Santana stared out of the window and twirled a pencil between her fingers. She hadn't seen Rachel or Bella since that morning, and that was a feat in and of itself as it felt like Rachel was everyone and nowhere at the same time. Every time Santana turned around, Rachel was going in the opposite direction or had just turned the corner. The majority of the day so far had been made up of small glimpses of Rachel with Bella, with Mike, or walking alone. It was frustrating because Santana felt as if she were missing a limb whenever Rachel wasn't around or nearby. She had tried explaining to Quinn what she was feeling, and her girlfriend simply looked at her and said –

"I know."

And that was that. So. Not much help there until Quinn admitted that she was feeling the same thing. So without Rachel around, they were off-balance. It was different when Rachel wasn't there or when they knew she wasn't in the school, but now that they knew, Santana and Quinn wanted more. She reached up to touch her chest, right where her heart was, and Santana grimaced. It was out of sync, a stutter-stop feeling that she felt in her entire body.

What made it worse was that the rumors were as bad as they were the first time around, and those who remembered Rachel made it a point to tell anyone who didn't about what happened. And Santana had a creeping sense of guilt lingering in her chest that refused to go away. She knew she should've done more, that she should've defended Rachel, but she couldn't. Brittany said it would be social suicide to do so, and Santana was too focused on staying on the cheerleading squad so she could get that scholarship. So she kept quiet while Azimio dumped slushy after slushy on Rachel's head, stood by while the older cheerleaders wrote 'easy' on her locker, and left Rachel in the choir room with Kurt, listening to him scream at her until Rachel ran from the room crying. She didn't punch Finn in his throat every time he walked down the hall, smug and cocky. She ignored the whispers, the taunting, and the outright bullying that followed Rachel for most of the semester.

And it backfired.

Santana still lost the scholarship, and she'd ruined her friendship – relationship – with Rachel. But she was back. Except Santana wasn't so sure it was the same Rachel who left.

The chair next to her squeaked across the floor as a body dropped into it, and Santana looked over her shoulder. Bella unpacked her bag, and Santana couldn't deny she felt a little relieved. Seeing Bella meant that the morning hadn't been some dramatic hallucination. When Bella finished, she shifted toward Santana and leaned on the table.

"Now. There are very few secrets between my sister and I, but there was one thing she refused to tell me when I asked her about it. I could never understand why Rachel made the entire school think that Finn took her virginity. He surely wasn't smart enough to recognize it, so why did she let him brag about it as if it were true? But today, this morning in the conference room, it hit me." Santana pursed her lips, silently hoping that she wouldn't say it, but Bella cocked her head and confronted Santana head-on. "Rachel never said anything about who took her virginity because it was you, wasn't it?" she asked.

The denial was on the tip of her tongue, all she had to do was tell Bella to fuck off and mind her business, but Santana was tired of the lies and the secrets. So she nodded once, and Bella raised her eyebrow in a silent demand for an explanation.

"There was this dance club Rachel and I used to be in," she said.

"In Columbus, right? The same one with Mike?"

"He joined afterward. But for the first session, from May-to-June, it was just us. We were there every other weekend, and at first, I thought Rachel was annoying. I hated her, hated being with her, and I hated having to be her partner. But she has this uncanny ability to get past someone's defenses and settle under their skin. She became like a tattoo, and her presence was etched into my thoughts and dreams until one night my brother shattered my entire world." Santana flexed her fingers and let out a humorless laugh. "He didn't care about the belief system we were raised under, so he didn't agree with the rules about sexuality and all that. That night, he pretty much told me that I had a crush on Rachel. I was so mad at him because I didn't like girls. I couldn't like them because our father said it was evil. And he just looked at me and asked me to imagine my life without her."

Santana brought her hands to her lap and looked down, messing with the ring on her finger.

"When I thought about it, I had this pain in my chest. And that's when the seed was planted, I guess. The one where I had to look back on every friendship, every celebrity obsession, and every random encounter with a new set of eyes. I was thirteen, and I had just discovered that I was attracted to girls. Of course, I never said anything. My brother and I still lived with my father, under his roof, so we very rarely spoke about it at home. But I knew and he knew. And that was enough for me at the time. I never told Rachel, turned down her requests to get together outside of the dance club, and my crush still kept growing."

"And then?"

