with Mick Swagger!

She huffed, placing a hand on her roommate's shoulder. It's only fair, she gets to ruin her morning too.

"Yo, dudette…" No response.

"Mate, wake up." Luna softly shook her.

She didn't move. "I'm up."

"Uh-huh. Sure looks like it." Luan's back remained turned on her. "It's time to get ready for your special, dude. Your alarm woke me up before it did you."

A tone of enthusiasm seeped in Luna's voice, one she didn't share. "I don't wanna go." Luan finally rolled over, hovering an arm over her eyes. "I feel sick."

"Yeah, 'kay. Keep on humbling yourself like that, " Luna tilted her head to catch a better view of her face, placing a hand on her forehead. "You feel fine to me."

"Gee thanks, here I was hoping you'd call me hot." The edges of her lips curled up. "Get it?"

Luna rolled her eyes, going down to their closet. "Seriously, dude, get up. You don't wanna miss the buffet dad's making us in the restaurant."

The door closed yet the sounds of pity-pattering and voices echoed beyond the wall. Luan glared at the ceiling and groaned. Dad's buffet… how could she say no to that once-in-a-lifetime dinner? "Fine."

Luan lifted herself off the pillow ever so slightly. The world spun as a strong throb pulsed through the back of her head. She froze in place.

The sudden stillness in the room didn't go unnoticed. "You okay?"

The throb turned into a dull ache; a heavy weight pooling at the back of her head. "Yeah, I'm okay… just a little dizzy."

Luna nodded. "If you say so."

The rocker turned her back on Luan as she picked up her robe, leaving out the door without another word.

Luan brought her knees to her chest, head in her hand. She leaned back on the headboard and stared at the wall. The world around her was the same as it was. Yet the sounds of footsteps and muffled voices around her felt too much to comprehend. The sunlight that barely seeped into their closed curtains burned her eyes. It's like waking up from a coma, like you've forgotten your role in the real world after disassociating for so long.

With the sunrays passing through their open windowsill, Luan reached out to her blanket and wrapped herself in it. One move of her head, would turn the world into a spiral after all those sleepless nights. Scattered aches throbbed throughout her limbs, only the skies know why. Through her long-sleeved pajamas, an itch came from her shoulder. She scratched it through the cloth, hissing lightly at the piercing twinge from yesterday's act. The pain was nothing; try nearly killing yourself every night in an attempt to get better grades, only to fall flat by the end of the semester. Ha.

Waking up already gave her the congratulations she so deserved. A headache and body sores were more than enough. Luan stayed put in bed, figuring she'd be last in line to the bathroom right now; reaching to her nightstand, she pulled her phone and turned it on. A flood of greetings blowing up her notifications, the redundant compliments from 'good job' to 'congrats', and the occasional starry emojis that flooded their messages.

She huffed, putting her phone to the drawer beside her. Recognition day? More like humiliation day. After all the nights she spent working and studying, hoping and praying- and that's it? Top 43? Even the kids who weren't thrown into her stance as a leader did better? Ridiculous.

"You coming or nay?" The fragrant aroma of shampoo wafted the room.

Luna took showers fast- probably because she didn't have as much hair as the rest of them did. Luan jolted, turning to the left, right when Luna picked up her clothes out the closet, clad in her purple robe with a towel hung on her shoulder. "Or." Luan beamed.

Luna twisted her head and glimpsed at her, surfing through their ocean of clothes. "Don't tell me you're gonna fake being sick again, brah." She groaned. "I swear, this is not the day you'd wanna get sick on."

Please, Luna. She inwardly sneered. If only you knew. "And why not? It's not like I'm proud of myself."

Mom and dad assumed that since they're the roommates, closest in age and similar in terms of their upbeat, optimistic personalities, they're the ones who know each other best. When the other is sick, they're supposed to take care of them- because the way they see it, they're like Leni and Lori.

They couldn't be more wrong, however. They weren't a Lori and Leni pair- they were a Lola and a Lana.

Luna shot her head towards her as if the implication of her little sister's disappointment offended her. "And why's that, brah?"

Oops, Luan thought. Didn't mean to go below the belt.

Luan forced herself up with shaky legs; spare her from a concerned Luna cornering her until she utters it out. "Don't worry," She shook her head. "I was kidding, okay? I'll go."

She rushed to get her robe and clothes, leaving the room with a shut of the door. Once Luna finished changing into a more formal outfit of hers- nothing much, just some black jeans, thrown in with boots and a purple coat, she walked over to her dresser to look at the mirror. She wasn't proud of herself?