"Then I fucked up," Santana said, her voice cracking. "There was this trip to Cleveland planned for the final weekend in June. The instructors wanted us to experience an actual dance competition, and we were randomly assigned roommates for the hotel. For three days, I was alone with Rachel in a hotel room away from Lima, away from my Dad, and away from all the expectations. The first night was fine, we barely spoke, but the second night, Rachel was singing in the bathroom and dancing around. And I blurted out that she was cute. Rachel just looked at me for a long time. Then she left the bathroom and stopped in front of my bed. She asked me straight out if I actually hated her, and I'm not sure why, but I told her no. Then she kissed me."

"Wait, she made the first move?"

"She always made the first move," Santana said. "Even when we were dancing, she led, and I followed. It was no different that night. But we had no idea what we were doing. It was awkward and slow and…" Santana cleared her throat and finally looked back up, adding, "I had panicked the next morning, and I said some awful things to her. But she just moved to the other bed and pretended as if it never happened. The rest of the trip, she acted as if nothing was wrong, and I was so mad. She didn't hate me or scream at me. She didn't speak to me at all unless she had to, and I wanted to make her talk to me. But I was the one who pushed her away, and she never fought me on it. So when we started the second session of the summer, Mike had joined the club, and the two of them clicked so fast. I got jealous and quit after a week. I signed up for the Cheerios summer training. Sue gave me shit for being a late transfer, but I didn't care. As long as I was away from Rachel. I had no idea that in a matter of months, things would go straight to hell."

"You know she came out to me the first night she was in Forks," Bella said. "That she'd known since she was thirteen that she liked girls. And for the longest time, I couldn't understand why she always changed the subject when I asked who her first crush was. She would just smile. But this morning, in the conference room, when she said you were on your third chance -

"I was given every opportunity to defend her, to tear Finn's story apart, but I didn't. I never did. I broke her heart in Columbus, and I broke it again in Lima. So. Yeah, this is my third chance to get it right."

"And do you actually plan on getting it right?"

"You mean beyond the fact that you threatened to break every bone in my body if I hurt her? Of course, I want to get it right."

"That wasn't a threat. I was completely serious."

"What is it with you? Like seriously, your vibes are…intense."

"You're one to talk. Rachel told me what you did to Hudson, so mind the hypocrisy, Rambo."

"All I did was break his jaw."

"Oh? So the cracked ribs, concussion, and internal bleeding was someone else?"

"Those were because the dumbass fell down the stairs."

"Yeah, after you hit him." Santana gave her a blank look, and Bella shook her head. "You know what? Never mind. As for the vibes thing, if you saw a half of what I've seen in my lifetime, went through only a bit of what I did, then you would have some fucked up vibes too, Lopez. Okay? So give me a break."

"I've seen and experienced my fair share of fucked up shit," Santana said.

"Good, then you know that I'm not being a bitch on purpose."

"That seems to be debatable."

"Whatever. Look, if you care so much about getting it right? Then don't hide from her."

"Hide what?"

"Your demons. Rachel doesn't need you to protect her. She-" Bella stopped and clicked her teeth, "Rachel's strong, and she can handle whatever you throw at her. So don't hide," she said. "And I implore you to tell Quinn the same thing."

"Why are you telling me this?"

"Consider it an olive branch."

Santana folded her arms and asked, "What happened to her?"

"What do you mean?"

"She's different. I could tell from her body language earlier and when I managed to catch her in the halls."

Bella snorted and said, "Yeah, you'd be different too if you went through what she did."

"Why do I get the feeling you're not talking about what happened here in Lima?"

"How did you and Quinn end up together?" Bella asked, changing the subject.

"I don't know," Santana huffed. "It was like one day, I looked at her, and I saw my entire future."

"And how does my sister play into all of this?"

"What makes you think she does?"

"Give me a fucking break," Bella scoffed. "You spent almost five minutes waxing poetic about your first time with her, and Quinn had that same puppy dog look in her eyes this morning when you two were begging for a second chance. You're both in love with my sister."

"Then you already know the answer to your question," Santana said.

"So why haven't you said anything? Or did anything worthwhile about it?"

"There's still some things we're going through, and it wouldn't help to drag her into the middle of it."

"I assure you whatever you're going through will be the least of Rachel's concerns."

"What's that supposed to mean?"

"It means that you can't keep making excuses anymore. I already know about Quinn. I had this exact conversation with her in our last class, but you? Rachel can't even say you were the first person she had sex with. She can't even admit that you were her first love. You fucked her up long before Finn got his hands on her. What she went through with him was just the catalyst. So if you want to make this right, if you want to be what she's wanted you to be for the last three years, then get your head out of your fucking ass and fix it."

Bella got up from her seat and moved to the empty table ahead of Santana, and no sooner than she did, Rachel walked into the room with Mike. He had his arm around her and whispering in her ear, and it was almost like they were thirteen again. Santana felt a burning sense of jealousy and guilt, so much so that she didn't realize she'd broken her pencil until she felt a sharp pain in her hand. Santana had a piece of wood sticking out of her palm, and she packed up her things with one hand.

"Oh, my God. Are you okay?"

Santana looked up at Rachel, wanting everything and nothing, and she said, "Yeah, I'm fine. I'm just going to go to Coach and get this cleaned up."

"Do you need help carrying anything? I can help you there and get a late pass from Coach Sylvester."

"Why are you so perfect?" Rachel blinked at the question, and Santana paled when she realized she said that out loud. Thankfully, it was only loud enough for Mike and Bella to hear, but still. Santana scrambled back from her chair and said, "No, I'm fine. Thanks."

Santana slipped past Mike and Bella, hurrying from the room, and she held her hand to her chest. She was halfway there when someone took her books and bag from her arm, and Santana rolled her eyes at Mike.

"Go away, Mike. I don't need you being chivalrous right now," she said. "I really am fine."

"Yeah, except that's not what this is," he said.

"Then what is it?" she asked warily.

"Rachel and I spent an entire Saturday spilling our most sacred secrets before freshman year started. She told me everything that happened that summer, and I told her about my parents leaving me to return home. She knows I'm living with Coach Beiste, and I know that her first and second love ended up being the two people who hurt her the most. And I'm not talking about Finn." Mike glanced down at her and lowered his voice. "But I also know that she's forgiven you both ten times over. So consider this my shovel talk and my promise to you. I will always be there for Rachel, which means I will always be there for you and for Quinn. But if you two hurt her in any way, for any reason, you will regret it. I may not be Bella, and I may not be Coach Sylvester, but I protect the people I love by any means necessary." Mike looked away and added, "So I don't care what you have to do, but you and Quinn need to get your shit together. Because if there's anyone in this world who can love Rachel for who she is, it's you, and it's Quinn. Rachel deserves you as much as you two deserve her."

With that Mike tugged Santana forward by the arm, leading her to the nurse's office instead of Coach Sylvester. And Santana spent the entire time wondering when the hell she became the threatened one instead of the one making the threats.

Naturally, her luck was short-lived.

Santana cradled her hand to her chest as the room slowly filled with her former…teammates? She couldn't necessarily call any of them friends. Kurt, Mercedes, and Tina sat up front, and behind them was the new kid, Blaine, the other new kid, Lauren, and Artie. Finn was the last to arrive with Brittany, and Santana wondered how on Earth she ended up being the outcast in the group of outcasts. She already felt a headache coming on. Her annoyance vanished when Quinn walked in with Sam and Mike, and Quinn kissed her on the cheek before sitting on her left side. Sam chose the desk on Quinn's other side near the window, and Mike picked the one in front of Quinn. He gave Quinn a high-five, then smirked at Santana.

"Sup, Satan."

"Chang," she greeted.

They shared a nod, their conversation from before still fresh in both of their minds, and Mike turned around. Sitting at the back had been a choice, but Santana was starting to realize it was for the best. A line of random students separated the former Glee club from one another, and the tension was slowly rising. It'd been a long time since they were all in the same room together, and Santana flexed the fingers of her good hand. Brittany's arm draped over Finn's shoulder was nauseating, and the way she hung over him made her scowl.

"Stop that," Quinn whispered, brushing her cheek. "You'll get frown lines."

"I'm Hispanic, Quinn. That won't happen for at least twenty more years."

"Oh, stop bragging. You know I'll have to get botox before my twenty-first birthday."

Santana snorted and kissed Quinn on the lips, smiling when Sam and Mike both made gagging noises in the background. She flipped them both off and went for another kiss, but the sudden silence in the room caused her to look up. Rachel kind of stumbled in with Bella, laughing and adjusting her book bag in the process. She dressed in an entirely different outfit, and Santana felt something warm crawling down her spine at the sight.

"Fuck," Quinn muttered.

Santana nodded in agreement. Rachel wore a Pirates jersey with black sweatpants and low sneakers. She paused and unbuttoned it, inadvertently showing off a toned and defined stomach behind a white tank top that made Quinn suck in a sharp breath. Santana reached down and squeezed her thigh in warning. Or agreement. She didn't know at that point. Regardless, it was so un-Rachel like that several Glee kids did triple-takes when she walked in. But the one thing that stood out the most to Santana was the fact that her hair was wet.