Lincoln's voice rang back in her mind. Insecure… of herself…

If emotions were people, Luan would be the embodiment of joy. Regardless of any occasion, even during a birthday party that didn't end well, it only took so much time before Luan would come back piping with energy- endlessly blurting out the dumbest puns and jumping around like a normal 15-year-old wouldn't do. But that's what she was born to be- a chirpy, ball of optimism. Any chance she got to go on stage, Luan would never let such an opportunity pass. On a day like this, especially, she'd be giddy and already waiting for when she can go on stage.

But she wasn't.

Apprehension crawled through her gut. What if he was right?

"Where to, first?" Lana asked.

Raindrops tapped on their glass windows. Buzzing in the van was the air conditioner, making it feel chillier than her blazer could keep up with.

"Lincoln's," Dad said from the wheel. "The middle school had been scheduled the earliest, which is around… uh…"

"45 minutes from now, father." Lisa glanced at her tiny watch. "Giving us enough time to get there through traffic, while sparing us from the pain of having to rush through the halls looking for the venue."

Luan leaned her head on the glass, feeling it vibrate against her scalp with every roar of their engines. Sitting on the last row in Vanzilla, the mere presence of Luna and Lynn beside her was enough to drain her energy. The former sang along a tune in her headphones, and the latter threw a softball to the air… caught it, and threw it up again.

The skies were grey, and the news report said this week spelled out bad weather, and today marked its beginning. That's just what comes with autumn, Luan guessed. Rainy days- lots of them.

She rubbed the sleeve of her blazer. Normally the rough nylon texture pushed her to the edge, the cold atmosphere called out for her to wear it. The schools didn't tell them to wear the fanciest outfits or anything- just enough to look decent. Like they were going to a formal party.

Suffice to say, seeing Lana and Lynn in dresses was fascinating. "It's not fair! How come Luna gets to wear jeans?" Lana argued earlier at home.

"That's cuz she's got the fancy dark jeans, y'know- the ones you can wear to a meeting or something." Lynn nudged her, uncomfortably hugging herself. She had it better than Lana, since underneath her red, long-sleeved dress, she wore leggings and steel toes- so technically, still boyish- unlike the younger girl, who had the exact same outfit as Lola, but in blue.

Lana grumbled, in a manner that looked adorable. Call it the highlight of Luan's day.

When they arrived to the Royal Woods' middle school auditorium, they gathered into a row of seats, except for Lincoln and dad, who sat at the very front row where parents and honors were placed. She pressed herself onto the soft, blue couch. It's been a while since she'd been here. The same scent of their air conditioner sent her back to when she was a student here herself, looking back at the stage where she'd watch theatre plays and told herself she'd be like them one day.

"You good?" Luna nudged from beside her, giving her a one-sided glance.

How many times are you gonna ask that? "Uh-huh."

The whole occasion was filled with thoughts that ranged but still stood similar: the faster it started, the quicker it'd end. Luan gave her all to not yawn, blankly starting at the school faculty on stage setting up the microphone. "Hey, what grade do they start with again?"

It depended on the school-whether they began with the oldest batch going down to the youngest, or the other way around.

"Sixth." Luna responded.

She nodded. Nice. "What's Linc's rank?"

"I think, uh, the ninth out of sixty-three?"

One of the top ten? Even better.

The emcee opened the program with the good ole national anthem, then pledge, with a little hymn dedicated to Royal Woods. As they sat down, the woman in front blabbed about fancy welcome addresses that only stretched the hour. Luan pouted. This was boring.

But Lincoln was on the ninth spot, and if they were calling this by descending order then, thank God, she wouldn't be here for long.

"Alright, now to begin!" The emcee exclaimed; they clapped. "Top 63…"

Never mind.

Luan slumped and held back her groan, knowing well that after this would be Lisa's recognition; that they'd have to sit through all five elementary levels, before 29 more children get called before their baby sister, at last reaches the stage. She pulled out her phone and aimlessly scrolled through Birdie as the numbers went higher- from 55, 54, 53…to 49, 48, 47. Consider sitting through this one practice for the next two that were about to come.

…

Red and yellow. That's the theme every school in Royal Woods aimed for.

Their awarding ceremony held in their gymnasium, a place that was made specifically for graduations, was decorated with those two colors. The stage were two gigantic curtains of maroon laced in gold. The balloons surrounding the stage, left and right on below were white. An airy and spacious place, its grandeur size didn't shock the Louds anymore. This was the same venue Lori had received her high school diploma. The same stage dad had broken down upon.

They sat down the row of mono block chairs neatly arranged. Heck, she deserved none of this. Their proud grins, their enthusiasm to be here. To be in this big event in this simple-made-fancy venue, wearing this Sunday dress that made her glow into a special type of glory weren't things that she deserved.