"What the fuck?" Santana exclaimed. "Did you get slushied?"

Santana immediately regretted her outburst when the entire room looked back at her. Rachel just smiled at her - a real smile and not the grimace one she wore all day - and Santana's anger melted just a little. Until Rachel answered her question.

"Yes," she said. "But I took care of it."

Santana blinked in confusion because what the hell did that mean? Quinn must've been thinking the same thing because she beat Santana to the response.

"You took care of it?" Quinn repeated.

"The English language rarely allows for miscommunication, Quinn, especially from me." Quinn arched an eyebrow, and Rachel slipped her hands into her pockets. "But thank you, for your concern," she added. "Though, I am confused why it matters? You knew it would happen, just as I did."

"No, Rachel, because that's the point," Santana said. "We took you off the list."

Rachel froze, and a different kind of silence fell over the room. Santana caught the shocked looks on the other Glee kids faces', but she ignored them.

"What list? What are you talking about?" Bella asked.

"The Slushy List," Rachel said. "It tells you who you can and cannot target. The Cheerios put down the names, and the football players enforced it."

"Sounds barbaric, actually, but effective."

"Moving on," Rachel said. "It happened, and that i is the end of it. The individual will not do it again, and I assure you that anyone else bold and stupid enough to try it a second time will have the same outcome." There was a very tense pause before Rachel looked right and Brittany and added, "Be sure to pass that along to your friends."

Brittany's jaw clenched, and Rachel navigated her way to the back with Bella just behind her. She passed Kurt, Mercedes, and Tina without looking their way. She excused herself past Artie, and she pretended as if Brittany and Finn didn't exist. But everyone's eyes followed Rachel as she chose the chair on Santana's other side. Bella sat in front of Rachel and angled her chair, giving her a perfect view of the room. Mike loudly asked Sam about a television show, and conversations sparked into action. Quinn leaned forward and got Rachel's attention.

"Sorry about that. It caught us off guard, but you look nice," she said, clearing her throat. "I didn't even know you owned sweatpants."

"Unless they had owls or some random animal stitched on them," Santana added.

"I wore those clothes because I kept getting slushied," Rachel said pointedly. "But thanks, I think, for the compliment. Getting hit before the dismissal bell and having to run back to the house made my options limited."

"You make it work," Santana said, half-aware of what she was saying. "Really well, actually."

"For the record, that's my jersey," Mike scoffed, glaring at Rachel. "When did you even steal it?"

"Sunday while you were in the shower," Rachel said. "I also took your Flyers jersey too."

"Ass."

"How often do you steal his clothes?" Santana asked, not even bothering to hide her jealousy.

"I steal everyone's clothing. Play your cards right, and some of yours might go missing too."

"Promise?"

"Cross my heart."

"Excuse me? What the hell?" Santana and Rachel looked at Quinn, who pouted, "Why am I not included in this scenario of clothes stealing?" she asked.

Santana snorted, and Rachel leaned on the desk with her arms folded.

"Baby, I can take yours too if you ask nicely," she teased. "I may even let you have something of mine."

"What the hell is going on?"

And with that, the little bubble they were in popped, and Rachel's smile fell. Finn was standing up, and he was clearly the spokesperson for the rest of the room. But Santana couldn't figure out why Brittany was glaring so hard at Rachel all of a sudden, and why Rachel's hand kept twitching under the desk.

"Well, we were having a conversation until you interrupted," Rachel said. "Why did you, by the way?"

"I just - why are you flirting with them?" he stammered.

"That was us having fun. You would know if I were flirting," Rachel said. "Well, maybe. You were not that great at not recognizing it the first time around."

"I'd say he did enough if it got you on your knees," Kurt muttered.

"Watch it, Kurt," Rachel said. "I would speak very little if I were you."

"Look, I don't know what they told you -

"Nothing, actually," Rachel interrupted. glancing between Finn and Kurt. "I know absolutely nothing, but unless either of you are willing to tell me where all this hostility is coming from, then by all means, have at it. If not, how about you two shut the fuck up and mind your fucking business?"

"Excuse me -

"Kurt, you have about two seconds to think twice about the next thing you say to me before I wrap that pretty little scarf around your neck and pull," she warned.

"Did you just threaten me?" he exclaimed, his voice almost screeching.