All for what? A spot on the 43rd place? Luan crossed her arms. Come on, that's like simply giving out a ' thank you' to the carpenters who burnt themselves under the summer heat, got rained on during the autumn rain, and got stung by the winter chills just to build your dreamhouse. Was the prestige of going up on stage, and given the elegantly-designed certificates really worth the family's effort of coming here? Better yet, is this was all she was gonna get- after dropping Funny Business, pausing her comedy career, and pushing away her theatre club in order to chase perfection that was left in vain?

"Luan!" He wore a navy-blue suit, and a red bowtie. Benny, the sole reason why she came.

She stood up, ignoring how her family squealed in amusement as she pulled him into a brief hug. " Fancy meeting you here.", She laughed. "Get it?"

"Couldn't miss this for the world." He grinned, and suddenly all her problems come to pass. "Not sure if you noticed, but you're not the only one who managed to get into the list."

She smirked. He was on the 45th, not too far away from hers. "Took ya long enough to find out."

He nodded. "And that was all because I tried looking for your rank."

Being here in itself was a mission already. For the whole time, as her knees jittered and her fingers twiddled, as they called the 50th honor, down to 49, 48… reaching Benny's- she clapped, cheered, and practically bounced on her chair; in the name of distraction. For a second, she sat still upon seeing the 47th person being a total stranger to her; but then, the thoughts returned. You should've done better.

When hers came, so did the nagging sense of inadequacy- a flurry of thoughts rose gradually. Maybe she didn't try hard enough, this wasn't something to be proud of- but screw that. Screw everything; this award undermined her effort through the semester, yet that didn't matter. The spotlight was facing her. On her shoulder was dad's hand squeezing her, pushing her up there to get that certificate. Looking down from the stage were her mom and her siblings, and their encouraging grins; She gave them the widest beam, putting her braces into light as mom snapped a photo.

The next name was called up to the limelight as dad walked her down the stage. If only she could be as happy as they were.

Then when she came down, her family pulled her into a group hug. The warmth, the stuffiness of being entangled in thirteen sets limbs, contrasted the ever-growing hole inside. A cold, almost empty sensation filled her chest. She should be at the very least, grateful that her family was taking this more seriously than she ever could, yet this was it? Her hard work was all for some paper?

"Okay, kids, groupie!" Mom exclaimed, holding up her selfie stick. The camera could only see the optimistic glow on her face, the ear-to-ear grin that narrowed her eyes into slits. If one would look closer, the strain her cheeks would still be left into oblivion.

Seventeen muscles dully cried out. She gave Benny a hug and a peck on the cheek and dad shot them a photo; half an hour was spent snapping pictures with her mom, dad, siblings. Maybe everyone was savoring every single minute inside the gymnasium, with their out-of-the-ordinary outfits, all to flex some certificates. Like it was the first time they had an award or something.

Upon leaving the gym, at last, her cheeks were given a break. They drove back all the way to Lynn's Table for dad's special treat. The drive was stretched on for minutes, enough to see the blue-sky morph to orange. Her seat was behind dad's, leaning on the windowpane she watched cars of different shades and shapes pass by- zoning out of the family conversation that kept her siblings entertained all the way back. Up until the van parked in their restaurant's parking lot, she kept her eyebrows lifted and the corners of her lips up. Maybe if she convinced herself hard enough that smiling would put a spell on her, it'd happen.

Lincoln boasted about his hard work, how it elating it was to be the ninth out of an entire civilization of honor students; Lisa snorted and mentioned how sixth grade was a walk in the park, and that if she could blink through kindergarten and be the top in the whole batch, and go through fifth grade without trying, then she could wing it without even trying as much as him. The twins laughed, Lily babbled, and the rest of them basked in the cushioned couches of a restaurant they considered their second home.

"When's the food coming out?" Lola whined. "I'm starving!"

Dad said he wouldn't be back in a while, still preparing the entire buffet for them. "What do Hungarians say to Turkey? I'm hungary enough to bomb your country!"

Everyone groaned. "Glad to have the ol' Luan back." Luna wrapped an arm around her, and ruffled her hair, much to her chagrin.

"H- hey! Not the ponytail, Lunes!" She pulled her head away with a giggle. Good. That'd keep the family at bay.

Why don't you do it, again? Her own voice rang in mind. It made you feel better the last time, maybe it's exactly what you need.

She brought a hand down her calf, brushing off a small itch inside her knee-sock. Her other hand creeped into the pocket of her blazer, caressing the jagged tip of her small silvery object. "Uh, Leni, may I be excused?"

"Where you going, sis?" Lana turned to her.

Luan stood up with no effort considering she was at the edge of the semi-circle sofa. "Gotta do my business."