Rachel rubbed her ear and said, "In my family, we do not make threats. We make promises, and I am a woman of my word. Do you truly wish to test that theory?"

Kurt was shocked enough to go silent, and Rachel focused solely on Finn. She exhaled sharply and stood up.

"Finn, after everything you did to me, do you honestly think that you have the right to question me?"

"I'm not!"

"Then what would you call it?"

"Just - it's weird! You didn't even like them a few years ago! You used to bitch all the time about how they didn't like you or how they were being mean to you, and now, you're friends? Bullshit. You haven't spoken to me all day, but you're cracking jokes with Satan and Quinn? That's not fair! Santana was the one who almost killed me, and you're treating her like she was the - the victim or whatever."

"Oh, fuck you!" Santana snapped. "You're so full of shit!"

"How? You're the one who put me in the hospital for three weeks!"

"Yeah, and you are so fucking lucky that I didn't break your dick off, you stupid, mother -

A hand covered her mouth, and Santana looked up. Rachel stood over her, pupils slightly dilated, and she leaned down.

"Enough," she whispered. "Let me handle it."

Santana nodded slowly, and Rachel lowered her hand, fingers trailing over Santana's jaw before falling away. Rachel then straightened and turned around, taking a few steps until she was in front of Finn. He couldn't look down on her like he used to, and it made him uncomfortable. He took a small step back, but Rachel followed and poked him in the chest.

"You have some balls, you know that?" she said.

"I didn't -

Rachel pushed him back, and Finn stumbled into the desk right next to Artie and Tina. They moved away, and she grabbed him by the shirt collar, tugging him forward.

"Has it not clicked in your tiny, tiny brain the damage that you did? You ruined my fucking life, Finn. You embarrassed me in front of the entire school,and you did nothing to protect me. Hell, you encouraged it. You became the big man on campus for bagging Rachel ManHands Berry, and I became a pariah. I became a whore and easy and a target for any jock needing to get his dick wet. And you did nothing! Did you know that I kept my phone number for three months after I left? Because I did, and I can count on one hand who reached out to me. You were not one of them. You never called. You never texted me. You never even bothered to DM me. You let me walk away after telling me that you loved me and wanted our first time to be special. And it ended up being the worst two minutes of my life, half of which was spent watching you fumble with the goddamn condom."

Finn flushed red from embarrassment and anger, and Rachel let everything she never said pour from her lips.

"I stood by and let you drag my name through the mud and said nothing. And you enjoyed it my silence. Why? Because you loved letting the world think that you, Finn Hudson, Captain of the Football Team, and Quarterback Extraordinaire, got Rachel Berry to get on her knees for you. The virginal, Broadway-bound superstar who was allegedly too anal to hold a boy's hand, let alone spread her legs for one. That is what you said, right? In the locker room before practice, doing everything in your power to make it seem like you were the winner in the scenario when the truth is," she leaned forward and dropped her voice to a whisper, "you were the worst fuck I had ever had. Then again, I do prefer having a woman between my legs instead of a man. But I digress."

Finn jerked back in surprise, and Rachel gave him a mocking smile.

"Oh, right. You thought I was straight and a virgin," she murmured. "Pity."

"You - you -

"Stop before you embarrass yourself," she said, releasing his shirt and folding her arms. "Now, I have no desire or urge to make amends with you. At all. See, a normal person would have accepted that I moved on, that I healed. A normal person would have apologized the first chance he could instead of acting as if it was no big deal. But that is not what you did, and that is not who you are. So, I will say this one time and one time only. Do not speak to me. Do not look at me. Do not touch me. And if you think of me, do so with regret and guilt and shame and pain, because that is all that you left me with."

Rachel stepped back and tilted her head toward Brittany. Brittany clenched her jaw and met her gaze dead-on, and as she moved back to her seat, Rachel bent down, clenching her fists and putting them behind her back. To keep from hitting her or strangling her, Rachel wasn't sure.

"Do you have something to say as well?"

Brittany shook her head no, and Rachel glared at her one last time before she went back to her seat. Mr. Schue came in not even a second later, and he was unsurprisingly oblivious.

But Santana…Santana watched Bella the entire time. When Rachel grabbed Finn, Bella was halfway out of her seat. And the hairs on the back of Santana's neck stood up. Bella's eyes alternated between blue and brown, and she gripped the desk so hard the wood splintered. Santana knew then that whatever happened in Forks, whatever shit Rachel was going through or had gone through, Bella was at the center.